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Safe in the Shadow’ 1 ‘Safe In The Shadow’ Heather M. Marshall 2 Safe In The Shadow By Heather Marshall Copyright Heather Marshall Brown Star Publications Published 2006 Heather Marshall asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other – except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without prior permission of the publisher. ISBN 3 Sources of Reference Extracts from the Authorised Version of the Bible [The King James Bible], the rights in which are vested in the Crown, are reproduced by permission of the Crown’s Patentee, Cambridge University Press. Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ‘Helping Others’ G. E. Childs, ‘A Parson’s Thoughts On Pain’ A. R. Mowbray 1949 [An Imprint of Continuum as publisher and the author]. ‘A Lay-By’ A Religious Of The Community Of St. Mary The Virgin, ‘A Light In The Night’ S.C.M. Press 1958. Hymn - ‘Safe In The Shadow Of The Lord’ Timothy Dudley-Smith. Hope Publishing Company. ‘How, Not Why’ The Most Revd. Donald Coggan ‘Thought For The Day’ BBC Publications 1974. ‘Becoming A Christian’ J. R. W. Stott M.A. The Inter-Varsity Fellowship. 4 Acknowledgements I would like to thank my long-suffering family for their loving support. I am deeply grateful to my children, for their blessing on my writing. I am indebted to my husband John: for tirelessly enduring hours of tedious dictation, for painstakingly word-processing my hand-written manuscript. Above all I am thankful for his encouragement and unwavering belief in this work. My mother Marjorie Spencer (now in her late eighties) continues to be my life-long listener, staunch ally and friend. Her contribution to my life is immeasurable. I am profoundly grateful for all the prayers offered for my healing; especially those of people unknown to me. I am humbled by the continuing concern for my health. Finally, I would like to thank everyone mentioned in this work for their contribution to my life and who have consented to being referred to by name. In addition, I am grateful to those who are not specifically named but nonetheless played a vital part. This of course includes the staff of the Oral and E.N.T. departments of Pilgrim Hospital, Boston. Heather M. Marshall July 2006 5 Foreword Safe in the Shadow is a remarkable book, the fruit of the meticulously kept diary of Heather Marshall’s life. Heather recounts, with complete honesty, the significant events of her life, from student to teacher and wife and mother. One feels privileged to be allowed to journey with her and her family, sharing the highs and lows and being humbled by the courage and determination which has enabled her to overcome many difficulties and setbacks. The title of the book comes from a hymn based on the opening words of Psalm 91: He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. In the words of the hymn, and of the psalm which inspired Timothy Dudley-Smith to write them, is found the key to Heather’s approach to life. Her faith in God and in Jesus Christ has been the rock which has been the foundation upon which her life has been built. I first met Heather, John, Charlotte and Thomas when they appeared in my congregation at St Mary’s Church, Frampton. We became friends as together we explored faith and worked together to discover what God wanted them to do in His service. Heather, as she describes in the book, developed more confidence in her abilities and gifts and was soon using them in the church and the community. 6 Then came the shock: she was diagnosed with cancer of the tongue. From that point her faith was tested to the full. Much of the book describes this traumatic time for Heather and her family but their faith remained strong and the love, prayers and support of family and friends enabled them to maintain hope throughout. Many reading this book will identify with some of Heather’s experiences. I hope they will also be inspired by her faith and receive the assurance that they, too, are safe in the shadow of the Lord. The Revd Canon Neil Russell Stamford 7 In Memory of Albert Edward Spencer 15th November 1914 – 3rd November 1968 8 CONTENTS PART 1 Chapter 1 Wednesday 14th October 1992 Chapter 2 A Network Of Support Chapter 3 Preparation Chapter 