Christian Ulvert (left), LOCAL NAME pictured next to his husband. GLOBAL COVERAGE Photo via Facebook. DECEMBER 23, 2020 VOL. 11 // ISSUE 51

PAGE 4 POWERBROKER CHRISTIAN ULVERT, THE MAN BEHIND THE CANDIDATES

SOUTHFLORIDAGAYNEWS @SFGN SFGN.COM NEWS HIGHLIGHT SouthFloridaGayNews.com

@SFGN December 23, 2020 • Volume 11 • Issue 51 2520 N. Dixie Highway • Wilton Manors, FL 33305 SKI CHAMPION COMES OUT AS GAY Phone: 954-530-4970 Fax: 954-530-7943 Publisher • Norm Kent [email protected] ‘IT’S A PART OF ME AND I’M PROUD OF IT’ Associate Publisher / Executive Editor • Jason Parsley [email protected] Kim Swan Editorial Art Director • Brendon Lies [email protected] Webmaster • Kimberly Swan fter struggling to keep his sexual [email protected] orientation a secret, Hig Roberts is the Social Media Director • Christiana Lilly first elite men’s Alpine skier to come Arts/Entertainment Editor • J.W. Arnold A [email protected] out as gay. In an interview with the New Food/Travel Editor • Rick Karlin York Times, Roberts said that by coming out Gazette News Editor • John McDonald publicly he hopes others are encouraged to HIV Editor • Sean McShee be themselves as well. Senior Photographer • J.R. Davis [email protected] “I just woke up one morning and I said, ‘Enough is enough,’” Roberts told the Times. Senior Feature Columnists Brian McNaught • Jesse Monteagudo “I love this sport more than anything — I’m so lucky and privileged to be doing this Correspondents Dori Zinn • Donald Cavanaugh — but I can’t go on another day not trying Christiana Lilly • John McDonald to achieve the person that I am meant to Denise Royal • David-Elijah Nahmod be. Which I think for each and every one Contributing Columnists of us, one of those main goals needs to be Pier Angelo • Terri Schlichenmeyer happiness and authenticity.” Dana Rudolph • Ric Reily One of the reasons why he decided Associate Photographers to come out was because of his younger Carina Mask • Steven Shires brother Murphy, who taught him one of his Sales & Marketing most valuable lessons: live every day as your For ad placement in SFGN, authentic self. contact 954-530-4970 Roberts told the Times that Murphy was Sales Manager • Justin Wyse the “most special person” [email protected] in his life, so when he died Senior Advertising Associate • Edwin Neimann at the age of 22 in 2016 [email protected] after a diabetic seizure ROBERTS SAID Advertising Associate • Thom Burnham during a hike, it was a • Noah Lebel blow that almost ended his THAT BY COMING Distribution Services career. OUT PUBLICLY Sales Consultant • Charles A. Reid So, after a break from National Advertising skiing, Roberts wore a Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 helmet with the slogan HE HOPES [email protected] “Send it for Murph.” OTHERS ARE Accounting Services by CG Bookkeeping Printing by Stuart Web Inc. Roberts wants to help Hig Roberts. Photo via @higroberts, Instagram. foster spaces where ENCOURAGED TO athletes are comfortable BE THEMSELVES realizing the potential we also have just as easy an ability to change enough to come out while have here, to change this,” that narrative for yourself,” he said to Out. SFGN Winner of still playing. AS WELL. according to Out. “If it’s too scary to do it, you’re not a coward. & 5 Florida Press Club Awards He hopes to get involved For now, he offers a You’re not a weak person.” And runner-up for with Olympic athletes in simple piece of advice for Roberts looks forward to living freely, the NLGJA Journalist of the Year the future, whether that’s “through agency queer athletes: be happy. way his brother taught him to. or managerial positions, getting involved in “You can drive yourself into the darkest “I am gay,” Roberts told the Times. “It’s SOUTH FLORIDA GAY NEWS.COM, INC. IOC or the USSP, or groups like Wasserman realms of holes and loneliness. I think a lot part of me and I’m proud of it, and I’m ready — — Media Group or LA Foundation, who are of people are doing that right now, but you to be happy.” FOUNDED, DECEMBER, 2009 BY PIER GUIDUGLI AND NORM KENT

South Florida Gay News is published weekly. The opinions expressed in columns, stories, and letters to the editor do not represent the opinions of SFGN, or the Publisher. You should not COVER 1: Hig Roberts. Photo via @higroberts, Instagram. presume the sexual orientation of individuals based on their names or pictorial representations. Furthermore the word “gay” in SFGN COVER 2: Christian Ulvert (left), pictured next to his husband. Photo via Facebook. should be interpreted to be inclusive of the entire LGBT community. All of the material/columns that appears in print and online, including articles used in conjunction with the AP, is protected under federal copyright and intellectual property laws, and is jealously guarded by the newspaper. Nothing published may be reprinted in whole or part without getting written consent from the Publisher, at his law office, at [email protected]. SFGN, as a private corporation, reserves the right to enforce its own standards regarding the suitability of advertising copy, illustrations and photographs. Associated Press Copyright © 2020 South Florida Gay News.com, Inc.

2 • 12.23.2020 12.23.2020 • 3 NEWS LOCAL THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN CHRISTIAN ULVERT HAS BEEN WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES FOR DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES

Steve Rothaus

ears before Christian Ulvert became advisor to many of South Florida’s most powerful politicians, Yhe feared coming out as a young gay man would wreck his blossoming career in government.

Ulvert, then 22, was about to begin a Among his current and former political 2004 graduate assistantship in the Florida clients: Gelber, now mayor of Miami Beach; Legislative Democratic Caucus office. Back recently elected Miami-Dade County Mayor then, marriage equality and ending the Daniella Levine Cava; Miami-Dade State military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy were Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle; national and statewide hot-button issues, Palm Beach State Attorney Dave Aronberg; and Ulvert’s boyfriend at the time suggested state Sen. Jason Pizzo of Miami; state Sen. he tell his new caucus boss, Perry Thurston, Jr. of Fort state Rep. Dan Gelber, he’s gay. Lauderdale; state Rep. Allison “I remember going in to tell “IT WAS A Tant of Tallahassee; and Rep. Dan that I needed to share David Richardson (now a something and that I understood GOOD LESSON Miami Beach commissioner), it had an impact, and, if it was FOR ME, AND who in 2012 became Florida’s his decision, I would gladly step first openly gay state lawmaker. into a different role,” Ulvert IT KIND OF Ulvert also handles public recalled. LIBERATED affairs consulting for Magic “I’ll never forget: Dan looked City Casino, United Healthcare at me and said, ‘I can’t believe ME TO START and LIUNA Construction Trade you came in here and judged me. COMING OUT Union, among others. I believe in you and your work. “This business is all about So get back to work and never MORE.” relationship building and allow anybody — never give the - Christian Ulvert being validated,” said Ulvert, authority to someone to control who was Miami born into a your life and decide anything Nicaraguan family, and raised but your value based on your work.’ It was by a single mother and his grandmother. a good lesson for me, and it kind of liberated Ulvert attended MAST Academy high me to start coming out more.” school on Key Biscayne and eventually Today, Ulvert owns Edge Communications, became student body president for Miami- a 12-year-old company self-described on its Dade County Public Schools, an advisor to website as “Florida’s Premier Progressive the county’s school board. After graduation, Political Consultants.” Florida State University admitted him on

Miami-Dade County Mayor Daniella Levine Cava (left) and Christian Ulvert. Courtesy photo. TURN THE PAGE TO CONTINUE READING 

