Artemis Fowl Jump By Rokoran of the Sufficient Velocity Forums

+1000 CP

Welcome to the world of Artemis Fowl, where fairies are real and hiding deep in the Earth. For the next ten years, you’ll be caught up in plots and plans, running to and fro in an effort to stop the Lower Elements being revealed to humanity. Or you could just relax on a beach and let Artemis take care of it, whichever.

You arrive at the start of the first book

I. Origin

Drop-In (Free) You arrive as you were at the end of your last jump. No changes, no losses, no additions. You don’t have a new history and personality affecting your thought process, but neither do you have friends, contacts or even a legal existence.

Fairy (100) You are one of the residents of the Lower Elements. You may choose from: Elf, Dwarf, Goblin, Gnome, Pixie, Sprite or Centaur. Be careful, though, since you can’t enter a dwelling uninvited or you’ll lose your magic, and you’ll find yourself with a strange attraction to gold…

Fowl (100) You are a scion of the Fowl family, and Artemis’ sibling. You are rich, highly intelligent, and a master criminal. However, you’re also isolated and a little arrogant.

Butler (100) You are one of the legendary Butlers, the world’s greatest bodyguards. Taking this origin means you will replace Domovoi Butler as Artemis’ bodyguard.

Warlock (400) You are a Demon Warlock, hands-down the planet’s best magic-user, at least until No. 1 comes into his own, at which point it really depends on how hard you’ve worked. However, until Hybras is brought back into the timestream, you’re going to need to keep some silver on you at all times unless you want to be randomly cast through time and space. Given that this could well drop you in the centre of a sun, it’s probably best to be careful. Fortunately, you get a silver pendant for free.

For age, Drop-Ins may either keep their age from the end of the last jump or roll 1d8+20. Butlers roll the same, while a Fowl is 1d8+11. Fairies and Warlocks roll 1d8+20 and then multiply it by five. Any origin may pay 50CP to choose from the rollable results. II. Location Roll 1d8, or pay 50CP to choose.

1-2: Fowl Manor. A Fowl or Butler may start here for free. 3-4: The Lower Elements. A Fairy may start here for free. 5: Dublin. 6: Spiro Tower in America, owned by Jon Spiro. Better have a good explanation for what you’re doing here. 7: Hybras, the drifting island home of the demons. Time is variable here, so don’t be surprised if you need to use the bathroom four times in ten minutes or once in three weeks. A Warlock may start here for free. 8: Free Pick! Choose anywhere in the world, or under it.

III. Perks Discounted perks are 50% off.

Wings (Free Sprite; 100) You have wings, and can fly unaided. If you’re not a sprite, expect to be the object of a great deal of curiosity.

Tunnelling (Free Dwarf; 100) You can tunnel by unhinging your jaw and chewing through the earth in front of you, filtering it through an extremely robust digestive system to strip out any useful minerals, and… expelling it at the other end to propel you along. As a side-effect, you can now eat almost anything, and your teeth are like iron. On the flip-side, Dwarf Gas.

Blue Diamond (Free Butler, Humans Only; 100) You have the Blue Diamond tattoo, the mark accorded to only the greatest bodyguards. Finding work in the field of personal protection will be as simple as baring your shoulder, and the world’s wealthy elite will happily pay exorbitant sums for your services.

This perk comes with all the knowledge that the tattoo denotes – grand-master level martial arts, bodyguarding, cooking, driving, espionage and a dozen other things, as well as the ability to keep a cool head no matter what the situation.

Mastermind (Free Fowl, Discount Pixie; 100) You are smart. Scary smart – one of the world’s top minds, capable of layering plans within plans and pulling cons on entire civilisations. You have doctorate-level knowledge in an extremely wide range of subjects, and are familiar with all leading theories and research.

Eccentric Genius (Free Centaur, Discount Drop-In; 100) Much like the Mastermind, you’re incredibly smart, but rather than a cold, calculating snake, you’re more of a hyperactive rabbit – bouncing around from one project to the next, working in fits and starts as inspiration hits you and then flies away once again. Regardless of your apparent scatterbrained-ness, you are really incredibly sharp and on the ball, fully capable of matching the Mastermind blow-for-blow in a battle of wits. As a side-effect, your success at inventing is drastically increased.

Comes with a free tinfoil hat.

Amiable (Free Warlock; 100) You are the most nonthreatening, likeable guy (or girl) anyone has ever seen. Your sheer easygoingness makes you just blend into the background, and even when you’re the star of the show things just seem to drift along whimsically. This, of course, makes it all the more alarming when you suddenly start busting heads.

You can expect to be dismissed as a threat with great regularity unless you repeatedly and openly prove yourself one. When combined with Eccentric Genius, this makes you the stereotypical Crazy Professor, toddling around your lab muttering to yourself – until you break out the Doom Ray 9000 and the evil laughter.

