OK, but THIS TIME with FEELING There You Go

Not Giving You No Lines And Keeping Our Hands To Ourselves

The REAL Fan’s Program Only

December 2nd, $3 2011

SecondCityHockey.com NBCChicago.com/MadhouseEnforcer [email protected]

Rick Geerling: Can You Help Corey Find Take Me Out With Frans This Isn’t What I Ordered His Game? Nielsen - page 12 - - page 8 - - page 10 - OK, BUT THIS TIME WITH FEELING There you go. No better way to sum up Tuesday’s deep just to make a road trip merely respectable. Think “effort,” than that. Congratulations, you huddled masses about how hard the Hawks had to fight in California of Hawks writers. You’re free to use the word “flat” and just to save any kind of face after the Trail of Tears in actually have it fit. While the lack of energy doesn’t Alberta. Once that was accomplished, an emotional explain everything that led to Tuesday’s loss, it certainly letdown wasn’t too far away. Not that it’s acceptable, but was a part. Throw out the thesauruses, you can use it’s explainable. your favorite adjective. While we don’t usually lower So a middling November is in the books, and the ourselves to grabbing whatever convenient excuse can Hawks enter the main course of the season after be picked off the discount shelves, this one might not be autumn’s appetizers. The loss to the Coyotes does il- totally dismissible. The Hawks have rarely had to dig so lustrate some problems the Hawks haven’t quite figured out answers for. That Part In The Movie Where They Shoot The Crow Our fearless editor engaged in yet another brain- numbing Twitter fight with the beaters before the game, the subject being the possible interest the Hawks might have in acquiring the then-shopped Bobby Ryan of Anaheim (and then Carlyle got fired and the whole point is moot, but fuck it). It devolved into a discussion about the Hawks’ need for a defensemen or two. That very well may be true, but was anyone talking about getting another blue-liner when Corey Crawford was playing well? Because that’s a major issue right now, and it reared its ugly head again when the Desert Dogs were urinating all over the United Center fire hydrant. While all the goals were tied to some pretty comedic defensive mistakes, the first goal was definitive. In a game where the Hawks had heavy legs, falling behind was always going to be killer -- especially when you consider just how hard the Coyotes are to come back against. The first goal did spring from a bad line change and there were some pretty nifty passes between Ray Whitney and Shane Doan to Daymond Langkow. But Langkow’s “So would you say you guys were flat on Tuesday?” “finish” was barely more than a suggestion of a shot, continued on page 14 - page 2 - FROM THE EDITOR Sometimes I forget that all of the 21,000 in the train even earlier than they normally might. VOL. IV, Issue #12 United Center are not season ticket holders. Tuesday The tickets would have been more expensive, was a perfect example. you’d have seen tons of fresh new jerseys everywhere Obviously, it was a dogshit game. There’s no way with the tags on them. The Score and ESPN 1000 The Committed Indian around that. But as the fandom got more and more would have been loaded with calls wondering why Established Oct. 31st, 2008 cantankerous, I was sort of curious why. I knew the the Hawks got rid of that By-foog-lien guy. A lot of us Hawks were liable to throw in a clunker after having would have been miserable. to scramble desperately just to avoid a disaster of a We like hockey partly because it comes without www.secondcityhockey.com Circus Trip. I knew they made the stupid decision to fly a lot of that. And we like the air of superiority in liking www.twitter.com/2ndcityhockey back right after the Kings game, leading to a Sunday something that not a lot of people like. Some of us where they probably didn’t get out of bed. I knew the don’t flaunt it like others and keep it hidden. But we Coyotes can be a particularly spikey opponent who don’t want to lose that. Publisher & Editor-In-Chief make things very difficult. So when things went off the Sure, it would have been good for my business. Sam “Puffy” Fels rails, I and my brother sort of shrugged and chalked it And maybe the only reason I’d want hockey to have up to one of those nights that the Hawks just lose. a broader appeal is maybe those that don’t like it Others around me were not so polite. There was wouldn’t be so quick to criticize why I watch it. It’s Columnists booing, calls for trades or heads or trades of heads or been slowly happening with another passion of mine, Chris Block whatever else. People left early. Some declared this soccer. The only people these days who call me a team “the suck.” At first, I was confused. queer for watching the real football (face it, it is) gener- The Fifth Feather But after all, I’m here for all 41 ally are old and fat. Pretty soon (aside from the occasional game they won’t even be around. against Scum where I feel my That’s really why I can do SecondCityHockey.com bloodlust is best kept away from without is the rancor that some- Matt McClure Scum fans). It’s just another game times exists between hockey and Matthew Killion for me. I know before the season basketball fans. I guess when two Adam Hacker that I’m going to watch a few sports inhabit the same building, putrid efforts. I accepted that long that sort of back-and-forth is a ago. I’ve paid for the season-long natural thing. Bulls fans will always Contributors journey. deride us as the racist minority, and Rich Lindbloom But I forgot that there were we’ll always call them sweater-vest far more for whom this was “their wearing ball-washers. It’s just how Jeff Bartl game.” They got their friends’ Sam Fels things go, I guess. Whatever, we Jake Berlin tickets, or nabbed them when they know they’ll be back when the Bulls went on sale, or however else. flame out to the Heat again once They planned a whole week around getting to one of Lebron starts guarding Rose one more time. Ombudsman the few Hawks games they’ll make it to. They probably But I’m glad to have basketball back. Not having Adam Fels looked forward to it all weekend. it around was throwing me off my rhythm. It’s what And then they got that. I guess I’d be pissed too. you grew up with, how things work. Sometimes I don’t Sometimes I miss the “game as event” feeling that want to watch hockey, just to take a night off. It’s just ChicagoNativeSon I had when I wasn’t a precious season reservation pleasant to have a good Bulls team around to be a John Schultz holder. I don’t always get the charge of heading down distraction if nothing else. to the UC and walking into the gates. But I suppose Oh, and my father is a huge basketball fan. A the emotional stability that I now I have is worth the winter without it very well may have killed him. So Content Editor trade off. there’s that. Nadyja Von Ebers

-A lot of people have been asking me what I -I know a lot of you are heading down to St. Louis think of the NBA lockout ending. I’m happy about it, tomorrow, if you’re not already there. When you go one reason being that the beer vendors and security to the game, make sure you pick up our blog blood Rights & Permissions guys here at the United Center (that I wrote about rival’s unofficial program. St. Louis Gametime. I know, All material printed herein is previously this season) now have the normal amount most of you have seen it when I’ve sent it out to my of work they’re accustomed to. They’re the ones who subscribers when the Hawks are down there and copyrighted and protected. Do actually get hurt by this sort of thing. don’t think it’s good. I mean, how could it be? There’s not reprint without expressed, As far as basketball returning, I know a lot of no way a bunch of toothless Missouri illiterates could written permission from hockey fans wanted to see what would happen to the write something as brilliant as this. That much is clear. Hawks’ and NHL’s popularity with no basketball inter- However, there are only a few people completely Committed Indian Publishing. ference. What kind of a world would it be if Sportcenter bonkers enough to do this: yours truly and the team of actually had to show hockey highlights in February unwashed llamas that produces Gametime. And you and March? I guess I was sort of curious too. should support them. Because they work just as hard Logos & Photos But let’s be honest here, none of us really wanted as I do, and they provide a lot of stuff that I steal and Team logos and pictures used that. Or at least most people who said they did didn’t. make actually funny. herein are the property of the Because hockey fans hate it when hockey goes main- When you’re headed to the DrinkScotch Center individual teams and/or the NHL stream in any way. You know this for a fact. How many tomorrow, Gametime has vendors on the southside of did you hear bitching about the bandwagon jumpers the arena, outside the opera house on 14th st., across and are used solely for identification during the Cup run? Everyone was doing it. Deep from the main entrance along the park fence on Clark and editorial purposes. down, you know you didn’t want those who claim to be and 14th, and I believe there’s two in the parking Bulls fans but really aren’t coming aboard the Hawks garage attached to the arena. So please, pick one up. - page 3 - NHL STANDINGS

