Take Back The Night Marches in Ann Arbor

BY JOSH BENNINGHOFF a survivor of violence against women." There exists a "continuum of violence HE NIGHT OF SATURDAY, in our rape culture," she said, citing April 18th was not about any statistics that claim that one in three T social issue; it was about women will be sexually assaulted be­ women, for better or for worse. Shortly fore the age of eighteen. after 7:00 p.m., student activist Although she said that no man Brenna De Vaney's introductions com­ should ever be raped, she claimed the menced the Nineteenth Annual "Take American "rape culture" doesn't ac­ Back the Night" march and rally. knowledge the severity of its rape Although the Ann Arbor Coalition statistics. This claim brought forth Against Rape (AACAR) organized this h~r overall slogan, that the "personal event in just over a month, popular is political." She then proceeded to support for this event was apparent condemn TBTN for not addressing in the crowd gathered on the Diag. the racial issues that are inextricably Some came expecting TBTN to spe­ intertwined with the feminist move­ cifically address sexual violence, in­ ment. She asked, "What use are a cluding rape; but the purpose ofTBTN, bunch ofwhite women marching with as stated in their literature distrib­ police escorts?" After remarking how uted at the rally, is to make the fol­ the "most useless thing in the world is lowing proclamation for women: "we a guilty man ... Guilt makes people will be safe, we will be strong and we turn inward. Let's not talk about you. will be free. The TBTN March is a Let's talk about violence against Women rally to Take Back The Night symbol of our collective commitment women," she soon concluded by say­ ~ ..,...... that there will come a day where ing, "I need you all. 1 can't end vio­ women and children will no longer lence against women." need to fear male violence." After her speech, she left the stage U-M Commencement After various announcements, in­ and invited the members of the cluding By Any Means Necessary AACAR to take the stage to announce (BAMN) leader Jessica Curtin's plea their demands. Honorees: Who Are They? for the support of affirmative action, The demands for this year in­ the first of three "entertainment" seg­ cluded, among others: BY LEE BocKHORN students asked, "Who are these ments began. Detroit Police Officer • "that all schools immediately people?" Although widely known and Kalimah Johnson and her poem implement comprehensive interven- S TUDENTSATUNIVERSITY respected in their specific fields, this "Rape" was a detailed account of how tion and support programs regarding commencements are accus- year's speaker and honorees are not rape "bleeds a bloody song into (her) sexual assault and domestic violence. tomed to seeing big-name exactly household names, so let's take ears." The emotion was apparent in • that the media publish rape and speakers. In the past, the University a closer look at these four individuals . her voice and demand that those that domestic violence hotline numbers of Michigan has enjoyed its share of chose to lie on or near the Diag, "get routinely and add domestic violence notable commencement speakers, in- MAMPBELA BAMPHELE up,standup. Standupforyourrights." to the crime map. cluding the likes of President George The first speaker was Sexual As­ • that NO PERSON touch an- Bush, First Lady Hillary Clinton, Dr. Ramphele, vice chancellor of sault and Prevention Awareness Cen­ other pers~m without consent." Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day the University of Capetown in South ter (SAPAC) member Deborah As stated in their brochures, O'Connor, and Pulitzer Prize-winning Africa, was chosen from this year's Frankie. In a positive, emotional TBTN "seek(s) to expose the political novelist Toni Morrison. group of honorary degree recipients speech, Frankie stated, "If there is function of rape in our society - that In contrast, last week's announce- to give the Spring Commencement one thing that people should take is, keeping women terrorized and ment of Dr. Mamphela Ramphele as address at Michigan Stadium. Born with them, it should be the impor­ under the control of men." After the this year's choice for commencent under apartheid to rural schoolteach­ tance of support." U-M alumna final demand was read, men were speaker raised eyebrows on campus. ers, the fifty-year-old Ramphele over­ Carolyn Hammond followed Frankie thanked for their support, but asked Upon hearing the names ofRamp he Ie came long odds to become a physi­ by explaining how seeing the night's not to attend the ensuing march. The and the three other honorary degree cian, social activist, and now th(> h::ad protest made her "feel like a winner." women then left for an hour-long recipients - Edward Said, Richard The second "entertainment" march that included parts of campus" Ford, and Mary Lowe Good - many See COMMENCEMENT, Page 9 group, the Emily Barry Dance Com­ as well as ~owntown.Ann Arbor be- . INSIDE' gun ofconservative thought at both pany, performed an evocative dance f?rere~u:nmgtotheDlagforacandle- • environmentalists and feminists. to celebrate the education and heal­ light VIgil. When asked why men were ing involved in a survivor's life. Fol­ not invited to participate in the march, • SURVIVE THE SUMMER • BENJAMIN KEPPLE QUITS. lowing the dance, AATU co-coordina­ DeVaney explained that "Tonight is WITH E·MAIL. Ben Rousch tells Read Ben's Final installment of tor Melissa Dansforth began by ask­ only about women. That doesn't mean you how to stay connected to the ing that the crowd summon the pow­ Lost In The Eighties TM that men can't be a part of the solu­ Internet. ers of the elements and direction. tion or be there for support, but the Rounding out the speakers was point of tonight is for women to feel • AND LEE BOCKHORN local activist Katie Mattingly. She power and know they don't need any- • C.J. GETS TWO BIRDS ~~ STARTS. Lee Bockhorn starts his . , ~l~med ~hat "every woman I know is. 0lle t

-. '" "'I. '" "" ... '" ... 6 ...... ". ~ • , . .. " , " .. <

...... - .. .. --.-.-...... - .-... -.. -~-.. ------.. ~--.. --,--.."., .. ------~.------2 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW April 22, 1998

TIlE l\IwJlJ(; ..\\' HE\'IE\\,

The campus Affairs Journal of the o SERPENT'S TOOTB University of Michigan Better Living Through Satire™ "Earth Day? Get the steak!"

EDlTOBIAL BOARD

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Benjamin Kepple The University of Michigan was the the "burn your bridges" tactic at the in this venture will visit North Cam­ PUBLISHER: Sang Lee recent focus of a massive April 15 local meeting of President Clinton's pus for a term so they can bloody well MANAGING EDITOR: Lee Bockhom article by The Detroit Free Press with Initiative on Race and blasted it for stand in line for half an hour for a MANAGING EDITOR: C. J. Camacchio regards to our simmering affirmative not appointing an American Indian to measly piece of the same greasy pizza ARTS EDITOR: Kristina Curkovlc action debate and our ever-present that panel. day after day. In the future, we would CAMPUS AFFAIRS EDITOR: Ben Rousch FEATURES EDITOR: Julie Jeschke racial tension. However, even we appreciate it ifyou tre~hugging hip­ weren't expecting the proponents of Reilly claimed in the April 15th Free pie LSA reps would worry about your EDITORIAL STAfF affirmative action to hand us the in­ Press article that "a lot of privileged own damn campus. tellectual battle on a platter like that. white students have a sense of en­ MUSIC EDITOR: Chris Hayes SPORTS EDITOR: Rob Wood One student supporter of affirmative titlement to attend a prestigious uru­ We were jubilant to read Paul CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: Matthew Buckley action, Michael Blair, said: versitylike U-M."However, there was Serilla's final column in the Daily IllUSTRATOR: Astrid Phillips no mention of his privilege of gaining this week - finally, we'll never have "You hear buzz words like 'earn' and free tuition under Michigan law be­ to read that tripe again. In memory, STAFF WRITERS: John Bach, Josh Benninghoff, Craig Garthwaite, Andrew Golding, Jen Guerra, Doug 'hard work' ... It's become an issue of cause he's an Indian. however, here are some choice bits Hilihoule, Amy Majerowicz, Jacob Oslick, Maureen who deserves to be here." from some of his columns: Sirhal. . "We must deal with a lot of stereo­ First off, it's always been an issue of types that we are savages who live in • "Chances are, ifyou are reading this BUSINESS STAFF: Matt Fogarty, who deserves to be here. Secondly, if teepees and don't wear jeans and drive column right now, you are not a happy FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT: Tom Jolliffe (Madrid) words like 'earn' and 'hard work' are cars," Reilly said. A~tually, Joe, per­ camper." (Feb. 27, 1998) now buzzwords, what's next? Grade haps we don't know the same igno­ EDITOR EMERITUS: Geoff Brown Poin t Average? Leadership? Personal rant morons you prQfess to deal with • "Of course, all of these things are The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run Achievement? Heck, why have any every day, but ifyou really think that, true of a new car purchase as well­ journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the Uni· standards at all? you've got a lot of stereotypes about the main difference is, well, used cars versity of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary the evil white man. aren't new." (Mar 27, 1998) donations from the U-M. Contnbutions to the Michigan Review are tax-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the And Mike "Full Moon and Empty Internal ReVenue Code. The Review is not affiUated with Head" Nagrant's quote in the article Fiona Rose won't be the only stu­ • "I am a bass player ... and I know any political party or university poUtical group. Unsigned makes him the winner of the "1998 dent going to Oxford this year-Man­ this is always the most frustrated editorials represent the opinion of !he editorial board. Ergo, Most Clueless Member of MSA" aging Editor C. J. Carnacchio is member of the band." (Feb. 20, .1998'r they are unequlvocably correct and just. Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author award! Nagrant, after escaping from proud to announce that he too will be and not necessarily those of the Review. The opinions handlers and chewing through the living at Oxford -- Oxford Housing, • "I am not just trying to justify the presented in this publication are not necessaruy those of leash held by MSA Vice President that is, along with hundreds of other pertinacious ramblings of many so­ the advertlsers or of the University of Michigan. We wel­ Olga ''Rasputin" Savic, said the students screwed over by University called art enthusiasts who like to come letters, articles, and comments about the journaL campus atmosphere was "alive and Housing this year. Congratulations spend their weekends posing at gal­ Pie lesu Domine, Dona Eis Requiem ... thafs it for Ben­ vital." C.J.! leries as intellectuals. I, for example, jamin Kepple, Edltor-in-Chief - he quit. So now what are am not particularly well-versed in art we going to do? First off, at the very least we won't have to "There are so many demonstrations," Our forebears at the Review came up history or criticism ... " (Mar 20,1998) waste a page running Lost in the Eighties anymore. But Nagrant told the Freep. "The law­ with this little ditty back in 1990. We anyhow, at this point in the game we're definitely consid­ ering going out, getting some charcoal and some high­ suits have really brought people to­ still think it holds true today. So, • "Somehow, I don't think this hap­ quality steaks and grilling that all up, we'll get some shish­ gether around affirmative action." without further ado, here's the theme pens to navel (sic) architects... " (Apr kabobs and have it for Earth Day, right on the Diag - we song for Jim Duderstadt (and by proxy: 10,1998) might very wen be there, so check us out, all ready to go. Yeah, it's really been a fun time around Lee Bollinger, with apologies to The campus, huh, Mike? We're all smging Beatles) - "Hey Dude:" Please address an advertising and subscriptioninquiries • "Everything is political, but after to: Publisher cio the Michigan Review. and clapping around a giant bonfire graduation, I won't be." (Apr 10, 1998) of love, aren't wp? What do affirma­ Editorial And Business Offices: Hey Dude, 911 N. University Avenue, Suite One tive action detractors have to do, set You're so diverse, You can see our "Tribute to Paul Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 ourselves on fire m order to register You'd take a good school, Serilla" on our WWW page: EMAIL: [email protected] on Nagrant's activism screen? And make it worse. http://www.umich.edul-mrev URL: http://www.umich.eduI-mrev/ Remember, when you judge by the Tel. (313) 647-8438 Fax (313) 936-2505 Vice President for Student Suppres­ color of skin, We don't know about the rest of you, Capyrtght 0 , ....All rtghta by ThlIIichIgIn __ RrIlew, Inc. sion, er, Affairs Maureen Hartford And let them in, but we really enjoyed the Cut-n-Paste ThlII/chIgaII R..".., II • member 01l1li CoIIegiItt Network. also told the Free Press, "Does that You lower standards. version of the Independent this week. mean the campus is free of racism and We've never had to actually cut open hate speech or the view that students The engineers on staff would like to the pages before. of color are here because of special thank the self-serving, resum~pack- programs? No ... People are free to say ing, vote-grubbing members of MSA And nominated for the stupidest head- hateful things." First off, since when for successfully removing The Wok line ofthe year in the Daily: "Student . C' ~ . r t-:- II .~~ () 1 11 c1 t eo ...... I the devil has having an anti-affirma­ Express from the Pierpont Commons. Paper Aims for Diversity." What was ",: r ~ : c: U ~', . tive action viewpoint ever been hate­ We no longer have to decide between the article actually about? A former ful? Besides, any student who steps bad pizza or bad Chinese food, since Harvard Crimson writer exposing the The Michigan Review . out ofline here for an instant is kicked you have made the decision for us. We fact that the Harvard Crimson de- Letters to the Editor and battered back into line by N azi­ expect that you will also drive out cided the paper had too many Jews on 911 N. University Ave. esque administrators. Little Caesar's so the University ad- staff, and that it was getting rid of Suite One ministration you suck up to will have many of those Jews in order to make Ann Arbor, MI48109 We'd also like to say we feel sorry for a complete monopoly on what every- room for more "diverse" students. We or email with subject "Letters to poor, oppressed, miserable Joe one living on North Campus has to can only hope this was simply incom- the Editor": [email protected] Reilly. Reilly, an American Indian eat and ho wmuch we have to pay for petence on the part of the Daily and from Kalamazoo, decided to employ it. We hope the MSA reps who helped , . ,not something more sinister.