4 • 12.23.2020 12.23.2020 • 5 NEWS LOCAL

 CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE a full scholarship to the school’s Service that eventually led to “a defining moment Scholars program. in my life” — getting to know his future “They accept eight to 10 students a year,” husband, Carlos Andrade. Ulvert said. “It’s very much like a class. It’s a They met in 2010, while Ulvert was full scholarship program. And we basically doing work for Gelber on his laptop at the immerse ourselves in civic engagement and Barnes & Noble Starbucks on Miracle Mile student service in the Greater Tallahassee in Coral Gables. “There was no place to sit area.” and [Carlos] basically said, ‘Would you mind Through the program, Ulvert met Gelber, sharing a table?’” who later encouraged him to enter FSU’s Ulvert, 38, and Venezuelan-born Andrade, master’s program in public administration who turns 41 on Dec. 21, have been together and policy. ever since. After Ulvert received his They got engaged in 2011 in master’s degree in 2006, New York City’s Central Park. Gelber hired him to be his “HE TAKES ON “He said we needed to talk and communications director and CAUSES. HE’S I thought, ‘Uh oh, he’s going to legislative policy advisor. end this,’” Andrade recalled. Ulvert founded Edge NOT AFRAID TO “Instead, he said, ‘Please marry Communications in 2008, the TAKE ON A CAUSE me.’” same year Gelber ran for state EVEN IF IT MIGHT Ulvert and Andrade, who senate. owns Fiori and Leaves, a Edge’s first political client: MEAN HE MAKES company that produces high- Gelber, who won his senate LESS MONEY end floral arrangements with race, and nine years later — OR UPSETS deliveries in Miami-Dade and also with Ulvert’s help — got Broward counties, wed two elected Beach mayor. SOMEBODY.” years later in Washington, Gelber recalls meeting - Rep. Dan Gelber D.C., just after the June 2013 Ulvert: “He was a young man Supreme Court ruling in favor trying to make his way in a of Edith Windsor, who sued the pretty tough world.” IRS to recognize her 2007 Canadian marriage “There are a lot mercenaries in the to the late Thea Spyer. campaign world. He has an immense In the landmark case, Windsor demanded number of principles, in addition to a warrior and won the same unlimited estate tax spirit,” Gelber said. “He has good instincts exemption automatically granted to other and judgment and he’s very hard working. widows in opposite-sex marriages. That’s what makes him so good in his job. The 5-4 Supreme Court ruling prompted Christian Ulvert (left) with husband Carlos Andrade. Courtesy photo. But it’s really his principles that make him Ulvert and Andrade’s fast decision to marry, so important in the community. He takes Ulvert said. he said. “When the Windsor decision same-sex couples and recognizing those on causes. He’s not afraid to take on a cause “I felt like there’s no point of getting came out, we decided that having federal legally married elsewhere. even if it might mean he makes less money or married if we were not going to be recognized recognition was an important step.” On June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court upsets somebody.” federally or in our state. It just felt like we The following March, Ulvert and Andrade ruled 5-4 in favor of James Obergefell, who Ulvert describes Gelber’s early support for could go to another state, sure, but then we joined seven other same-sex couples, SAVE sued the state of Ohio to recognize his him as “a pivotal moment in my life,” one come home and it’s like nothing happened,” LGBT and the ACLU of Florida to sue the Maryland marriage to dying husband John state of Florida to recognize their out-of- Arthur, and declared marriage equality a state marriages. constitutional right throughout the nation. “I was the chair of SAVE,” Ulvert said. Ulvert said his friend Joe Falk, a longtime “I had worked for the state and I could not SAVE board member and currently the LGBT list Carlos as a beneficiary for my state rights group’s treasurer, persuaded him to benefits because the state of Florida didn’t step out of his comfort zone — working recognize gay marriage. We were not legally behind the scenes — to become a plaintiff married in the eyes of the state and I could with Andrade in the federal marriage case. not designate him as a spouse. That gave us “Joe said this is going to be one of those a premise to build a case, working with the moments that you’re going to look back and ACLU, to become plaintiffs.” say you didn’t just help history, you defined U.S District Judge Robert L. Hinkle of what history was being made.” Tallahassee ruled Aug. 21, 2014, in favor of Andrade added: “Seeing Christian, the Ulvert, Andrade and the other plaintiffs. voice behind the scenes to be in front Less than five months later, after federal fighting for equality, I was very proud. To see appeals courts let the Hinkle ruling stand, the love of your life doing good things — not it took effect and Florida began marrying just for us, but for couples like us.”

Journalist Steve Rothaus covered LGBT issues for 22 years at the Miami Herald.

Carlos Andrade (left), Rep. Dan Gelber and Christian Ulvert. Courtesy photo.

6 • 12.23.2020 12.23.2020 • 7 NEWS NATIONAL A COUNTDOWN FROM PETE BUTTIGIEG’S HISTORIC CAMPAIGN FOR PRESIDENT, TO THE SUPREME COURT’S SURPRISE DECISION BARRING DISCRIMINATION AGAINST LGBT PEOPLE IN THE WORKPLACE, HERE ARE 10 MAJOR STORIES FROM THIS YEAR

Lisa Keen 2020Keen News Service

n 2020, the nation faced two existential threats: an out-of-control coronavirus pandemic that killed more than 300,000 people in the U.S. in less than 12 I months, and an erratic, self-obsessed Republican president whose administration withheld support from states with Democratic governors and held campaign rallies where hundreds of people gathered closely together without masks.

The threats blended as President Donald a wide range of people who said Grenell has Trump allowed the pandemic to spread and no qualifications or experience to justify the openly denied the results of the November appointment to such a high position. Others election which he lost by seven million suggested the existing Acting Director of popular votes and 74 National Intelligence was Electoral College votes. being ousted over Trump’s And while both of these PETE BUTTIGIEG dismay over a classified threats dominated the news briefing the DNI office gave throughout 2020, there WAS POLLING to the House Intelligence were some LGBT-specific SECOND IN A Committee. That briefing events that stood out for the reportedly told lawmakers that history books. Here are our NEW YORK TIMES Russia is trying to interfere in candidates for 2020’s Top 10 the 2020 elections, in favor of LGBT news stories: POLL OF LIKELY a Trump re-election. VOTERS IN IOWA Grenell continued to serve as ambassador to Pete Buttigieg walks with Joe Biden, who later won the election. Photo via Pete Buttigieg, Facebook. NUMBER 10: JUST DAYS AHEAD Germany while holding the GAY MAN APPOINTED title Acting Director of National Jones was selected to be part of a council TO CABINET-LEVEL OF THE FIRST- Intelligence. He left the which advises House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on NUMBER 8: POSITION IN-THE-NATION ambassador post shortly after who will serve on various House committees. BUTTIGIEG BECOMES A CONTENDER his stint as DNI ended in late And Speaker Pelosi announced Dec. 18 that President Trump named PRESIDENTIAL May. Grenell then began work Jones, an attorney who worked under then-U.S. At the end of January 2020, Pete Buttigieg a gay man to a cabinet- organizing LGBT support for Attorney General Eric Holder to vet nominees was in an unprecedented position for an openly level position Feb. 20. PRIMARY VOTING. Trump’s re-election. for federal court seats, would be appointed to gay presidential contender: He was polling Richard Grenell, a long- the House Judiciary Committee. second in a New York Times poll of likely voters time Republican gay activist and staunch Ritchie Torres spent seven years representing in Iowa just days ahead of the first-in-the-nation Trump supporter, became the nation’s new NUMBER 9: the Bronx on the New York City Council, where presidential primary voting. Buttigieg’s being Acting Director of National Intelligence. The MORE LGBT PEOPLE WIN IN CONGRESS his work focused on helping to ease housing and gay made him stand out in the first few months appointment, albeit a temporary one, made other problems for people with low incomes. of his campaign last year, earning him a surge Grenell, who had been serving as ambassador Two African American gay men won seats After beating out a large field of contenders for of media attention that his relatively obscure to Germany, the first openly gay person to serve to the U.S. House in November, bringing to the Democratic nomination, he won the general reputation as the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, in a cabinet-level position. 11 the number of LGBT people in the U.S. election in November for the 15th Congressional might not have inspired. But focus on that Trump announced the appointment in a Congress. They are the first African American seat for New York. Torres, who lived in public character trait died down as Buttigieg introduced Twitter post Feb. 19, between posts admiring LGBT members of Congress, and their first weeks housing as a child, told the New York Post his voters to the rest of his resumé and his ability to the long line of people waiting to see him at a preparing for service indicate they are likely to priority would be “to fight for full federal funding thoughtfully respond to issues and debate. campaign rally in Arizona. The appointment did make a significant impact. for public housing.” Speaker Pelosi announced Polling indicated Buttigieg was winning over not require Senate confirmation, and the White Mondaire Jones, elected to New York’s December 17 that Torres would be the only a wide range of supporters. Voters were seeing House indicated the president would appoint a 17th Congressional seat, made history again first-term member to be appointed to the House him as the second most intelligent candidate “permanent nominee” as soon as March 11. But when other first-term Democratic members of Financial Services Committee, which oversees (behind U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren), Grenell stayed on in the post until late May. the U.S. House elected him to represent them “all components of the nation’s housing and appreciating his having served in Afghanistan, The appointment was quickly criticized by at the weekly Democratic leadership meetings. financial services sectors…” and liking his willingness to share his religious