Eastern Conference Western Conference ATLANTIC GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME ROAD CENTRAL GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME ROAD Pittsburgh 26 15 7 4 34 82 64 8-1-2 7-6-2 Jerkoffs 23 15 7 1 31 69 51 10-2-1 5-5-0 NY Rangers 22 14 5 3 31 65 49 7-1-1 7-4-2 HAWKS 25 14 8 3 31 80 78 7-2-2 7-6-1 Philadelphia 23 13 7 3 29 80 68 6-4-2 7-3-1 St. Louis 24 14 8 2 30 59 50 8-2-1 6-6-1 New Jersey 23 12 10 1 25 58 64 5-4-1 7-6-0 Nashville 25 12 9 4 28 66 68 4-3-3 8-6-1 NY Islanders 22 7 11 4 18 43 69 5-6-2 2-5-2 Columbus 25 7 15 3 17 59 82 5-7-1 2-8-2 NORTHEAST GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME ROAD NORTHWEST GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME ROAD Boston 23 15 7 1 31 81 50 9-5-1 6-2-0 Minnesota 25 15 7 3 33 60 55 9-4-1 6-3-2 Toronto 25 14 9 2 30 82 81 6-4-2 8-5-0 Vancouver 25 14 10 1 29 78 66 6-4-1 8-6-0 Buffalo 24 13 10 1 27 68 63 6-7-1 7-3-0 Edmonton 25 12 10 3 27 67 63 7-3-2 5-7-1 Ottawa 25 12 11 2 26 77 86 6-4-1 6-7-1 Colorado 25 11 13 1 23 68 74 5-9-0 6-4-1 Montreal 26 10 11 5 25 65 68 4-5-4 6-6-1 Calgary 24 10 12 2 22 54 64 5-5-2 5-7-0 SOUTHEAST GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME ROAD PACIFIC GP W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME ROAD Florida 25 13 8 4 30 68 62 5-2-4 8-6-0 Dallas 25 15 9 1 31 65 67 9-3-1 6-6-0 Washington 24 12 11 1 25 72 77 8-4-1 4-7-0 Los Angeles 25 13 8 4 30 59 56 8-6-1 5-2-3 Tampa Bay 24 11 11 2 24 65 76 7-3-0 4-8-2 San Jose 22 14 7 1 29 64 51 7-4-1 7-3-0 Winnipeg 25 10 11 4 24 71 80 6-4-0 4-7-4 Phoenix 24 13 8 3 29 65 58 6-4-2 7-4-1 Carolina 27 8 15 4 20 64 91 5-8-2 3-7-2 Anaheim 24 7 13 4 18 54 77 5-8-0 2-5-4

FORKLIFT’S TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP

Top 10 Best Things About Islanders New Look-a-Likes 3rd Jerseys 10. No chance of anyone buying Chinese knock-offs. 9. Hopefully this gets owner’s niece’s “I want to be a designer” bug out of her system. 8. Team name in block letters will spur nostalgia for old table hockey games. 7. They were never going to top Winnipeg’s “airplane humping a leaf” logo anyway. 6. They reflect the natural beauty of Nassau County. 5. They don’t induce cravings for fish sticks. 4. Easily modified to say “QUEBEC”, “SASKATOON” or “UNSPECIFIED TORONTO SUB- URB”. 3. The whole “Not Trying Hard” thing will come in handy next year when they’re the Brooklyn Rick Mr. Bill Hipsters. Dipietro 2. Everybody now owes Don Cherry’s suits an apology. Although Mr. Bill would probably end up with 1. Rick DiPietro’s contract no longer the ugliest thing the team has. more games played in a season. - page 4 - CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS

14-8-3

With a team playing as tightly in the neutral zone Phoenix was, it might not have been worst idea to another d-man out there who can move his feet. But it looks lik e Lepisto has a long way to go win Q over, if he can at all.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary/CapHit 19 C Captain Marvel 6' 2" 208 23 25 13 12 25 8 8 2 0 4 82 15.9 6.0M/6.3M 81 R Hossbollah 6' 1" 210 32 24 9 15 24 10 8 2 1 0 85 10.6 7.9M/5.2M 88 R Humpty Hump 5' 11" 181 22 25 7 17 24 9 20 1 0 1 81 8.6 6.0M/6.3M 10 L Sharp-Shooter "A" 6' 1" 199 29 25 11 12 23 10 20 2 0 1 92 12 4.2M/3.9M 8 D Nick Leddy 6' 0" 191 20 25 2 14 16 1 4 0 0 0 24 8.3 900K/1.1M 2 D The Flash "A" 6' 1" 200 28 22 2 13 15 1 4 0 0 0 54 3.7 8.0M/5.2M 25 L Vik Rattlehead 6' 3" 209 25 22 5 8 13 7 14 0 0 2 46 10.9 900K/875K 36 C Fabulous Weapon 6' 0" 184 25 21 7 3 10 -6 16 2 2 1 39 17.9 3.3M/3.3M 15 L Andrew Brunette 6' 1" 215 38 25 5 5 10 -8 0 4 0 0 36 13.9 2.0M/2.0M 5 D Steve Montador 6' 0" 210 31 25 4 5 9 1 9 2 0 1 32 12.5 4.6M/2.7M 67 L Michael Frolik 6' 1" 198 23 23 3 4 7 -5 8 0 0 0 54 5.6 3.0M/2.3M 13 L Car Bomb 6' 0" 203 26 20 2 5 7 6 45 0 0 0 22 9.1 775K/775K 16 C Dream Warrior 6' 0" 181 21 24 2 5 7 -4 8 0 0 0 29 6.9 715K/900K 7 D Biscuit 6' 3" 221 26 21 1 6 7 3 4 1 0 1 33 3 7.0M/5.8M 29 L Bryan Bickell 6' 4" 233 25 24 3 2 5 -8 12 0 0 0 32 9.4 541K/541K 22 R Jamal Mayers 6' 1" 222 36 25 2 2 4 -1 29 0 0 1 22 9.1 550K/550K 6 D Old Donald 6' 2" 238 39 17 0 3 3 -4 6 0 0 0 12 0 850K/850K 4 D Super Nintendo Hjalmers 6' 3" 207 24 25 0 2 2 4 2 0 0 0 29 0 3.5M/3.5M 20 D Sami Lepisto 6' 1" 193 26 8 0 0 0 4 4 0 0 0 8 0 750K/750K 28 R Agent Smith 5' 11" 207 23 2 0 0 0 -3 0 0 0 0 4 0 605K/812K 32 D John Scott 6' 8" 270 29 13 0 0 0 -2 4 0 0 0 4 0 512K/512K TOTALS/AVERAGES 6’ 1” 208.5 27.1 3.12/g +5 9.4/g 16 3 33.2/g 9.3

How many practices has Bolland missed now? If he’s that hurt, might not it be a good idea to let him heal How many practices has Bolland missed now? If he’s and worry about later battles?

The shot differential from this to those given up per game is larger than it ever was last year. Leads you to believe the defense isn’t as bad as you’ve been told, but the goaltending is worse. Also might mean that once Crow rediscovers his game, things are going to look awfully different.

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI GS Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary/Cap Hit 50 Corey Crawford 6' 2" 208 26 21 20 1215 2.86 11 7 2 0 571 58 .898 0 0 0 3.2M/2.6M 30 Razor 6' 2" 196 29 6 5 307 3.52 3 1 1 0 146 18 .877 0 0 0 600K/600K TOTALS/AVERAGES 6’ 2” 202 27.5 3.04 14 8 3 0 28.3g 76 .894 0 0 0

INJURY LIST LEAGUE SALARY CAP $64,300,000 TEAM CAP NUMBER $61,271,794 CAP SPACE* $3,028,206 *Space also affected by buyouts and injured players - page 5 - POTVIN SUCKS 7-11-4

Next time someone drones on about Bickell being one of the best values in the league, here’s a nice counter argument.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary/CapHit 15 R PA Parenteau 6' 0" 193 28 22 3 13 16 -6 15 0 0 1 39 7.7 1.2M/1.2M 91 C John Tavares "A" 6' 0" 206 21 22 8 8 16 -4 10 4 0 1 78 10.3 900K/3.7M 26 L Matt Moulson 6' 1" 205 28 22 8 5 13 0 2 2 0 2 47 17 2.5M/3.1M 2 D Mark Streit "C" 5' 11" 193 33 22 2 10 12 -9 18 1 0 0 41 4.9 4.1M/4.1M 40 R Michael Grabner 6' 0" 185 24 22 7 4 11 -3 8 1 1 1 50 14 1.0M/3.0M 51 C Frans Nielsen 6' 0" 184 27 22 4 6 10 1 0 0 0 1 32 12.5 550K/525K 11 R Brian Rolston "A" 6' 2" 215 38 20 3 3 6 -4 4 0 0 1 44 6.8 5.0M/5.0M 12 C Josh Bailey 6' 1" 190 22 22 2 4 6 -5 10 1 0 0 19 10.5 800K/1.0M 21 R Kyle Okposo "A" 6' 0" 205 23 19 2 4 6 -7 6 1 0 0 32 6.3 1.0M/2.8M 17 L Matt Martin 6' 3" 210 22 22 2 2 4 -4 43 0 0 0 46 4.3 615K/852K 24 D Steve Staios "A" 6' 1" 200 38 22 0 3 3 -3 27 0 0 0 29 0 800K/800K 3 D Travis Hamonic 6' 2" 203 21 22 0 2 2 -10 24 0 0 0 32 0 875K/875K 27 D Milan Jurcina 6' 4" 253 28 13 0 2 2 -4 6 0 0 0 26 0 1.6M/1.6M 4 D Mark Eaton 6' 1" 215 34 16 0 1 1 -1 4 0 0 0 13 0 3.0M/2.5M 16 C Marty Reasoner 6' 1" 205 34 19 0 1 1 -14 12 0 0 0 25 0 1.3M/1.3M 29 L Jay Pandolfo 6' 1" 190 36 21 1 0 1 -5 4 0 0 0 11 9.1 600K/600K 41 L David Ullstrom 6' 2" 195 22 5 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 637K/891K

47 D Andrew MacDonald 6' 1" 196 25 22 1 0 1 -9 10 1 0 0 23 4.3 550K/550K

10 D Mike Mottau 6' 0" 190 33 15 0 0 0 -6 15 0 0 0 6 0 950K/800K 18 L Micheal Haley 5' 10" 204 25 3 0 0 0 0 7 0 0 0 2 0 550K/550K 25 R Nino Niederreiter 6' 2" 205 19 4 0 0 0 -5 2 0 0 0 3 0 900K/2.7M TOTALS/AVERAGES 6’ 1” 202.0 27.6 1.96/g -21 10.9/g 11 1 28.4/g 6.8

