BUKHARAN AND THEIR ADAPTATION TO THE

ANNA HALBERSTADT Clinical Coordinator, Refugee Assistance Services—NYANA On-Site Mental Health Clinic and ADELE NIKOLSKY Coordinator of the Russian Program, Madeleine Borg Community Services Clinic, Jewish Board of Family and Childrens Services, New York

Since the breakup of the , there has been a mass exodus of Bukharan Jews from the Central Asian republics. These emigres differ greatly from Russian Ashkenazic Jews in their , family structure and size, gender roles, child-rearing prac­ tices, expectations placed on their children, and attitudes toward mental health problems and their treatment. All of these differences need to be taken into account when working with this emigre population.

he Bukharan Jews form a distinct, only about 3,000 Bukharan Jews still living Trather large group of emigrants from in . The emigres have moved and Tadzhikistan, former Soviet primarily to the United States and . Republics. They are members of an ancient In the United States, Bukharan commu­ Jewish community that has been living in rtities exist in the Greater New York area, the Central Asia literally from time imme­ Chicago, Los Angeles, Seattle, and Denver. morial. They trace their origin from the Growing Bukharan conunurtities exist as Jews of Persia and speak Tadjiki, a dialect well in the cities of Texas, Arizona, and of Persian. Their ancestors were merchants Florida. Bukharan Jews have followed the who settled in cities along the caravan distribution pattern of all immigrants from routes coimecting the Middle East and the former Soviet Union (FSU), gravitating China. They traded in silk, cotton, and Per­ toward large metropolitan areas with sig­ sian lamb skins. From the sixteenth century nificant Jewish population. until the Russian Revolution of 1917, this The most accurate way to estimate the community lived in , , and size of the Bukharan commurtity in the under the protection of the United States is to examine the number of Khan of Bukhara. In the 1930s, it was esti­ HIAS-assisted arrivals from the former So­ mated that the Jewish community numbered viet Republics of Central Asia—^Uzbekistan, about 40,000 (Gurvich, 1993). Tadzhikistan, and Turkmertistan. From 1980 to 1988, the number of arrivals was DEMOGRAPHIC DATA very low—less than 3,000. However, be­ tween 1989 and October 1995, more than Since the dissolution of the Soviet Union 19,000 Bukharan Jews have emigrated. when the independent Muslim countries of Another way to determine the size of the Uzbekistan and Tadjikistan emerged, there Bukharan commurtity is to examine the pro­ has been a mass exodus of Bukharan Jews. portion of emigres coming from different The recent rise of nationalism and of Is- parts of the FSU. The share of the Central lantic extremism has been accompanied by Asian arrivals in the total number of enu­ increasing anti-Semitism, discrimination at gres coming to the United States from the workplaces, beating of Jews, and looting of FSU increased from 4 to 5% in 1980-89 to their property. As a result, according to 10 to 13% in 1991-95. The present stream Bukharans living in New York, there are

244 Bukharan Jews in the United States / 245

of refugees includes a very diverse group of , Crown Heights, and Starrett City Bixkharan Jews: from professionals from (Brooklyn), Bukharans open their own the capital cities of and and lead the closely knit com­ who speak mainly Russian, and are often munity life unknown to the majority ofthe married to or even non- Russian emigrants in New York, except in Jews to people from small towns and rural the Russian-Ukrainian Jewish community areas who speak the local of Brighton Beach and the Georgian Jewish and Tadjiki, are very Muslimized in their community in Queens. culture and customs, and are in blue-collar or sales occupations. Family Structure and Family Roles

