TTHEH E SSPOKANEP O K A N E SiDDEKEKiCK FREE • JAN 25TH - FEB 7TH, 2006 • VOLUME 2, ISSUE 2 • WWW.SPOKANESiDEKiCK.COM

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SPOKANE’S MOST COMPLETE ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE MON 2-12

SAT 3-3

FRI. 1-26 FRI. 2-2 FRI. 2-16 BIG EASY

Page 2 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK LiVE MUSiC

Shook Twins prove that two is better than one

SiDEKiCK Editors REPRESENT

The Shook Twins - photo by Lisa Wareham EXCLUSIVELY AT As far as the SiDEKiCK is concerned Katelyn asserts has been an awesome place the video on their MySpace page.) there are only two kinds of bands – those to start their career. “We fi rst performed the song two years that blow us away and leave us begging “Th ere are fi ve or six great places for us ago for a Halloween show and the crowd for more, and everyone else who we forget to play in Sandpoint,” says Katelyn. “Plus went absolutely nuts,” recollects Katelyn. about in a way that would make a goldfi sh everyone in town is so supportive of our “It always goes over best when people are jealous. Th e forgettable bands may get an music even thought they hear the same 12 a little drunk. Laurie also likes to drop 232 N. Howard article in the SiDEKiCK, but only those in songs every time we play.” the beat when no one is paying attention Spokane, Wa 99201 the fi rst category are eligible for the presti- Recently the twins put their technical – everyone turns their head because they (509) 456-7479 gious title of SiDEKiCK Pick of the Issue. skills to use to self-record a live album at the think it is a beat machine but when they Th is issue’s recommendation for the show One World Café in Moscow, Idaho. Four see it’s Laurie making the sound they get not to miss goes to Th e Shook Twins, an tracks from this recording confused. It’s a really nice at- eclectic acoustic duo comprised of twin are available online at the tention getter.” The Shook Twins sisters Katelyn and Laurie Shook, a pair of Shook Twin’s Myspace page While Katelyn wouldn’t MS KITTY’S Fri, Feb. 2nd, 9 p.m. extremely talented sisters who will per- (www.myspace.com/shookt- promise to perform the Med- ADULT EMPORIUM Brooklyn Nights Since 1984 form on Friday, February 2nd at Brooklyn wins). Th ese amazing tracks 21+ ley at Brooklyn Nights, she (509) 835-4177 Nights in downtown Spokane. are what caught the SiDE- didn’t say it was out of the When you listen to the Shook Twins, KiCK’s attention. We are question. Th e more people even live, it’s hard to imagine that the still amazed that they were able to capture who are there, and the more DVD & VHS dynamic sound they create is coming from such a dynamic sound with just two people adult beverages consumed, the more likely Sales & Rentals just two people with little but their acous- – we can barely chew gum and walk at the you are to hear the Beat-box Medley. And tic guitars and voices. Th eir music has the same time let alone sing a two part harmony even if they don’t play the song, it’s just one Magazines simple beauty of Alison Krauss, their voices while playing the guitar (plus some occa- part of an impressive collection of music Gag Gifts combine like the Mamas and the Papas sional beat-boxing). that deserves a large audience. Leather (minus the Papas) and Laurie can beat-box “Everything you hear is just Laurie and Brooklyn Nights is located at 122 S. Lingerie like the Fat Boys. (More on beat-boxing a I,” explains Katelyn. “Laurie has a looper Monroe Street in downtown Spokane Lotions little later.) Th ey may be twin sisters but that she is able to record tracks with and located directly behind Far West Billiards. Body Jewelry these two musicians have created an unbe- them loop them back, but all of the drum Th e show is 21+ only, though they’ll also be lievable harmony stemming from a bond sounds are Laurie on the mic beat-boxing.” playing an all ages show at Caterina Winery that transcends their short years. According to Katelyn, her sister learned on Saturday, February 17th at 8 p.m. Th e “Laurie and I have both been singing how to beat-box back in high school when Brooklyn Night show starts at 9 p.m on Fri- SUPERBOWL SALE!!! since we were in 5th grade and spent a Th e Standards, an a cappella group from day, February 2nd. For more information or You choose any one good nine years in choir,” explains Katelyn. Twin Falls, gave a performance in Sand- to hear samples from the Shook Twins, look “But it wasn’t until we were seniors in high point. Laurie was blown away and started online at www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com. † item and we will sell it to school that we started playing the guitar. practicing with the band and had it down you for HALF PRICE! We only had a couple of lessons that didn’t in just one day. She even got to perform Blue Canoe in Brooklyn go so well, so we pretty much taught our- on stage with Th e Standards at the concert. selves how to play.” While Laurie doesn’t beat-box during most Bob Gallagher, owner of 4000 Holes, will be performing with his band Blue While they have been singing for as tracks, when she does break it out she can Canoe at Brooklyn Nights on Saturday, 535-2378 long as they can remember, the sisters of- defi nitely turn some heads. January 27th at 9 p.m. Bob has been fi cially started playing together as a band Th e twins have one song, playfully titled an important part of the Spokane music Credit in 2003 while in college at the University the “Beat-box Medley,” that’s a jumble of scene for years as both a performer and & Debit of Idaho where they were both studying rap and R&B hits mixed into one eclectic a keeper of the tunes. You can fi nd his record store at 1610 N. Monroe St. where digital media production. Now graduated, cappella song. From “Drop it Like It’s Hot” they cary a large selection of records, Spokane Store - 6311 E. Sprague the twins are focusing on their music from to “Turn the Lights Down Low,” the song CD’s and albums by local artists. their hometown of Sandpoint, a town that has a little of everything. (You can watch Bozeman Store - 12 N. Willson

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 3 Hello loyal SiDEKiCK readers and welcome to our listener profi le classifi cation system – a fun, subjective and somewhat ridiculous breakdown of musical styles. Along with every article on upcoming concerts, you’ll notice a graphic of one of our listener profi les below. We’ve identifi ed seven different musical stereotypes in order to give readers a better idea of shows that might interest them in a quick, easy and entertaining way. Whatever graphic is found in the yellow circle accompanying an article is the type of listener who, we feel, might enjoy that particular performance.

Keep in mind that this isn’t an all-inclusive solution but, rather, a fun and games approach to categorize the many live shows that come through the Spokane area on a weekly basis. Also note that the gender designations are completely arbitrary – come to think of it, so is this whole method of profi ling – so use it only as a loose guide. We suspect that many of our readers will fall into more than one category, and that’s OK. We’re not pigeonholing you into a particular musical taste, we’re merely providing a guide to point you in the direction of whatever show you might feel like going to on a given night.

Party Girl Tattoo Guy The Hipster Rock Chick Feels most comfortable Emo Dude Borderline alcoholic, rock The Cowboy Frequents large clubs Can be seen anywhere, The Greek in torn jeans and a cut-off Thinks he likes punk chick might cut loose Likes his riffs tight and and anyplace with a DJ at any time, especially Packs large concert halls t-shirt, both of which were music, but really just and dance, or she might his jeans even tighter. or good swing band – so coffee shops, wine bars for top 40 bands, sugar probably ripped in a bar listens to Green Day a lot. be “that one chick” Can be spotted at classic long as there’s dancing in- and dives (the latter pop, mainstream rap, fi ght or moshpit. Body Enjoys coffee shop rock you see at every show rock shows and country volved. Can sing along to of which they frequent or anything you’re likely piercings, tattoos and/or and anything you’re likely resting her head on the line dance bars. Has a Eminem, The Black-Eyed in an attempt to be to see on MTV. Usually mohawks are standard. to hear at Warped Tour. As bar because she’s about deep and abiding respect Peas and probably a butt ironic.) Is as likely to dressed in bright colors Listens to anything loud, long as power chords are eight cocktails deep. for Lynyrd Skynyrd and rock ballad or two. Usually see Elvis Costello as an and accessorized more especially early Metal- involved in a big way, Emo Worships The Who and Toby Keith. dressed to kill and often East Coast hip hop band than a Swiss Army Knife. lica, before they started Dude will listen to it. Flaming Lips equally. drunk by 9:30. you’ve never heard of. to suck.

THE SPOKANE TABLE OF CONTENTS

Music SiDEKiCK Food Pick of the Issue: The Spokane SiDEKiCK, the area’s most complete arts The Shook Twins ...... pg. 3 Main Dish: Frank’s ...... pg. 18 and entertainment guide, is published every two weeks on Thursday and distributed free to hundreds of local businesses Spotlight: Matt Tansy ...... pg. 5 Back Burner: Molly’s ...... pg. 18 throughout Spokane and the Spokane Valley. It’s swell, really. Suicide Soup night ...... pg. 6 Comedy However, given the unpredictable nature of live events, all information pro- Blue Man Group ...... pg. 19 vided in this publication is subject to change without notice. The Spokane Smile Line Spark ...... pg. 7 SiDEKiCK is not responsible for any errors or omissions, though we might feel Everclear ...... pg. 8 Dan Cummins ...... pg. 21 kind of sheepish in the event of a glaring mistake. Aqualung ...... pg. 9 Ed McMahon ...... pg. 21 Alphabet Soup ...... pg. 9 Theatre SiDEKiCK STAFF C ...... pg. 10 Agnes of God ...... pg. 20 Publisher: Pacifi c Northwest Media Productions, LLC Music Briefs ...... pg. 10 Barefoot in the Park, Assasins ... pg. 20 [email protected] RAWK Final Four ...... pg. 11 Driving Miss Daisy ...... pg. 20 Production Manager: A.W. Rowse [email protected] Calendar ...... pgs. 12-13 Choose to Lose ...... pg. 20 Film Managing Editor: Brian Clark Features [email protected] Karaoke listings ...... pg. 14 Reel Review: Alpha Dog ...... pg. 22 Ad Sales: A.W. Rowse Straight outta my asstrology . pg. 14 Bottom Shelf: Constantine ...... pg. 22 [email protected] Crossword Puzzle ...... pg. 14 SFCC International fi lm festival .pg. 19

Writers: Katie Shampeny, A.W. Rowse, Amanda Chandler, Brian Letters From the Radical Middle .... pg. 15 Features

Clark, M.W. Fritz, Jeff Downz, Robert Thornley Hill, Nick Lambert Echoes from the Other Washington .. pg. 15 Drink of the Issue ...... pg. 23 Life in the ‘Kan ...... pg. 15 Crossword Solutions ...... pg. 23 To submit an event to the SiDEKiCK either go online to www. Sports We Salute: The Devoted ...... pg. 23 SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com and complete our online form, or send an Around the world in 80 plays .... pg. 16 email to [email protected]. Be sure to tell us Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How much. The SiDEKiCK lists all Spokane Chiefs ...... pg. 16 events (when we have room) free of charge. Super Bowl parties ...... pg. 16

[email protected] – 509-216-5771 P.O. Box 141630, Spokane Valley, Wa 99214

About We thought we’d provide an intellectual service (for once) and familiarize you a little with some of the lesser-known world religions in case you’re looking to our expand your spiritual realm into the quirky or just plain bizarre. Th e boxes on the bottom of several pages highlight a few religions we found interesting or, at the theme: very least, entertaining. As always, there’s a salute to the forgotten heroes involved with our theme on page 23, as well. Enjoy.

Page 4 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK LiVE MUSiC ooklyn Nigh LOCAL ARTIST Br ts SPOTLIGHT Seven Years Absence NEW BEER SPECIALS! LIVE MUSIC BY MATT TANSY LIVE MUSIC TUESDAY Acoustic / Blues / Jazz By Brian Clark 1/26 - Dearly Departed WEDNESDAY LIVE MUSIC BY 6 FOOT OF SWING (Blues / Rock) One of my favorite things about writing mediocre rock band. Th ough he just sort of feat members of Viktor Novorski Swing Band 1/27 - Blue Canoe music articles is making inane comparisons trails off and stops short of saying they’ve (Bob from 4000 Holes) CUSTOMER APPRECIATION NIGHT between locally performing bands and evolved past mediocre status, I’ll say it. THURSDAY 1/2 Grilled Cheese Sandwich & Cup 2/2 - Ben Manke (5pm) nationally recognized groups that are im- Th ey are – currently and verifi ably – good. of Tomato Parmesan Soup - $3 The Shook Twins (9pm) Pint of PBR - $1 Live Jazz at 9 p.m. mediately accessible. Yet when I tried to do Th e transformation started in 2005, 2/3 - Viktor Nivorski that with Seven Years Absence, I drew a with Nick and his cousin Alan (who has Swing Band ORIGINAL LIVE MUSIC (Jazz / Acoustic / Lounge) complete blank. A little frustrated, when I since left the band and moved to Walla FRI & SAT See sidebar for details sat down with the band it became clear why Walla), slowly adding members and musi- this pigeonholing was so diffi cult. cally progressing. Th ough they formed over “We’re all extremely diff erent in terms of a year and a half ago, they’ve only played our musical styles,” drummer Mike Uhlen- a couple shows around town, last seen at kott admits. He gravitates more towards Th e Big Dipper sometime late last summer indie rock while bassist/backing vocalist (there’s some confl icting opinion of when Brian James goes more for the art rock the hell that was, exactly). scene, keyboardist/guitar- Th eir diff erent schedules and lifestyles ist Nick Lambert is into in general have led to a veritable stuff that’s a bit heavier paucity of live performances, 122 South Monroe, Appetizers & Deli Menu Available Seven Years 509-835-4177 Pre-Party before Big Easy Shows by comparison and lead Absence but they’ve managed to spend w/Garage Voice Located next to Brooklyn Deli, Fri 11 am - 2 am • Sat 6 pm - 2 am vocalist/rhythm guitarist Sat, Feb. 3, 9 p.m. a fair bit of time recording in kitty-corner from Big Easy Mon -Thur 11 am - 11 pm Casey Luport draws most of Empyrean Coffee House one basement or another. On 21+, $3 his roots from folksy singer/ (509) 838-9819 the day after the Super Bowl, songwriter fare. however, undoubtedly still “If Casey had his way, hungover, they’re heading into LIVE MUSIC we’d be playing nothing but folk and blue- the studio to start properly recording their grass,” Nick jokes. debut album. Th eir previously recorded Every Tues :: Reggae Night As it stands, Seven Years Absence plays demo tracks (a few of which you can check (Reggae / Dance) nothing of the sort. Th eir music is a highly out at www.myspace.com/sevenyearsab- Every Wed :: Skillet Jones emotional (though emo doesn’t seem to fi t) sence) sound pretty stellar without the glitz and th Funky-Fi Collectors medley of guitars and keyboards, with the of a studio and it should be pretty exciting (Funk / Reggae / Soul) occasional violins or mandolin thrown in to to see what they come up with. create a sound that I would best describe as Clearly I’m not the only one who thinks hyper-polished garage rock. Determined still they have promise. Recently, they’ve been Jan 25th :: College Night (DJ) to draw some sort of comparison, the only signed on to provide the soundtrack for one that comes to mind is Live circa Mental a fairly major studio fi lm that’ll be shot Jan 26th :: Milonga w/ Eddie Ramirez Jewelry, but that’s a really terrible juxtaposi- in Chicago this summer, where they’ll be (Latin / Acoustic / Roots Music) tion as it’s almost entirely based on the vocal stationed for several days recording original range and prowess that’s pretty astonishing songs for the “dark, coming-of-age” movie Jan 27th :: Laylah’s Drink on both counts (suffi ce it to say that Seven as Brian sort of sheepishly characterizes it, w/ The Foxy Sluts (Rock / Other) Years Absence boasts one of the best lead searching for a better description. singers you’ll see on the local circuit) but the More to the point, Seven Years Absence Feb 1st :: College Night (DJ) music is otherwise completely incomparable. can be seen at Th e Empyrean on Saturday, While they seem to have a similarly February 3rd with cross-state band Garage Feb 2nd :: Hempfest BeneÄ t diffi cult time categorizing their own sound, Voice and another guest to be named later. Feat. Mista Gemini, 3DoggDown Knothead, M-Dub, Rod Mac they’re undeniably excited about where it’s Th e former may or may not be headlining (Rap / Hip Hop / Freestyle) going. One thing they all seemed to talk depending, it seems, on whatever everybody about was how the band has evolved. feels like. Cover is only a buck a band (that’s Feb 16th :: Belt of Vapor “It started out as a complete artistic $3 for the numerically challenged) with mu- w/ Lines Collide, DB Cooper (Rock / Alternative / Reggae) release,” Brian stated, “but over time the sic getting underway at or around 9 p.m. As songwriting started improving and the Brian surmises, “Th ese are three good bands Feb 17th :: Braille music started coming together with it.” that deserve some exposure. We’re excited; it w/ Theory Hazit (Rap) Nick describes the transformation in should be a good opportunity to hear some more self-eff acing and sarcastic terms – I bands you’ve never heard before.” doubt he uttered a truly serious sentence all Th e Empyrean Coff ee House can be interview – saying that SYA started out as found at 154 S. Madison in downtown a really bad acoustic band, morphed into a Spokane. For more information, log onto mediocre acoustic band and fi nally into a www.spokanesidekick.com. † THE SPREAD 230 W. RIVERSIDE AVE :: 456-4515 :: 4 P.M. - 2 A.M.