People are falling in love with saying his name, but he’s had a tough time of it this year, being a healthy had a tough time of it this year, People are falling in love with saying his name, but he’s scratch a couple times. Still lot of promise, but long way to go. The Isles 43 goals is nine less than the 29th placed team in the league. Generally, a shooting percentage this low is not sustainable and can be chalked up somewhat to bad luck. Here, it just might be a lack of finishers. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI GS Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary/Cap Hit 35 Al Montoya 6’ 2” 203 26 9 8 523 2.07 4 3 1 0 270 18 .933 0 0 2 601K/601K 20 Evgeni Nabokov ** 6’ 0” 200 36 8 8 382 2.83 1 5 0 0 201 18 .910 0 0 0 570K/570K 39 Humpty Dumpty 6’ 1” 190 30 7 5 314 3.44 2 2 3 0 156 18 .885 0 2 0 4.5M/4.5M TOTALS/AVERAGES 6’ 1” 198 30.2 3.09 7 11 4 0 31.2/g 68 .913 0 2 2

INJURY LIST LEAGUE SALARY CAP $64,300,000 EVGENI NABOKOV - OUT (Lower body) TEAM CAP NUMBER $49,889,292 MARK EATON - OUT (Knee) CAP SPACE* $14,410,708 ANDREW MACDONALD - QUESTIONABLE (Knee) *Space also affected by buyouts and injured players - page 6 -

Tonight's Lineup BLACKHAWKS

THE FORWARDS Jonathan We saw the Rattlehead with Viktor Patrick the kids movie last year, and it STALBERG TOEWS KANE wasn’t cracking 50% on Rotten #25 #19 #88 Tomatoes. Stals is a different 5 G, 8 A, 13 Pts 13 G, 12 A, 25 Pts player this year, but he won’t 7 G, 17 A, 24 Pts have Hossa to help with the Plus/Minus: +7 Plus/Minus: +8 Plus/Minus: +9 forechecking now. We shall see.

Marian Hard to argue Kruger hasn’t at Patrick Marcus least earned a look here. With SHARP KRUGER HOSSA Hossa’s power game and what #10 #16 #81 we think might be Kruger’s 11 G, 12 A, 23 Pts 2 G, 5 A, 7 Pts 9 G, 15 A, 24 Pts vision, Sharp should have a lot of soft areas to ghost into. If Plus/Minus: +10 Plus/Minus: -4 Plus/Minus: +10 Kruger can find him...

Dave Getting the band back together, Brian Michael but all three of these guys need BICKELL BOLLAND FROLIK to find a clue. Bolland is almost #29 #36 #67 certainly still hurt, but the other 7 G, 3 A, 10 Pts two? Need to concentrate on 3 G, 2 A, 5 Pts 3 G, 4 A, 7 Pts defense first, and hopefully the Plus/Minus: -8 Plus/Minus: -6 Plus/Minus: -5 rest will follow.

Andrew Jamal Daniel Car Bomb back where he be- BRUNETTE MAYERS CARCILLO longs, but Bruno is still a rough #22 #13 fit here. Eventually replaces #15 Stals in the top six is our guess 5 G, 5 A, 10 Pts 2 G, 2 A, 4 Pts 2 G, 5 A, 7 Pts when Q gets frustrated with Plus/Minus: -8 Plus/Minus: -1 Plus/Minus: +6 Stalberg. THE DEFENSEMEN Duncan Brent KEITH SEABROOK At least Q didn’t respond to a #2 #7 poor defensive effort by splitting 2 G, 13 A, 15 Pts 1 G, 6 A, 7 Pts these two up. Plus/Minus: +1 Plus/Minus: +3

Niklas Nick Our editor caught some flack on Second City Hockey.com for HJALMARSSON LEDDY suggesting it was time to cut #4 #8 bait with Hammer. But we have 0 G, 2 A, 2 Pts 2 G, 14 A, 16 Pts one season of very good play and now a season and a quar- Plus/Minus: +4 Plus/Minus: +1 ter of pretty bad. What is it?

Sean Steve Really, Lepisto should get another run out because O’DONNELL MONTADOR O’Donnell hasn’t done that #6 #5 much to stay in the lineup, and 0 G, 3 A, 3 Pts 4 G, 5 A, 9 Pts Old Donald would be better used for what will be a spikey Plus/Minus: -4 Plus/Minus: +1 affair in The Lou tomorrow. STARTING GOALTENDER Corey CRAWFORD Needs to find his game, maybe Q #50 didn’t want him facing a hot Blues team tomorrow and ruin his confidence any Record 11-7-2 more. .898 Sv%, 2.86 GAA - page 7 -

Tonight'sTonight’s LineupLineup OpponentISLANDERS

THE FORWARDS Matt John PA Bolland’s line got pretty well horsed by the Whitney-Vrbata MOULSON TAVARES PARENTEAU “Axis of Death” on Tuesday. #26 #91 # This would seem a line they 8 G, 5 A, 13 Pts 8 G, 8 A, 16 Pts 3 G, 13 A, 16 Pts could handle now that the band is back together, but Tavares Plus/Minus: 0 Plus/Minus: -4 Plus/Minus: -6 can’t be given any space.

Michael Frans Kyle The Isles expect so much more from Okposo, but with Nielsen’s GRABNER NIELSEN OKPOSO IQ and Grabner’s speed you’d #40 #51 #21 think he’d find some room. 7 G, 4 A, 11 Pts 4 G, 6 A, 10 Pts 2 G, 4 A, 6 Pts Wonder if Capuano tries to get them out against Toews and Plus/Minus: -3 Plus/Minus: +1 Plus/Minus: -7 Kane.

David Josh Brian Rolston was thought to be a player who could provide an ex- ULLSTROM BAILEY ROLSTON ample to the kids, but Isles fans #41 #12 #11 have been none too pleased 0 G, 1 A, 1 Pts 2 G, 4 A, 6 Pts 3 G, 3 A, 6 Pts with his habit of cutting corners and taking shifts off. Looks like Plus/Minus: 0 Plus/Minus: -5 Plus/Minus: -4 the clock is about to strike zero.

Matt Marty Nino A member of our staff looked MARTIN REASONER NIEDERREITER at Martin’s picture and could #17 #16 #25 swear he bought a dime bag off 2 G, 2 A, 4 Pts 0 G, 1 A, 1 Pts 0 G, 0 A, 0 Pts him at a Corrosion Of Confor- Plus/Minus: -4 Plus/Minus: -14 Plus/Minus: -5 mity show. THE DEFENSEMEN Mark Steve Streit’s plus-minus looks awful, but Isle observers say it has to STREIT STAIOS do with dragging the cadaver #2 #24 next to him around. Staios 2 G, 10 A, 12 Pts 0 G, 3 A, 3 Pts looked finished last year, appar- ently not much has changed. Plus/Minus: -9 Plus/Minus: -3 Kill! MacDonald might not go after Andrew Travis leaving their last game against MACDONALD HAMONIC Buffalo. Oh, and that dude #47 #3 getting smoked for Sidney Crosby’s first goal on his 1 G, 0 A, 1 Pts 0 G, 2 A, 2 Pts return? That was MacDonald. Plus/Minus: -9 Plus/Minus: -10 Scorchable. If he doesn’t go, rookie Dylan Reese will. Mike Milan Good lord, if Bolland and Co. MOTTAU JURCINA can’t get it together when they #10 #27 get looks at these two construc- 0 G, 0 A, 0 Pts 0 G, 2 A, 2 Pts tion horses, you might want to Plus/Minus: -6 Plus/Minus: -4 pack up the cats. STARTING GOALTENDER

Al The biggest threat is Montoya stealing MONTOYA it tonight, which he did last out in Buf- #35 falo. Those are some pretty gaudy stats Record 4-3-1 he’s toting around, be it in only nine .933 Sv%, 2.07 GAA appearances. - page 8 - Can You Help Crow Find His Game Again?

Oh no! It’s T.J. Oshie finding too much room far side!

Ok, let’s find my angles!

Drats! It’s Rene Bourque exposing my far side again!

Nuts, it’s Leddy staring blankly at a rebound. Look at that gape! You could fly the Goodyear Blimp into there!

Stop dropping your glove hand, this isn’t a fucking slot machine! Good god, it’s another failed clearance by Hammer! Friends like these, eh? Maybe he’ll hit the guy who took the puck. And maybe salsa dancing monkeys will fly out of my ass!

We did it! Our reward is Patrick Sharp’s soft caress! Uh oh, the press is no longer covering for Happy days! me! C’mon guys, you know it’s all Montador and his evil free agent contract’s fault! - page 9 - RUSTLERS, CUT-THROATS, MURDERERS, HEDLEY BOUNTY HUNTERS, DESPERADOS, MUGS, PUGS, LAMARR’S THUGS, NITWITS, HALFWITS AND DIMWITS DOUcHEBAG DU JOUR Matt Martin - Best We Can Do, Islanders With drooling thug Trevor Gillies off in Bridgeport in the AHL, this is the Isles leader in fights and penalty minutes. He’s had five scraps this season, but hasn’t won any of them according to Hockey Fights.com. Martin played a role in that abomination against the Penguins last year, as pretty much every Islander did. But Martin won’t find anyone to engage on the Hawks unless Mayers or Carcillo feel like getting the team going, and Martin’s much bigger than either of those.

