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Straws, Vegetables, Oompa Loompas, and Politicians

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Straws, Vegetables, Oompa Loompas, and Politicians Big Little Laws–The 2018 Bar Show Briscoe, Jessica Fletcher, and Scooby Doo) were gonna getcha” (“The Rhythm is and others hunt for the script. Gonna Get You”) and “Turned the House ReviewedbyAdam Sheppard President Trump got things started by Around” (“Tu rn the Beat Around”). singing of his summer fing with Supreme Republican Congresswoman Murkowski he 95th annual Bar Show was one Leader Kim in “Summer Nights” (Grease). and Democratic Congresswomen Pelosi for the ages. For the uninitiated, Trump was then Putin’s (literal) puppet in and Waters sang across the aisle in “Te Tthe irreverent musical comedy a parody of Chicago’s “We Both Reached Middle” (pop song by Zedd, Maren revue parodies local and national politi- for the Gun.” In this version, “the end of Morris, Grey). cal, sports, and showbiz figures. The our democracy has now begun, begun, Tetechsectormadeitintothefoldthis writers work through opening night to begun, oh yes, the end has now begun, year. Alexa, the device (an actress dressed as incorporate up-to-the-minute news sto- now begun.” World leaders Merkel, an Alexa) sang to her operator that he made ries. Te show’s title this year, “Big Little Macron, May, and Trudeau lamented her feel “Like an Actual Woman” (parody Laws,” was a play on “Big Little Lies,” the Trump’s threat to pull out of NATO of Carole King and Gerry Gofn’s “Natural popular 2017 HBO show. Te“plot”wasa in “goodbye reliable NATO, NATO, Woman”). Mark Zuckerberg testifed in the mystery–the opening musical number was NATO’s being destroyed” (sung to Guys Senate that Facebook is, in fact, “Getting “A Mystery” (parody of Something Rot- & Dolls’ “Te Oldest Established”). to Know you, Getting to know all about ten’s “A Musical”). Te show’s script goes Te comedy gods also granted cert. this you” (Te King and I). missing in the frst scene and famed inves- year topoke fun atthe Supreme Court. Jus- As for Chicago politicians, Bill Daley tigators (Holmes, Clouseau, Colombo, tice Kavanaugh recounted his high-school reminded his competition in the mayoral years in a “teenage wasteland” (Te Who). race of his distinct advantage: the public Justices Sotomayor and Kagan beseeched has “grown accustomed to our name” Justice Ginsburg to “Hold on” (parody of (ung to “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Wilson Phillips’ song with the same title). Face,” My Fair Lady). Te other mayoral A diverse group of newly-elected con- candidates, however, implored the public: gresswomen celebrated their victory in a “Take a Chance on Me” (Mama Mia). In a pair of Gloria Estefan songs: “the Women show-stopper, Mayor Emanuel, donning a 56 his twitter, the wonderful tweeter of ours.” Paul Ryan wondered what he could have Having trouble signing in at www. been if he “only had a spine” (“If I only had chicagobar.org? abrain”).Melanialongedforthedayswhen she lived “Somewhere over Manhattan way For logins created prior to August 2018, CBA up high” (“Over the Rainbow”). Ivanka logincredentialshavebeenreset.Yourusername acknowledged “complicit am I” (sung to is your member number and your password is “Te Wizard and I”). Te show would not be complete with- your member number followed by your last out the Joe Stone/Fred Lane vaudeville name (all lowercase and no spaces). Please use straight-man/eccentric partner act–and as these login instructions initially and then you always, they delivered. Another scene that highlighted the cleverness of the show’s may change your password via“My Member- writers was a play on Abbot & Costello’s ship”at www.chicagobar.org–click on“Change “Who’s on First.” In this version, the back- Password or Username”in your profle. and-forth concerned which bands would perform frst for a retro rock concert: To reset your username or password from the COLUMBO: Can you give me a little sign in box, click on ‘Forgot Login’ or ‘Forgot information about which groups are per- Password’to reset them. If you need further as- forming when? sistance contact the CBA at [email protected] Mama-Mia-esque, gold dance suit, bedaz- HUGO: Sure zled the crowd with Rahma Mia. Tat was COLUMBO: Who’s on frst or312/554-2000forhelpduringbusinesshours. one of several numbers that highlighted the As for pop culture, the “Real House- terrifcdancingandchoreographythisyear. wives of Cook County” premiered on Teshowcloser,pre-encore,wasthe Te other that comes to mind is “Rats”– Bravo. (Parody of “Beauty School Drop upbeat “Raise You Up/Just Be” (Kinky actors in life-sized rat outfts scurried about Out,” Grease). Roseann Barr self-refected Boots). In this version, the cast exalted the the stage to the tune of “Jellicle Songs for in “Oops I did it Again” (Britany Spears). Bar Show for “raising up” the cast, crew, Jellicle Cats” (Cats). Matt Lauer explained, “What I did for and crowd. TeBarShowisaudition-only,andlaw- Love” (Chorus Line). In the Food Chan- As always, the show encored with the yers completely comprise the cast. It’s obvi- nel’s annual Vegetable of the Year show, Bar Show original “Junior Partners,” the ous that these lawyers have musical-theatre avocado boasted, “I’m the thing in Guaca- show’s pièce de résistance. Per tradition, training. In “Make Our Garden Grow” mole” (“How Are Tings in Glocca Mora,” the CBA President joins the cast on stage (Candide), the actors nailed the difcult Finian’s Rainbow); lettuce crooned, “Te on opening night to sing a line. Tis year, operatic ballad (in this version, cannabis Lettuce Sits Tonight” (“TeLionSleeps CBA President Steven M. Elrod, a Bar entrepreneurs were seeking a loan). In Tonight”); asparagus welcomed the “Age of Show enthusiast, cast member wanna-be, another vocally impressive number, Sarah Asparagus” (“Aquarius,” the Fifth Dimen- and one of the strongest and longest sup- Sanders remained defant in “And I Am sion); but “Kale is the Victor” (Michigan porters of the show, took the stage for every Telling You I’m Not Going” (Dreamgirls). fght song). one of the show’s four performances, and The sets too were notable this year. In a series of short segments, Governor- belted an entire verse (solo). Elrod (half- In Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, elect J.B. Pritzker sang “Oh What a Beauti- jokingly) declared to the audiences that the Oompa Loompas who worked for Trump ful Morning” (Oklahoma); Colin Kaepe- only way he was able to get to be on stage interacted with “Te Candy Man” (Sean rnick sang “I Want to Kneel in America” at the Bar Show was to be elected CBA Hannity); Stormy Daniels sang of her (West Side Story); a now-banned plastic President. President Elrod said this about “Golden Ticket”; and Michael Cohen straw parodied “You are My Lucky Star the show: “After 40 years of attending the admonished Stormy: “Hush, little lady, (Straw)”(Singing in the Rain); Omarosa show, it is hard to believe, each year, that don’t say a word, Donald’s worried you’ll sang her name to the tune of “Oklahoma”; the show could keep getting better; but it be a mockingbird.” In a parody of Wonka’s Giuliani and Dershowitz lamented their does. Tis year’s show could have been the “Pure Imagination,” Trump governed with fall from grace in “Maim” (parody of best ever, primarily because of the highly “pure intimidation.” Against a Wizard “Mame”); and Elizabeth Warren invited talented singers and dancers in the cast this of Oz backdrop, Mike Pence, Lindsey the public to “come see my DNA” (parody year, and of course the incredibly creative Graham, and Susan Collins were “of to see of “Cabaret”). and witty writers (all lawyers)!” 57.
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