from the school psychologist from the school psychologist arly Monday morning, Principal Duggan receives a phone call from Relational an upset mother whose daughter Amy is refusing to go to school. e It seems that a number of girls in Amy’s class started a rumor on Aggression Facebook that she had ratted on a classmate who had been stealing from other students’ lockers at school. Her classmates responded by Among shutting Amy out of weekend plans and promising paybacks at school. According to Amy, this is the latest in a string of incidents where students Students have targeted her with rumors and efforts to keep her out social activities. Her mother is concerned because Amy’s grades dropped last quarter Some types of bullying and Amy wants to drop out of the school chorus. Principal Duggan is concerned about Amy, too, but he is also worried because this is the are harder to spot than fourth such phone call he has received from different parents this quarter. physical aggression, but they still damage students’ self-esteem Relational aggression refers to harm important for school leaders to rec- within relationships that is caused ognize the consequences of relational and impede academic by covert bullying or manipulative aggression and its characteristics and success. behavior. Examples include isolating a indicators so that they can establish youth from his or her group of friends effective prevention and interven- By Ellie L. Young, David A. Nelson, (social exclusion), threatening to stop tion strategies and maintain a positive America B. Hottle, Brittney Warburton, talking to a friend (the silent treat- school climate and student well-being. and Bryan K. Young ment), or spreading gossip and rumors by e-mail. This type of bullying tends Identifying Relational Ellie L. Young is the program coordinator for the to be manipulative or subtle, and it Aggression school psychology program at the David O. McKay may not appear as typically aggressive Relational aggression is difficult to School of Education at Brigham Young University in behavior. In the past, relational aggres- detect. Starting a rumor is less visible Provo, UT. sion was viewed as a normal part of than hitting or pushing and generally David A. Nelson is an associate professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. the process of socialization. Evidence leaves no physical evidence, so stu- suggests, however, that relational dents who get caught can always say, America B. Hottle is a school psychologist with the Northside Independent School District in San aggression may create just as much “I didn’t do anything. It’s not against Antonio, TX. or even more damage than physical the rules to ignore someone!” And Brittney Warburton and Bryan K. Young are aggression among youth (Crick & adults often accept such behaviors graduate students in the school psychology program Grotpeter, 1996) and that it should as “just the way kids are”—especially at Brigham Young University. be considered an important focus of during early teen years—and may per- bullying and aggression prevention ceive relationally malicious and spite- and intervention in schools. Behavioral ful behavior as a stage that students Created in collaboration with policies should include relational ag- will eventually outgrow. the National Association of gression in their definitions of aggres- The behaviors are subtle, and School Psychologists (NASP) sive behaviors to address the power of youth are often skilled at hiding them to facilitate partnerships this type of bullying. from adults, even when they use the between principals and school Although relational aggression can Internet (e.g., cyberbullying). For ex- psychologists and remove be just as harmful as physical intimi- ample, if a group of students excludes barriers to learning. Additional dation and assaultive behaviors, it is a peer who is not wearing the right resources are available at often overlooked in schools because clothes or shoes, no one will know www.nasponline.org/resources/ overt physical violence is better unless a student reports the behavior. principals. understood, more readily observed, And even if a student reports the and more easily confronted. But it’s behavior, adults have a tendency to 12 z Principal Leadership z october 2010 minimize it and fail to recognize it as tion between them can help adults a type of aggression. understand why students are behav- ing aggressively and how to plan and Developmental CharaCteristiCs monitor interventions. Relational aggression is not unique Reactive relational aggression to adolescents—it has been observed is typically exhibited in response in preschoolers (Crick, Casas, & Ku, to provoca tion, such as using social 1999)—but it requires verbal, cog- manipulation in response to feeling nitive, and social skills. During the threatened or angry. For example, preschool years, relational aggression a student who spreads rumors (in is usually obvious and unsophisticated person or through e-mail or social because of the language and cogni- networking sites) when he or she tive development typical of this age feels wronged is engaging in reactive group, but as skills develop it becomes relational aggression. more complex and includes such Instrumental relational aggres- covert strategies as lying and spreading sion is characterized as manipulating rumors. As students mature, they bet- relationships or using aggression (or ter understand how to target victims threats of aggression) to get what one and how to strategize to achieve their wants. For example, a student may goals. In addition, adolescents tend threaten his or her friends by saying, to believe that adults should not get “I won’t be your friend if you don’t do sion occurs between close friends, the involved in their social relationships or things my way.” consequences tend to be more severe use of the Internet, which can make it and can include social anxiety, social more difficult to intervene. ConsequenCes avoidance, loneliness, psychological Most young people experience some distress, difficulties with self-control, GenDer DifferenCes occasional relational victimization, and acting out behaviors (Crick & As children develop, they generally and although it is distressing and Nelson, 2002). gain an understanding that physical painful, it may not be damaging in the aggression is more acceptable for boys long term. Ongoing or severe rela- perpetrators than girls in our culture. It has been tional aggression, however, deserves a Students who use relational aggres- believed that girls tend to use relation- targeted, measured response because sion tend to have both internalizing al rather than physical aggression and of the negative effects experienced by difficulties (e.g., depression or social that boys use relatively equal propor- all those involved. anxiety) and externalizing difficul- tions of physical and relational ag- ties (e.g., disruptive behavior or poor gression, but studies to date have not viCtims impulse control) and tend to be found consistent patterns of gender Being a victim of relational aggres- consistently rejected by peers. But differences and several have indicated sion may result in peer rejection, the tendency to use relational aggres- that there is little support for calling social anxiety, loneliness, depression, sion depends on the social context, relational aggression “girl aggression.” a lowered sense of self-worth, and age, and reputation of the student. (See Young, Boye, & Nelson, 2006, for acting out behaviors (Crick, Casas, Psychosocial mal adjustment may be a summary of these issues.) & Nelson, 2002). Physical fights a predicted outcome for both boys at school often follow incidents of and girls who use relational aggression types relational aggression that have already (Crick et al., 1999). Relational aggression typically takes occurred between the students. Hav- two forms: reactive and instrumental ing a close friend may provide a buffer iDentifiCation (Little, Jones, Henrich, & Hawley, for students experiencing relational It is difficult to identify relational 2003). Understanding the distinc- aggression, but if the relational aggres- aggression in the school environment. october 2010 z Principal Leadership z 13 from the school psychologist from the school psychologist Effects of Relational Aggression Relational aggression is a form of bullying, and its Aggressors consequences to victims and aggressors are similar n Experience negative outcomes, such as to other forms of bullying. depression and social isolation Victims n Tend to be rejected by their peers n Suffer negative consequences, such as n Have poorer quality friendships, characterized depression, loneliness, and low self-esteem by high conflict and desires for exclusivity, when n Are more likely to be rejected by their peers compared to nonaggressive children n Avoid social situations because of anxiety or fear n Experience more negative life satisfaction, of negative experiences negative and unsatisfying relationships, and emotional instability over time n Initiate peer interactions much more infrequently than students who are not victims n Engage in self-destructive behavior, experience maladjustment problems, and possess poor n Have more negative friendship qualities, such as impulse control and anger management skills higher levels of conflict and exclusivity, particularly when victimized by their close friends Source: Crothers, L. M., Bell, G. R, Blasik, J. L., Camic, L. A., Greisler, M. J., & Keener, D. (2008). Relational