OLUME 3 NUMBER 1 FEBRUARY, 1992 THE WRIGHT STUFF THE OFFICIAL NEWSLETTER OF THE U.S.S. KITTY HAWK NCC 1659
CONVENTIONS
PRO OR CON
THE WRIGHT STUFF
VOLUME 3 CONTENTS NUMBER I
A VIEW FROM THE CATBIRD SEAT
FIRST OFFICER'S LOG 2
SECOND OFFICER'S LOG 2
CHIEF ENGINEER'S LOG 2
JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE' 3 THE AIR AND SPACE FORAY 3 WRIGHT ERIN GO BRAGH 4 DOIN' THE CON THING AGAIN 4 STUFF 10-FORWARD SPECIALS 4 VOLUME 3 NO. 1 AWAY TEAM REPORT 5 is a publication of the U.S.S. Kitty LOVE IS 5 Hawk, the Raleigh, N.C. chapter of STARFLEET, an international STAR CLASSIFIED!!!! TOP SECRET 5 TREK fan organization. This publication is provided free of charge, to TRIVIA TEST 5 all chapter members in good standing. Subscriptions for non-members are $8.00 per year (six issues). Please address all correspondence to CATBIRD Publications, 5017 Glen Forest Dr., Raleigh, N.C. 27612. This publication is a non-profit enterprise and is not meant to infringe upon any copyright or trademark held by Paramount Pictures, CREDITS Gulf & Western, or any other holder of STARTREK copyrights or trademarks. PUBLISHER J. R. FISHER Unless otherwise noted, ENTIRE EDITOR JANE FISHER CONTENTS ARE COPYRIGHT 1992 ASSISTANTS AND CONTRIBUTERS LYNETTE CROWLEY CATBIRD Publications/THE WRIGHT J.R. FISHER STUFF. Nothing in whole or in part JEFF HABRYCH may be used without the written PAT HEINSKE permission of the publisher. THE DEBORAH HERNDON WRIGHT STUFF assumes all material CAREY MUSE submitted for publication is gratis. The LARRY PISCHKE publisher and editors reserve the right to LIZ READ edit all submissions. ELAINE ROYAL TERESA TUEL
6 F .11E7 4:44.010. TOOL BOX: Dramen 386/25; Hewlett Packard LaserJet III; Logitech Scanman Plus; WordPerfect; Logitech Ansel Image Editing Software.
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A VIEW FROM THE CATBIRD S SEAT By J. R. Fisher
If you haven't already heard, FAN because it will make it easier to do, have an idea for an activity we haven't OUT has been cancelled! NO MORE! which it will; but because then we will thought of, speak up. This is an GONE! all have fun. opportunity for everyone on the ship to Such is the life of conventions. If you This is one of the few major cities in learn something and have a good time. have been attending cons for 10 or more the east to not have a Star Trek Enough on that for now. years, then you have probably noticed a convention done by fandom. We can I would remind you that you need to great deal of change in their flavor. change that. By starting small and check your Communique for the This will vary according to the type of growing at a steady pace, we can expiration date on your STARFLEET con ( science fiction, Star Trek, gaming, become a good con, a fun con, and a membership. Also, it will be March fantasy, etc.), where it is located and if popular con. Trek is not going away. when you read this, so it is time to pay it is a professional con or a fan con. Those of us on the Kitty Hawk may drift your dues on the Kitty Hawk. We Which brings us to our topic. away from all of this over the coming haven't mentioned them before now We have a Creation Con here in years. But we will be replaced by new because everyone seems to be spent out Raleigh on March 15th. Our people discovering what you and I from Christmas. Hopefully everyone has participation is limited to a recruiting already know about Trek. recovered by now, but if you find table and maybe a couple of security Whether we do a con in part or yourself still in a bind, please contact me people. The cost at the door will be independently, we do need to get the privately and we will see if arrangements $16.00. If you want a table in the message of Trek back to the people in can be made; otherwise, we assume you dealers' room, one table is $225.00. All this area. They have been burned don't wish to maintain your membership. this for a six hour con in which you will repeatedly by the conventions and that Our dues are $24.00 