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 5 LiVE MUSiC Suicide Soup Night at The Blvd

su·i·cide soup (soo-uh-sahyd soop) noun. 1. A liquid food made by combining the contents of numerous thealwayschangingimprovshowcasethe always changing improv showcase diff erent fl avors of soups into one large pot. 2. Being diverse in an eclectic manner.

By A.W. Rowse Locke, photo by Keegan McClung Th e Blvd is hosting an eclectic night of music on Friday, January 26th that will Also performing is Tokio Weigh Sta- pretty much have something for everyone. tion, a band that has exploded onto the MC extraordinaire Locke headlines the local scene. Th ey pretty much seem to night with support form indie rockers For be everywhere these days playing their Years Blue and Tokio Weigh Station and awesome blend of laid-back indie rock. the acoustic melodies of Th e Benjamin According to Brian Clark, Managing Gordon Project. Editor of the Spokane SiDEKiCK, “Th is As a general rule I don’t really like is a band with a musical set that begs to hip-hop, but Locke is a rare exception. be sung along with.” To learn the words, Originally from Spokane (but now calling check them out on MySpace at myspace. The AdventurAdventure e bbegins egins Seattle his home) Locke makes hip-hop com/tokioweighstation. You can also catch look easy. Th e fl ow comes them at Mootsy’s on Wednesday, January February 3rd naturally to Locke, leaving 31st along with Barcelona him more time to work on and Paper Genius. The 1st and 3rd SATURDAY of EVERY month Locke his progressive messages. w/ For Years Blue Opening the night is the Time: 9pm Cost: $5 ALL seats Tokio Weigh Station His songs make your body Benjamin Gordon Project Benjamin Gordon Project, Tickets available at the door or online at TicketsWest.com bounce but also carry a story Fri, Jan 26th, 9 p.m. a solo side venture of Ben (no coupons, group rate discounts or special offers) that’s worth listening to. The Blvd Hamm, lead singer of Fine 815 W Garland Ave Need Reservations? Send your request to: [email protected] 18+, $5 509-747-7045 Joining Locke is Spokane’s (509) 455-7826 Print of a Truce. Th is acoustic www.bluedoortheatre.com Show may not be suitable for all ages (PG-13) For Years Blue, a quintet of act showcases the softer side musicians featuring Kyle Musselwhite, Mac of Hamm, but still drips with all of the Smith, Erik Walters, Marcus Ourada and passion found in Hamm’s work with Fine Sean McCotter. For Years Blue is probably Print of a Truce and Morning After. ON SALE one of the better Spokane bands that I have Th is 18 and older show gets started NOW! never heard – I was instantly impressed as around 9 p.m. on Friday, January 26th. I listened to their Myspace page (myspace. Cover is $5 at the door. Th e Blvd is located com/foryearsblue). Th ey have an element at 333 W. Spokane Falls Blvd in downtown that is diff erent than most other bands Spokane across the street from the Opera MERLE – instead of trying to be loud, they are House. For a full list of upcoming concerts actually concerned about their music and at Th e Blvd look to their ad on page 13 create songs that you can enjoy at some- of this publication or look online at www. thing other than full volume. SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com. † HAGGARD Scientology Basic idea: According to a well-researched article by Janet Reitman in Rolling Stone, Sci- entologists “assert that 75 million years ago, an evil galactic warlord named Xenu controlled seventy-six planets in this corner of the galaxy, each of which was severely overpopulated. To AND THE STRANGERS solve this problem, Xenu rounded up 13.5 trillion beings and then fl ew them to Earth, where they were dumped into volcanoes around the globe and vaporized with bombs. This scattered their radioactive souls, or thetans, until they were caught in electronic traps set up around the atmosphere and ‘implanted’ with a number of false ideas - including the concepts of God, special guest Christ and organized religion. Scientologists later learn that many of these entities attached themselves to human beings, where they remain to this day ...” Granted, that’s not really the crux of their belief, persay, but it’s pretty damn funny nonetheless.

Founded: 1952 by L. Ron Hubbard

Worldwide members: Scientologists claim between 8 and 9 million NEKO CASE followers while non-Scientologists sources cite the number at less than 500,000. Notable Scientologists include Kristie Alley, Anne Archer, Catherine Bell, Sonny Bono, Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson), Tom Cruise, Jenna Elfman, Isaac Hayes, Katie Holmes, Jason Lee, Juliette Lewis, Danny Masterson, Lisa FEBRUARY 12 Marie Presley, Kelly Preston, Billy Sheehan, and John SPOKANE Travolta. (according to Wikipedia.org) 7:30 PM INB PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Other “science” based religions: www. .com Christian Science, 1-800-325-SEAT OPERA HOUSE some would also say Religious Humanism

Page 6 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK LiVE MUSiC

Smile Line Spark reignites that old loving feeling by A.W. Rowse Spark I would feel right at home.” Th e band will hold an Offi cial Re- In the SiDEKiCK’s very fi rst issue we union Show on Saturday, February 3rd wrote a story about Smile Line Spark at Moosty’s where they will be re-released – two weeks later they broke up. It was back into the wild-and-crazy Spokane a sad time for all. Th e band parted ways music scene. when two key members announced, on the Smile Line Spark will be joined by same day, that they were leaving Spokane Mistress and the Misters (Spokane) and for good. Patrick McHenry, Patient Patient (Seattle). lead singer of Smile Line Th ere is no question that

Spark, had been dealing Smile Mistress and the Misters is one with a fl akey line-up since Line Spark of the SiDEKiCK’s favorite w/ Patient Patient the band’s inception had Mistress and the Misters local bands. Th ese four guys reached his threshold. Sat, Feb 3rd, 9 p.m. perform with a frantic energy “We (Adam David and I) Mootsy’s that most venues can’t contain. 21+ $5 were fed up with the lack of (509) 838-1570 Each song is a massive attack commitment and wanted to of frenzied vocals, intense take a break,” says McHenry. guitars and a charisma that screams for 2007 has marked a new beginning for your undivided attention. You can get a many things and Feburary 3rd marks a new great idea of how they sound by picking up beginning for Smile Line Spark. Th e band a copy of their new CD “Confl agration” at returns to the stage with two original mem- 4000 Holes, Unifi ed Groove Merchants or bers (Patrick McHenry, vocals and guitar; Hastings. Adam David, lead guitar), new bass player Making the trip across the great desert of Kori Henderson, and new drummer Brett hell known as central Washington are indie- Neste who have both been performing with rockers Patient Patient. No you are not McHenry in his transitional band Wayne seeing double – the band’s name is “Patient Patrick. While the new Smile Line Spark Patient.” Th e band has a sound that mirrors line-up is very similar to Wayne Patrick, the surroundings that birthed them. Like the two bands are worlds apart. the overcast Northwest, the band’s sound, “Wayne Patrick was really watered down though colorful and dynamic, has a precipi- – it was really great for little acoustic shows tating moodiness moodiness. OK, that time but we could never really rock,” explains I was just making fun of them them. McHenry. “Smile Line Spark, on the other Mootsy’s is located at 406 W Sprague hand, is built to rock. I would have been Avenue in downtown Spokane. Th is show, terrifi ed to take Wayne Patrick into some- presented by Rock Coff ee, is for those 21 thing like Th e Blvd, but with Smile Line and older only and costs $5 at the door. †

Jedi Basic idea: Everyone and everything is bound by The Force which, according to prominent sage Obi-won Kenobi, is “an energy fi eld created by all living things. It surrounds us, pen- etrates us, and binds the galaxy together.” A jedi is, above all else, a monastic peacekeeper, sworn to uphold peace and generally promote good will wherever he or she goes.

Founded: A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Worldwide members: You wouldn’t think there would be any but, in a 2001 national census in the United Kingdom, a staggering 390,000 Brits responded that “Jedi Knight” was their offi cial religion, making it the fourth largest in the country, according to www.statistics.gov. uk. If George Lucas ever mobilized his legion of fans, he could probably take over most of the countries in the southern hemisphere.

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 7 MUSiC BRiEFS Attention New Everclear and Businesses happy are two words that shouldn’t mix

by A.W. Rowse

I admit it – I own three Everclear hand, formed a band with his brother albums. Back in the 90’s they really rocked. named Oohlas that is actually pretty good. Between Sparkle & Fade and So Much for Alexakis, who was the real talent behind the Afterglow it seemed like these Portland Everclear, formed a new band and has rockers had a formula for success. Th eir continued to record under the Everclear ? music was radio friendly but it also con- name. In September they released a new tained that element of sincerity. Lead singer album titled Welcome to the Drama Club. Did you know that the Spokane SiDEKiCK Art Alexakis has lived his lyrics, for better While it’s a little darker, it lacks any of the has a special ad rate for new businesses? or worse. But around the millennium sincerity of the old classics. We know how hard it is to start a business something happened to the band – sud- Everclear returns to Spokane on Th urs- denly the glass became half full as they day, February 1st with a revamped line-up, and have created a special deal to help released Songs from an American Movie Part featuring bassist Sam Hudson, guitarist you get started. For more information call 1. Bad mistake. While the Dave French, drummer Brett album wasn’t bad, it wasn’t Snyder and keyboardist Josh the SiDEKiCK at 216-5771. Everclear Everclear. Jonny Lives!, Punchline Crawley, and a set of new Th e SiDEKiCK often The Alternate Route songs wrenched from events in recommends a good cuddle Thurs, Feb 1st, 7:30 p.m. Alexakis’ own life, including THE SPOKANE The Big Easy session with a puppy to All Ages the recent break-up of his SiDEKiCK (509) 244-3279 SPOKANE’S MOST COMPLETE ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE cure a hopelessly depressed marriage and being forced to artist (such as Tom Waits. declare bankruptcy follow- Th at dude needs some ing his split with longtime love) but Alexakis needs the opposite. label Capitol Records in 2004. Alexakis Would somebody please kick him in the feels like Welcome to the Drama Club balls? What happened to that dark, de- represents a return to his beginnings. Th e pressed front man from the nineties? He SiDEKiCK isn’t so sure of this statement. became happy, that’s what! Alexakis had a To make your own judgment check out Bluetooth myriad of issues ranging from addiction the revamped Everclear as they perform to abandonment, but he used them as his with Jonny Lives, Punchline, and Th e Camera Phone muse. Music was his outlet, a way to deal Alternate Route at the Big Easy on the with his history. Apparently it worked a 1st. Doors open at 6:30 p.m., show starts little too well. He seems like a generally at 7:30. happy guy, but his songwriting has taken Th e Big Easy is located at 919 W a turn for the worse. Sprague Avenue in downtown Spokane. Everclear as I knew it broke up in 2004. Tickets for this all-ages show can be $79.99 Art Alexakis, bass player Craig Montoya purchased via TicketsWest for $25. For a (after rebate) (born and raised in Spokane) and drum- full list of locations and numbers turn to mer Greg Eklund split ways to pursue page 12 of this issue. To hear samples of new artistic ventures. Montoya is now in the “new” Everclear go to www.Spokan- a band called Tri-something that pretty eSiDEKiCK.com where you will fi nd song much sucks out loud. Ehland, on the other samples and much, much more. † ll Phones on Sale A Chen Tao Basic idea: Combining Buddhism, Taoism and – cough – UFOlogy, Chen Taosits believe, according to wikipedia, “that the Earth went through fi ve tribulations going back to the age of the dinosaurs. Each of these tribulations was survived by beings living in North America who were rescued by God Save in a fl ying saucer. Added to that they believed the solar system is 4.5 trillion years old or roughly 300 times the age mainstream science gives for the entire Universe. Added to this they believe that the solar system was created by a nuclear war.”

Founded: 1992

Worldwide members: Very few (perhaps none) after a debacle in 1998 that made Geraldo’s “dis- $50 - $100 covery” of the Al Capone Vault look like a college kid who accidentally highlighted the wrong pas- On New Phones sage in their study guide. Chen Tao’s leader claimed that God would appear at midnight of March 25th on Channel 18 across North America. Wouldn’t you know it, though, nothing happened that night and it seems everybody got bored and just kind of wandered off.

*Limited time offer with new activation on a qualified plan. Other religions incorporating UFOs: The Aetherius Society, Heaven’s Gate, Nation of Islam, Raelism, Unarius Academy of Science, Scientology (see page 6)

Page 8 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK LiVE MUSiC Brit rocker Matt Hales to play Big Easy

By Brian Clark

To my grave disappointment, Aqualung Coldplay’s last album. Th ink Oasis meets refers to neither a scuba gear conference Nick Drake. nor a Jethro Tull tribute band. Instead, Aqualung’s one-off Spokane concert the term as it pertains to the local music can be seen at Bourbon Street Uptown scene is actually a British dude by the Food and Spirits at 916 W. 1st Ave in name of Matt Hales, a downtown Spokane, on pretty accomplished and Wednesday, February 7th at talented musician who’ll Aqualung 7:30 p.m. Tickets are set at $15 be performing in Bourbon for this all ages event, available Wed, Feb 3rd, 7:30 p.m. Street at the Big Easy Con- Bourbon Street, All Ages now through www.ticketswest. cert House on Wednesday, (509) 244-3279 com, 1-800-325-SEAT, or February 3rd. by visiting any of the Tick- Matt’s American etsWest outlets around town debut album was released a couple years (see the calendar spread for ago and achieved a fair bit of success off a list). For more information, visit www. the strength of the single “Brighter than spokanesidekick.com. † Sunshine,” which received a fair bit of play on movie soundtracks and various TV If Aqualung sounds like your cup of tea, spots. Th e title of the album itself, Strange you’d probably also like Joshua Radin, and Beautiful, comes from the name of his who’s returning to the Big Easy for a most recognizable UK hit, a top 10 single concert on Monday, February 12th. Radin in 2002 that was featured heavily in a Volk- came through town as part of the Hotel OBO S DULT IDEOS Cafe Tour back in October, and will be B ’ A V swagen Beetle television campaign. returning as the headliner for a show with 4500 DVD 2500 VHS Titles Both are solid, pretty songs that you fellow singer/songwriter (and accom- Sale Prices at $4 to $30 should listen to. It’s like how Coldplay plished actress) Schuyler Fisk. Tickets are set at $10 ($12 at the door), available Hundreds of Magazines would sound if Chris Martin wasn’t so Credit Cards Accepted totally in love with Gwyneth Paltrow now through all the usual channels: www. ticketswest.com and their various outlets, Bring in Ad for 20% and wrote a heartfelt song without the as well as 1-800-325-SEAT. glitz or arena rock cheese that permeated off 1st Purchase 'REEN3TREET

3POKANE #OMMUNITY 3915 E. Trent BEST BAND ALPHABET SOUP #OLLEGE (Freya East to curve) -ISSION!VE (509) 535-7245 NAME “THE J LIST” *ULIA3T T!VE EN %4R Open Tues-Sat