8 • 12.23.2020 NEWS NATIONAL beliefs. Buttigieg came in first place in Iowa, with LGBTQ cabinet member to the Senate for 26.2 percent of the vote, a 10 a point ahead confirmation,” said Buttigieg. “I can remember of second place U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders. watching the news, 17 years old in Indiana, In New Hampshire, he came in second behind seeing a story about an appointee of President Sanders. Clinton named to be an ambassador, attacked His success quickly brought on some hostile and denied a vote in the Senate because he attempts to derail his campaign. Right-wing was gay, ultimately able to serve only by recess talk radio host Rush Limbaugh told listeners he appointment.” thought Democrats were probably worried that He was referring to James Hormel, who one of their frontrunners was a “gay guy” who Clinton appointed to serve as ambassador to “loves to kiss his husband on the debate stage.” Luxembourg in 1987. In Nevada, Buttigieg fell to third place behind Buttigieg’s appointment must now go former Vice President Joe Biden (in second) and before the U.S. Senate for confirmation. The Sanders (in first). When Biden won the South Department of Transportation oversees the safety Carolina primary, Buttigieg came in fourth with and efficiency of the nation’s transportation only eight percent of the vote, and exit polling systems, including the airlines, railways, public indicated he had won less than three percent of transit, highways, maritime shipping, and oil the votes among African Americans, a critical pipelines. His nomination will go before the constituency for a Democratic presidential Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and victory. Two days before Super Tuesday voting, Transportation, currently headed by Republican Buttigieg acknowledged that “the path has Senator Roger Wicker of Mississippi. That could narrowed to a close for our candidacy” and change dramatically if Democrats win both of Photo credit: Ted Eytan, via Flickr. withdrew from the race. He quickly endorsed Georgia’s Senate seats in the Jan. 5 run-off. Biden and was given a high-profile speaking slot on the last night of the Democratic National non-discrimination laws violates their First “Ours is a society of written laws. Judges are Convention. NUMBER 6: Amendment freedom to exercise of their religious not free to overlook plain statutory commands LGBTQ Victory Fund President Annise Parker SUPREME COURT TACKLES beliefs that hostile to LGBT people. Opponents of on the strength of nothing more than suppositions called Buttigieg’s campaign for the Democratic RELIGIOUS RIGHT TO BIAS such arguments say people and businesses have about intentions or guesswork about nomination a “revolution in American politics, a First Amendment right to believe what they expectations. In Title VII, Congress adopted forever transforming what is possible for an In February, the U.S. Supreme Court want but, if they voluntarily operate in the public broad language making it illegal for an employer LGBTQ candidate and making clear America announced it would review a lower court arena, they must abide by laws governing the to rely on an employee’s sex when deciding will elect an openly LGBTQ president.” decision that had that held a Catholic foster care public, including laws prohibiting discrimination to fire that employee. We do not hesitate to agency could not discriminate against same- based on sexual orientation and gender identity. recognize today a necessary consequence of sex couples. It was troubling news for LGBT At year’s end, the Supreme Court had not yet that legislative choice: An employer who fires an NUMBER 7: legal activists. The conflict had been a long- issued its opinion, but the result, said LGBT legal individual merely for being gay or transgender BUTTIGIEG NOMINATED TO standing one with implications beyond church- activists, could have far-reaching consequences defies the law.” BIDEN’S CABINET run organizations and foster for the LGBT community. “This is a huge victory not just for LGBTQ care. It could have impact on people but for our country,” said National Following Joe Biden’s election as the next conflicts involving business THE NATION’S HIGHEST Center for Lesbian Rights Legal Director Shannon president, there was much anticipation about vendors who have religious COURT ANNOUNCED NUMBER 5: Minter. “Today’s decision will be remembered the possibility of an important appointment for objections to serving same-sex SUPREME COURT RULES as a watershed in the history of LGBTQ rights, Pete Buttigieg. On Dec. 16, Biden held a special couples. A 6 TO 3 DECISION BARS WORKPLACE even as our country continues to grapple with news conference to announce his appointment The oral argument was JUNE 15 THAT HOLDS A DISCRIMINATION the brutal legacy of racism.” of Buttigieg as his Secretary of Transportation. held Nov. 4, one day after FEDERAL LAW BARRING The 6 to 3 decision put Gorsuch and Chief It marked the first time an openly LGBT person the presidential election, In what was perhaps the Justice John Roberts Jr. on the side of the court’s has been appointed to a full-fledged seat on a when it was not yet clear DISCRIMINATION ON most stunning U.S. Supreme more progressive four justices. And, statistically presidential Cabinet. At age 38, Buttigieg will, whether Democrat Joe Biden THE BASIS OF “SEX” Court victory in history for speaking, it established Roberts and Gorsuch if confirmed, be the youngest person on Biden’s had unseated incumbent LGBT people, the nation’s as moderates on issues relating to LGBT-specific Cabinet. Republican Donald Trump. IN EMPLOYMENT ALSO highest court announced a cases. “The Biden-Harris cabinet will be an historic And it was only the third day BARS DISCRIMINATION 6 to 3 decision June 15 that cabinet, a cabinet that looks like America, a that the court’s newest member, BASED ON “SEXUAL holds a federal law barring cabinet that taps into the best of America, a Amy Coney Barrett, was discrimination on the basis NUMBER 4: cabinet that is opening doors and breaking taking part in oral arguments. ORIENTATION” AND of “sex” in employment also RUTH BADER GINSBURG DIES down barriers and accessing the full range of The presidential election “GENDER STATUS.” bars discrimination based talent,” said Biden in his announcement. He and Barrett’s lightning speed on “sexual orientation” and The most LGBT supportive justice on the called Buttigieg “one of the smartest people confirmation to take the seat “gender status.” The court’s U.S. Supreme Court died in September: Ruth you’ll ever meet” and a “policy wonk with a big held for 27 years by the court’s most progressive decision came in three cases testing the reach Bader Ginsburg. The 87-year-old legal giant heart.” And he noted that Buttigieg’s husband, member, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, overshadowed of Title VII of the federal Civil Rights Act in one succumbed following a years-long struggle Chasten, “has become a close friend of Jill’s and the significance of the two-hour-long argument 33-page opinion consolidated under Bostock v. against pancreatic cancer. Best known for her mine.” in Fulton v. Philadelphia. Clayton County. In words that will no doubt be historic work on behalf of securing equal rights Buttigieg thanked Biden for the appointment Fulton was the latest in a long line of lawsuits highlighted for many years to come, Justice Neil for women, she was also a steadfast supporter and acknowledged the historic importance of that have attempted to secure an exemption for Gorsuch (a Trump appointee who replaced the of equal rights for other groups, including LGBT his appointment as an openly gay man. some people and businesses to laws prohibiting late conservative Justice Antonin Scalia) wrote: people. “I’m mindful that the eyes of history are on this discrimination based on sexual orientation appointment, knowing that this is the first time and gender identity. Those arguing for the TURN THE PAGE TO CONTINUE READING  an American president has ever sent an openly exemptions claim that requiring they obey the