,,::,-,~""' ='~~M ~~.... ,.,~~...... ,...... _ .. ~.... ____ _ April 22, 1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 3 o SERPENT'S TOOTH Unharmed, Keppl~ Walks From Major Accident

lNmALLy JUBILANT STUDENTS DISMAYED, AMAzED NA SURPRISE DEVELOP­ the completely ment on Tuesday, April 7th, Re­ false and untrue I view Editor BeIijamin Kepple rumors that the walked away unharmed from a major Assistant car accident involving his 1997 Ford Undersecretariat Taurus GL and two very large semi­ for Multicultural A~ • d P C ~ --':'-"~ ' :1 trucks. Many students and adminis­ .n-uaus an .. I ~~ ;n:::: trators at the University were jubi­ Commissar, Dr. lant upon hearing news of the crash, Leon P. Muntz, lit but their joy turned to amazement as a cigar and it came out that Kepple suffered only laughed mania­ a small cut on his knee. The crash, cally in his office which essentially destroyed Kepple's upon hearing car and did virtually no damage to news. " both trucks, summoned over a dozen Some students emergency vehicles and closed east­ used the opportu­ bound 1-94 for close to an hour. nity opened by Kepple, who had been driving at Kepple's accident. approximately 60 miles per hour in to criticize the Re­ the left lane ofI-94 in Dearborn, was view, which is seen forced to swerve around a huge piece by some as reac­ of truck tire retread, which caused tionary and insen­ him to lose control of his car. His car sitive. swerved into the center lane, back "'Th.e Review is into the left, then back into the center not conducive to a lane, at which point the right rear nice atmosphere tx-t:dltor Benjamin K~ stands with his Ex-Car. part of Kepple's car struck a semi­ here at Michigan," said MSA Repre­ truck. This tap caused Kepple's car to sentative and Environmental Issues swerve into the right lane, facingtraf­ Commission Chair Emily Strauss. "In Farewell to The Michigan Review's­ fic, at which point Kepple's car was 1997, over 9.3 billion animals were Graduating Seniors struck head-on by a car carrier travel­ killed for food." ing between 55 and 60 miles per hour. In a response, Managing Editors Benjamin Kepple, editor-in-chief, is graduating with a B.A. in History; No citation was issued by the Michi­ Lee Bockhorn and Chris Carnacchio We're still' amazed that 4e got an actual, paying job with a liberal arts gan State Police. announced they would eat steak ev­ degree. Still, if the job doesn't work out, he can always fall back on According to one in-state Univer­ ery night for a week and continue the professional gambling or stuntdriving. Having tormented the U-M·ad­ sity student, this was the "coolest" Review's practice of using rare condor ministration for 4 years at the Review, Ben's last official act of defiance accident-to happen in the Metro De­ blood for blue ink and banner color­ will be to streak naked at Commencement while holding aloft an Ameri­ troit area since 1995, when an oil ing. Carnacchio reportedly suffered a can flag and shouting"Live Free Or Die!" tanker exploded in a collision on the 1- head iIijury after Strauss beat him 75/1-94 junction, taking six other ve­ furiously over the head with a pine­ hicles with it. tree sapling, shouting, "Use mass tran­ However, LSA fifth-year senior sit! Use mass transit!" incessantly. KristinaCurkovic, arts editor, is graduatingwithaB.A. in English and Oliver Merriam sharply disagreed. Kepple gleefully declared, "I am Linguistics. Kristina has brought culture and taste to an otherwise "I mean, you'd think he'd have invincible!" after climbing free from depraved and psychotic editorial board, and plays a mighty fine tuba to some kind of life-altering iIijury. I the wreckage of his vehicle. He was boot. She is heading off to law school, where she will try to do the same mean, he's Editor of the Review. He last seen in Belize organizing a coup for a community of vile, slimy future litigators. (Good luck with that!) isn't very agreeable. He deserves to d'etat in order to have the Central have his fibula and tibia atleast bent." American nation remade into a Brit­ Other students also concurred. ish protectorate. Mt Maureen Sirhal, staff writer, is graduating with a B.A. in Political "Kepple is the ugly, fat, neo-con­ Science arid English. When not contributing stellar articles to the servative bastard child of all that is Review, Maureen could be found arguing with Buckley or Evan abou.t evil," said LSA Senior Saul Guerilla. Going away for the summer? whether Starbucks is bent on world domination. The Review plans on "Unlike political scientists like my­ Worried about FOUR MONTHS trading the rights to Maureen to the Heritage Foundation's Policy self, Kepple is presumptuous and ar­ away from The Michigan Review! Review for a laser printer. rogant for insinuating that normal people can have an opinion of their Ahhhhhh! very own. After all, I spent three en­ Congratulations on surviving the liberal tire years on my political science B.A." Check out the Review online Assistant Associate Deputy for this summer for periodic updates cesspool otherwise known as U of M, and University Relations Mitchell van Rijn and information about U-M! noted, "'Th.e University does admit to good luck in the future! Now go make a lot denying alleging that Mr. Kepple was Keep informed this summer! of money, and send it all back to us! a ... well, I can't say that on the air ... http://www.umich.edul-mrev are we on the air? ... Right. Anyhow, the University alS(t wishes to deny

: .\ ;, , . . .., ,, It" '. "'...... " 0 , " '._ .. _ . , '. '_ .. . . " • \ .' - ' . , " ~ " '. 4 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW April 22, 1998

FROM SUITE ONE o 1 _/1

Speaker Choice Uninspired ~··~ ()~~~ l tC . o ...... L~-.""" §. ~ al HE UNIVERSITY HAS HAD A VERY EXCITING AND PRIDE­ '< inspiring year. In 1997- 1998 the U-M has seen two national S. WARNING : The President has so determined that not buying cigarettes T championships and other major successes in athletics, a championship Cl> in college bowl, a Rhodes Scholar, a successful Year ofthe Arts and Humanities, is harmful to his budget projections . the successful completion of a one billion dollar fund~raising campaign, and the usual academic success that the University is accustomed to, with its tine faculty and researchers. In addition, the University has always had a tremendous reputation as one of the tinest uni'lersities in the nation, a leader in scientific and academic achievements, its graduate schools consistently rariking among the best in the country. Yet for commencement, the most important day for our university's graduates, the school books a little-known speaker whose name and words are as unfamiliar to U students as are those of a Daily editorialist. This year's choice for spring commencement speaker, Mamphela Ramphele, is a disappointment for many U-M graduates and their families. The announcement of last year's speaker, newly appointed U- M president Lee Bollinger, was unsurprising and unexciting; the University and its seniors were hoping that the following year's speaker would be a more well-known and popular national figure. Graduation is a time not only of solemn reflection and celebration, but a tinal chance for seniors to take advantage of the prestige of the University and take pride that their school can present them with a tinal parting gift of sorts - the opportunity to see an important, widely-known o COMMENTARY figure speak for their own benefit. Although she is prestigious in her own right, the speaker's reach is limited and few U-M students recognize her name or importance. Her choice as speaker ' celebrates not the University's prestige and pride, nor its recent successes and Budget Up in Smoke popularity. Instead, this year's commencement speaker seems to call out toward an audience whose worries over recent affirmative action lawsuits must HEN THE NATION'S BIGGEST TOBACCO COMPANIES, PHILIP be appeased. This year's speaker speaks not to the graduates who do not know Morris and RJR Nabisco (the "Big Two"), pulled out of the national her, but to an administration that needs to show the world a sign ofits mindless W tobacco settlement, they missoomaking the announcement on April commitment to what it calls "diversity." Fool's Day by two days. For those who enjoy irony, it was a shame, since the It has been a long while since the University has booked a spring collapse of this deal splashes egg on a lot offoolish faces. commencement speaker who sparked any excitement among graduates and Little, if anything, was "small" about the settlement. Cigarette their families. During the past four years (excluding last year's Bollinger), manufacturers would have paid nearly $370 billion over the next 25 years, University spring commencement speakers have looked quite similar: this including $50 billion alone in punitive damages. It involved big changes in year, an African woman educator; in 1996, an African-American woman tobacco advertising - no more billboards, no more human images, and huge president of Spellman College, and in 1995 an African-American woman, head restrictions on "pomtofpurchase" advertising. The tobacco companies got a bit of the Children's Defense Fund. We must question whether the U-M is selecting of largesse themselves: immunity from future class-action lawsuits for their speakers who will impress the audience, or sending a message that the U-M past deeds. wants everyone else to hear. The deal blew up when the Senate Commerce Committee proposed their Looking at other schools around the country, we should follow their lead own "settlement," striking out the tobacco company class-action immunity, and invite speakers whose are renowned and recognized by students. The and increasing the monetary penalties. Realistically, this was a bill the tobacco University of Pennsylvania has had speakers like Bill Cosby, Tom Brokaw, companies had to reject; $510 billion would have been a lot to pay for class­ Jane Alexander, Henry Cisneros, Hillary Clinton and Barbara Bush since action immunity, period, and it would be loony to foot that bill without the 1990. Last year, the College of William and Mary had the honor of hosting class-action suit immunity. Margaret Thatcher, and MIT had an amusing address from Kurt Vonnegut. The desired changes in tobacco advertising raised significant First Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will addl-ess this year's graduates Amendment concerns. Getting those legal worries aside was important to the at Northwestern. Our own Schools of Medicine and Engineering have the settlement in another aspect: it would have allowed more attention for the opportunity this spring to listen to the Surgeon General and head of NASA. Yet, crucial question of class-action lawsuit immunity. Now the government will the U-M as a whole has failed in recent years to supply its graduates with face two potential derailing legal issues, rather than one. speakers worthy of their time and investment in their school. Why should we, Big Tobacco's walk from the table may have cost them, as well. Several students of one of the greatest collegiate traditions in the U.S., look with envy investment firms have downgraded their assessments of The Big Two, claiming upon any other school? that the potential penalties of the new bill are far too much risk to bear. Worse Granted, the U-M's policy regarding speakers seems to be this: to chose not yet, stockholders have decided that walking away was distinctly unprofitable. a general speaker, but to ask one of the already-selected honorary degree Stock prices for the Big Two are down around 5% since the announcement, recipients to speak. This has led to virtually unknown speakers and graduation despite a pair ofsignificant tobacco company victories in courts in recent weeks. ceremonies that many graduates are reluctant to attend. This is an obvious The important issue in this whole hullabaloo is the federal budget. The problem: graduates know that individual recognition is impossible at the large­ nation's current fiscal budget passed Congress with a forecasted surplus - but scale event. The day that is supposed to be about them and their accomplishments not without a big chunk of revenue from a tobacco settlement. At the time, has become instead a day for the University to again bombard us with its Clinton's move to include these settlement funds in the budget plan was lauded unceasing ideals and messages. If our graduates are unable to receive the as a political masterstroke. The move put Republicans in a quandary - ifthey special recognition that they deserve, the school at least owes them a memorable stood in favor of "Big Tobacco," they would be blasted for tanking any shot of a commencement with a renowned, recognizable speaker. A change of policy balanced budget. Machiavelli himself would have blushed. might be necessary; a change in ideas and dogmas might be necessary, too. As Yet now, the tobacco settlement is wrecked, and if Machiavelli wasn't 1996 MSA President Flint Wainess said two years ago to the Daily, the impressed before, he certainly should be now":"'" for now, we have no settlement, commencement speech "should both draw attention to the University of or hope of a timely reconciliation. We also have no balanced budget - another Michigan and serve as food for thought for graduates; [This year's speaker] Clinton promise. And where is the media coverage of the failed balanced budget might meet one of those stipulations, but she doesn't meet both." The same plan? Nowhere to be found. Apparently, it isn't failing to balance the budget if ye~ ho\ds _true. _~ this year. Hopefully, next both stipulations will be met. Ml. . the preSS never covers it. Ml. - Matthew Buckley -- - - _ . .. . ______...... _ _ ...... _ ,_ ..l" ' ...... ""

. :-.::::'-=-=:;:-:;;';• .: ~--:-:-~- ' - ' -' ~ ~"- - Aeri122, 1998 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW 5 o LoST IN THE EIGHTIESTM

It's Not Your Father's'II, Farewell Column ~ ,,,,,f~\'

BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE think Winling has the IQ of a hand­ presented in a calm manner (again, Mal,clothesonthefloorarenotstair- ball dipped in liquid nitrogen. How­ see Connedy.) cases for roaches; all my intern friends LL RIGHT, LISTEN CLOSE. ever, this does not mean that anyone It's pretty obvious that protesting at NJC, especially the 632 Constitu- I'm not going to stand here on this campus has the right to stifle doesn'twork,andthatinToday'sNew tion crowd: Greg (see you in Vegas, A and wax poetic about the won­ his freedom of speech. World, we have to convince our oppo- October, Horseshoe Club, 100x odds, ders ofworking at the Review, nor am Unless, of course, you're Olga nents using rational and intellectual roll the diceD, John, Simon, Matt, I going to (or would, believe me) com­ Savic. Now, on the March 31st meet­ means. This is not 1968. We are not Mike (you can't even pass!), Derrick plain, a la the Daily Arts staff, how ing of the MSA, where "debate" took beingsentofftowarhere--thereisno (you got a Pulliam, soon a Pulitzer?), much I hate living in Michigan and place in the hallowed chambers of reason to protest. When I protested and even Alex, who stole my urn- how much I will enjoy spitting in the this penny-ante pre-lawyers club, the the Code back in 1995 and marched brelladuringoneofthosehumiddown- faces of Michiganders everywhere Daily reported that Olga "In Student into the Fleming building, I did 80 pours -- thanks for everything, guys. when I graduate, given that this is my Government Forever" Savic "choked because I thought it would actually I couldn't have done an this without final column. You deserve much bet­ back tears" as she said the Assembly help. How wrong I was. What we you. ter than that for bearing with me the should stand strong against racism should have done was to work at The Additional thanks (and an apol- past two and a half years - ye Gods and not hide behind the "mantra" of New Propaganda Battle: inform ogy) to Jesse, who wanted to step in - that I've written Lost In The Eight­ free speech. alumni and work on a media blitz -- when I wouldn't let him (keep up the iesN , and as usual, I'm going to heap Well, gosh, I'm touched. Guilt is not rant and rave and take over the guitar, kid, you'll make it); on the vitriol for one last, sweet col­ weUingup from within! My hardened, Fleming building. Maryanne, who quoted me and umn. The University of Michigan is a conservative heart is cracking! We've • JOURNALISM. It is the job of quoted me fairly; Jeff Muir, the old- great school. I'll probably never look got to stop hiding behind free speech the media to objectively present news school Review columnist; Jeff, I tried; fondly upon my actual schooling here, and stamp out racism! Pull out the and information, and I've tried my my extended family for their sup- but it is a great place to go to college. human weeds who still think this way best to make sure that our hard news port of John's crazy son and their After all, it allowed me to get involved and stomp on them and squirt them pieces in the Review were informative excitement when I got on NewsHour; with the Review, which has allowed with weed poisons! The Constitution? and objective. I think that is why James Miller for making the Daily me to make a lot of friends and meet Oh ... well, we'll just ignore that! We've many liberal readers read us: not just readable at least one day out of the - a lot of interesting and fun people I got to stamp out racism! It lurks ev­ because they're infuriated by our week; Affirmative action oppo- hope to keep in touch with. But before erywhere, you know! EVERY­ views, but because they want to know nents for standing strong against af- I go, here are some parting shots re­ WHERE! Look! Those people over what is going on. firmative action proponents who garding: there are against affirmative action! It is the job of the editorialist to were screaming mad: both groups • THE MICIDGAN STUDENT They must be racist! We must regu­ make his point in a clear and effective __ made great copy for me and 100 other ASSEMBLY: late their speech and tear off their manner, using every scrap of fact and' journalists; my car, for being a run- Ifthere was a way to fund student limbs and turn their skills into drink­ wit at his disposal. It is his job to ning gag, even in death; and last but groups without this bloated cadaver ing goblets! No, wait! THERE ARE make the facts that he wants known certainly not least, thanks to all the of inefficiency, I'd take it. Over the CONSERVATIVES OVER THERE! to be known. That's why people on readerswhoreadandlaughedlcriedl past four years, I've seen the medio­ QUICK! CENSURE! SMITE! PER­ campus read us as well. To wrap up: fumedlwrote angry letterslthreatened cre ofthe earth pass through the cham­ SECUTE! everyone on campus reads the Daily. me. Every minute was worth it. ber doors ofthat hideous psuedo-body The last thing we need is for the The informed student reads both the politic. Sure, there have been some Michigan Student Assembly to at­ Daily and the Review. Laborare est orare. misguided idealists and disgruntled tempt regulating anything, much less To work is to pray. politicos that make it in, but they our Rights As Guaranteed By The And as a final note: generally get disgusted and quit after Constitution. Oderint, dum metuant. a while. But who could blame them? • PROTESTING. Conservative A heartfelt thanks to Jim, Let them hate me, provided After all, it turns the stomach to see journalist M. Stanton Evans once re- Mohan, and Geoff for being great they fear me. supposedly adult human beings act­ marked that there was one great lib- Editors to work with; Aaron for the ing important when they are sham eral solution: "Have a Problem? Hold Publisher's training and Sang for officers working for a sham govern­ a Rock Concert!" It doesn't do much of taking on the job; Lee and Chris for GLEEFUL THAT BENJAMIN ment with enough power to swat a fly anything to actually help, but it makes being great Managing Editors (Evan KEPPLE WILL NO LONGER BE if the Administration lets them. It is everyone involved feel important and and Matt for bearing with me); Kris- AROUND TO TORMENTYOUWITH even more nauseating when you see people generally soothe their con- tina and Tom for civilizing the rest of HIS SICK, EVIL COLUMNS?! some ofthe measures they have passed sciences that way. Witness Evans' us with the Arts section; Ben for Ye or attempted to pass. dictum in action with the Coalition to Olde Awesome WWWpage;Momand Don't party down just yet. For example, the recent flap over Defend Affirmative Action By Any Dad for the support and love only MSAcampaign posters. Unless you're Means Necessary (BAMN). Have a parents could give; Eric and Dave READC.J. CARNACCHIO-theman not on e-mail or don't read the Daily, Problem? Hold a Protest! Uh oh! Is for being the Editor's Sounding Board; who criticized the homeless on Thanks­ you all know the story. LSA Sopho­ Ward Connerly coming to speak? In- Simon for being there through thick giving - every issue of the Review next year in his column, "Send Law­ more (in more ways than one) Dale stead ofengaging in rational dialogue and thin; Jamie and Gonzo for put- yers, Guns, and Money ... " Winling runs for MBA and exacer­ intended to further explore the rami- ting up with me; all the Review bates racial tension because his ver­ ficatipns of affirmative action and its editors who've helped with The Cause REAl) LEE BOCKHORN - the man sion of racially charged humor, as he consequences, BAMN will scream and even up to today -- especially John J. who protects Western culture from calls it, isn't that funny to a large chant incoherently for the better part Miller, Steve Angelotti, and Bryan the likes ofSafetygirl-every issue of number of students. Personally, I of an hor in order to shout down any- Jendryka-yeGods,nowI'maformer the Review next year in his column, one who dares step out of line with editor too; all the great folks at the "Lanterns & Lances." Benjamin Kepple i8. or rather, was, their feeble-minded, childish ranting. Collegiate Network who were in- The Mi~an Review. Editor-in-Chief of the Review. After You can watch as their overtaxed crediblyhelpfulandnevercomplained We're like the mythical hydra: graduation, he will be working in Lo8 brains, clogged with the babblings of once about dealing with me over three Angeles, California injoumalism. No socialism and the products ofintellec- years: Tony, Thor, Christina, and Chop oft' one head. more cold wintertl! No more cold win­ tual madmen, miserably attempt to especially Stan; the National Jour- Two more replace it. tertiI No more cold wintertl! Yes! Yes/ counter the well-reasoned, rational nali8m Cen_, which had faith and

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------.-~---- 6 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW April 22, 1998 o SEND LAWYERS, GUNS, & MONEY... Earth Day &",Eco-totalitarians

BY C.J. CARNAccmo vironmentalists disparage property Unfortunately this is exactly what saying, "I think ifwe don't overthrow rights as a defense of materialism has happened to the regulatory arm capitalism, we don't have a chance of ELL, ONCE AGAIN ITS and greed. But, their attack on prop­ of the State, the Bureaucracy. It has saving the world ecologically. I think time for everybody's favor­ erty rights is really an attack on indi­ become the unofficial fourth branch it is possible to have an ecologically W ite leftist/statist holiday, vidual liberty. ofgovernment; unelected and account­ sound society under socialism. I don't Earth Day. Time for all those neo­ One of the foremost precepts of able to virtually no one. The powers of think it's possible under capitalism." hippies, Marxists, and general liberal natural law is man's right to the pos­ the executive, legislative, and judi­ Judy, do you remember the ecological do-gooders to strap on their session and use of his property. Both cial branches have all been concen­ disasters of the Soviet Union and Birkenstocks and do their best Jeffersonian and Lockean political trated in the Bureaucracy. The Bu­ Eastern Europe? Chicken Little impressions. This is a thought agree that the surest way for reaucracy is allowed to function as a According to political writer David particularly special Earth Day, since the State to erode its citizens' liberty lawmaker and in cases involving its Horowitz, in order to achieve the eco­ it is taking place in the shadow of the is to control their property. Separate own regulations, it even serves as logical balance the radical environ­ University's Environmental Brain­ property from private ownership, and both judge andjury. Presidents, Con­ mentalists advocate it would be nec­ washing Semester. Today, all those the State becomes master of all. gressmen, Senators, and Supreme essary to progressively narrow "the little School ofNatural Resources and The Southern Agrarian philoso- Court justices may come and go, but gap to reduce the difference between Environment eco-stormtroopers will the Bureaucracy remains entrenched the Earth's wealthiest and poorest be out in full force preaching the com­ The environmental and all powerful. inhabitants" until there are "more or ing of an environmental apocalypse. It is through the bureaucratic less equal shares for all people." The For all the eco-wackos' rhetoric movment is merely rogue elephant the Environmental proletariats' political potential fell about global warming, deforestation, Protection Agency (EPA) that the en­ short of the Marxists' expectations so and endangered slugs, they never a political Trojan vironmentalists have had the great­ now they have moved on to being the seem to mention the consequences of horse by which the est success in implementing their ty­ vanguard ofdolphins and trees. When the Green ideology. The true agenda rannical agenda. In 1974, Irving building a dictatorial politica1 move­ ofthe environmentalist movement is Left can further Kristol correctly predicted the extent ment it is always good to represent an the decimation of individual liberty ofthe EPA's power today: "Ifthe EPA's element that cannot think or speak; it and the aggrandizement of State subordinate the in­ concept of mission is permitted to cuts down on disagreements. power. The environmental movement stand, it will be the single most pow­ In attacking the free market, the is merely a political Trojan horse by dividual to the erful branch of the government, hav­ environmentalists are looking to strip which the Left can further subordi­ ing far greater control over our indi­ people of not only their economic lib­ nate the individual to the State. Let's State. vidual lives than Congress, or the . erty but also their political liberty, for ~".",--",,,,," look at what the eco-totalitarians are pher Richard Weaver believed that - the two intimately linked. As econo­ really after. the right of private property must be Essentially, the en­ mist Milton Friedman pointed out, Property Rights: Under the defended as "the last metaphysical "[AJ society which is socialist can­ guise of defending the environment, right remaining to us." He declared vironmentalists are not also be democratic, in the sense the imperial Congress has been able private property to be one of the last ofguaranteeing individual freedom to enact laws which allow govern­ places citizens can truly find refuge really Marxian so­ ... The kind of economic organjza­ ment officials to confiscate private from the encroaching State and tion that provides economic free­ property, prevent landowners from warned of the tyranny of the "proper­ cialists in a tree­ dom directly, namely competitive using their property as the owner tyless bureaucrat." Political thinker capitalism, also promotes political sees fit, levy fines of up to $25,000 a Paul Elmer More defends property hugging disguise. freedom because it separates eco­ day for landowners who do not com­ rights proclaiming, "Security ofprop­ nomic power from political power ply with their regulations, and even erty is the first and all-essential duty Executive, or state, or local govern­ and in this way enables the one to jail landowners who use their prop­ of civilized community ... To the civi­ ment." offset the other." In the environ­ erty for any other purpose than that lized man the rights of property are The EPA is currently allowed to mentalists' so-called crusade to which the State has dictated. more important than the right to life." confiscate and regulate private prop­ save the planet, their drive to en­ As Dixie Lee Ray wrote in her Private property is so intimately erty, saddle businesses with overbear­ slave the world economically will brilliant book Environmental Over­ linked with individual liberty that ing and costly regulations, and im­ ultimately lead to political enslave­ kill. "With the stroke of a pen, a the Founding Fathers found it neces­ pose its will on state and local units of ment as well. bureaucrat can declare private prop­ sary to incorporate its protection into government. No one dares question In the end, the environmental­ erty to be a wetland, the habitat for a the Bill of Rights under the Fifth its dictates or the legitimacy of its ists' agenda will lead to death of protected species, or a possible roost­ Amendment: "No person shall ... be authority. When a government agency liberty and the rise of an ecologi­ ing place for a passing migratory bird, deprived of life, liberty, or property, is allowed to possess so much un­ cally based totalitarian society. The and the landowner can be prevented without due process oflaw; nor shall checked power, the liberty ofa nation's environmentalists' may say that by law from doing anything with his private property be taken for public citizens will become the true endan­ theirs is a noble crusade to save the land, other than continue to pay taxes use without just compensation." So, gered species. planet, but let us not forget that the on it. The landowner has no recourse when the environmentalists attack Economic Liberty: Essentially, road to Hell is paved with good - save at enormous personal expense private property rights in their Cap­ the environmentalists are really intentions. l\R - to sue the government." tain Planet crusading, they are really Marxian socialists in a tree-hugging What better way to control looking to strip the individual of his disguise. Environmental protection Have Fun With Earth Day! someone's property, and ultimately liberty and enslave him to the State. has become the new weapon of choice Order The Michigan Review's people themselves, than to subordi­ Bureaucratic Tyranny: Under with which to attack free market capi­ nate one's private property rights to the Constitution, the preservation of talism. The environmentalists'hatred "EAT YOUR PET lofty environmental concerns. The en- freedom requires the dispersal and of private property, the free market, distribution ofpolitical i>owerthrough and the upper classes are all deriva­ COOKBOOK" C.J. Camacchio is the Managing Edi­ a system of checks and balances. It is tives of the Marxist ideology. tor of the Review. He would like to set essential that no one branch of the Judy Bari, a representative of Over 1000 recipes for dog, cat, fire to that giant environmentalscuip­ federal government becQme more radical eco-terrorist group Earth gerbil, and more! ture near the Diag and roast SNRE powerful than the others or usurp the First! was quoted in a June 25, 1992 Fint 25 orders eel rabbit-on•• ·.pit - ready to rout! stu~nts over it. powers of the other branches. : ~~(~:e' .... ,;,.~ ~}~:. ';V..,.. ."r~'"!rt') :1; ~I~'f';' .. ,t,5,~.( ). ,\~01~e~~~~I.l~~1st .%re~~);Y¥l~ffl~Y ;ih "'\ .'e-.'! \ ,"~ "",¥,