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When a new band forms, EY

A

Welcome to part 10 of our 26 part series where we count down 3T they spend almost as REET much time deciding on a our fi ve favorite songs starting with every letter of the alphabet. band name as they do writ- Here, then, is our offering for “The J List,” ing music. To justify time in no particular order: spent, the SiDEKiCK will pick one group perform- OUR PiCKS: READER PiCKS: ing in Spokane during the JJunkie Song Jump Attention Mac Users! run of the issue and award Be Good Tanyas Van Halen them the title of Best Band Jesus (Don’t Touch My Baby) Jolene 4(%30/+!.% Name for the issue. Ryan Adams Dolly Parton 3I$%+I#+ Events for Today John Wayne Gacy Jr. Jambalaya The Winner... Sufjan Stevens Hank Williams Music Live Music Jolene Jump 3:00 PM Dog House Blues Ray Lamontagne Pointer Sisters @ Mr G's Bar & Grill 3:00 PM Spokane String Quartet, Ravel The Foxy Sluts Just Like Heaven Just a Gigolo @ Met, The The Cure David Lee Roth 7:30 PM Fear Factory w/ Suffocation, Sat. Jan 27th, 9:00 pm Hypocrisy, Decapitated Mootsy’s Bar, 21+ @ Big Easy Concert House cuts that accentuate your facial structure. 406 W. Sprague This week’s readers picks were sent by Al Keifer who, if this 9:00 PM Cary Fly Band color to enhance your skin and eyes. (509) 838-1570 list is any indication, loves him some 80s butt rock. For sending a style with the individual in mind. us his picks, Al gets a $20 gift certifi cate to Paradise Restaraunt Congratulations, The Foxy The SiDEKiCK Widget (226 W. Riverside). Email us your fi ve favorite songs starting with Sluts. You win absolutely A CUT & COLOR SALON the letter K to [email protected] and we’ll print one of nothing, but having a great Available only at 15 N Browne St the responses alongside our picks in the next issue. If we pick band name should be its Spokane, Wa 99201 yours (and there’s a pretty decent chance we will since we only www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com own reward, we think. (509) 456-2200 get a few responses every week) we’ll give you some free stuff. Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 9 LiVE MUSiC MERLYN'S 19 W Main ST 624-0957 Prago declares th FRI, FEB 9 5-7pm February COMIC BOOK SIGNING Johnny Cash by the local creators of Tribute Month SAM NOIR: SAMURAI DETECTIVE

Books, Games, Comic, By Brian Clark Hobby and Much More www.Merlyns.biz Johnny Cash was born exactly 74 years Johnson will play an acoustic set of Cash ago to the day, as of February 26th. Cel- tunes from 6 to 7 p.m., while DJ Crow ebrating the legacy that was Johnny Cash will be spinning Johnny’s music from the – inarguably the most infl uential and, in end of Johnson’s set until close. Th en, on my opinion, the best country musician of the man’s birthday, Monday, February 26th, all time – Prago Argentine Café is declaring KYRS’ Spotucky Radio will be playing February Johnny Cash Tribute Month, Cash songs from 9 to close. commemorating it as such with several Th e record and memorabilia exhibi- related festivities. tion can be seen in Prago throughout the Th roughout the month, a 58-album month of February. All ages are invited to collection of Cash vinyls will be exhibited attend the musical events, with beverages at the Café, on loan from local gravedig- of an adult nature available for anyone ger Ty Goodwin, with album liner notes, who can prove they’re old enough. Prago lyrics and other assorted Johnny Cash can be found at the corner of Riverside memorabilia joining the impressive LP and Browne in downtown Spokane. For Friday, February 2nd @ 7pm collection. more information, such as a map or a fully Music from Th e Man in Black can be cross-referenced list of all Prago’s upcoming heard at Prago throughout the month, events, visit www.spokanesidekick.com. 3016 East Fifth Avenue as well. On the exhibit’s opening night, Otherwise, you can get ahold of the Café Friday, February 2nd, local musician Jeff directly by calling (509) 443-0404. †

Music Briefs Kite CD Release Party The Kelly Hughes Band will perform from 9:00 p.m. to close on Friday and Saturday, It’s a new year and time for a new album January 26th and 27th at The Slab Inn in Post for Spokane/Coeur D’Alene veteran rockers Falls, with an encore performance the follow- Kite. The quartet will release their 4th album, ing weekend, Friday and Saturday, February “Sleeping in Thunder,” on Saturday, January 2nd and 3rd at Big Al’s Country Club in State 27th at Mootsy’s in Spokane with the help of Line. The band has a ton more shows booked local favorite Cristopher Lucas. for the area so be sure to check out www. Kite began in 1994 as a studio project that SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com for a full list. quickly became an ambitious touring act. Thir- The Slab Inn is located at 801 W. Seltice teen years and 4 albums later, these progres- Way in Post Falls (Exit at Spokane Street). sive rockers are still impressing audiences with For directions look online at www.Spokan- their powerful lyrics, complex melodies and eSiDEKiCK.com. Big Al’s is located at 6152 W. searing performances. According to the band, Seltice Way, just off of I-90 in Stateline, Idaho. “Sleeping in Thunder” is their best work yet. Just keep driving until you see the giant barn Bgafmkl`]^jakl^ja\Yqg^]n]jqegfl`& Opening the show is Cristopher Lucas who and hear the music blaring. +().=Ykl>a^l`Yn]fm]t-(1&-+-&1+--tOOO&B9;G:KO=DDKHGC9F=&;GE will play original selections from his new re- lease “Cruxlife.” Mootsy’s is located at 406 W Sprague Avenue in downtown Spokane. The Free Whiskey at Far West show is for those 21 and older only and starts Ok, that headline is a little misleading – by at roughly 9 p.m. Cover is $5 at the door. Free Whiskey we don’t mean free shots of alcoholic beverages distilled from grains and Kelly Hughes aged in oak casks. Free Whiskey is a local Irish band that seems to perform only around Saint Stateline’s original honky-tonk hero, Kelly Patrick’s Day (They also host weekly jam ses- Hughes, is back in town and performing a full sions at O’Doherty’s every Tuesday during the load of shows allowing you ample opportunity rest of the year). According to SpokaneFolk- to cowboy up and party down. Hughes be- lore.org, “this 4 member acoustic ensemble came a local celebrity over the past 20 years refurnishes traditional Irish-Gaelic tunes and as the former proprietor of the rocking and songs while ‘Celtifying’ rock, folk and classical rowdy Kelly’s Country Club, (now Big Al’s) and favorites.” 100% Metal with host Big T. as front man to the Kelly Hughes band. When While there is no free whiskey, the show at he closed shop in June of 2004 to focus on Friday Nights, 8-10 p.m. Far West has no cover. Music starts at around his music, he left a hole in the local honkytonk Only on 105.7 FM, The Buzzard 9 p.m. on Thursday, February 1st and is scene that remained unfi lled until Big Al’s Call 241-1057 to request a song restricted to those 21 and over only. Far West opened its doors in November 2004 at the is located at 1001 W. First Avenue kitty-cor- former Kelly’s Country Club. They have been ner from the Big Easy. The bar features free going strong, attracting a standard group of THE SPOKANE live music every Thursday night so be sure to diehards as well as a rotating array of college SiDEKiCK check out www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com, or kids, bachelorette parties, and those just curi- our center calendar, for a full line-up. ous about the mechanical bull.

Page 10 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK LiVE MUSiC

Round 3 - McConkey-Long Band, Blak Curtain, Sound Curfew, Making the Day, Catacomb

Saturday, Jan 27th, 7pm 7:00 p.m. - Catacomb 7:45 p.m. - Making the Day 8:30 p.m. - Sound Curfew 9:15 p.m. - Blak Curtain 10:00 p.m. - McConkey-Long Band RAWK 10:40 p.m. - Special Guest Patrick O’Neill Final Four Catacomb Making the Day (Metal / Progressive / Death Metal) (Punk / Rock / Pop Punk) RAWK sets out to crown best Rogers High East Valley High young band in Spokane www.myspace.com/catacombband www.myspace.com/makingtheday