12.23.2020 • 9 NEWS NATIONAL

 CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE voters, or seven percent of 15,590 voters.) The 28 percent for Trump was twice as many LGBT “While Justice [Anthony] Kennedy authored votes as he got in 2016, when he beat Democrat the most important LGBT rights decisions, Justice NUMBER 3: Hillary Clinton. Ginsburg was the most important voice for LGBT RACIAL RECKONING IN A POWERFUL But voting data from precincts with heavily people on the Court,” said Minter. MOVEMENT LGBT populations suggested LGBT voters set Her voting record was the most consistently new records in their support for Biden and new pro-LGBT record of any justice on the bench. Following a steady stream of incidents around lows for Trump. Heavily LGBT precincts in the In the 15 LGBT-related decisions before the the country in which white police officers killed Castro neighborhood of San Francisco and in U.S. Supreme Court during her 27 years there, unarmed Black men, Black Lives Matter — the popular LGBT vacation town of Provincetown Ginsburg voted in favor of equal rights for started by three Black women, two of whom showed 91 percent or more voters supported the LGBT people 13 times. She provided the pivotal identify as queer — organized peaceful protests Democratic ticket of Biden and Senator Kamala fifth vote in several LGBT victories, including that attracted the support and participation of Harris. Support for Trump ran between only two Hollingsworth v. Perry, which led to California’s millions of people. and eight percent. allowing same-sex couples to marry in 2013, The queer co-founders, Alicia Garza and In the heavily LGBT town of Wilton Manor, and U.S. v. Windsor, which struck down the Patrisse Cullors, along with co-founder Opal Florida, support for Biden ran between 79 federal Defense of Marriage Act that same Tometi, started Black Lives Matter in 2013, with a and 82 percent; Trump support there fell to between 17 and 19 percent. In five heavily Scientists around the world have been rushing for year. She was also the fifth vote on Obergefell v. mission statement that also embraced, “the lives a solution to COVID-19. Photo via PxHere. Hodges in 2015, which struck down state bans of Black queer and trans folks, disabled folks, LGBT neighborhoods in Philadelphia, Biden on marriage for same-sex couples. And in June undocumented folks, folks with records, women, won between 84 and 92 percent of the vote. of this year, she was one of six justices to rule, and all Black lives along the gender spectrum.” This higher percentage of support for Biden was The Trevor Project, a national group that in Bostock v. Clayton, that the language in Title In 2020, it became a major political force, supported by a survey of 800 LGBT voters just works to prevent suicide among LGBT youth, VII of the federal Civil Rights Act that prohibits organizing non-violent demonstrations around after the election. That survey, commissioned by said it has seen a surge in young people seeking discrimination in employment “on the basis of the world to protest police brutality against the national LGBT media group GLAAD, found help during the COVID pandemic. A poll of sex” also covers discrimination based on sexual Black people. Its movement grew dramatically 81 percent of LGBT voters supported Biden and 800 LGBT people in November found that orientation and gender identity. following the highly publicized killing of a 14 percent supported Trump. Regardless of the 54 percent of LGBTQ voters considered the Within days of Ginsburg’s death, President Minneapolis man, George Floyd, by a white margins, the LGBT community is expected to fare COVID-19 response the most important issue in Trump nominated Amy Coney Barrett, a federal police officer who arrested Floyd for allegedly much better under Biden than it has under Trump. deciding how to vote. Thirty-six percent of the appeals judge who LGBT groups had adamantly trying to pass a counterfeit bill. The Black Lives respondents said a close friend or family member opposed for a Seventh Circuit seat, saying her Matter name became a chant and, as several had tested positive for COVID, 29 percent lost “religiously-infused moral beliefs would inform polls indicated, as many as 26 million Americans NUMBER 1: their job or saw a reduction in work, 11 percent her judicial decision-making.” participated in protests inspired by the group’s COVID CHANGED EVERYTHING had to change their living arrangements, and 10 U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell voice. The New York Times reported that “Black percent lost a close friend or family who died rushed through Barrett’s confirmation, and the Lives Matter may be the largest movement in A virulent new coronavirus emerged in from COVID-19. Senate confirmed her nomination by a 52 to 48 U.S. History.” January 2020 and was dubbed COVID-19, A report from Human Rights Campaign almost party-line vote. “…While the group isn’t necessarily directing standing for Coronavirus Disease first identified estimated that more than five million LGBT each protest,” stated a July 3 New York Times in 2019. The virus emerged from China but, by people work in industries “heavily impacted by report, “it provides materials, guidance and March, there were enough cases springing up the COVID-19 epidemic,” such as restaurants, a framework for new activists…. [and those] around the U.S that public health officials called hospitals, schools, and retail. A report from the activists are taking to social media to quickly for immediate shutdowns of schools, businesses, National LGBT Cancer Network indicated that share protest details to a wide audience.” restaurants, and public gatherings of all types. As the LGBT community uses tobacco at rates 50 Quoting a Stanford University professor of the pandemic grew and continued into April and percent higher than the general population, social movements, the article ended: “It looks, May, many LGBT bars and restaurants began making them particularly vulnerable to the for all the world, like these protests are achieving to close permanently. The loss of revenue from respiratory virus. And a study by the Movement what very few do: setting in motion a period of the advertising those businesses would typically Advancement Project found that 45 percent of significant, sustained, and widespread social, buy from local LGBT newspapers —including 47 nonprofit LGBT organizations surveyed had political change. We appear to be experiencing loss of sites where such papers could be easily to reduce their 2020 budgets by an average of a social change tipping point — that is as rare in distributed to the community — soon caused about 17 percent. society as it is potentially consequential.” many LGBT newspapers to suffer, too. Many At the end of the year, there was a growing had to cut back on staff and publish online only. concern about a new strain of the virus (called By June, in most cities, including New York S gene variant) in the United Kingdom that NUMBER 2: City, the LGBT community canceled its annual appeared to be spreading even more easily. A NEW PRESIDENT IS ELECTED pride parades and celebrations, abruptly But several nations, including the UK and the cutting off what for many organizations was one U.S., have begun inoculating citizens with newly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden of their most revenue-producing events of the develop vaccines which experts believe will still won the popular vote for president Nov. 3 and year. CenterLink, a national coalition of LGBT be effective in stopping even this variation of the the Electoral College vote Dec. 14. There was community centers, said in May that over half virus. And starting Jan. 20, with the inauguration conflicting information over how strongly LGBT its members were having to cancel fundraising of a new president, many expect the U.S. voters supported Biden. Exit polls conducted events and that one-third expected they would response to fighting the pandemic will, at last, by the National Election Pool for the New York have to shut down operations within two months, get a serious level of priority and resources from Times and major television networks found that because of COVID. the White House. 61 percent of surveyed voters who identified as LGBT said they voted for Biden, while 28 Lisa Keen is the Chief Correspondent for Keen News Service, a professional news organization percent voted for Trump. (The LGBT data was specializing in national political and legal news that involves or affects gay, lesbian, bisexual, and Protesters stand inside of a shop window while based on approximately 1,100 self-identified transgender people. holding up signs. Photo via PxHere.

10 • 12.23.2020 12.23.2020 • 11 NEWS STATE ‘BAG-A-FAG’ TACTICS MAKE COMEBACK IN TAMPA RECENT STING OPERATIONS IN FLORIDA FOLLOW FAMILIAR SCRIPT

Damon Scott

ne of the controversial stories out of Florida this year had nothing to do with the Opandemic or Donald Trump. It involved a law enforcement sting operation — one that smacked of targeting gay men, experts say.

The sting took place in September in a Tampa-area park. That it was the month before the general election isn’t an accident either. Critics say the style of operation, often coincides with an election season. Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister posted a series of YouTube videos to announce the arrest of 11 men in “Operation Park Cleanup.” He called it a sex sting, many in the LGBT community said it had a feel of the anti-gay policing era. “While it is true that public parks are not the proper place to engage in sexual activity, what is most concerning about these types of investigations is that the police often encourage the very behavior that they claim to be fighting against,” said Russell Cormican, a Broward County attorney well versed in defending gay men against these types of charges. “Undercover decoy officers often act provocatively and flirt with unsuspecting men in an effort to entice them to go further than they normally would. By doing so, the police can sometimes cross the line into entrapment, which would constitute a legal defense to the crimes charged.” In addition to the timing, other circumstances seem to follow a pattern. Undercover deputies try to engage with men at a public park or, in some cases, an adult store. The deputies then accuse the men of agreeing to have sex or engaging in some other ostensibly nefarious activity. Arrests and widespread publicity come quickly, shaking the accused who barely have a chance to digest what’s happening. “These vile acts by these men took place in a park, the same place where our children play,” Chronister, who won re-election Nov. 3 with 55% of the vote, said in one of the YouTube posts. “These men made these parks their personal playground for their deviant behavior. It will not be tolerated.” Chad Chronister, Sheriff. Photo via the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.