per year with new hear the guest speak, get an autograph has hurt the image of all organized and members joining later than January (maybe), see some bloopers, get the unorganized Star Trek fans. We need to getting a prorated fee. If you have been latest Trek news, and spend your money show these people that we are not money attending meetings, you are exercising a with the dealers or at an auction. grabbing profiteers with a dog and pony privilege for which you are expected to The con in December was roundly show. But that we see a future that is pay. Please make checks payable to criticized for not having any bright and desirable and more U.S.S. Kitty Hawk and we would like entertainment other than bloopers, our importantly obtainable. Obtainable, if them before the end of March. auction, our beloved fleet admiral doing we start now to fashion that world we If you attend M.O.C., we may be trivia, and the opportunity to spend your want for our descendants, by changing launching a shuttle there with Steve Cox money: These same complaints were in one person at a time until the whole as the C.O. great evidence at the con in January of world sees the dream. Please be on time for the P.B.S. '91, and at the Creation Con last spring. Now, I know that all of the above telethon and if you have not signed up I Our question is: Do you want to sounds mighty pompous and supercilious am sure we could use you and it is continue our limited participation in and maybe it is considering our meager always a lot of fun. these professional cons (sorry, I don't efforts thus far. We could devote most It has been suggested by the N.C. think they were professionally done, just of our time and energy this year to this Department of Transportation that we totally profit motivated) or do we want endeavor and it may well fall on its face have a highway clean-up on or about to 1) stay away from them as a group; as far as public response and monies April 4th, O.K.? or 2) become major players in these cons raised for charities. But we will have by providing the entertainment for some done something, and we will have had sort of compensation? Do we want to do fun doing it. a con ourselves? These are questions to After all, isn't that why we meet as a the crew as a crew. It is not group? Surely, all of you are not my STARFLEET's position, the Kitty fan club who come to these meetings just Hawk's position, or my position to ever to hear me talk. Not everyone is going say to you that you as an individual to want to do the same things and that is should or should not support someone the way it should be. If there is else's convention. But if we choose to something you want to participate in, but do a con as a ship then every one of us maybe not direct it, volunteer yourself to needs to get behind it 100 %. Not the person who is directing it. If you
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 1 FEBRUARY, 1992 FIRST OFFICER'S LOG By Teresa Tuel
Star Trek is coming to the National Air 5:30 P.M. daily. For more information area. Good, comfortable walking shoes and Space Museum of the Smithsonian call (9 A.M. - 5 P.M. daily) (202) 357- are a must for this trip. Institute, Washington, D.C. The exhibit 2700. STAMPEDE will open February 28, 1992, and run to It takes approximately 5 hours to drive We are still collecting postage stamps September, 1992. The exhibit examines from Durham, N.C. to Washington for charity. Please leave a 1/2 - 1 inch in retrospect the historical, political, (traveling with traffic which may be border around the stamps. I am social, and cultural issues and themes of doing warp 7-8). The exhibit is free, collecting and sorting the stamps for the the 1960's that were incorporated into leaving the major cost to be food. I ship. We have collected over 500 the weekly shows. Free admission. The would suggest a packed breakfast/lunch stamps already. Thank you for all the museums are open from 10:00 A.M. to and have dinner outside of the D.C. donations.
