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Healing a Broken Heart Healing a Broken Heart www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Healing for a Broken Heart Practical Tips and Workable Wisdom Cindie Chavez www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Healing for a Broken Heart Practical Tips and Workable Wisdom Copyright ©2012 by Cindie Chavez All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. The information, ideas, and suggestions in this book are not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Before following any suggestions contained in this book, you should consult your personal physician or mental health professional. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising as a consequence of your use or application of any information or suggestions in this book. Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author. www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Table of Contents Introduction .................................................................................................................................... 6 Chapter 1 ..........................................................................................................................................7 Why Does This Hurt So Much? ....................................................................................................7 Chapter 2 ......................................................................................................................................... 9 Red Flags? What Red Flags? ....................................................................................................... 9 Chapter 3 ........................................................................................................................................ 10 Ready, Set …Stop........................................................................................................................ 10 Chapter 4 ........................................................................................................................................ 11 Needs vs. Neediness ................................................................................................................... 11 Chapter 5 ........................................................................................................................................ 12 Healing For Your Body ............................................................................................................... 12 Chapter 6 ........................................................................................................................................ 14 Healing For Your Soul & Mind ................................................................................................... 14 Chapter 7 ........................................................................................................................................ 16 Healing For Your Spirit .............................................................................................................. 16 Chapter 8 ....................................................................................................................................... 17 What Next? ................................................................................................................................. 17 www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Introduction The broken heart… it seems to be a pain without sufficient words to describe it. And yet, anyone who has ever experienced a broken heart will understand the pain instantly upon hearing those two words…broken hearted. I, too, have experienced a broken heart, and in fact at one time I resisted becoming a relationship coach because I imagined it would be too painful to deal with broken hearts on a regular basis! In hindsight, that seems silly to me now, because I recognize that when we have the right tools we all have the amazing power to become whole, to heal our broken hearts, and to love again. Although this short offering’s focus is on heartbreak that you may have encountered through a romantic connection, heartbreak can also be the result of any loss deeply felt. In fact, I firmly believe that everything you want is on the other side of your broken heart. Until your heartbreak begins to mend, that emotional pain will pop up repeatedly and get in the way of you being able to experience living your fullest life. So, whatever the root cause associated with your heartbreak, be it romantic or otherwise, this small book of practical tips and workable wisdom when applied with intention will surely help to heal, soothe, and begin the process of mending your broken heart. Once your broken heart heals you will feel free and empowered to live (and love!) fully, again. My wish is for you to experience a complete healing for your broken heart, and the love and magic that will certainly follow. Cindie Chavez www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Chapter 1 Why Does This Hurt So Much? I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. ~FROM THE TELEVISION SHOW THE WONDER YEARS Indeed, heartbreak is painful, and many times when we are suffering the pain of heartbreak those who care about us are at a loss for what to do, what to say, to help. “Cheer up”, they might say, “You’re better off without him!” But that does little to ease the pain and sometimes can leave us feeling that something is wrong with us to be hurting so much. Let’s clear that up right away! Your feelings are valid. You are hurting. And no wonder! Something you’ve been building has just fallen apart! It is completely understandable that you would feel disappointed about this. You had invested yourself in a relationship. Whether it was short term or long term, you were invested, and any investor can tell you that it stings to lose an investment. Chances are you invested time…you spent time together, you spent time doing nice things, learning about each other, talking on the phone, going on dates, and now maybe it all seems like a waste of time. Chances are you invested yourself…you opened up, you got vulnerable, maybe even sharing your deepest hopes, thoughts, dreams, fears and maybe even your secrets with this person, and now you feel embarrassed that someone you opened up to is no longer close enough to know these things. You may feel regret that you allowed yourself to be so open, to trust so much. Chances are you may have invested your body…it takes a measure of vulnerability to share your body with someone, a measure of trust, a bit of bravery, and now…you may be wishing that you never gave such a precious gift to someone who obviously didn’t appreciate it. You may have invested money…maybe you bought gifts, or even helped this person financially and now you feel like you just threw that money away. All of these things are very common occurrences, and all of your feelings are valid. Can you imagine spending your time, money, and your mental and physical energy to build a house with your own two hands and then watching it burn down? Who wouldn’t feel sympathy for you?! And so it is with a broken heart, it is okay to feel sad, angry, disappointed, regretful, confused, hopeless, and any other feeling you may be experiencing. Or maybe your heart is broken because you’ve lost a loved one, a family member, a partner, a friend, or even a pet. www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Maybe you’ve lost something else that you’ve invested your heart and soul in, like a home, a business, your health, or maybe a missed opportunity has left you with an ache in your heart. Perhaps you’ve had a falling out with a friend, a misunderstanding with a loved one and you feel crushed and confused about it. All sorts of experiences can leave us with an ache in our heart. And it is completely normal and natural that these events have produced painful and uncomfortable feelings and emotions. And, although we all want to avoid pain and experience pleasure as much as possible, ALL of your feelings and emotions are valid, and valuable. Now that we’ve established the validity of your feelings I want to mention something important about them. “Your feelings are a miracle.” And your deepest wounds are directly connected to your life purpose. There is always a treasure buried within a painful experience if are willing to see it. Understandably, right now, you might not feel like that could possibly be true. That’s okay. The treasure will surface eventually, when you are ready. The tips and wisdom within these pages may help you to find the treasure. www.cindiechavez.com Healing a Broken Heart Chapter 2 Red Flags? What Red Flags? Almost everyone I’ve ever asked about a past relationship can tell me that looking back they can recognize the exact time when they knew it wouldn’t last, and it is often very soon after the relationship began. We suddenly see all sorts of things we didn’t pay attention to at the time, and yet there they were. Things that didn’t feel right to us, things that we can’t believe we would ever accept, we call those things “red flags”. I once heard someone
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