SiDEKiCK Staff

It was a cold, icy night on Saturday, Janu- ary 13th but that didn’t stop the 300 plus fans from showing up at the Service Station to wit- ness the fi rst round of the RAWK Final Four battle of the bands. Five bands competed with metal/screamo band Fires of Scottsboro taking the prize and advancing to the fi nal round that will be held on Saturday, February 24th. Fires of Scottsboro is comprised of Wade Sound Curfew Blak Curtain McConkey-Long Band (Rock / Pop Punk) (Rock / Classic Rock / Jam Band) (Rock) Muncey, Julia Frowick, Austin Main, Brandon Lake City, Coeur D’Alene Shadle Park, Havermale Ferris, Northwest Christian Bakken, Derek McFaul all out of Northwest www.myspace.com/soundcurfew www.myspace.com/blakcurtain n/a Christian. Th e second round of the Final Four, held on Saturday, January 20th, was won by Chris- Round 4 - Some Will Fall, The Nightfl y, Small Town Nation, To No Avail, A Moment Shattered tian rock band Beaf from University and Cen- tral Valley High Schools. Th e SiDEKiCK only Saturday, Feb 3rd, 7pm caught the end of the set but we can vouch 7:00 p.m. - A Moment Shattered that Beaf really rocked. Beaf is comprised of 7:45 p.m. - To No Avail Steven Cutter, Kris Mayhew, Jon Kilebon, 8:30 p.m. - Small Town Nation Kevin Darrow, Justin Catlett, Tony Kanago. 9:15 p.m. - The Nightfl y 10:00 p.m. -Some Will Fall Look for more on both of these bands in the 10:40 p.m. - Special Guest Kristen February 22nd issue of the SiDEKiCK. Marlo and the Great Winners for each night are determined by a popular vote taken from the audience. Th ere will also be one “wild card” band selected by the RAWK panel that will compete in the fi - A Moment Shattered To No Avail (Progressive / Psychedelic / Rock) (Metal / Hardcore) nals making for a total of fi ve bands. With two Shadle Park High Lakeland High spots taken and three spots still up for grabs, www.myspace.com/amomentshattered http://www.myspace.com/tonoavail208 the tournament is far from over. Th e fi nalists will convene on Saturday, Feb- ruary 24th at 7 p.m. to vie for a chance to win a weekend of free recording time in Seattle, provided by Isaiah Vering of Delve Music, with an honorarium toward travel expenses paid by RAWK. Each opening round winner will also receive $100 and an appearance on KYRS Th in Air Radio’s All Ages show the fol- lowing Tuesday. Th e Spokane SiDEKiCK is proud to be a sponsor of the RAWK Final Four, an op- Small Town Nation The Nightfl y Some Will Fall portunity for young bands to gain name (Punk / Pop Punk) (Rock) (Screamo / Rock / Emo) recognition, a chance to perform in front of Deer Park High Lewis and Clark East Valley, Post Falls large crowds and, ultimately, continuing this www.myspace.com/smalltownnation www.myspace.com/thenightfl ymusic www.myspace.com/somewillfall venture to build a larger all-ages music scene in the Spokane area. All of the competitive concerts in this series will take place at Th e Fires of Scottsboro BEAF Service Station, 9315 N. Nevada on the north Round 1 Winner Round 2 Winner side of Spokane. Look right for a breakdown (Metal / Hardcore / Screamo) (Rock / Christian) of competing bands over the next couple of Northwest Christian University / Central Valley weeks, or log onto www.spokanesidekick. myspace.com/fi resofscottsboroo www.myspace.com/beafmusic com to listen to samples tracks from all of the bands entered in the contest. † Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 11 Jan 25th - Feb 7th Thursday • 25 Friday • 26 Saturday • 27 Customer Appreciation Night ($1 PBR)** ------Music ------Music ------6:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Ken Luker, Solo Guitar 5:45 PM ella’s Nighthawk** 3:00 PM Hedge House, The Free Workshop: ‘Artist Trust Grant Writing’ Cat Country 94 Guitar Poll 7PM Big Easy Tracy Carr, solo jazz guitar 5:45 PM ella’s 6:00 PM Spokane Arts School Kyle Tostenrude w/ Logan Heftel, Martin Nelson Quest for the Best (BoB) 7:00 PM Big Easy Locations 7:00 PM Leonardo’s Coffee RAWK Final Four - Round 3 7 PM Service Station ------Music ------Nick Schauer, jazz 7 PM Service Station Sean Saugen 7:00 PM Ionic Burrito By Phone 1-800-325-SEAT Open Mic Night 6:00 PM Ionic Burrito Lysdexic w/ Endorphine, Big Dirty Guns, Kung-Fu Abe Kenny, Classical Guitar 7 PM Prago Acoustic Jam w/ Maxie Mills** Masterbait 7:00 PM Empyrean Coffee Hip-Hop Show 7:00 PM Feel Good Ink Online @ www.TicketsWest.com 6:00 PM Working Class Heroes Kristen Marlo w/ Shane Evans 7PM Ionic Burrito Tom Catmull 7:30 PM Barrel Room No. 6 (C’DA) Jazz Night w/ Groove Patrol ($1 PBR)** Saul Williams, Hip-Hop 7:30 PM SFCC Maxie Ray Mills 8:00 PM Peacock Room Ultraglide** 8:00 PM Hedge House, The Ken Luker Band** 8:00 PM Working Class Heroes DOWNTOWN SPOKANE 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Donny Emerson** 9:00 PM Bigfoot Pub & Eatery Spokane Symphony: ‘Flights of Fantasy’ An Evening of Artistic Fusion 8 PM Caterina Winery Spokane Arena - 720 W. Mallon Exit 7** 9:00 PM Fizzie Mulligans 8:00 PM INB Performing Arts Center Character Traits** 8:30 PM The Grail (C’DA) 10 am - 6 pm, Mon - Fri Casey Wilkinson, jazz piano 5:00 PM ella’s Maxie Ray Mills** 8:00 PM Peacock Room Party 101** 9:00 PM Volcano’s Hip-Hop Show feat M-Dub, Knothead, Rod Mac, Pappa Glenn** 9:00 PM Mr G’s Bar & Grill Met Theater - 901 W. Sprague Jackstraw (bluegrass) 7:30 PM Rick Singer Photography Studio Big Hump** 8:00 PM Flame, The River City Rockers** 9:00 PM Ripley’s Plantation 10 am - 2 pm, Mon - Fri Sammy Eubank w/ Bob Moss** The Shockers** 8:00 PM Working Class Heroes Blue Canoe 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Spokane Symphony - 818 W. Riverside 8:00 PM Buckhorn Inn Joel Smith w/ Jon Crocker, Fair Iesa Kelly Hughes Band** 9:00 PM Slab Inn 9:30 am - 5 pm, Mon - Fri Don Goodwin Trio, jazz** 8:00 PM ella’s 8:00 PM Caterina Winery Somebody’s Hero** 9:00 PM Fizzie Mulligans The P.A. System fea Danny Songhurst, Ron Greene, Pappa Glenn** 9:00 PM Mr G’s Bar & Grill DJ Greyboy** 9:00 PM Schweitzer Mountain ROSAUER’S Eddie Ramirez 8:00 PM Caterina Winery Party 101** 9:00 PM Volcano’s Cary Fly Band** 9:00 PM Bigfoot Pub & Eatery Camille Bloom 8:00 PM Empyrean Satellite** 9:00 PM Thumpers Bar & Grill Satellite** 9:00 PM Thumpers Bar & Grill Northside Rosauer’s - 9414 N. Division St York w/ Dan Weber, Kevin Long** River City Rockers** 9:00 PM Ripley’s Plantation Don Goodwin Trio, jazz** 9:00 PMella’s Supper Club 8 am - 8 pm, Mon - Sat 9:00 PM Far West Billiards Kelly Hughes Band** 9:00 PM Slab Inn Deep 6** 9:00 PM Bolo’s Bar & Grill South Hill Rosauer’s - 2610 E. 29th Ave The Racket & Guests* 9:00 PM Blvd., The Cary Fly Band** 9:00 PM Bigfoot Pub & Eatery Julie Anne and the Jukebox Junkies**9 PMBig Al’s Milonga** Laylah’s Drink w/The Foxy Sluts** 8 am - 9 pm, Daily Club U* 10:00 PM Big Easy Concert House 9:00 PM Spread, The 9 PM Spread, The Somebody’s Hero** 9:00 PM Fizzie Mulligans BX3* 9:00 PM Blvd., The Valley Rosauer’s - 10618 E. Sprague Ave Ladies Night w/ DJ** 10:00 PM Talotti’s 211 College Night** 9:00 PM Spread, The Don Goodwin Trio, jazz** 9:00 PM ella’s Flicky w/ Jigsaw Repubic** 9:00 PM Blue Spark 10 am - 6 pm, Mon - Sat DJ Tatyana** 10:00 PM Lions Lair Deep 6** 9:00 PM Bolo’s Bar & Grill KITE w/ Cristopher Lucas** 9:00 PM Mootsy’s DJ James Pants 9:00 PM Prago Argentine Cafe Julie Anne & Jukebox Junkies** 9 PM Big Al’s Chris Rieser and 33 Stone** 10 PM Trick Shot Dixie’s WEST PLAINS Living Proof** 9:00 PM Alaskan, The The Dance Factory** 10:00 PM Big Easy Northern Quest Casino - 100 North Hayford Locke w/ For Years Blue, Tokio Weigh Station, Ben- Mexican Dance Party* 10:00 PM Bourbon Street ------Theater ------jamin Gordon Project* 9:00 PM Blvd., The DJ Loud Richard** 10:00 PM Talotti’s 211 10 am - 10 pm, Daily ‘The Road to Diddlysquat’ 6:30 PM CenterStage Melefl uent** 9:00 PM Raw Sushi & Island Grill DJ Marcus Randall 9:00 PM Raw Sushi & Island Grill Fairchild AFB - Community Ctr Bldg 2185 ‘Barefoot in the Park’ 7:30 PM Civic Theater Real Life Sound w/ Skillet Jones** 9 PM Mootsy’s DJ Bee** 9:00 PM Peking North 7 am - 8 pm, Mon - Fri ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ 7:30 PM Interplayers The Dearly Departed** 9:30 PM Brooklyn Nights DJ Little John** 9:00 PM Flame, The 10 am - 5 pm, Sat & Holidays ‘Agnes of God’ 7:30 PM Spartan Theater (SFCC) Chris Rieser and 33 Stone**10 PM Trick Shot Dixie’s House DJ Scott** 9:00 PM Dempseys Brass Rail Comedy Show 8:00 PM Brick Wall DJ Carlos’ Latino Salsa Party* 9:30 PM Bourbon St After Hours Dance Party** 1:45 AM Dempseys IDAHO DJ Loud Richard** 10:00 PM Talotti’s 211 Milonga w/The Tango Strings 8 PMConexion del Tango ------Other ------DJ Bee** 9:00 PM Peking North DJ Eric Thorne & Marcus Randall** 9 PM Raw Sushi Coeur d’Alene Casino - Highway 95 just House DJ Scott** 9:00 PM Dempseys DJ Pyro** 9:00 PM Flame, The before Worley, ID US Figure Skating Championships 11:00 AM Spokane Arena After Hours Dance Party** 1:45 AM Dempseys 8 am - Midnight, Daily Friday Night Salsa 9:30 PM CenterStage Theater ------Other ------Cage Fights 7:00 PM Big Easy ‘Agnes of God’ 2 & 8 PM Spartan Theater (SFCC) North Idaho College - 1000 W Garden Ave Prago Wine Tasting feat. Carlos Verde Jr, Dick Pratt** ------Theater/Other ------‘Barefoot in the Park’ 8 PM Spokane Civic Theater in Coeur d’Alene, ID 6:00 PM Prago Argentine Cafe Improv: ‘Choose to Lose’ 8:00 PM Blue Door ‘Assassins’ the Musical 8 PM Spokane Civic Theater 10 am - 4 pm, Mon - Fri Lecture: ‘Dead Man Walking’ by Helen Prejean ‘The Road to Diddlysquat’ 6:30 PM CenterStage ComedySportz: 8:00 PM ComedySportz Red Lion Templin’s Resort - 414 E. 1st Ave 8:30 AM Lair Auditorium (SCC) ‘Barefoot in the Park’ 8:00 PM Civic Theater Uncle D’s Comedy Club 8:00 PM Bluz at the Bend Free Tango Lessons 7:30 PM CenterStage Theater in Post Falls, ID ‘Assassins’ the Musical 8:00 PM Civic Theater Comedy Show 7:00 PM Brick Wall Comedy Club Samba Dancing 7:00 PM Simply Dance Studio ‘Agnes of God’ 8:00 PM Spartan Theater (SFCC) Body Massage Comedy 10:00 PM ComedySportz 9 am - 6 pm, Daily Street Style Hip-Hop Class 8:00 PM Simply Dance The Original Show 8:00 PM ComedySportz Comedy: Dan Cummins 7:30 & 10PM CenterStage Free Argentine Tango Class Ed McMahon, ‘Memories of The Tonight Show’** Ed McMahon** 8:30 PM Northern Quest Casino A Note on Age Restrictions 7:30 PM Conexion del Tango 8:30 PM Northern Quest Casino Book: ‘The Irristable Revolution’10:00 AMEmpyrean House Dart Tournament** Book Reading: ‘Lord Brain’ by Bruce Beasley, Book: ‘You Suck! A Love Story’ 7:30 PM Auntie’s * = 18+ show ** = 21+ show 7:00 PM Studio K Bar & Grill ‘Bardo’ by Suzanne Paola US Figure Skating Championships10:30 AM Arena The SiDEKiCK does its best to distinguish between 7:30 PM Auntie’s Bookstore Gonzaga Mens BB 5 PMMcCarthey Athletic Center all ages shows and adult shows but we do make US Figure Skating Championships Hustle Dance Class 7:00 PM Simply Dance Studio 10:00 AM Spokane Arena Saturday Night Salsa 8:15 PM Simply Dance Studio mistakes. Please call the venue and check their age Dempsey’s Drag Show** Game Show Night 8:00 PM Bluz at the Bend policy for a show before you travel any great distance. 10:00 PM Dempseys Brass Rail Dempsey’s Drag Show** 10:00 PM Dempseys Sunday • 28 Monday • 29 Tuesday • 30 Wednesday • 31 ------Music ------Misc ------Music ------Music ------Lindell Reason** 3:00 PM Mr G’s Bar & Grill Open Mic** 9:15 PM Blue Spark Rock Coffee Open Mic 7 PM Caterina Winery Open Turntable Night 9:00 PM Raw Sushi Classical Guitar Circle All Ages Open Mic 8 PM Prago Open Mic Night* 9:00 PM Blvd., The Open Mic / Turntables 6 PM Caterina Winery 3:00 PM Empyrean Coffee House Jonathan Nicolson 7:00 PM Europa Pizzaria Celtic Jam Session** 9 PM O’Doherty’s 6 Foot of Swing** 8:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Sidhe 7:00 PM Europa Pizzaria La Paz 11:30 AM Lair Auditorium (SCC) Sissy Starr **7:00 PM Studio K Bar & Grill Skillet Jones** 9:00 PM Spread, The Industry Night** 9:00 PM Blvd., The Gonzaga Men’s BB9 PM McCarthey Center Matt Tansy** 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Jerin Faulkner11:30 AMLair Auditorium (SCC) ------Theater ------Hip-Hop Class 8 PM Simply Dance Allen Stone 11:30 AM Lair Auditorium (SCC) Eugene Jablonsky & Liz Dreisbach6 PM ella’s ‘Barefoot in the Park’ Argentine Tango6:30PMConexion del Tango Danny McCollim 6:00 PM ella’s Supper Club Joseph Israel, Jerusalem Band8 PM Big Easy 2:00 PM Spokane Civic Theater Texas Hold’em Tournament Student Jazz Jam with Danny McCollim Tokio Weigh Station, etc.** 9:00 PM Mootsy’s ‘Assassins’ the Musical 8:00 PM Brick Wall Comedy Club, The 8:00 PM ella’s Supper Club ------Other ------2:00 PM Spokane Civic Theater Old School DJ Mix 9:00 PM Raw Sushi Film: ‘KPFA On The Air’7 PM Community Bldg Brick Wall Comedy Club Open Mic Reggae Night** 9:00 PM Spread, The ‘Cache’: Intntl Film Fest 7 PM Garland Theater 8:00 PM Brick Wall Comedy Club, The ‘Natural Selections’ 9:00 PM Prago DJ Mayhem** 9:30 PM Bourbon Street ------Other ------Funky Reggae Dance Party 9 PM Caterina ------Other ------New Release Movie Night**4 PM Dempseys Free Comedy Show 8:00 PM Brick Wall US Figure Skating Championships - Exhibition Beer Pong Tournament** 10 PM Talotti’s 211 Spokane Chiefs Hockey7 PMSpokane Arena of Champions 2:00 PM ------Spokane Arena Beginning Belly Dancing 6 PM Simply Dance Lecture: ‘The Spokane Valley Aquifer Study’ Study Break College Night Street Style Hip-Hop Class 8 PMSimply Dance 7:00 PM Lair Auditorium (SCC) 9:00 PM Raw Sushi & Island Grill Simply Hip-Hop Practice 9 PM Simply Dance Variety Swing Class7:00 PM Simply Dance House Pool Tournament** 6 PM Studio K Bar Buy Sell Trade Drop-in Salsa Class7 PM Conexion del Tango Waltz Class 8:00 PM Simply Dance Studio Dempsey’s Brass Rail Bingo 4 PM Dempseys Country Dance Lessons**7:00 PM Ripley’s Argentine Tango6:30 PMConexion del Tango Kill the Keg ($1 pints until gone)** #OMECHECKOUTOURSELECTION The Actor’s Playground 9 PM SimplyDance Country Dance Lessons** 7:00 PM Ripley’s 6:00 PM Blue Spark Texas Hold’em Tournament8:00 PMBrick Wall Dealer’s Choice Poker**10:30 AMBigfoot Pub 1610 N Monroe (509)325-1914 $2 Pint Night** 9:00 PM Blvd., The 50¢ Beer Night 9:00 PM Blvd., The 6INYLSs4APESs#$Ss"OOKS-AGAZINESs-EMORABILIA Beer Bucket Night ($10)**7:00 PM Blue Spark

Page 12 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK The SiDEKiCK is printed every other Thursday and distributed free to 275 venues & businesses around Spokane. Look for your next issue on Thursday, February 8th Thursday • 1 Friday • 2 Saturday • 3 ------Music ------Film: ‘The Secret’ 7:00 PM Unity Church ------Music ------Open Mic Night 6:00 PM Ionic Burrito ------Music ------Pappa Glenn Mr G’s Bar & Grill 7 Ú ##4Ú
Acoustic Jam w/ Maxie Mills** Party 101** 9:00 PM Volcano’s Blues Festival 3:00 PM Ripley’s Plantation 7  6:00 PM Working Class Heroes Ken Luker** 6:00 PM Working Class Heroes Mike Frederick 5:45 PM ella’s Supper Club Groove Patrol** 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Pappa Glenn** 9:00 PM Mr G’s Bar & Grill RAWK Final Four 7 PM Service Station, The  Donny Emerson** 9:00 PM Bigfoot Pub Ben Manke 5:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Seven Years Absence7:00 PM Empyrean #/-"/ Exit 7** 9:00 PM Fizzie Mulligans Blues Festival 5:30 PM Ripley’s Plantation Carbon Leaf7:30 PM Big Easy Concert House Joe Kloess 5:00 PM ella’s Supper Club Mike Frederick 5:45 PM ella’s Supper Club Sidhe**7:30 PM Barrel Room No. 6 (C’DA) Everclear 7:30 PM Big Easy Concert House Jeff Johnson (Cash covers)6:00 PM Prago Burnt Offerings w/ Diminished, Decibal Point, Nick Shilling & Indigo Jazz** 8:00 PM ella’s Jonathan Nicholson 7:00 PM Leonardo’s Now is Mine** 8:00 PM Ichabod’s East Sammy Eubank **8 PM Buckhorn Inn Quest for the Best (BoB) 7:00 PM Big Easy Spokane Symphony 8:00 PM INB Center W Table Top Joe 8:00 PM Caterina Winery The Shape Shifters 7:00 PM Service Station The Longnecks** 8:00 PM Peacock Room estern andwich Free Whiskey(band)** 9 PMFar West Billiards Kris Orlowski and Dave Hannon Abe Kenney 8:00 PM Prago Argentine Cafe S Automatic Gainsay 9:00 PM Blvd., The Kris Orlowski w/ Logan Heftel, David Hannon 7:00 PM Ionic Burito $).%).s$2)6%4(25s#!229/54 Club U* 10:00 PM Big Easy Concert House Mark Ward 7:00 PM Jacob’s Well 8:00 PM Caterina Winery %4RENTBLOCKWESTOF0INES   Ladies Night w/ DJ** 10:00 PM Talotti’s 211 The Longnecks** 8:00 PM Peacock Room Air Suply w/ Rita Coolidge 8:30 PM Quest College Night** 9:00 PM Spread, The Mordekye Lyman 8:00 PMCaterina Winery Viktor Nivorski Swing Band** DJ Tatyana** 10:00 PM Lions Lair Kid Cadillac** 8:00 PM Hedge House, The 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Nick Shilling & Indigo Jazz** 9:00 PM ella’s Sammy Eubanks Band** 9:00 PM Slab Inn Every Tuesday ------Other ------Somebody’s Hero** 9:00 PM Fizzie Mulligans Somebody’s Hero** 9:00 PM Fizzie Mulligans Open Mic, $2 Drafts ‘Barefoot in the Park’7:30 PM Civic Theater Lines Collide w/B.B. Cooper** 9 PM Mootsy’s Nick Shilling & Indigo Jazz** 9:00 PM ella’s Every Wednesday ‘Assassins’ the Musical7:30 PM Civic Theater Kelly Hughes Band** 9:00 PM Big Al’s Kelly Hughes Band** 9:00 PM Big Al’s 50¢ beer Comedy Show 8:00 PM Brick Wall Deep 6** 9:00 PM Bolo’s Bar & Grill Dukes of Ted* 9:00 PM Blvd., The Massy Furgeson** 9:00 PM Blue Spark Thursday 25th Comedy: Kermit Apio 11:30 AM SCC Lair Mista Gemini** 9:00 PM Spread, The 4HE2ACKET'UESTS Groovy Shoes: NC vs Shadle BB Shoved w/ First to Rise* 9:00 PM Blvd., The Deep 6** 9:00 PM Bolo’s Bar & Grill The Cronkites**9:00 PM Thumpers Bar & Grill Friday 26th 3:45 PM Spokane Arena The Shook Twins** 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights smilelinespark, Mistress and the Misters** ,OCKEW&OR9EARS"LUE Free Tango Lessons 7:30 PM CenterStage Save Lefty 9:00 PM Mizuna 4OKIO7EIGH3TATION Samba Dancing7:00 PMSimply Dance Studio The Cronkites**9:00 PM Thumpers Bar & Grill 9:00 PM Mootsy’s "ENJAMIN'ORDON0ROJECT Street Style Hip-Hop Class Lithium ID** 9:00 PM The Grail (C’DA) Big Dirty Guns** 9:00 PM PJ’s Pub (IP (OP)NDIE!COUSTIC 8:00 PM Simply Dance Studio Chris Rieser & The Nerve** 10 PM Trick Shot Chris Rieser and The Nerve**10:00 PM Trick Saturday 27th Free Argentine Tango Class DJ Carlos’ Salsa Party*9:30 PM Bourbon Street Shot Dixie’s "8FEAT3TU(AMM 7:30 PM Conexion del Tango DJ Loud Richard** 10:00 PM Talotti’s 211 Nicolas Vigil & Friends10:00 PM Prago ,EGENDARY"ASS0LAYERS House Dart Tournament** DJ Bee** 9:00 PM Peking North The Dance Factory**10:00 PM Big Easy Thursday 1st 7:00 PM Studio K Bar & Grill The Cutz Hip-Hop 9:30PM Simply Dance Mexican Dance Party*10 PM Bourbon Street !UTOMATIC'AINSAYW College Long Island Night** House DJ Scott** 9:00 PMDempseys Brass Rail DJ Loud Richard** 10:00 PM Talotti’s 211 $AN7EBER "EN-ANCKE After Hours Dance Party**1:45 AMDempseys DJ Marcus Randall 9:00 PM Raw Sushi )NDIE!COUSTIC 4:00 PM Merq Liquid Lounge Customer Appreciation Night ($1 PBR)** Friday Night Salsa 9:30 PM CenterStage DJ Bee** 9:00 PM Peking North Friday 2nd 6:00 PM Brooklyn Nights DJ Crow 4:00 PM Shop, The House DJ Scott**9:00 PMDempseys Brass Rail 3HOVEDW&IRSTTO2ISE DJ Yehon** After Hours Dance Party**1:45 AMDempseys 2OCK!LTERNATIVE 9:00 PM Blue Spark Cat Country DJ** 9:00 PM Slab Inn DJ Pyro** 9:00 PM Flame, The Saturday 3rd ------Film ------Wired 96.9 Party** 9:00 PM Flame, The $UKESOF4EDW Pride & Joy Move Night w/ LGBT ------Other ------*IGSAW2EPUBLIC 7:30 PM CenterStage Theater ------Other ------Improv: ‘Safari’ (PG-13) 9:00 PM Blue Door &UNK2OCK*AZZ Improv: ‘Choose to Lose’ 8:00 PM Blue Door ‘Barefoot in the Park’ 8:00 PM Civic Theater ‘Barefoot in the Park’ 7:30 PM Civic Theater ‘Assassins’ the Musical8:00 PM Civic Theater ‘Assassins’ the Musical 8:00 PM Civic Theater The Original Show 8:00 PM ComedySportz The Original Show 8:00 PM ComedySportz Saturday Night Salsa Book Reading: ‘Discover Your Real Self’ by 8:15 PM Simply Dance Studio Bob Colonna Game Show Night 333 W. SPOKANE FALLS BLVD. 7:30 PM Auntie’s Bookstore 8:00 PM Bluz at the Bend 455-7826 Dempsey’s Drag Show** Dempsey’s Drag Show** 10:00 PM Dempseys Brass Rail 10:00 PM Dempseys Brass Rail

