A FOR SPRING AWAKENINGS 2019 · 5779 2 1 (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) We gather tonight to celebrate the journey of the ancient from slavery to freedom. Jewish or not, religious or not, each one of us belongs to this community, here at our shared table.

Our ceremony is the seder, from a Hebrew word that means “order.” We read from the haggadah, which means “the telling.” We tell the story of our deliverance from Egypt using symbols on our seder plate and at our seder table, whose meanings we explore.

Though occurred over three thousand years ago, because of , no memory is more strongly embedded in the Jewish consciousness than the story told herein and lived and affirmed anew in every generation. The seder is a joyous ritual of freedom, celebrating through instruction, worship, song, and food, Israel’s liberation from bondage.

This story lives on because there are still many forms of slavery in our world. We are still struggling to leave “Egypt,” mitzrayim —literally, “the narrow place.” There are still narrow places that confine us, and battles for freedom yet to be won. Our story of leaving Egypt is the shared narrative of a people, but it is also for each of us today to make it our own. In telling our story of free- dom, each of us around the table is invited to reflect on our personal journeys toward freedom this year. As we say, “In every generation each of us must act as if we had personally gone out of Egypt.”

Let us remember that Passover is not just about who we are, but it is also about what we do. Tonight we celebrate. Tomorrow we act on all that we have learned.

— ADAPTED FROM A TRILINGUAL HUMANIST HAGGADAH FOR PASSOVER, ED. CECILIA KREMER AND SANDRA MAYO; SHARING THE JOURNEY HAGGADAH BY ALAN YOFFE; THE LOVE AND JUSTICE IN TIMES OF WAR HAGGADAH, BY MICAH BAZANT AND DARA SILVERMAN

4 Welcome (SEDER LEADER) Here we are. Here we are, gathered to celebrate the oldest continually practiced ritual in the Western world, to retell what is arguably the best known of all stories, to take part in the most widely practiced Jewish holiday. Here we are as we were last year, and as we hope to be next year. Here we are, as night descends in succession over all of the Jews of the world, with a book in front of us.

Jews have a special relationship to books, and the Hag- gadah has been translated more widely, and reprinted more often, than any other Jewish book. It is not a work of history or philosophy, not a prayer book, user's manu- al, timeline, poem, or palimpsest—and yet it is all of these things. The is the foundational text for Jewish law, but the Haggadah is our book of living memory. We are not merely telling a story here. We are being called to a radical act of empathy. Here we are, embarking on an ancient, perennial attempt to give human life— our lives—dignity.

Here we are: Individuals remembering a shared past and in pursuit of a shared destiny. The seder is a protest against despair. The universe might appear deaf to our fears and hopes, but we are not—so we gather, and share them, and pass them down. We have been waiting for this moment for thousands of years—more than one hundred generations of Jews have been here as we are— and we will continue to wait for it. And we will not wait idly.

— THE NEW AMERICAN HAGGADAH, ED. JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER 3 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? The seder officially begins with a physical act: lighting the candles. In Jewish tradition, lighting can- dles and saying a blessing over them marks a time of transition, from the day that is ending to the one that is beginning, from ordi- nary time to sacred time. Candlelighting FOR CALLING THE SPIRIT BACK FROM WANDERING THE EARTH IN ITS HUMAN FEET

Speak to it as you would to a beloved child. When you find your way to the circle, to the fire kept burning by the keepers of your soul, Welcome your spirit back from its you will be welcomed. wandering. It may return in pieces, in tatters. Gather them together. They will be happy to You must clean yourself with cedar, sage, or be found after being lost for so long. other healing plant.

Your spirit will need to sleep awhile after it is Cut the ties you have to failure and shame. bathed and given clean clothes. Let go the pain you are holding in your mind, Now you can have a party. Invite everyone your shoulders, your heart, all the way to you know who loves and supports you. Keep your feet. Let go the pain of your ancestors to room for those who have no place else to go. make way for those who are heading in our direction. Make a giveaway, and remember, keep the speeches short. Ask for forgiveness.

Then, you must do this: help the next person Call upon the help of those who love you. find their way These helpers take many forms: animal, through the dark. element, bird, angel, saint, stone, or ancestor.

—JOY HARJO Call your spirit back. It may be caught in corners and creases of shame, judgment, and human abuse. LIGHT THE CANDLES. You must call in a way that your spirit will want to return.

6 Candlelighting (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) FOR CALLING THE SPIRIT BACK FROM WANDERING THE EARTH IN ITS HUMAN FEET

Let the earth stabilize your postcolonial Put down that bag of potato chips, that white insecure jitters. bread, that bottle of pop.

Be respectful of the small insects, birds and Turn off that cellphone, computer, and remote animal people who accompany you. control. Ask their forgiveness for the harm we hu- mans have brought down upon them. Open the door, then close it behind you.

Don’t worry. Take a breath offered by friendly winds. They The heart knows the way though there may travel the earth gathering essences of plants be high-rises, interstates, checkpoints, armed to clean. soldiers, massacres, wars, and those who will despise you because they despise themselves. Give it back with gratitude.

The journey might take you a few hours, a If you sing it will give your spirit lift to fly to the day, a year, a few years, a hundred, a stars’ ears and back. thousand or even more. Acknowledge this earth who has cared for you Watch your mind. Without training it might since you were a dream planting itself run away and leave your heart for the precisely within your parents’ desire. immense human feast set by thethieves of time. Let your moccasin feet take you to the encampment of the guardians who have Do not hold regrets. known you before time, who will be there af- ter time. They sit before the fire that has been there without time.

5 Kadesh

— THE , DELUXE EDITION (1964)

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON) —RABBI GAVRIEL GOLDFEDER, With this blessing, we lift our wine, our symbol of joy; let us welcome the festival of Passover! JEWISH CHAPLAIN, MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY DRINK THE FIRST CUP OF WINE! 8 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? During the seder, we join together to bless and drink four cups of wine, which tradi- tionally represent each of the promises of freedom God made to the Israelites: I will bring you out, I will deliver you, I will re- deem you, I will take you to be my people.

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) All Jewish celebrations, from holidays to wed- Kadeshdings, include wine as a symbol of our joy—not to mention a practical way to increase that joy. The seder starts with wine, then gives us three more opportunities to refill our cups and drink, each with its own intention.