SECOND OFFICER'S LOG By Carey Muse
First of all I would like to join Captain Choice. They have done this before never seen. Again, the release date on Fisher and First Officer Tuel in thanking with the GODFATHER PART III which this is in March. If you are that much a everyone for coming out and being a was a director's cut and it showed new fan of Star Trek you will probably want part of Trek-A-Rama. We may scenes from the GODFATHER. They to buy it. experience some fallout because of the will be continuing this in March with I would like to extend my convention, but I think on the whole two directors, one of which I have congratulations to Pat Heinske on his everybody who worked the convention forgotten, but the other one will be recent award and promotion. Pat has had a good time and enjoyed themselves. STAR TREK IV, director's cut by been an active and involved crew One thing to note in this column, in Leonard Nimoy. This will include some member since coming aboard the USS March Paramount will be releasing a behind the scenes footage as well as Kitty Hawk. new series of movies called Director's added footage from the movie that was
CHIEF ENGINEER'S LOG By Pat Heinske
Stardate 9201.19 - 2:00 A.M. - Teresa and stretches from the capitol building to us. Then we headed over to the Tuel, Larry Pischke, Elaine Royal and I the Lincoln Memorial) and walked Museum of Natural History and looked took off from Raleigh, N.C. to a place around and took some pictures. The around 'til they booted us out. where some of the most monumental, weather was a bit cool - 90 degrees It was time for supper then, so I world-shaping decisions are made every below with a wind chill factor of suggested the Hard Rock Cafe. single day - (no, not Al Bundy's absolute zero (I guess Congress wasn't in Everyone agreed, and so we took the bathroom) - Washington, D.C. session that morning) so we waited by Metro (the D.C. subway system - very We arrived about 7:00 A.M. and the entrance to the Air and Space clean) to that side of town (rather scary) located a parking garage near the Museum until they let us in. We spent and ate supper and libated ourselves with Smithsonian Institution, then ate the day looking around, taking pictures, hurricanes (except for Teresa - she breakfast inn the hotel above. Then we and spending money - almost like a con, volunteered to drive). Then, after 58 walked over to the mall (the park that except without all the weird people that groups inn the cafe had celebrated their divides the buildings of the Smithsonian show up at those things - you know, like birthdays (continued on page 3)
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 2 FEBRUARY, 1992 (CHIEF ENGINEER continued from page 2) and a banana split was devoured by us for dessert, we headed back to JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE? Larry's shuttle to leave, and found that A BOOK REVIEW the warp drive coils were shorted out. By Jeff Habrych So Elaine called AAA (Alphacentauri Automotive Assistance) and they regenerated the warp field for us, and with Teresa at the helm (pretty scary) we Robert Asprin, who brought us the introduces each chapter giving the reader made our way homeward. "Thieve's World", the adventures of the an insight into things to come. (This is Great Skeeve and Aahz (no relation) in similar to the way Mr. Asprin intro's the MYTH Adventures, now brings us each chapter in the MYTH Adventures.) the next great adventure of Captain Since Becker is not formally in the Space AIR AND Jester and the Omega Mob in, "Phule's Legion and not in the chain of command Paradise". he is able to narrate the story from SPACE FORAY A little background for those unfamiliar differing points of view. By Larry Pischke with the first book, "Phule's Company". The mission: They have been hired by Captain Jester, aka. Willard Phule, the a naive young Gunther Rafael to act as youngest megamultimillionaire in the security guards in his soon to open known universe, son of Victor Phule casino, The FAT CHANCE, on the Date: Sunday, January 19, 1992. owner and CEO of Phule-Proof gambling world, Lorelei. Time: 2:30 a.m. (UGH?). Munitions, and probably the only Space As usual, it is up to Captain Jester and Destination: The Smithsonian National Legionnaire to start off his military his band of military misfits to