Bukharan families are usually large, very DIFFERENCES BETWEEN BUKHARAN often with five, six, or seven children, and JEWS AND SOVIET EUROPEAN JEWS the three generations are very closely in­ Although Bukharan Jews do differ greatly volved with each other. The majority of from Soviet European Jews, they share the marriages are still arranged by relatives, common qualities of all the Soviet popula­ and many marry inside the extended fami­ tion described by Edgar Goldstein (1984) in lies. A traditional Bukharan wedding, still his definition of "Homo Soveticus." The a central event in a person's life, is very most important shared characteristic is their costly and festive, with up to 300 to 400 ambivalent attitude toward authority. They guests attending. Young couples usually are dependent on government authorities live with the in-laws, mainly with the and at the same time mistrustfiil of them. husband's parents. Life in the bureaucratic system has made them into its efficient manipulators both at Female Roles home and in their host countries. Bukharan Before the Revolution, Bukharan men, like Jews who lived with ancient Asian tradi­ their Muslim neighbors, paid money for tions of favors and bribes also discovered their brides, and Bukharan women wore their utility in their new life. veils. Since 1917, bride money and the wearing of veils have been prohibited by Jewish Identity law, but the status of women in Bukharan In contrast to many emigres from the FSU, famtiies remains low. Neither education Bukharan Jews had the opportunity to de­ nor the professional status ofthe women velop a positive Jewish identity. This com­ can necessarily provide her with the respect munity preserved some knowledge and of her family. Except for the most progres­ practice of and continued to cel­ sive families, Bukharan women always live ebrate and life-cycle rituals. under the power of men—their father, Many families remained strictly observant, brothers, and then husband. Verbal and keeping and . Their rate of physical abuse of women are frequent and intermarriage remained low. are not seen as something especially cruel As a result, they find it easier to inte­ or unusual. grate into the American Jewish community A double standard in sex roles is very than do other emigres. They often settle common in these families. It is much more among Chasidim and traditional Iranian acceptable for a man to have premarital sex Jews whose language they understand. and extramarital affairs, whereas young Both groups have become a source of assis­ girls are usually not allowed to date before tance and sometimes employment for they marry. Very often parents do not allow Bukharan Jews. Settting down in Rego them to even attend parties at school or go Park and the Forest HiUs sections of out with girlfriends for fear of these girls'

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possible "loose" behavior. A girl who loses own quite a few fiimiture stores on lower her virginity loses her chances for a good Broadway and jewelry stores and workshops marriage inside her community. on 47th street. Their business orientation However, a woman's status increases and skills make for a successful econontic with her age and number of children. An adaptation. elderly grandmother, a babulen 'ka, is often a decision maker for her adult children and Demographic Decisions and Child Care may control the family wealth. Her daugh­ Although today most Bukharan women ters-in-law are obliged to obey her, nurse work, they, like their Muslim neighbors her in sickness, and assist her in house­ (and unlike the Russian Jews), continue to work. value big fanulies as a gift of God. In the FSU, Jews relied on several sources of child Male Roles care for their large fantilies. Extended In contrast to men from other regions of the families, especially grandparents, were a FSU, who played a rather marginal role in primary source; using older children as their own families because they had been babysitters and the state child care were deprived of economic irutiative by the state other means. In contrast to Russian Jews, (Geiger, 1968), in the strongly Muslimized the Bukharans made extensive use of facili­ Bukharan family the male role retains many ties for children 1 to 3 years old, kindergar­ patriarchal features. Frequently, the tens (including those where children sleep Bukharan man retains the position as the over five to six days a week) and state sole or main provider for his family. Even boarding schools, which were known for the when his wife also works, he still, unlike a poor quality of child care. Russian-Jewish man, expects obedience from his wife and often holds the strings of Attitude toward Childhood the family purse. Like the Russians, Bukharans practice swaddling, and both groups discourage tod­ Role of Financial Security dlers' exploration of the environment. In In the Bukharan community a person's self- the view of some Freudian practitioners this worth is determined often but not always by encourages an inclination to passivity, de­ his or her family's fmancial security. Tra­ pression, and despair. ditionally, a well-to-do commurtity of mer­ Yet, there is a difference in the chants, the poor on the community assis­ nurturance of Russian Jewish and Bukharan tance rolls never constituted more than 1 infants. The former are frequently picked percent of the population. The majority of up, pampered, and smothered in affection. the Bukharan community members make In contrast, Bukharan infants are not occupational choices with the family's fi­ handled often. In the past (and now only in nancial security in mind. In the Soviet some rural areas among the least-educated economy of shortages, they traditionally families) infants were kept in rocking cribs chose occupations that provided access to with a hole in the bottom for elimination either consumer goods (retail salespeople, and tied with soft cloth ties as was tradi­ cooks, cafe and canteen managers) or to tips tional among all nations of Central Asia. (maiticurists, barbers, and cab drivers). Af­ In the view of Anna Freud and Erik Erikson ter emigration, the Bukharan fantilies in­ (1963) physical restraint and lack of access volve as many fantily members as possible, to caring adults may instill anger in an in­ including adolescents, in paid jobs or fantily fant. Among teachers and clirucians businesses. With a heritage of business, Bukharans are sometimes stereotyped as in­ they start their own businesses more fi'e- clined to quick anger and to verbal and quently than Russian Jews. They already physical aggression.

