Open Flow Letters
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A N A A P L U S P U B L I C A T I O N OPEN FLOW LETTERS B Y A A P L U S C H A M P I O N S OPEN FLOW WRITTEN SINCERELY, IN TWELVE MINUTES As a wrap up to our 'Open Flow' writing series, my esteemed collaborator, A. Helwa, and I decided to host a live Zoom session where we invited our beloved AA Plus Champions to come online and just... write. With a few writing prompts and a timer set for just 12 minutes, these following letters were born. Reading these heartfelt pieces, I am now a believer that everyone can write. As long as the intentions are purified and the heart is open and ready to bleed on to paper, God willing, we will never run out of beautiful words to read and learn from. I pray your soul be touched by the words of my Sisters. A. LETTERS W R I T T E N F R O M T H E H E A R T 01 02 T O A L L A H S W T T O R A S U L U L L A H S A W 03 04 T O M Y F R O M T H E G R A N D C H I L D G R A V E A A P L U S L I M I T E D S E R I E S : O P E N F L O W 0 1 TO ALLAH SWT T O A L L A H S W T # 0 1 Oh Allah. Oh Allah You're always so nice to me. Thank you for everything Even when I disobey you For every blessings For every love You showered me For being there beside me when I’m You have always been so generous gone When I don’t even remember You For taking care of me since the first day I'm in this world You always guide me through For every test You blessed me with When I feel like I’m lost For all the good people who always reminds me of You For the peace of heart You are always there for me Whenever I need You. And thank You for always making me feel home when You are with me. I love You more than everything in this world. You hear me You see me Nothing more that I want in this life You protect me from things that hurt than to always be in Your Blessings, me so much Guidance and Protection. You love me for who I am You embrace me with your love Oh Allah, bring all my love ones, and my You make me feel at peace with Your sisters in AA Plus into a place that has Blessing. been a dream for everyone, that is Jannah. Reunite us with our beloved But still, I make you mad and sad Rasulullah SAW. I still do a lot of sins Thank you. Oh Allah. Forgive me. - Adlina Rizal Forgive me for not being the best servant of Yours Forgive me for every sins I've committed Forgive me for being disobedient Forgive me for not remembering You sometimes P a g e 4 T O A L L A H S W T # 0 2 Ya Rabb, my Rabb. There's so much I want to say over this overwhelming indescribable feelings but I just can't point it. But Alhamdulillah, I know that You are All-Hearing. You hear me even without me saying it, You hear even it's in my thoughts/heart. But Alhamdulillah mostly on the fact that I got to know that You ARE All-Hearing. That You ARE always there for me. Alhamdulillah that I got to know You Ya Allah. Alhamdulilah I got to fall in love with your Divine Love and Care through Your Wonders. I realise much have changed in me. Subhanallah, knowing the state that I was in the past and now, all by the help of Him, who never, really, never leaves you Anna. Ya Rabb, how I can still be an ungrateful servant to You? Forgive me Ya Allah, forgive me and don't me leave me alone. Make me among those whom You love, make me fall in love with You and Prophet s.a.w. in every single moment, for You are in every single moment. Thank you, Ya Allah for the chance, for treading me in the path to get to know and fall in love with you. For I know, this is not a change of my own but it is Your touch in my life on learning how to love, first and foremost with myself for I've been careless with myself. I've been careless with what You've given me in everything. Alhamdulillah, I couldn't ask for a better gift. Thank you, Ya Rabb. - Deanna Rosli P a g e 5 T O A L L A H S W T # 0 3 Oh Allah, I smiled when the picture I chose is actually a letter to You, Ya Allah. I hesitated to join today's zoom call today at first because I don't want to sleep late at night. But You always know what I need and that is writing to You this letter, Oh Allah. Oh Allah, when I'm stuck and in need of help, You are always there, sending me strength and hope. You lift me up when I'm down. Oh Allah, my sins are as big as mountains. Sometimes, I wonder if You will ever forgive me. But time and time again, I'm reminded of Your Mercy and Forgiveness. Oh Allah, please forgive me. Guide me to love what You love and hate what You hate. Oh Allah, you always give me what I need. Thank you for that. Allow me to be a grateful servant of Yours and allow me to invite other people to be in this right path towards Jannatul Firdaus. Amin. ~ Maisarah Mohamad Zulkufli # 0 4 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.Ya Allah, it has been a while since I last spoke to You. Truly, You are the All-Knowing and You knew I was getting distracted from You. Ya Allah, thank you for giving me a second chance in life. Thank you for pulling me back to You, Ya Allah. Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t bear to love myself, and it felt like the whole world was turning their backs against me. Ya Allah, I feel You so much more now, and I realize it quicker now when You pull at my heartstrings to come speak to You. It’s still so difficult and I am still so weak, but You, You are the source of all strength. I feel so embarrassed sometimes, no, all the time when I falter and dare to forget You, the provider of life. But every single time I get distracted, every single time, You send a sign, You plant a seed in my heart, You call on me. And I pray Ya Allah, I truly pray that I don’t go astray again - because I know now how painful it is to live life closing my heart from receiving Your love. Please keep guiding me on Your path Ya Allah, Please never let me go Ya Allah. Please help me remain steadfast and close to You, and don’t ever let me forget the comfort I feel when I’m with You. Ameen Ya Rabbal Alamin. - Maryam P a g e 6 T O A L L A H S W T # 0 5 Dear The All-Merciful and All-Listening, The past few weeks have been exhausting and draining. I thought that I could go on, just hold on - I am just starting. But the battle is so hard. I’m just too tired to keep on being strong. I don’t feel the passion, I am lost - again. And the truth is, I keep on denying my feelings. I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable, and to just … feel. But then, as my world crumbles down, Your Light comes and shines the way. With Your Light, I feel warm and safe. I feel that it’s okay to say I am tired. With Your Grace, I feel that I can cry, I can whine, I can complain. Because I know You hold no judgement and You always listen. With Your Love, I feel the presence of You, Slowly filling up my empty and broken void Embracing me in my loneliness Allowing me to understand that Being with You is enough. O Allah, Embrace me with Your Light, with Your Grace, with Your Love Without You I am lost, without You I am empty But with You, I am home - Farah A. P a g e 7 T O A L L A H S W T # 0 6 Ya Allah, How writing, seeing, and saying your name makes my heart tremble. Just now I could feel You. How You send blessings through all these people Even for the late cat. It simply reminds me of You, My Rabb. O, Allah.. I really wanna be closer to you. But my actions didn't speak what I feel about You. My egoistic Nafs, keep on pushing You away. Like how every night You would wake me up. To see You. I am sorry My dear lover, My Lord, My Rabb.