OTHER ANTAGONISTS Kyle Okposo At least he used to be a red-ass. Hasn’t shown that snarl this season, may be protecting the shoulder injury from last year. The league has figured out he won’t fight and thus won’t put up with him being too physical. But maybe playing with some hair on his ass would help his offensive game. Travis Hamonic Two scraps this year. A big d-man who will keep Montoya’s crease clear.

Pat Lafontaine Who cares if he doesn’t play anymore, still one of the biggest pansies to grace the league. Eddie Belfour’s Hall of Fame speech should have just been him clearing out Lafontaine one more time.

POWER PLAY PENALTY KILL adjusted for short-handed goals against adjusted for short-handed goals for Team Opp PPG SHGA PP% Team Opp PPG SHGA PP% Team TS PPGA SHG PK% Team TS PPGA SHG PK% VAN 105 27 2 23.8% NYI 72 11 0 15.3% NJD 89 5 3 97.8% COL 85 16 3 84.7% COL 83 19 1 21.7% DAL 79 12 0 15.2% PIT 88 9 4 94.3% VAN 98 15 0 84.7% TOR 94 22 2 21.3% BUF 87 16 3 14.9% PHX 76 8 2 92.1% CAR 97 20 5 84.5% EDM 100 21 1 20.0% PHI 108 19 3 14.8% MTL 104 11 2 91.3% STL 84 16 2 83.3% SJS 81 16 1 18.5% ANA 93 16 4 12.9% BUF 89 11 2 89.9% WPG 119 22 2 83.2% OTT 85 17 2 17.6% TBL 87 14 3 12.6% LAK 102 15 3 88.2% TBL 101 17 0 83.2% BOS 85 15 0 17.6% MIN 97 14 2 12.4% MIN 93 15 4 88.2% WSH 87 16 1 82.8% LAK 100 18 1 17.0% WSH 89 14 4 11.2% BOS 87 13 2 87.4% NYI 79 15 1 82.3% PIT 109 20 2 16.5% CGY 80 10 2 10.0% EDM 106 16 2 86.8% DET 86 17 1 81.4% DET 98 19 3 16.3% CBJ 111 14 3 9.9% ANA 111 15 0 86.5% OTT 112 23 2 81.3% NSH 92 17 2 16.3% PHX 77 9 2 9.1% DAL 111 19 4 86.5% CGY 85 16 0 81.2% CHI 95 16 1 15.8% CAR 121 14 4 8.3% PHI 109 18 3 86.2% CBJ 83 20 3 79.5% FLA 103 18 2 15.5% MTL 102 12 4 7.8% NYR 86 13 1 86.0% SJS 68 16 2 79.4% WPG 91 16 2 15.4% STL 80 7 2 6.3% NSH 100 17 3 86.0% TOR 96 22 2 79.2% NYR 91 14 0 15.4% NJD 82 10 6 4.9% FLA 71 12 2 85.9% CHI 75 19 3 78.7% - page 10 - SPOTLIGHT

Islanders fans, all six of ‘em, were making a case last year that if the Selke Trophy had anything to do with the actual best defensive forward and not just some star forward who happens to play defense, that Frans Nielsen should have been a candidate. While you may make a face, that was actually a valid claim. We don’t expect most voters to look at our favored, flavored metrics that we love so, but Nielsen ended up a +13 -- a stat we know they do look at. And that’s with a team that didn’t have a goalie or a defense. Nielsen also ended up with seven shorthanded goals, another category that voters look at that doesn’t mean all that much. The most whopping stat was that Nielsen skated 2:59 of shorthanded time per game. Nielsen ended up finishing sixth, so it wasn’t as ridiculous as say....Nick Lidstrom’s complete joke of a Norris. Nielsen may have a better case this time if the trends of this season continue. His quality of competition is up, his quality of teammates is down, and his Behind The Net Rating is also improved from the last campaign. However, coach Jack Capuano appears more intent on turning Nielsen into an offensive threat, as Marty Reasoner or Jay Pandolfo have been trusted with the pure checking duties. It’s going to be hard for Nielsen to beome that threat, unless Kyle Okposo discovers his game. Okposo has been dragging down Nielsen’s line, which landed him in the press box. Lately, Nielsen has gotten the treat of getting Michael Grabner as a winger, and there may not be a faster pair of forwards that you haven’t heard of. They also kill penalties together, and while Nielsen was pouring in eight shorties last year, Grabner had six of his own. If Keith or Leddy fall asleep on the power play, or Patrick Sharp or Dave Bolland get isolated as forwards masquer- ading as pointmen, these two can make the Hawks pay before you’ve even had a chance to call for a trade. Nielsen might be the smartest player the Islanders have, you’ll always find him in the right spot. If the Isles can solve their #2 center problems one day, or if Josh Bailey becomes that answer, Nielsen and Tavares will make the Islanders awfully strong down the middle. It may be awfully strong down the middle in Kansas City, but strong nonetheless. - page 11 - KNOW THY ENEMY

Tonight’s guest is Dominik from Lighthouse Hockey.com in our first viewing, but the progress seems to have stalled. Never going to be anything or is there another jump? What sort of black magic or deal with the beyond did the Isles make to get this I wish I knew. He deserved to be scratched in October every bit as much as Comeau performance from Al Montoya? or Okposo did, but we figured because he’s a center Capuano couldn’t afford it. If the penance for having the NHL’s last true dynasty (Thank you, Steve Smith. And (Then Capuano went ahead and scratched Reasoner. So much for that theory.) Detroit ... that two in a row sure was cute) is 25 years of decline and crooked politi- Bailey has really nice hands, but he uses them to pass first way too much. He’s the cians keeping a new arena from ever happening, then I figure Al Montoya’s arrival one player you actually don’t mind the blind masses shouting “SHOOOOOOOOT” is at least a bone thrown from the hockey gods for our putting up with Milbury or at 10 times a game. He’s looked a little better since being separated from fellow the voodoo run of injuries that hit Rick DiPietro ever since he said “15 years sounds enigma Blake Comeau, but who knows. I think there will be a jump, but at best it will great.” be to “nice third-line center for that price.”

When we look at Kyle Okposo, we used to squint real hard and see the kind of So much hinges on John Tavares, who had 67 points last year that no one power forward that makes all hockey fans need a smoke. But last year there seems to know about. Is he about ready to announce his presence on the NHL was the shoulder injury, and a horrific start this year. What’s the deal? with authority? Yeah, we did, too. Okposo is still probably going to be a very solid all-around player, I thought he announced it with 16 points in his first 16 games this season, but ap- but everyone needs to dial back expectations and realize: 1) He’s no sniper, and 2) parently the rest of the league heard. They’ve been checking him really tight, yet he He’ll engage, but he won’t fight or go looking for hits. It’s just not in him. What’s left still gets chances every night. His skating and faceoffs have improved over last year, is still pretty nice, but it’s a player who needs to find his identity, which is probably so he’s one of those phenoms who really can make strides each year. He’s a little why Jack Capuano scratched him for a week near the end of November. (He joins streaky, but I’ll be stunned if he doesn’t break 70 points this year. Blake Comeau, Marty Reasoner and Nino Niederreiter in getting a run of scratches to reconsider his game. It’s just something Capuano is doing these days.) If you had to handicap it, how many years away are the Islanders from not just scratching into the playoffs but being a genuine Eastern threat? What more do Travis Hamonic’s +/- is ugly, but upon further digging he’s facing the tough- they need? est competition on the team and has the highest relative CORSI next to Streit. Three years. They should be in the playoff bubble next season and the season after, What’s the real truth here, is he the building block on the back? maybe even making it once or twice. In that time they’ll need to get some of those Yes, Hamonic is outstanding, and along with unsung partner Andrew MacDonald he classic painful playoff lessons. By three years from now, Tavares will be entering faces each team’s Ovechkin every night. MacDonald’s coming off hip surgery, so we his prime, several good forward and defense prospects should be ripe, and maybe think that’s slowed both of them a little bit this year, but Hamonic is the real deal. If they’ll even be close enough where Garth Snow Charles Wang feel comfortable the Islanders used him instead of the Ghost of Brian Rolston on the powerplay point, losing yet more money to add some overpaid help. Hamonic might even be collecting points. Of course, that will be the final year of their awful leas on the awful Nassau Coli- Time for what’s become our yearly Josh Bailey update. We liked this kid a lot seum, so they’ll be ready to leap into a new building ... somewhere.

