Sthe officialTUDENT newspaper of ♥ at Washington University in St. LouisLOVE since eighteen seventy-eight Valentine’s Day Special www.studlife.com Friday, February 13, 2009

Sex Issue

2009 MATT MITGANG AND EVAN WIISKUP | STUDENT LIFE X2 STUDENT LOVE | NEWS ♥ FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009

This data is based on the responses of 1727 undergraduate students to a survey administered by e-mail between Monday, February 9 and Wednesday, February 11. The e-mail was sent to the entire student body.

more than 1 time a week, 42.18%

I am still a virgin 37.72% 2-3 times a month, 20.31% 2-3 times a semester, 11.56% younger than 16 less than 1 time a year, 8.07% 1 time a month, 6.41% 17-18 2-3 times a year, 4.66% 1 time a year, 3.50% 19-20 1 time a semester, 3.30%

21 or older

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40

80 Always, 72.35% 70 Often, 13.68% 60

Occasionally, 4.26% 50

40 Rarely, 3.17%

30 Never, 6.54%

20

10

0

both sides say it's a date 86.71% 64.79% we go to a fancy restaurant/ente rt ainment ve nue 64.12% one par tner treats the other 52.36% we spend the night in m y dorm roo m 18.19% dinner at Center Cour t/Bear's Den/V illage Commons 10.41% 0 20406080100

you are hooking up with an individu al on a regular basis 25.07%

you are ex clusi ve 90.22%

you go on dates regularly with an individ ua l 56.00% your F ac ebook status says y ou are “in a relationshi p” 26.19% something else 8.03% 0 20406080100 FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 ♥ FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2008 X3 sexual health

BUSINESS

MATT MITGANG | STUDENT LIFE

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Expires Feb. 15, 2009. Offer good for a limited time at participating Papa John’s restaurants only. Additional toppings extra. Not valid with any other coupons or discounts. Limited delivery area, ARTSCI charges may apply. Customer responsible for all applicable taxes. X4 STUDENT LOVE | NEWS News Editor / Ben Sales / [email protected] FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Professor-student At WU, students labor, sacrifi ce couplings remain for long-distance relationships awkward fantasies

David Song distance relationship. the church both their families at- more than a friend, but we couldn’t Professor crushes are common on Managing Editor “I know how that absurd that tended. say it, because we both had this sounds,” observed Fellows, who The two surprised themselves feeling that it was impossible to campus, but dating is rare formally met Pennington at a fu- when they formed a deep rapport be together,” Fellows said. Two summers ago, when Wash- neral. “Our parents were like, after Fellows, who had not been By winter break, Fellows and ington University senior Sean Fel- ‘Sean and Jordan would be so in a serious relationship before at Pennington decided—with trepi- lows met Jordan Pennington, a ju- cute together.’ Both of us thought, Washington University, asked the dation—to initiate their long-dis- Professors,” with 15 apparently nior at the University of Michigan, ‘That is such a stupid idea.’” University of Michigan student on tance relationship. Becca Krock serious nominations for “truly the two Des Moines natives never Fellows and Pennington had several dates. Washington University senior Staff Reporter bangable male profs.” imagined they would begin a long- only known each other through “Each of us liked the other as Kenzie Allen also met her long- So why don’t more people tell distance boyfriend Aaron Trimble, their professors how they feel? now an oil landman, at their home- If the Washington University “A lot of times it’s joking, town Midland, Texas. Though Al- student body had a Facebook pro- like, ‘Oh my God, this professor len and Trimble were “high school file, its relationship status would is so cute,’ but not in a practical, sweethearts,” they resumed dating be “It’s complicated” when it actual sense. In a practical, actual last Thanksgiving after a three- comes to professors. sense I think it would make [stu- year separation. Allen cited great- When most people think of dents] a little bit uncomfortable,” er maturity of both partners as one student-professor relationships, junior Deva Estin said. of the reasons for their new rela- the kind of advances that come Student-professor relation- tionship. to mind are those that can force ships can be uncomfortable be- “Probably, it wouldn’t be work- faculty to resign. But the Univer- cause a professor may be an ing out, if we weren’t adults by sity’s official policy allows these authority figure or belong to an now,” Allen said. relationships to exist, as long as older generation. Professors may Freshmen Eric Teng and Nicole the professor does not exercise also be reluctant to become clos- Chu from Buffalo Grove, Ill., who academic power over the student, er to their students, romantically respectively attend Washington or as long as the professor offi- and otherwise, for fear of incur- University and Case Western Uni- cially removes himself or herself ring sexual harassment charges. versity, attended the same junior from that power. This policy thus One junior compared dating a high and high schools, and be- creates the possibility of legiti- professor to dating a floormate or gan dating in the middle of their mate flirting and dating. someone with the same group of sophomore year. When the couple Despite the potential for awk- friends—if drama occurs, it can began looking at colleges, the two wardness, many students said be dangerous. resolved not to allow college ap- they would be comfortable with On the other hand, dating a plications to affect their relation- the idea. professor may make sense when ship. “I think if you talk to the av- shared interests often ignite amo- Teng was accepted into Wash- erage student, they’d be comfort- rous feelings. ington University, but Chu was able with the concept if the pro- “Having a crush on a profes- placed on the University’s wait- fessor wasn’t in a position to give sor can make you fall in love with list. The couple decided to main- you a grade or better you some- a subject,” the anonymous junior tain their relationship after leaving how,” said one student who asked said. Buffalo Grove for college. not to be named. Dean Jami Ake, professor of “We were confident we could Students say that while real English and women and gender make it,” Teng said. advances and dating are rare, it studies, who serves as a co-chair is common to be attracted to and of the Committee on Sexual As- Serious commitment, physical develop crushes on teachers. One sault, agreed that there is a poten- meetings help bridge the gap student knew a professor who of- tial connection between academic ten attracted crushes, although “it and romantic interest. Like Fellows and Pennington, was very one-sided.” “Even the vocabularies over- Allen and Trimble communicate “She’s the kind of teacher lap. ‘I want you to be passion- daily with each other through who, through no strategy of her ate about something. I want you telephone calls, e-mails and text own, attracts a lot of student at- to be inspired by it,’” Ake said. messages. Last year during spring tention, which I don’t think be- “It’s easy to see how that kind break, after Fellows and Penning- gins as a crush, but sort of fer- of intense interest in somebody ton had been dating for about two vently becomes one,” the student and everything they stand for can months, Fellows discovered he said. “We start talking about her translate more in terms of pas- had sent 700 text messages—well and the whole physiological thing sion.” over his base limit of 50. happens, with the pupils and the Ake said that navigating the “It’s hard because a lot of breathing.” boundaries between close and the expression is limited by how Junior Eddy Lazzarin was en- too-close relationships is diffi- you’re able to facilitate it,” Allen thusiastic about the prospect of cult, in part because of the worry said. “You can tell someone you becoming more intimate with his that the student will feel uncom- love them on Skype, but pixels teacher. fortable or harassed. aren’t the same as holding the per- “I do have a really f------hot “It’s at the extreme end that we son. What you have to do for that professor, but no sexy anec- don’t know how to have a conver- is visit each other as often as pos- dotes,” replied Lazzarin when sation about how to draw the line sible.” asked whether he had ever flirted that conserves regular, important, When their relationshp began, with a professor. Jesus, I wish I close relationships with students Fellows and Pennington resolved did.” but also ensures that they’re the to try to visit each other about One of the most discussed empowered party and they have

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY EVAN WISKUP | STUDENT LIFE once a month. threads on the recently-terminat- all the tools that are necessary to ed gossip Web site JuicyCampus. Long phone conversations are among the many hallmarks of University students’ long-distance relationships. See DISTANCE, page 6 com is dedicated to “Hottest Male See COUPLING, page 5 The girl next door: Floorcest at WU

Johann Qua Hiansen was bad,” said freshman J.K. of Seniors Look Back it maturely,” Caruso said. “It was ‘make your own decision.’” ern said. Contributing Reporter Beaumont, who wished to re- pretty nice to have my friends and Junior Merigan Mulhern did Though dating someone on main anonymous. “I just sort of On the other hand, there are boyfriend in the same place.” not tell her residents about intra- your floor can carry risks, Caruso smirked, because I knew it was couples that have endured beyond “It’s definitely a calculated floor relationships, leaving them said there is reward in pursuing going to happen.” their freshman floors, like seniors risk,” da Silva added. “From my to learn about the phenomenon romance. Freshman Josh Berry of Eliot Christine Wight and York Chen. experience, no one’s been unable through their classmates. “Go for it. I don’t think you Hall has a song with smooth, sen- Why ‘floorcest’? Wight and Chen, who as freshmen to recover [from a breakup]. We’re “It matters more who you’re have a lot to lose,” she said. “You sual tones, titled “Floorcest.” lived in Lien Hall, became a cou- all best friends.” with, not where you live,” Mulh- never know what will come of it.” “When I was thinking about “It’s a combination of the fact ple by the end of their first semes- what I’m going to name it, I was that I know them well enough and ter and have been together since. Advice like ‘Let’s name it ‘Floorcest,’” that there’s a lot of alcohol involved “We sometimes still reminisce Berry said. “It’s naughty, it’s got that kind of fuels the relationship,” about how easy it was freshman Every student had his or her own that sexual connotation to it, and said Ben, a freshmen who declined year,” Chen said. “We could just take on how to handle floorcest everyone here on the floor knows to give his full name. walk 20 feet down the hall and see and whether to engage in it. that term.” For J.K.’s girlfriend and floor- each other.” “You really need to talk it Most Washington Univer- mate A.K., friendship drew the A fight during freshman year over,” freshman Chris Rinker said. sity students are familiar with couple together. demonstrated the potential danger “We both talked about it before we floorcest—the act of hooking up “You get to know the people on of an intra-floor relationship. knew it was floorcest and decided with or dating someone on one’s your floor the best, so it’s some- “It was weird because the next that if something were to happen, floor. And while Berry might think what inevitable that it will happen day there were rumors we had we would still be friends. [The of his song when two residents of at some point,” said A.K. “But it’s broken up even though we hadn’t relationship] ended but it ended the third floor of Eliot hook up, the how you deal with it that makes talked to each other since the well.” residents on Beaumont’s second the difference.” fight,” Wight said. Not all freshman Residential floor need only point to the graph Seniors Courtney Caruso and Advisors (RAs) told their residents they have made to chart their intra- Fallout Alex da Silva also met as freshmen about floorcest. dorm relations. living in Lien, and stayed together “We told our residents ‘we en- “For the first four weeks, the But floorcest, rarely a safe sub- after freshman year. courage you to think of both sides only identity of this floor at that stance to handle, poses dangers to “It’s convenient, it’s fun, you of the issue,’” said senior Hannah time was that we have a lot of those involved and to those who have the same friends, and if Sharp, an RA for Danforth Hall. floorcest. I figured I could do leave a floorcestuous relationship. things go wrong you just deal with “The advice we gave them was, a chart about it,” freshman Bo “After you hook up with some- Zhang said. one, there always remains sexual When Zhang first drew up the tension in some way or another,” chart, he found nine floorcestuous said Greg, a freshman who also relationships, which grew to 12. declined to give his full name. According to Zhang, each sticker “When you’re forced to be around represented one act of floorcest. As them, [the tension] hangs in the time went on, the chart branched air.” out to include “dormcest.” Roommates can also be ad- When asked about why people versely affected by intra-floor re- engage in floorcest, Zhang specu- lations. lated it might be one way to break “[Awkwardness] happened the ice between new freshmen. when I got sexiled, or when I felt And while some upper-class- I couldn’t go into the room when I men might warn against hooking wanted to,” said a male sophomore up with another resident on one’s in Shepley. “It meant that everyone floor, floorcest is bound to occur else on the floor knew what was in some dorms. going on and who was involved. “At the beginning of the year, A lot more people understood my girls on the floor said floorcest situation.” PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY MATT LEE | STUDENT LIFE PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY MATT LEE | STUDENT LIFE FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 News Editor / Ben Sales / [email protected] STUDENT LOVE | NEWS X5 STUDENT LIFE One Brookings Drive #1039 COUPLING from page 4 #330 Danforth University Center Saint Louis, MO 63130-4899