At an ordinary meal, our blessing over the wine would be called the kiddush, which means sanctification. But on Passover, this section of the seder is called kadesh, which means “Sanctify!” Instead of an everyday acknowledgement, it is a joyous imperative: “Make this night holy!”

In other words: beginning with this first cup of wine, make tonight special for you. What- ever brings you to the table, allow yourself to believe that tonight will change you. Though it is up to us to do the work of transformation, believe that when we commit to seeking free- dom, we can be sure our efforts will bear fruit.

—RABBI GAVRIEL GOLDFEDER, JEWISH CHAPLAIN, MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

7 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? At this point in the seder, it is tra- ditional to eat a green vegetable dipped in salt water. The green veg- etable represents rebirth, renewal and growth; the salt water rep- resents the tears of enslavement.

Karpas(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Our tradition teaches us that the Israelites’ story Like many of our holidays, Passover began with an awakening: saw the burning combines a celebration of an event bush and recognized that he was called to liberate from our Jewish memory with a his people from Egypt. Let our journey tonight begin recognition of the cycles of nature. with an awakening, too—of the need for inner free- The is the first of the symbol- dom that exists in each of us. As you pass and dip the ic foods we will eat tonight, and it karpas, turn to your neighbor, and share: typically represents two things: our ancestors’ liberation from Egypt, What does mitzrayim mean to you, right now? and the first stirrings of spring.

DISTRIBUTE THE KARPAS, Spring, however, is already well DIP TWICE IN SALTWATER, EAT, underway in the Sonoran Desert! So AND DISCUSS. rather than look to the world around us for signs of rebirth and renewal... let’s take a peek inside ourselves, instead.

The Hebrew name for ancient Egypt is mitzrayim, or, “the narrow place.” But narrow places exist in more ways than one. Mitzrayim has been equally understood to mean a spiritual state, a place of confusion, fragmentation, and disconnection. Fear of the other, fear of our true selves, fear of losing control—there are many ways we can get trapped in mitzrayim. Even some of what passes for “spiritual growth” may lead us into a narrower, more constricted place, as we attempt to cut off parts of ourselves that we don’t like. —TIKKUN MAGAZINE HAGGADH SUPPLEMENT, RABBI MICHAEL LERNER

10 (SEDER LEADER) UrchatzThis is a moment to cleanse and refresh, so that we can begin the seder intentionally.

As you wash your hands, consider:

How have you used your hands since you last sat at the seder table?

What have they created?

What burdens have they carried?

How often have you (and your hands) taken a moment simply to ready yourself for what comes next?

PASS AROUND A BASIN OF WATER AND A CLOTH. RINSE AND DRY YOUR HANDS.

WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? During a traditional seder, we wash our hands twice: now, with no bless- ing, to get us ready for the rituals to come; and then again later, with a blessing, to prepare us for the meal. 9 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? “Yachatz” means “divide” in He- brew. In this portion of the seder, we break the middle matzah into two pieces, as a reminder that our world is not whole as long as there is suffering and injustice. The larg- er piece will be hidden. This piece is called the , literally “dessert” in Greek. After dinner, the guests will have to hunt for the afikoman in order to wrap up the meal… and win a prize.

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON)

This is the bread of affliction that our fathers ate in the land of Egypt.

All who are bent with hunger, come and eat.

All who are in dire straits, come share in Passover with us.

This year we are here, in mitzrayim; next year, in freedom.

— THE NEW AMERICAN HAGGADAH, ED. JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER, TRANS. NATHAN ENGLANDER

CLOSE THE DOOR. BREAK THE MIDDLE MATZAH AND WRAP THE LARGER HALF IN A CLOTH; THIS IS THE AFIKOMAN.

12 Yachatz OPEN THE DOOR AND LIFT UP MATZAH FOR ALL TO SEE. (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) On this night of doorways, the bread of our ancestors waits on our table.

It is easy to think of this round flat bread as a full moon, except the moon was once part of this planet and was ripped away and the seas keep longing for it and leaping upward.

The whole is already broken. The ball of the earth has its shifting tectonic plates; the skin has its pores where the air bores in. Everything whole in the world has an edge where it broke off something or was cut away. The bread we are about to break is already broken.

We want to think it and we are perfect, but the loaf is an illusion, a compromise with the shattering of light.

Yet maybe it’s in slow breaking that wholeness happens. Fallen cactus paddles fragment into fullness, the stem of the wildflower tears its way through the soil. The heart breaks as it grows.

You could call that wholeness: the movement of life toward a fuller version of itself, the egg releasing its core into the world, the tree lurching its way toward branches.

It’s the splitting of the sea that lets us out of Egypt: severed from the old self we thought invincible, we run toward a future that shatters the moment we enter it, becoming the multiple and unknown present. Bless the world that breaks to let you through it. Bless the gift of the grain that smashes its molecules to feed you over and over.

This Passover night, time is cracking open. Wholeness is not the egg; it’s the tap tap tap of the wet-winged baby bird trying to get out. Break the bread at the feast of liberation. Go ahead. Do it. The whole is already broken, and so are we, and freedom has to have its jagged edges. But keep one half for later, because this story isn’t whole, and isn’t over.