Sunday • 4 Monday • 5 Tuesday • 6 Wednesday • 7 ------Music ------Music ------Music ------Music ------Lindell Reason** 3:00 PM Mr G’s Bar & Grill Spokane’s Original Open Mic Night** Rock Coffee Open Mic7 PM Caterina Winery Open Turntable Night 9:00 PM Raw Sushi Sidhe 7:00 PM Europa Pizzaria 9:15 PM Blue Spark Celtic Jam Session**9:00 PM O’Doherty’s Open Mic / Turntables / Minds Industry Night** 9:00 PM Blvd., The All Ages Open Mic Sissy Starr** 7:00 PM Studio K Bar & Grill 6:00 PM Caterina Winery 8:00 PM Prago Argentine Cafe Matt Tansy** 9:00 PM Brooklyn Nights Skillet Jones**9:00 PM Spread, The Jonathan Nicolson 7:00 PM Europa Pizzaria Blue Man Group 7:30 PM Spokane Arena Aqualung 7:30 PM Bourbon Street ------Other ------Matt Tansy** 8:00 PM Brooklyn Nights 9:00 PM Peking North ‘Natural Selections 9 PM Prago DJ Mayhem** 9:30 PM Bourbon Street Super Bowl Parties 12 PM all over (see pg. 16) ------Theater ------Old School DJ Mix 9:00 PM Raw Sushi Funky Reggae Dance Party w/ Real Life Study Break College Night9:00 PMRaw Sushi Audition: ‘The Nerd’ 6:30 PM Civic Theater Reggae Night** 9:00 PM Spread, The Sound 9:00 PM Caterina Winery House Pool Tournament**6:00 PM Studio K Fantasy Football Lounge ‘Random Access’ with Mike Random, Danny Dempsey’s Brass Rail Bingo4 PM Dempseys 5:00 PM Raw Sushi & Island Grill ------Other ------Access 9:00 PM Prago Argentine Cafe Kill the Keg ($1 pints until gone)** Hip-Hop/Break Dance Class w/ Shanner Book: ‘Blue Like Jazz’ 7:00 PM Empyrean 6:00 PM Blue Spark 8:00 PM Simply Dance Studio Audition: ‘The Nerd’ 6:30 PM Civic Theater ------Theater ------Brick Wall Comedy Club Open Mic Argentine Tango Beer Pong Tournament**10:00 PMTalotti’s 211 Free Comedy Show 8:00 PM Brick Wall 8:00 PM Brick Wall Comedy Club, The 6:30 PM Conexion del Tango Beginning Belly Dancing6 PM Simply Dance ‘Beautiful Boxer’ SFCC International Film Fest Texas Hold’em Tournament Street Style Hip-Hop Class8 PMSimply Dance 7:00 PM Garland Theater 8:00 PM Brick Wall Comedy Club, The Simply Hip-Hop Practice 9 PM Simply Dance Variety Swing Class7:00 PM Simply Dance Drop-in Salsa Class 7 PM Conexion del Tango Waltz Class 8:00 PM Simply Dance Studio Country Dance Lessons**7 PM Ripley’s Argentine Tango6:30 PMConexion del Tango The Actor’s Playground 7 PM Simply Dance Country Dance Lessons**7 PM Ripley’s Pub Trivia** 9:15 PM Blue Spark Dealer’s Choice Poker**10:30 AMBigfoot Pub Game Show Night 8:00 PM Bluz at the Bend 50¢ Beer Night 9:00 PM Blvd., The Speed Dating (Age 48-63)**6:30 PM Satellite Beer Bucket Night ($10)** Speed Dating (Age 32-47)**8:30 PM Satellite 7:00 PM Blue Spark

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 13 FUN AND GAMES Straight outta my Asstrology “Case Sensitive” By M.W. Fritz and Brian Clark - Good for Jan. 25th through Feb. 7th they want attention? WE’LL GIVE ‘EM ATTENTION Aries Taurus Gemini March 21 April 20 May 21 to to to by Matt Jones April 19 May 20 June 20 Across You’ll start the week, in- The guys at the offi ce will After buying a ranch in nocently enough, by tack- start respecting you, right New Mexico, you’ll begin 1 THEY APPEAR AFTER BRAND ling the Sunday New York around the time you’re contemplating how you’d NAMES: ABBR. Times’ crossword puzzle. pumping their chests look in a cowboy hat. This 4 CARVEY AND GOULD This will lead you to dis- full of bullets delivered will lead to seven hours of 9 SITE OF A TEXAN TRAGEDY cover how much you hate semi-automatically from you masturbating to that 13 ___ TZU (TOY DOG) the liberal media. your recently purchased thought. 14 PUT IN A SEAT Kalashnikov. 15 MILKY GEM 16 ELIZABETH OF Cancer Leo Virgo “TRANSAMERICA” 17 MAGAZINE WITH A “CAR OF June 21 July 23 Aug 23 to to to THE YEAR” AWARD July 22 Aug 22 Sept 22 19 e.e. cummings MEMOIR OF This week you’ll become A lifelong dream to get You’ll learn, through 1922, WITH “THE” motivated for the fi rst your picture on the wall undeniable visual proof, 21 WORD BEFORE CROSS time in your life to write a at Applebees comes that your signifi cant OR SKIING letter to your Congress- true next week after an other is cheating on you. 22 HEAT’S GP. man. The motivation will extraordinary chain of After hours of weeping, 23 MEADOW CALL soon lead to frustration, events ends with you you’ll fi nally be consoled 26 “___ DEATH” (BRAD though, when you realize throwing for 285 yards by a trusty friend who GARRETT SITCOM) that you’re no longer and three touchdowns points out, “Dude, you’ve 27 BODY SHOT permitted to hold sharp against the Colts in Super never even met Jenna objects. Bowl XLI. Jamison.” 30 LAWN TOOLS Down 33 GOES HEAD TO HEAD (WITH) 32 GOES OFF COURSE 1 1980S AD VILLAIN WHO TRIED 34 “M*A*S*H” EMMY-WINNER 35 KISS IN A KIA TO RUIN PIZZA 37 CONQUERED Libra Scorpio Sagittarius 36 FEMINIST WORK BY bell hooks 2 SMALL-TIME 38 “WEST SIDE STORY” SONG Sept 23 Oct 23 Nov 22 39 PARAKEET’S PAD 3 ARCHAEOLOGIST’S FRAGMENT 39 HAILED ENTITY to to to Oct 22 Nov 21 Dec 21 41 THEY MAY BE NICKNAMED “BIG 4 BOXER, NOTABLY 40 “UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE” JIM AND THE TWINS” 5 EX-GIANTS OUTFIELDER MOISES ALUM POEHLER You’ll fall in love with a You’ll start trying to make You will kick your smok- 43 SPREAD THE JOY 6 BADMINTON BARRIERS 42 SHAVED THE SHEEP nun. And then, without a difference, just as soon ing habit in hopes of de- 46 HIP ENDING 7 NUT IN A HAT 44 MAG FOUNDED IN 1945 a dictionary, discover you fi nd a clean shirt and voting more time to your 47 SORORITY LETTER 8 DISCO 45 “THE BIG D” the meaning of the word this Seinfeld rerun ends. pedophilia addiction. 49 WORD BEFORE HANGING UP 9 TEQUILA BOTTLE ITEM 48 “COMFORT OF STRANGERS” celibacy. 50 JOHNNY ___ (THE COPS) 10 MIGHTY JOE YOUNG, E.G. SINGER-SONGWRITER BETH 52 SQUARE-___ (KIND OF BOAT) 11 PRESERVE 51 OK CORRAL NAME Capricorn Aquarius Pisces 54 k.d. lang ALBUM OF 1995 12 DIRTY ___ MAN 53 TRAVELOCITY MASCOT Dec 22 Jan 20 Feb 19 57 PROP FOR LIBERACE 13 WORN OUT 54 RADIO PERSONALITY CAROLLA to to to 60 OTHER, IN OVIEDO 18 ANIMAL LICKED FOR ITS 55 HEED Jan 19 Feb 18 March 20 61 “PET” THAT NEEDS A LOT BUFOTOXINS 56 RIVER TO THE CASPIAN Looking up, you’ll real- You’ll begin seeing things The stars thank you for OF WATER 20 ADD TO THE CONCOCTION 57 300, TO TIBERIUS ize The Big Dipper and in a new way, only to lose not eating all the nacho 62 B.A.’S GROUP, WITH “THE” 23 “LET’S SEE SOME SPIRIT!” 58 “I’VE FIGURED IT OUT!” Saturn are speaking to your eyesight moments cheese dip at next week’s 63 APPEARANCE 24 PATH WHEN PLAYING CATCH 59 IT’S REALLY NOTHING you. It’s too bad you later in a drunken welding Super Bowl party. 64 PLACID 25 PRESENT A RIDDLE never paid attention in accident. 65 RULES OF PUNCTUATION, E.G. 28 “HERE’S ___ FROM ME TO YOU...” ©2006 Jonesin’ Crosswords Spanish class. 66 KIND OF RECORDING 29 TRIPS AROUND THE SUN ([email protected]) Look FORMAT: ABBR. 31 LITTLE BUZZER for the solution on pg 23 of this issue.

www.SpokaneSIDEKiCK.com Come on, you know you want it The Karaoke List: telling you where to fi nd (or avoid) Karaoke on any given night

SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY Big Foot Pub** - 9 pm Blue Dolphin** - 9 pm Big Foot Pub** - 9 pm Bolo’s** - 9 pm Big Al’s** - 9 pm Alpine (Valley)** - 8 pm Alpine (Valley)** - 8 pm Blue Dolphin** - 9 pm Bluz at the Bend** - 9 pm Blue Dolphin** - 9 pm Cafe Americana** - 9 pm Bolo’s - 8 pm Bayou Bar** - 9 pm Big Daddy’s** - 10 pm Cafe Americana** - 9 pm Bolo’s** - 9 pm Bolo’s** - 9 pm Casey’s** - 9 pm (all ages till 9) Big Daddy’s** - 10 pm Brass Faucet** - 8 pm Jackson Hole II** - 9 pm Cafe Americana** - 9 pm Cafe Americana** - 9 pm Dempsey’s** - 8 pm Cafe Americana** - 9 pm Brass Faucet** - 8 pm Cafe Americana** - 9 pm Pear Tree Inn** - 7:30 pm Dempsey’s** - 8 pm Merq, The** - 9 pm Fizzie Mulligan’s** - 10 pm Casey’s** - 9 pm Casey’s** - 9 pm Cafe Donna** - 8 pm Peking North** - 9 pm Jackson Hole II** - 9 pm (with Diane) Goodtymes Bar** - 9 pm Hedge House** - 8 pm Cafe Donna** - 8 pm Casey’s** - 9 pm Matthew’s** - 8 pm Peking North** - 9 pm Peking North** - 9 pm Hedge House** - 8 pm Jackson Hole II** - 9 pm Jackson Hole II** - 9 pm Charlie’s** - 9:30 pm Merq, The** - 9 pm Ripley’s Plantation** - 7 pm PJ’s Pub** - 9 pm Lone Cactus** - 8 pm Matthew’s** - 8 pm Kay Lon Gardens** - 9 pm Jackson Hole II** - 9 pm Slab Inn** - 9 pm Slab Inn** - 9 pm Slab Inn** - 9 pm Mr G’s B&G ** - 7 pm McQ’s** - 9 pm Matthew’s** - 8 pm Kay Lon Gardens** - 9 pm Star, The** - 9 pm Star, The** - 9 pm Star, The** - 9 pm Peking North** - 9 pm Merq, The** - 9 pm Parker’s** - 9 pm Lone Cactus** - 8 pm Studio K Bar** - 9 pm Volcano’s** - 9 pm Sweet Ole Bob’s** - 8 pm PJ’s Pub** - 9 pm Peking North** - 9 pm Pear Tree Inn** -9 pm Matthew’s** - 8 pm Volcano’s** - 9 pm Thumpers Bar** - 9 pm Slab Inn** - 9 pm PJ’s Pub** - 9 pm (2nd Friday of Month Only) Pear Tree Inn** - 9 pm Volcano’s** - 9 pm Star, The** - 9 pm Puerto Vallarta** - 9 pm Peking Garden** - 8 pm PJ’s Pub** - 9 pm ** = 21 and over only Studio K Bar** - 9 pm Raw Sushi - 9 pm Peking Palace** - 9 pm Puerto Vallarta** - 9 pm Szechuan Rest.** - 8 pm Slab Inn** - 9 pm PJ’s Pub** - 9 pm Spitfi re B&G** - 9 pm Thumpers Bar** - 9 pm Star, The** - 9 pm Puerto Vallarta** - 9 pm Statz Blue Keg** - 8 pm Volcano’s** - 9 pm Studio K Bar** - 9 pm Statz Blue Keg** - 8 pm Studio K Bar** - 9 pm Do you know of a place that has karaoke and isn’t Sweet Ole Bob’s** - 8 pm Studio K Bar** - 9 pm Sweet Ole Bob’s** - 8 pm on this list? Then why haven’t you told us? Is there Szechuan Rest.** - 8 pm Sweet Ole Bob’s** - 8 pm Szechuan Rest.** - 8 pm something wrong with you? Email us immediately at Volcano’s** - 9 pm Szechuan Rest.** - 8 pm Yardley Bar** - 8 pm [email protected] so we can fi x our list! Yardley Bar** - 8 pm