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BY LEE BOCKBORN lucky progeny will have, with mom's and you will see what I mean.) aim for everyone to "get off' in as friendSafetygirlmakingfrequentvis- Safetygirl teUs us that the moti­ sterile and "safe" a manner as pos­ PRING HAS FINALLY AR­ ,------., vation for sible, denies that human sexuality rived in fits and. starts here in her televi­ has any spiritual or emotional ele­ S Ann Arbor, .and the masses sion show ments which might make it more than have taken to the streets in sweats com e s the moral equivalent of two dogs and sneakers, lookiAg to shed a few from her humping behind a bam. What is even pounds before summer breezes into own mis­ more aggravating to those with some town. Watching the throngs go forth takes in residual sense of decorum and de­ to jog or rollerblade, one sees a dem­ the realm cency, is that the same types of people onstration of one of modem man's of sex. Be­ who always whine that "government telling traits: as we become less con­ cause she has no place in the bedroom," "what cerned about the trash that goes into was "na­ consenting adults do in private is their our brains (Jerry Springer et al), we ive," she own business," etc., are often the same attempt to compensate by becoming became cretins who fight to parade their per­ extra-vigilant about our bodies. Wit­ pregnant version for all to endure in non-pri­ ness the recent uproar over tobacco, at the age vate forums like public access televi­ the scores of infomercials for "bun of 16 (and sion. and thigh sculptors," and our an­ acquired a Back to the wonderful, tolerant guished realization that every item sexually and enlightened residents of Ann Ar~ on the grocery store shelf is proven to transmit­ .bor. Ai; they begin their maniacal jog­ cause everything from baldness to ted disease ging and calorie-counting this spring, diarrhea. from her at least something good can be said Ann Arbor's citizenry proves the. boyfriend for their fanatical obsession with point. Ai; the town sprints over to in the pro­ physical health: all of that exercise Jerusalem Garden for the requisite cess), and keeps them away from their TV s.1E)t's healthy, organic vegetarian fare, it nearly hope that Ann Arborites soon go on a has also voted overwhelmingly to mlscar- crash diet from junk food television choose "Get Curious With Safetygirl" L..-----S-afety-g-lrI-;-Th-I-S-de-fl-n-lte-ly-l-sn-'t-w.-'-yne-'s-w.-'orl-d------" ried. AtlP­ like the sludge served up by as the "Best Community Access TV paren, Y-r-"" "Safetygirl." Mt show" in Current magazine's 1998 its.) While describing one such "stimu­ the lesson Safetygirlleamed from this "Best ofAnn Arbor" poll. Mr. Springer lation" technique, Safetygirl pro­ experience was not that sexual activ­ and his daytime cohorts have nothing claimed that the last time someone ity should only be engaged in by those The Michigan Review used on our friend Safetygirl, as you shall used it on her, she "was a river of who are aware of the possibly serious to lie dormant for four see. honey." physical and emotional consequences, months every year. And for "Safetygirl" is the nom de plume After a few minutes, vaginal but instead that one must merely "be the politically correct ma­ of one Tanya Brown, a local resident stimulation got old, so Safetygirl pro­ safe" in the neverending pursuit of, in who tells us that her mission as ceeded to ask Eve how pregnancy had her eloquent formulation, "getting off." vens ofinjustice that inhab­ Safetygirl is to "inform, educate, and affected her sex life, and what "posi­ And so, inspired by her personal ited the murky corners of more than anything else, entertain" tions" worked best for an expectant struggle, Miss Brown created "Get the University of Michigan us sexually repressed folks as she mother. To help demonstrate, Curious with Safetygirl," of which a campus, it was pleasing to presents her "unique, no-nonsense Safetygirl brought out her pet dildo, sampling of episodes includes the fol­ look at the Review office and approach to sexuality." Ofcourse, this named "Suzy" (I'm not kidding), and lowing titles: "Vulva Blues, Vulva is community access television, so joined Eve in a graphic display of News, Vulva and You," "I'm a Happy the deserted workstations Miss Brown makes a lame attempt to Eve's preferred positions. The show Orgasmic Middle Aged Woman," "At and the abandoned shore. characterize her program as "educa­ concluded with a discussion of vari­ The Movies: Porn and Erotica Re­ tional" ("Get Curious ... " is a "safe sex" ous role-playing scenarios for sex ("act­ view," and "Discussion with Attorney BUT NO LONGER! program), lest she be accused by puri­ ing like animals" was "Faith's" choice), Geoffrey Feiger" (better known as the tanical busybodys like myself of and with Safetygirl's admonition for legal apologist for that noble soul, Dr. The Michigan Review's merely peddling smut on loCal TV. us to "be free and safe!" Jack Kervorkian). We learn all these And what sorts of "educational" top­ I happened to run across "Get things about Safetygirl on the inevi­ SUMMER ics are covered on "Get Curious?" One Curious" for the first time a few weeks table "Safetygirl" Website, of course. recent, and representative, episode ago while channel surfing; I check (Safetygirl is thoroughly modem, not ON-LINE featured four women discussingvari­ local channels 8 and 9 in the evenings only in her morals, but also in her EDITION ous techniques for "vaginal stimula­ because they often play terrific jazz means of conveying them to others.) tion." Safetygirl and friends proceeded and big band music while the comput­ What is striking about Safetygirl IS COMING! to demonstrate these techniques for erized "Community Bulletin Board" and her friends is their utter coarse­ the audience with the help of "Eve," is on the screen. Needless to say, I was ness; their lack of any sense of the Check out our WWW site: who was wearing a strap-on replica of a little surprised to discoverSafetygirl. non-physical aspect of the human http://www.um.ich.edul female genitalia, and who also hap­ The first reaction one has while watch­ sexual experience. One wonders if -mrev pened to be pregnant. (One can only ing the show (before revulsion sets in) these crude persons are capable of this summer. imagine who the father is, or what is to laugh; it is hard not to chuckle at anything resembling a truly loving sort of enlightening home life Eve's a group of women who would meet and passionate relationship; where The Michigan Review. any reasonable .definition of "white sex is not just a romp in the hay, but Because the Fleming Buil

BY C.J. CARNAccmo rassment is a kind of rape. Ifwe refer even stated that sexual assault vic- stated a statistic, such as "one in four to a spectrum of behavior from emo­ tims and perpetrators can be either college women are the victims of ET'S SKIP THE FLOWERY tional pressure to sex~al harassment gender. In their program they de- sexual assault," she said "but we know introduction and the usual lead as rape, then the idea itself gets di­ clared, "[R] ape must be a community those numbers are higher." Again L into the article and get straight luted." Some rape-crisis feminists like issue." there has to be a corresponding num- to the point: the Take Back The Night the U-M Law School's very own Despite this tidy little bit of pub- ber of men doing the assaulting. Her (TBTN) March is not about combat­ Catherine MacKinnon would have us lic relations tripe, much ofthe evening remarks implied in a roundabout way, ing the criminal act of rape by taking believe that all sex is rape: "[TJ he took on a decidedly anti-male, mili- that all men are potential rapists and substantive measures to make the major distinction between intercourse tant feminist tone. First of all, only cannot be trusted. streets safer or dolling out harsher (normal) and rape (abnormal) is that women were allowed to participate in The event program also stated sentences to rapists and other sex the normal happens so often that one the march itself. This automatically that "Every single woman in our com- offenders. The march is about using cannot get anyone to see anything defeats the notion of rape being a munity must live in constant fear of rape as a political vehicle to advance wrong with it." community issue. Excluding men from sexual assault ... We are not safe on a radical feminist and anti-male The rape-crisis feminists are also the march perpetuates the idea that the streets; we are not safe in our agenda. The organizers of this sham obsessed with this politically correct all men are predators and rapists. homes." Again, this promotes the idea event should be ashamed of them­ notion of sex. Roiphe explains that for Community problems cannot be solved that men, be they strangers, family, selves for politicizing rape. They not these feminists the idea of consent by excluding half of the community. or friends, are out to get women. only demean the women who have has gone beyond the simple "no means Early feminists argued that you can- Women are prey being stalked by been victimized, they also trivialize no." These feminists believe there not claim a nation to be free and predatory males constantly looking the act ofrape itself. must be a clear verbal, and in some democratic when half of its popula- to assault them. In saying that no In her book The Morning After: cases written, consent (a yes!) other­ tion does not vote. Well, by the same woman is safe and that every woman Sex, Fear, and Feminism on Campus, wise it is rape. Roiphe sees this as token, rape-crisis feminists cannot must live in constant fear of sexual neo-feminist Katie Roiphe summed demeaning to women: "The idea that declare rape to be a community issue assault no matter where she is, the up the march perfectly when she only an explicit yes means yes pro­ (and expect community action) when rape-crisis feminists are implying that wrote, "Take Back The Night is an poses that women, like children, have they exclude men from their march. no man, no matter who he is or how umbrella march covering fear in gen­ trouble communicating what they This goobbledygook about women's long a woman has known him, can be eral, frustration in general, and the want ... Beyond its dubious premises solidarity as the reason for male trusted. The message is that all men belief that men are out to get women." about the limits offemale communi­ exclusion is a cosmetic political ploy are rapists or potential rapists. Her book critiques the false notion of cation, the idea of active consent bol­ to cover up the divisive nature of the Another problem with the TBTN a "rape epidemic" and the rise ofwhat sters the stereotypes of men just out march. We should not be striving fo,!>_ March is this idea that women do not she terms "rape-crisis feminism." to 'get some' and women who don't female solidarity or male solidarity, have the freedom to walk around at Roiphe sees these rape-crisis femi­ really want any." we should be striving for human soli- night because they must live in con- nists as using rape as a political tool Roiphe also criticizes the march's darity. stant fear and that men are the only to gain authority and stifle opposing portrayal of women as helpless, infe­ Furthermore, in the program, the ones who have this freedom. The idea viewpoints: "Rape is a natural trump rior victims as opposed to the tradi­ organizers stated that, "We seek to that men are safe and women are not card for feminism. Arguments about tional feminist ideal of strong, inde­ expose the political function ofrape in is ludicrous. Danger is not a gender rape can be used to sequester femi­ pendent, equal people. She writes, our society - that is, keepitlg women issue. No one, male or female, has the nism in the teary province of trauma "Take Back the Night works against terrorized and under the control of complete freedom to walk around at and crisis. They can block analysis' its own political purpose. Although men." By stating that rape is a politi- night free from fear and harm. Free- with statements like 'You can't possi­ the march is intended to celebrate cal tool of men, and not a criminal dom from fear is an unrealistic bly understand what I've been and bolster women's strength, it seems social deviancy, they are indicting all premise and essentially a state of through.'" She further remarks, "For instead to celebrate their vulnerabil­ men as rapists. They are saying that mind. Anyone who believes they can many feminists, then, rape becomes a ity. The marchers seem to accept, all men use rape to advance a misogy- walk around at night with nothing to vehicle, a way to get from here to even embrace, the mantle of victim nist political agenda. The last time I fear, especially in this day and age of there. By blocking analysis with its status. As the speakers describe ev­ checked the United States govern- rampantcrime,isself-delusional.Ev- unique pandemic suffering, the rape ery fear, every possible horror suf­ ment did not have a "rape-squad" to eryone, regardless ofgender and size, crisis becomes a powerful source of fered at the hands of men, the image oppress women politically. How many is vulnerable to a criminal's knife or authority. " they project is one ofhelplessness and rapists in prison committed their gun. Again the rape-crisis feminists In a Machiavellian way rape is a passivity. The march elaborates on crime as means to a political end? are portraying this image of men as perfect political vehicle because it con­ just how vulnerable women are ... The They committed rape because they nighttime predators, vampires if you jures up emotionally charged images primal idea of women as hunted and are perverse, disturbed, anti -social will, and women as their helpless prey of horrific violence, physical viola­ men as hunters is there." individuals who cannot abide by soci- who must live in fear when the sun tion, and pure evil. The rape-crisis Even one of the founding leaders etal norms and laws. To suggest that goes down. feminists are able to camouflage their of the feminist movement ,Betty rape is a male political tool used to Rape is a vile act and no one political agenda under this powerful Friedan, criticizes the victimization oppress women is not only insulting, deserves to be raped. Rape is not a imagerythus making opponents seem message of the TBTN March: "Obses­ it is also political nonsense. The only political Left vs. Right issue or a man at best sexist or insensitive and at sion with rape, even offering Band­ ones using rape for political ends are vs. woman issue. Rape is a human worst pro-rape. Aids to its victims, is a kind of wallow­ the rape-crisis feminists. issue. Rape is not a political tool used It is also important to examine ing in that victim state, that impotent The speakers did not come right by males to oppress women, nor are how the rape-crisis feminists define rage, that sterile polarization." out and say that men are by nature we living in a "rape culture." Rape is rape for their political purposes. The essence of the Michigan rapists, but it was implied. One the act of demented and perverse Roiphe finds that, "Everyone agrees TBTNMarch was anti-male paranoia. speaker, Katie Mattingly, proclaimed individuals who do not respect their that rape is a terrible thing, but we The marchers did their best to prove that every woman she knew (family fellow man or themselves. The orga- don't agree on what rape is ... 'Rape' that their rally was not anti-male. members, friends, and co-workers) nizers of the TBTN March, and all becomes a catchall expression, a word They stated in the evening's program had been sexually assaulted by men. rape-crisis-feminists, should be used to define everything that is un­ that, "We know most of you [men] If every woman she knows has been ashamed of themselves for co-opting pleasant and disturbing about rela­ would never assault any woman." sexually assaulted, there has to be this terrible criminal act as an ideo- tions between the sexes. Students say They thanked the men who attended corresponding number of men to com- logical issue. You are beneath con- things like 'I realize that sexual ha- the rally for being so supportiXe. They mit these ~cts: Also, every time she tempt.. MEt , eN" .,,,,,,- ~ »;",,> ...,.ot-'t!-~"1:~1J'''''I'.~~i,C\t.t- .....ll'i·.·liIo!i .. 7~''·1j.''... f' ..~·~1I~''''-A·''','1I.'J-#!""Jl'#'Jl.-",,.r .... "" ~, ~"~,.;.?