Officer of the Law (Discount Fairy; 200) You are a legally-recognised law enforcement officer. For a fairy, this means being part of the LEP, while humans might be members of an international law-enforcement agency like Interpol. Comes with the knowledge of procedure and regulation you need to fulfil your duty. In addition, your superiors are strangely tolerant of your eccentricities and tendency to drop off the radar for days or even weeks at a time, just so long as you get the job done.

Fairies will find themselves working alongside Holly Short a surprisingly – some would even say suspiciously – large fraction of the time.

Tech-Head (Free Centaur, Discount Fowl and Drop-In; 200) You are very, very good with technology. Expect to do things like casually reverse-engineer technology a hundred or more years more advanced than anything you’ve ever seen over the course of an afternoon, then improve on it the next day.

Light-Fingered (Discount Dwarf; 200) In the world of thievery, professional thieves gather in shady bars and whisper about the latest exploits of a few select names. When those names gather, it’s you they whisper about. You are a burglar without compare, capable of feats of kleptomania that another could only dream of.

Covert Opertions (Discount Butler and Officer of the Law; 400) You are the final word in commando and spy work. HALO insertion, swimming five miles in a storm, slipping through a heavily guarded border or perimeter, and other such endeavours are all in a day’s work for you. In addition, you become an incredible marksman, capable of hitting with perfect accuracy from half again the range of a lesser sniper.

Plotter (Discount Fowl and Drop-In; 400) You know your way around the criminal world, and you’ve got your fingers in many pies. In addition, you are capable of layering plans inside plans inside plans, so that you always have a contingency, and a contingency for that contingency. You can come up with plans on the spot that would take a lesser man days to work out, and as a bonus your understanding of tactics is greatly enhanced.

Pyrokinesis (Free Goblin; 400) You can create and control reasonable amounts of fire, enough to toss around fireballs, but not much more. You also have an impressive level of heat resistance. If you already have fire powers, this ability gives you enhanced control over them. If you practice diligently, you might well raise your capability…

Formulae (Discount Warlock; 600; Requires Magic) Magic circles and inscriptions, the significance of numbers, dates and stars – all of these and more are within your grasp. You are capable of powerful feats of ritual magic, such as erecting wards to last a millennium or binding the spirits of the dead as eternal guardians.

Descendant of the Elven King (Discount Elf; 600) Your ancestry can be traced back to Frond, the great Elven King. Your magic, if you have it, is noticeably enhanced, along with your looks and charisma, though intelligence remains unaffected. Politically, you might as well be fairy royalty, and you’ll find yourself in all the important circles simply by virtue of being you.

Consummate Professional (Discount Butler; 600) You are the best. There is no other who can compare, even among the recognised great bodyguards and warriors. Your reactions are sharp enough to catch a fly in midair, your conditioning great enough and your martial arts skilled enough to defeat a Troll singlehandedly, and your situational awareness sensitive enough that you can detect a fairy even invisible. Your marksmanship is also significantly increased – if you also took Covert Operations, you are likely the world’s greatest sniper, and certainly in the top three.

Magic (Free Fairy and Warlock; 800) You have magic. It can, depending on what species you are, do a variety of things. Elves, for example, can heal, turn invisible, hypnotise people, and more, while Warlocks are capable of great workings that can shape the course of history. Other types of fairy have weaker magic, but then, their talents lie elsewhere.

A human who has magic does not start with any idea of what he can do, since humans lost their powers long ago, but if the legends of such as Merlin are even halfway true you might well be able to go toe-to-toe with a Warlock if you take it seriously… IV. Gear Discounted Gear is 50% off.

Money (50) You have £10,000 – a tidy sum. Fowls start with all the money they could ever possibly spend, and then some. Buzz Baton (Free Fairy Officer of the Law; 50) A police baton that can stun or harm, capable of outputting up to 10,000 volts.

Sig Sauer (Free Butler; 100) A powerful pistol, capable of taking someone’s head off in one shot, according to Foaly. Comes with 500 rounds.

Dart Finger (100) A memory-latex finger-glove containing a concealed launching mechanism for a tranquiliser dart, the Dart Finger is a covert weapon perfect for quiet, non-lethal takedowns. However, it’s unfortunately easy to forget that you have it on…

Sonic Grenades (100) Small sticky grenades that release powerful soundwaves capable of rupturing eardrums and shattering teeth. You get twenty, refreshing in the Warehouse every time you use them all up.

Concusser (100) A small, silver sphere that knocks anyone who looks at it out for about an hour. You get ten, refreshing in the Warehouse every time you use them all up. They only have a three-second fuse, so be careful with them.