—THE VELVETEEN RABBI’S HAGGADAH, RABBI JILL HAMMER

11 Maggid - , mah nishtana, , or Four Ques , or Four (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) (TOGETHER, mah nishtanah ways that seder night was different. that seder night was ways THE WOMEN’S SEDER SOURCEBOOK THE FOUR QUESTIONS FOUR THE —MELISSA KLEIN, FROM —MELISSA KLEIN, FROM Why is this night of Passover different from all other nights of the year? from different is this night of Passover Why originally taught to them only if they did not know how to ask questions. originally taught to them only if they On all other nights we, do not dip even once, but on this night, we dip twice. On all other nights we, do not dip even tions. In the Mishnah’s account, after the pouring of the second cup of wine, of the second cup of wine, account, after the pouring tions. In the Mishnah’s Seder night is designed to shake us out of our ordinary ways of thinking. The ways us out of our ordinary to shake Seder night is designed which children today memorize in Hebrew and English to recite by rote, was memorize in Hebrew and English to recite by which children today into the origins of the seder rituals, including the of the seder rituals, including into the origins children at the table would begin asking questions, trying to make sense of the trying to make table would begin asking questions, children at the On all other nights, we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we eat only . On all other nights, we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we Mishnah, an ancient compilation of the Jewish oral tradition, gives us a glimpse gives tradition, oral compilation of the Jewish Mishnah, an ancient opening to discuss the messages of Passover. But the familiar text of But the familiar text opening to discuss the messages of Passover. On all other nights, we eat either sitting or reciling, but on this night we eat reclining. On all other nights, we eat either sitting or reciling, The children would then eagerly await the response to their questions, creating an The children would then eagerly await ED. RABBI SHARON COHEN ANISFIELD, TARA MOHR, & CATHERINE SPECTOR MOHR, & CATHERINE TARA COHEN ANISFIELD, RABBI SHARON ED. On all other nights, we eat either or matzah, but on this night we eat only matzah. On all other nights, we eat either chametz or matzah, but on this 14 See the text of the haggadah itself. of the See the text WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? HAPPENING WHAT’S 13 - - but even — the place.” the place.” (SEDER LEADER) (SEDER (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) (TOGETHER, WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? WHAT’S and the trouble would be averted. and the trouble would be averted. “Maggid” means “the telling” in the traditional haggadah, this section linear a in Passover of story the tell doesn’t fashion. Instead, we get an impressionis stories and images, songs, of collection tic from the Exodus story and from over celebrations Pass through the centuries. but I know the place and I can say the prayer.” the prayer.” say but I know the place and I can A STORY ABOUT STORIES A STORY Then it fell to Rabbi Israel of Rizhyn to overcome to overcome of Rizhyn Then it fell to Rabbi Israel light the fire, I do not know the prayer, but I know prayer, light the fire, I do not know the — THE RHEINGOLD FAMILY HAGGADAH (1994) HAGGADAH — THE RHEINGOLD FAMILY had occasion for the same reason to intercede with had occasion for the same reason Tov, saw misfortune threatening the Jews, it was his saw Tov, FILL THE CUPS WITH WINE A SECOND TIME. WITH WINE A SECOND FILL THE CUPS There he would light a special fire, say a special prayer, prayer, a special fire, say There he would light a special spoke to God: “I am unable to light the fire and I do not spoke All I can do is tell the story, and this must be sufficient.” and this must be sufficient.” All I can do is tell the story, Later, when his disciple, the Rabbi Maggid of Mezritch, Later, When the founder of modern Hasidism, the Baal Shem When the founder of modern Hasidism, heaven, he would go to the same place in the forest and he would go to the same place in the heaven, We have now reached the longest portion of the seder! portion of reached the longest now have We misfortune. Sitting in his house, his head in his hands, he custom to go into a certain part of the forest to meditate. custom to go into a certain part Still later, Rabbi Moshe-Leib of Sasov, in order to save the in order to save of Sasov, Rabbi Moshe-Leib Still later, Jewish people, would go into the forest and say: “I cannot forest and say: Jewish people, would go into the say: “Master of the Universe, listen! I cannot light the fire, “Master of the Universe, say: know the prayer; I cannot even find the place in the forest. I cannot even know the prayer; Please, feel free to fortify yourself throughout, with wine or food. with wine throughout, yourself feel free to fortify Please, Maggid (SEDER LEADER) Thank you. Now, as we embark in earnest on our journey through the Exodus, let’s keep each of these in mind. If any related thoughts or ques- tions surface for you along the way, please share!

THE EXODUS

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) — A HAGGADAH OF LIBERATION, KADIMA, SEATTLE AFFILIATE, As all good term papers do, we start with the main idea: NEW JEWISH AGENDA

We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt. Now we are free.

We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and wrested free were we, by the Lord God-of-Us, lifted out of that place in the mighty hand of an outstretched arm. And if the Holy One, blessed is He, had not taken our fathers out of Egypt, then what of us? We, and our children, and our children’s children, would be enslaved to Pharaoh in Egypt. Were it that we were all learned and all enlightened, all of us rich with old age and well versed in the Torah, still the obligation to tell of the Exodus from Egypt would rest upon us.

— THE NEW AMERICAN HAGGADAH, ED. JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER, TRANS. NATHAN ENGLANDER

16 SHARE AND (IF POSSIBLE) ADD YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE SEDER TABLE. WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? Our sages teach that there is a part of each of the four children THE FOUR CHILDREN in us all. These different perspec- (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) tives prompt us to consider the After the mah nishtanah, the haggadah describes four kinds of children, who story of the Exodus from all an- view the seder in four different ways, and so ask different questions. gles.

The wise child asks: What does this This child should be taught all mean? - The innocent child asks: What is this? about the details of the seder. Talk This child should be answered plainly: with her about the nature of free We are remembering a long time ago dom and justice and about the need in another land when we became a free to act to transform the world. people. We celebrate that memory, because it teaches us values that we still hold dear today.

Then there is a child who does not know how to ask. The rebellious child asks, What and doesin so To this child, we must take the initiative, and say: This this even mean to all of you? - wondrous evening happens in the spring of every year, so doing isolates himself from the commu that we may remember how out of death and sorrow and nity. This child should be answered by slavery came life and joy and freedom. To remember the saying: Join us tonight. Be fully present. sorrow we eat bitter herbs; to remember the joy we drink Listen closely. Sing and read and dance sweet wine. Let us tell you the story of how it all came to and drink. Be with us, become a part of us. Then you will know what the seder means. be.

— A HAGGADAH OF LIBERATION, KADIMA, SEATTLE AFFILIATE, NEW JEWISH AGENDA

(SEDER LEADER) In short, our tradition teaches us that any question is a way in, that every question is an act of freedom, and that we should teach every person, as best we can, according to their needs. So, in the spirit of the original mah nishtanah, let’s truly make tonight different from all other nights, and ask new questions—the questions that we need answered in order to shape our unique journeys to freedom.

Let’s begin with the one I posed on the seder invitation itself. What object, text, image, or memory have you brought with you tonight that captures something in your life you wish to change or leave? Tell us: Why?