use their brains and the rest of ploitation of students, they tend News: (314) 935-5995 themselves.” to sort of shut down tendencies Advertising: (314) 935-6713 Senior Emma Cohen is writ- for personal intimacy without Fax: (314) 935-5938 ing her senior humanities thesis sex,” Cohen said. on the discourse of sexual ha- Given how complicated it e-mail: [email protected] rassment and consensual rela- could be to fall in love with a www.studlife.com tionship policies in universities, professor, it’s not surprising that Copyright 2009 and its implications for peda- most students keep their crush- gogy. She argues that fear of es within the realm of fantasy. Editor in Chief: Sam Guzik student-teacher relationships is But is it possible to begin—and Associate Editor: Indu Chandrasekhar based on the incorrect assump- keep—an actual relationship? Managing Editors: David Song, Brian tion that students are powerless When asked if a student could Stitt, Trisha Wolf in those situations. According have a healthy relationship with Senior News Editor: Ben Sales ot Cohen’s thesis, intimacy on a teacher, Ake thought it could Senior Forum Editor: Jill Strominger Senior Sports Editor: Joshua Goldman certain levels can be productive happen. Senior Scene Editor: Shayna Makaron in an academic relationship. “I would say the odds are Senior Cadenza Editor: Cecilia Razak “While policies are rightly against you, but anything’s pos- Senior Photo Editor: Evan Wiskup concerned about preventing ex- sible.” Senior Graphics Editor: Mike Hirshon Online Editor: Scott Bressler Design Chief: Dennis Sweeney News Editors: Puneet Kollipara, Perry Stein, John Scott Assignment Editor: Sopie Adelman Forum Editors: Tess Croner, Bill Hoff- Off-campus dating: man, Aditya Sarvesh, Dennis Sweeney, Tricia Wittig Cadenza Editors: Steve Hardy, Stephanie Spera m i d w a y b e t w e e n t h e Scene Editors: Brooke Genkin, Lana Goldsmith, Paula Lauris Sports Editors: Scott Drattell, Alex Dropkin Photo Editors: Matt Lanter, Matt 40 and the real world Mitgang, Lily Schorr Design Editors: Nicole Dankner, Brit- tany Meyer, Zoë Scharf, Copy Chief: Brian Krigsher Copy Editors: Elyse Kallen, Lauren Another senior who did not Nolte, Jake Sanches, Arielle Schreck, Ben Sales want to reveal her name said Hannah Schwartz, Stephanie Spera, News Editor that though she lived across Cristine Wei the hall from her boyfriend Designers: Mia Feitel, Evan Freedman, sophomore year, she enjoys Susan Hall, Katrina Jongman-Sereno, Laura Kornhauser, Courtney LeGates, Q&A: During freshman year, a date the privacy she now has living Ashley Nault, Joe Rigodanzo, Eric may have meant dinner at Center off campus, where she sleeps Rosenbaum, Katie Sadow, Michael Court, a walk around the Swamp in a single room. Yang, Kim Yeh and a late night in the dorm room. “You have more room; big- Staff Manager: Willie Mendelson Two or three years later, however, ger room, bigger space,” she significant others may need to said. “We’re kind of like an General Manager: Andrew O’Dell RON JEREMY make the drive from their apart- old married couple that stays Advertising Manager: Sara Judd ments, meet on the Loop, go out to home a lot. It’s nice cooking Copyright 2009 Washington University Student Blueberry Hill and decide where together; it’s nice eating to- Media, Inc. (WUSMI). Student Life is the fi nan- cially and editorially independent, student-run MCT CAMPUS to sleep—in Skinker-DeBaliviere gether; it’s nice having our newspaper serving the Washington University or on Forsyth Blvd. own TV so we can watch to- community. First copy of each publication is free; all additional copies are 50 cents. Subscriptions Pastor Craig Gross and veteran being performed by consenting And to prove my point, there is an These are the realities of dat- gether.” may be purchased for $99.00 by calling adult film actor Ron Jeremy will adults. expression that did not exist in my ing off campus, where the Wash- She also said she under- (314) 935-6713. debate the functions of pornog- day, but it exists today: “boy toy.” ington University bubble is small stands, however, the disad- Student Life is a publication of WUSMI and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the raphy in Graham Chapel this S L : What do you think about the enough to keep most students dat- vantages of a relationship in views of the Washington University administra- evening, at 5:30 p.m. News edi- $5 billion bailout the porn indus- S L : What do you think of sexual ing within the campus communi- which her boyfriend does not tion, faculty or students. All Student Life articles, photos and graphics are the property of WUSMI tor Perry Stein spoke with Jeremy try requested from the government enhancement drugs like Viagra? ty, yet large enough that romantic live in the same building as and may not be reproduced or published without about his views on the history of last month? RJ: When a man gets to his 40s he partners may need a car in order she does. the express written consent of the General Manager. Pictures and graphics printed in Student porn, the sex economy and how R J : Larry Flynt and Joe Francis loses a lot of his libido, that’s a sad to meet up most nights. “You have to plan to get Life are available for purchase; e-mail editor@ studlife.com for more information. Student Life much longer he’ll stay in the porn of “Girls Gone Wild” were hav- fact. So Viagra is a wonderful gift Off-campus couples, however, together more,” she said. reserves the right to edit all submissions for style, industry. ing fun and did it just to prove a to monogamy. They’ll need the seem to enjoy that dating life- “When you’re both on the 40 grammar, length and accuracy. The intent of sub- missions will not be altered. Student Life reserves point. There’s not a prayer, not boner for their significant other style, a far cry from their time on you can pop over, especially the right not to publish all submissions. Student Life: What is the value of one chance in a zillion, that would who’s often the same age as he is. the South 40, where entire social when they’re next door to If you’d like to place an ad, please contact the porn in society? have ever happened, in a million circles lived within a five-minute you.” Advertising Department at (314) 935-6713. billion trillion years. S L : You’re 55 and still making walking distance. Those couples As much as relationships Ron Jeremy: Porn has been around If you wish to report an error or request longer than all of us. They found adult films. Do you take Viagra? living off campus appreciate the may transform when cou- a clarifi cation, e-mail [email protected]. naked pictures on cave walls with S L : You’d think that during hard R J : I don’t, but I do endorse the independence and options that ples move farther from the cavemen. Many presidents had times you’d want to be in the porn pill. The fact is that I’ve never come with apartments outside of Danforth Campus, a greater drawings of adult nature. It’s been industry. How’s the business doing seen a case where a guy in his 40s the jurisdiction of the Office of change in dynamic occurs when ship. around all over the word—the Ori- in this economy? [to his] 70s who can come close to Residential Life. one of the partners graduates “The beginning of this year ent, Roman civilization, Greek R J : Hard times. Good choice of the powerful sex drive of women Dating off campus, for these from the University, even if he was definitely a new experience civilization. Porno exists. words. (Laughs.) his same age. These women can couples, means increased priva- stays in town. PJ Edelman, who and there were some challenges People have a voyeuristic in- It does suffer a little bit, mostly just dunk the bejesus out of these cy, a greater variety of places to graduated last year, has remained that came across our way, but terest in being turned on by naked because of the Internet, not nec- guys. go and things to do and a feeling in St. Louis as an online journal- we’ve kind of gotten to this really flesh, and I think it does actually essarily because of the economy. of living in the “real world,” one ist while his girlfriend completes nice comfortable way of compro- fit its purpose. I am not trying to Because people get stuff for free S L : So do older women have larg- step removed from the isolation her senior year. mising and being flexible with sound overly corny, because it can on the Internet, when they have er sex drives then men her same of college life. Edelman said that although our time. It was probably a little be used of course for masturbatory no money they are not going to go age? Senior Tyler Peck, who has their schedules are different—he easier back then, but we’ve really material, someone who is alone going to rent a DVD. So it all ties R J : The way it really should be, been dating his girlfriend for finishes work at 5:30 p.m., when grown comfortable in this role as and bored and wants to get a little together and the business is down if it weren’t for society bringing more than two years, said that many college students have not well.” titillated, but it is also used for [by] one-third. So the porn indus- women down, it should be one he recognized the convenience started that day’s homework—he Peck said he feels the same marital aid. try is in a little bit of trouble. woman with many husbands, be- of life on the South 40, but that and his partner have acclimated way. He noted that moving off cause she can satisfy them. They’ll living off campus makes partners themselves to the situation. campus from the South 40 may S L : Marital aid? S L : According to a survey con- get one good nookie, one good play a bigger role in each other’s “Our nights are spent very of- have been difficult, but that it is a R J : No one is going to argue the ducting last year by Student Life, orgasm, let out gas, roll over and social lives. ten together and weekends I see shift that everyone must, at some fact that after many, many years 41 percent of undergraduates at sleep till Christmas. “Off campus, you depend a lot of her,” Edelman said. “She point, experience. of marriage it doesn’t get difficult Washington University are still a little more on each other for tries to do work during the day, “The off-campus dynamic sometimes. So, if other things can virgins. Any advice? S L : Reporters have asked you a lot friendship,” Peck said. “The mere but that’s always tough for any moves [the relationship] to a help out like maybe wardrobe, cute R J : That’s huge. Is there a very of personal questions. What’s one fact that you have to drive to each student. I could not do that when I more mature level of calling each little costume, role-playing, sex large religious presence? thing you’ve never been asked? other’s apartments makes a big was a student. Sometimes I won’t other and setting apart times to be toys, a little porn film, they are not R J : They mentioned this as a cred- difference as to how you feel al- see her until 10 or 11 p.m.” together and going out places on going to go off cheating on each S L : No, not particularly. it at the end of the documentary locating time to one another. You Edelman added that while it dates,” he said. “It almost preps other if they do it together. R J : That’s a bizarre statistic. about me. They mention that my make more of a conscious effort was easier during his senior year you for a real-world commitment. Forty-one percent is very high; mother was in the [Office of Stra- to hang out. It increases the cri- to live the same lifestyle as his It makes the relationship much S L : Does this bring about unreal- I didn’t think St. Louis was that tegic Services], which became the teria for what your relationship girlfriend, he now sees more pref- more mature.” istic expectations in couples’ sex Puritan. You wouldn’t see those CIA in the late ’40s, during World means.” erable aspects of their relation- lives? kinds of answers in New York, War II. My mother was a spy. How R J : No it doesn’t. They’re mature Chicago, Las Vegas or L.A. If you many people can actually brag that adults. If your wife is in her 40s have 41 percent you better believe their mothers were spies during or 50s—what, she has to look like you have a very large religious fol- World War II? Angelina Jolie? Then she’ll look at lowing. Trust me. you and say ‘You should look like S L : You’ve done a reality show, Brad Pitt, you fat putz.’ S L : According to this same survey, this debate, mainstream movies, around 15 percent of men say they stand-up comedy, adult films and S L : Your are debating Pastor don’t watch porn and 70 percent starred in a documentary. What’s Craig Gross about porn today; of women say they don’t watch next for you? what’s your strategy going into the porn. Does this follow the national R J : More feature films. I got a debate? trend? film on Showtime called One- R J : We have a pretty strong de- R J : Your statistics are probably Eyed monster, a funny comedy. bate. I like what he does for a liv- way off. There is a lot of lying go- I also got a film on HBO called ing; I have no problem with his ca- ing on in your survey. Homo Erectus—it’s a caveman reer, but he has got a big problem film with David Carradine and with mine. So he has to go first, S L : Do you think views of sexuali- Tom Arnold—it’s also going to always. ty have changed from your college be in the stores under the name I don’t just defend porn blan- generation to this generation? “Stoned Age.” And then I have a ketly. I want to see what it is he R J : Yes. Extremely. I still have film that was at Sundance called has against the business, and he textbooks, swear to God, that date “Finding Bliss.” often changes it. And then I’m go- back to the ’60s that say a man hav- ing to try and slam-dunk all of his ing an orgasm is necessary, espe- S L : How much longer will you be points. cially for procreation, and a wom- performing in adult films? an does not have to climax, but it’s R J : As long as the shmeckle S L : What do you see as Pastor nice if she does. The girls of today works. As long as the shmeckle Craig’s best argument against look at that and say: “Horse----.” works I will exploit it. porn? R J : He doesn’t have one. (Laughs.) It’s a good debate. He has good points, and I respect what he does—but, I think I bash his points.