HAWKS VS ISLES: THE LAST FOUR

January 9th, 2011 March 15th, 2009 Isles 0 - Hawks 5 Isles 4 - Hawks 2 Hawks are stonewalled 40 times by One of the few laughers the Hawks could provide last year, as they Peter Mannino. Peter Mannino. Yes, explode for four goals in the 2nd he’s taking your money in Lot A right now. from Hossa, Kane, Bolland, and Hammer. Yes, Hammer. March 2nd, 2010 October 31st, 2006 Hawks 2 - Isles 5 Hawks 2 - Isles 5 First game after the Olympic Break, but Denis Arkhipov scored. Need we say Hawks aren’t there. Another Huet special, more? which started the usual March Doldrums. Hawks concede four in the 2nd. as Blake Comeau nets a hattie. Hey, there’s a theme here... - page 12 -

Top Geerling

Not Quite Right

“We were all at once terribly alone; and alone we must see it through.” We have the pieces. Would I take Bobby Ryan on my team? Good Lord, - Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front yes. But do we need to gaze upon him as some sort of miracle come to spirit us away? No. Let me put it plainly: you cannot put together an all-star What is it that we are waiting for here? Who is it we are waiting on to team; hoping for it anyway is the definition of idiocy. How many all-star cali- come take us to that next stage? Are we simply trying to tread in place? Not ber players do we already have on the roster? Toews, Kane, Hossa, Sharp, give a shit for a few nights, then turn it back on when we absolutely have Bolland, Keith, Seabrook…how many more do there need to be before it is to? accepted as good enough? How many all-star caliber players do, say, the What happened to the forecheck? That is rhetorical; “defense first” tends Penguins have; five? Or the Wild; two or three? Or Detroit; five or six? to have these sorts of casualties. But we have two of the best, most relent- I repeat: what the fuck is it that we are waiting for here? less forecheckers in the league with Toews and Hossa…and we are not I will be honest: I am tired of this shit. I saw this movie last year. I do going to use them? Kane and Sharp are not half bad either; nor is Bolland. not care what the standings say; we are not playing well enough. We lack And yet, because our defense, while having individual standouts, is appar- hunger. What else is there to motivate this team? Bag skates? Yelling? ently roundly incompetent, this ever dangerous weapon has been neutral- Speeches? This is not peewee hockey; this is the NHL. You are out there to ized by our own hand. do your job and win games. You are not out there to half-ass or play strong And what happened with this defensive corps? We came into the sea- in losses or look tired after a road trip. I am tired of excuses. And I certainly son, at least on paper, with the strong defensive depth we do not just mean from the team and staff. On paper, this is haven’t had in years. Enough people have already called for one of the top two or three teams in the league; start acting Hjalmarsson’s head; I do not need to join the mob chorus, like it. though I may not disagree with them. And this is coming Stop having mental lapses. Stop playing soft and easy. from someone who was previously one of his biggest fans. Stop expecting victories. What other top echelon teams do Add Montador to that list, as it becomes increasingly harder you see doing this? Especially now going on the second to defend his positional play every time he wipes out on season in a row? On paper, we should be killing people. his skates. Though I will still take that over the bear-on-a- And Jesus Christ, as much as I hate to say this, that unicycle skating style of our dear John Scott. makes me think I am starting to understand how some So who is it we expect to come in and save us? Yet Canucks fans feel. another piece on defense? We will then have to admit that Rick Geerling Do we want to become the new Paper Champions? Do making a sacrifice and matching Hjlamarsson’s offer sheet we want to permanently replace our swagger with entitle- a few years back was a mistake; as was signing most of ment? Because that is the road I currently see us heading these defensive free agents this past off season. Are we prepared for that down. Is it going to take our backs being put against the wall every time for big of a “whoops” moment? And who comes in to help an offense which is us to give a damn? not getting the sort of scoring spread it has become accustomed to? Bobby This team and franchise need to be held to a higher standard of excel- Ryan? For some reason that feels like panic beneath the guise of “the rich lence. Forget about adding new pieces; I do not care what someone’s get richer.” paycheck or stat sheet looks like, if they do not want to play to that standard There are two items here. then remove them. If all-star caliber players do not want to play to an all-star Number one is that Stan Bowman does not strike me as the sort of caliber or role players do not want to play their roles, then we find someone person who is going to go out and make a massive move like signing who will. There is absolutely no reason we should panic; but maybe it would Bobby Ryan or a name defensive player because his team is having some not hurt to be a little more cutthroat. Healthy scratching players or dressing struggles. Everything in his history with this team, albeit a short one, has Scott ahead of them is only a start to making a point. pointed in the exact opposite direction. To answer my previous question: maybe it is time we become prepared Number two is that we have been floating around the top of the team for some “whoops” moments. If it is, we had better damn well learn our standings for some time now. Granted, with a two or three game losing lessons from them. In no way do I think only the players need to be held streak we can suddenly find ourselves dropped a number of spots, but it is to a higher standard. It goes for them, the coaches, the front office, the still difficult to entirely rationalize full-on panic when, points-wise, your team beat writers, the non-professional writers, and the fans. All of us. Someone is not looking all that bad. And if this team keeps up its current mentality of mentioned the other night how convenient it is for fans to say “us” when the “give enough of a shit when it is needed to get by” then they should keep Hawks are winning and “them” when they are struggling; end that. It is all of hanging around somewhere with a pretty decent view. us and only us. No one else is coming to the rescue, nor should they be. These two things combine to make me think no one is coming to the res- I do not want this team to continue playing like the Chicago Blackhawks. cue. No new superstar is coming; no new coach is coming; no new captains I want them to return to playing like the Chicago fucking Blackhawks. are coming; and no one else is coming to try and make us give more of a shit. It is us and only us. And frankly? I would prefer it no other way. Before Rick Geerling has a fatal stroke, you can reach him at rick. No one else got us into this mess. No one else half-assed games for us. [email protected] No one else can take the blame. - page 13 - - page 14 - The Crow Cannot Rest (continued from page 1) least one bad goal. That loss in Calgary would not have looked nearly as bad, or might Mountains that is Sharp-Toews-Kane (though not tonight). It’s worth a shot now to see not have even been a loss, if Crawford and his protractor were on speaking terms if it’s an answer for the season, or if it’s another hole that will have to be addressed. these days. All of his angles were bad, which led to three goals scored off a rush from However, the Hawks biggest problem among the forwards is that when Toews or the wing. Hossa or Sharp or Kane isn’t carrying them, no one else is. We have to guess with the A lot of the Hawks’ defensive coverage issues are starting to look like the issues amount of “maintenance” days that Dave Bolland is taking, he’s not healthy. It’s a lot they had when they had lost faith in Cristobal Huet or Marty Turco. The collapsing more reassuring to think that than he’s not giving the proper shit in the regular season, too deeply into the house speaks of a team that’s afraid to let a shot through or more which has happened before. Whatever it is, the Hawks have no third line right now. accurately, a team afraid to not be there when an inevitable rebound is produced from It’s not even checking. Bolland’s line got housed by Vrbata, Handzal, and Whitney that shot. The hurried clearances out of the zone speak of a team panicking about a on Tuesday. That’s not the first time. It’s an odd fit right now, but Bolland needs to be consistent assault. We’ve seen it before. better. If he’s better, those with him will be too. That’s not to say Crawford is Huet or Turco. At this moment, you can only call it a And the Hawks still struggle with those who restrict their ice and make them play a slump. It’s a month of bad play after five or six of more than solid work. But the holes boring game. Who’s going to retrieve a dump-in on this team? Who can make d-men in his game are clear. wince at what might be behind them when they turn their back to get the puck? In all Where to start? How about that glove hand that’s spending too much time fondling honesty, with the roster as it’s currently constructed, Ben Smith somewhere on the top his left hip? Watch Crow, and before a shot he’ll be carrying that hand high. But as the three lines might make more sense than Carcillo. shot is released he’s dropping it, forcing him to bring it right back, usually a second too And yet still, the Hawks are at the top of the Western Conference. Perspective late. This is why you see him losing a lot of pucks out of his glove