Page 14 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK RAMBLINGS SStonertoner hhumor,umor, hhomemadeomemade ssigns,igns, aandnd ggivingiving tthehe WWhitehite HHouseouse tthehe fingerfinger ((sortsort oof)f)

immediately ostracizes protestors to the mar- to this murderous war!” I understand that, change somebody’s mind. Because glancing gins. Th e only positive responses you’re going if you feel strongly about the injustice of out the driver’s side window, reading a sign to garner are from people that agreed with the war, then you want to express outrage that says “No War for Oil” doesn’t make me By Brian Clark you in the fi rst place. Anybody oppositional and simultaneously show support for like- reevaluate my stance on anything, it just to your stance is going to have a knee/jerk minded individuals. But a rally of this type makes me realize that, despite their recent One of my favorite Mitch Hedberg jokes reaction of disapproval where they might is purely symbolic, it’s not going to sway victories, the left is disorganized, clueless, goes, “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know shake their head in disgust, but they’re sure public policy, it’s not going to infl uence and absolutely screwed. how to show it.” Mostly that’s funny just as hell not going to reevaluate their stance any verdict and it’s probably not going to Th ere’s not enough conversation as it is because it is, but I also empathize with him. on anything. Th ere’s no dialogue and no real change anyone’s mind about anything, be- with political and sociological issues, and pick- I’ve long felt that protesting is a largely inef- attempt at conversion or conversation when sides maybe a redneck contemplating what eting certainly doesn’t bring that element into fective tool that’s counterproductive and an you’re simply standing on a street corner or exactly constitutes vehicular manslaughter the equation. Until there is a revolution of almost selfi sh copout to voice your disagree- on the sidewalk in front of a courthouse. At in this day and age. I guess I’m just not clear the act of listening and respecting dissenting ment with a certain point of contention. best, this sort of action serves as a nice, on- what people are hoping to accomplish. opinions, there’s going to continue to be a lot When’s the last time that anyone, the-record “fuck you” to the White House. To be fair, I’m probably being too hard of shouting and very little coming out of it. † anywhere, saw a bunch of people picketing, And maybe that’s OK; I mean at least on anyone who organizes or participates in Letters from the Radical Middle is a marching or protesting a given issue and these people are getting involved. I just want rallies of this sort, as almost any sort of par- bi-weekly column that encourages discussion had their opinion swayed because of it? Se- you to understand that, if you take part in ticipation is better than the apathy that con- over pointless bickering, favoring common riously, I never saw the issue quite the same this sort of demonstration, then you’re voic- sumes most of us. But it seems to me that a sense and a logical middle ground over blind way as when I read an “Impeach Bush” sign ing your opinion, yes, but that voice is going better way to voice opposition is to try and political devotion. Brian Clark is the Manag- while blasting through a busy intersection to fall almost entirely on deaf ears. bring about change without reverting to ing Editor of the Spokane Sidekick and can on the way to meet my friends at Hooters. Th is column was brought about by an reactionary demonstrations that are only go- be reached at [email protected]. As A change of heart like this has probably oc- email we received in conjunction with a ing to polarize the issue, not work to close always, feedback is encouraged. curred before but, if it has, I’m completely rally to support Ehren Watada, a lieutenant the gap. Organize open forums with cordial unaware of it. Protesting, in my opinion, is in the U.S. Army who refused to deploy discourse, petition politicians to clarify their If you think I’m totally full of shit and want largely reactionary and accomplishes almost to Iraq on grounds that the war is illegal stance and maybe try to get a resolution on to take part in the rally for Lt. Watada any- nothing. I admire that people involve them- and he would therefore be party to war a local ballot to offi cially denounce the war way, it will be held in front of the Recruiting selves in the democratic process and exercise crimes. Th e email, sent from the Peace and with something that could have legal ramifi - Offi ce on Indiana (near the Krispy Kreme) in the Spokane Valley at noon on Saturday, their voice, but this doesn’t seem like the Justice Action League of Spokane (PJALS), cations, write a letter to the editor of a given February 3rd. Check out www.pjals.net, or best way to go about it. read, “Let’s send a message for and from newspaper that calmly and respectfully il- call (509) 838-7870 for more info. Protesting, no matter the intention, Spokane in support of Watada’s opposition luminates a point in a way that might truly

Echoes Taking the fi rst steps towards the oval offi ce from the will there be a presidential campaign that national fi gures– beyond maybe President the next national election – should either OTHER contains no incumbent president or vice George W. Bush himself. Obama, on the be able to ascertain the party’s nomination. president (President Truman dropped out in other hand, travels light but has yet to Unfortunately, for them, both will face seri- Washington 52’ after loosing early in the New Hamp- stake out clear positions on many divisive ous obstacles in the primaries. shire primary). issues, and critics have claimed his lack of McCain, seen as a former maverick and By M.W. Fritz Pundits are calling the fi eld wide-open, experience, along with frank admissions of anti-establishment bridge burner, is now and a slew of candidates have already thrown cocaine use during his youth, could eventu- the most notable backer of the president’s Make sure your tray tables are up, your their hat in the fray, with more expected to ally curb his momentum. new surge proposal. Th e former Vietnam seats placed in their full upright position join the menagerie in the near future. Each Th e second tier Democrats are begin- P.O.W. has called for an escalation in Iraq and your safety belts securely fastened. For party has a few stars and a host of role players ning to feel crowded, while trying to fi nd and massive troop increases for the last the captain has advised that we may be positioning themselves for a run. any distinguished niche vis-à-vis Obama couple of years. Th e senator’s aspirations experiencing heavy turbulence ahead. Th e candidate de jour for the Demo- and Clinton. Former Sen. John Edwards could easily go up in fl ames, if Baghdad Only two months after the midterm crats, and Oprah, is Sen. Barack Obama – Sen. John Kerry’s running mate in 2004 continues to do the same. elections, the capital is already abuzz over from Illinois. On Jan. 16, Obama, a fi rst – is probably the most notable of this gang. Giuliani remains hugely popular the next electoral date: November 4, 2008. term senator who was never forced to vote C-Span all-stars like Sen. Christopher amongst Americans in opinion polls. Th is Th e fi rst Tuesday of November ’08 has been yea or nay on Iraq, formed an exploratory Dodd of Connecticut, Sen. Joseph Biden of is largely because of the courage he showed highlighted, the contenders and pretenders committee. According to the Federal Elec- Delaware, Gov. Tom Vilsack of Iowa, and following the World Trade Center attacks are now emerging, and the battle lines have tion Commission, there is no diff erence Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio have each (standing at Ground Zero), while the nation carefully been chalked. between an exploratory committee and a announced their intentions to run. was unsure as to where the president or the Th e next election will be the fi let of presidential campaign committee. How- Aspiring Republicans also fi nd them- vice president were – fl ying aimlessly in Air elections. With all the marbles in play. An ever, Obama has yet to offi cially announce selves traversing a treacherous political Force One and in a secure bunker. unpopular tenant lives in the White House, his candidacy. landscape full of IED’s. Th e party faced However, Giuliani is considered far too some new kids on the block hold whisper- Obama’s chief rival for the nomina- sweeping losses in the midterms because liberal on social issues for most Republicans’ thin majorities in Congress, two Supreme tion, of course, is Sen. Hillary Clinton (D., of corruption and the public’s ever-sour- liking. He is pro-abortion, pro-affi rmative Court Justices are nearing retirement and the N.Y.). Most experts tap the former fi rst lady ing mood toward what is becoming the action, pro-gay unions (not marriage but nation is at war halfway around the globe. as the Democratic frontrunner for reasons president’s war. still considered icky by the party), in favor For the fi rst time since 1952, there will that include her foreign policy expertise and Sen. John McCain of Arizona and of gun control and against school prayer. not be an incumbent president or incum- her proximity to the nation’s top political “America’s Mayor,” Rudolph Giuliani, are Th e second tier of Republicans includes bent vice president on a party’s fi nal ticket. consultant. Her husband. considered to be the most viable contend- And not since 1928 when Calvin Coolidge Mrs. Clinton carries plenty of baggage, ers. McCain’s credentials and Giuliani’s decided to retire rather seek re-election, though, and is one of the most polarizing charisma could make them locks to win See 2008 Election: pg. 17 Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 15 SPORTS Around the Chiefs return home after 17-day layoff World By Robert Th ornley Hill span, with the Calgary Hitmen coming to town on Friday, February 2nd and the Tri-City Americans entering the Arena in 80 After a nine day, seven game road trip through the Ca- the following night. Promotions for the games include a nadian praries, the Spokane Chiefs return home to face the player magnet giveaway night on Wednesday, a Super Bowl Plays Bruins from the excellently named British Columbia weekend kickoff on Friday, and a cheerstix giveaway on Quick hits from the town of Chilliwack on Wednesday, January 31st. Saturday. As of press time, the Chiefs sat in fourth Following this three day homestand, Spokane will face sports world place in the CHL’s fi ve team U.S. Division the Seattle Th underbirds on consecutive nights, heading (bummer). Th e Everett Silvertips have to the rainy city on Tuesday, February 6th before By Brian Clark built a formidable lead with a returning to Spokane for a repeat performance 36-7 mark, while only three the following night. As a guy who lived in the UK for a little while points separate second and Th e puck drops at 6:30 p.m. for these up- and was required, by law, to follow European fourth place, with Spokane coming home games at Th e Arena, 720 W. football, I can’t tell you how big of a disaster it’s edged out by the Seattle Mallon. Tickets range from $8 to $15 and going to be for David Beckham to leave Real Th underbirds and Tri-City are available through TicketsWest outlets Madrid for the LA Galaxy which, if you haven’t Americans. Th e Chiefs have (see page 13), on www.ticketswest.com, or heard, he’s scheduled to do at the beginning of been marked by good goalie by calling the Chiefs Offi ce at (509) 535- next season. He’s going from the most stacked play so far this season, with PUCK. Th ere are a number of diff erent ticket soccer team in the world (for awhile there he was Kevin Armstrong and rookie options available, including group discounts playing with Zenedine Zidane, Roberto Carlos Dustin Tokarski boasting two of and mini-packages. For more information, and Luis Figo, amongst others) to a team that has the best save percentages in the league. visit www.spokanechiefs.com. † nobody. Considering that Beckham only thrives Th e largest Spokane crowd of the season on free kicks and setting up his teammates, this turned out for the Chiefs last home game at probably isn’t the best fi t. He obviously has some Th e Arena, with 9,231 fans witnessing Spo- sort of goal to transform the MLS into a world kane’s come-from-behind win over the Americans, class soccer league, or at least make the sport as they scored both of their goals in the last ten respectable in the U.S., but it just isn’t going to minutes of play for an exciting 2-1 victory. happen. Soccer is never going to be embraced in Th e Chilliwack game on the last day of January America for a variety of reasons that include a bit will be the fi rst of three home games in a four day of xenophobia and jingoism, perhaps, but more it’s just that we like clear rules, despise fl opping, prefer scoring over strategy, and there simply isn’t Celebrating Super Bowl Sunday in Spokane enough room for another athletic passion on the level that baseball, football, basketball and, to a By Brian Clark night for two at Th e Davenport Hotel. For more, call 242-7000. lesser extent, hockey are celebrated nationwide. I Th ere’s no cover to attend and, if you’re Finally (at least as far as our subjec- mean Pele couldn’t even bring full soccer accep- Th ough this certainly isn’t an hungry, they’re also off ering a seafood tive little cataloguing is concerned) tance to the U.S. and he’s Pele for Chrissake! Th is exhaustive list, the following are a few and/or prime rib special. Call 327-0448 McQs Billiards and Sports Bar is is just going to be a huge debacle; I’m already Super Bowl parties around town that for more information. kicking off the festivities early with a excited to watch it unfold … were brought to our attention. Watch Northern Quest Casino in Airway free pool tournament that morning I’m also excited about the deal the Pac 10 and the Bears get absolutely dismantled Heights is getting in on which will see the winner Big 12 recently struck up, where the two confer- by the Colts – I mean, c’mon, Rex the action with an insane walk away with a cool $100. ences will play a dozen college basketball games Grossman is not going to win a Super amount of drawings During the game, drink every season for at least the next four years (starting Bowl – while drinking heavily at a fi ne throughout the game, and food specials will be in 2007-2008), mostly within a four day window. Spokane establishment. culminating with them available – including a I always wondered why the ACC/Big 10 Challenge Working Class Heroes, at 1914 N. giving away a fl at screen $7.99 prime rib dinner was the only event like this in college basketball. Monroe, gets the party started early, TV, recliner and home – and prizes will be raf- Th ese sorts of fi xtures are exciting to watch, allow with festivities kicking off at noon. Tim entertainment center. Food and drinks fl ed away – including a big screen TV). you to gauge the talent levels within conferences Luker will be providing live entertain- will be available throughout the con- McQs can be found at 9614 E. Sprague beyond mere speculation and put an emphasis on ment in the vein of acoustic rock before test, of course, with tickets available for in Spokane Valley. For more informa- the two battling conferences for a couple of weeks. and after the game, as well as halftime. $20 for Club members and $25 for the tion, call 891-8357. Or, as the Super What’s not to like? Next year will be highlighted Drinks will be set at happy hour prices general public. Northern Quest can be Bowl gets closer, check in periodically by Washington at Oklahoma State, Texas at UCLA with an ongoing raffl e where numerous found near the intersection of S. Hay- with www.spokanesidekick.com for and Arizona at Kansas. Th is was a good move prizes will be given away, including a ford and Sprague in Airway Heights. additional parties and info. † for both conferences – they’re the most logical candidates for such a showdown – and it’s probably good for college basketball in general … Discordianism Founded: 1959 In this column back in November, when it was Basic Idea: Man has been on a bad trip for a long time because Worldwide Members: Unverifi ed. Prob- still fashionable to belittle Peyton Manning’s play- of our love affair with all things related to order. As Malcalypse ably not very many, although Discordian off prowess (or lack therof), I prophesized, “Let the Younger (a.k.a. Greg Hill) wrote in the seminal Discordian founders acknowledge that all it takes me just put in writing that I think this will be the text, Principia Discordia, “To choose order over disorder, or to be a member is to “declare yourself year the Indianapolis Colts fi nally win the Super disorder over order, is to accept a trip composed of both the what you wish, do what you like, and tell Bowl.” We’re going to forget about the last issue creative and the destructive. But to choose the creative over the us about it. Or, if you prefer, don’t.” So maybe destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both order and everybody’s a Discordian and doesn’t even know it. where I shifted all my chips to bet on the Balti- disorder.” Worship, as such, is centered around Eris, the Greek more Ravens and instead pretend that I’m a wise goddess of Chaos, a veritable troublemaker who, though “not Other Chaos-Based Religions: Church of the SubGenius, some analyst who knows what the hell he’s talking about. hateful or malicious, is mischievous, and does get a little bitchy neopagan sects, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the (We might want to forget that Minnesota Twins at times.” Discordianism has the added benefi t of being knee- SiDEKiCK offi ce World Series prediction while we’re at it) ... † slappingly hilarious.

Page 16 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK RAMBLINGS A Near Perfect Article* *And by “near” we mean “far from” and by “perfect” we mean “good”

By Nick or soon to be developed nature. Example: LIFE Lambert that scenic drive from Spokane to Moses Lake. However, I do believe that we have IN THE So, I’m not sure nature in Spokane. Just look at all the grass if I like the fact that growing through the sidewalks. Th at, to I live in a mediocre me, is clear evidence that nature is among ‘KAN city. Honestly, I always us. We also have Riverfront Park, a place thought Spokane was known to have bouts of nature, and we slightly-above-average. have Manito Park, a park of 100% natural Apparently, I’m stupid. nature. (Amazing how that Japanese garden Th e city, through clever sprouted up inside that walled off area). ad placement, has informed me numerous Now onto the second, and most con- times over the last few months that Spo- troversial half: “Near Perfect.” According kane is merely “Near Nature, Near Perfect.” to a commercial I saw stating why people Why? Why do I have to live in a city should come to Spokane, I was told that that’s near a lot of things but nothing I if you are in a relationship (wife, husband, want is actually here? It’s like saying, “Iraq: boyfriend, girlfriend, boss, H&R Block Near an Ocean, Near a Terrorist Cell.” It consultant, animal) that is not going so states true facts, but is that really what you well, then Spokane is the place to be, a want to advertise yourself as? nearly (but not quite) perfect place to be. “Hey hon; you know how you wanted But, what if you’re already in Spokane? to do some international traveling? Well, Th en what? Well, lucky for you, it is near check out this new Iraq slogan.” impossible to be in anything less than a I feel Spokane needs to raise its self-es- near perfect relationship in Spokane. Look teem. Look at all the great things happen- at all the near perfect things for couples to ing in Spokane that could easily be incor- do in Spokane, such as see a movie, go to a porated into a better, yet not-too-cocky, bar, see another movie, greet some pan- slogan. Here are some examples: “Spokane: handlers, see a movie, pay $57 for parking. Home of a near Olympic event,” or how As you can now see, “Near Nature, Near about something that really describes the Perfect,” actually is a nearly perfect way of city itself, “Spokane: Near fi xed roads, Near describing Spokane. Almost as near as I am completed North-South Freeway.” to believing it. † Now, I know those are a little harsh, Life in the ‘Kan is a brand new column by (and by “harsh” I mean “true”) but let’s take the fi rst person involved with the SiDEKiCK a detailed look at the truths of the offi cial to possess a journalism degree. Expect the same saying: “Near Nature, Near Perfect.” level of unprofessionalism as usual, though, as Th e fi rst part, “Near Nature,” is true. Nick rambles about whatever the hell he feels We are defi nitely near lots and lots of dead like relating to living in Spokane. 2008 Election: Cont. from page 15 Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas, former an already apathetic electorate could fall Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and under a severe spell of ennui. Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado. Scott Reed, Bob Dole’s 96’ presidential Brownback, a born-again Christian candidacy manager, told the Wall Street who woos evangelicals but few others, Journal that the entire timetable has moved made a surprise move last week by step- up two or three months, “as candidates ping out of lock and blasting the presi- struggle to get out there and defi ne their dent’s surge proposal. piece of the pie.” Reed added that it’s too Romney is a centrist Republican that soon for voters to focus on 2008, “Every- found a way to get elected governor in the one is still dealing with 2006 fatigue.” bluest state our union has to off er. But But in this city, elections are a round- Romney is a Mormon. And American vot- the-clock business where positioning, ers, whose intelligence tends to run parallel planning and politicking for a bigger offi ce, to their acceptance of diversity, are unsure with a better view, never stops. It seems of how they feel about those wife-gatherers the madness has just begun. And we’re still from Utah. It’s unfair, but Romney’s Mor- weeks from March. † monism will probably be an issue. M.W. Fritz is a freelance journalist based Finally, Tancredo is a one-trick pony. out of Washington D.C. Every issue, he Th e xenophobic congressman from Colo- provides the SiDEKiCK with an exclusive po- rado admitted he has little chance of win- litical commentary from our nation’s capital, ning, but that he is hoping to force more bringing all the respectability and profession- prominent candidates to take harder lines alism of this paper (not much) to a completely against illegal immigration. subjective and often ridiculous analysis of Th e risk each of these candidates has in our governing body. He can be reached at declaring their intentions this early is that [email protected].