S L : Do you think this is an issue that a pastor should be debating? R J : Look, the church is having enough of its own problems, like people who say they are devout members of the cloth and commit these heinous crimes. So he has enough problems with the church than to worry about who watches porn, which is consenting adults who are watching consenting sex X6 STUDENT LOVE | NEWS News Editor / Ben Sales / [email protected] FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Not Your Average Professor: Susan Stiritz and X-Magazine

Eliza Adelson Staff Reporter

As a lecturer in Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies and faculty advisor of X-Magazine, Susan Stiritz gets into our sex lives. Staff Reporter Eliza Adel- son spent time with Stiritz to talk about what makes college kids tick.

Student Life: How did you get involved in your passion for sexuality studies? Susan Stiritz: I had previously worked on a family planning council and had been involved in sexuality issues for a long time. I saw how powerful it was for [a woman] to take control of her sexuality. When you take control of your sexuality, you take control of you, or the other way [around]; when you allow someone to take your sexuality, you let it dominate you in other ways.

S L : What about the Student Forum on Sexuality? S S : It’s a wonderful blend of people from the art school and people from the humanities, and I think it’s really great that it joins those talents and people. It’s been a lot of fun for me to interact with students from the art school—you don’t always get to do that.

S L : What is special about X Maga- zine? S S : The sex magazines at other schools are very different—very masculine and androcentric. Ours is the opposite and has more of a feminist framework. We work to promote a more humane sex- MCT CAMPUS ual culture on campus. In my classes, 80 percent say yes, in terms of having The infamous, and phallic, Big Ben tower looms over London. experienced sexual coercion. That’s terrible. Part of good sex education has to do with communication skills built into it instead of the bullying kind of behavior that can happen. The British S L : What is “hooking up?” What’s ac- tually going on out there? S S : Typically in the broader media, it means if people are having intercourse [with] tons and tons of partners—essen- a r e c o m i n g ! tially fulfi lling the defi nition of promis- cuous. We found people did not have many, many partners. Unfortunately, Becca Krock attitude toward casual sex. The because of the wider sexual culture, Staff Reporter responses were used to create they don’t know how to speak up for an index of “sociosexuality,” one another. We just have this ashamed PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY MATT LANTER | STUDENT LIFE used by evolutionary biologists culture on some level. We can’t talk X Magazine works to promote a more humane sexual culture on campus from the perspective of a feminist framework. to describe how sexually open about it like open human beings. British citizens are more people are. a safe place, and that’s one thing about S L : What’s your most striking class- to get their head around not being on promiscuous than citizens of The researchers who con- S L : What’s changed on campus since our classrooms—they are safe. room experience? top. We know that men are disadvan- any other industrialized Western ducted the study attributed Brit- the founding of the Student Forum on S S : In [one] class, I had eight guys taged by their sexism, and we just want countries, a new survey found. ain’s fi rst place rank to a grow- Sexuality? S L : Ever felt awkward talking with stu- from the same fraternity. I really think to help them—and we learn so much The US came in sixth, after the ing acceptance of promiscuity S S : My intro courses are almost half dents about sex? they were taking a course to ruin it, and from them. UK, Germany, the Netherlands, in women, and said that women men now, and that’s really changed— SS: In the beginning, I was so awk- they fl unked the midterm. They had the Czech Republic and Austra- may even become more promis- they’re so open. Some [students] are ward. Everyone is having trouble be- been saying there’s no such thing as S L : How different—really—are men lia. cuous than men. like, “I’d like to think this way, but I cause they are trying to fi gure out what an oppressed woman. I showed them a and women? The survey asked more than When all countries were just can’t.” And they work through the is intimacy, everything from “Do I video, [and] in the middle of the video, S S : I think we’re socialized to be dif- 14,000 people in 48 countries taken into account, Finland was reasons why. When men fi nd out what like men? Do I like women? Do I like they said they were so ashamed of ferent. I’d say that, today, we’re more about the number of one-night the most promiscuous and Tai- it is that women need, they seem to be both?” There are so many aspects to it. themselves. alike than different, but we follow these stands, expected number of part- wan was dead last, with Britain the most anxious to give it to them. We don’t get sometimes how hard it Guys are asked to give up their dysfunctional scripts and sexually we ners in the next fi ve years and ranked 11th. People are hungry for this kind of op- can be. privilege when they enter a women’s all want the same things. We don’t have portunity to share among themselves in studies classroom; it’s hard for them to keep acting like idiots.

DISTANCE from page 4

But even with such plans, the other costs money. will graduate this May, their re- more semester of distance be- Iowa couple allowed each other to For Allen, spending money on lationship will return to its long- tween them after Fellows’ gradu- maintain their own friendships and transportation represents part of distance status, when Nordman ation. The University of Michigan other relationships. Pennington es- the commitment that she and Trim- leaves St. Louis for Minneapolis junior was originally nervous that pecially understood the frailty of a ble make to their relationship. to work for General Mills. Leach Fellows’ graduating from college long-distance relationship, having “Money’s a huge factor,” she will spend two years with Teach could create a rift in their relation- had a roommate who had recently said. “But Aaron would get a sec- For America in St. Louis. ship. broken up from one. ond job if he needed to come see “We’re as prepared for it as we “From her perspective, she was “We both went into the no- me—it’s about being willing to can be,” Nordman said. “We’ve really upset about it,” Fellows said. tion that it would fail,” Fellows make the sacrifices.” definitely talked about, again, As with the resolution of some of said. “We’re kind of on the same When Fellows and Pennington how if anybody can do this, it’s their previous conflicts, Fellows page—that we can’t be too de- purchased airline tickets for their us. I think that with our variety and Pennington were able to voice manding of each other’s time, oth- first visit during the school year, experience in long-distance re- their concerns and thoughts to erwise it’s not going work. It was they were relieved to find tickets lationships, we’ll be pretty well each other. “Things have been a never a choice between having a that cost $100. prepared.” lot smoother since then.” life in Ann Arbor and dating me in “It was the only time that [we Nordman wonders whether he Like Nordman, Fellows will St. Louis.” could] actually put a price on will be able to “jump into Minne- start a career this summer and Fellows and Pennington con- love,” Fellows said. “If that plane apolis with both feet” after gradu- will face some uncertainty in the tinue to visit each other every ticket were $800, we both would ation. But as for the immediate fu- future. Pennington plans to live in three weeks. Though these visits have said, ‘Oh my gosh, no, that’s ture both Nordman, who described San Francisco for some time af- by plane take up a huge amount way too much money.’ But exactly work with General Mills as his ter her graduation, but also wants of time for Fellows, he said he what number would we not have “dream job,” and his girlfriend to eventually apply to graduate was able to put aside frivolities to been okay with?” will remain physically separate. school. compensate. Online communication can also “I’ll still have a big part of me “Then, I don’t know what’s “It was extremely difficult at pose problems in a relationship invested in St. Louis,” he said. going to happen,” Fellows said. first, but eventually I realized how like Fellows and Pennington’s. But at this point, I think it’s worth “Obviously, it’s easier for me if much time I waste on things all Matt Nordman began dating Gwen it, because she’s very passionate she goes into graduate school in throughout the week. I don’t need Leach, both seniors at the Univer- about what she’s doing.” San Francisco.” to surf Wikipedia for two hours a sity, near the end of 2007. Both Fellows and Pennington also Fellows, who wants to con- day. I can actually do work.” knew that Leach would leave the face complications for life after tinue working for Google, also Allen has also made sacrifices. following spring to study abroad graduation: At the end of the sum- wants Pennington to pursue her She arranged her class and work in Uganda. mer of 2008, Fellows was offered academic career, and may have schedule for this semester to ac- The couple exchanged long a full-time position with Google to choose between more time in commodate visits from her boy- letters by mail but were able to headquarters in San Francisco. a long-distance relationship, or MCT CAMPUS friend. exchange only five such letters Pennington has always relocating elsewhere with his girl- “You need the physical expres- each during the four months when The campus’s long distance relationships are often kept up by means of wanted to live in San Fran- friend. The couple has agreed that sion as much as you need the other Leach stayed in Uganda. Nord- laptop and plane rides. cisco. if Pennington will enter a program stuff, so if you don’t have it, the man and Leach also communicated “It’s really fantastic,” Fellows in a city with a Google office, then relationship can get really unbal- several times each week by e-mail. Teng and Chu also “make a said. said. “There’s always the tension their relationship need not return anced,” Allen said. Online conversation often proved strong effort” to talk every night This semester, after having had of ‘I’m going somewhere, so Jor- to its long-distance status. difficult because of Leach’s cir- by phone or webcam, but were un- several months to adjust to college dan has to follow me.’ Which is by “I think for now that’s the Putting a price on love cumstances. able to visit each other during the life, the two are trying to arrange no means true, but that’s the per- furthest out we can think about “Technology really let us down fall 2008 semester. Teng and Chu’s a first visit. ception—that the girl follows the things,” Fellows said. Although maintaining physi- more often than not,” Nordman parents, who wanted their children guy to the detriment of her career cal contact may well be crucial said of attempts at online video to focus on academics, did not per- Long-distance life after and her livelihood.” to the survival of a long-distance conferencing. “Usually we’d end mit the couple to visit each other. graduation However, Pennington will relationship, Fellows and Allen up more frustrated than we had “It was hard knowing that— graduate in the winter of 2009, discovered that flying to see each been before the Skype date.” we were sad, disappointed,” Teng Although Nordman and Leach meaning the couple will face one FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Forum Editor / Jill Strominger / [email protected] STUDENT LOVE | FORUM X7