as he’s flapping that may be in order. hand like he’s got a horsefly at his left ear. Those pucks need to be sucked up, and We Must Defeat The Isle, No Matter What The Cost May Be right now that windmill looks like a pitching machine. Sure, it leads to what look like December kicks off with the visit of the constant rebuild that is the New York some spectacular glove saves, but they’re in the same category as Aramis Ramirez Islanders. The Isle didn’t waste any time this season dumpster-diving in the Eastern trying to make every ground ball look like a heroic display of defense by waiting long Conference, where they quickly found bottom. They have a nasty habit of piling up the enough to dive at something (and even then he rarely gets to it. You won’t be missed, losses when things go pear-shaped, and have managed streaks of finishing second of A-Ram). six and four games already this year. We discussed on Tuesday how Crow is struggling with this new, more aggressive But the men of Nassau have won their last two games, and we have to start with style that he wants to employ. He wants to get out to challenge shooters, he wants the glorious, back up in your ass with the resurrection of Al Montoya (according to our to cut down angles. But that’s not how he’s played his whole career. He seems to be columnist Matt McClure, every beer league player in the Chicago area has a “I made having a tough time with seeing shots from an area he’s never seen them before, i.e. Montoya look like a clown in net” story about the local product). He’s only started eight a foot or two closer. He’s moving to cover for passes from an area he’s not used to oc- games this season, but has been utterly brilliant in all of them. That followed a more cupying. He hasn’t adjusted to what his new angles are from farther out in the crease. than acceptable 20-game audition at the end of last year. You may remember Montoya And now his confidence is low. But with his size, does he really need to venture so far as one of the many who were going to save the New York Rangers from themselves out? before he’d ever played a game. We’ll understand if you get him confused with Manny It is more likely that Crawford will work himself out of this than he won’t, but how Malhotra or Pavel Brendl, they were others. Montoya never really got a shot with the long can the Hawks wait? The Western Conference is already jumbled, and another Rangers, Henrik Lundqvist kind of took that mantle and has been, y’know, ok since. month of mediocrity would plunge the Hawks deep into the muck. The answer has got Montoya was then moved to Phoenix for a whole lot of nothing, but of course Ilya to be soon, because no matter what the Hawks do, they can’t survive bad goaltending. “Why Do You Heff To Stop Puck In Philly” Bryzgalov was there. Maybe this is all just a They can survive mediocre, but not bad. The perceived problems may look awfully flash, but Montoya is (unbelievably) only 26 and may just be shining in what should be different if Crow finds his game again. the prime of his career after finally getting a chance. He’s younger than Crawford. Boxing Carcillo There are other pieces here too, if the Hawks fall asleep and don’t take them Another issue at the heart of the aforementioned Twitter slapfight was the Hawks seriously. John Tavares is Exhibit A. Tavares had 67 points you never heard about last problems among their top six forwards. It’s easy to point to the Hawks standing among season, spent the summer working on his skating, and is finding himself with more the league’s leading scorers, their possession of four players at or near a point-per- space to work with this year. The point-total might not suggest it, but Tavares isn’t game, and think that everything is ok among the forwards. It most certainly is not. too far away from announcing himself in the upper-echelon of the league. Scrapheap Be honest, what did you first think when the signing of Dan Carcillo was an- pickup All-Star Michael Grabner is using his ridiculous speed to head toward another nounced? Probably something along the lines of a nutcase who could provide energy 25+ goal season. Matt Moulson might grab himself another 30 goals as well. And PA on the fourth line but would be no more than a 13th forward and if there was an injury Parenteau is just fun to say. Go ahead, try it. Isn’t it? crisis or some special set of game situations, he could do a job on the top six for a However, the Islanders have been let down by what they thought was their build- game or two. You probably thought he’d be a healthy scratch for a fair amount of ing block next to Tavares in Kyle Okposo. Okposo, during his rookie year, looked like a games. You didn’t think it would be a 20-game stint on Kane’s wing, did you? budding, red-assed, skull-stomping, shin-kicking, no-kissing-that’s-gay power forward Carcillo was a nice surprise there for a bit. But that’s over, and it’s time to return you dream about. Last season was cut short by a shoulder injury, but that didn’t stop him to the fourth line duties that he’s built for. He’s not that fast, he isn’t being that the Isle from inking him to a new deal this summer. And he’s been awful, to the tune of physical and with his size and speed it’s a question of how much that can be, and being a healthy scratch for three straight games recently. he’s saving his annoying traits for only when games are hopelessly lost. That doesn’t There’s a reason that the Islanders hover amongst the shit-eating vermin and exactly help. insects of the NHL. While Travis Hamonic might have a bright future, and Mark Streit Same with Viktor Stalberg. Though he belongs more up there than Carcillo, it still is still a nifty puck-mover, they’re dragging around Steve Staios, Milan Jurcina, and doesn’t feel like a long-term solution. He’s doing everything right, and is trying to be a forward corps that isn’t exactly boned up on its defensive assignments. After the a physical force, but that may belong more on Bolland’s line where Bryan Bickell has promising young forwards, there’s the burnt remains of Brian Rolston, Jay Pandolfo, just seemingly given up on being one. and Marty Reasoner (sorry Fifth Feather, but he is a -16 at this point). The Hawks are now back where they started at camp. With Marcus Kruger proving Still, if the Hawks spend a period or two scratching their balls, there are enough to be serviceable, and his defensive awareness everything we were told it would be, weapons to make them look silly. And merely throwing pucks from everywhere at Mon- he will get his shot at the #2 center tonight, which is kind of what they had envisioned toya in his current form could lead to a frustrating night indeed. Starts three games in all along before he disappeared in September. That moves Kane back to wing where four nights, and the Hawks really could use them all. So they should play like it to get he can’t be isolated defensively, and can reunite the Ghosts of The Men of White it started right. -Big Badass Bodacious - page 15 - REFEREE STATS FOR THE HAWKS # Referees Ref Since Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks PK’s Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/Game W L OTL 15 Auger, Stephane 9/1/94 2 6 6 6.0 3.0 3.0 1 1 0 44 Banfield, David 9/1/07 1 4 1 5.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0 0 Burchell, Darcy 46 Charron, Francis 10 Devorski, Paul 9/1/87 1 3 0 3.0 3.0 0.0 0 0 1 19 Dwyer, Gord 9/1/03 27 Furlatt, Eric 9/1/98 1 3 5 10.0 3.0 5.0 0 1 0 30 Hasenfratz, Mike 9/1/00 2 8 4 7.0 4.0 2.0 0 2 0 49 Hebert, Ghislain 9/1/08 1 3 5 10.0 3.0 5.0 0 1 0 43 Hebert, Jean 9/1/10 8 Jackson, Dave 9/1/89 2 9 6 7.5 4.5 3.0 2 0 0 25 Joannette, Marc 9/1/93 2 8 6 8.0 4.0 3.0 0 2 0 18 Kimmerly, Greg 9/1/93 3 4 5 3.6 1.3 1.6 1 1 1 32 Kowal, Tom 9/1/98 40 Kozari, Steve 9/1/03 1 3 2 5.0 3.0 2.0 1 0 0 14 LaRue, Dennis 9/1/89 2 4 2 4.0 2.0 1.0 0 1 1 17 L'Ecuyer, Frederick 9/1/06 2 14 8 14.5 7.0 4.0 2 0 0 28 Lee, Chris 9/1/99 3 14 9 8.3 4.6 3.0 2 0 1 3 Leggo, Mike 9/1/96 2 6 4 5.0 3.0 2.0 1 1 0 0 Lemelin, Mark 0 MacPherson, Matt 26 Martell, Rob 9/1/92 2 7 5 9.0 3.5 2.5 0 1 1 4 McCauley, Wes 9/1/01 2 3 3 4.5 1.5 1.5 1 0 1 34 Meier, Brad 9/1/94 3 16 10 12.0 5.3 3.3 2 1 0 36 Morton, Dean 9/1/99 1 5 5 10.0 5.0 5.0 1 0 0 13 O'Halloran, Dan 9/1/92 1 7 5 16 7.0 5.0 1 0 0 9 O'Rourke, Dan 9/1/99 1 5 6 15.0 5.0 6.0 0 1 0 20 Peel, Tim 9/1/95 2 7 8 10.5 3.5 4.0 1 1 0 16 Pochmara, Brian 9/1/02 1 3 2 5.0 3.0 2.0 1 0 0 33 Pollock, Kevin 9/1/97 1 4 1 5.0 4.0 1.0 1 0 0 37 Rehman, Kyle 5 Rooney, Chris 9/1/96 0 Skiliter, Graham 38 StLaurent, Francois 9/1/03 12 StPierre, Justin 9/1/03 2 7 5 6.0 3.5 2.5 2 0 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 9/1/99 1 6 7 15.0 6.0 7.0 0 1 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 7/15/92 1 5 6 15.0 5.0 6.0 0 1 0 45 Vinnerborg, Marcus 9/1/10 1 7 3 10.0 7.0 3.0 1 0 0 24 Walkom, Stephen 9/1/90 1 5 5 10.0 5.0 5.0 1 0 0 29 Walsh, Ian 9/1/96 2 6 6 9.5 3.0 3.0 2 0 0 23 Watson, Brad 9/1/93 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 1 0 0 NHL INDIVIDUAL LEADERS GOALS POINTS GAA SV% Rk Player Team Goals Rk Player Team Pts Rk Player Team GAA Rk Player Team SV% 1 Phil Kessel TOR 16 1 Phil Kessel TOR 32 1 Brian Elliot STL 1.31 1 Brian Elliot STL .951 2 Steve Stamkos TB 16 2 Joffrey Lupul TOR 30 2 Curtis Sanford CBJ 1.76 2 Curtis Sanford CBJ .937 3 Milan Michalek OTT 15 3 Claude Giroux PHI 29 3 Jimmy Howard DET 1.87 3 Jonathan Quick LA .936 4 James Neal PIT 14 4 Daniel Sedin VAN 29 4 N. Khabibulin EDM 1.88 4 Mike Smith PHX .936 5 Claude Giroux PHI 13 5 Thomas Vanek BUF 27 5 Tim Thomas BOS 1.93 5 Tim Thomas BOS .936 6 J. Toews CHI 13 14 J. Toews CHI 25 26 C. Crawford CHI 2.86 31 C. Crawford CHI .896 - page 16 - HOCKEY SABERMETRICS - BLACKHAWKS