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Typically, less educated Bukharan par­ tended families, and they are strengthened ents do not expect much from their children by family loyalty. Ashkenazi children com­ in the way of academic and cultural ing from small families, in teachers' opin­ achievements, in contrast to Russian Jewish ion, make friends easier with strangers. parents who are often obsessed with good grades and extracurricular activities. Adolescence Rather, the Bukharans try to prepare their Bukharan adolescence is quite short. Be­ children for a satisfying family life and for cause of the persistence of the traditional providing the highest possible income for society with its distinct established family their families. Boys and girls are socialized roles, powerful parental authority, and ar­ into distinctly different family roles, and ranged marriages, a long period of search­ their involvement in the workforce starts ing for and forming one's identity is unnec­ very early. For example, a mother of a five- essary. The majority of Bukharan youth do year-old, rather slowly developing girl com­ not spend a long time preparing for compli­ plained of her laziness—she still could not cated careers. Thus, the concepts of adoles­ learn to make her father's bed. Another cent revolt and of sexual explorations are woman, a mother of a young schizophrenic not embraced by the Bukharan culture. man, recollected how good he was as a This lack of individuation may also explain child: at four, he would iron his shirts and why some educated Bukharans, especially shorts before going to bed, and at seven, he women, still act according to traditional would cook soup for his mother who re­ roles, remaining submissive wives and turned from work exhausted. daughters. Both sexes are taught to cook, and at the age often or eleven a girl already knows THE IMPACT OF EMIGRATION ON THE how to bake, clean, and look after her BUKHARAN JEWISH COMMUNITY younger siblings. A boy of the same age is already preoccupied with the financial situ­ To understand the impact of emigration, the ation of his family, maintaining the pattern concepmal framework of Drachman and traditional for this community. Halberstadt (1992) is used. It describes These preparations for fiiture work and three stages of migration: departure, tran­ family life often occupy Bukharan children sit, and resettiement. to such a degree that their schoolwork may suffer. American teachers, including Rus­ Departure sian-speaking bilingual teachers, observe The Bukharan emigrants who have arrived that these children frequently have difficul­ in the United States since 1989 are mem­ ties developing the abstract thinking skills bers of the fourth wave of emigration. The necessary for academic success. The boys had primarily negative motives for emigra­ may feel responsible for the family's finan­ tion. The dissolution of the Soviet Union cial hardships and may drop out of school to and the rise of the independent Muslim start earning money, an action that is ap­ states in the Central Asia resulted in na­ proved by the community. tional wars, political and economic chaos, Hulewat (1981) notes that in Russian and growing anti-Semitism. Jewish families there is no tolerance for Over the past decade in the FSU, many children's aggression toward parents, but it Bukharan Jews have been persecuted at is assumed that in the outside world chil­ work, their children have been harassed in dren, especially boys, can fight. This split schools, and Jewish businesses have been is observed among the Bukharan children set on fire. Well-to-do people preparing for too. As Bukharan children usually grow up emigration were especially frequent targets with many siblings and cousins, their of robberies, kidnappings, and blackmail. friendships develop mainly inside their ex­

