from the school psychologist from the school psychologist

arly Monday morning, Principal Duggan receives a phone call from Relational an upset mother whose daughter Amy is refusing to go to school. E It seems that a number of girls in Amy’s class started a rumor on Facebook that she had ratted on a classmate who had been stealing from other students’ lockers at school. Her classmates responded by Among shutting Amy out of weekend plans and promising paybacks at school. According to Amy, this is the latest in a string of incidents where students Students have targeted her with rumors and efforts to keep her out social activities. Her mother is concerned because Amy’s grades dropped last quarter Some types of and Amy wants to drop out of the school chorus. Principal Duggan is concerned about Amy, too, but he is also worried because this is the are harder to spot than fourth such phone call he has received from different parents this quarter. physical aggression, but they still damage students’ self-esteem Relational aggression refers to harm important for school leaders to rec- within relationships that is caused ognize the consequences of relational and impede academic by covert bullying or manipulative aggression and its characteristics and success. behavior. Examples include isolating a indicators so that they can establish youth from his or her group of friends effective prevention and interven- By Ellie L. Young, David A. Nelson, (), threatening to stop tion strategies and maintain a positive America B. Hottle, Brittney Warburton, talking to a friend (the silent treat- school climate and student well-being. and Bryan K. Young ment), or spreading and rumors by e-mail. This type of bullying tends Identifying Relational Ellie L. Young is the program coordinator for the to be manipulative or subtle, and it Aggression school psychology program at the David O. McKay may not appear as typically aggressive Relational aggression is difficult to School of Education at Brigham Young University in behavior. In the past, relational aggres- detect. Starting a rumor is less visible Provo, UT. sion was viewed as a normal part of than hitting or pushing and generally David A. Nelson is an associate professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. the process of socialization. Evidence leaves no physical evidence, so stu- suggests, however, that relational dents who get caught can always say, America B. Hottle is a school psychologist with the Northside Independent School District in San aggression may create just as much “I didn’t do anything. It’s not against Antonio, TX. or even more damage than physical the rules to ignore someone!” And Brittney Warburton and Bryan K. Young are aggression among youth (Crick & adults often accept such behaviors graduate students in the school psychology program Grotpeter, 1996) and that it should as “just the way kids are”—especially at Brigham Young University. be considered an important focus of during early teen years—and may per- bullying and aggression prevention ceive relationally malicious and spite- and intervention in schools. Behavioral ful behavior as a stage that students Created in collaboration with policies should include relational ag- will eventually outgrow. the National Association of gression in their definitions of aggres- The behaviors are subtle, and School Psychologists (NASP) sive behaviors to address the power of youth are often skilled at hiding them to facilitate partnerships this type of bullying. from adults, even when they use the between principals and school Although relational aggression can Internet (e.g., ). For ex- psychologists and remove be just as harmful as physical intimi- ample, if a group of students excludes barriers to learning. Additional dation and assaultive behaviors, it is a peer who is not wearing the right resources are available at often overlooked in schools because clothes or shoes, no one will know www.nasponline.org/resources/ overt physical violence is better unless a student reports the behavior. principals. understood, more readily observed, And even if a student reports the and more easily confronted. But it’s behavior, adults have a tendency to