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 17 FOOD How TThehe MMainain DDish:ish: to Eat out on a College FFrank’srank’s DDineriner Budget By A.W. Rowse

Going out can be expensive, but if you do Frank’s Diner has a large reputation to it right you can eat and drink every night of the live up to. According to the large banner week and still have money for rent. Below is that hangs on the train-car shaped restau- a list of suggestions of where to get unbeliev- rant, Frank’s has been voted “Best Breakfast able deals nearly every day of the week. If you in Spokane” (by the Inlander readers) for know of an awesome weekly special that isn’t listed below email us at info@spokanesidekick. 11 out of the last 12 years. Th ose are some com. We are always open to suggestions. large shoes to fi ll. Having driven by the diner a million times without ever stopping Everyday in, I decided to go investigate the hype. Most of the fun of the restaurant is the Little Bennies: building, er, train-car itself. Built at the Weekly Special - Western Sandwich, Fries turn of the last century, the car was used Hobo Scrambler - $8.99 and a drink for $6.29. For more information for years as the personal car of the Presi- call (509) 926-6188. Brian Says: dent of the Pacifi c Railroad (I think I just I pretty much agree with Andy, er ... sorry “A.W.” (What a wanker.) My biscuits and David’s Pizza: confused a Monopoly railroad with a real gravy were perfectly decent but nothing to write home about. That said, eating in an old $1 slices of Cheese Pizza from 2 - 5 p.m. train car is fun for the whole family, and I’ll defi nitely return. Just for the record, my favorite For more information call (509) 483-7460. one but I don’t think anyone is really pay- ing that much attention). While the thing breakfast in town can be found at Bolo’s Bar & Grill in the Valley, which serves reassuringly is tiny, the gigantic open windows kept me greasy and simply phenomenal food, with portions the size of your head. Sunday from feeling claustrophobic. One of the key requirements for a diner would expect to fi nd on a breakfast menu. United States. Blue Spark: is that your food must be cooked in front Th ey had the staples – pancakes, waffl es, While the food was good at best, Frank’s Kill the Keg Night - $1 pints until the beer is gone. For more info call (509) 838-5787. of you – Frank’s was no exception. Due to eggs, hash browns, scramblers – which is atmosphere is a standout winner. Th e close the lack of space, the kitchen was crammed all the options I really want for breakfast. quarters gave it a communal feel as I sat at behind the diner counter yet somehow the I ordered the amusingly named Hobo the counter literally rubbing elbows with Tuesday cooks were able to crank out hash browns Scrambler, which was a jambalaya of eggs, other diners. I would bring people back The Blvd: like a vegetable oiled machine. Th e other sausage, cheddar cheese, tomato, peppers, to Frank’s just for that authentic experi- $2 pint night. Enough said. For more informa- benefi t of sitting in front of the grill is that and onion served with hash browns and ence. As far as being “Th e Best Breakfast in tion call (509) 455-7826. the heat radiates off of it and keeps you nice toast. It did the job but didn’t inspire me Spokane,” I’ve had better. and toasty in the winter (granted that this to launch fi reworks in celebration. Th e Franks is located at 1516 W 2nd Ave Wednesday might cause a problem in the summer time). food tasted like the same meal I’ve had just off of Maple Street. For more informa- The Blvd: Frank’s menu contained everything I a million times at restaurants across the tion call (509) 747-8798. 50-cent beer night. Enough said. For more information call (509) 455-7826. The Blue Spark: $10 Bucket Night. Five bottles of beer (do- mestics & corona) in a bucket for only $10. TThehe BBackack BBurner:urner: MMolly’solly’s RRestaurantestaurant For more information call (509) 838-5787. By Katie Shampeny smothered in Swiss cheese. I also requested peppers, because I’m a pepper fanatic. Th e Thursday Mmmm, breakfast, probably my favor- Homebrowns were delicious chunks of Brooklyn Nights: ite meal of the day. Th at is, when I actually russet potatoes fried up with more peppers Customer Appreciation Night - $3 for a cup have time to make a good one. Weekends and onions. Th e whole thing was absolute- of tomato parmesean soup and 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich. Also, PBR is $1. For more seem to be the time of the really great ly awesome! Th ey use some of the freshest info call (509) 835-4177. breakfast. But let’s be honest. Most of the ingredients I’ve ever seen in a restaurant. time, due to the events of the night before, Th ese were no frozen hash browns or you’re simply not motivated enough to mushrooms out of a can. Th ey were obvi- Attention Mac Users! make one of those amazing breakfasts we ously chopped fresh in house, which makes all dream about. So this issue we decided to you feel a little better about stuffi ng your eat, I mean review, breakfast. face with something smothered in cheese. 4(%30/+!.% 3I$%+I#+ Events for Today Molly’s is not necessarily a back burner Besides the fact that the breakfast was Music due to its location. It’s actually right in amazing, it was also reasonably priced, and Live Music downtown Spokane. However, it’s one of did I mention huge? So for those budget 3:00 PM Dog House Blues @ Mr G's Bar & Grill those places that you’ve probably driven conscious college students out there, unless 3:00 PM Spokane String Quartet, Ravel Western Omelet - $7.95 by a million times and said to yourself, you’re 6’5” and eat everything in sight, @ Met, The 7:30 PM Fear Factory w/ Suffocation, “What the hell is that thing on the sign?” you’ll probably have enough leftovers for Hypocrisy, Decapitated @ Big Easy Concert House Andy Says: After thinking this ourselves several times one if not two more breakfasts. Oh and 9:00 PM Cary Fly Band Not only did I get to enjoy my breakfast (it looks like a cat-skunk-dog), we fi nally by the way, we found out about the thing once, I literally ate it for the next three noticed the sign saying ‘Best Breakfasts in on the sign. Th e cat-skunk-dog is actually The SiDEKiCK Widget mornings. My only problem with the place Town.’ We pulled in to determine if the Molly, the restaurants name sake, and she’s is the Rat/Skunk/Dog. Even though I claim was true. actually the cutest little dog you’ve ever Available only at know the food is good, I still have a hard time eating at a place with such an ugly I had the Western Omelet and Home- seen. So go check out Molly’s the morning www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com sign. What can I say, I’m a graphics snob. browns O’Brien style. Th e omelet came after your next weekend excursion, you with mushrooms, bacon, and onions won’t regret it. Page 18 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK COMEDY

Restaurantaradise

Blue Man Group combines music, theatre and comedy in extravagant package By Robert Th ornley Hill Th eir current tour is called How to be a Megastar Tour 2.0, complete with Blue Man Group has ascended from a tongue-in-cheek “how to” manual on playing New York City street corners in the becoming a rock star as Blue Man Group, 80s to becoming an instantly recognizable with a stellar eight-piece backing band, takes force in pop culture. On Tuesday, Febru- you step-by-step and song-by-song through ary 6th they’ll be making their way to the the arena concert experience, complete with Inland Northwest for a lavish production hi-tech audience interaction. at the Spokane Arena. Anybody not familiar with Blue Man Blue Man Group puts on an unforget- Group probably doesn’t get out much (and table live performance that mixes highly certainly doesn’t watch television). Th ey’ve percussive and, shall we say, resourceful been featured routinely on late night talk rock music (incorporating the playing of shows, commercials for everything from PVC tubes and other seemingly innocuous watches to phone companies, as well as sit- “instruments”) as well as family-friendly coms (such as Arrested Development and humor, satire, audience participation, a Scrubs) and have even been animated by variety of props, confetti canons and a the likes of Th e Simpsons’ cartoonists, and sophisticated lighting scheme. A crossover others. Most recently, they’ve opened up a of styles, to be sure, this article could just couple of shows in Germany and released have easily been placed in our music or some children’s instruments that incorpo- theatre sections. rate their unique musical approach. Pretty much anything seems fair game More geographically and temporally to as far as Chris Wink, Matt Goldman and the point, Blue Man Group will be in Spo- Phil Stanton – who collectively make up kane on Tuesday, February 6th at 7:30 p.m. Blue Man Group – are concerned. Th ey’ll at Th e Spokane Veterans Memorial Arena, stop to ridicule latecomers and shower 720 W. Mallon. Tickets are $49.50 or $85 the approximate audience with anything (the latter of which might also land you in Treat your Angel to a at their disposal. Th e explosion of para- the complimentary poncho section!), on phernalia is so ubiquitous that audience sale now through www.ticketswest.com, by members in the fi rst couple rows are given calling 1-800-325-SEAT, or through any aradise ponchos to defl ect the paint, paper, food of the TicketsWest outlets around Spokane slice of ... and other substances that fl y through the (see the calendar spread for a list). For air at a Blue Man Group performance. more information visit www.spokanearena. Basically, it’s like seeing Gallagher, only com or Blue Man Group’s offi cial website this Valentine s Day! entertaining and there’s good music. at www.blueman.com. † Fellowship of Isis
Spokane’s Finest Heavenly Cuisine  Basic idea: Followers worship the Egyptian deity Isis, who has been described by leaders as “God in female form.” Members stress the feminine components of a number of worldwide 226 W. Riverside Ave Call for Reservations religions, and therefore making the Fellowship of Isis Rush Limbaugh’s worst nightmare. Founded: 1976 Downtown, Spokane (509) 998-5517 Worldwide members: Approximately 24,000 (509) 747-5620 Other religions that draw heavily from Egyptian mythology: Setianism, some Wicca sects, Noble Order of Tara “Spokane’s Newest Restaurant”

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 19 THEATRE Agnes of God winds down on Spartan Theatre stage Th ere are still a couple more chances to see the fi rst show of the year at the Actors Rep Driving Th eatre, as the dramatic thriller Agnes of God stays on the Spartan Th eatre stage for two Miss Daisy more nights, closing out its run on Saturday, January 27th. Agnes of God revolves around a mysterious revived at birth at the hands of a nun who insists that the child was immaculately conceived. Combining Interplayers overarching themes of mystery, religion and psychological thriller with elements of murder, By Brian Clark sacrifi ce and faith vs. reason, the result is an Photos by unabashedly theatrical production that sees the Bob Zeller secular reasoning of a psychiatrist clashing with the fundamental conviction of the convent’s in- Interplayers Ensemble Th eatre has offi cially kicked off February 3rd. Show dates are every Wednesday and Th ursday habitants. Th e play was written in the early 80s their 2007 campaign with Alfred Uhry’s Driving Ms. Daisy, at 7:30 p.m. and Friday through Sunday at 8 p.m., with an by John Pielmeier and had a successful run on the popular story of a black chaff eur driving a Jewish woman additional Sunday matinee at 2. Tickets are $15 for matinees, Broadway and in London, in addition to a 1985 around in the Deep South as they strike up an unlikely $17 for Wednesday and Th ursday evenings and $21 for Friday Academy Award-nominated fi lm adaptation friendship during the racially tumultuous period scanning the and Saturday night showings, with senior starring Jane Fonda and Anne Bancroft that saw late 40s to the early 70s. discounts between $2 and $3 per ticket and the story reach an even larger audience. Th e play, written in 1987, is part of student tickets available for an even $10 across Agnes of God’s stint in Spokane opened in Uhry’s Atlanta Trilogy, a trio of plays exam- the board. (On the subject, we were mid-January and, though the majority of the ining the relationships within the Jewish way off on these prices last issue and performances have come and gone, there are a population of Atlanta, Georgia. Th e origi- apologize thoroughly for the mixup.) pair of shows left at 8 p.m. on Friday, January nal off -broadway production starred Mor- Tickets can be purchased through 26th and Saturday, January 27th. Tickets for gan Freeman in the chauff eur role, a role he ticketswest.com and their various these primetime evening performances run $20, reprised for the 1989 fi lm of the same name outlets (see page 14), or through with student discounts set at $10 and seniors that’s probably the most identifi able outlet the Interplayers box offi ce at (509) getting in for $18. Th e Actors Rep Spartan of this story for the majority of people. 455-PLAY. Th e playhouse is located Th eatre can be found at 3410 West Fort George Driving Miss Daisy opened a couple weeks at 174 S. Howard in downtown Wright Drive, on the campus of Spokane Com- ago, but there are still several opportunites to Spokane. For more information, munity College. For more information, ARt see the play before it closes up shop on Sunday, visit www.interplayers.com. † has an eff ective and easy to navigate website at www.actorsreptheatre.com. †

Blue Door adds game show Neil Simon comedy and satirical musical fl air to improv performances Th e Blue Door Th eatre is encorporating split time at Spokane Civic Theatre game show elements into their alternating, themed, Friday night shows with Choose to By Robert the depicted event. Lyrics and Lose, a semi-competitive, quasi-theatrical Th ornley Hill music was written by Stephen synthesis that will see two of the night’s at- Sondheim, one of the most tendees squaring off amidst improv sketches in Th e Spokane Civic celebrated composers/writers an attempt to not score (or, at least, not score as Th eatre is hosting a pair in contemporary fi lm and much as the other guy). of theatrical productions theatre, as he posseses an Choose to Lose sees the contestants take turns over the coming days, Oscar, a Pulitzer and multiple picking from a pool of improvisers to compete as Neil Simon’s Barefoot Grammy and Tony awards. in a game. Each improviser will have a secret in the Park continues its Assassins opens on Friday, card that identifi es the game, points and/or Main Stage run while January 26th and runs through modifi ers, with the contestant given the option the satirical musical Sunday, February 18th. of swapping improvisers with their challenger, Assassins goes up on Both plays can be seen ev- hence the name “Choose to Lose”. the Firth J. Chew stage ery Th ursday through Sunday Th is game show/improvisational theatre starting January 26th. at the Spokane Civic Th eatre fusion kicked off on the fi rst Friday of the New Barefoot in the Park, which opened wife, both of whom have a diffi cult time (1020 N. Howard across from the Arena), Year, and continues through February 2nd, at in mid-January, will be on stage through adapting after the honeymoon. Basically, it with Th ursday night performances at 7:30, which time another theme will take over for Sunday, February 3rd. Th is, Simon’s earliest sounds a lot like Simon’s Th e Odd Couple, Friday and Saturday showings at 8 p.m., a month (see Blue Door’s ad on page 6 for a smash hit, was a Tony-nominated play only one of them has real boobs (as op- and a Sunday matinee at 2. (Note: there preview of their brand new weekend show in during its fi rst Broadway stint in 1963, posed to Jack Lemon’s man boobs). will not be a performance of Assassins on February, Safari Saturday’s). telling the story of newlyweds in New Assassins, meanwhile, is a sharp, witty Sunday, Feb. 3rd.) Th ese Friday night shows get underway at 8 York City’s Greenwich Village as they face and haunting musical that ties together Tickets for either show are set at $18, p.m. with the box offi ce opening an hour prior. a number of diffi culties in their marriage the likes of John Wilkes Booth, Lee with student and senior discounts ($12 Tickets are $8 for general admission and $6 and through their relationships with vari- Harvey Oswald and others through a and $15 respectively), available now from for children, students and seniors. (Or email us ous New Yorkers, especially their depressed string of songs and events that connects www.ticketswest.com, all TicketsWest out- if you want tickets and we’ll see what we can neighbor. the cast of rogues in a thought-provoking lets around town (see page 12 for a list), or do.) Th e Blue Door Th eatre is located at 815 Th e husband and wife team are com- and entertaining way. Th e eclectic musical by calling the Civic Th eatre Box Offi ce at W. Garland. For more information, visit their prised of an up-and-coming New York styles that weave in and out of the story (509) 325-2507. For more information, website at www.bluedoortheatre.com. † lawyer and his spontaneous, adventurous refl ect the popular music at the time of log onto www.spokanecivictheatre.com. †