12 • 12.23.2020 NEWS STATE

The “vile acts” and “deviant behavior” exposing their sex organs. were low-level misdemeanors on par with a Police claimed they investigated the store trespassing charge. after multiple complaints about public The men weren’t accused of human intercourse and other sex at the business. trafficking, forcing themselves on anyone, One detective working undercover would or being around children. None of the areas testify in court that public sexual activity in targeted in “Operation Park Cleanup” had the theater area of the store offended him. playgrounds. He said patrons solicited and groped him. “Sheriff Chronister says it’s the accused A Broward County judge eventually men that turned the park into a ‘deviant ruled that what the men were doing in a playground,’ but it will be important to private booth in an adult bookstore was evaluate whether his own officers guided their business — it was not done in a public them towards that path through behavior of place. The judge said customers could expect their own,” Cormican added. privacy while in an area of the business Chronister’s office sent the names and where consensual sexual activity occurs in mug shots of all 11 men, ranging in age from the presence of other consenting adults. 37 to 76, to news outlets and blasted them Prosecutors later dismissed charges out on their social media against at least two men who channels. had been accused of exposing The men were ridiculed, their sex organs, but the harassed and threatened damage had been done. online — some were outed “Of course these charges Pleasure Emporium in Hollywood followed similar patterns. Hollywood police arrested six men in February of to family, friends and work are being thrown out,” 2018 and then 13 in July of that year after undercover detectives visited the business. SFGN file photo. associates. Smith said. “These men are Critics say the operations getting arrested and publicly Stings and raids targeting the LGBT there are no minors involved, no coercion, are rarely a response to any “THESE MEN ARE humiliated for doing what community declined in the late 20th century. no force, no victims,” he said. “Police believe public complaints. GETTING ARRESTED Tinder and Grindr users do In the face of public outcry, police stopped they can get away with it and that it’s popular Prosecutors often end daily but without the app — frequently raiding gay bars and cruising [with the public].” up dropping the charges or AND PUBLICLY seek other consenting adults stings became less common. Kosofsky concurs with Smith that for agreeing to end the case in HUMILIATED FOR for sex.” Experts say while the police harassment is straight people, public sex is glamorized exchange for defendants DOING WHAT TINDER After widespread publicity less systematic these days; it has never really and public intimacy is something to be completing a pretrial of the story and mug shots gone away. celebrated. intervention program. AND GRINDR USERS DO splashed on local TV news “When it’s gay people, it’s perverse,” he According a Tampa Bay DAILY BUT WITHOUT and within social media ‘WHEN IT’S GAY, IT’S PERVERSE’ said. “Those attitudes are what [police] are Times report, Hillsborough THE APP — SEEK channels some men either lost hoping will give them cover.” deputies have arrested OTHER CONSENTING their jobs, were outed, were Sean Kosofsky has worked on police He said most of the operations have more than 30 men in such suicidal or were disowned by misconduct and abuse in the LGBT become less common as sodomy laws were undercover operations ADULTS FOR SEX.” their families. community for many years, including with struck down and the gay marriage movement since 2017. Some of the other men Smith at Equality Florida, who he calls a exploded. “I don’t want to stumble - Nadine Smith participated in a diversion mentor. So is homophobia simply an inherent part across anyone having sex EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR program for the misdemeanor He said that whenever a law enforcement of law enforcement culture? in public, whether they OF EQUALITY FLORIDA. offenses. agency decides to do a sting operation there “I don’t know that these individual cops or are spring breakers on the are significant resources at play and it’s chiefs are homophobic, but you can’t decide beach or folks hooking up DOUBLE STANDARD usually coming from the highest levels of the to go after gay men and not be on some level in a park. But I also don’t take my child to department. [as a department],” he said. a playground-less nature trail in a remote These operations beg the question for “If there’s a chief of police or sheriff saying Kosofsky said the names for these area in the middle of the night,” said Nadine many: Are deputies ever on the lookout ‘I didn’t know,’ it’s bullshit,” he said. operations are often described internally as Smith, executive director of Equality Florida. for men and women meeting in public He confirms that the media outreach is “Bag-a-Fag,” and “Peter Patrol.” “Shame on the Sheriff for applying a double and agreeing to have sex? Would an arrest always a part of the equation. Trying to find solutions, Kosofsky standard and using decades old homophobic happen if straight people were having sex in “Ask yourself why they are contacting the has presented specialized trainings law rhetoric to justify his actions.” a bar bathroom or at night on the beach? press. They want to pander to the public that enforcement, but he said the main strategy Smith recently told the Tampa Bay Times they are going after perverts and deviants to that’s worked most over the years is political IT HAPPENED IN HOLLYWOOD, TOO that the Tampa operation was a waste of make a big splash without using any bullets,” pressure for the targeting to stop. taxpayer money, and a way for the sheriff’s Kosofsky said. Kosofsky has been a lobbyist for several About 250 miles from Tampa, a pair of office to criminalize gay sex. He said an easy way for depleted gay rights groups and currently consults sting operations in 2018 at the adult boutique “People rendezvousing in public places is departments to make money is through the nonprofit organizations through his Pleasure Emporium in Hollywood followed so common a theme that everyone knows enforcement of nuisance abatement laws — NonProfit Fixer organization. similar patterns. what Lover’s Lane is, Lookout Point and impound fees, court costs, etc. — because “Our movement started fighting cops at Hollywood police arrested six men in similar places,” Smith said. “If police run “they get to look like they are law and order Stonewall and we’re still fighting cops,” he February of 2018 and then 13 in July of that across a couple of spring breakers having sex without having to deal with violence.” said. “Law enforcement is supposed to be year after undercover detectives visited in the dunes, they’re more likely to tell them In addition, Kosofsky said many officers there to protect and serve and that includes the business. Arrest reports said the men to go home and get a room, not arrest them who are involved in the stings get promotions us. If they want to earn our community’s exposed their genitals or were naked in a and humiliate them by putting their mug or cushier positions on the force. trust, stop arresting us for non-violent public place — some were charged with shots out in the public.” “These [men] are non-violent offenders, crimes.”

12.23.2020 • 13 NEWS LOCAL

OF SNAPSHOTS THE WEEK As 2020 nears its end and the pandemic continues, SFGN is taking this quiet week to reflect on our year together during the COVID-19 crisis.

The beginning of a new world. The community begins to buckle. The local heroes emerge. March 18, 2020 March 25, 2020 April 8, 2020

ONE MORE, FOR YOUR PLEASURE The painful loss of what was once normal. September 3, 2020

Our community slowly adapts. September 10, 2020 Joe Pallant (black shirt) and Athena Dion Everyone is responsible. (candy cane) prepare for Christmas. July 16, 2020 Photo credit: J.R. Davis.

14 • 12.23.2020

Wilton Manors Gazette WMG · BOTULINUM TOXIN A · DERMAL FILLERS · KYBELLA · PDO THREADLIFT · PLATELET RICH PLASMA · SKINCARE · IV VITAMIN INFUSIONS · ANTI-AGING, WEIGHT MANAGEMENT, HANGOVER · SKIN TIGHTENING · BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONE

Video footage of the suspects. Screenshot courtesy of the Broward Sheriff’s Office. THERAPY Man Killed at Flea Market in Oakland “The Shining Way to Park Sunday Ageless Beauty” BSO Needs Help to Identify Assailants

By Christiana Lilly

The Broward Sheriff’s Office is looking Around 12:45 p.m. multiple shots were fired to the public for the identity of three men and the three fled in a black Cadillac Escalade, involved in a shooting death in Oakland Park driving eastbound on Oakland Park Boulevard over the weekend. towards I-95. The video did not capture a The three men were at a flea market license plate number. SFGN December Sunday afternoon when they got When police arrived, an AR- EXPIRES: into an armed altercation with 15-style weapon was found by the Promotion 12/31/2020 a fourth man in the parking lot, BSO DOES NOT victim in the parking lot. No one who was killed. else was injured, although some BOTOX “We are releasing the video BELIEVE THE THREE other cars in the parking lot were $10 per unit (regular $13) to the media in hopes somebody MEN KNEW THE hit by “projectiles,” Hayes said. would be able to identify VICTIM, WHO IS BSO does not believe the three DYSPORT these three persons of interest men knew the victim, who is local $3.75 per unit (regular $5) and we can move on with the LOCAL AND WHOSE and whose name has not been investigation,” BSO Homicide NAME HAS NOT released by request of the family. JEUVEAU OR XEOMIN Det. Jim Hayes said in a press BEEN RELEASED BY Investigators also don’t believe $8 per unit (regular $11) conference in Fort Lauderdale the incident was gang-related. A Thursday morning. REQUEST OF THE few witnesses on the scene spoke DERMAL FILLERS According to surveillance FAMILY. with police. from $550-$900 enjoy $75 off ALL fi llers footage, the three men in their “It may be a robbery that went mid-20s arrived at the flea bad. It’s still a fluid investigation,” HORMONE REBALANCING THERAPY waive initial consultation fee ($150 value) market (3161 W. Oakland Park Blvd.) together Hayes said. “We just need to speak to these Dec. 13. After doing some shopping, they left three individuals. So if the public can help PDO THREADLIFT together and got into an altercation with a us in identifying these three individuals that $300 per thread (regular $350) SAVE $100-$300 man in the parking lot, also in his mid-20s. would be great.” WMG CUSTOMIZED SKINCARE REGIMENS If you have any information on this case, contact Save $75-$150 depending on individual needs Det. Mirelle Palushaj at 954-321-4226. If you would like to remain anonymous, contact Broward Crime Stoppers at 954-493-TIPS (8477) or visit BrowardCrimeStoppers.org. SHININGWAYESTHETICS.COM 4801 N FEDERAL HWY · BUILDING A, SUITE 102 · FORT LAUDERDALE, 33308 • • • www.WMGAZETTE.com • • • 954-319-1053 (VOICE & TEXT)