figure Air and Space Museum, Washington, career with his first court-martial. "What's wrong with this picture", while D.C. As punishment Captain Jester along fighting off a takeover of the casino, The shuttle departed at the above with his gentleman's gentleman, Becker, entertaining beautiful women, not ungodly hour. The crew consisted of are sent to Haskin's Planet to be blowing their cover, smoozing the casino First Officer Teresa (it was her idea; company commander of the biggest entertainment, and not blowing up we'll get her later), Chief Engineer Pat, bunch of miscreants and misfits in the everything in sight and killing everyone. Ensign Elaine, and myself. After Space Legion. From the get go this story keeps you driving through the wee hours, we Through a combination of trust, riveted page after page with a plot that arrived in D.C. (Darn Cold!) at about encouragement, a little butt kicking, and has a tendency to make sharp right turns 7:30 a.m., when, of course, NOTHING not to mention money, Captain Jester is when you least expect it. I had a hard is open. We consoled ourselves with a able to lead the Omega Mob through an time putting the book down because of $3.00 a glass orange juice breakfast, encounter with the army's crack Red this. Every time you think you have then headed for the Mall. Eagles, their own self doubt, several someone or something figured out or Fortunately for us, a kindly guard took "small" personality conflicts, an think you know what is going to happen pity on us as we developed hypothermia encounter with a new alien intelligence next,
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 3 FEBRUARY, 1992 By Deborah Herndon
Between the ideas of green beer and We could all dedicate a day to each to overcome odds most believe are the chaos of national fighting is where country and celebrate it on March 17th. insurmountable. Yes, indeed Patrick (a the true spirit of St. Patrick's Day lies. Hey, why not! I've discovered that it's monk in Ireland) was Irish, but more Ireland is a country that is rich in St. Patrick's Day not Ireland Day we than that he was a man who fought and history, culture, and heritage and celebrate. So what we really should be won. That is what we are really unfortunately is the only country that celebrating is one man's faith and celebrating. This idea is what makes actually gets a U.S. day celebrating it. courage and the undying spirit of all men STARFLEET what it is also.
DOIN' THE 10-FORWARD SPECIALS CON THING By Deborah Herndon AGAIN By Pat Heinske MIND/BODY CHANGER DON'T OPEN THE HATCH FOR FEAR OF... 1 Shot Everclear 1 Shot Rum STARDATE: 9112.08. 1 Shot Vodka 4 Cups scalding water The Place: Trek-A-Rama at the 1 Shot Whiskey 2 Shots Vodka with Paprika (a pinch) Mission Valley Inn. 1 Shot Tequila 4 Large Jalapenos The guest: Denise Crosby. 1 Alien's eyeball About a dozen members of the Kitty MATTER- ANTIMATTER Hawk crew worked security for the con, IT DON'T MATTER THE WESLEY WETTER including myself, and few hassles were found, so a good time was had by most, 1 6 Oz. Glass if not all of the group. 1 Tall chilled glass or short hot glass 2 Oz. Grape Juice The event actually started the night 7 Oz Pepsi, or Coke, or 7-Up, or Apple 2 Oz. Cranberry Juice before with a party in our con suite, and juice, or ... 1 Oz. Papaya Juice continued the next morning with a 3 Oz Gin, or Rum, or Vodka, or 20 "I know the answer to the universe" hospitality suite for Miss Crosby, who Whiskey statements. barely made it there in time. But she did, so we had a quick photo and autograph session, and then we escorted "THE GAME" her down to the auditorium. She spoke (nothing we haven't heard before) and One pair dark sunglasses then signed autographs. Then, since she 4 Glasses Vodka had an early flight out, she left early in One tall wall the day, which left STARFLEET and the dealers to keep the crowd happy until ONE SINGULAR 5:00 P.M. Somehow, we managed to do SENSATION it, but hopefully, we won't have to again (at least not that part of it). 1 Shot Clorox I enjoyed working this con, whether or 1 Tbsp. Comet not people in general thought it was a 2 Cups Tide BE SURE TO NOTE OTHER 10- good or bad con, but it was a good 4 Oz. Pepsi FOWARD SPECIALS ELSEWHERE experience, and I'm definitely going to Never tried twice. IN THIS ISSUE! do it again.