Page 20 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK MiSC. BRiEFS

Dan Cummins Film Th e Garland Th eatre is hosting Spokane 0RESENTS Falls Community College’s International Film Festival 2007. Th is is the second year Dan Cummins SFCC has put on the festival, with a num- ber of fairly recent titles from all around the world screened every Wednesday, starting Saturday January 31st. An SFCC faculty member or staff will be on hand to moderate, with January SFCC students able to get in for free, stu- dents from other schools admitted for $2.50, 27th and the general public welcome for $5. ‘Featured Th e fi rst fi lm in the series will be Cache, at the 2 a French thriller starring Juliette Binoche, probably one of the three French actors Boston Comedy Shows Festival’ Comedy you’ve heard of. Th e following week, Only! Wednesday, February 7th will see a screen- Gonzaga graduate and burgeoning ing of Beautiful Boxer, a 2004 output comedian Dan Cummins is returning to from Th ailand that tells the story of a 7:30 Spokane for a pair of stand-up comedy kickboxing champion who undergoes a sex & performances on Saturday, January 27th. change operation. Undeniably the greatest comedian to ever Th e Garland Th eatre can be found at 10pm come out of Riggins, Idaho, Cummins 924 W. Garland. To see a full list of all as heard on blends topics ranging from the inane to the the fi lms screening over the course of the bizarre with a somewhat dark but still kind festival, log onto www.spokanesidekick. of wholesome comedic approach. He incor- com and click on Garland Th eatre in our porates guitar into some of his act, as well, venues listing. We’ve even linked all the singing about everything from Starbucks to fi lms to their trailers so you can preview Super Nintendo, and anything in between. the fi lm simply by clicking on its poster.  !VAILABLE Th is combination has proven extremely You’re welcome. † popular over the past couple years. Ac- cording to his admittedly biased but Community presumably factual website, “Within four Ed McMahon will fondly reminisce years of walking into a comedy club for about his years as co-host of Th e Tonight the fi rst time, Dan nearly won the Seattle Show with Johnny Carson on Friday, Janu- Comedy Competition, was featured on the ary 26th and Saturday the 27th at North- nationally syndicated Bob and Tom show ern Quest Casino in Airway Heights. fi ve times ... began opening up in theaters Succinctly and appropriately titled across the country for Larry the Cable Guy Memories of Th e Tonight Show, the 83 on his record breaking Right to Bare Arms year-old McMahon will regale his audienc- U.S. Comedy Tour, and performed at the es with untold, behind-the-scenes stories 2005 Montreal Comedy Festival, the most from his three decades as the straight man Alfredo prestigious comedy festival in the world.” to late night television legend Carson. He’ll Center Stage can be found 1017 W. 1st also show a variety of clips and outtakes Uhry Ave. in downtown Spokane. Th ere will be from Th e Tonight Show, with a lively, half two diff erent showtimes during Cummins hour question-and-answer session round- night in town, with the fi rst at 7:30 p.m. ing out the evening. and a followup at 10. Drink and cabaret Tickets are $45, available through www. service is available, and Center Stage has ticketswest.com, by visiting any of the Tick- recently introduced a valet parking service etsWest outlets around town (see page 12), on Friday and Saturday nights so you won’t or by calling the Northern Quest Box Offi ce even really have to battle the cold. For at (509) 340-6700. Showtime is 8:30 p.m., more information visit Dan’s website at restricted to ages 21+. For more informa- www.dancummins.tv. † tion, visit www.northernquest.com. †

Zoroastrianism (ghezundeit)

Basic idea: There is one uncreated Creator of us all (not exactly sure what that means) who will eventually prevail, causing the world to end. There are three basic stages of the Universe: creation, the present (where creation is under attack), and a fi nal state where the universe reverts to its pure state and souls trapped in darkness will be released. Founded: Nobody’s quite sure, though, incredibly, it could go JJan 18-Feb 3 back as far as the 18th century B.C. WED·THU 7:30PM FRI·SAT 8PM SAT·SUN 2PM

Worldwide members: Between 200,000 and 2.6 million, depending on who you ask. JAN 18 - FEB 3, 2007 TICKETS $10 - 21 INTERPLAYERS THEATRE INTERPLAYERS (509) 455-PLAY WWW.INTERPLAYERS.COM Other religions that are hard to pronounce: Manichaeism, burkhanism, Soka Gakkai 174 S HOWARD SPOKANE, WA International SPECIAL MLK DAY MATINEE JAN. 15

Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 21 FiLM Alpha Dog stuck in middle of the pack

By Brian Clark the characters are so unlikable – I mean just Alpha Dog completely deplorable – that there’s absolutely Shortly after leaving Alpha Dog, I real- no way to empathize with them in the slight- Director: Nick Cassavetes ized I hadn’t been as bummed out watch- est. I’m a fairly relatable 23 year-old yet I felt Starring: Justin ing a movie since probably Hotel Rwanda like some old dude on a porch, shaking my Timberlake, some whiny (although it’s worth noting that Babel would head and wondering, “Is this really what these dude that was in Lords be in the running if I even remotely cared kids are into these days?” of Dogtown, Bruce Willis, about it). Trying to be both a music video and By the way, there are some vicious rumors Sharon Stone a cautionary tale of sorts, Alpha Dog doesn’t circling that Alpha Dog boasts top-notch act- Rated: R really work on either level, and you just ing. Not so much; that’s my theory on that. I end up depressed as all get out. mean, you expect Justin Timberlake to suck so bummed out that she can only laugh Alpha Dog is based on the true story so when he’s decent basically just playing pathetically at her many attempted suicides.’ of Jesse James Hollywood (renamed a slightly more sadistic version of himself, Um … good move, Sharon. Johnny Truelove in the fi lm), a complete there’s a temptation to elevate him to some- She’s not the only one at fault here, wanker who wavers from acting like a thing he’s not. Th e young actors surrounding though; you can pretty much blame any- Mafi a boss to an inner city gangster. him run the complete gamut from virtually one you want involved with any aspect of Surrounded by sycophantic thugs of unwatchable (the square faced tough guy) to the fi lmmaking process. Th ey took a true one degree or another, they take a extraordinarily engaging (the strung out older story that was interesting only because the 15 year-old kid hostage because his brother of the hostage). Coupled with Bruce characters are fairly young, amplify the re- deadbeat brother owes them some Willis, who’s just terrible (almost entirely due ally depressing aspects, pepper it with some drug money, then have to deal with to the facet that he’s Bruce Willis) and you odd acting choices, throw in a truly bizarre the realization that, hey, maybe that get an ensemble cast that’s wholly mediocre, soundtrack (Eva Cassidy singing “Over wasn’t the best idea we’ve ever had. but is getting way too much credit for being the Rainbow” followed by four Tech N9ne I think what the fi lmmakers were better than it is. tracks?) and then shoot it as a cross between trying to do was show that living this Sharon Stone is in the movie as well, a music video and a morality play. Either the sort of selfi sh, music video lifestyle which is just weird. I’ve suspected she’s been fi lmmakers are too ambitious or not nearly has consequences, but they seem going crazy for awhile now (did you see her ambitious enough. Either way, as it plays off , wholly caught up in it them- at that Israeli Peace Conference where she Alpha Dog is largely stale, mostly unengaging, selves. Ultimately, that’s where I was promoting Basic Instinct 2? Wow) and and completely unrelatable. could never really get into the it’s clear now that my deepest suspicions have I think, ultimately, the main problem story. Th ere’s an abundance of been realized. It’s like she asked, ‘What’s the here is that I already knew acting like a pow- sex and drugs – in just about farthest thing from fl ashing my snatch that er-hungry, self-absorbed, gangster asshole every scene, actually – that, I I could do on fi lm? I know, I’ll put on a fat is asking for trouble. Whatever it is, there’s think, is supposed to suck you suit, look absolutely horrible on a digital almost nothing I’m going to take away from in a bit so, when everything camera – which is magnifi ed beyond necessity Alpha Dog. Frankly, I’ll be surprised if, six turns to shit, you’re indicted with shitty lighting – and play someone who’s months from now, I remember I ever saw it along with the characters. But strung out on everything this side of heroin, in the fi rst place. † Potential squandered in laughable Constantine By Watching Constan- that you can’t help but it’s suggested that the Nazis were in posses- Brian Clark tine, I was reminded get sucked in at least a sion of an ancient artifact that served as an of Pig Out in the little bit. Th e pacing is impetus for their evil deeds, thus completely By and large, I’ve never found traditional Park’s headliners Ten such that they man- ignoring human fallibility. Th ere’s really no horror movies all that frightening. However, Years After, specifi - age to keep tension religious investigation here at all. fi lms that grapple with important theological cally their 60s hit “I’d at a high in almost In the end, the moral crux of Constantine questions frighten me to an almost embar- Love to Change the every scene. Th at really actually seems more inline with Rambo rassing degree. As someone who has drifted World (But I Don’t shouldn’t be a diffi cult than any intelligent argument – something far, far away from my Catholic upbringing, Know What I’d Do).” task, though, consider- about kicking ass and taking names (with a movies that interrogates the not-so-subtle Because it dawned Constantine ing what’s at stake is side plot that smoking is bad for you. Who diff erences between heaven and hell, showing on me about a third nothing less than hell knew?) Whatever. If the fi lmmakers don’t Released: 2005 what’s in store if I’m wrong in my dissension, of the way through on Earth and Keanu care, why should I? But in this way, and Directed by: Francis Lawrence simply scare me silly. In that regard, Constan- the movie that my Reeves’ eternal soul. As many others, Constantine comes across as an Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel tine would have been such a fl ick if – and this one contribution to Arnold Schwarzenegger incongruous waste of potential. Weisz, Djimoun Hounsou is a big if – I didn’t spend the entire running humanity, if I had my proved with the com- Basically what this all ads up to is that Rated: R time laughing out loud at Keanu Reeves. druthers, would be to pletely unwatchable the subject matter of Constantine is fascinat- Reeves plays John Constantine, a pissed- prevent Keanu Reeves End of Days, however, ing while the fi lm itself certainly is not. As off exorcist and chain-smoking badass – and, while I’m at it, Dennis Quaid – from that’s not always as easy as it sounds. an exciting comic book fl ick, it’s not bad. whose function is to maintain Earth’s bal- ever making another fi lm. Ever. But I don’t want to give the fi lmmakers Under any other light, bad isn’t a strong ance between good and evil by deporting Outside of Reeves unspeakably terrible too much credit here. While the scale is epic, enough adjective. † overzealous demons back to hell. Rumor lead performance, this isn’t a bad fi lm. their handling of it is decidedly less so. At Th e Bottom Shelf is a SiDEKiCK feature has it the script is actually loosely based on Wait, yes it is. Th is is a legitimately bad times, they defend the necessity of faith and where we review an old, classic or cult fi lm Reeves real-life dealings with the devil since, movie, at least from the aspect that there’s religious devotion while, at other turns, there – or pretty much anything else we feel like after watching the movie, it’s obvious he a lot of potential here that’s almost entirely are absurd implications of good and evil ex- renting. Th e movie in question will usually had to sell his soul to Lucifer to get anybody unrealized. To be fair, Constantine is made isting independently of human thought. For have something to do with our theme, but to ever cast him in anything. – somewhat adeptly – on such an epic scale, example, almost immediately after the credits we’re not making any guarantees.

Page 22 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK FEATURES † Puzzle #285 - Case Sensitive We Salute... The millions of people that make religion a part of our everyday lives. Whether we like it or not. Christians obsessed with the apocalypse We salute you, Christians obsessed with the apocalypse, for bombarding us with disturbing quotes from Revelations while we’re walking down the street to get a cup of coffee. Your homemade signs and shoddily printed t-shirts show just how much you generally care about our immortal souls, as we try to avert eye contact and therefore avoid perplexing questions about eternity while we’re hungover or on our lunch break. With those few, unintelligible words about The Rapture that you uttered through that 1950s relic megaphone, you completely revolutionized my outlook on religion and I will undoubtedly reevaluate my stance on accepting Jesus in my life so as to avoid eternal hellfi re. Just as soon as I fi nish my hot dog. Drivers with Jesus and Darwin Fish magnets We salute you, drivers sporting Jesus and Darwin fi sh bumper stickers, for your wordless and ceaseless war that is being fought on the back of minivans everywhere. Apparently there’s a competition we’re unaware of, where evolu- tionists and creationists fl ash their true colors with the magnet of their choice. What happens next is anybody’s guess, although I hope the side with the most visible followers wins a prize. Hopefully a good prize, too, like a steak dinner, your own cable show, or an eternity of gloating in heaven. Regardless, your conviction towards the cause you support cannot be denied when we glance in your direction to see that iconic symbol glaring us in the face while you take a left off of Sprague and into the parking lot of a sex toy shop. Hypocritical church leaders Solution to this week’s Crossword Puzzle We salute you, hypocritical leaders of the church, for crushing what little If you are looking at this crossword puzzle it means one of two things. Ted bit of hope and optimism we had left. As numbers in worldwide religious Haggard A. You have successfully completed the puzzle and want to check your work. organizations continue to dwindle, you make sure our last bit of faith is Congratulations, and keep up the good work. You don’t suck. Or, replaced by a deep and abiding cynicism as you molest choir boys, cover up and deny those unspeakable acts, lash out against gay marriage a few B. You are an incompetent loser that can’t fi gure out a crossword puzzle and hours before visiting a male prostitute, elect former Nazi youths to the must cheat in order to get yourself out of a jam. Poor form, very poor form. highest level of the Catholic Church, and generally treat us all with pious contempt. While the vast majority of religious folk are good, honorable people, we salute you, hypocritical church leaders, for you are the ones who grab headlines.

Drink of the Issue: BBetsi’setsi’s SSmilemile Sponsored by the Blue Spark

Betsi’s Smile Ingredients 1/2 shot Absolut Peach 1/2 shot Malibu Mango 1 part Orange Juice 1 part Lemonade 1 splash Cranberry SHENANIGANS Monday - Open Mic Night Tuesday - Pub Trivia Wednesday - Bucket Night Mixing Instructions Sunday - Kill the Keg ($1 Pints) Combine Absolut, Malibu, OJ, and Lemonade in a tumbler with ice. Shake well and strain into a LIVE MUSIC cocktail glass. Top it off with a Jan 27th - Jigsaw Republic & Flicky splash of Cranberry. Feb 2nd - DJ Yehon Feb 3rd - Massy Ferguson

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Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Volume 2, Issue 2 – Thursday, January 25th, 2006 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Page 23 ALL FEBRUARY AT

ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULE Thurs, Jan 25th - 6:00 PM - Prago Wine Tasting feat Carlos Verde Jr, Dick Pratt 9:00 PM - DJ James Pants Sat, Jan 27th - 7:00 PM - Abe Kenny, Classical Guitar Tues, Jan 30th - 9:00 PM - ‘Natural Selections’ fea Small Cuts, DJ Coy Boy Fri, Feb 2nd - 5:00 PM - Art Opening: ‘CASH,’ the vinyl collection of Ty Goodwin 6:00 PM - Jeff Johnson (performing Johnny Cash) 7:00 PM - DJ Crow spinning Johnny Cash Sat, Feb 3rd - 8:00 PM - Abe Kenney, Classical Guitar 10:00 PM - Nicolas Vigil (Milonga) & Friends Tues, Feb 6th - 9:00 PM - ‘Natural Selections’ fea Small Cuts, Matt Nasty Wed, Feb 7th - 9:00 PM - ‘Random Access’ with Mike Random, Danny Access Thurs, Feb 8th - 9:00 PM - DJ James Pants

Page 24 – The Spokane SiDEKiCK – Thursday, January 25th, 2007 – Volume 2, Issue 2 – www.SpokaneSiDEKiCK.com – Everybody Needs a SiDEKiCK