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Therefore, many Bukharan emigrants were one hand, a newcomer can obtain help find­ traumatized at the time of departure. They ing housing and a job and can receive moral fled Central Asia without any positive moti­ support. On the other hand, the community vation other than to join extended family may exercise pressure on the new arrival, members who had emigrated earlier. imposing its traditional expectations on his The Bukharan community in Israel and behavior. In addition, family secrets are in the Uiuted States are similar. Both are under the threat of disclosure. large, well-adapted, and with many busi­ Many emigres suffer a loss of status, as nessmen and professionals. As Bukharan they take nonprestigious jobs and no longer families often have a large number of sib­ enjoy the high income they had in the old lings, many are split between Israel and dif­ country. ferent cities in the United States. Most fre­ Among Bukharan emigrants are many quently it is the woman who is separated people with business experience, skillful from her parents and siblings as she follows craftsmen, and numerous service sector her husband into a country chosen by him. workers, such as cab drivers, barbers, mani­ These family separations may result in curists, and cooks. However, this group of marital conflicts and secondary migrations, immigrants is hampered by their poor En­ mainly from Israel to the United States. glish-language skills. This is true even for professionals from large cities. In addition, Transit the job skills of many Bukharans who were tailors, salespersons, and hairdressers, espe­ In contrast to emigres in the third wave who cially those from smaller towns and rural spent several months in Italy waiting for communities, are rather low. permission to enter the United States, now Typically, men, particularly those who emigrants wait for their entrance documents are poorly educated and in their fifties, have in their own countries. The Bukharan Jews difBculty finding employment. They are of­ frequently must sell their own homes and ten depressed by the loss of their bread­ move into either rental housing in their own winner's status in the fainily and the com­ cities or try to relocate to Moscow where munity. Many have difBculty learning En­ they wait for their documents. Such reloca­ glish, often drop out of ESL classes, and tions may be quite hard in a country that usually limit their job search to the familiar has always been known for its housing area populated by Bukharan and Irartian shortage and is now torn by economic de­ Jews. cline and political instability. Well-to-do Bukharan families who have alreacfy sold Women often are more successful than their house, car, and belongings often be­ their spouses in mastering English and come prey of criminals and experience rob­ fmding jobs. However, Bukharan mothers beries, beatings, and extortions. In addi­ of large families often have no work experi­ tion, they do not have the benefit of the stay ence, may have numerous health problems, in Italy, which provided their predecessors and frequently are prematurely aged. with their first encounter with the West and a time of family consolidation so necessary CLINICAL PRACTICE ISSUES for successfiil emigration. Attitude toward Mental Health Problems and Their Treatment Resettlement For a Bukharan client it is dangerous to In the closely knit Bukharan communities seek help with mental health problems. If both in Israel and in the United States, the this information leaks into the community, newcomers usually find already setded rela­ the social standing of the family is in jeop­ tives and friends. There are positive and ardy and the marriageability of the children negative aspects of these close ties. On the is in danger too.

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As mental illness carries such a stigma, openly oppose donuneering fanuly mem­ the family usually minimizes serious mental bers; they frequently complain of headaches problems: family members with such prob­ and stomachaches. The physical and emo­ lems are just characterized as "nervous." tional vulnerability of women is accepted by Most of the mentally ill Bukharans are the Bukharan culture. In fact, it is often the married because the prevailing custom of woman's way to attract attention from her arranged marriages makes courtship and family or to moderate conflict. dating unnecessary. Usually information about mental illness is concealed prior to Clinical Issues Typical for the Initial Stage the wedding. After a first hospitalization of Resettlement the wife may try to negotiate with her par­ ents the possibility of returning home. When starting to work with a Bukharan cli­ ent, it is essential to first gather information Although in our practice, a number of on his or her motivation to emigrate, what women are married to mentally ill hus­ family members are here, where else are bands, only once have we seen a woman family members living, and what was the who dared to leave her mentally til husband family's social status in the FSU. All these and emigrate to Israel with her son. How­ factors determine the intensity of cultural ever, her 8-year-old daughter was influ­ shock. enced by her paternal grandparents and was The distance between the Bukharan and left as a hostage. The girl's present family role is to make her mother return to her American way of life is much larger than husband. She is parentified in other ways between Russian Jewish and American cul­ too: she cooks and performs other adult ture. Therefore, a necessary part of these woman's duties. Even after several hospi­ clients' treatment is an educational seg­ talizations in this country the husband's ment. They need to learn about psycho­ parents minimized his symptoms and be­ therapy, an unfamiliar method of treatment; lieved that he could be healed by restoration about sexual relationships in American so­ of his family. This case came to the atten­ ciety; and to be given some legal informa­ tion ofthe JBFCS because the man became tion. In particular, the Bukharan clients do physically aggressive toward his daughter not realize that battering of women and during one of his psychotic outbreaks. children is a criminal act under American law. However, once Bukharan clients become Usually, the first presenting problem is involved in treatment, they may establish concem about separation from members of more easily than do Russians a trust rela­ the extended family who are either staying tionship with their therapist, as this com­ in Central Asia or already living in Israel. munity traditionally respects helpers, heal­ Yet, emigration often serves the purposes of ers, and medical professionals. Yet, work­ separation from abusive or oppressive fam­ ing with a Bukharan therapist may evoke very contradictory feelings. On the one ily members. For example, Zoya K., a hand, this person shares the client's culture manicurist from Samarkand, confided in and speaks the language. On the other her social worker that her primary motive hand, it is frightening to open up to a mem­ for emigration was to be able to live sepa­ ber of the same community. rately from her mother-in-law, a very criti­ cal and demanding woman whom she blamed for setting her husband against her. Role of Somatization Family conflicts, especially between a The Bukharan culture is not a verbal one, daughter and mother-in-law, occur fre- and so somatization of psychological dis­ quentiy. Husbands often side with their comfort is quite widespread. This is true mothers or feel torn between their mothers especially for women who are unable to and wives.