4 Tuesday 27th October - Ward 2B PART 2 Chapter 5 The Pearl Of Great Price Chapter 6 College Chapter 7 Sunday 3rd November 1968 Chapter 8 Teaching Chapter 9 Meeting John Chapter 10 Early Married Life Chapter 11 Parenthood Chapter 12 Unsettled Times Chapter 13 Boston Again! Chapter 14 St. Mary’s Chapter 15 Mission and Ministry Chapter 16 Romania Chapter 17 Difficult Years Chapter 18 Problems Chapter 19 ‘It’s Nothing Sinister’ 9 PART 3 Chapter 20 I.C.U. Chapter 21 Back On 2B Chapter 22 New Experiences Chapter 23 Hospital Routine Chapter 24 Human At last! Chapter 25 Real Food! Chapter 26 Home Chapter 27 Normality? Chapter 28 Picking Up The Pieces Chapter 29 The Way Forward Chapter 30 Unexpected Healing Chapter 31 A Minor Setback Chapter 32 Obstacles! Chapter 33 The Wheelchair Push Chapter 34 One Year On Chapter 35 2B Or Not To Be? Chapter 36 The Commissioning EPILOGUE The Lost Chain 360 Tuesday 26th July 1994 364 APPENDICES Appendix 1 Major Surgery Appendix 2 Minor Surgery Appendix 3 Removal Of Metal Arch Bar 10 POSTSCRIPT PART 1 Chapter 1 Wednesday 14th October 1992 11 Rushing along the corridor of the Oral Department at Pilgrim Hospital; I glanced back, calling out to John, ‘You don’t have to come with me you know’(hoping that he would take the hint and wait in reception)! In true Marshall fashion I was at least two metres ahead of him, I always walk as if on a route march! Two days earlier on Monday 12th October, I had undergone a biopsy on my tongue. When my husband John had informed me that he would accompany me for the result, before work at 3pm; I was initially very pleased. At least I would be spared the hassle of parking the car. Now, I really thought that it was a bit ‘over the top’ for him to be with me. I could see no earthly reason for that. I felt like a child whose parent insisted on accompanying her to the dentist. At 1.30pm, Val Thompson the nurse who had assisted at the biopsy, ushered us both into the consulting room. John sat in the chair next to the door, whilst I sat in the dentist’s chair. Mr. Glendinning the Consultant Oral Surgeon entered the room. I remember distinctly thinking that he did not look surprised to see my husband. Without smiling, he quietly greeted me by name and then acknowledged John. ‘We’ve analysed the biopsy and it's a malignant tumour.’ Words that I had never, ever expected to hear, not even in my darkest and wildest imaginings. There had been no warning. Mr. Glendinning just dropped the bombshell! Although numb with shock and disbelief, something suddenly registered: the instant realisation of why John had been led to come with me coupled with the enormous relief that he was there. I sat in the dentist’s chair petrified with fear. 12 My thoughts were racing in utter turmoil. This isn’t happening! How can God let this happen to me? Aren’t I special to him? He’s kept me from harm before. So what on earth’s He doing now? As my dazed inner questioning was continuing; I became aware that Mr. Glendinning was still talking. He was commenting on it being a very slow growing tumour in its early stages, which could be most effectively dealt with by surgery. He stated that the Consultant Ear, Nose and Throat Surgeon, who specialised in this type of surgery, would be joining us. Mercifully, I was unable to see John. He said afterwards how dreadful it was for him not to have been sat with me. I am sure that I would have reacted differently if I had seen how devastated he was by the news. Even though tears were welling up in my eyes, I was determined not to break down in front of the consultant. I partially heard Mr. Glendinning’s explanation but was incapable of absorbing it, because my mind was still reeling in frantic denial. The word Cancer had not even been mentioned. I knew that I had to voice that dreaded word. I stated, ‘You mean I’ve got cancer!’ There was a pause before Mr. Glendinning replied very solemnly, ‘Yes I’m sorry you have.’ By now I had managed to gather my composure sufficiently to be able to ask further questions. John seemed to be coping; in that he also joined in this strained conversation. I still had my back turned to him, so was unable to see how he was reacting. Then the Consultant E.N.T.
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