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Commencement ·f~' ,v, Continued from Page 1 Ford will speak at the ~;rkham Com­ years. He has been an outspoken ad­ ture, upon African and Asian peoples, mencement ceremony at Hill Audito­ vocate for Palestinian self-determi­ while at the same time denigrating of one of South Africa's largest uni­ rium on May 1st. In 1996, Ford's novel nation, and has recently been ex­ their indigenous cultures. . versities. Along with Steve Biko Independence Day (not the basis for tremely critical of the Middle East (whose life story was chronicled in the the movie) won both the Pulitzer Prize peace process, believing that the Pal­ MARY LOWE GOOD mm Cry Freedom), she was one of the for Fiction and the PENlFaulkner estinian leadership has made too founders of the radical anti-apart­ Award - the first book ever to do so. many concessions to Israel and the Good spent 25 years in academia, heid Black Consciousness Movement His first novel, A Piece of My Heart, United States. In many of his books, most recently as the Boyd Professor of in 1969. She was exiled for six years to was published in 1976, and nomi­ most notably Orientalism (1978) and Materials Science at Lousiana State an impoverished resettlement area nated for the Ernest Hemingway Culture and Imperialism (1993), Said University. Beginning in 1993 and for blacks in northern South Africa; Award for Best First Novel. His other. has fiercely criticized the West. In until recently, she was the during this time, while pregnant with works include the novels The Ulti­ Orientalism, his thesis was that the undersecretary for technology in the Biko's son, she learned that he had mate Good Luck (1981); The Sports­ study of the Middle East by Western Commerce Department of the Clinton died in police custody. She became writer (1983)-ofwhichIndependence scholars was essentially an imperial­ Administration. She has been a sci­ the first black woman to be named Day was the sequel; Wildlife (1990); a ist act, for it furthered the aims of ence adviser to four U.S. presidents, vice chancellor of a South African collection of short stories, Rock imperial powers and contributed to and also served as a member of the university in 1996,and recently Springs (1987); and Women with Men Western perceptions of Arabs as infe­ National Science Board for 11 years. chronicled her life story in her autobi­ (1997), a collection of three novellas. rior and ofIslamic culture as second­ She was most recently was awarded ography, Across Boundaries. Born in 1944 in Jackson, Missis­ rate. Similarly, in Culture and Impe­ the 1997 Priestley Medal, the highest Ramphele has not reached this sippi, he attended Michigan State rialism he argued that the West forced honor ofthe American Chemical Soci­ point without enduring her fair share University and studied literature. In its culture, especially its literary cul- ety.l\R of controversy. Much of this has cen­ between a briefstintin law school and I----;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;~-- tered around her relationship with earning his M.F.A. at the University , A , Biko. She criticized what she termed of California at Irvine in 1970, Ford Stngle Eye Of Light: the"Gandhi-like" portrayal of his life worked a variety of odd jobs, includ­ Sacred Visions in Cry Freedom, and she herself has ing teaching junior high school, and (Poems & Letters) been criticized by more radical politi­ becoming an assistant science editor Rnnne R. Glea~n a CnlYerslly of ;\flchlgan cal adversaries for abusing Biko's at American Druggist magazine. In Graduate with concentration In psychology. legacy "as a way of climbing up the 1981, he became a sportswriter, cov­ philosophy and rt'lIglon nils the void within ladder of white privilege." ering baseball and college football for each of us with his new book.

Another source of controversy for Inside Sports in New York. His con- Poems stet'ped In cosmic fragrance~,leUt'rs wown In silken yarn, make for a Ramphele has been her effort to make nection to the U-M goes back almost literal reast or the mind. '" ill\u,"",- gasbord of mystical and psychological yerse the faculty and administration at UCT three decades: he was a member of that reverberates long aft.erwards In tht' mind of the reader and buttressed by more racially representative. Al­ the Michigan Society of Fellows in It'f.ters that test one's own sense of reallly. though black students now comprise 1971-74, a faculty member in 1975- In the long letter, "Letter to a Young Woman.- Iht' author Inlroduces almost half of the University's enroll­ 76, and the Avery Hopwood Memorial Psycho-Spiritual commentaries on the Inner life wllh a brief Introductlon 10 ment, the faculty is still largely white Lecturer in 1992. He has also taught the GurdjltiT-Ospensk1' teachings. T~' o of the gems are as follows: selr­ and male. Her public statements on at Williams College, Princeton Uni­ Remembering; the need 10 transport consciousnt'ss Into Ihl' waking state or self-remembeHd m(Jlie- This stall' has nothing to do wllh "'hal you wou.ld this have been mixed; for example, versity, Harvard University, and is Imagine It to be. This has nolhlng to do with contemporary psychological while she states that "we cannot go now a visiting lecturer at Northwest­ self-help meanderlng"(s)." Tht' St'Cond gem: The mt'taphyslcal sexual In­ into the 21st century on the basis of a ern University. terplay or energy bt'twl't'n male and rt'malt' rt>Sultlng In Iht' karmic conse· profile of deans who are all white quences of becoming. one Oesh . males," she has also declared that "no EDWARD SAID In 'Parody Thl' Crllle," thl' aUlhor glvt'S a satlrlcall'xpose' of man's artlnee one at UCT will be targeted merely burled beneath his or her dlvlness. Although tht' author prt'sents a somewhat because they are white and male ... Said might very well be the most caus/Ic vl~' of the human condillon In Parod~' The Crllk. II is speckkd wllh competent white men who are doing controversial of the honorary degree humor and bultl'fed with comedy, laughabll'. their jobs will have nothing to fear at recipients. Born in Jerusalem, in 1948 In "A Child is Born," the author shart'S In (lOt'tk fashion thl' rullli~' of base UCT and the vast majority fall into Said and his family were dispossessed plt'asurt'S of this world and his I'ventuallransformallon Into the splendors of this category." Similarly, she rejects from Palestine and settled in Cairo, the heavenly worlds. the notion of affirmative action, say­ Egypt. He attended the Victorian ing she never uses the term because College in Egypt, and earned his Ph.D. In "Ovl'fhrard in tht' Gym.' the lIuthor Inlroduct'S an Imaglnuy conversa­ tion between a basketball. a basketball backboard, a basketball Ooor. a she "rejects its hotion of tokenism," from Harvard, where he won the basketball rim and players. A sensational rt'vle~' on managing both Ihe ~in and states that it is a strategy "mind­ Bowdoin Prize. He joined the faculty and loss columns or onl"s heart. lessly imported from America, where at Columbia University in 1963, and [it hasn't] even worked, because it has taught in the fields of history, In the "Thank You Poem.· thl' author extols thl' leaching \'alue of a m}Tlad was all about just giving black people music, and literature. Said is well­ or personal encountt'rs In lire. a leg-up rather than profoundly trans­ known in the world of academia, hav­ Ronnl' R. Git'lison a graduatl' of thl' linivl'fslty of Michigan with conct'n· forming society ." ing lectured at more than 150 univer­ tratlons In p~)'chol~·. philosophy. religion and a sludt'nl or GeorgI' Finally, Ramphele has taken ag­ sities and colleges in the United C"d1rdjleff. Gold and the holy falhers of the ancient I'sstl'fn Christian or­ gressive steps to transform the man­ States, Canada, and Europe. thodox church for o\"t'r twenty I'lght Yl""olrs Is no neaphytl' to the mysterlt'S of life. The author Is al~ a mt'mber or thl' Academy of American Pot'ts. agement structure at UCT, where she Professor Said is also active po­ has consolidated deanships and insti­ litically, and is considered one of the Ronne R. Gleason takes the reader on a fantastic \'oyage \isltlng nt'w heights tuted a "performance appraisal sys­ most prominent intellectuals and cul­ or lnnef I'xperlenct'S and undl'fstandings ~n through A Single Eye of Ught. tem" to increase financial responsi­ tural critics in the United States t9- (This book Is garnished In wisdom for young and old allkl'.) bility and efficient management. day. He is a contributing writer and classical music critic for the liberal With over twmly profound Ind insightful chlptt'f5. one must not miss this RICHARD FORD magazine The Nation , and wasamem­ eoIden Opportunity to look bPyond the appearance 0{ things. Few books offer ber ofthe Palestine National Council, as mum.~ A SIRek' Eye or Light: Sacred Visions (poems & Letters) by Romtt' R. GleI!lOl1. F1nd tbe pot 0{ gold at tbe end of the r.lnbow today .t your Iocll Perhaps the best known of the an arm of the Palestinian Liberation f.vorlte book.~ore. ISBN-157501-426-9 DistrIbuted by BIkrr & Taylor $9.95

Commencement hono~s. Richard Orl;tanization ,(PLO), for .fourteen • ______IIIi ______. ~.··· "' .. •. J' .. !". >A ~ •• ~. J/ . ~ . • ~ '1 ' ". ~ ~ • " ', _'1,: .. " ." ', . ~ . ~ . ' •. ~ , .•. ~ . 'i ' ,"

~-~,--~~~~--~,~~~~~~~~~.. ~~ .. w.~~~ .... ~~ __.... ~~--~ _____ 10 THE MICHIGAN REVIEW April 22, 1998 _ o COMPUTING ON CAMPUS Survive the Summer With Email , • :11''''