SHARE AND (IF POSSIBLE) ADD YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE SEDER TABLE. 15 Life as it is lived suffices... Let the intellect alone, it has its usefulness in its proper sphere, but let it not interfere with the flowing of the life-stream. If you are at all tempted to look into it, do so while letting it flow. The fact of flowing must under no circumstances be arrested or meddled with…No amount of wordy explanations will ever lead us into the nature of our own selves. The more you explain, the further it runs away from you. It is like trying to get hold of your own shadow.

Zen … must be directly and personally experienced by each of us in [their] inner spirit. Just as two stainless mirrors reflect each other, the fact and our own spirits must stand facing each other with no intervening agents. When this is done we are able to seize upon the living, pulsating fact itself. Freedom is an empty word until then.

— D.T. SUZUKI (1927)

18 (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) When our story begins, we had lived in exile in Egypt for generations, where we had fled a famine. Then a new Pharoah came to power. He saw a foreign people among his own, whose numbers were growing, and he was afraid. He ordered our people enslaved, and commanded all our newborn baby boys be killed. But the midwives had courage. They refused to do his bidding. In this way, Moses was born, set adraift on the Nile, where the Pharoah’s own daughter rescued him. He grew up in the palace, a child of privilege; but with time, he came to identify with his own people, the slaves.

from ESSAYS IN ZEN BUDDHISM This, however, is providential. For the more Zen in its essence is the art of seeing into the you suffer, the deeper grows your character, nature of one’s own being, and it points the and with the deepening of your character you way from bondage to freedom. By making us read more penetratingly into the secrets of life. drink right from the fountain of life, it liberates All great artists, all great religious leaders, and us from all the yokes under which we finite all great social reformers have come out of the beings are usually suffering in this world... intensest struggles which they fought gravely, quite frequently in tears and with bleeding This body of ours is something like an electric hearts. Unless you eat your bread in sorrow, battery in which a mysterious power latently you cannot taste of real life. lies. When this power is not properly brought into operation, it either grows mouldy and [...] We are too ego-centered. The ego-shell in withers away or is warped and expresses itself which we live is the hardest thing to outgrow... abnormally. It is the object of Zen, therefore, We are however given many chances to break to save us from going crazy or being crippled. through this shell [and the first is] the first time This is what I mean by freedom, giving free play the ego really comes to recognize the “oth- to all the creative and benevolent impulses er.” An ego, entire and undivided, now begins inherently lying in our hearts. Generally, we to feel a sort of split in itself. Love makes the are blind to this fact, that we are in possession ego lose itself in the object it loves, and yet at of all the necessary faculties that will make us the same time it wants to have the object as happy and loving towards one another. All the its own… The greatest bulk of literature ever struggles that we see around us come from produced in this world is but the harping on this ignorance… When the cloud of ignorance the same string of love, and we never seem to disappears… we see for the first time into the grow weary of it. But… through the awaken- nature of our own being.... ing of love we get a glimpse into the infinity of things… When the ego-shell is broken and the Life, as most of us live it, is suffering. There “other” is taken into its own body, we can say is no denying that fact... Did not everyone of that the ego has denied itself or that the ego us come to this world screaming and in a way has taken its first steps towards the infinite. protesting? Growth is always attended with pain. Teething is more or less a painful process. [...] When it comes to the question of life itself Puberty is usually accompanied by a mental we cannot wait for the ultimate solution to be as well as physical disturbance. The growth of offered by the intellect, even if it could do so. the organism called society is also marked with We cannot suspend even for a moment our painful cataclysms.... life-activity for philosophy to unravel its mys- teries. Let the mysteries remain as they are, but live we must… 17 That passage from To the Lighthouse echoed something of Woolf’s I already knew, her essay about walking that declared, “As we step out of the house on a fine evening between four and six, we shed the self our friends know us by and become part of that vast republican army of anonymous trampers...” For Woolf, getting lost was not a matter of geography so much as identity, a passionate desire, even an urgent need, to become no one and anyone, to shake off the shackles that remind you who you are, who others think you are.

— REBECCA SOLNIT

20 (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) One day, Moses lashed out in defense of a slave, and in his anger killed an Egyptian overseer. Afraid for his life, he fled far away to Midiyan. He would dwell there forty years, and though he arrived a stranger, lost and alone, the people there welcomed and embraced him.But even time and distance could not break his bond with his own people; and one day, the fire that was burning inside him—God’s voice, our tradition tells us—finally drove him home, back to Egypt, to mitzrayim, and to his people.

from “OPEN DOOR,” A FIELD GUIDE TO GETTING LOST

The question then is how to get lost. Never to Leave the door open for the unknown, the get lost is not to live, not to know how to get lost door into the dark. That’s where the most im- brings you to destruction, and somewhere in the portant things come from, where you yourself terra incognita in between lies a life of discov- came from, and where you will go. ery. “It is a surprising and memorable, as well as valuable, experience to be lost in the woods at Three years ago I was giving a workshop in the any time,” Thoreau wrote in Walden. “Not till we Rockies. A student came in bearing a quote are completely lost, or turned round,—for a man from what she said was the pre-Socratic phi- needs only to be turned round once with his eyes losopher Meno. It read, “How will you go about shut in this world to be lost,—do we appreciate finding that thing the nature of which is totally the vastness and strangeness of nature. Not till unknown to you?” I copied it down, and it has we are lost, in other words, not till we have lots stayed with me since... It struck me as the basic the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and tactical question in life. The things we want realize where we are and the infinite extent of our are transformative, and we don’t know or only relations.” Lose the whole world, he asserts, get think we know what is on the other side of that lost in it, and find your soul. transformation. Love, wisdom, grace, inspira- tion—how do you go about finding these things I carried Meno’s question around with me for that are in some ways about extending the years and then, out of the blue, May sent me a boundaries of the self into unknown territory, long passage by Virginia Woolf. It was about a about becoming someone else? mother and wife alone at the end of a long day: “For now she need not think about anybody. She The word “lost” comes from the Old Norse los, could be herself, by herself. And that was what now meaning the disbanding of an army, and this she often felt the need of—to think; well, not even origin suggests soldiers falling out of forma- to think. To be silent; to be alone. All the being and tion to go home, a truce with the wide world... the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; There’s [an] art of being at home in the un- and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity, to being known, so that being in its midst isn’t cause for oneself, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something panic or suffering, of being at home with being invisible to others. Although she continued to knit, lost. Lost [is] mostly a state of mind, and this and sat upright, it was thus that she felt herself; and applies as much to all the metaphysical and this self having shed its attachments was free for the metaphorical states of being lost as to blun- strangest adventures. When life sank down for a mo- dering around in the backcountry. ment, the range of experience seemed limitless....” 19 (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Now at last our ancestors saw that they could use the plagues as cover to leave Egypt; and so we fled, in haste, before our bread had time to rise, under the cover of darkness, out into the wilderness where we reached the sea. Many Israelites simply could not make the plunge, and so remained behind; but for those who did choose to go, it was their fundamental leap of faith that brought forth our people’s freedom. Only when we had gone as far as we could on our own did the waters part for us. Only because of those brave souls are we here, celebrating, tonight.