FORUM STAFF EDITORIAL Why you should be using a vibrator

very woman should have times a day). Having fantastic a vibrator in her bedside orgasms is your inalienable right, drawer. Or under her and if a vibrator is what it takes, pillow if she’s the lazy Godspeed. Etype. So many young women Then there are all the miscon- (and probably old women for ceptions about what a vibrator is that matter) don’t know how to and what it takes to get one. Vibra- have an orgasm. Even confident, tors come in all different types, sexually-comfortable women can shapes and sizes. And no, not all be inexperienced with their own of them are g-spot (i.e. “dildo”) bodies. If you’re not sure whether styles. Many vibrators are simply you’ve had an orgasm, then the clitoral vibrators—relatively small answer is probably “no.” All and unobtrusive and specifically women experience sexual pleasure built for the clitoris. You can buy differently; it takes practice for a vibrator online with “discreet a woman to get to know her own shipping” (vibrator.com is a good body. And it is harder for some site to check out), or you can find women to have orgasms than it is one in any sex shop (or Brook- for others. That’s where vibrators stone if you’re lucky—they call come in. We’re obviously not done them “pinpoint massagers” there). breaking the taboos in our society Do your research and pick a style about female sexuality. Let’s all and purchase method with which be more open about discussing a you feel comfortable. If you don’t woman’s sexual needs. And if it feel like broadcasting your sexual- takes a Pocket Rocket or Rabbit to ity to the world, you can take make you happy, then more (bat- steps to protect your privacy. But tery) power to you. remember, millions of vibrators SNOW POWERS | STUDENT LIFE Every so often you hear girls are sold each year—there’s really talking about vibrators, but for the nothing shocking about placing an most part it’s still pretty hush- order. hush in our society. The idea of It’s tragic; there are so many women using sex toys carries a women in this world (some of slight stigma—in some circles it whom are reading this article) ‘Extreme’ly unjust is assumed that only women who who could be having orgasms but are “oversexed” own vibrators. aren’t. If you’re missing out, then Sections 62 through 67 of the different sexual preferences, one Internet service provider (ISP) That stigma seriously needs to go. you don’t know what you’re miss- Caleb Posner 2008 Criminal Justice Act makes need to look no further than the fi ltering would of course be inef- Some women are lucky; they can ing. It also should be mentioned Staff Columnist it a punishable offense, for which cost that this might have on Brit- fective, both because any fi lter list have orgasms with a few wiggles that there’s more to vibrators than one may receive three years in ish society to see why this law is is always incomplete and because of the finger. But for many others flying solo. A vibrator can be great prison, to possess pornography so fl awed. As of 2004, the cost of of technological loopholes such it is much, much harder to climax. for use with a partner as well. At n the United States, when that meets the outlined defi nition incarceration was £38,000 (54,344 as dark nets or FTPS transfer. Nor A vibrator just might be the miss- the very least, experiment. That’s the words “pornography” of extreme. Legally, pornography USD) per prisoner per year. So, would it punish those who already ing link between you and nirvana. what being a college student is for. and “jail” are used in the is regarded as extreme if any even if no new facilities were had the material on their computer So what’s holding you back? So go get a vibrator, and discover same sentence, most people action depicted therein “[can] built to house them (impossible or other physical media. There is nothing shameful what all of the buzz is about. assume I that the imprisoned in- threaten a person’s life, results or as that would be, given the huge Instead, they opted to pass about owning and using a vibrator dividual was traffi cking in child is likely to result in serious injury infl ux of new inmates), ignoring a broad and oppressive law (even if you use it two or three pornography. This assumption of to a person’s anus, breasts or the lost tax revenue and the conse- that potentially endangers the course is fl awed, as our draconian genitals, involves sexual interfer- quences of depleting the working liberty of millions, hoping that anti-obscenity laws have landed ence with a human corpse, or sex population, this law has the po- because the average person is not many people in legal hot water of with an animal (dead or alive).” tential to cost £1,083,000,000,000 directly impacted by this policy, late, most notably Paul Little (aka As such niche fetish material con- (1,548,711,367,474 USD) if all the public will remain silent. Do- Max Hardcore) and Loren Jay Ad- stitutes only a small percentage of those eligible are convicted and ing so, though, would constitute ams. They represent the tiny class all available pornography, many sentenced. Suffi ce to say the a great mistake, for as Niemöller If I kissed a girl, of pornography producers and people are unconcerned, suggest- prospect of spending more than a famously remarked “...they came distributors who have received ing that most individuals will not trillion pounds to imprison other- for me…And by that time there prison sentences for producing be impacted by this change in wise law-abiding citizens for their was no one left to speak up.” That material featuring consenting law. It turns out, however, that as choice in pornography (created is to say if we do not stand up would I like it? adults engaging in atypical but many as 9.5 million UK residents by and with consenting adults) is for others when their rights are not illegal sexual activity. That could be guilty of violating this absurd. being trampled upon without due there are any such individuals law, or so claims Backlash (the Given the lunacy of this law, cause, we cede ground to those Anna Sobotka The participants watched several fi lms languishing in our prisons should chief group opposing this law). many people wonder why it was who will later seek to deprive us Staff Columnist showing different sexual activities, inspire immense outrage from Consider for a moment what that passed in the fi rst place. Simply of the liberties which we person- each with different gender pairings any liberty-loving individual. But means: 9.5 million adults could be put, certain sex-hating members ally care about. So, regardless of (male/male, male/female or female/ it seems that even our hard line jailed for three years for owning of Parliament want to stop the what one may think of the sexual female), while simultaneously being against legitimate erotic mate- a single image or video clip of fl ow of pornography, and as here preferences of those under attack hanks to a hugely popular monitored by machines that measured rial is surpassed by the United material that is legal to perform in the U.S., realize that this is by this law, we must all be vocal song and a sexy video, sexual arousal. Kingdom. Though historically but is regarded as excessively best done by attacking the fringe in our objection to it, and more we all now know that yes, The results illustrated a clear they have created a number of kinky by the sexually-repressed before going after mainstream ma- importantly, to the multitude of Katy Perry kissed a girl, difference between male and female broad and oppressive censorship members of government and law terial. With strict censorship laws less extreme but still alarming and T yes, she liked it (do you think her arousal patterns. While males were laws like the Obscene Publica- enforcement who wrote and will on the books, such material was anti-pornography and anti-sex po- boyfriend will mind it?). The song indeed category specifi c, both het- tions Act and the Video Record- subsequently enforce this policy. already illegal to produce in the sitions taken by our own national, has topped charts in the U.S., Ireland, erosexual and homosexual females ing Act, the multi-faceted 2008 Even if you have zero regard UK. But in the age of the Internet, state and local governments. Canada and the United Kingdom, showed strong genital arousal to both Criminal Justice Act that went for the critical value in protecting there exists an ample online sup- sparking sexual curiosity everywhere, male and female sexual stimuli. This into effect on Jan. 26 represents a freedom of speech and freedom ply of such material courtesy of including my own. I can’t help asking means that if a woman prefers men, more signifi cant blow against free of choice, and even if you see Brazil, Japan, the United States Caleb is a sophomore in Arts & Sciences. myself: If I kissed a girl, would I like she can still be turned on by women. speech and pornography than any nothing wrong with conducting and a great multitude of European He can be reached by e-mail at cspos- it? The transsexual group made the previous effort. a witch hunt against people with nations. Nationally-mandated [email protected]. According to a study published results even more interesting. They by Psychological Science in 2004, represented a group that biologically called “A Sexual Difference in the had the brains of men, but the genitals Specifi city of Sexual Arousal,” there is of females. By the end of the study, it a good chance I would. Northwestern was clear that the transsexuals were A review of sex(ual discourse) University professor Michael Bailey category-specifi c too; those who led a team of researchers to study the preferred men showed stronger sexual differences between male and female arousal to male stimuli and vice versa. I give a healthy unbelievable. orize it, and you can’t rightly perform sexuality, and what they found was These results show that sexual arousal The hypothesis was put forward the odd and vague version of sex that quite extraordinary. patterns have more to do with how four and a half that shaving the genital area came words represent. Before starting the study, Bailey our brains work than how our genitals about contemporaneously with the I continued this conversation with recognized that male sexual arousal work. stars advent of widespread oral sex. It was a friend the Saturday just after our is category specifi c. This means that The study concludes by saying that asserted that we should all call semen Bread Co. hypothesizing. We fi gured heterosexual males are more turned if you are a guy who is consistently e came up with a lot of “jimmies.” Plural or singular, we out that these conversations we always on by females than by males and vice turned on by other men, you would be ideas for sex columns asked. It depends on the usage. have, whether they’re single sex or versa for homosexuals. Basically, men right to question your sexual identity. standing around in The point here is that we all carry coeducational, whether they’re solemn who prefer women get turned on by On the other hand, if you are a girl St. Louis Bread Co. a on this discourse about sex that hints or capricious, tend to end up equally women. Female arousal, however, who is turned on by another girl, few W Fridays ago. One of my friends at a lot of its realities and carries unfruitful. People come out the other had not received as much scientifi c there is no reason to assume you are suggested I write about shaving pref- them just to the verge of really being side thinking the clitoris is on the back attention, and as Bailey posits in his homosexual. erences. One suggested that I write exposed but at the last second displays of the neck, or that the wenis is the abstract, “There is reason to believe I guess, then, that Katy Perry got it about why guys like boobs so much. the kind of whimsicality that makes most sensitive part of the body or that that female sexual arousal is organized right. It may feel so wrong, or it may We synthesized the two and came up you ask if any of it is really true or the other sex is actually just fooling differently.” feel so right. But, if you are a girl, it with the oft-noted relativity theory: Dennis Sweeney applicable at all. them and doesn’t in fact like sex at all. The group ran several studies that defi nitely doesn’t mean that you are in There’s no real reason, besides cultural Forum Editor The absurdity of the discourse and My friend came to the hesitant looked at arousal patterns for hetero- love tonight. convention, that people like certain the fi erce, though awkward, passion conclusion that perhaps it is just a sexual males and females, homosexual levels of shavedness or that guys like 3.5 stars. A lot of hype but doesn’t of sex itself try to grapple with each great mystery, an intangible thing—or males and females and post-operative Anna is a senior in Arts & Sciences. She boobs. They just do. totally live up to expectations. And other, but they never quite connect. better, an untranslatable thing—that male-to-female transsexuals with can be reached by email at assobotk@ We thought maybe a review of it’s true, someone said. Everyone gets You can’t verbalize the weirdness of either male or female preferences. artsci.wustl.edu. sex would be good. I would give it really excited, but it’s not really that the physical acts you do, so you hum- See SWEENEY, page 9

YOUR VOICE: LETTERS AND GUEST COLUMNS OUR VOICE: EDITORIAL BOARD OUR WEB POLICY

Student Life welcomes letters to the editor and op-ed submissions from Editorials are written by the Forum editors and refl ect the consensus of Once an article has been published on www.studlife.com, readers. the editorial board. The editorial board operates independently of the our Web site, it will remain there permanently. We do not newsroom. remove articles from the site, nor do we remove authors’ Letters to the Editor News: (314) 935-5995 names from articles already published on the Web, unless an One Brookings Drive #1039 Fax: (314) 935-5938 agreement was reached prior to July 1, 2005. St. Louis, MO 63130-4899 e-mail: [email protected] Editor in Chief: Sam Guzik Senior Scene Editor: Shayna Makaron Why do we do this? Because Google and other search en- All submissions must include the writer’s name, class, address and phone Associate Editor: Indu Chandrasekhar Senior Cadenza Editor: Cecilia Razak gines cache our Web site on a regular basis. Our thought is number for verifi cation. Student Life reserves the right to edit all letters for Managing Editors: David Song, Brian Senior Forum Editor: Jill Strominger style, length, libel considerations and grammar. Letters should be no longer this: once an article has been published online, it’s too late to than 350 words in length. Readers may also submit longer articles of up to Stitt, Trisha Wolf Forum Editors: Tess Croner, Bill Hoff- take back. It is irrevocably part of the public sphere. As such, 750 words as guest columns. Student Life reserves the right to print any Senior Photo Editor: Evan Wiskup man, Aditya Sarvesh, Dennis Sweeney, removing an article from our site would serve no purpose. submission as a letter or guest column. Senior Sports Editor: Josh Goldman Tricia Wittig X8 STUDENT LOVE | FORUM Forum Editor / Jill Strominger / [email protected] FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Vampires and the psychology of attraction