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Tapora, age 57, complained to a social Marat S., an engineer from Tadikent, studied worker that her daughter-m4aw did not let in college in a diEferent repubhc of the FSU. her see her granddaughter as often as she He married a Russian Christian woman and wanted to and also that the daughter-in-law settled in Abna-Ata (Kirgizia). They had often hit the child. The daughter-in-law, in two children. Marat S. has lived away from tum, wlio missed her family left in his family of origin for twelve years. He was Uzbekistan, accused Tsipora of constantly a good husband and affectionate father. He demanding attention from her son. The latter felt guilty for such a long separation from his spent most of his free time with his mother, parents. When he joined them in New York, rather than staying at home and helping his they wanted him to divorce his wife and wife with housework. marry "a proper Bukharan woman." Marat started to distance himself from his wife For male clients a frequent complaint is de­ Zina. She felt that both she and her children pression due to the loss of standing in the were rejected by Marat's family. She be­ community and of financial security. Often came more and more isolated and desperate. these men come to this country with a plan Her parents died long ago, she had no friends to start their own small business, such as a or relatives here, and after four months she barber shop or shoe repair service, but dis­ developed suicidal ideation. She was re­ cover that doing so would require some ferred by NYANA to the JBFCS on-site psy­ American experience and knowledge of chiatric unit. English. Feelings of failure and loss frequently Emigration sometimes reveals the existence are experienced by poorly educated people, of a serious extramarital affair or even of a especially high-school dropouts, who second family, not a very rare occasion in worked from the age of 15 or 16. They did this community. Sometimes the husband not expect that learning English was neces­ wants to restore this side of his life. sary for employment. They often want to go back home, but give up frightened by legal Galina Z. came into treatment extremely de­ difficulties. pressed after she found letters from her husband's mistress. She reahzed that he had Marital Conflicts a child in the FSU and that he continued to send parcels and money to this second fam­ During the initial stage of resettlement, ily. Prior to this episode the husband as­ many of our Bukharan clients are seen for sured her that this relationship had ended. marital conflicts, which are often accompa­ Galina wanted to leave her husband, but nied by verbal and physical abuse by the did not dare to for fear of jeopardizmg the husband. In the group of battered women maniageabihty of her daughters as children from the FSU mn by NYANA, over 50 per­ from a broken family. Yet, she was not able cent of the participants are Bukharan to forgive this betrayal and refused marital women. therapy suggested by her therapist. She was Emigration may ignite marital conflicts deeply depressed. by bringing into close proximity the parts of the extended family that had separated long During the initial stage of resettlement—^up ago. The most frequent situation is the re­ to one year after arrival—the most frequent jection of the wife by her husband's family mental health conditions among our clients if she is from a different social stratum, be­ are adjustment disorders and major depres­ longs to a different ethnic group, is better sive episodes. Loss of status and of income, educated than her husband, or comes from a disappointment in relatives who have raised different city. hopes for their help, and difficulties with