from “FAIL SAFE,” LOOK BOTH WAYS : ILLUSTRATED ESSAYS ON THE INTERSECTION OF LIFE AND DESIGN For most of my adult life, I traveled a safe path. I remember in vivid detail the mo- ment I began my journey: August 1983, the hot muggy summer of David Bowie’s Modern Love and Synchronicity by the Police.

A few months after I graduated college, I stood on the corner of Seventh Avenue and Bleeker Street in New York City, wearing pastel blue trousers, a hot pink V-neck tee shirt, and bright white Capezio oxfords. I lingered at the intersection, peering deep into my future, and contemplated the choice between the secure and the uncertain, between the creative and the logical, between the known and the unknown. I dreamed of being a successful artist, but inasmuch as I knew what I wanted, I felt compelled to consider what was reasonable in order to ensure my economic security. Even though I wanted what my best friend once referred to as the whole wide world, I thought it was prudent to compromise. I told myself it was more sensible to aspire for success that was realistically attainable, perhaps even failure-proof. It never once occurred to me that I could succeed at what I dreamed of.

As I look back on this decision nearly thirty years later, I try to soothe myself with this rationale. I grew up in an atmosphere of emotional and financial disarray, so my impulse as a young woman was to be tenaciously self-sufficient. As a result, I’ve lived within a fairly fixed set of possibilities. I am not an artist; I am a brand consultant. I don’t work alone, painting canvases and sculpting clay. I work in a bustling skyscraper and create logos for fast-food restaurants.

I am not profoundly unhappy with what has transpired in the years leading up to today....But I know deep in my heart that I settled. And I’ve come to a realization over the years: I am not the only person who has made this choice. I discovered these common, self-imposed restrictions are rather insidious, though they start out simple enough. We begin by worrying that we aren’t good enough, that we’re not smart enough or talented enough to get what we want. And then we volun- tarily live in this paralyzing mental framework, rather than confront our own role in this self-fulfilling paralysis. Just the possibility of failing turns into something self-fulfilling. We begin to believe that these personal restrictions are in fact fixed limitations of the world. We go on to live our lives, all the while wondering what we can change and how we can change it. And we calculate and re-calculate when we’ll be ready to do the things that we really want to do. And we dream. If only. If only. 22 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? As we recite the plagues, we pour out ten drops of wine, to show our joy is THE TEN PLAGUES diminished by the suffering of others. (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Upon his return, Moses confronted the Pharoah and demanded he let the Israelites go free. But the Pharaoh only escalated our oppres- sion; and in turn, our people shunned Moses as a trouble-maker. Then suddenly environmental disasters ensued, plague after plague, each worse than the last; and finally Moses was able to convince both our people and the Pharaoh that these disasters were intentional plagues, brought forth on our behalf by God.

FOR EACH PLAGUE, DIP A FINGER IN YOUR WINE AND CAST A DROP ON YOUR PLATE.

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON)

BLOOD

FROGS

LICE

A MAELSTROM OF BEASTS

PESTILENCE

BOILS

HAIL-FULL-OF-FIRE

LOCUSTS

A CLOTTED DARKNESS

THE SLAYING OF THE FIRST BORN

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Let’s pause here for a moment, because even though we celebrate our liberation tonight, it’s important that we recognize that our freedom came with a price, it was won at the expense of others’ suffering. We cannot push that hard truth out of our history; but we can learn, and do better today, by not pushing away the pain that diminishes our freedom even now. We have recited the Ten Plagues of Egypt...what about the Ten Plagues of our time? What are the troubles that threaten our world and well-being today?

CALL THEM OUT! CAST OUT MORE DROPS OF WINE. 21 24 — DEBBIE MILLMAN (2013) 23 THE SECOND CUP

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS)

In every generation, each of us is obligated to see ourselves BLACKBIRD as if we had been personally freed from Mitzrayim. Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life INFIRM You were only waiting for this moment to arise. Everybody here is infirm. Blackbird singing in the dead of night Everybody here is infirm. Take these sunken eyes and learn to see All your life Oh. Mend me. Mend me. Lord. Today I You were only waiting for this moment to be free. say to them Blackbird fly, blackbird fly say to them Into the light of the dark black night. say to them, Lord; Blackbird fly, blackbird fly look! I am beautiful, beautiful with Into the light of the dark black night. my wing that is wounded my eye that is bonded Blackbird singing in the dead of night or my car not funded or my walk all a wobble. Take these broken wings and learn to fly I’m enough to be beautiful. All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise You are You were only waiting for this moment to arise beautiful too. You were only waiting for this moment to arise

— GWENDOLYN BROOKS — THE BEATLES

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON) With this blessing, we lift our wine, our symbol of liberation, in honor of ourselves—we who have everything we need right here, within us, to break free. DRINK THE SECOND CUP OF WINE!

26

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Dayenu is the song of our gratitude! Literally translat- ed, it means “it would have been enough”; and tradi- tionally, at this point in the seder, we would sing the well-known Passover song that recounts the fifteen great deeds God performed for the Israelites on their (TOGETHER, IN UNISON, IN SONG) journey to freedom:

BLACKBIRD If He had brought us out from Egypt, Blackbird singing in the dead of night and had not carried out judgments against them— Take these broken wings and learn to fly Dayenu, it would have been enough! All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise. If He had given us the Torah, and had not brought us into the land of Israel— Dayenu, it would have been enough! Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these sunken eyes and learn to see If He had brought us into the land of Israel, All your life and had not built for us the Temple— You were only waiting for this moment to be free. Dayenu, it would have been enough!