Kelly Diabagate Another factor is proximity. In theory, the closer two people Staff Columnist are, the more likely they are to become attracted to each other. In actuality, it doesn’t always wish I could get into the work that way. There have been head of Bella Swan from many instances of people being the Twilight series. I mean, attracted to a person they have she has a bunch of rela- never even talked to. Likewise, Itively normal boys running after people who are close to each her in school, yet she manages other don’t necessarily come to to fall in love with one of the like each other. In fact, some- few non-human ones. Yes, he is times it is the complete opposite. beautiful, but at some point in The third factor is familiarity, time, he also wants to kill her. which can be interpreted in two So, what is it about Edward Cul- different ways. First, it can be len that entices her and attracts seen as the feeling of congenial- her to the point of forgoing her ity that arises from proximity. own safety? What is it about The more time two people spend vampires that makes us wish together, the more familiar they they lived in our backyard? Why become. They begin to build is it that we are so attracted memories together; they begin nowadays to supernatural, dan- to have inside jokes. Familiarity gerous hunks? can also be looked at with the Let us start by attacking perspective that we are attracted the cause of all our confusion: to people who remind us of fam- attraction. Attraction is a pretty ily members, loved ones or even GODIVA REISENBICHLER | STUDENT LIFE powerful thing, even more pow- ourselves. In this way, we are all erful than love. For instance, it a little narcissistic. is nearly impossible to have two The final factor is similarity. people be in love and yet not at- The more we have in common tracted to each other. Attraction with someone, the more likely Grandma was doing what?! doesn’t have to be there when we are to become attracted to two people first meet, but by the them, which can also be either time they become a “we,” it is true or false. Having things in was that college students do not of walking into a room to change stories I have regarding nursing definitely there. However, there common with someone can bring Tyler Peck have a monopoly on sex. someone’s ice water, only to find home sex; many you would find it are people who are attracted to you closer, but there is also the Op-Ed Submission Now, once you have cleared them watching HBO or Cinemax traumatizing, similar to thinking each other and yet not in love. case of people being just too your mind of the awful, scarring and experiencing the heights of about your parents in the throes That’s when “friends with ben- similar to live together. images that one might associate self-pleasure. Not only men, ei- of passion. And, I was probably efits” enters the picture. Beyond these four elements, o, it’s not normal, I with old people having sex, you ther. Women performed such acts lucky to be a guy, since so many Have you ever wondered another that seems to play into know. Sure, everyone should consider what you might as frequently as men did. of my female coworkers would what makes you attracted to attraction is mystery. We are goes to visit a relative or do in the nursing home setting. It Another forgotten part of nurs- from time to time be horrified someone? Sometimes we are attracted sometimes not to the someone they know in a is not all that unlike a dorm: Peo- ing home life is the drama. Every to find that Mr. Z was “happy” shallow, and it’s all about the person most like us, but to the nursing S home occasionally. It also ple of both sexes living in a hall, person knew what was happening to see them as they helped him hair, the eyes, the smile, the person most unlike us. The idea might have been that place your eating and hanging out together. in the lives of everyone else. Does out of bed. Although the thought body. Other times, we look of the unknown entices and be- high school service group chose, As an employee, I got to observe that sound like a freshman floor might not be particularly satisfy- deeper: It’s all about personal- fore we know it, we can’t think so on Saturday afternoons you from an external perspective what to anyone? Many times I would ing, it brought me real comfort to ity, maturity, etc. Our ideal lover about anything else but that would go play cards with three we must look like. And, yes, there be helping an elderly woman from know that those people still had is most often a combination of strange person who sticks out in old ladies who could school you are stories to be told. her recliner to her wheelchair the spark that we have as college both physical appearance and our crowd like a sore thumb. at pinochle. But working there? Granted, they are perhaps not as she gave me the lowdown. students. Their sex drive didn’t personality. That is why we just love Seeing what goes on behind as graphic as when you walked “Did you know that Mrs. X has simply turn off when they turned Yet, sometimes we find those vampires. They have the closed doors, after the lights are into your dorm room to find some been spending a lot of time in 65. Just the hope of finding hap- ourselves attracted to people physical attractiveness down, out and all the visitors are gone? naked guy laying in your room- Mr. Y’s room? The two of them piness at the end of life’s road is who just don’t fit our idea of a and that, coupled with their You might think it strange to mate’s bed. But nursing home together alone?!” I can assure you enough to comfort anybody. perfect lover. Bella didn’t intend secretive ways and dangerous work part-time at a nursing home residents find happiness in much that there were times when they to fall in love with a vampire. airs, just makes them irresistible. as a nursing assistant, but I really the same way college students weren’t only reading the newspa- Tyler is a senior in Arts & Sciences. He We may get really confused How can paltry humans com- found a community there. And do. For example, from the night per together. can be reached by email at tylerpeck@ about ourselves and realize that pete? Add to this the Oedipus one thing I noticed quite quickly shift, I have countless memories I won’t share the wealth of artsci.wustl.edu. the reasons we are attracted are and Electra complexes about at- beyond comprehension. Human traction to older people, and then beings are complex, and there look at Edward Cullen. He is is no simple way to explain 100 years old, and no human in why we are attracted to whom. Bella’s life can make that claim. SWEENEY from page 8 Nevertheless, we can glean some Therefore, it’s actually not type of explanation from the so odd that we are all so in love can never be expressed through words, Naturally, one-on-one, partner-to- sudden, uncommunicative, “romantic” and its corresponding implications can psychology of attraction. with vampire novels. It is just so that the only way to move forward partner communication is going to be sex that everyone seems to have; self- be arrived at in an informal setting, According to psychology, human nature to be attracted to is through actual experience. Talking foundational to any relationship. But refl exivity in personal sexual discourse, among friends, and it all can become attraction can be influenced by strange, otherworldly hunks. about it will never do what it wants to more than that, I feel that if we get which often piles up creative but silly (suddenly!) fruitful. I asked, one day, four factors. The first is physical Sadly, they do not live in our be able to do. together in a room with a number of beliefs to the point that relevant action what I should write for my sex column. appearance. I am sure this is backyards, but only in books. I, on the other hand, don’t want to people, pledge not to make vast, silly is next to impossible; and especially the I began to get answers, and conversa- news for no one. The reason for Nevertheless, through the writ- concede just yet. Sure, sex is not fully generalizations and promise to exhibit sense of guilt many of us have learned tions were started—and suddenly, there this, however, is rather interest- ten word, we will continue to translatable. Sure, we often detrimen- sincerity in our words, we can come to to associate with sexuality. was a healthy, serious discourse about ing. Some psychologists argue dream. tally trivialize it or humorize it in our understand both the universality and The point does seem to have been sex. I give it a healthy 4.5 stars. that this kind of attraction hap- discourse. But I feel somewhat strongly the diversity of the sexual life. made before. All the “Let’s talk about pens because beauty enhances (considering it’s a point I came to just I think it is good to take away some sex” articles out there I’m sure number Dennis is a junior in Arts & Sciences. He social status, and who wouldn’t Kelly is a freshman in Arts & Sciences. days ago) that there can be valuable of the mystery of sex. We have a lot to with the stars. But what I want to can be reached by e-mail at djswee@ want to be associated with She can be reached by email at diabag- public conversation about sex. work against: fi lm, which tells us of the emphasize here is that this conclusion gmail.com. people of high status? [email protected]. Black coffee variety love

that you have to work at a bit week in how badly you fail, you will always and week out. Sometimes it requires have someone who will accept you passing on something that might be and your attempts. momentarily more exciting, but it How do you achieve this type gives you a deeper satisfaction on a of relationship? The tried-and-true daily basis. advice will get you much further than It’s not what you might read trying to mimic the ploys you saw on in Cosmo or what you see in “The last week’s “Gossip Girl.” Respect Notebook.” It’s not that infatuated yourself and don’t try to force feeling you have when you’ve just relationships with people who don’t recently discovered someone who make you happy. Someone isn’t mak- seems like the cure to all of your ing you happy when they rarely call desires. It’s not the months you spend you back. They aren’t making you obsessively thinking about them and happy if you get in heart-wrenching imagining how wonderful it would fi ghts, feel you have to compromise Jill Strominger be to belong to them. It’s also not your values or fi nd yourself thinking Senior Forum Editor analyzing a list of the character traits that you don’t deserve them. You that will make someone the best aren’t happy if you’re constantly certainly went through a high provider, parent and social partner jealous and afraid things will fall school phase where I read and determining who best fulfi lls apart if you don’t do x, y or z. Hap- those black poetry books with those qualities, then dating them piness is not swallowing tears rather the conversation hearts on and declaring your intentions to be than working through them because Ithe front—the ones that are fi lled married. you’re clinging to a few special mo- with hatred toward men and love. I Love is wanting to share your ments that make you keep believing. remember quoting some of the more morning coffee, fi nding someone Happiness is feeling healthy, vibrant cutting stanzas on my AIM profi le you can do laundry with and fi nding and full of life. hoping for an ex-boyfriend’s shocked someone with whom you want to dis- At most you get a few shots at reply. And I went through the college cuss all of your mundane problems love. And you cannot cut your losses phase where I thought love was a and all of your philosophical inqui- and take it pass/fail. So keep your clichéd, worn-out idea and hooking ries. Love is making a commitment standards high and maintain faith that up seemed edgier. But here I am, in a to work through all the inevitable someone who can make you happy world where we’re more likely than problems that occur as a result of on a daily basis for forever is out ever to end up breaking our vows and being together over time even when there—there are enough people mov- getting divorced, hoping to end some other solutions are easier. ing through our lives to fi nd this one cynicism about love. But there is something quite person. And with all of the challenges Walk out on a limb with me—I magical and special about the in-and- and struggles you will face through- think our cultural problem with out daily form that broken-in love out life, a consistent morning coffee commitment comes not from looser takes in the long run. It provides a partner you love is an invaluable as- divorce laws or a society more ac- foundation that supports you as you set well worth the wait and hurdles. cepting of divorce, but from a reach out to new experiences and fundamental misconception about explore the world in different ways. It Jill is a senior in Arts & Sciences. She can what love is. Love reminds me of my offers you a steadfast confi dence that be reached by email at jlistromi@artsci. honors thesis a lot—it’s something no matter what you try, and no matter wustl.edu. MCT CAMPUS FEBRUARY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Cadenza Editor / Cecilia Razak / [email protected] STUDENT LOVE | CADENZA X9 CADENZ A

what to watch and see a fi ve step program

Percy Olsen Yeah, I’ve heard your case before. So you’re alone on Valentine’s Day—so what? There are plenty of people out there going through the same thing, and lucky TV Editor for all of you, there is a program for getting over your loneliness. All you have to do is open your eyes and ears to welcome in the arts and entertainment. If you follow this simple schedule, I guarantee you will not end up in despair.* *Not a guarantee gain confi dence dence ( Being alone is not easy, so it’s best to start things off with an ego booster.

1. Listen to Flight of the Conchords’ “My Sugalumps.” Remember, it’s why all the ladies are checking you out. step 2. YouTube “Gunther and the Sunshine Girls,” the crowd Pleaser (and Teaser), and fi nally 1 learn what it means to “Sexualize the World.” Where do you start? With the four com- mandments: champagne, glamour, sex and respect! 3. Listen to The Beatles’ “She Loves You.” The song might not apply to you at the mo- ment, but try to think of it as a premonition. )

learn to ridicule You don’t need a date or a relationship; you don’t need anybody, and you will prove that by laughing at those who are doing worse than you. 4. Watch the sex scene from “Team America,” and convince yourself that sex just looks silly. step 5. Watch “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” Try not to think of it as a premonition. 2

shock & fear If you’ve reached Step Three: Shock and Fear, you probably need more help than most. Step Three is this program’s most potent step. It urges you to fear the sex. step 3 6. Watch Derrick Comedy’s “Blow Job Girl.” Please don’t laugh. It’s not a joke. 7. Watch that horrifying sex scene in “Snakes on a Plane,” and revoke your membership to the “Mile High Club.”

desperation If you’ve reached Step Four: Desperation, it’s time to get desperate. Break out the Weezer playlist.

8. Listen to “Tired of Sex” because what’s good for Cuomo is good for you. 9. Listen to “Love Explosion.” Hehehehehe. step 10. Listen to “Falling for You.” Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no… 4 despair I’m sorry. I’ve failed you. step 11. Listen to Weezer’s “Best Friend.” “Just Friends” territory has never sounded so upbeat. 5 12. Listen to The Beatles’ “She Loves You.” The Beatles are ironic, cruel and overrated. 13. Listen to Flight of the Conchords’ “Not Crying.” Yeah, I’m not crying. It’s just been raining. On my face (sniffl e).

what to watch

“America’s Next Top Model”

Tell her: “You could easily win this, you are much prettier than any of these girls.” She’s in. A show about good-looking girls trying to get hotter. You’re in. “Friends” episodes when Ross and Rachel get together

let’s just watch Is there anything more romantic on TV than when these two get together? The episode when they make up in the coffee shop and the episode when they have sex for the fi rst time in the planetarium are your best bets.