BY BENJAMIN RoUSCH Michnet server in or near your home­ Open Hyperterminal, follow the iar login screen. The U-M Connectiv­ town. A list of these numbers can be instructions, and type in the phone ity Kit comes with a program called RE YOU GOING HOME TO found at http://www.merit.michnet/ number you looked up on the web. "Host Presenter" which can also be Mom and Dad for the sum­ phonenoslmichnet-nos.html. Be sure Press the connect button and wait for used like telnet, however you may A mer? Have you become an you check this list before you leave the Host prompt to come up. Type in have to spend some time adjusting email addict? Do you wonder how you the U-M for the summer, or you will "login.itd.umich.edu" at this prompt the font sizes and types to get it to look will ever make it though four months have a hard time trying to access the and hit Return. It will ~k for your right. without the internet? Ifyou answered list without an internet connection. login name, at which point you should Most computers running Win­ yes to any of these questions, then After you have found the local num­ type in your full unique name along dows95 or NT4 have Internet Ex­ this is the article for you. Within you ber appropriate for your home, you with the ®umich.edu (for example: plorer 3 pre-installed on them. You will find out how to connect to your can skip to the section below called [email protected], not just can use this to surf the WWW, or you email and even the rest of the internet "Just Email or the WWW?" brousch), and then enter your pass­ can download a different browser from from your hometown. It really is easier There are also similar services word. The familiar U-M welcome Microsoft's (http:// than you may have thought, and you provided by the U-M which stretch screen should then appear, and you www.microsoft.comlie/download!) or may even pick up some useful Inter­ across the country. These services all know what to from there. This is N etscape's (http://www.netscape.com/ net jargon. The only things you need charge more than just the 80 hours of the end of the email only instructions. downloadlindex.html) web sites. The are a computer running Windows95, Dial-In time allocated to you by lTD, U-M Connectivity Kit comes with WindowsNT (Mac users are on their and can vary from region to region. A CONNECTING, U-M STYLE Netscape Navigator 2, but you will own, and Windows 3.1 users should description of these services can be want something newer than that to realize it's almost the 21st century) found at http:// To connect to the WWW through view web pages. with a modem, and parents willing to www.com.itd.umich.edu/dialin/ your U-M Dial-In connection using If there is a problem with any­ let you tie up the phone line while you natdial.htmL After you have signed windows95 you should get the U-M thing in this article, please let me surf the web. up for one ofthe services, you should Connectivity Kit. You can either get know. I will fix all errors and post follow their instructions for connect­ this by downloading if through FTP them to the Review's web site at http:! THE INTERNET CONNECTION ing to the Internet, which are prob­ from the site login.itd.umich.edul /www.umich.edu/-exclusives/ ably similar to (but not exactly the -swdistlbundles, or you can take a connection_errors.htm. Ml. The simplest way to connect to same as) those in this article. trip to the Angell Hall or the School of the internet is ifyour parents already Education computing sites and down­ use an Internet Service Provider (lSP) JUST EMAll.. OR THE WWW? load it from one of the Dell worksta­ such as America On-Line, tions. The way you download it fr9Jll- ~' Compuserv, or a local ISP. If your You must now make a decision a computing site seems to change NEW! From The parents can write email to you from whether you want to just check your from time to time, so ask one of the Michigan Review Pressl home (not from work), then they al­ email, or whether you want to access lTD Sites Consultants if it is not im­ A completely untrue offer! ready have an internet connection. the whole WWW (using Netscape, mediately obvious. -Whichever way The most difficult part of checking FTP, Gopher, etc.). If all you need to you download the Connectivity Kit, Stuck hi the Kitchen With Ben email in this case is convincing your do is send and receive email, you will you will need to have five blank 3-1/ Join Review Editor Benjamin Kepple as he parents to let you use their internet have no problems. If you want to 4 inch floppy disks (1.44 Megs, not gets locked in a kitchen with local vegetarian account. After you have explained experience the WWW in all its multi­ 700k). When you have an hour or so activist Emily Strauss! The actual product of how email is essential to your life and media glory, you will have to do a few to spare, pop in the first disk, open a 48 hour experinIent in close contact, see the vitality, you just log onto your par­ things at U-M before you leave for A: \ setup.exe, and follow the direc­ high-fat, high-cholesterol dishes that have made Ben the walking health disaster he is ents' Internet account (per their in­ the summer. If you are only going to tion& which should appear. If you are today! Contrast those with the no-fat, no­ structions). You can then skip to the use email, see the section below called using NT, I assume you or someone in satisfaction dishes prepared by Emily! 128 section below called "The Essential "The Modest Hyperterminal." If you your family is somewhat familiar com­ pp" photos: including 12 plates ofclose kitchen Software." are gunning for the whole WWW, puters, and I will provide the proper combat involving skillets, blenders, and other sharp objects. $19_95. If your parents do not already jump to the section below called "Con­ network settings on the Michigan have an ISP, or they are unconvinced necting, U-M Style." Review's web site. Access the follow­ Lee Bockhorn, Culture Critic by your arguments, there is still a ing page and print it out: http:// way to access the World Wide Web THE MODEST www.umich.edul-mrev/exc1usives/ Laugh at the perilous mis-adventures of (WWW) courtesy of the University of NTsettings.htm. After the Connec­ Managing Editor Lee Bockhom as he goes BYPERTERMINAL undercover to expose the seamy underbelly Michigan. There.is a network of serv­ tivity Kit is installed (or, with NT, the of Ann Arbor pop culture. See how the alter­ ers and phone lines across the State of Hyperterminal or an equivalent network settings are correct) continue nate spokesman for American Movie Clas­ Michigan which allow you to connect program can be found pretty much to the section below called "The Es- sics investigates "Batman and Robin V: They Just Won't Die; ·Safetygirl Goes To The to a local server and from there access every computer running a Microsoft sential Software." Arbor Drug for Supplies,· -Hash Bash: Those your University of Michigan account operating system. It is most likely Crazy Kids'll Blow Their Minds!," and a hi­ just as if you were in Angell Hall found in the Start menu under Acces­ THE ESSENTIAL SOFTWARE larious episode where Lee is dragged along (well, almost). By accessing this sories/Hyperterminal. If by friends to Canadian sin capital Windsor, Michnet, you use some of the 80 free Hyperterminal or its equivalent is After you have opened an internet Ontario! 288 pp., 4 pp. photos. $19.95 hard­ back hours of Dial-In time lTD is provid­ not already installed on your com- connection with the U-M Connectiv­ ing for returning students this Sum­ puter, you can install it by opening ity Kit or some other ISP, the easiest C.J. Carnacchio: mer. The only thing you have to do is the Control Panel, choosing AddlRe- way to check email is to create a Pm Heading for Mexico find the phone number which will move Programs. Click on the tab shortcut to a program called "telnet." allow you to connect to the local called Windows95 or NT Setup, high- Right click on the desktop and choose ·r~ Heading for Mexi~· ,and other essa~. light Communications and press the New/Shortcut. When it asks for the WItn~88 ~ . J .. Carnacchi?s tr~formation ...... from Idealistic conservative to Irate conser- Ben, Campus AffaIrs Editor and tech- Details button. Put a check m the box Command Prompt, type telnet vative activist in this heart-warming collec- nology czar of the Review, is sick of by Hyperterroinal, press the OK but- 199in.itd.umich.edu" and hit Next. tion of essays. Also includes, "To Hell With screwing around with Host Presenter ton and follow the directions which':' Name the shortcut something like the Grandkids, Anyway; -Ifl Wanted Mar­ and Netscape Navigator, and has will pop up. Once Hyperterroinal is "lTD Login" and press finish. You ~~e, I Woul~ Have Asked For It," an~ . B 'UGa' . all d . h h uld be bl d bl li k CIgars: Smoke emlfYouGot'Em,WeDont erecte d a smaII s h nne to, tes m mst e, continue to t e next para- s 0 now a e to ou e-c c on Have Much Time Left!" 466 pp., 12 pp. pho- his "t:room. ' graph. the new icon and connect to the famil- toe, $8.95 paperback i ______...... , .. __ ... _ • ______. _.. _ ._. __ .______.. ______. ... _ .___ -. ______. ___' _ ' ___. _ .. _____ ,__ _ ._. ______'""_'_"0<_ ..- .. _ _ _.. ___ ...... _____ ...... _. - _ ...... _ ._ -- - _ .- " __ .,,J April 22, 1998 THE MICHIGAN REvIEW 11 o Hoops Du JOUR A Wildcat Wins Title Again

BY ANDREW GoLDING Majerus would have become a brand defmitely more pizzaz. This champi­ Garnett - could and should be play­ name, pitching sweatpants,junk food, onship contest was devoid of stars ing in college at this time. March AN ANTONIO - THREE and hotel living. Presently, he is just and any great players, instead fea­ Madness was exciting; for three weeks ofexhilarating athletic pitching himself, declining the va­ turing above-average college players weeks we watched as dreams were S competition ended here on cant Arizona State and Texas head who will have limited success in the made, and others shattered. m March 31 as the Kentucky Wildcats coaching positions, but keeping his professional ranks. Andre Miller, defeated the Utah Utes to win their hotel 'line open to other possible suit­ Michael Doleac, Jeff Sheppard, and second men's college basketball cham­ ors. Nazr Mohammed: NBA backups at -IT Is DRAFT TIME: The upcom­ pionship in the last three years. Before the contest even began, it best. ing NBA Draft is one of the weaker in For Kentucky first-year head man looked as though fate was on Utah's What we saw at the Final Four recent memory, with no franchise play­ Tubby Smith, the victory was a crown­ side. Kentucky looked scared, out of was basketball in pure form, without ers such as 1997's Tim Dunca.o and Keith Van Horn. Kansas' Raef ing ofsorts, an acknowledgement that whack - or at least their coach did. the hot-dogging and ridiculous antic LaFrentz and Pa u1 Perce will likely be he was indeed a suitable replace­ Smith forgot to engage in the custom­ we see on SportsCenter , without the among the first five selected, along ment for Rick Pitino, current coach of ary pre-game handshake, forcing isolation and one-on-one play the NBA with Arizona's sophomore point guard the NBA's Boston Celtics. Majerus to invade the Wildcat huddle is. We saw multiple passes, hard Mike Bibby. Saint Louis' 6'5", 180- For Utah's media darling and before Smith realized his oversight. screens, intense defense, clutch shots, pound freshman guard Larry Hughes coach, Rick Majerus, the entire tour­ Such an incident could have eas­ heartbreaking misses, and the crown­ is an unquestionably talented player, ney - particularly victories over Ari­ ily been the lead paragraph in the ing of one National Champion from a but a bit slim, as is 6'10", 212-pound zona and North Carolina - proved next day's coverage of the contest, a field of 64. It was not, as CBS and high schooler Rashard Lewis . glaring example of how Smith was Marc Anthony proclaimed after­ Michigan's Robert Traylor is rated as him to be a deft strategist and tacti­ the lIth best player by ESPN's Chris cian, a master at developing game intimidated and nervous in what was wards, "One Shining Moment," but a Monter, who writes that "Maybe an plans to aid his less athletic team in his first Final Four appearance as a multitude of shining moments. training camp will get 1?im into battle. head coach. Yet, it was Majerus' team The 1998 NCAA Tournament will ." U- M's Jerod Ward is rated For sportswriters, the Kentucky which actually was intimidated, not be rightfully labeled as the great­ 57th, and Maceo Baston 65th. win may have been a disappointment. squandering a ten point halftime lead est, or one ofthe best, because it was A Utah victory would have incited to lose by nine to a deeper Kentucky not. It had some buzzer beaters, some • QUICK NOTE: New "Hoops Du memories of David versus Goliath, squad. great upsets, but there have been Jour" columns will be posted on the cries of "Cinderella," endless weeks The matchup may have been many more in past years. There were view web site (www.umich.edul of talk show appearances on Leno David versus Goliath, but in actual­ some great players, but the best - an -mrev) this summer. m down to Tim Robbins' infomercials. ity, that meeting had more star power, Iverson, a Marbury, a Walker, a •.. Missed joining the Review this year? Join us next year.

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BY KRISTINA CURKOVIC with subdued suspicion. Nina finds heterosexuals get complicated. But again as his character falls in love - everything in George that is lacking Object approaches the subject with different kinds of love - with Nina INA AND GEORGE BE­ in Vince: sincerity, honesty, trust and absolute maturity and realism. When and Paul, and as his heart is broken lieve they can build a perfect unquestioning friendship. They be­ George falls in love with Paul, Nina is and mended throughout the film. N world together, raising Nina's come the best of friends and do every­ devastated and their relationship is Rudd tackles his complex role per­ child and living in the blissful friend­ thing together, including taking danc­ in question; Nina's sister Constance fectly with a sensitivity that makes ship that has been the backbone of ing lessons. When she learns that she represents the outside world as a his character's varied emotions com­ their relationship. is pregnant, Nina decides that she woman who accepts alternative pletely believable. But a couple offactors might catch wants to raise the child with George, lifestyles as long as they are outside of The movie as a whole contains the not Vince (the father); George, realiz­ her own family; Vince's anger toward same sensitivity, creating a love story The Object of My Affection ing that he has the chance now to be Nina and her decision about their between people which, while idealis­ tic, delves into real emotions - emo­ Directed by Nicholas Hynter. the father he never thought he could child provides the edge the audience tions that often are uncontrollable Featuring Jennifer Anniston and be, agrees and the two of them begin needs to show that Nina and George's and unchangable. The actors, direct­ Paul Rudd. a dream of creating their own new world cannot be the perfect one they world where they make the rules. imagine. ing, and screenplay convince us that up with them and ruin things: George But the outside world starts Aniston, as Nina, is as cute as we can't choose with whom we fall in is gay, and Nina can't help falling in throwing reality Nina's way. She is in ever, and almost believable as a low­ love, and that the old rules don't ap­ love with him. love with George and can't bear shar­ income social worker. She has made a ply anymore in either love or society. In The Object of My Affection, ing him. When he falls in love with a sure niche for herselfin the big-screen The movie's creators should be ap­ George's (Paul Rudd) lover leaves him young man, she finds herself sur­ world that she may not have quite plauded for their work, and present­ and he moves into his new friend rounded by homosexual men who, as done with her previous starring role ing a movie that is not only an "alter­ Nina's (Jennifer Aniston) apartment a wise theater critic points out to her, in Picture Perfect by playing a charac­ native" love story, but a very good one while her boyfriend Vince looks on can leave her at any moment for other ter with not only her usual comedic as well.Ml men. Nina and George have built a talents, but also a range of necessary Kristina Curkovic is a senior world where Nina could be left com­ reactions and emotions. The true star majoringin English and Linguistics, pletely alone, or George could be com­ of Object, however, is Paul Rudd as Read Review Arts. We usu­ George. Movie audiences kept their and is Arts Editor of the Review. She pletely unhappy. ally know what we're talking eats Ramen Noodles and Spam in The movie could have danced eyes open for him after his first major order to be able to afford to go to the around the relationship and ignored role in Clueless as Cher's ex-half­ about. movie theater these days. the fact that relationships between brother. In Object, he steals h~.~ Wild Things: Wildly Unreal