12.23.2020 • 15

WMG Wilton Manors Gazette Taming The Pain Remember, this too shall pass

By Julie A. Carson, Former Wilton Manors Commissioner

At the last Zoom City Commission meeting in Wilton Manors, I raised my hand to speak during public comment. Simultaneously, I received a call from a friend with whom I had not spoken in months. When the City Clerk recognized me for comment, I was nowhere to be found. Silence. There was no unmute! The call from my friend began something like “I can’t take it anymore. I am going to hurt myself today so they can just take me away. I don’t want to live.” and Turns out she lost her job during the pandemic; could not pay her mortgage; and was unable to make her car payments (so she turned it back to the dealership). After consult, I called the Henderson Mobile Health Unit who dispatched a Crisis Team to her home, only to be turned away by a desperate woman who wanted to drown out her sadness Julie Carson. Photo via Facebook. in shots of tequila. COVID has been here for more than Eventually my friend agreed to call me nine months, and the winter promises no before she did anything to harm herself. letup. Mental Health issues related to the Later that day, when she was more clear- lockdown and pandemic are especially hard. headed, I gave her a gentle lecture, made two The overdose rate, calls for mental health appointments for her with a therapist, and assistance, and domestic violence have told her how special she was to me and to so increased. Unemployment is high and the many others. She is now facing her challenges daily death rate from COVID is alarming. in more measured and healthy ways. How can we help? What can we do? The work of healing is difficult. We deny In her book, “The Choice,” psychologist and what hurts, what we fear. We avoid it at all survivor of Auschwitz, Dr. Edith Eger gives me costs. Then we find a way to welcome and insight into pain, freedom, and release. These embrace what we are most afraid. Only then excerpts and my comments following allowed can we finally release those fears. me to guide my friend to safety: HELP IS AVAILABLE. · “There is no hierarchy of suffering. There is nothing that makes my pain The National Alliance on Mental Illness Call Johnny 518.253.0780 better or worse than yours...” (NAMI) has a 24-hour hotline at 800-950- 6264. The National Suicide Prevention · All our pains and fears are real. Hotline is at 800-273-8255. The SETH Line Accept the feelings of a friend in crisis is a “warm line” designed to afford callers without judgment. the opportunity to speak with sympathetic others about issues and concerns of everyday · “...That survival is a matter of living (associated with 9Muses Art Center and interdependence, survival is not Mental Health America of Southeast Florida). possible alone.” If you are feeling isolated, lonely or need to talk call 954-578-5640. Hours are 10 a.m. to · As a community family, we are 10 p.m. Monday-Friday and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. keepers of our sisters and brothers. Saturday. The prevention of suicide, by providing · “We can’t choose to vanish the dark, education hope and resources, and stopping but we can choose to kindle the light.” mental health stigma are the collective responsibilites of our community and society. · Even in our darkest of times, we can Please raise your hand to help. Unmute your purposely choose to create light, to microphone, and keep yourself, friends and brighten the moment. family safe. WMG • • • www.WMGAZETTE.com • • •

16 • 12.23.2020

WMG Wilton Manors Gazette Deck The Drive Announces 2020 Winners By Denise Royal Photos via Wilton Drive, Facebook.

The holidays are here. It’s a time of giving, but it’s also a time for competing — for the best festive lights and decorations. The Deck the Drive Competition helped put residents and visitors alike in the holiday spirit. Storefronts along Wilton Drive competed for top honors by putting on their best display of lights, tinsel, and festive flair. Top honors went to The Pub. The staff transformed the front, top, and inside of the pub into a winter wonderland. Its prize for first place is $2,500. “We are all elated, we all pulled together 1st Place: and helped get this done,” The Pub’s Mark The Pub Rivera said. “Manager Cliff Roberts and Jim Prize: $2500 ASK US ABOUT: Walker did a lot of the logistics and getting most of it done together with the staff. We Repeat Guest Discounts also pulled together to really promote it all over social media and getting our guests to be Military & Veteran Discounts a part of the fun. This year we all really needed Spa Specials & Memberships this sparkle of Christmas joy and to make Florida Resident Discounts things a little more cheerful on the drive.” Second place went to Claudia Castillo Student Discounts Artist Studio. “We are very grateful and excited to Call us at 1-800-818-1211 or win this prize,” Castillo said. “My hope was visit grandresort.net for to inspire and engage the businesses to participate in this exciting event.” more information. She won $1,000 for transforming the exterior of her studio into a colorful Christmas scene. “My idea was to provide an art installation 2nd Place: with ornaments that would be seen during the Claudia Castillo ART Studio day and at night and be festive for the holidays Prize: $1000 to end this year on a happy note,” she said. “The ornaments on the concrete sidewalk express holiday wishes in different languages, conveying that we are a diverse and inclusive community that is connected regardless of where we are from.” Third place and a $1,000 prize went to Apt 9F. This location went all in with a rooftop snowman, reindeer, Christmas tree, along with snowflakes, candy canes, and red bows out front. The Wilton Manors Improvement District spearheads Deck the Dive. Matt Colunga, owner of Johnson’s, donated the prize money. “Everyone on the drive did an awesome job and really got into it,” Rivera said. “We also are grateful to have Matt Colunga put this 3rd Place: all together. Hopefully next year we have this Apt 9F Prize: $1000 again and more businesses participate.” WMG To learn more about Deck the Drive visit wiltondrive.org/deck-the-drive. • • • www.WMGAZETTE.com • • •

12.23.2020 • 17 CONVICTIONS My Best Gay Self NAVIGATING EXPECTATION AND

ATTACHMENTMark Turnipseed. Mark Turnipseed Courtesy photo.

ave you ever had an important appointment that you prepared for, got up early to make, or Harranged your schedule to prioritize for only to have it changed by the other party at the last minute? If you answered yes, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Life’s filled with these agonizing types of daggers to our attachments and expectations and if we don’t learn how to internalize them, they can drive our emotions and behaviors into a very bad downward spiral. Personally, these items drove me into heroin addiction and suicidal ideation, and I know I’m not the only gay person who has been there. Unfortunately, addiction and suicide ideation are all too common in the LGBT THERE’S VERY community. Therefore, I’ve made it my LITTLE THAT’S life’s mission to share my best gay self to help lift horrible statistics like this off our MORE PAINFUL community’s back. I hope it helps break disappointment or rejection. Even Here’s the truth: No one can take what’s inside you stigma associated with our lifestyle and AND CHALLENGING though this may have happened in our baby, no one! to dissipate the fear of coming out that so THAN REJECTION past, as it has for many a gay folk after I, like many others, get confused because I think that many, including myself, clutched through coming out, it doesn’t have to be in our having affirmations from the world around me validates the arduous journey of adolescence. AND FAILURE WHEN future. the pride and self-worth that’s inside me. When this Coming out, for instance, doesn’t need Some of you may know that I just happens, I’m subject to grave disappointment should to be feared. Our expectations don’t have TRYING TO BE OUR spent three years writing a memoir of the external not perform as planned (attachment to to be true, unless that is, we don’t know BEST SELF AND addiction and coming out. Yesterday, expectation). The truth is, no matter what names I how to navigate our expectations and the day before sending it to the press my use and who I dedicate my book to on the outside the attachments. But we must tune up our own EXPECTING GOLD. ex-wives said that I couldn’t dedicate ultimate truth remains and that is that my two gorgeous lives in order to show younger generations my memoir to my two sons and that I sons are very much so the soul-bound heirs of this title. that they don’t have to fear coming out or couldn’t even include my son’s names. I expected something different and got rejected. But being a part of our community. The best My heart was blown to smithereens when I woke up I can be just as satisfied either way because my truth way to show this is modeling. to that message. Rejection, shame, disappointment, and my pride and myself worth speaks louder than the There’s nothing more surefire than going into a anger. All of it arose. The good news, however, is that world around me sometimes reflects and if you have the situation, expecting disappointment or failure. The I realized all of it arose because I wasn’t managing my guts to come out and embrace your best gay then I have good news, however, is that the converse also true. You expectations and attachments correctly. confidence that you can do this too every day. can seriously lift your odds at success when you enter a situation with confidence. Inner life determines the outcome in many cases, but not all the time. My Best Gay Self is a column by author, speaker, fitness coach and LGBTQ addiction and There’s very little that’s more painful and wellness advocate, Mark Turnipseed. He is also the Owner and CEO of Integrity Endurance, challenging than rejection and failure when trying a network of personal trainers with the goal of fighting the opioid crisis through fitness. Visit to be our best self and expecting gold. Sometimes www.markaturnipseed.com to learn more/contact or to find his book “My Suicide Race: we do everything right and still experience grave Surviving the trauma of addiction, recovery and coming out.”