“Keeping up with the Kardashians” (

Such a bad show, you both will do anything to stop watching it. “The L Word”

The good news: Named one of the sexiest shows on TV, this program, fi lled with lesbian lust, might just put you two in the mood. The bad news: She might not be in the mood for you. This is awkward: You have a cute girl in your room, you’re alone and neither of you is in the mood. This doesn’t happen to you! what not to watch What is going on? What to do? Too young for Viagra, too old not to “Californication” do anything. Don’t worry, here is Although it seems like the ideal choice (it’s in the title!) this program shows a short list of shows that will have how sex can ruin lives. It’s defi nitely not what you want running through you both ready for action. your mind.

“Entourage” ) Zac Moskowitz Cadenza Reporter So good, you won’t want to turn it off for any reason. “Law and Order: Special Victims Unit”

Y’all will just feel violated the whole time. “Man Versus Nature”

This show is gross. Like really, really gross. It won’t do either of you any good. X10 STUDENT LOVE | CADENZA Cadenza Editor / Cecilia Razak / [email protected] FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 sexiest cartoon characters Hannah Schwartz and Stephanie Spera Cadenza Staff

From the phallic castle in “The Little Mermaid” to the topless woman in “The Rescuers” (which led to Disney’s recall of 3.4 million copies of the movie), the link between cartoons and sex has been very subtle but undeniably real. We have taken it upon ourselves to bring the conversation out into the open. Because we know you’ve fought over whether Prince Eric or Aladdin was hotter and because we know you have a secret fetish for cats because of Cheetara, here is the defi ni- tive list—in no particular order—of the top 10 sexiest cartoon characters:

top 5 sexiest chicks James Gunn’s Betty Boop: This 79-year-old takes the cake as the original 2-D sex symbol. ‘PG Porn’ Jessica Rabbit from “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”: “She’s not bad, she’s just drawn that way.” Enough said. er? Before turning to this world Nora Long of creative cock-blocking, St. Rosie from “The Jetsons”: Every man’s dream of the future: a submissive woman Cadenza Reporter who makes you lunch and can be shut down when she gets on your nerves. And that Louis’ own James Gunn wrote such movies as “Slither” and metallic sheen doesn’t hurt, either. “Dawn of the Dead,” and this Did you ever find yourself background in horror shows Belle from “Beauty and the Beast”: Beauty, brains and not afraid of a little watching a porn movie, and up in his premiere episode. rough play. The perfect role model for every fi ve-year-old. think “Wow, this would be It’s a pretty typical setup on a high-quality entertainment if it construction site with lots of Meg from “Hercules”: This often-overlooked Disney princess looks like a Greek weren’t for all these boring sex plays on the words “nail” and scenes?” Do you dream of a “screw,” but the moral of the goddess, sings like Belinda Carlisle and charms Hercules with her sarcastic wit. world where parents can watch story seems to be, never seduce porn with their kids without a man holding a nail gun (Na- having to explain where babies than Fillion!), no matter how come from? Well, fear not, rippling his muscles might be. because James Gunn is here to I can’t vouch for the dirty give us all the glories of the versions of Charlie Brown, porn movie—the transparent because quite frankly, they dis- top 5 sexiest dudes double entendres, the strange turb me. Charlie Brown should camera angles, the utter lack of be sacred. They also fail to Aladdin: Voiced by Steve from “Full House,” Aladdin is the only man who can pull off acting—while neatly avoiding effectively avert the possibil- the actual moment of truth. ity of sex, which completely parachute pants, a tiny vest (that shows off his killer pecs) and a fez whilst stealing you and Now, granted, I am not re- defeats the purpose of PG porn. your heart on a journey upon a bewitched Oriental rug. ally a connoisseur in the art of But the other two Webisodes pornography, but I think this constitute a milestone in the Dimitri from “Anastasia”: This sexy Russian somehow removes all stigma from the is a fantastic idea. Everyone progress of erotica. So this Val- man-purse. Is that Anastasia’s music box in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? has the impulse to laugh at entine’s Day, grab that special the sheer absurdity of your someone and watch a Catholic average porn movie, and here school girl get her car fixed Trent from “Daria”: With his Dylan-esque voice, band member status and bad-boy is the chance to do so guilt- by a sexy mechanic without persona, even the aloof Daria wanted to jump his bones. and embarrassment-free. The having to worry that they will plan is to come out with a new ruin the moment by getting it Skeeter Valentine from “Doug”: This blue-skinned, beat-boxing genius who taught three-minute Webisode every on. The Web site is http://www. Doug how to dance has the most explicitly-sexual name in the history of children’s televi- month—how many ways can spike.com/hub/pgporn. Have this man come up with to keep fun. sion. Oh, Skeet…er…Valentine. the randy stars off of each oth- Simba from “The Lion King”: Matthew Broderick’s voice set against the magical melodies of Sir Elton John. This might be bestiality, but how could you not want to hit that?

TEN songs I never

Cici Coquillette Cadenza Reporter realized were

I consider myself a pretty attentive music fan. As an ardent student of double enten- dres and sexual undertones, there’s very little that gets past me lyrically. However, there have been some that, by grace of their obscure references or popularity, are easy to miss. about sex Here’s a sampling of the top 10 songs I never realized were about sex (until now). TOP

any Aqua song ever written “Turning Japanese”—The Vapors In my own defense, I was eight years old during the height of my Ah, the Vapors. Without them, the soundtrack to “Beverly Hills Ninja” and the myriad ads that have used Aqua fandom. Still, it’s incredible that they manage to fi t so many “Turning Japanese” just wouldn’t be the same. The sexual component is a little less blatant: The song seems ten sexual references into each of their songs without anyone noticing. to be about a distant love and xenophobia. It turns out that “Turning Japanese” is a euphemism for “the facial Give some of the songs a listen—or better yet, check out the music fi ve contortions that a man makes when indulging himself.” (What would we do without you, UrbanDictionary?) ♥ videos—and it all becomes clear. ♥

“Vindicated”—Dashboard Confessional “I’mIn what is perhapsSo Excited”—Thethe most upbeat, feel-good song of all time, Pointer the Pointer Sis- Sisters I admit that I’d begun to notice a pattern in Dashboard’s work after “Hands Down” and ters insist, “I want to love you / feel you / wrap myself around you. / I want to “Screaming Infi delities,” but for some reason “Vindicated” passed right over my head. Most of nine squeeze you / please you / I just can’t get enough / and if you move real slow / the song is pretty tame until the bridge: “So turn / up the corners of your lips / Part them and I’ll let it go.” Quite the reason to get excited. feel my fi ngertips… / Defense is paper thin / Just one touch and I’ll be in… / So let me slip ♥ ♥four away.”

“AllOne of the bestMy known FooLife”—Foo Fighters songs, “All My Life” Fighters is extremely up front about its lyrical “WhiteThis otherwise-adorable Houses”—Vanessa tale of growing up has a heavier meaning. DisguisedCarlton by her reedy content. Whether it’s the chorus, in which Dave Grohl howls, “Yeah, don’t let it go to waste / I eight tone in the bridge, Carlton confesses, “My fi rst time / hard to explain / rush of blood / oh, and love it but I hate the taste / When you’re keeping me down” or the verse where he sings, “Over a little bit of pain.” Pretty unambiguous, when you get down to it. and over down on my knees / if I get any closer/ and if you open up wide / and if you let me ♥ ♥three inside / on and on I’ve got nothing to hide,” the meaning is pretty clear.

“Slide”—The“Could you whisper in my ear / the thingsGoo you wantGoo to feel / I’dDolls give you any- “IfWhile I’mU still ashamedSeek about Amy”—Britney how long it took me to understand the title—aSpears good two days or so—I thing / to feel it coming…I wanna wake up where you are.” Band front man stand by the fact that Britney Spears probably doesn’t get it either. (For those of you who haven’t heard, seven John Rzeznik has said that the song refers to a teenage girl who’s just become say the title VERY SLOWLY, and think letters.) That lapse in perception aside, I maintain that I was pregnant, but it sounds like the opening lines are just the beginning. two distracted by the sheer number of grammatical mishaps in the song (“All of the boys and all the girls are ♥ ♥ begging to…if you seek Amy”).

“Semi-Charmed“Oh no! Not that wistfully Life”—Third beautiful song of moving on fromEye innocent Blind begin- “BlisterThis song was on in the radio the constantly Sun”—The this summer, and while everyoneViolent soon Femmes nings!” I hear you cry. It turns out that the very same song that was played at knew the handclap in the main riff of the song, very few people picked up on my high school graduation is, in fact, a tale of sex with prostitutes. Look to such six the lyrics. “Big hands, I know you’re the one / Body and beats / I stain my varied lines as, “She goes on and she goes down on me,” “How do I get back there sheets / I don’t even know why / My girlfriend, she’s at the end / She is start- to / the place where I fell asleep inside you,” and “Those little red panties / they ♥ ing to cry.” The riff and the sing-along refrain make this track a supremely passed the test / I slip them down your belly face down on the mattress.” one catchy ode to solo lovin’. ♥ FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Scene Editor / Shayna Makaron / [email protected] STUDENT LOVE | SCENE X11 SCENE

Robyn Husa stereotypical as the “the French Bad Wolf and try re-enacting your your sexual role. part will make the experience less involves the female in a tight- Scene Reporter maid and the boss,” any form own version of the classic story— You don’t even have to spend enjoyable for you both. fitting nurse costume, but, hey, of exploration between couples perhaps one in which Little Red much money to obtain such acces- Saying no is okay. While that doesn’t mean the guys can’t is beneficial to both involved; never makes it to her grandmoth- sories. Discount sales at Hal- everyone is entitled to his or her get dressed up, too. A small smile plays on his lips the advantage of role-playing is er’s house. Just make sure to pick loween stores are a great treasure fantasies, if you are uncomfort- as her exotic form prances into that it strips away the inhibitions a scenario that feels right. Acting trove of (in)appropriate apparel. able acting out a certain scenario, Teacher & Student the room. one holds in everyday life and in out a cliché that has no connec- There is guaranteed to be at least you should be able to decline Witness the act of chemistry “Bonjour, monsieur,” she regular sexual play, leaving one tion to either of you takes away one sexy nurse outfit or patrol that particular option (in a polite up close and personal as this breathes, leaning forward in a free to delve into an unexplored from the meaning of the game. officer uniform available for pur- way). This is especially true re- “extra help session” turns from small curtsy, just enough for territory of pleasure. Once characters are estab- chase. Does your sexual fantasy garding the ever-sensitive “rape” harmless interaction to lustful him to see down her shirt before However, as exciting as the lished, the scene must be taken have a homier feel? No problem. or forced sex scenarios. passion! Perhaps you could go straightening up once more. thought of role-playing is, it is into account. If a giant meteor Rummaging through your closet Excited about role-playing, over a fun and interactive topic, She turns swiftly away and not wise to show up randomly is about to crash into earth, for a mix-match of hardly-worn but still unsure of where to start? such as anatomy. flutters around the room, her at your boyfriend or girlfriend’s destroying all life as we know it, clothing items works just as well. Never fear! Here is a short list of flimsy, short skirt ruffling up just house in a Tarzan loincloth and and the only thing you want to As long as you are true to your four common role-play scenarios Masseuse/Masseur enough to catch his interest. As expect him or her to immediately do is make love to that special character, the costume should to get you started: Hot oil, anyone? You come she gets to the high shelves, she play along. In order to introduce someone, the thought of doing it come naturally. in for a massage, but you end up pulls out her duster and stretches such an experience, one must in the back alleyway next to some Now that you’re dressed up One-Night Stand getting so much more…This can out her arm, releasing a small discuss the idea first and prepare dumpsters may ruin the magic… and characterized, you’re ready If the thought of having one also be done with edible sauces, if sigh of frustration when she can’t for the event properly. unless you’re into that kind of to go, right? Wrong. Sexual role- night of passionate sex with a you want to get creative. reach the top of the cabinet. First, characters must be thing. The more detail you add to play is very exposing and can semi-stranger excites you, then You can build off of or modify “Here, let me help you with considered. Find out what you your fantasy, the more alive it can often be intimidating. Before you this scenario is a perfect begin- any one of these scenarios how- that,” the man says, coming for- and your partner’s fantasies are become. So, don’t underestimate proceed any further, ground rules ning. Perhaps you and your ever you like. Or, be original and ward. He places his hands on the and proceed accordingly. Since the power of scenery. must be established between you significant other can travel to a come up with one of your own grateful maid’s sides and slowly each character reflects personal And now for the fun part (or and your partner to ensure that party (frat or otherwise) and plan using the basic guidelines set out lifts her up… desires, the individual doesn’t one of them, anyway): costumes! both of you feel safe. Some of the to “meet” during the course of the at the beginning of this article. Popular among married even have to be human. Fantasy role-play is the perfect basic rules can include, but are night. What happens after that is Just remember, role-playing is all couples and kinky college stu- For instance, if the thought opportunity to embrace your not limited to: up to you. about letting go and having fun! dents alike, sexual role-play is of Little Red Riding Hood turns light-hearted side by dressing up. No laughing at your partner an exciting way to spice up an you on, and she wouldn’t mind From skimpy undergarments to a for something he says or does. Nurse & Patient otherwise-dull sex life. While seeing the animal in you come bulky overcoat, costumes and po- It’s his character, and anything Pre-meds, this one may be role-play does not have to be as out, get ready to do your best Big tential props are key to embracing you do to cause insecurity on his more up your alley. Usually, this