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly And so on, each verse affirming that any one Into the light of the dark black night. miracle would be worthy of our gratitude.

But there is another message in this prayer for us as Blackbird fly, blackbird fly well. Part of what Passover calls us to do spiritually Into the light of the dark black night. is to loosen the chains of bondage that we put on ourselves—to break free of the voices in our heads Blackbird singing in the dead of night that tell us we are not doing enough, working hard Take these broken wings and learn to fly enough, spending enough time with our children, All your life friends, family; perhaps that we ourselves are not You were only waiting for this moment to arise enough. You were only waiting for this moment to arise Dayenu! It is enough. YOU are enough. Whatever it You were only waiting for this moment to arise is, let the anxiety go and realize that yes, dayenu, each step of the journey, however small, no matter how — THE BEATLES hard, is worthy of gratitude. Let us celebrate this feast of freedom by freeing ourselves. Let go, sing, and toast to the things you have accomplished, the love you give to others, and the very fact that you exist. Dayenu! That is enough.

— RABBI REBECCA SIRBU, WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? RABBIS WITHOUT BORDERS In a traditional seder, the song Dayenu reflects gratitude for all that God did for the Israelites during the Exodus and throughout their desert journey. 25 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? The traditional hamotzi blessing marks the formal start of a meal. (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Because we are using matzah in- Why do we eat matzah? Because during stead of bread, we add a blessing the Exodus, our ancestors had no time celebrating this mitzvah. to wait for dough to rise. So they impro- vised flat cakes without yeast, which could be baked and consumed in haste.

Matzah, like all bread, represents the culmination of the work of many hands. Others plant the seeds, harvest the grain, grind the flour, bake the bread and deliver the loaves to our homes. But un- like bread, matzah also reminds us that when the chance for liberation comes, we must seize it, even if we do not feel ready—indeed, if we wait until we feel Rachtzah fully ready, we may never act at all.

With this blessing over matzah we recognize that our journey to freedom is shared by others, and that we are not alone.

EVERYONE EATS A PIECE OF MATZAH.

THOSE WHO WISH, WASH YOUR HANDS. TOGETHER, WE FILL ’S CUP.

Motzi-Matzah28 Rachtzah

VOICES OVER WATER There are spirits that come back to us (TOGETHER IN TURNS) when we have grown into another age As we transition from the formal telling we recognize them just as they leave us of the Passover story to the celebratory we remember them when we cannot hear them meal, we once again wash our hands. some of them come from the bodies of birds This time, let us remember the story of some arrive unnoticed like forgetting Miriam, sister to Moses, who led the they do not recall earlier lives Israelites in song and dance at the and there are distant voices still hoping to find us parting of the Red Sea. Legend also tells — W.S. MERWIN us that a well followed Miriam through the desert, sustaining the Jews in their wanderings. Filled with mayim chayim, THOSE WHO WISH, WASH YOUR HANDS. waters of life, the well was a source of TOGETHER, WE FILL MIRIAM’S CUP. strength and renewal to all who drew from it.

In her honor, we fill a cup with water from our own glasses, sustaining her as she sustained us.

WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? A good meal together with friends and family is itself a sacred act, so we prepare for it just as we prepared for our holiday ritual. Motzi-Matzah 27 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? Starting in the 1980s, this symbol (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) has been showing up on an ev- Why do we eat the or- er-increasing number of Passover ange? Because it reminds tables, announcing that those on us that when the Israel- oranges, but I’ll also choose the margins—lesbian, gay, trans- ites left Egypt, the Torah gender, and non-binary Jews, as which orange — I’ll test tells us their traveling well as women—have fully arrived a few for firmness party was erev rav, or “a as coauthors of Jewish history. scrape some rind off mixed multitude.” The orange symbolizes our with my fingernail tradition’s ability to grow This is how I will choose so that a citrus scent and thrive, to embrace queerness, in all its you: by feeling you will linger there all day. I won’t be happy definitions; and smelling you, by slipping celebrates our mixed you into my coat. multitude, for we know with the first one I pick that the more diverse and Maybe then I’ll climb but will try different ones inclusive our community the hill, look down until I know you. How becomes, the more on the town we live in will I know you? optimistic we can be with sunlight on my face about what the future You’ll feel warm holds for us all. and a miniature sun between my palms burning a hole in my pocket. and I’ll cup you like ORANGES Thirsty, I’ll suck the juice a handful of holy water. I’ll choose for myself next time from it. From you. Koreich A vision will come to me who I’ll reach out and take as mine, in the way When I walk away of your exotic land: the sun I might stand at a fruit stall I’ll leave behind a trail you swelled under of lamp-bright rind. the tree you grew from. having decided — ROISIN KELLY A drift of white blossoms to ignore the apples from the orange tree the mangoes and the kiwis will settle in my hair but hold my hands above and I’ll know. a pile of oranges as if to warm my skin before a fire. Not only have I chosen

30 Tapuz WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? A traditional haggadah might quote Rabbi Gamliel, who said that those who did not explain te three main symbols on the table (the pesach, matzah, and maror) had not done Passover justice. was added after his time!

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Why is there a shank bone on the table tonight? It represents the lamb sacri- fice made in the days of the Temple for the Passover holiday, called the pesach, Koreichfrom the Hebrew word meaning “to pass over,” because God passed over the houses of our ancestors in Egypt when visiting plagues upon our oppressors.

Why do we eat the bitter herb tonight? After the first taste of horseradish burns, there are tears of sorrow—and cleansing. Before we can be truly free from enslavement, we must first look deeply at it, to feel the horror, the sad- ness, the anger. But when we have done this, rather than cling to our pain, let us begin to let it go. Let us try to surrender some measure of our pain, and stretch ourselves to a new understanding of our power. As we do this, we be- come a free people, with all of the joy and responsibility that brings.

Why do we eat charoset? Because by mixing the fruits and spices of the earth, we embody the tastes and smells of the the springtime when flowers rise up against winter, when love springs forth from the depths of depression, and the night-time of history gives way to the sunlight of Eden, the garden of delight— the Earth and human earthlings at loving peace with one another.