Every game, we provide you with the Behind The Net numbers. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. TOI/60: Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. QUALCOMP: A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging RATING for opponents on the ice against player. QUALTEAM: A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging RATING for teammates on ice with player. GFON/60, GAON/60: Goals for and against team per 60 min. player is on ice +/-ON/60: Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60: Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING: +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/-OFF/60.

NAME TOI/60 QUALCOMP QUALTEAM GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Patrick Sharp 14.06 -0.017 0.373 4.61 2.73 1.88 2.05 2.68 -0.64 2.51 Dan Carcillo 11.6 0.016 0.527 3.36 1.81 1.55 2.34 3.15 -0.81 2.36 Patrick Kane 14.61 -0.017 0.681 3.45 1.97 1.48 2.51 3.01 -0.5 1.98 Marian Hossa 14.03 -0.057 0.57 3.92 2.49 1.43 2.35 2.87 -0.51 1.94 Viktor Stalberg 12.43 -0.085 0.133 3.73 2.63 1.1 2.36 2.82 -0.46 1.55 Jonathan Toews 13.81 0.002 0.231 4.34 3.48 0.87 2.17 2.38 -0.21 1.08 N.Hjlamarsson 16.91 0.138 -0.117 2.41 1.99 0.43 3.01 3.08 -0.08 0.5 Nick Leddy 17.67 0.085 0.168 2.72 2.58 0.14 2.84 2.76 0.08 0.06 Brent Seabrook 17.1 0.126 -0.12 3.51 3.01 0.5 2.94 2.29 0.64 -0.14 Steve Montador 13.7 -0.063 0.118 2.45 2.63 -0.18 2.93 2.72 0.21 -0.38 Jamal Mayers 8.02 -0.107 -0.578 1.5 1.8 -0.3 3.06 2.88 0.18 -0.48 Duncan Keith 18.93 0.078 0.247 3.46 3.89 -0.43 2.38 2 0.38 -0.81 Marcus Kruger 10.44 0.048 -0.372 1.92 2.87 -0.96 3.13 2.73 0.4 -1.36 Dave Bolland 11.9 0.284 -0.909 2.16 3.6 -1.44 2.7 2.7 0 -1.44 Sean O'Donnell 13.76 -0.006 0.215 1.28 2.56 -1.28 2.97 2.76 0.2 -1.49 John Scott 8.18 -0.108 -0.036 0.56 1.69 -1.13 3.44 2.61 0.83 -1.96 Michael Frolik 13.12 0.232 -0.484 1.59 2.59 -0.99 3.48 2.29 1.18 -2.18 Bryan Bickell 11.51 0.235 -0.689 1.52 3.04 -1.52 3.36 2.6 0.75 -2.27 Andrew Brunette 11.6 0.126 0.088 1.66 3.31 -1.66 3.16 2.5 0.66 -2.31

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn PP Rating PK Rating Shots attempted by team vs. shots attempted Measure of a team’s Goals-For per 60 Measure of a team’s Goals-Against per 60 against while player is on the ice, per 60 min. vs Taken mins. when player is on the ice on the PP. mins. when player is on the ice on the PK. Name Corsi Name PDraw/60 PTake/60 Name GFOn/60 Name GAOn/60 Patrick Sharp 16.04 Jonathan Toews 1.9 0.7 Marcus Kruger 12.82 Dave Bolland 4.77 Viktor Stalberg 14.69 Patrick Kane 1.8 1.3 Steve Montador 11.98 N.Hjlamarsson 6.45 Dan Carcillo 11.89 Viktor Stalberg 1.5 1.3 Andrew Brunette 9.31 Brent Seabrook 7.8 Jonathan Toews 11.47 Marian Hossa 1.4 0.4 Nick Leddy 7.58 Marcus Kruger 8.02 Marian Hossa 9.98 Dan Carcillo 1.3 1.8 Duncan Keith 6.2 Michael Frolik 9.12 Patrick Kane 9.2 Dave Bolland 1 1.2 Jonathan Toews 5.52 Jamal Mayers 9.41 Nick Leddy 8.15 Bryan Bickell 0.9 0.9 Brent Seabrook 4.76 Marian Hossa 9.72 John Scott 7.34 Michael Frolik 0.8 0.6 Patrick Kane 4.57 Nick Leddy 10.58 Steve Montador 6.31 Marcus Kruger 0.7 0.7 Patrick Sharp 4.57 Duncan Keith 11.09 Brent Seabrook 6.01 Andrew Brunette 0.6 0 Dave Bolland 4.28 Sean O'Donnell 11.52 N.Hjlamarsson 5.96 Patrick Sharp 0.5 0.7 Marian Hossa 2.33 Jonathan Toews 12.78 Sean O'Donnell 5.64 Duncan Keith 0.4 0.3 Bryan Bickell 3.47 Brent Seabrook 0.3 0.3 Andrew Brunette 1.86 Jamal Mayers 0.3 0.3 Duncan Keith 0.43 N.Hjlamarsson 0.1 0.1 Face-offs Michael Frolik -0.8 Nick Leddy 0 0.3 Name Face-offs Taken FO% Dave Bolland -0.96 John Scott 0 0.6 Jonathan Toews 483 61.9 Jamal Mayers -1.5 Steve Montador 0 0.4 Patrick Sharp 66 57.6 Marcus Kruger -4.31 Sean O'Donnell 0 0.8 Jamal Mayers 105 57.1 Dave Bolland 358 47.8 Marcus Kruger 150 46.7 Rank / Average 5th 52.5 - page 17 - HOCKEY SABERMETRICS - ISLANDERS

NAME TOI/60 QUALCOMP QUALTEAM GFON/60 GAON/60 +-ON/60 GFOFF/60 GAOFF/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Mark Eaton 12.54 -0.135 -0.336 2.39 2.39 0 1.26 3.37 -2.1 2.1 Frans Nielsen 12.1 0.03 0.01 2.7 2.48 0.23 1.37 3.05 -1.68 1.9 Matt Moulson 14.1 0.103 0.048 2.51 2.71 -0.19 1.37 2.99 -1.62 1.42 Steve Staios 16.18 0.036 -0.118 2.36 2.7 -0.34 1.38 3.01 -1.64 1.3 Michael Grabner 13.08 0.073 0.291 2.09 2.92 -0.83 1.57 2.9 -1.33 0.5 Josh Bailey 11.18 -0.055 -0.222 1.22 2.2 -0.98 1.86 3.12 -1.26 0.29 John Tavares 14.93 0.123 0.301 2.01 3.11 -1.1 1.57 2.82 -1.24 0.15 Matt Martin 9.97 -0.067 -0.449 1.09 2.19 -1.09 1.87 3.1 -1.22 0.13 PA Parenteau 14.43 0.094 0.298 2.65 3.78 -1.13 1.31 2.53 -1.22 0.09 Brian Rolston 11.72 0.013 -0.021 2.3 3.33 -1.02 1.57 2.65 -1.08 0.05 Milan Jurcina 13.76 -0.014 -0.102 1.68 3.02 -1.34 1.74 2.95 -1.21 -0.13 A. MacDonald 18.13 0.049 -0.285 0.9 2.26 -1.35 2.2 3.3 -1.1 -0.25 Kyle Okposo 13.44 0.004 0.06 0.94 2.12 -1.18 1.92 2.83 -0.91 -0.26 Jay Pandolfo 9.48 -0.085 -0.475 1.21 2.71 -1.51 1.86 3.06 -1.19 -0.31 Mark Streit 18.32 0.002 0.168 2.08 3.57 -1.49 1.48 2.49 -1.02 -0.47 Travis Hamonic 18.01 0.064 -0.116 1.06 2.88 -1.82 2.1 2.93 -0.82 -0.99 Mike Mottau 11.61 -0.097 0.058 2.07 3.79 -1.72 1.8 2.25 -0.45 -1.27 Marty Reasoner 10.45 -0.129 -0.627 0.6 4.84 -4.23 2.03 2.62 -0.59 -3.64

Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn PP Rating PK Rating Shots attempted by team vs. shots attempted Measure of a team’s Goals-For per 60 Measure of a team’s Goals-Against per 60 against while player is on the ice, per 60 min. vs Taken mins. when player is on the ice on the PP. mins. when player is on the ice on the PK. Name Corsi Name PDraw/60 PTake/60 Name GFOn/60 Name GAOn/60 Frans Nielsen -0.68 John Tavares 1.5 0.5 PA Parenteau 7.8 Mark Eaton 0 Brian Rolston -1.28 Matt Moulson 1.4 0 Matt Moulson 7.18 Steve Staios 0 PA Parenteau -1.51 Michael Grabner 1 0.8 John Tavares 6.85 Michael Grabner 1.45 Mark Streit -2.38 PA Parenteau 0.8 1.1 Travis Hamonic 6.06 Josh Bailey 2.1 John Tavares -4.02 A. MacDonald 0.8 0.3 Mark Streit 5.85 Mark Streit 5.22 Kyle Okposo -4.23 Mark Streit 0.7 0.9 Michael Grabner 5.62 Frans Nielsen 5.22 Milan Jurcina -5.7 Marty Reasoner 0.6 0.9 Brian Rolston 5.09 A. MacDonald 6.74 Travis Hamonic -5.91 Frans Nielsen 0.5 0 Kyle Okposo 4.68 Marty Reasoner 8.05 Matt Moulson -6 Kyle Okposo 0.5 0.5 Frans Nielsen 4.48 Travis Hamonic 8.08 Michael Grabner -6.05 Matt Martin 0.5 0.8 A. MacDonald 4.47 Jay Pandolfo 10.07 Steve Staios -6.07 Josh Bailey 0.5 1 Milan Jurcina 13.53 Matt Martin -6.84 Brian Rolston 0.3 0.5 A. MacDonald -8.58 Travis Hamonic 0.3 0.6 Marty Reasoner -12.7 Steve Staios 0.3 1.7 Mark Eaton -13.45 Jay Pandolfo 0.3 0.3 Face-offs Josh Bailey -15.62 Milan Jurcina 0 0.7 Name Face-offs Taken FO% Jay Pandolfo -18.69 Mark Eaton 0 0.3 John Tavares 396 54.5 Mike Mottau -21.01 Mike Mottau 0 1 Marty Reasoner 212 50.0 Josh Bailey 229 44.5 Frans Nielsen 305 44.3 Rank / Average 24th 48.4 - page 18 -