Now guys, the date is February 14 and you’re taking her out to dinner—downtown of course, at 7 p.m. sharp. hot You know that they say: seam “the clothes make the s man.” But what ex- actly are you supposed to wear to impress her, sweep her off her feet So ladies, you’ve fi nally met the right guy, you’ve found the location and you’ve set the time. and make the evening It’s the night of your fi rst date, but when you open your closet, you fi nd you have nothing to First date style guide unforgettable? wear! This might happen to you on a daily basis, but tonight’s much more important. This is Ginika Agbim, Scene Fashion Columnist a nice guy and you want to leave the right impression; your mother always told you that fi rst impressions matter the most. So what are you supposed to wear? Here’s a brief checklist for putting together the most eye-catching outfi t to wow your man.

Don’t forget your common sense at home

Check the weather, consider the location of your date and be informed of the various activities in which you will partake. Obviously you wouldn’t wear stiletto heels to a picnic date in the park, and you know better than to wear a strapless top on an “adventure date” such as horseback riding or rock climbing, even if you think you look cute. Using common sense shows your date nothing more than that you have a brain. Always remember to dress the part When deciding what to wear, consider the fact that some restaurants have dress codes. Sometimes a sports coat or suit is required. If so, be sure to have those items cleaned a week in advance.

If there is no dress code, then play it safe with a collared shirt. Wearing a T-shirt on the fi rst date may seem too casual and she may not think you’re taking the date seriously.

Find pieces that fl atter your shape and body type

Obviously you don’t want to wear anything that makes your body look worse, so dress to make yourself feel happy. If your stomach area is a problem zone, try an empire waist top or dress. For those who don’t know, the term empire waist refers to cinching under the bust that then fl ows away from the rest of your midsection. If you’re worried about your shoulders and arms, try a cardigan or a long-sleeve top.

Look clean, smell clean First of all, shower. And after you shower, lightly spray a nice cologne. Cologne or any scent enhancer is more effective when sprayed on your actual body, as opposed to your clothes. Smelling good is one of the primary steps toward looking good and feeling confi dent.

Regardless of the type of restaurant in which you will dine, clean shoes are a must. Some women fi rst look at a man’s shoes when assessing Keep comfort in mind his personality and habits. Clean shoes show that you take pride in your appearance and care about the date. Just because your new Marc Jacobs pumps make your legs look like they go on for days, that doesn’t mean Lastly, boost your confi dence by making sure you’re well groomed. If that you should try breaking them in on your date. it’s time for a haircut or a shave, make sure you get that taken care of. There’s no reason to wear anything you know you can’t While the idea of going to a spa may sound girly, you should by all means walk in. But if you insist, try stuffi ng them with cloth or gel in- do so if you’ve been noticing some extra hair between your eyebrows. soles to give your feet more security. Remember: when you look good, you feel good.

Another thing to keep in mind is that a date is not a time to play dress up or pretend you are someone you’re not (unless the location of your date happens to be a theme party, of course). If you try too hard to be sexy, your date will notice and you’ll come off as insecure. But don’t show up in sweat pants either; under-dressing shows lack of concern and attention toward your new partner.

The solution: dress in a way that shows off your personality. By doing so, -Stay Stylish not only will you show that you care, but you will also be comfortable and show confi dence and security with yourself. (and have a chic Valentine’s Day date!)

PHOTOS BY MCT X12 STUDENT LOVE | SCENE Scene Editor / Shayna Makaron / [email protected] FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009

great reasons (as if sexto weren’t have enough) sex Scott Fabricant Brook Genkin Scene Reporter 7 Scene Online Editor

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be fl ogged? Yeah, me neither. 1. Chill out But recently, I was having a conversa- tion with a friend who is a bit kinky. Stressed? Try a 45-minute sack session to chill out. Before and As it turns out, a few more of my after orgasm, the body releases oxytocin, a hormone known to re- friends have admitted to their own duce stress and improve moods. Engaging in intercourse regularly fantasies in the past couple of weeks. has even been proven to reduce mild anxiety and depression as Soon enough, it started to feel like too well as help insomniacs get rest. A surprising bonus: When more much of a coincidence—I had to fi nd relaxed, the body is better able to absorb nutrients from food. out what all the fuss was about. I started with a simple Google search. This approach was ill advised, 2. Stay healthy dur- especially without the protection of SafeSearch. I managed to discover Fetlife.com (think Fetish Facebook), ing cold/fl u season and a quick look revealed perhaps a thousand or more kinks out there. I Having sex a few times a week has been linked to a higher pro- was forced to narrow my quest down, duction of Immunoglobin A (IgA), an antibody that protects against so I resolved to learn all I could about common viruses such as the cold or fl u. The hormone DHEA is BDSM. also produced during orgasm and is used by the body to balance BDSM, for those not in the know, the immune system and promote bone growth, tissue repair and is a layered acronym. B/D means sharpened cognition.

Bondage and Discipline. D/S means SCOTT FABRICANT | STUDENT LIFE Dominance and Submission. S/M own ideas…I have input, but the fi nal Several means Sadism and Masochism. decision is his.” tables were set up to sell everything Clearly, I was going to need guidance However, not once did I see Bob bar, the city’s only one as far as I from leather clothes to candles to a 3. Pain, what pain? for all of those categories. Luckily, order either Cat or Mouse around, know. I had heard horror stories homemade device called the “fi nger The surge of oxytocin that reduces stress also signals a release Wash. U. has just the thing. nor were either of them sitting quietly before but had never dared set foot fl ogger,” which was demonstrated on of endorphins and corticosteroids, creating analgesic effects that The Alternative Lifestyles As- at his feet waiting for commands. I inside…until now. my hand for eager buyers. All around, relieve aches and pains and have even been proven to reduce the sociation (ALA) is, as one member wouldn’t have even guessed except The front bar was dark, grungy people browsed the items, chatted and frequency, duration and severity of migraine headaches. described, a group dedicated to for the occasional “sir.” and mostly empty, but the back spanked each other. Few noticed the educating the Wash. U. and St. Louis Still, how one could give up total room was much larger, consisting savage beatings on stage. community on alternative sexual control? Couldn’t they be forced to of a respectable bar and dance fl oor, One woman, almost naked, was practices, including BDSM, and help- do horrible things? bizarre wall decorations and many whipped with a stiff rod until red. She 4. Sex makes you ing students and staff explore their “I know his boundaries, and so more people. was crying, clearly upset, but never sexual interests. It’s also perhaps one I know my boundaries are safe,” Aside from a few cowboys in hats used her safe-word. Safe-words are happy of the most misunderstood clubs on Cat said. “I know he wouldn’t let and boots and a couple of fat guys a way to stop play when something campus. anything happen to me that would in leather harnesses, JJ’s appeared really goes wrong. The party’s gen- Feeling down? Try having sex! Not only does it feel good physical- “We are not a sex club,” this actually physically or psychologically the same as any other gay bar. It also eral word is ‘safeword,’ while ALA ly, but it improves mental health as well. The physical engagement member emphasized. “Our meetings harm me. I don’t have to have limits played the same annoying techno-pop encourages a Green-Yellow-Red along with an emotional one encourages the body to release en- are not orgies or play parties. They because I know he does.” remixes. The only major difference is system. dorphins and serotonin, both of which lead to feelings of pleasure are discussions or workshops or tuto- While a voluntary loss of power the inclusion of a small leather shop When she was fi nally taken down, and happiness, thus reducing symptoms of depression. rials on how to properly do the things may be baffl ing to some, submis- right next to the bar. If you ever have she was immediately wrapped in a we do and how to learn more about sives want someone to take the reins; the inclination to buy leather shirts, blanket, caressed and cuddled. ‘After- things people are interested in.” one sub told me she’s uncomfortable vests, shorts, undies, hats, boots, care,’ they called it. She was rapidly It was the ALA and their connec- making her own decisions. Doms, on collars, harnesses, paddles, oversized cycling between laughing and crying, tions with the larger St. Louis BDSM the other hand, are more than willing dildos and unrealistic cock rings (not but mostly she was just exhausted. 5. Bye-bye, cancer community that really started me on to take control given the chance. leather), you’re in the right place. I knew if I came to the BDSM Humans, and all animals, really were by design made to copulate. my journey. They directed me to a BDSM is also more than just I wasn’t the only customer in the party and walked away with only my Not doing so creates an excess of female and male hormones monthly BDSM get-together known kinky sex. In fact, most people I talk- store. I happened, very unexpectedly, hand fl ogged, I’d have failed in my which have been shown to increase the risk of cancer. The good as a Munch. You might be expect- ed to were in committed long-term to be joined by Mr. Missouri Leather mission; I had to go through with the news: Regular engagement in sexual activity promotes normal ing people in leather harnesses and DS-type relationships. In hindsight, it 2007, Scott Fausz, who had an inter- real deal. We found a man named cell-function and growth, reducing the risk of breast cancer in nipple clamps, but not tonight. It was shouldn’t be that surprising. esting take on the fetish. Steve who was willing to beat me. women and prostate cancer in men. all plain clothes, plainer food and “What we do is, in a lot of “Leather to me means being in But before he agreed to anything, he surprisingly plain people. respects, dangerous. It’s a lot of trust, charge of owning your sexuality, sat me down for a serious man-to- Looking back, I realize my a lot of communication. You have to feeling a freedom to explore whatever man talk. stereotypical views were awful, but in be able to talk to the other person and turns you on,” Fausz said. “It could “You might be ready for someone 6. Burn, baby, burn my defense, I’d never met anybody have your needs and wants known,” be in a realm of clothing, or it could to hit you, but are you prepared for into BDSM. Or maybe I had and just Cat said. be any sort of kink or fetish. It can unexpected emotional consequences? didn’t know it. Save for a studded When asked how exactly getting be that you feel sexy in leather or You realize, a [S/M] scene is a very (calories, that is) collar or two as a hint, this gathering beaten can feel good, Cat responded are turned on by seeing images of intimate thing, like kissing. Asking could’ve easily passed for a family by explaining the concept of “sub- another person in it, or it could just be a stranger to fl og you is like asking Sex is defi nitely not a replacement for regular exercise, but it is a reunion. And with no hesitation, they space.” the sexuality that’s represented by a them to kiss you. Would you do great way to supplement a regular workout routine. The aver- took me in as one of the family. When “It’s just like fl ying, like being on person wearing it.” that?” age person engaging in moderately-active sex for 30-45 minutes I revealed that I was writing a news- the best high ever,” she said. “The The Mr. Missouri Leather com- He was right to warn me, but I burns 150-200 calories. paper article, they were more than beating is enjoyable even before petition is part beauty pageant, part knew if nothing ventured, nothing happy to help. The people at my table reaching this state, because that’s talent contest—“Pecs and Personal- gained. I got up on stage, took off my even invited me back to their private how we’re wired, but ‘subspace’ is ity,” as Fausz put it. His winning shirt, spread my legs and saddled up 7. Look better naked dungeon for an interview. the ultimate goal, because nothing is speech was about domestic violence to the giant x-shaped cross. We were better. After the fi rst time I reached in gay relationships. Bit of a looker the only ones on stage; any remain- Much like a regular yoga practice, the different positions held during it, I couldn’t fi nd my butt with both too, boys. ing eyes turned to me. I turned my sex can tone and strengthen muscles that you wouldn’t ordinarily hands, literally.” head to face Steve’s lady friend and target in the gym. At this point, I’m morally ob- I was informed that Cat prefers grinned, and was rewarded with a Want to make your sack session more like a workout? Here are a ligated to tell you, you should turn more ‘thud’ type hits, while Mouse harsh blow to the back. few tips: down that invitation. The BDSM prefers ‘sting’ type whips. After my foray into leather, I I was whipped, thudded, stung While on the bottom, use abdomen muscles to sit up and kiss community, as I learned, is built on After a while, I started to feel at was fi nally ready to take on the play and kneaded in rhythmic crescendo your partner. While on top, use your biceps and triceps to create a principles, notably that everything ease with these people and my sur- party—a monthly get-together hosted by a variety of fl ogging devices. He plank with your body, working abs and arms simultaneously. must be safe, sane and consensual. roundings. I stopped thinking about by a local fetish group. Unlike the explained each toy and technique as More adventurous? Positions like the “lotus” stretch knees and Going to a stranger’s private dungeon the eight-foot x-shaped cross, the Munch, fetish gear is encouraged, he used it, and I listened, half naked hips, releasing built up synovial fl uid and increasing fl exibility of is not safe. I was later told that I man-sized birdcage, spanking bench, toys and couture are sold and BDSM and studious with the occasional joints. Moves that involve putting legs in a V or toward the face should have found someone I trust drawers full of ‘pervertables’ from play does happen, on stage. wince. At times, it felt like a strong and positions like “ballerina” give a nice stretch to hamstrings. The who could vouch for them, or at the Home Depot, various swords and As I walked toward the door, a massage, at others it felt odd, novel “arch” and “stand and carry” require some work but work several very least, called someone and told knives, edible paint and no fewer than woman breezed out through it. A and almost pleasurable, but usually muscle groups at one time, strengthening muscle groups that may them where I was going and when I two dozen whips, fl oggers, canes and frilly green skirt, purple stockings and it just felt like I was getting beaten. not be as effectively targeted in the gym. expected to return. paddles. a black corset—the walking piñata Within fi ve minutes, or possibly an The dungeon belonged to a guy After almost four hours of chat- looked satisfi ed. An unassuming man hour, it was over. named Bob, who lives with his wife/ ting, laughing, sharing stories and came up behind her. They struck up Afterwards, as I donned my shirt Some less obvious benefi ts of sex include: slave Cat, as well as his submissive, testing a few of their toys, it was time a conversation with another woman, and coat and walked down off the Mouse. to go. But something Bob said near and through shameless eavesdrop- stage, I felt a bit tingly and slightly Better bladder control: Regular use of Kegel muscles (muscles The master/slave dynamic is a the end of the night stuck with me: ping, I came to learn they were mar- woozy. Endorphins! It was then that used in sex and to hold in urine) makes them stronger. voluntary power exchange. Cat (the “We are no different than the ried. In fact, they’d met at this very I started to understand why someone Stronger, healthier teeth: Semen contains zinc, calcium and “slave”) will do anything Bob (the person next door,” Bob said. “We same event, eight years ago. might enjoy this. For the right person, other minerals that hinder tooth decay. “master”) tells her and has given him still lead normal productive lives. We Another man came out of the dark this feeling could be downright Improved sense of smell: The body produces the hormone pro- total control of everything in her life, are still members of the community room. He was wearing a homemade sexual. lactin post-intercourse, which stimulates stem cells in the brain to including fi nances, while Mouse (the and society. We put our pants on one red latex vest, a latex trench coat and The next day, I asked my friend in form new neurons in the olfactory region of the brain, thus enhanc- “sub”) has negotiated a more limited leg at a time, even if they may be latex trousers, the snazziest outfi t I’ve the ALA why she enjoys getting hit. ing our sense of smell. power exchange. leather.” ever seen. I knew immediately who “Why does hitting feel good? Reduces the risk of heart disease: Patients who engage in “As far as I am concerned, what- It was an inspirational lesson, for he was; he was Latex, the man was That’s a silly question,” she said. “It’d regular sexual intercourse have been shown to be half as likely as ever he says goes,” Cat said. “That sure. Specifi cally, it inspired me to talked of so reverently at the Munch be like asking why a blow job feels others to develop heart disease. doesn’t mean that I don’t have my visit a leather bar. and who personally constructed Bob’s good. It just does.” own thoughts, my own opinions, my JJ’s Clubhouse is a gay/leather cage.

