In Lulije's Shoes
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
In Lulije’s Shoes Doing Gender and Family in Rural Kosovo by Marina Mikhaylova-Kadriu M.A. (Balkan Studies), Sofia University “St. Kliment Okhridski”, 2015 Thesis Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Master of Arts in the Department of Sociology and Anthropology Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences © Marina Mikhaylova-Kadriu 2021 SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY Spring 2021 Copyright in this work rests with the author. Please ensure that any reproduction or re-use is done in accordance with the relevant national copyright legislation. Declaration of Committee Name: Marina Mikhaylova-Kadriu Degree: Master of Arts (Anthropology) Title: In Lulije’s Shoes: Doing Gender and Family in Rural Kosovo Committee: Chair: Kyle Willmott Assistant Professor, Sociology and Anthropology Pamela Stern Supervisor Associate Professor, Sociology and Anthropology Amanda D. Watson Committee Member Lecturer, Sociology and Anthropology Kate Hennessy Examiner Associate Professor, Interactive Arts & Technology ii Ethics Statement iii Abstract My thesis describes the practices associated with being a rural Kosovo nuse, an Albanian word referring to both brides and young married women. These practices, which Kosovo people regard as prescribed by tradition, include but are not limited to wearing distinctive outfits and jewelry and performing specific tasks such as serving refreshments to in-laws and visitors. I frame these practices as doing gender and family and explore how they facilitate the creation and maintenance of affinal relationships in the context of the still widespread patrilocality of rural Kosovo. I pay special attention to the rich material culture, which accompanies nuse performances, and briefly engage with their embodied nature. A fictional account is woven into the text with the aim to bring closer the complexity and minutiae of the wedding rituals and the patrilocal life afterwards. Keywords: doing gender; doing family; material culture; embodiment; everyday and ritual life; ethnographic fiction iv Dedication In memory of Sonja Luehrmann, a bright, everlasting lodestar v Acknowledgements Faleminderit, nanë. Your stories and courage inspired me for years to come. You also helped me by introducing me to your friends and relatives and thoughtfully translating unknown words into words you remembered I knew. Faleminderit to my research participants who shared their precious time, expertise, and memories. Faleminderit to my entire Kosovo family whose help was indispensable: they hosted my fieldwork, found research participants, and patiently taught me their ways of life. Faleminderit, Quqë, and Emine, you were my first-line team. Warm thanks go to my supervisor, Dr. Pamela Stern for salvaging this project after my initial supervisor passed away, and carefully guiding it to completion. Pam, thank you for your kindness and for helping me escape the traps of black-and-white interpretations. Many thanks to the Centre for Comparative Muslim Studies at SFU whose award paid for my ticket to Kosovo and a DSLR camera, as well as to the Department of Sociology and Anthropology for the funding they made available to me. My husband, parents, sister, aunt and uncle, and late grandma were together with me in that too, cheering and praying for me, reading my drafts, offering a lot of support, practical help, and advice. Without your help, I would have never embarked on this journey. Faleminderit, Rizë, for working tirelessly for us and for helping clarify my rough ideas about your culture, as well as safeguarding me from exaggerations and oversimplifications. vi Table of Contents Declaration of Committee .................................................................................................. ii Ethics Statement ............................................................................................................... iii Abstract ............................................................................................................................ iv Dedication ......................................................................................................................... v Acknowledgements .......................................................................................................... vi Table of Contents ............................................................................................................. vii List of Images .................................................................................................................... x Characters in Lulije’s Story .............................................................................................. xi Glossary and pronunciation guide ................................................................................... xiii Pronunciation of some special characters in the Kosovo Albanian dialect .................. xiii Glossary ...................................................................................................................... xiv Preface .......................................................................................................................... xviii Image .............................................................................................................................. xix Chapter 1. Introductions: Kosovo women, Lulije and the author ........................... 1 Research focus ................................................................................................................. 1 Data collection................................................................................................................... 2 Semi-structured interviews ........................................................................................ 3 Group conversations .................................................................................................. 6 Participant observation .............................................................................................. 6 Positionality ....................................................................................................................... 7 Lulije’s story on the edge of fiction .................................................................................... 8 Previous writings ............................................................................................................... 9 An outline of the chapters to follow ................................................................................. 15 Chapter 2. Contextualizing and theorizing Lulije .................................................... 17 The bride’s word (Ep. 1) .................................................................................................. 17 In the context of change .................................................................................................. 20 Current marriage practices .............................................................................................. 22 Framework ...................................................................................................................... 24 The nuse ideal ............................................................................................................. 24 A local way of doing gender and family ....................................................................... 27 The collective dimensions of the nuse practices ......................................................... 29 Bridal material culture .................................................................................................. 33 A nuse’s body committed to enactment ....................................................................... 34 Intermission ................................................................................................................... 37 Rings tied together (Ep. 2) .............................................................................................. 37 Chapter 3. “Who bought you the golden vest, Lulije?” .......................................... 38 Bridal shopping in Prizren (Ep. 3) ................................................................................... 38 Dressed up for a new life ................................................................................................ 40 Getting dressed for henna night (Ep. 4) .......................................................................... 42 vii The bridal gold: meanings and uses ............................................................................... 45 Nuse dress code ............................................................................................................. 49 Heavy, sweaty, tight, delightful ........................................................................................ 52 Blaze of gold and colour .................................................................................................. 54 Intermission ................................................................................................................... 57 The henna night: brother and sister (Ep. 5) .................................................................... 57 Chapter 4. “I will love you as my daughter” ............................................................ 59 The henna ceremony: Lulije bids farewell (Ep. 6) ........................................................... 60 The wedding: Venturing into married life (Ep. 7) ............................................................. 62 The multigenerational household ...................................................................................