Eating the two together, we remind ourselves to be mindful of life with all its sweetness and bitterness, and to seek balance between the two.

— ADAPTED FROM RABBI DANYA RUTTENBERG, THE WOMEN’S SEDER SOURCE- BOOK; THE MLK+50 INTERFAITH FREEDOM SEDER, THE SHALOM CENTER

EVERYONE EATS SOME MAROR AND CHAROSET ON SOME MATZAH.

29 Shulchan Oreich Shulchan

(SEDER LEADER) EVERYONE EATS OreichTime to eat! AN ORANGE SLICE. Before enjoy our meal, did the story of our journey from slavery to freedom spark any thoughts or questions for you?*

Let’s talk about them over dinner! This is not your normal dinner-time conver- sation, but it is a conversation we must have, at least once in a while.

(And don’t forget when we’re done, we’ve got a little more seder to go, including the final two cups of wine!)

*If not, here are a few questions to kick us off:

When in your life have you felt most free? What stories of freedom have been passed down to you and yours? What is your vision of a world with more freedom? What is one wild hope you have for yourself or the world this next year? 31 KEEPING THINGS WHOLE In a field Tzafun I am the absence of field. This is always the case. Wherever I am I am what is missing.

When I walk I part the air and always the air moves in to fill the spaces where my body’s been.

We all have reasons for moving. I move to keep things whole.

— MARK STRAND

34 Tzafun (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) (SEDER LEADER) You do not magically arrive in the land of self-love and confidence The time has come to end by accident. You did not survive the traumas of your childhood the seder. But to do that, because you were lucky. You survived and are thriving because of we first need to find the your courage and resilience. Not luck. Not coincidence. You. afikoman! (And, once it is found, the real dessert is You know why? Because you’re a survivor. You have done incred- waiting in the kitchen.) ibly well against many odds. And you’ve done that, in part, by refusing to allow old wounds of yours to rule your life. Well done. SEARCH FOR THE I’m proud of you. You made it this far, but there’s further to go. You AFIKOMAN! can’t yet love yourself because there’s more work to do and it has to do with healing the things that have hurt you. You’re now strong enough to take a deeper look at that. ONCE FOUND, EVERY- ONE EATS A LTITLE BIT. Some of the bad stories we tell ourselves begin as good stories. Those stories serve us well. They are also, often, necessary stories. Optimism allows us to move forward rather than wallow in sor- row. But stories are always up for revision. You’ve reached a point in your life where you can no longer ignore the unresolved feelings of trauma from your past. To get to the bottom of those, you have to go back to the beginning.

The way we cut ourselves slack is by owning a more complicated narrative. By holding two opposing truths in one hand—that we’re doing great, and also that we struggle—we give ourselves the opportunity to engage more honestly with our own healing and growth process. WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? And it is a process. We cannot will ourselves to wholeness, but Earlier, during Yachatz, we hid a we can gentle ourselves to it. We do that by doing precisely what piece of matzah called the Afi- we’re doing here tonight: by remaining emotionally awake to all of koman. The seder cannot official- our stories—hard, sad, happy, beautiful and true. Not just now, but ly end until we have found it, the for all the days of our lives. bread of our liberation, and every- one has had a taste. In this way, — ADAPTED FROM CHERYL STRAYED, AND STEVE ALMOND, the afikoman will help us conclude DEAR SUGARS ADVICE COLUMN the ritual and become whole again. 33 Bareich

THE THIRD CUP

(TOGETHER, IN TURNS) This cup is not just a drink, it is a cup of memory, a cup of retelling and a cup of hope. They crowd around our tables that we set with their china. They watch us with eyes that know eternity.

from THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK It’s really a wonder I haven’t dropped all of my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impos- sible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into wilderness, I hear the ever ap- proaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the suffering of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and my tranquility will return again. In the meantime, I must uphold my ideals, for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out. — ANNE FRANK

Let’s dedicate this cup of wine to all the people who, throughout history, have fought and lost their lives defending the ideals of freedom—often by simply being alive, simply daring to live free.

WE LIFT OUR GLASSES, AND DRINK THE THIRD CUP OF WINE!

36 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? Tradition holds that the proph- et Elijah will return in advance of messianic days to herald a new era ELIJAH’S CUP of peace, so we set a place for Eli- (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) jah at many joyous, hopeful Jew- Will somebody please open the door? ish occasions, such as a baby’s bris and the . OPEN THE DOOR. RETURN TO YOUR SEAT.

This is Elijah’s cup. We set aside this cup and open the door to welcome him.

Three thousand years ago, a farmer appeared out of obscurity to challenge the elite ruling class who had forgotten the people and their faith. He seems to have been the equivalent of a mountain man—at home in wild places, perhaps even more comfortable there. He was fed by ravens, spent his nights in trees, and performed miracles, ultimately restoring the Temple altar after its desacration by the priests of Ba’al. Like Enoch, he was taken up in a whirlwind in a chariot with horses of fire, rewarded at the end of his natural life by a process of Bareich transformation so that he did not taste death. According to tradition, Elijah is expected to return three days or three years before the Messiah comes. Over the centuries he became a mystical figure who would appear to Jews in times of trouble, to help the poor, to fight for justice. Since he never really died, many believed him to enjoy a special existence where he could appear or disappear on earth. There are many tales of Elijah materializing to right some wrong, often unrecognized—a kind of superhero for poor Jews, appearing and leaving like the Lone Ranger. Over time, he became associated with the seder, the door opened for him in case he should appear. On Passover, he is said to vist every Jewish house where there is a seder, and sip there from his cup of wine....

Not only is this the time when we traditionally recognize Elijah, many seders take this mo- ment to look back and remember those we have lost, both in our own lives and in our history. This year, especially, with the loss of eleven lives at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh; fifty lives at the Al Noor Mosque and Linwood Islamic Centre in Christchurch; and the recent burnings of the Mount Pleasant, St. Mary, and Greater Union Baptist Churches in St. Landry Parish, Louisiana, we know that Elijah’s cup and seat are the not the only ones empty tonight. Tonight, we fill this cup in honor of their memories, too. — ADAPTED FROM PESACH FOR THE REST OF US, MARGE PIERCY

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON) Elijah the Prophet, let him come with speed and in our days, with the Messiah and a world of peace, at his heels.