:How scary can three little words be?

Hana Schuster to be open and uninhibited; if we pretty pathetic methods. Even mantic, and we loved each other was disappointed; I wanted my you,” is NOT the same thing as Scene Reporter have a thought or a feeling, we I was too scared to tell my platonically. After a phone call, first “I love you” to be amazingly saying, “Will you marry me?” shout it out loud until someone boyfriend I love him—I was we would both say, “I love you. romantic—one that would sweep or “Let’s move in together,” or acknowledges us. As college stu- convinced it would freak him out Bye!” and it never felt strange— me off my feet. But I survived. At “I want to have your baby.” So “I LOVE chocolate!” my dents, things aren’t quite the same (and it probably would have at the we didn’t think twice about it. least it wasn’t a text message. let’s not get carried away here. brother shouted on his third birth- anymore. time). Plus, it is my policy that It’s not that it was the kind of The truth is, everyone is afraid There is no reason for us to be so day, as our mother brought out We can no longer blurt out our the guy should say it first. So, I “I love you” that middle school of saying “I love you” and not terrified. a decadent chocolate cake with feelings to anyone and everyone. often confessed my love to him girls say excitedly to anyone they hearing it said back. When you The bottom line: If you feel rainbow sprinkles. Overwhelmed We can no longer expect people in a foreign language instead. He recognize (read: “OMG! I. Love. love someone, the last thing you that way, you should say it. We by his feelings for chocolate, he to cater to those feelings. And, speaks German, so I would jok- You!!”); we genuinely cared want to do is push him/her away all need to relax a little and put stuck his face in the cake the sec- unfortunately, we can no longer ingly say to him, “Ich liebe dich” about each other. by creating an uncomfortable the text messages, e-mails and ond it was put in front of him. be carefree enough to say “I love (I love you). Problem solved; he But as soon as we were offi- situation like that, so everyone foreign languages aside. Come up At that age, it is easy to admit you” without a second thought. didn’t take my German seriously, cially a couple, the “I love you’s” seems to be waiting for the other with something different—a fun- our love for anything and anyone. In fact, the thought of admitting and I was still able to tell him stopped. He sent me roses almost person to say it first, which obvi- ny, creative way of saying it for In fact, three-year-olds seem to such strong feelings tends to scare how I felt…kind of. every month, took me to fancy ously never works. the first time that still shows that “love” just about everything: people half to death. My ex-boyfriend told me he dinners, opened doors for me—he If you are in a relationship you mean what you’re saying. If Mom, Dad, the dog, the red Pow- Because it is so difficult for loved me years before we ever was a true romantic. But the first with someone and feel that you are relaxed and genuine, my er Ranger, the teddy bear named people to say those words out started dating. We were best time he said “I love you” to me strongly, chances are he/she feels guess is your sweetheart won’t be Freddy. As children, we are able loud, they can resort to some friends before anything got ro- romantically was in an e-mail. I the same way. Saying, “I love able to resist saying it back. FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 Photo Editor / Evan Wiskup / [email protected] STUDENT LOVE | PHOTO X13 The Little Dildo That Could

Lily Schorr The Sequel Photo Editor 1 Once upon a time, there was a little dildo who belonged to a girl 6 at Wash. U., and the two were very happy together. One day The little dildo tried to ignore him. The next test was one of when the little dildo woke up, the agility and the little dildo knew that if he focused he could win. girl told him, “I’m going to bring Whichever dildo could wiggle the farthest into the closet full of you a special surprise tonight!” shoes in 30 seconds would win. “One, two, three, go!” they And that’s when things started to both shouted. The little dildo dove down and wriggled as fast change. as he could between the shoes. It was dark and he couldn’t see how far the big dildo had gotten but he thought he heard some crashing behind him. When the time was up, the little dildo surfaced from the darkness and sure enough he had left the big dildo in the dust.

All tied up, they knew that the last part was the most important: the test of endurance. “Oh no!” 7 said the little dildo. “It sounds like The Rock of Love Bus is on TV in the common room.” They walked in and sure enough, The little dildo sat in the a marathon had just started. common room all day “We’ll watch it and whoever wondering what his special cracks and has to turn it off fi rst surprise would be. “Oils,” he loses.” “Nearabout looks like I’m thought. “No, too slippery. fi xin’ to get revenge for The War Hmm. Maybe she bought me of Northern Aggression,” said some new textured sleeves.” the big dildo. So they sat down 2 to watch. 3

Finally the girl walked into the suite with a big shopping bag. “I 20 minutes later, both of the dildos were fi ghting brought you a friend!” she exclaimed, and pulled out a brand their every instinct not to run as far away from the new big dildo. “Well howdy,” said the new dildo in a strong TV as possible. “It’s so painful,” groaned the big southern drawl. The little dildo was stunned. Was he not good dildo as it rolled on the fl oor. “I’m getting dumber enough for her? The girl didn’t notice the little dildo’s worry. She by the second,” cried the little dildo. “Why am I said, “I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” and she putting myself through this?” The big dildo began left for the estrogym. As soon as she left the big dildo turned to beg, “just give up already so we can make this to the little dildo and said, “Jus’ so you know, there’s a new end!” The two dildos stared at each other. sheriff in town now.” “No way!” retorted the little dildo, “she’ll realize I was all she ever needed after she tries you.” His voice 8 wavered at the end and the big dildo grinned and said, “Well you’re as nervous as a whore in church. Bring it on Yankee!” Finally, the little dildo offered an olive That night the little dildo was 9 branch. “Truce?” he offered. The big sexiled and spent the night on dildo sighed. “I guess.” The big dildo the bathroom fl oor. By the time got up to turn off the TV, but as he morning broke, he had made up approached it he realized he couldn’t his mind. “I’ll just have to prove reach. “Oh no!” he wailed in despair. that I can hold my own against All hope seemed lost, but then the little him.” As soon as the girl left for dildo had an idea. “If I stand on top of the day the little dildo challenged you, I think we can reach it.” “I guess the big dildo to a face-off. The it’s worth a try,” the big dildo said terms: Whoever lost had to skeptically. The little dildo hopped on 4 remove his batteries forever. and sure enough, it worked. 5 “Yay!” said the little dildo, “I guess us working together isn’t such a bad 10 thing after all.” “You’re right,” agreed the big dildo. “I guess if we combine our talents we can achieve greater things than either of us could alone.” “I love teamwork!” exclaimed the little dildo. “Let’s be best friends!” The two dildos hugged. Later that night when their owner returned to The fi rst test was a test of strength. Each dildo put a marketing book on his head and the dorm room, both dildos were vibrated to see who could throw it the farthest. The little dildo went fi rst: six inches. happily waiting in bed for her. “What “Beat that,” he scoffed. The big dildo took a few practice vibrations and then took his adventures I’ve had,” thought the little turn: 8 inches. The big dildo started laughing. “You ain’t got no more chance than a dildo. And they all lived happily ever kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on,” he said. after. STUDENT LIFE | SEX ISSUE ♥ FRIDAY | FEBRUARY 13, 2009 X14

MATT MITGANG AND EVAN WIISKUP | STUDENT LIFE