18 • 12.23.2020 ORIGIN RS AL O C N A Editorial Cartoon A CONVICTIONS N M D N Y

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12.23.2020 • 19 LIFESTYLE TWO GUYS AND A DOG THE TRUTH ABOUT LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS

Brian McNaught

f we imagine that all long-term relationships are easy, romantic pairings of soulmates who find no difficulty in Iforgiving daily, who live completely for the happiness of the other, and who can’t entertain the friendship ever ending, we would be wrong. Believing that both people’s hunger for intimacy, for touch, for sexual satisfaction are guaranteed to be met, would be a mistake. And, yet, many long-term relationships between two humans endure. Ray and I love each other deeply, more deeply than we thought humanly possible, certainly more profoundly than we could have imagined in the beginning of our pairing nearly 44 years ago, but we have to work hard every day, sometimes very, very hard, to keep our relationship healthy and happy. We both focus independently on letting go of annoyances, of grievances, of WE TRY TO resentments, of feeling taken for granted. Photo edited by Brendon Lies. We can feel trapped, bored, stifled, APOLOGIZE held back, unappreciated, unattractive, QUICKLY, TO unattracted, embarrassed, disgusted, annoyed, impatient, alienated, hateful, SAY THINGS IN option. Or, you wait for them to return to a movie Many people over the years have told us that we’re their resentful, misunderstood, mistreated, KIND, LOVING they stopped in order to go check on something, role model for a loving gay couple in a long-term relationship, frustrated, and lonely. that turns into something else, and then even when it had only been six months, which in 1976 felt But, we decide, over and over again, day WAYS, TO something else. like a long time. I have always wanted these people to know after day, that it’s all worth it. The third LISTEN, TO But, for us, anyway, waking up, and going to that Ray and I are far from perfect human beings, that we party of our relationship — “us” — is sleep with the comfort of having each other is can be selfish, petty, angry, resentful, moody, weak, difficult, more magnificent, more divine than either GROW, AND worth the minor aggravations of living with one overbearing, inconsiderate, etc. But, we diligently work to be of us on our own. TO BE A SAFE another. the best partner/lover/friend that we can be. We care deeply Married people can lust for other When you are in a long-term relationship about the well-being of the other. We go out of our way people, imagine themselves single, and HAVEN FOR with another human being, it’s possible, but not each day, all day, to be thoughtful, forgiving, considerate, wish for freedom from their role as a necessarily so, that you are best friends, each attentive, appreciative, accommodating, supportive, upbeat, dutiful, devoted spouse. We can get tired THE OTHER. other’s soulmate, one another’s confidante. Ray helpful, and even-tempered. We try to apologize quickly, to to death of carrying the burden of our daily and I are that to each other. The downside of such say things in kind, loving ways, to listen, to grow, and to be a responsibilities of shopping, cooking, cleaning, managing love is that when one of you dies first, the other safe haven for the other. the finances, maintaining the workings of the house and can feel incomplete, totally lost, and rudderless. Why? car, walking the dog, watering the plants, decorating for the The anticipated extraordinary pain of such a separation Because we believe that we truly struck gold when we holidays, and staying on top of the birthdays and anniversaries makes it too difficult for some people to make the met, became friends, and committed ourselves to each of family and friends. Nevertheless, we carry on, because our commitment. They’d rather stay single, self-sufficient, other. We know that we have grown extraordinarily in the relationship thrives in an environment of mutual respect and and happy in their own company. And, some of us become loving presence of the other. By choosing to prioritize our sacrifice. too set in our ways to accommodate the idiosyncrasies of relationship over all other opportunities, we have created a If you choose to continue to share a bed, and a bathroom, another human being. powerful, magnetic field of energy that guides and supports couples in long-term relationships don’t always get the covers Ray and I choose to stay together, even during the us on our path. and pillows they want, or sufficient “alone time” in front of the darkest cloud times, and we have endured our share of Yes, it will be agonizing to survive the other, and we will sink. Tooth brushes and razors can get mixed up, things don’t severe thunderstorms, because we trust, and know from be ill suited to carry on the tasks a single person has long ago get put back orderly into medicine cabinets, Kleenex boxes experience, that sunnier days are ahead. It’s not sex, money, been forced to master. But, our memories of totally amazing can be left with just one tissue, and toilet paper can run out the dog, or shared family and friends that keep us together, experiences that we shared will comfort us until our own without a back-up roll within reach. However, we find those although those things pop into our heads when we feel we’ve body gives out. If you had told us at age 25 and 28 the kinds to be a small price for the experience of ongoing, mutual love, reached the end of our rope. It’s rather the awareness of the of challenges we would be facing, we might not have allowed filled with laughter, happy tears, and the feeling of belonging. other’s goodness, fidelity, and deep, abiding love that makes ourselves to get close. But, that’s because the love was just Car seats and mirrors can be constantly in need of us start talking again. And, talk we do, about everything infatuation then, not the child of the Universe it grew to readjustment when two drivers use the same car. Coffee we’re feeling. become. makers can need cleaning, and filling even when you’re not the one who drinks coffee. You can be handed the phone to talk to someone you would have avoided had you lived alone. Brian McNaught has been a leading educator on LGBTQ issues globally since 1974. He has made his Sometimes you can sit quietly in frustration as the other many books and DVDs available for free at Brian-McNaught.com. The New York Times named him “The with the remote control reviews every movie and TV series Godfather of gay diversity training.”

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For so many, 2020 has been a year you would rather forget. No, it is a year to remember. Our lives teach us all is not harmony. Life is General & Cosmetic Dentistry about finding melody in the chaos. You learn that pain is something you do not get over, but you get through. State of the Art Facilities • Most Insurance Plans Accepted In life, there is loss. In loss, there is learning. But there is no dark night not followed by a Always Plenty of Free Parking • Located Conveniently on Wilton Drive bright sun. To enhance the lives of children who have not been able to go to The spirit of the holidays shines greater than department stores and see Santa, Michael Walters, the talented entertainer South Florida has come to know from the Wick Theater any pandemic. It is a reminder of how special 954-565-7666 and as Dame Edna, performed virtual commissions as Santa our friends and family are; how a season of through Zoom this past month. One of the more positive things to Dr. David K. Warner, DDS, FAGD cheer can give rise to a spring of hope. come out of the Hurricane Corona.... To contact Michael (pictured), Our nation’s state of health will get better visit LiveSantaCalls.com. 1946 Wilton Drive • Wilton Manors • FL 33305 with the distribution of vaccines we should all take. No one likes a shot, but as global remedies the holidays and New Year with your loved ones. go, this is one of the best. Remain responsible, be socially distant, avoid www.IslandCitySmiles.com The worst part of the international health large crowds in small places, and remember, the emergency is that the Trump Administration fat lady has not sung yet. Wear your freaking consciously and deliberately played down the mask. dangers we faced. We could have risen up as a Be not reckless. For all our strengths, we have nation together. He tore us down and divided limitations and boundaries. Like pandemics, us instead. Our country has paid the price with they can be overcome and conquered if we are more deaths on our own shores than anywhere cautious and conscientious. else in the world. Life will become richer and our community On November 3, the President paid a political stronger if we responsibly reckon with Reason price for his hostility and harm. He was not and Science. re-elected. He lost in a landslide, not only by 7 We have built amazing skyscrapers and placed million votes, but 75 electoral ones. men on the moon. We have built steel machines It’s not the subject of this editorial, but that fly across oceans and majestic ships that Trump’s legal challenges and personal tirades can sail upon them. Still, we are learning, in this - COMPLETE BURIAL PACKAGES since his loss are the cries of a sore loser who 21st century, are we not, that Nature has a few DIRECT was never capable of handling the tasks of the forces we must continue to respect. CREMATION - CEMETERY PACKAGES office. The pandemic that separates the world - SHIP OUT OF STATE & COUNTRY It’s amazing our country has survived Donald today will bring us all closer tomorrow. We Trump’s administrative ineptitude, personal will appreciate even more the universality and - PERSONALIZATION OF ANY SERVICE PROVIDED immaturity, and professional irresponsibility. shared partnership of mankind. $555.00 But we are not there yet, are we? The reign of We are all immigrants in a culture of Captain Chaos won’t come to an end until the biodiversity and expansion, not constriction afternoon of January 20, 2021. and exclusion. World peace may be closer than WE HAVE MOVED TO BETTER Expect some congressional turbulence on we ever thought. An intercontinental calamity SERVE OUR COMMUNITY January 6 and 7, but our country will weather can remind us of how much we all have in it. You will be witnessing the constitutional common. 504 NE 13th Street process play itself out. For those that have lost, and so many of us As we celebrate a new life and political birth, have, may yesterday’s memories illuminate your Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 remember that the virus will not magically go tomorrows. away because the calendar turns to a new year This year, in the face of an apocalypse of FOR MORE INFORMATION: on January 1. adversity, hopefully we have learned this is a Aaronscremation.com You have seen too often how athletes who time not to complain about what is not there, Email: [email protected] hold up a football before they cross the goal line but rather to appreciate what we have right find themselves tackled before they get there. around us. Cell: 833-227-6671 | Fax: 833-227-6670 Don’t make that same mistake as you celebrate Happy Holidays from SFGN.