The Making Of... The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR via DRAFT via TRADE via FREE AGENCY Andrew Brunette (WSH 7th round 1993) (PIT 3rd round 2003) (CGY Undrafted FA) Daniel Carcillo Steve Montador (OTT 4th round 2001) 2011-2012 from BUF for 2012 7th round pick Ray Emery Sami Lepisto (WSH 3rd round 2004) Jamal Mayers (STL 4th round 1993) Sean O’Donnell (BUF 6th round 1991) Michael Frolik (FLA 1st round 2006) and Alex Salak for Jack Skille, Hugh Jeissman, and David Pacan 2010-2011 John Scott (MIN Undrafted FA) Viktor Stalberg (TOR 6th round 2006), Chris Didomenico, and Phillipe Paradis from TOR for Kris Versteeg and Bill Sweatt

(MIN 1st round 2009) and Kim 2009-2010 (5th round) Nick Leddy (OTT 1st round 1997) Marcus Kruger Johnsson from MIN for Cam Barker Marian Hossa

2008-2009 Ben Smith (4th round)

2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round)

2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round)

Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from 2005-2006 Niklas Hjalmarsson (4th round) PHI for Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 2006 3rd round pick

(2nd round) 2004-2005 Dave Bolland Bryan Bickell (2nd round)

(1st round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook Corey Crawford (2nd round)

2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round)

BLACKHAWKS GM HISTORY BLACKHAWKS COACHES 2010- Stan Bowman Head Coach Joel Quenneville 2005-2009 Dale Tallon Assistant Coach Mike Haviland Too Fucking Assistant Coach Mike Kitchen Long, Assistant Coach Marc Bergevin Too Fucking Bob Pulford Many Times Goaltending Coach Stephane Waite 1999-2000 Bob Murray Information provided in part by hockeyreference.com - page 19 -

The Making Of... The New York Islanders

YEAR via DRAFT via TRADE via FREE AGENCY Mark Eaton (PHI Undrafted FA 1999) Brian Rolston (NJ 1st round 1991) from Milan Jurcina (BOS 8th round 2001) 2011-2012 NJ for Trent Hunter Jay Pandolfo (NJ 2nd round 1993) Marty Reasoner (STL 1st round 1996) Steve Staios (STL 2nd round 1991) Michael Grabner - off waivers from FLA (VAN 1st round 2006) (1st round) (NYR 1st round 2004) from 2010-2011 Nino Niederreiter Al Montoya - off waivers from DET PHX for 2011 6th round pick (Andrew Fritsch) Evgeni Nabokov (SJ 9th round 1994) PA Parenteau (ANA 9th round 2001) Michael Haley (Undrafted FA) 2009-2010 John Tavares (1st round) Mike Mottau (NYR 7th round 1997) Matt Moulson (Pit 9th round 2003) Josh Bailey (1st round) Travis Hamonic (2nd round) 2008-2009 Mark Streit (MTL 9th round 2004) David Ullstrom (4th round) Matt Martin (5th round)

2007-2008

(1st round) 2006-2007 Kyle Okposo Andrew MacDonald (6th round)

2002-2003 Frans Nielsen (3rd round)

2000-2001 Rick Dipietro (1st round)

ISLANDERS COACHES Head Coach Jack Capuano ISLANDERS GM HISTORY Assistant Coach Dave Chynoweth 2006- Garth Snow Assistant Coach Scott Allen 2006-2006 Neil Smith Assistant Coach Doug Weight 1995-2006 Mike Milbury (utterly hilarious) Goaltending Coach Mike Dunham Information provided in part by hockeyreference.com The Hawks Record When...

Playing at United Center..... 7-2-2 Taking 30 or more shots...... 12-5-3 When even close on faceoffs.... 12-7-2 Playing on road...... 7-6-1 Taking less than 30 shots..... 2-3-0 Dave Bolland wins an important faceoff... 10-2-2 Scoring first...... 9-0-1 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 4-4-3 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 11-7-3 Opponent scores first...... 5-8-2 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 10-4-0 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 2-0-0 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 1-1-0 during 4-on-4...... 4-1-1 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 5-2-2 1st of a back-to-back...... 3-3-0 Konroyd thankfully fills-in for Eddie O 3-1-0 Editor bleeds on programs... 0-0-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 4-1-1 Pat Foley tells boring anecdote for way too fucking long...... 14-8-3 Playing on a Monday...... 1 - 0 - 0 Opponent played night before.... 1-0-0 Ice Crew wear skirts...... 7-2-2 Playing on a Tuesday...... 2-2-0 Taking more than 5 penalties..... 3-3-0 Ice Crew wear pants...... 0-0-0 Playing on a Wednesday...... 1-1-0 Taking 5 or less penalties.... 11-5-3 Ice Crew comes out on the ice at the wrong time.... 1-0-0 Playing on a Thursday...... 4-0-0 Taking yet another fucking too-many men penalty.... 2-0-0 Member of Ice Crew hilariously falls on her shapely ass.... 0-0-0 Playing on a Friday...... 2-3-1 Keith takes a penalty...... 0-1-0 Leading after 2 periods...... 9-0-1 Playing on a Saturday...... 3-1-2 Toews takes a penalty..... 0-2-0 Losing after 2 periods...... 3-8-1 Playing on a Sunday...... 1-1-0 Kane takes lazy offensive zone penalty.... 3-3-0 Tied after 2 periods...... 2-0-1 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 1-6-1 Carcillo takes a penalty... 4-4-0 In overtime...... 1-1 Outshoot opponent...... 11-6-3 Seabrook takes a penalty... 1-4-0 In shootout...... 2-2 Are outshot by opponent.... 3-2-0 Scott takes a penalty... 1-0-0 On Heritage Nights.... 0-0-1 Patrick Kane scores...... 6-0-1 Scott hilariously falls down.... 4-1-1 On Brian Smolinksi Heritage Night.... 0-0-0 Jonathan Toews scores...... 9-0-1 WHY THE FUCK IS SCOTT DRESSED???!!!!...... 8-4-1 In 1-goal games..... 6-2-3 Patrick Sharp scores...... 5-2-1 Sharp floats around and doesn’t do much.... 3-2-1 In 2-goal games...... 1-0-0 Andrew Brunette scores...... 5-0-0 Coach Q needlessly juggles lines into messy goo.... 0-1-0 In 3-goal games...... 6-5-0 Dave Bolland scores.... 5-1-0 Coach Q grinds Keith into the ground.... 3-2-0 In 4+ goal games...... 1-2-0 Dave Bolland is close to in one piece.... 11-3-3 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 0-0-0 Scoring more than 3 goals..... 10-0-2 Marian Hossa scores...... 6-1-2 No fights in 300 Level..... 6-2-2 Scoring 3 goals or less...... 4-8-1 Nick Leddy scores...... 2-0-0 Playing Eastern Conference..... 2-1-2 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Nick Leddy is anything close to Brian Campbell... 7-4-1 Playing Western Conference..... 12-7-1 PA fucking plays 3’s and 7’s! Fuck and Yes!...... 2-1-0 Pat and Eddie oversell Leddy to a laughable point... 14-8-3 Playing Central Division...... 3-1-0 PA plays TOOL!!!!!! 3-1-0 Q pairs Leddy and Keith for reasons no one understands.... 7-2-2 Playing Northwest Division.... 4-3-1 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 1-0-0 Playing Pacific Division 5-3-0 The Fucking Power Play Dance Is Used... 6-1-2 Duncan Keith reverts to sophomore season awful... 0-3-0 Playing Atlantic Division 0-0-0 Mayers fights.... 4-1-1 Brent Seabrook scores...... 1-0-0 Playing NASCAR Division 2-1-1 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 Michael Frolik scores.... 1-1-1 Playing Northeast Division 0-0-1 Carcillo fights.... 0-2-0 Dan Carcillo is suspended... 3-1-0 Playing in October.... 7-2-2 Scott fights... 0-1-0 Ben Smith scores.... 0-0-0 Playing in November.... 7-6-1 Bickell fights.... 1-0-0 Ben Smith is wildly overrated by Hawks beat writers... 14-8-3 Playing December.... 0-0-0 On Comcast...... 9-6-1 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 8-2-2 Playing in January... 0-0-0 On WGN...... 5-2-2 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 6-6-1 Playing in February... 0-0-0 On Vs...... 0-0-0 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 4-5-1 Playing in March.... 0-0-0 On NBC.... 0-0-0 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 10-3-2 Playing in April.... 0-0-0 Kitchen interviewed before 3rd... 5-4-0 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 3-0-0 Ray Emery can’t move side-to-side.... 1-1-1 Haviland interviewed before 3rd... 4-4-3 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 0-0-0 Get obliterated on faceoffs...... 2-1-1 New 300 Level bars are filled with drunk trixies... 7 - 2 - 2

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