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 4 FEBRUARY, 1992 shuttle us all home. Except for some problems with the shuttle and the AWAY TEAM disappointment at not seeing the Star Trek exhibit, and almost freezing to CLASSIFIED!!!! REPORT death, we had a great time. Really. By Elaine Royal Honest. TOP SECRET By Lynette Crowley
Stardate 1/19/92. It began in typical fashion - various crew members were LOVE IS wandering aimlessly through another By Deborah Herndon Identify the serial numbers below by giving weekend, when suddenly, our fearless the name, rank, and position. first officer devised a plan to relieve the (i.e. E 342 413 - LT. SINGH, boredom. After rounding up several ENGINEERING OFFICER) unsuspecting volunteers (Lt. Cmdr. Cards, flowers, candy, etc... These are SC 937-0176 CEC Heinske, Ltjg. Pischke and Ensign all items we traditionally give on EC 948-885 Royal), Cmdr. Tuel briefed us on our February 14th. FC 420-158 CEC mission - a factfinding trip to In 1992, the CHC 173-950 Washington, D.C. She had heard new year of NC 987-879 rumors of Star Trek related activities at world peace and OC 247-276 the Smithsonian Institute and our intergalactic get- CCE 540-621 assignment was to verify and assess the togetherness let S 179-276 SP nature of these activities. So, in the us remember ST 113-414 dead of the night we left Raleigh in Mr. what love really M 324-004 Pischke's newly refitted shuttlecraft, means when we SM 357-977 arriving in the Capital city just after express it. CME 013-461 SE 197-514 dawn, only to find that the city was still Giving a stranger a smile, helping CTE 080-495 closed for the night. We managed to Mother Nature by keeping her streets CSE 650-749 obtain food and warmth in the L'Enfant and parks clean, volunteering time to Plaza Hotel restaurant, then ventured read to the elderly, or being a big forth into the freezing morning air. brother/sister are only some ways love is Upon arrival at the Air and Space given. And when we give of ourselves Museum, we discovered we still had a and our love, we are bound to receive it TRIVIA TEST while to wait until it opened, but a back. So remember on February 14th By Deborah Herndon kindly security guard took pity on us and that today we as a nation celebrate the ushered us into the lobby, where we gift of love, but as people we must soon thawed out. Our team then spent remember there are 364 more days and 1. Where did the U.S.S. Enterprise the next 7 hours or so in close no matter who you are you can give land in Star Trek IV when they examination of every exhibit in the AND receive love with or without the traveled back in time? museum, including our ship's namesake, flowers, cards, candy, etc. 2. What was the form changers name the Kitty Hawk, or Wright Flyer. (Character and star)? However, the Star Trek rumors turned 3. What was Spock's response to out to be somewhat inaccurate. (For Scotty on his statement "We're those of you interested in following up going to die" in Star Trek VI on our initial foray, the exhibit is movie? scheduled to begin February 26th and 4. What should Spock have done run until sometime in September.) Our instead of volunteering them for the mission now accomplished, we ventured mission? 5. What is the name of the Vulcan across the mall to the Museum of sister planet? Natural History where we saw Bones 6. What is Spock's mother's last (dinosaur, that is) and Stones (the Hope name? Diamond, for example. I was not 7. What were Kirk's brother's and impressed.) Finally, we decided to end nephew's names? our excursion with dinner at the Hard 8. Who was Kirk's academy nemesis? Rock Cafe, where the three junior 9. What is McCoy's daughter's name? members of the away team were hit by Hurricanes, leaving our first officer to
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 5 FEBRUARY, 1992 DEPARTMENTAL REPORTS