12 z Principal Leadership z october 2010 minimize it and fail to recognize it as tion between them can help adults a type of aggression. understand why students are behav- ing aggressively and how to plan and Developmental Characteristics monitor interventions. Relational aggression is not unique Reactive relational aggression to adolescents—it has been observed is typically exhibited in response in preschoolers (Crick, Casas, & Ku, to provoca­tion, such as using social 1999)—but it requires verbal, cog- manipulation in response to feeling nitive, and . During the threatened or angry. For example, preschool years, relational aggression a student who spreads rumors (in is usually obvious and unsophisticated person or through e-mail or social because of the language and cogni- networking sites) when he or she tive development typical of this age feels wronged is engaging in reactive group, but as skills develop it becomes relational aggression. more complex and includes such Instrumental relational aggres- covert strategies as lying and spreading sion is characterized as manipulating rumors. As students mature, they bet- relationships or using aggression (or ter understand how to target victims threats of aggression) to get what one and how to strategize to achieve their wants. For example, a student may goals. In addition, adolescents tend threaten his or her friends by saying, to believe that adults should not get “I won’t be your friend if you don’t do sion occurs between close friends, the involved in their social relationships or things my way.” consequences tend to be more severe use of the Internet, which can make it and can include social anxiety, social more difficult to intervene. Consequences avoidance, loneliness, psychological Most young people experience some distress, difficulties with self-control, Gender Differences occasional relational victimization, and acting out behaviors (Crick & As children develop, they generally and although it is distressing and Nelson, 2002). gain an understanding that physical painful, it may not be damaging in the aggression is more acceptable for boys long term. Ongoing or severe rela- Perpetrators than girls in our culture. It has been tional aggression, however, deserves a Students who use relational aggres- believed that girls tend to use relation- targeted, measured response because sion tend to have both internalizing al rather than physical aggression and of the negative effects experienced by difficulties (e.g., or social that boys use relatively equal propor- all those involved. anxiety) and externalizing difficul- tions of physical and relational ag- ties (e.g., disruptive behavior or poor gression, but studies to date have not Victims impulse control) and tend to be found consistent patterns of gender Being a victim of relational aggres- consistently rejected by peers. But differences and several have indicated sion may result in peer rejection, the tendency to use relational aggres- that there is little support for calling social anxiety, loneliness, depression, sion depends on the social context, relational aggression “girl aggression.” a lowered sense of self-worth, and age, and reputation of the student. (See Young, Boye, & Nelson, 2006, for acting out behaviors (Crick, Casas, Psychosocial mal­adjustment may be a summary of these issues.) & Nelson, 2002). Physical fights a predicted outcome for both boys at school often follow incidents of and girls who use relational aggression Types relational aggression that have already (Crick et al., 1999). Relational aggression typically takes occurred between the students. Hav- two forms: reactive and instrumental ing a close friend may provide a buffer Identification (Little, Jones, Henrich, & Hawley, for students experiencing relational It is difficult to identify relational 2003). Understanding the distinc- aggression, but if the relational aggres- aggression in the school environment.

october 2010 z Principal Leadership z 13 from the school psychologist from the school psychologist

Effects of Relational Aggression

Relational aggression is a form of bullying, and its Aggressors consequences to victims and aggressors are similar n Experience negative outcomes, such as to other forms of bullying. depression and social isolation Victims n Tend to be rejected by their peers n Suffer negative consequences, such as n Have poorer quality friendships, characterized depression, loneliness, and low self-esteem by high conflict and desires for exclusivity, when n Are more likely to be rejected by their peers compared to nonaggressive children

n Avoid social situations because of anxiety or fear n Experience more negative life satisfaction, of negative experiences negative and unsatisfying relationships, and emotional instability over time n Initiate peer interactions much more infrequently than students who are not victims n Engage in self-destructive behavior, experience maladjustment problems, and possess poor n Have more negative friendship qualities, such as impulse control and management skills higher levels of conflict and exclusivity, particularly when victimized by their close friends

Source: Crothers, L. M., Bell, G. R, Blasik, J. L., Camic, L. A., Greisler, M. J., & Keener, D. (2008). Relational aggression in children and adolescents: An overview of the literature for school psychologists. NASP Communiqué, 36(5).

Students who use relational aggression­ in behavior—such as withdrawal, sad- interviews with students, parents, and are often quite sophisticated and ness, anxiety, or increased aggression— teachers provide some information know how to hide their behavior from to identify when youth are bullying about relationally aggressive behaviors. adults. Perpetrators may use threats others or being victimized by peers. Those pro­cedures focus on individual of retaliation if the target reports the Assessments of relationship aggression students who may have been referred incident to authority figures or may typically include secondhand reports, for a specific behavioral, social, or deny involvement, which is easily such as rating scales that have been emotional concern, however, rather done because the behaviors are often completed by teachers, or sociometric than relational aggression. Further, not observed by others and may be procedures, a peer nomination process teachers and parents who typically interpreted as isolated incidences of that asks students to confid­entially provide reports may have limited, in- rude behavior. nominate, rank, or rate the social direct information about the internal Identifying youth who use rela- standing or acceptability of peers. feelings of the students involved. If so, tional aggression is not a clear-cut Secondhand reports. Behavior adult perceptions may not provide a process; few developed measures rating scales, such as the Behavior complete picture of the situation. are available and those that are have Assessment System for Children (the Sociometric measures. Another been created primarily for research, Pearson Assessment) and the Child option for identifying students who rather than for identification and Behavior Checklist (the Achenbach engage in relational aggression is to inter­vention purposes. Educators and System of Empirically Based Assess- use sociometric measures, which parents generally must rely on changes ment); social skills assessments; and directly consider the views and

14 z Principal Leadership z october 2010 Preventing and Stopping Relational Aggression