BY MATJ'HEW BucKLEY like Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon)? question is, then, who will screw pretty effective job throughout the How many have sex crimes police whom? With Denise Richards and whole movie. This sort of "twisteroo" T SEEMS THAT FLORIDA­ patrols led by Detective Ray Duquette Neve Campbell on the scene, the ques­ movie, where everyone is suspect and specifically, the fictional city of (Kevin Bacon)? I don't know about tion has duel meanings. the resolution isn't worked out until I Blue Bay in Wild Things - has you, but our Des Moines girls from the It is the nature of this kind of the absolute final minute, can rapidly a far superior public school system wrong side of the tracks may be able movie that you can't reveal too much, become a farce if the director and than my home state of Iowa (specifi­ to fix cars, but they definitely look so I won't. Suffice it to say it is su­ actors aren't careful. For the most cally, Des Moines). They have audito­ like they are from the wrong side of premely unrealistic, with what seem part, McNaughton handles this pretty riums with comfy padded chairs, the tracks. In Suzie Toller, you get all to be gaping plot holes covered up well. He relies tOo much on random where police officers come to hold dis­ the mechanic's skills in the body of with a line or two later in the movie. shots ofgators and swamps to remind cussions of sex crimes and how to Neve Campbell. The people of Blue Essentially, you better not use the " us we are in Florida, a ploy which prevent them. They have sailing teams Bay, you understand, live in a far bathroom. Screenwriters Ken Nunn grates on the nerves after a while ... with a fleet of sparkling school-owned more attractive place than you or I. and Stephen Peters have put together does he really think that shots of sailboats. They have a wealthy elite Yet not all is sunny in Blue Bay. a convoluted, engaging screenplay gators rising from the swamps are that generously sprinkles the school The aforementioned Lombardo makes which won't win any Oscars but sus­ necessary to establish mood in this with money. In Des Moines, and for the mistake of getting left alone with tains audience interest. film? The actors also do a decent job; most of the real world ... you get the Kelly. Running from his house, Kelly Director John McNaughton does almost all the major players have to picture. eventually cries rape. As you might a neat trick at the end by slipping in play good and/or bad at the drop of a Most importantly, everyone is at­ suspect, this is anathema to guidance additional movie scenes into the end­ dime. In the "kid nympho" role, tractive in Blue Bay. Start with Kelly counselors. It gets worse when Suzie ing credits. The idea, I guess, is that if Richards does a nice job. It's probably Van Ryan (Denise Richards), who is corroborates Kelly's story with a sor­ you had seen these clips during the high time for Campbell to take some the spoiled-brat daughter of Blue did Lombardo rape tale of her own. actual movie, then everything would serious movie roles - she handles Bay's richest divorced couple. Wet, This might sound like the premise have become clear. I think there has these flashy thriller roles well and dry, or on the floor, her clothes are top of an entirely promising movie, but in to be a limit to this, since Wild Things could probably raise her act a notch or dollar fashion. Wet, dry, or on the fact this covers about the first twenty­ is the sort of movie where anything two. Dillon and Bacon are both solid. floor, she isn't half-bad herself. She five minutes. When Lombardo hires you see instantly gets questioned. I This movie is not going to win any hangs out with the rich set who, of attorney Ken Bowden (Bill Murray) suspect that if we actually saw the Academy awards, or even nomina­ course, are all appropriately attrac­ to defend him, after a devastating clips from the credits in the movie tions, or even ballpark consideration tive and well-dressed. cross-examination, Lombardo re­ itself, it wouldn't really explain much for nominations. However, it is a play­ Rich young women looking good, ceives eight million dollars. Now we at all. Nunn and Peters could cer­ ful, engaging little flick worthy of I concede, is not exclusive to Blue Bay have eight million dollars, plenty of tainly have taken any of those extra $7.50 and a couple of hours. Ml ... Des Moines has a few of them as attractive people with manipulative scenes, slipped them into the movie, well. But how many school disctricts minds, and an hour-and-a-half to and worked around them. I Wri te the Revi ew! have attractive guidance counselors, go. The relatively familiar premise McNaughton actually does a

--~",,,,,,,,,,,,,-","""'-~'~""'"'''''' '~ ____~~~~~~~~.~'~~~~~~'~'~'~'~'~~Mn~~~~~~~ .. ~ .... ~ ...... ~~ """""~"""~-~''''''-''---- Il:n f}3oo~ ( . U-M Prof. Tanter Studies "Rogue Regimes" BY MAl"1'HEW W. FOGARTY litical and geographical history that present. Tanter explores the nature tunities, diplomatic or otherwise, that are spiced with witty anecdotes, of each leader under the rubric of might arise out of crisis situations in s PRESIDENT GEORGE Tanter identifies, analyzes, and then "personality, politics, and policies." related areas. Third, Tanter outlines Bush presided over the fall of vilifies the six members ofhis "rogues' In discussing Iraq, he digs into the the politics that sUITound and restrict A the Berlin W all-and with it gallery" - Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, character of Saddam Hussein, whom these rogue leaders. It would be very the era of the East-West Cold War­ Cuba, and North Korea. All six of he sees as being much like the main difficult, for instance, for Hafez Al- the United States and its allies found these nations, he writes, have repeat­ character in his favorite movie, The Assad and his Syrian government to themselves at a los8 with regard to edly made their way into the State Godfather. Tanterrecountsoneanec- cooperate with U.S. peace efforts in international affairs. For the first time Department's annual report "Patterns dote about Saddam's vile temper and the Arab-Israel conflict simply due to in more than a halfcentury, there was of Global Terrorism." Additionally, the unfortunate luck of his in-laws. the political ramifications within his no singular enemy and no specific each member has a remarkable record AfterSaddam married his second wife, constituency and the balance of the '"clear and present danger" threaten~ ofpermitting the trading ofnarcotics. one member of the bride's family sug~ Arab world. Finally, Tanter investi~ ing U.S. interests. In August of 1990, However, the book is not so much a gested to his own wife that he did not gates the policies that drive the lead- however, Saddam Hussein stepped history lesson, but a lexicon of the consider Saddam a legitimate mem- ers of the rogue regimes, and the into the spotlight. Hussein ushered looming threats to the national secu~ ber of the family, unaware that resulting implications for the U.S. his troops into Kuwait, "reclaiming" rity of the U.S. and its allies. Saddam had taken the liberty ofbug~ foreign policy. the nation as their own. The rest of To illustrate that threat, Tanter ging their room. The husband and Tantercombinesthesemyriadfac~ the Iraq-Kuwait story is well known. ingeniously interweaves historical in­ wife were accordingly rushed through tors in analyzing the threats that the The military strength of the Iraqi formation and political science theory. the Iraqi justice system to a life sen~ U.S. must consider in setting its for- government was not so much the trig~ For example, he employs theories of tence in jail. eign policy agenda. Rogue Regimes ger offear among the allies as was the deterrence and coercion to explain In determining exactly how large provides a fascinating, in-depth ac- personality of the man now known American policy toward North Korea. a threat each of the rogue regimes count of the Cold War, as well as a simply as "Saddam." In his new book, In this case, deterrence theory would poses to the security of the globe, lesson on the severity of relations "Rogue Regimes," (St. Martin's Press, suggest that to avoid a military con­ Tanter works through four themes. with rogue regimes. As he exclaims in $29.95) University Professor flictwithNorthKorea, the U.S. should First, he identifies the role of threat one of his political science lectures, Raymond Tanter explores the nature pursue a policy of coercion by show of perception in relations with these "The United States must understand of Saddam's government among his force. rogues. He suggests that the U.S. that the threats of the twenty-first examinations into the post-Cold War Another focus of the book is the must take caution in exactly how it century involve rogue state leaders threats facing the U.S. and its allies. relation of the leaders of these na­ interprets the actions of these na- who are more dangerous than any In seven detailed chapters of ~ tions to the threats their countries tions. Second, he points to the oppor.- -~-60Id War conflict!" Mt Fry's History Needs a Deeper Look BY KrusTINA CURKOVIC an elderly professor of physics, Leo changes course as history itself it is that makes Michael so interested Zuckerman, who becomes very inter­ changes. in Hitler and the Holocaust. Fry's N HIS TWO PREVIOUS ested in Michael's work. They agree And this is where Fry encounters cursory glance at an alternative, re­ books, aut. hor/actor Stephen to discuss it later. In the meantime, some problems. While he extensively pressive world needs deeper analysis I Fry delved into frivolous and Michael makes up with his estranged looks into the roots of the Nazi party to capture his readers. hilarious topics ranging from British girlfriend, a scientist working on a and German nationalism after the On the other hand, Fry does go boarding schools in The Liar to male sterilization pill, an experiment first world war, Fry's analysis of the into deliciously crucial information pseudo-miracles in The that becomes important later on. present-day situation is limited. We about Hitler's family and army back~ Hippopotomos, the latter being the Meeting with Zuckerman, do learn that things aren't a lot better ground. Fry proved his ability to make Michael learns ofthe man's obsession around the world; in fact, they are a O'Henry-type connections in The with the Holocaust and Hitler. lot worse for many minority groups, HippopotOmos, and he takes advan­ Making History Michael assumes the obsession comes even in the U.S. and especially in tage ofthat ability in this book to give by Stephen Fry from Zuckerman's Jewish roots and Europe. But the change in social at­ it some valid and substantial moments Random House, $20.00 experiences, but in one of the book's mosphere is barely touched upon and to show that the the tremendous trag­ best moments we learn that only hinted at. Michael studies the edies of WWII were not enacted by Zuckerman's fixation comes not from history of the past 50 years and dis­ one man's whim and zeal alone. better of the two and still better than anger, but guilt. His real name is Axel covers that the Nazi party is alive and Fry tells his tale through a vari~ Fry's latest novel, Making History. Bauer and his father was not a Holo­ kicking, controlling all of Europe and ety of mediums, jumping back and The three books together show us caust victim, but a Nazi doctor at at constant odds with the U.S. Even forth from the present to the past, that Fry finds a better-fitting niche Auschwitz. worse, Michael's clever attempt to using screenplay format and includ­ in frivoloty than he does in any seri­ Michael, moved by Leo's passion change history has critically back~ ing many extensive pseudo--histori~ ous undertaking in studying history's and guilt, suggests that they use the fired, and caused a tragedy as great cal texts to bring the book's alterna~ worst moments. physiGist's amazingly convenient time as the Holocaust itself. tive world almost to life, providing In Making History, those worst machine (that's right, a time machine) But Fry's alternative world leaves the reader with a variety of emotional moments concern World War II, and and Michael's vast knowledge of the reader wanting. Why is it that the levels. But taking a humorous author the man who seemingly started it all Hitler's family background to make U.S., while such an enemy of German like Stephen Fry and mixing it with - Adolf Hitler, the topic of narrator sure that Adolf Hitler was never born, Europe, should be as racist and dis­ dead serious topics like Hitler and the Michael Young's intense study. He is convinced that Hitler was the cata­ criminatory? How is it that Michael is Holocaust creates a book that can't a doctoral student at Cambridge, and lyst of all the terrible things that Jewish in the alternative world and seem to make up its mind ab,out how has just finished what he calls his happened in Europe during the first not in the real world? And how is it it feels about the subject matter. These "Meisterwerk," a thesis on those early half of the century. Having accom~ that Michael is more comfortabledis~ are questions that hav'e to, be an­ years of Hitler's life that led to the plished their mission through the covering his sexuality in the swered with more deliberation and dictator's intense nationalism and usual let's-use-the-time-machine­ respressed alternative world? Many insight not only into history, but hu- hatred of Jews. Michael soon meets for-good storyline, the book abruptly things go unexplained, including what manity as well. Mt . ~- -'. -- ,- ----...... ,,",'" ~ ...... - "...... ", .... ,...... --