FILL ELIJAH’S CUP WITH WINE. FILL OUR OWN CUPS WITH WINE FOR THE THIRD TIME.

35 WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? Praise the bound notebook and what is within. It is traditional at this point in the Praise the ACLU. Praise kitchen-table conspiracies. seder to sing songs of praise. Praise insomnia. Praise our hunger. Praise days we are the bread. Praise farmers’ markets. Praise Greta Thunberg, and Mother Earth. Praise Schrödinger and praise his cat. Praise talking snakes. Praise run-on sentences. Praise what are the odds? Praise jumping in. Praise the best minds of any generation. Praise Claudette Colvin and Cesar Chavez. Praise enough is enough. Praise Christine Blasey Ford. Praise her admirers. Praise Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Ilhan Omar. Praise me, too. Praise those who remember what they are told to forget. Praise the body’s wild intelligence. Praising the wandering Jew. Praise getting satisfaction. Praise our pronouns, plain and simple. Praise untouchables, partisans, and riffraff. Hallel Praise slackers. Praise hackers. Praise those who talk back. Praise sympathy for the devil. Praise the mothers of the disappeared. Praise mothers of the found. Praise Planned Parenthood and the siren song. Praise singers and psalm-makers, Selena, Beyonce, and Cardi B. Praise realists and Cubists. Praise prohibitionists and remorse. Praise nude beaches. Praise not looking away. Praise hitting your head against the wall. Praise giving peace a chance. Praise conspiracies. Praise free elections. Praise mutiny. Praise our hearts on our sleeves. Praise backyard whiskey and those who cook with fire. Praise Kahlo and Mapplethorpe amd Michelangelo. Praise starting from scratch. Praise atheists. Praise playing footsy under the table. Praise street puppets and LSD and stealing this poem. Praise what we are not supposed to praise. Praise the electrical storm and the still small voice. Praise all the proverbs of hell. Praise those who see it coming. Praise those who do it anyway. Praise whatever happens next. — ADAPTED FROM SUE SWARTZ

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON) With this blessing, we lift our glasses, and toast together—L’CHAIM! TO LIFE!

DRINK THE FOURTH CUP OF WINE!

38 Hallel THE FOURTH CUP

FILL THE CUPS WITH WINE A FOURTH TIME.

(TOGETHER, EACH TURN NO MORE THAN A LINE) PRAISE THE CONTRARY AND ITS DEFENDERS Praise rising up. Praise unlawful assembly. Praise the road of excess and the palace of wisdom. Praise glass houses and the hand that cradles the stone. Praise Galileo. Praise acceleration. Praise the medium and the message. Praise en masse and the pull of a straight line. Praise outside agitators and inside jobs. Praise Stacey Abrams. Praise her anger and praise her restraint. Praise living your life. Praise Joan of Arc. Praise wayward daughters, and praise their wayward sons. Praise the power of indulgence. Praise Ben Franklin and his almanac. Praise the nail and praise the printing press. Praise the First Amendment. Praise free verse. Praise illicit beauty, yellow sunflowers. and red wheelbarrows. Praise the poets of Guantanamo. Praise the poets at the border. Praise the noisy midnight streets. Praise the crazy birds at dawn and praise their woven nests. Praise Isaac Newton. Praise the apple. 37 (SEDER LEADER) Tonight, let’s close the seder with those questions instead.

Who are you? Where are you coming from? Where are you going?

Take the time to ruminate and answer thoughtfully— and to surprise yourself, with where you may have journeyed tonight, or might set forth tomorrow.

EACH OF US ANSWERS THE THREE QUESTIONS, AS WE SEE FIT.

FILL THE CUPS WITH WINE A FINAL TIME.

(TOGETHER, IN UNISON) Next year, in Jerusalem!

FIN. (TOGETHER, IN TURNS) Here concludes the Passover seder, in accordance with its rules, all its laws and dictums. We have drunk the wine, and tasted the special foods. We have read and talked and sung. Just as we were fortunate enough to make this seder, so may we be fortunate enough to do it again.

There’s a Sefardic custom—Iraqi or Afghani, by most accounts—of asking three questions at the start of the Passover seder:

Who are you? Where are you coming from? Where are you going?

The traditional answers go (something) like this:

I am Yisrael. I am a god-wrestler. I’m someone who wrestles with the unknowable, with the holy, with my understanding of ultimate reality, and I expect it to wrestle back. I’m a wandering Aramean, and I’m wearing my traveling shoes. I’m a child of the house of Israel, and my community and I—and anyone else who hears freedom’s call—are walking into the wilderness together.

I am coming from Mitzrayim. From the narrow place. From slavery. From constriction. From the birth ca- nal. I’m coming from hard labor. I’m coming from the surfeit of sweetness that lulls me into forgetting the world’s imperfections. I’ve been settling for what hurts, for what is easy, too fearful to risk something Nirtzah new. I’m coming from addiction: to work, to irony, to separation, to provocation, to constantly comparing myself to others. I’m coming from, “if I stopped, I’m not even sure who I’d be.”

I am going to Yerushalayim. I’m going to WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE? Ir Shalem, the city of wholeness. I’m going to Nirtzah marks the conclusion of the seder. Our bel- Ir Shalom, the city of peace. I’m heading toward my lies are full, we have had several glasses of wine, we best imaginings of community and connection. I’m have told stories and sung songs, and now it is time moving toward the meaning of home. Maybe I’m for the evening to come to a close. At the end of the going to a place; maybe I’m going to a state of mind. seder, we honor the tradition of declaring, “Next Maybe it’s an asymptotic progression toward some- year in Jerusalem!” For some people, the recita- thing that can’t be reached. Maybe it’s the journey tion of this phrase expresses the anticipation of re- that defines me. But the moon is almost full: building the Temple in Jerusalem and the return of Tomorrow we’re packing our bags. Grabbing the the Messiah. For others, it is an affirmation of hope flatbread. And setting out. It’s time to go. and of connectedness with the whole of the Jewish community. Still others see it as a signal to embark on a year that we hope will bring positive change in the world and freedom to people everywhere. 39