ENGINEERING MEDICAL SECURITY By Pat Heinske HEALTH CARE - YOUR By Carey Muse RESPONSIBILITY At the January meeting, I was the By Liz Read The Security Department would like to thrilled recipient of two surprising thank all members of the Kitty Hawk honors - first, a promotion to the rank of In 1980, the Surgeon General stated who came out to Trek-A-Rama and Lieutenant Commander; and second, the that half of the deaths in the US each worked the convention both at the table distinction of being named the U. S.S. year are from unhealthy lifestyles. I and as part of the security team for the Kitty Hawk's 1991 Crewman of the don't think much has changed in the past convention. Commendations go to Jeff Year. I was shocked, which says a lot, 12 years; it may even be worse, now Habrych, Larry Pischke, Andy Sink, because those that know me best know that we have AIDS to worry about. John Troan, Tara Weaver, and Pat that nothing shocks me. (And AIDS is preventable!) Heinske and special thanks to Kevin for I want to thank everyone in Take care of someone who is important his undercover work at breakfast. These STARFLEET that makes it such a fun to all of us on the Kitty Hawk - YOU! people did an excellent job of providing place to be, because if I didn't enjoy Take the responsibility to perform some security to the convention. Should we myself and the group, I probably preventive maintenance on yourself (like provide security for more conventions, I wouldn't have done all the things I have you do on your car). Eat sensibly, will pick different teams and ask for over the past year. The conventions, the exercise, sleep enough to be rested. different volunteers. meetings, the road trips, the V-ball Have regular check-ups and don't forget Since we are beginning talks with the games, the parties, yes, even the your teeth and eyes (the vision test at Klingons toward a Peace Treaty, I see no highway clean-ups - none of these would DMV doesn't count). If you take harm in allowing Klingon spies to be be as much fun without the deranged medicines, take them correctly, and allowed on ship; however, some of the bunch of psychos that make up our crew. don't take other drugs (including alcohol) more radical factions of the crew will be Thank you, again. without checking with your doctor or continually monitored. I am, however, I would also like to congratulate pharmacist first. concerned about Romulans; I am not everyone else who was promoted at the Ladies - annual Pap tests and monthly convinced of the First Officer's claim January meeting, with special attention to self-breast exams. Gentlemen - monthly that the Romulan we have been seeing is Larry Pischke, who has become our new self-testicular exams. Everyone - a twin cousin. I am more and more Chief of Operations, and Debbie hearing tests and glaucoma screening as convinced by the First Officer's actions Herndon, who has become our new you get a little older. Prevention, at Trek-A-Rama. I found her talking in Recreations Officer. prevention, prevention. some sort of code to guest Denise Same thing applies to accidents: It is Crosby. Could Ms. Crosby be a much easier to not have them than to put Romulan or spy? Hnun? REUNIFICATOR you back together again after one. So be careful. Sure, nobody gets out of this DOUBLE DIRTY 1 Cup Pepsi world alive (except Mr. Spock) but don't FERENGI 1/2 Cup Schnapps cheat yourself out of one single moment. 1 Tbsp. Feathers Live long and prosper. 2 Shots of Super Glue 2 Shots of Rum HOW'S YOUR LATIN? 2 Shots of Vodka Thanks to Liz Read's uncle who is a 2 Shots of Cranberry Juice BLAST IN THE HOLD linguist. He sent her a translation of the 2 Seconds for Ferengi to steal it. Latin exchange between Picard and 4 Shots Everclear Wesley in the episode "The Game". QUANDARY 2 Tbsp. Tabasco Picard: "Duo modo tua Latinatos est?" ("How is your Latin?") 2 Jalapeno Peppers 1 Box of Trivia Questions Wesley: "Praestat quam prius. " 1 Ice Cube 4 Shots of Gin ("Better than before.") 12 Shots of Vodka Picard: "Oppido bonum." 1 Muddled mind ("Well done.")
THE WRIGHT STUFF PAGE 6 FEBRUARY, 1992 COMING EVENTS:
MARCH 14 - PBS TELETHON 15 - CREATION CON 21 - ST. PATTY'S PARTY 22 - DUKE PHONE-A-THON 26 - 29 - M.O.C. APRIL 04 - KITTY HAWK - HIGHWAY CLEANUP 11 - HORSEBACK RIDING 26 - NATURE TREK MAY 02 - KITTY HAWK MEETING 29 - 31 - LANDING PARTY 30, 31 - DUKE CHILDREN'S TELETHON
THE WRIGHT STUFF 5017 Glen Forest Drive Raleigh, N. C. 27612