12.23.2020 • 21 A&E TELEVISION Enter the mask design contest! HOLIDAYS DON’T HAVE TO BE A DRAG…OR DO THEY?

J.W. Arnold

he COVID-19 pandemic may have put a damper on the usual cheer, but Tcontrary to what gay icon Dolly Parton described as “a hard candy Christmas,” there’s a brilliant drag show streaming on demand to put the “ho” back into your 2020 holiday festivities. Here are a few holiday specials to put a little drag magic in your celebration:

“A DRAG QUEEN CHRISTMAS 2020” Ten fan favorites from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” are ready to stuff your stocking this Shea Coulee is the Grinch in “A Drag Queen weekend in “A Drag Queen Christmas 2020” Christmas 2020,” one of several holiday-themed from promoters Murray & Peter Presents. drag performances available on demand. Credit: The two-hour production, filmed using five Murray & Peter Presents. cameras, features emcees Trinity The Tuck and Nina West, along with Lady Bunny, “RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE” WEAR A Landon Cider, Shea Coulee, Jackie Cox, Jaida Beginning on Christmas Day at 9 a.m., Essence Hall, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Thorgy Logo will offer a marathon of “RuPaul’s Drag Thor and Sasha Velour. There’s plenty of Race,” seasons 1 — 12. That’s right, every sugar and spice, including Shea Coulee’s episode, every “Lip Sync for your Life” and signature Christmas nesting doll and Landon every steamy pit crew appearance! Then, on Cider’s creepy Krampus in heels. FUCKING New Year’s Day at 1 p.m. before the premiere of Season 13, last season’s winner Jaida Essence Watch “A Drag Queen Christmas 2020” on demand through Jan. Hall and Miss Congeniality Heidi N Closet will 31 for $25 at DragFans.com or save $5 at Goldstar.com. host VH1’s “Very Ru Year” movie marathon with screenings of “Clueless,” “How to Lose a “HOLIDAY SAUCE… Guy in 10 Days” and “Mamma Mia.” MASK PANDEMIC!” If you haven’t already gotten your fill of drag Christmas becomes calamity in Taylor by then, at 8 p.m., “Drag Race” Season 13 will be Mac’s “Holiday Sauce…Pandemic!,” a blend simulcast on the CW network along with MTV, of music, film, burlesque and random acts MTV2, PopTV and Logo. Thirteen competitors Show SFGN your best (and safest) side, see of fabulousness in the most subversive and include Denali (Chicago, IL), Elliott with 2 Ts cathartic event of the season, streaming (Las Vegas, NV), Gottmik (Los Angeles, CA), yourself in print, and maybe even win a prize through Jan. 2. Ibsen Award winner and Joey Jay (Phoenix, AZ), Kahmora Hall (Chicago, MacArthur Fellow Mac (who uses “judy” IL), Kandy Muse (New York, NY), LaLa Ri ... do you have what it takes to win? as a gender pronoun) invites long-time (Atlanta, GA), Olivia Lux (New York, NY), Rosé collaborators and surprise special guests to (New York, NY), Symone (Los Angeles, CA), create a virtual vaudeville to celebrate the Tamisha Iman (Atlanta, GA), Tina Burner (New First place : $250 holidays in all of their dysfunction. There is York, NY) and Utica Queen (Minneapolis, MN). more to the holidays than rampant capitalism Setting the tone for new year to come, the Second Place : $150 and gift giving as Mac reminds viewers of queens will enter the Werk Room to discover the collective power of our chosen families, an explosive surprise: they must immediately Third Place : $100 a message that rings true in this bittersweet go head-to-head on the mainstage to defend holiday season. their place in the competition with six lip syncs for their lives. 2021 is already starting to look Watch “Holiday Sauce…Pandemic!” on demand through Jan. 2 better than 2020. at TaylorMacHolidaySauce.com. Tickets are pay-what-you-can with suggested minimum of $10. Check local listings for channels and show times. Submit your portrait to [email protected] by January 31

22 • 12.23.2020 Life can get complicated. Make it easier on yourself. FOR INFORMATION ON VIEWING OPTIONS (BOTH This is what is required of you: SOCIALLY DISTANCED IN-PERSON AND VIRTUAL) OF Act justly CHRISTMAS EVE/DAY AND OTHER HOLIDAY SERVICES, Love mercy PLEASE CHECK THE WEBSITE AND/OR FACEBOOK PAGE And walk humbly before your Creator (Micah 6:8) OF YOUR CHURCH. THANK YOU AND HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Shabbat service Friday at 8pm on our Facebook Page

Congregation Etz Chaim 2038 N. Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305, on the Pride Center campus www.EtzChaimFlorida.org / RSVP HERE: [email protected]

Church of Our Savior, MCC Join us for masked, socially distanced in person worship. 11 AM Sundays. Services also LIVE-streamed on Facebook 2011 s. Federal Hwy., and posted on website for safe at home viewing. Boynton Beach, FL 561-733-4000 “Love without judgement” www,churchofoursaviormcc.org Holy Angels

Until further notice: Due to the National Catholic Church now offering 1436 NE 26th Street current COVID-19 pandemic, our SPIRITUALITY Wilton Manors. 33305 worship services are streamed on Facebook.com/HolyAngelsFL Facebook Live every Sunday at www.HolyAngelsFL.org 10 AM, rather thannow held at our offering SAME DAY PrEP churchnow property. offering now offering 954-633-2987 https://www.facebook.com/ SOUTHFLORIDAGAYNEWS.COM ChurchofOurSaviorMCCSAME. Visit DAYour A home for yourPrEP spirit. SAMEweb siteSAME for more details & updates.DAY DAY Mass Schedule: PrEP SabadoPrEP 6:00 PM misa en español • At Midway Specialty Care Center we are Sunday Mass at 11 AM in English • All are welcome! At Midway Specialty Care Center we are At Midway Specialty Care Center we are able to start almost everyone on same day Atable Midway to start Specialty almost everyoneCare Center on same we are day ablePrEP,now to those nowstart offering withalmost offeringand everyone withoutnow offering insurance.on same day PrEP, those with and without insurance. ableSAMESAME toPrEP, start thoseDAY almost with SAMEDAYPrEP everyone and without onDAYPrEP insurance.same PrEP day PrEP, those with and without insurance. At MidwayAt Midway Specialty CareSpecialty CenterAt Midway we Care are Specialty Center Care we Center are we are ableable to start to almost start everyone almost ableon same everyoneto start day almost on everyone same on daysame day LISTINGS PrEP,PrEP, those with those and without with insurance.andPrEP, thosewithout with and insurance. without insurance.

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please please see see www.cdc.gov/coronavirus www.cdc.gov/coronavirus please see www.cdc.gov/coronavirus please please see see www.cdc.gov/coronavirus www.cdc.gov/coronavirus