Relational aggression is usually treated using Tertiary Level Strategies primary, secondary, and tertiary interventions. Tertiary prevention Primary Level Strategies programs provide treatment for students who are Primary strategies can be used with all students involved in or are at risk to teach positive behaviors. They involve individual for engaging in or being work, pair work, and group work: victimized by relational n Individual work exercises promote the expression aggression. Most programs of inner feelings and enhance students’ self- are designed for girls and confidence, self-respect, and self-acceptance emphasize: n Pair work exercises concentrate on mutual n Creating safe acceptance, mutual cooperation, tact, and the environments to ability to fulfill the wishes of a partner learn about prosocial n Group work exercises teach cooperation, relationship skills and helpfulness, sharing, kindness, and methods of gaining developmental pathways of emotions. social support Secondary Level Strategies n Teaching students about Secondary interventions can be provided individually relational aggression and or within established school-based social the harm it can cause, competence programs. Secondary interventions relating it to incidents in may be adapted to reach groups of students who students’ own lives while need more-directed skills development and support. simultaneously exploring alternative behavioral They often consist of: strategies, and integrating what students have learned into their own friendships n School-based social competence and n antiviolence curricula Providing structured group interventions that offer opportunities to learn constructive approaches to n Activities devoted to developing students’ conflict empathy, perspective-taking, emotion regulation, n anger management skills, social , Addressing objectives pertaining to relational and aggression, assertion, conflict resolution, social skills development, and perspective taking. n Techniques for use at school that also transfer to the home environment n Efforts to reinforce positive family and sibling Source: Crothers, L. M., Bell, G. R., Blasik, J. L., relationships, such as closeness and emotional Camic, L. A., Greisler, M. J., & Keener, D. (2008). support, as well as families’ shared leisure Addressing relational aggression in children and activities adolescents: Interventions and treatment programs. n Hands-on instruction in the general education NASP Communiqué, 36(6). Adapted with permission. classroom.

october 2010 z Principal Leadership z 15 from the school psychologist from the school psychologist

Online Resources Cyberbullying Research Center www.cyberbullying.us ­experiences of youth. Peer ratings, system change to develop positive, This site has research-based information rankings, or nominations of students responsive, caring environments that about cyberbullying; the use and of who are bullies or who are aggressive value learning (e.g., positive behav- technology by teens; and resources for all incorporate evalua­tions from all stu- ior support, see www.pbis.org) have stakeholders. dents in a peer group, thus contribut- more-successful and longer-lasting The Ophelia Project ing direct, multiple observations over results. www.opheliaproject.org time within the peer group. Obtaining Schools where adults are seen as This project is devoted to the awareness parent permission to conduct this type approachable, alert, and helpful in and prevention of nonphysical aggression of assessment may be difficult, how- meeting the needs of students may and offers strategies and tools for ever. (See Young et al., 2006.) be especially effective in developing preventing and responding to relational intervention and prevention programs. aggression. Research-Based Interventions Personalizing the school environ- Mean Girls—Realities of Many bullying prevention programs ment and creating a culture of mutual Relational Aggression and interven­tions are available, but caring, support, and advocacy among www.spsk12.net/departments/ few programs and models have been students seems to be essential to effec- specialed/Relational%20 thoroughly eval­uated by rigorous tive intervention efforts. PL Aggression.htm research over time. Evaluations so far This site contains a thorough overview of show that narrowly focused interven- References relational aggression and resources for tion programs tend to have limited n Crick, N. R., Casas, J. F., & Ku, H. parents. effectiveness. Models that focus on (1999). Relational and physical forms of in preschool. Develop- mental Psychology, 35, 376–385. n Crick, N. R., Casas, J. F., & Nelson, D. A. (2002). Toward a more comprehensive un- derstanding of peer maltreatment: Studies of relational victimization. Current Direc- tions in Psychological Science, 11, 98–101. n Crick, N. R., & Grotpeter, J. K. (1996). Children’s treatment by peers: Victims of relational and overt aggression. Develop- ment and Psychopathology, 8, 367–380. n Crick, N. R., & Nelson, D. A. (2002). Relational and physical victimization within friendships: Nobody told me there’d be friends like these. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 30, 599–607. n Little, T. D., Jones, S. M., Henrich, C. C., & Hawley, P. H. (2003). Disentangling the “whys” from the “whats” of aggressive behavior. International Journal of Behavior Development, 27, 122–133. n Young, E. L., Boye, A., & Nelson, D. (2006). Relational aggression: Understand- ing, identifying, and respond­ing in schools. Psychology in the Schools, 43, 297–312.

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