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English are the most frequent precipitating Queens with a large number of Bukharan events. Many people suffering from depres­ children established a special tutoring ser­ sion come with a long history of health vice for them. problems, presenting symptoms of chest Timely recognition, testing, and diagno­ pains, heart pains and palpitations, liver sis of existing leariung and mental prob­ pains, and the like. In the FSU, they went lems are essential. However, securing the from doctor to doctor for years. In this cooperation of Bukharan parents maybe country, they continue to seek medical care difficult because they may not understand and have secondary gains from their ill­ the sources of their children's problems or nesses: they more attention and respect the available resources. from their children and avoid housework Educators dealing with Bukharan young­ and sexual relationships with often unfaith- sters often complain about their aggressive fiil and disrespectfiil husbands. In addition, behavior with peers. It is usefiil to remem­ many young women come because of mari­ ber that all the close relationships of these tal problems and spousal abuse. children, as determined by the Bukharan tradition, are limited to their immediate and Treatment Problems in Later Stages of extended families. Their best friends are Resettlement their siblings and cousins, not their class­ mates or neighbors. They are permitted to Even after many years in this country, the play and socialize with these children on majority of our Bukharan clients are re­ some superficial level, but are not encour­ ferred to treatment by hospitals, medical aged to bring them home or to develop real practitioners, and schools. Sometimes they camaraderie with them. Therefore, educa­ come to the attention of child welfare ser­ tors should try to inculcate cooperation and vices because of the possibility of abuse. friendliness and educate their parents to the importance of these values in a democratic Children and Adolescents as society. Indicated Patients Adolescence is the time of life when the In contrast to the initial stages of resettle­ clash between the American and Bukharan ment when adults and their difiBculties ac­ culture is the most acute. The resettlement counted for about 90 percent of presenting process makes the adolescent passage diffi­ problems, at later stages the problems of cult for all former Soviet youngsters, Buk­ Bukharan children and adolescents become harans included. Parental guidance is much more prominent. A considerable weakened because ofthe parents' preoccu­ number of Bukharan children exhibit learn­ pation with family survival and their unfa- ing and behavioral problems in school, par­ miliarity with the new society. As Belo­ ticularly those from large blue-collar fami­ zersky (1), p. 129, writes, these adolescents lies from small Uzbek and Tajik communi­ ties. Their parents are frequently poorly e?q)erience the double task of development educated people, and many have histories of and adjustment....They begin to test and learning difficulties th'emselves. In large push the limits of parental authority even fur­ Bukharan families of this type, adults are ther, hi tum, parents feel threatened by the preoccupied with their jobs and housework; increasing independence of their children, es­ they rarely speak to their children, do not pecially because all Soviet parents hve in read to them, and do not see education as mortal fear of their children falhng victim to the most important goal in their children's sex and drugs in America. They try to rees- lives. As a result, many Bukharan children tabUsh their authority, but instead often lose find school studies difficult. Recognizing their credibihty and strain the relationship this problem, one elementary school in with their children to the limits.

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As a result, acting out and even delinquency her mmiskirts, and her provocative an­ are frequent problems among adolescents nouncements lhat she will have a boyfiiend from the FSU. who will not be a Bukharan and will never The traditional Bukharan culture pre­ beat her as her father beats her mother. She pares its young people to follow in the foot­ ej^ressed her pity and disdain to her mother steps of their parents. A girl is supposed to who »lently tolerated this abuse and just be­ get married in her late teens and a young came more and more phydcaUy ill. man only a few years later. At that time they have been already prepared for their Nelhe, a 15-year-old, called the child wel­ traditional roles of spouses, parents, and fare services requesting placement into a fos­ breadwinners. Adherence to these tradi­ ter family as her father was beating her for tional roles precludes the period of search­ misbehavior. NeUie proclaimed that she ing for one's individual identity and explo­ hved in a free country where she was entitled ration of sex. The traditional Bukharan to do what she wanted. She befiiended an courtship is quite short, no more than two older non-Bukharan girl Uving alone and or three months, for fear that the couple having a boyfriend. She started to date a may engage in premarital sex. This culture Christian young man. prepares its young people only for an "all or nothing" mode of relations between sexes. In both of these families, the parents were In American high schools, adolescent horrified by the prospect of their daughters' Bukharans are exposed to American teen­ mining their chances of finding a good age culture and feel the peer pressure to join Bukharan husband and destroying their it. Their parents are often terrified by ado­ families' position in the commuruty. De­ lescent dress styles and the desire to have spite all their bold proclamations, the girls boyfriends and girlfriends and to learn how themselves were frightened by the possibil­ to handle sexual relations of different close­ ity of becoming outcasts. While rebellious, ness and duration. A young Bukharan they felt guilty inflicting this pain on their wants, on the one hand, to become an parents. American. On the other hand, he or she is We deliberately chose both examples of terrffied of losing the acceptance of their female rebellious Bukharan adolescents be­ community. This stmggle to find a com­ cause these situations are typical. In both fortable degree of dependence-independence families rebellious daughters became repre­ from the community and their family exac­ sentatives of their abused mothers, who erbates longstanding family conflicts. gave their daughters ambiguous signals as As Bukharan families value the Jewish they were both terrified and vicariously en­ tradition and rehgious education, they find joying their bold behavior. Correspond­ that sending their chddren, especially girls, ingly, treatment had to start with addressing to yeshivahs helps smooth their difficult the problem of family violence, which even­ transition to the adult world. tually declined in both fantihes. The adjustment problems are worsened when families are living in neighborhoods Ethnicity of the Therapist beset by dmgs, crime, and family dissolu­ The ethnicity of the therapist influences tion. Bukharan clients' engagement in the work of treatment. An English-speaking thera­ Tamaia, a 17-year-old high-school student, pist can be seen by Bukharan adolescents as was an oldest daughter in a working-class a representative of the culture they want to Bukharan family. They came to the atten­ join. A woman therapist may be seen by tion of the child welfare services because her these rebelhous girls as a possible role father was beating her for "loose" behavior. model, a guide to the new life. They see He could not stand her use of bright Upstick,