'"'"m''''''.~~_~''< '" ,." ..... '"_~~'''<~_<"''"'~<''' "'"'~~_.___ ~ ______.0 Music ;' Sarah McLaehlan: Breathtaking BY ROBERT WOOD watched and cared for her husband from promoters who said, 'You don't but a sell-out. To throw such accusa­ (they married) as his body deterio­ want to put two women on the same tory language around is bad form, HERE IS A STAR RISING rated, and mourned his eventual pass­ bill.' And I thought, 'Oh, that's ridicu­ and to accuse someone of compromis­ from the North, specifically, ing. The compassion McLachlan felt lous.'" ing their artistic integrity, especially T from Halifax, Nova Scotia, and for this woman, and all those touched Because McLachlan's name was someone as talented and soulful as it has already begun to spread light by the plague of AIDS, is starkly evi­ getting bigger, and she was command­ Sarah McLachlan, is completely with­ upon the previously-decaying land­ dent in this song. Each of McLachlan's ing more money per show than ever, out class and unfairly judgemental. scape of popular music. She has been songs seems to be another window she could also command a bit more She has finally hit it big in the U.S. on the rise since her discovery in 1985 through which one cannot help but respect from her promoters. " ... I had after ten years in the business. She and the release of her first heavenly get a personal glance into the singer's the power and control where I was has put in the hours and hard work to creation, Touch, in 1988. Sarah soul. able to say, 'I'm going to play with do it all just right. McLachlan, while generally consid­ Sarah McLachlan was born in whoever I want to.''' I was at the concert myself. The ered a spokesperson for women's Halifax, Nova Scotia, in 1968. She is When Lilith Fair eclipsed reason people were a little sedate music, has really revitalized the en­ the adopted youngest child ofexpatri­ Lollapalooza, H.O.R.D.E., and during some ofher slower ballads was tire pop music scene with her inti­ ate Americans Jack and Dorice R.O.A.R. this past summer, the glass that the MSU Auditorium was poorly mate, thought-provoking lyrics and McLachlan. According to an October ceiling appeared to be cracking a bit. ventilated, and had a room tempera­ sensual, angelic voice. 29 J 1997 article in People, her parents Sarah McLachlan was the only con­ ture of about 85 degrees. Ms. While Touch remained a bit of an convinced her to enroll in the Nova stant headliner ofthe tour, which also McLachlan is also a folk and soft rock underground hit, her next release, Scotia College of Art and Design in featured Tracy Chapman, Jewel, singer, which means that her songs Solace, brought her into the main­ 1986, where she was interested in Suzanne Vega, and Paula Cole. It was are going to be a bit slower than say, stream scene. Her music really started jewelry design. That same year, an clear from the beginning of Lilith that Bush, Hole, or some other alternative turning heads in the U.S. with 1994's acquaintance pointed out that this wasn't going to be a man-bash­ excuse for music. Sarah McLachlan Fumbling Toward Ecstacy. When McLachlan looked a lot like her friend ing festival. McLachlan was even glad performed almost all the songs on Surfacing was released last year, her Judy Kaines. Sarah got a sho~k when to see a few men in the audience, as . both her most recent albums, and influence in the music world could not she and Kaines found out that Kaines she stated in a September 1997 Roll­ about half of Solace. She played a be denied. She was at the top. was actually Sarah's biological ing Stones piece. two-hour set without missing a note, For those ofher more recent fans, mother; now, the two women see each While most summer rock tours and came back for two encores. She and for those who have yet to hear other at Christmas and throughout accepted sponsorship from alcohol and did all this knowing she had another anything more than is played on the the year. tobacco companies, along with show in Toledo the next night. She radio: the more you hear, the more A recent conversation with Re­ automakers and soft drink C?rpera­ gave everything her impressive set of you will become amazed at the unbe­ view Music Editor Chris Hayes tions,LilithFairtookadifferentroute. pipes should have given, and then lievable talent this woman possesses. brought up an idea that everyone who According to the June 9, 1997 issue of some. A few thousand other people at Those of you "Fumblers" (equivalent has ever wanted to meet her seems to The Wall Street Journal, Lilith Fair's the show had an unbelievable time, to Metallica's "Metallifans" or the have; they just want to give her a hug. sponsors were carefully picked by and this reporter will not soon forget Grateful Dead's "Deadheads") who That's all my girlfriend wants. That's McLachlan because oftheir charitable the experience. know her work and life, you agree all the guy who ran up on stage during donations to women's causes and to Sarah McLachlan's star has risen, that she has the kind of lyrical and her April 7 concert at the MSU Audi­ represent categories such as "learn­ and the pop music scene is finally vocal gifts that do not come along torium wanted. He got one, too, just ing" and "wellness." Ann Arbor's own revolving around its most deserving more than once or twice in a genera­ before a body guard leapt on him and Borders Bookstore chain was chosen sun in some time. l\R tion. The reason her work and life dragged him off stage. The only per­ to sponsor the learning category, and were even mentioned in the same son who usually gets to do the hug­ Nine West was chosen for wellness sentence is also the reason her music ging is her drummer and husband, because of its monetary donations to is so enrapturing: they are insepara­ Ashwin Sood. The two tied the knot in breast cancer organizations. "Socially Write for the bly intertwined. Her song, "Posses­ Jamaica in February of 1997. Sood conscious businesses [were] what we Review's Music sion," from Fumbling, is a perfect, if recalls in a July 28, 1997 article from wanted. No child labor, no animal somewhat disturbing, example. For Maclean's, "Half an hour before we testing, but community oriented." Pages! three years she was stalked by a com­ got married, we were naked in the According to the Journal, Tommy puter programmer from Ottawa. ocean. And half an hour later, we Hilfiger was apparently interested in give you the op­ Eventually she was forced to get a were naked and back in the ocean. It sponsoring the tour, but Lilith de­ ortunity to do reviews restraining order against him, after couldn't have been better." clined. The tour organizers wanted f new music, concerts, which she wrote "Possession." This After her current tour winds several symbolic backers, instead of a was not the end of the story, however. down, don't bet on a new album right "Tommy Tour." nd other events. Our The stalker filed a lawsuit against away. McLachlan stated in a 1997 Looking at this policy from a wesome Music Editor McLachlan regarding the song, claim­ MuchMusic special that she and her strictly financial point of view, one hris Hayes will hook ing "breach of confidence." The suit husband are "going to try and have a wonders exactly who Ms. McLachlan ou up wi th music, tick­ was dismissed, and the man subse­ baby. I'm almost 30, you know, the thinks she is. Yet, when pop culture ts, and an inside look quently committed suicide in Decem­ clock's ticking big time." and her fan base are considered, she ber, 1994. In an interview in Rolling When McLachlan created and knows exactly who she is: she is the t the music industry. Stone three years later, Ms. headlined the Lilith Fair Tour, which one on top. McLachlan adds, "And this one per­ covered 35 dates last summer and is Regarding the April 7 concert e're always looking for son wasn't the only guy ... there were slated for a second round of dates this mentioned earlier, a review of it was ew talent. If you're a lot ofletters from other people say­ summer, she was relieved to have published in the Michigan Daily the interested in writing ing the same kind of thing ... Writing finally had the clout within the music following Friday. The reviewer sug­ the song ·Possession' was very thera­ industry to make a positive stride for gested that McLachlan had "sold out" for our summer on-line peutic." women. In the December 1997 Roll­ and perhaps wasn't as powerful a issue, or for our paper The hauntingly beautiful "Hold ing Stone interview J she recalled some performer as she used to be, but had in the fall, give us a On" was inspired by a documentary of the skepticism she encountered settled for "mesmerizing" the audi­ all at 647-8438 or email about a woman whose fiance had been when trying to organize her 1993 tour ence. The previous paragraphs should [email protected]. diagnosed HIV positive. This w9man with Paula Cole. "I got a lot of flaJt indicate~ that McLachlan is anything

'---~~"''''"''----.. ------...... ------April 22, 1998 MICHIGAN REVIEW LIVING CULTURE 15 I Music "" San Frart~s Hot Surf Band BY MICHAEL AUSTIN It's-almost like all of us are soloing all with the next record. The Mermen· the time, and for some reason it just appear to be a very recognizable, and s A FAN OF THE GENRE HETHER OR NOT YOU seems to gel," Whitman said. therefore marketable, band. "Jim's for 35 years, and a producer know what it is, chances The Mermen have received criti- . guitar rig is huge; it's like some sci­ A for 10, Phil Dirt knows surf W are you have heard surf cal praise, as well as awards for Out­ ence fiction movie from the '50s. You music. We had the chance to ask his music. Whether in Dick Dale's standing Independent Record (twice) know, all these big boxes with blink­ opinions on the music and the indus­ "Miserlou" of Pulp Fiction fame or the and Best Bay Area Club Band (1996 ing lights and hundreds ofcables con­ try. Additional information and his endless car and beer ads on televi­ necting them radio show are on the wei? at sion, suffice to say that you11 know it all over the www.spies.com/reverb/central.btml. when you hear it. place. Then Surf music first spread through­ 'he took two MR: What has changed with surf out the country in the early 1960s, Fender music in the last 10 years that has until the arrival ofThe Beatles stopped Stratocasters, made a difference? the phenomenon almost as quickly as sawed them it had started. Contrary to popular in half, and Phil: What's happening now is only belief, many people do not consider had them happening because it stopped being a groups such as The Beach Boys surf glued and revivalist kind of a thing, and the music. Truesurfisinstrumental, with fixed to­ genre came back to life. People are the guitar serving as the lead singer. gether by a bringing other elements into it and Another misconception is the connec­ local guitar it's growing. When the revival started tion with surfmusic and surfing. While tech. So now in '79, it was fundamentally a nostal­ the two sometimes crossed paths, it is he's playing gia thing. That's not the case any:' more of a label that regards the feel­ double ­ more, and that's why it's P9Pular. ing ofthe music, rather than a state­ ne'cks, and ment about the people who play it. how many MR: Any thoughts about the claim Today surfmusic has found some­ Allen Whitman of The Mennen . guitar play­ that bands must commercialize them­ what of a revival, brought 'about in ers do you selves in order to gain widespread part by radio show such as Phil Dirt's and 1997). This notoriety clearly es­ know that play double neck Fender II Tf~()~lla.rity? "Surfs Up! In San Francisco." Local tablishes them as an outstanding Strats? Nobody. So, there's a visual bands such as The Prodigals, The band, regardless of genre. Neverthe­ signature to go along with the &.umo Phil: The argument about art versus Volcanoes, and Professor Schmiddy less, they have yet to achieve popular signature of the Mermen sound." business is sort of specious. The first and The Eiements serve as prime success, partly due to the absence of a Still, the Mermen have never com­ time you charge someone to see you examples of the new surf movement. lead singer. "We've had people say to . promised their musicianship in order play, you've crossed that bridge. All While still based on the surfsound us 'We've got a suggestion for you how to gain popUlarity. "We don't think you're talking about is a matter of created 30 years ago, today's surf you can make it big. Get an 18 y~ar old too much about what image we're degree. A lot of people who make it music has come a long way since then. girl with a pierced belly button and trying to portray, we're just trying to aren't very good and a lot of people Part ofthe reaSon for surfs new found you'll rock.' And we're like, well, it's make the music whatever sounds best who don't are, but that's just life. success is the courage ofbands to add just not going to be that way. to us." new elements to the music. "For us it's always been a very Apart from the band, all three MIt: Where do you think the industry At the front ofthe new surfmove­ slow progression. And I think now I'm members keep themselves busy else­ is moving to in the next 10 years? ment are San Francisco's The resigned in a positive way that it's where. Jim Thomas surfs full time, Mermen. Phil Dirt's opinion that "if always going to be that way. As long while Martyn Jones works as a gate Phil: I think the variety is going to any band has left the envelope, it is as we keep playing together, it's just agent at the San Francisco airport. continue to scatter, it's not going to them. Their material reeks of surf, going to be a gradual rise. We really Allen Whitman is a full time writer, coalesce. Also the internet, and direct and it shouts tomorrow," perfectly appreciate people that like the music with a column in EQMagazine, and CD quality music available will just sums up what makes The Mermen because that's the reason we still play has written various freelance articles make that worse, or better depending stand out. While their music is in­ it. Even though we love the music, the for Wired. As for the band, "It's defi­ on your point of view. Eventually it's creasingly psychedelic, they are also fact that we get feedback from people nitely a big part of all our lives, but it's going to eliminate the need for labels. firmly rootOO in surf. listening to it in all different shapes not the only thing." Once that's happened, there's no force The Reviezp had the opportunity and forms is very positive." A few days after the interview, I trying to control the marketplace, so to speak with the bass player of The That gradual rise is set to con­ asked Allen what he would do if his end of focus basically. Mermen, Allen Whitman, about tinue in the coming months, as The heart was not in the music anymore. what goes into his music and where it Mermen are poised to gain a greater His reply was simple and direct. "If MR: So will independent labels gain all is going. audience. They make an appearance my heart were no longer in it, ofcourse influence over the large labels? The Mermen first formed ten on the Sony Playstation game "Road I would stop. But my heart will ever years ago when guitarist Jim Thomas Rash 2" and the accompanying com­ be musical. Regardless of what my Phil: It's as large as it's ever been met Allen Whitman working in a pilation CD. Both are set to release in life is like, I will always sing and I will right now, and I don't expect that to record store. After finding drummer April and will feature Sugar Ray always pick up a guitar or play a continue. The small labels provide a Martyn Jones and recording an al­ along with two other bands. A sixth piano if we happen to be in the same certain kind of capital in terms of bum, the three went their separate studio album is also in the works, room together." producing and distributing goods for ways. Soon after, however, Allen scheduled to finish up in the fall of In a time when we are constantly bands that have a difficult time doing found himself without a band, and 1998. You can also see them in the bombarded by one-hit wonders and it for themselves now. Ifyou can do it asked to join The Mermen full time. background as the house band of Com­ studio-created groups, The Mermen yourself, you can sell your product for They have been together ever since. edy Central's "Comics Come Home" stand out as something special. less, which means more people are While both Jones and Whitman which is now airing. Whether or not they ever gain nation­ going to buy it, and guess what, you were seasoned players before joining, The strong fan base has appar­ wide recognition, The Mermen have get all the money. I think if interest Jim Thomas had never been in a !>and ently caught the attention ofthe man­ left their mark on the music world as actually wanes, large labels and self­ prior to The Mermen. "I guess that agement at Atlantic Records, who are one of the most innovative bands ever published music on the internetWm lends a certain purity·'to his music. interested in a heavy promotion to go to exist.)R be about all there is. l\R _ • • ~ ~ • - - • • I

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