SUMMER 1996 Bukharan Jews in the United States / 253 their parents as too confiised by the new re­ that create additional complications in treat­ ality to play this role with any success. ment. Some important information may not Adult clients engage easier with a Rus­ be shared with the therapist, thereby distort­ sian-speaking therapist, who shares a com­ ing the course of treatment of paralyzing it. mon language with them. They frequently assume that such a therapist not only under­ A 28-year-old man, Mr. S., was hospitalized stands them but shares their values and in an acute psychotic condition: he heard views on the family life. As a result of this threatening voices and was constantly preoc­ split between the needs of children and cupied with talking to them. He was occa- aduks in therapy, it is very hard to succeed aonally violent and at times sabotaged his in family therapy with Bukharan clients. medication. His parents grieved for their young handsome son, e)q)ected immediate For example, Nellie, mentioned above, at­ miraculous results from treatment, and hoped tended therapy sessions with an American to see Mr. S. completely cured in a short therapist. Nelhe trusted her and spoke while. His stay in a hospital did not bring openly about her problems. She revealed her any radical improvement, and Mr. S. was pam and confusion regarding her family hfe, discharged into an adult home where he con­ the pain of rejection by her American class­ tinued his treatment under the JBFCS team mates, and her shame regarding her poor aca­ care. Only after several months of unsuc­ demic performance. Sometimes her older cessful changes of medication did the family sister would join her. However, work with reveal that it was not Mr. S.'s first hospital­ her parents was impossible as the cliiuc did ization; that manic-depressive illness ran in not have a translator. The parents were as­ the family, that Mr. S.'s older sister and aunt signed to a Russian-spealdng therapist in an­ were ill with it; and that prior to falling ill, other clinic. The parents' goal of treatment Mr. S. had experimented with stimulants be­ was that their therapist would side with them cause they helped him to stand the long in making their daughters into model hours his family forced him to work m their Bukharan maidens. Instead, they became vegetable store. aware about the role of their marital conflict, This additional information showed that the father's alleged iniidehties, and spousal Mr. S. was chronically ill and the goal of abuse in their daughters' acting out. treatment had to be limited to maintenance As the parents were not ready to work on of Mr. S. out of the hospital. When asked their own ooirflict, the residt of their treat­ about why they hid these important facts, the ment was limited to ending physical abuse in parents acknowdedged that they thought the the house. They also came to reahze that doctors would try harder if they did not their daughters saw their family life as unat­ know Mr. S.'s history and maybe these new tractive and wanted some better future for doctors were better speciaKsts and would themselves. The parents started to negotiate cure him. with their daughters the need to at least avoid rejection by the community's marriage mar­ Family secrets may create other confusing ket. Despite all her daring behavior Nelhe complications in treatment. In particular, could not see herself as not belongtng to the younger people growing up in families with Bukharan community. Her own treatment secrets may become conftised by ambiguous was thwarted by her parents' entrance mto situations and respond by acting out. therapy, after wiiich she dropped out of treat­ ment. Mazaltov K., age 16, had a Puerto-Rican boyfriend, dressed provocatively, and did not The Role of Family Secrets hsten to her parents. Her father and older brother became physically abusive toward Bukharan families often have many secrets

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her, which led the family into treatment. keep much personal information secret Mazaltov, among other things, beheved that because of the fear of disclosure in the some unusually "bad" behavior was expected community. from her as she was named after her late Ethnicity of the social worker is very im­ grandmother. From her childhood, when portant. At the initial stages of treat­ Mazaltov misbehaved, it was frequently ment, it is most important to have a hinted that she was acting just as could be worker who speaks the same language. expected from a gid with this name. A social worker from the same conunu­ In treatment, the girl's parents confessed nity is trusted to understand the client's to their therapist that old Mazaltov was a way of life and values. At the same time mentally unstable woman who killed herself the client doubts that confidentiality will The custom demanded them to name their be provided at all times and is apprehen­ daughter in honor of her late grandmother sive about the leakage of information but they felt that this name threw a shadow about personal troubles into the commu­ on their daughter's life. After discussions nity. Sometimes a social worker from with the therapist, the parents still avoided another part of the FSU can elicit the disclosure of this secret to Mazaltov. trust gained by sharing a common lan­ guage and general life experience, but is Sometimes the Bukharan community tries removed from the Bukharan community. to deal with possible adolescent revolt by At the later stages of resettlement, an speeding up the young people's transition to American social worker may have more their traditional adult roles. A girl can be chances for successful work with young married off at 16 if there is the suspicion Bukharans looking for a role model. that she has started sexual exploration. A Most social workers are women, and it is boy may be involved in a family business or very damaging for a Bukharan man's a job, even if that means dropping out of ego to reveal his weaknesses and disclose school. his secrets to a woman. Yet, the conununity has shown some Work with Bukharan clients often is lim­ flexibility in its adaptation to life in the ited to one consultation (which is typical United States. It is now more acceptable for for male clients) or short-term crisis in­ a girl to attend college because in the tervention, especially in cases of fantily United States a family may need two good conflicts as family therapy is often very providers to be well to do, which always is problematic. an imperative in the Bukharan community. The frequent problem of family violence The recognized importance of higher educa­ demands attention, no matter how brief tion results in postponement of the marriage the treatment. Bukharan battered until the girl's education is completed. women look for help, but they are afraid This is the begirming of the transformation to challenge operdy their commurtity's of this community's traditional way of life. customs. Any social work professional trying to RECOMMENDATIONS FOR engage a Bukharan individual or a fam­ TREATMENT ily has to be extremely aware, consider­ ate, and respectful of the Bukharan cul­ When working with Bukharan clients, treat­ ture and tradition. One caimot challenge ment should follow these guidehnes. directly the centuries' old tradition. Such a stand will threaten an individual • One should remember that this popula­ with total loss of connection with the tion is much less psychologically minded community. No matter how unhappy a than Ashkenazi Jews from the FSU. person is in family or marriage he or she They are much more guarded and try to

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nevertheless cannot picture existence reference and family dynamics during the outside the community. adjustment period. Philadelphia. For example, a social worker's sug­ Drachman, Dianne, & Halberstadt, Anna. gestion to a battered woman to leave her (1992). A stage of migration framework as abusive spouse and go to a shelter may apphed to present Soviet emigres. In An­ not be an acceptable option, as a di­ gela Shenn Ryan (Ed.), Social work with vorced or a separated woman living out­ emigrants and refugees. New York: side the community will make outcasts Hayworth Press. out of her children. However, Victoria Erikson, Eric. (1963). Childhood and society, Neznansky, a leader of a battered 2nd ed. New York: W.W. Norton. women's group at NY ANA, successfiilly Freud, Anna. (1942). The role of the bodily involved many Bukharan women in this iUness in the mental life of children. Psy­ long-term treatment. They constitute choanalytic study ofthe child, 69-81. about half of the group participants. Geiger, Kent. (1968). The family in Soviet More prolonged treatment is possible . Cambridge: Harvard University with female clients suffering from de­ Press. pression and adjustment problems. It is Goldstein, Edgar. (1984). "Homo Sovieticus" also possible with adolescent girls trying in transition: Psychoanalysis and prob­ to find their own mixture of traditional lems of social adjustment. Journal of the and American way of life. American Academy of Psychoanalysis, 72(1). CONCLUSION Gurvich, I. (1993). BukharsMe yevrei vchera i segodnya (Bukharan Jews: Yesterday and This is our first attempt to summarize our today). Novoye Russkoye Slovo, August impressions and clinical experiences in 31. dealing with the Bukharan Jewish popula­ Hulewat, Ph>lhs. (1981). Dynamics of the tion in resettlement agencies and commu­ Soviet Jewish family: Its impact on clini­ nity mental health clinics. It is hoped that cal practice for the Jewish family agency. this work will be of interest to professionals Journal of Jewish Communal Service, 48, in education and human services encounter­ 53-60. ing this numerous and interesting Jewish emigre group with its rich heritage and tra- ADDITIONAL READINGS difions. Ben-Zvi, Itzhak. (1957). Exiled and redeemed. REFERENCES Philadelphia: Jewish Pubhcation Society of America. Belozersky, Irina. (1990). New begianings, "Bukhara." In Encyclopedia Judaica, 2, 1470- old problems. Psychocultural frame of 1476. Jemsalem, 1972.

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