Neutrino 2000 (Free Fairy Officer of the Law; 150) A weapon restricted to the LEP, the Neutrino 2000 is a fairy stun weapon powered by a nuclear cell, giving it effectively infinite ammunition. Has four settings – the lowest, often referred to as “Scorched” is akin to a taser, causing brief paralysis in fairies. The second, “Well Done” is more powerful, and most likely begins to cause pain. The third “Crisped to a Cinder” is significantly stronger, and in fact can cause minor burns and knock someone out for eight hours. There is also a fourth setting, for which no slang name has been given, but is powerful enough to possibly cause brain damage. It is likely that use of this setting is restricted.

Softnose Laser (Discount Drop-In; 200) A dangerous, lethal weapon that fires a speed-inhibited laser. Originally used for mining purposes, it was quickly adapted into a weapon. This particular Softnose has been adapted to run on a modern fairy nuclear cell. Illegal in the Lower Elements, so be careful.

SafetyNet (Discount Butler; 200) A watch that projects a one-meter-radius forcefield capable of deflecting Neutrino, Bouncer and Softnose shots, along with more conventional weaponry. Has a very limited battery life, but has been fitted with the same kinetics-harnessing power source as the Neutrino 3000, recharging as you move.

Bouncer (200) Similar to the Softnose, a Bouncer is a wide-bore, low-frequency laser designed for tunnel wars. Its shots will repeatedly ricochet from surface to surface until it hits a living being, to which it will do severe damage if not outright kill them. Also adapted to run on a nuclear cell, and also illegal. Sniper Rifle (Discount Butler, 200) A silenced sniper rifle with a telescopic night-vision scope and bipod. Comes with 100 rounds.

Assault Rifle (Discount Butler, 200) An automatic assault rifle, for when you need to lay down some serious firepower. Comes with 2,000 rounds.

DNA Cannons (300) Automated defence turrets that target hostiles based on DNA sequence. You get a set of ten which you can use to augment any recurring property you own. They automatically update their IFF based on your allies of the moment.

Neutrino 3000 (Discount Fairy Officer of the Law; 300) A significant upgrade from the Neutrino 2000, you’ll be getting one before they were even developed. It has at least five settings, and no metal parts. In addition, it’s powered by kinetics (that is, motion), with the nuclear battery being backup-only. It has a fingerprint-recognition system which will allow you and only you to fire it.

Neutrino Farshot (Discount Fairy Officer of the Law; 400) A Neutrino sniper rifle. Like all Neutrino weapons, it’s stun-only, and has a variety of intensity settings.

Arsenal (Discount Butler, 400) Oh boy. You really like guns, don’t you? You have a safe-room, somewhere, that’s packed full of every kind of gun and ammunition known to man, from dinky little hold-out pistols to full machine guns. Also contains a variety of close-combat weapons like knives, knuckledusters, garrotte wire and coshes.

Tri-Barrelled Water-Cooled Blaster (400) The most powerful weapon produced in the Lower Elements and a favourite of Commander Root. Not much is mentioned about this in the books, but it’s quite likely that it has a lethal setting given what the upper ranges of lesser weapons can do.

Blue Rinse (600) A biological weapon, the Blue Rinse is a smart bomb that destroys organic matter while leaving inorganics intact. Its explosion releases radiation only, without heat or shockwave. Comes in a case of five, with programmable launcher. Highly illegal to own. Refreshes with every new jump.

Sonix Warhead (800) The nuclear option. A sound-based missile capable of blowing through three kilometres of granite bedrock, getting caught with this will see you in prison for the rest of your natural life. You get only one, which refreshes with every new jump. V. Companions Patrol Partner (One Free Officer of the Law; 300) Your sidekick. Proficient in law enforcement and the use of appropriate weaponry. If you're a human, so are they, and if you're a fairy, they may pick any of the fairy races for free. Humans gain 500CP to spend, fairies gain 250CP and their associated free perks. You may pick a minor canon character such as Grub Kelp if you wish, or import a companion.

For an additional 200CP, you may pick a notable canon character such as Holly Short or Trouble Kelp.

Butler (One Free Fowl, Human Only; 300) You have a Butler to watch your back. They have the Blue Diamond and Covert Operations perks, and an Arsenal, as well as an additional 300CP to spend. You may import a companion if you wish.

Fellow Spellcaster (Discount Warlock; 400) You have a Warlock companion, with the Warlock background and the Magic perk for free. They also have 200 CP to spend. You may import an existing companion if you wish.

Companion Import (100CP each or 300CP for 8) Bring your buddies along! They get the same background as you for free, or another background at a discount. They also have 300CP to spend, and gain discounts appropriate to their background. If you are a Fowl, then half of them may take the Butler background for free, and vice versa. Or, you know, have the Fowl Dectuplets. That works too. VI. Drawbacks Take up to 600CP worth.

Interesting Times (+0) There go your hopes of having a quiet jump. By taking this, you will inevitably be dragged into every single bit of plot that goes on during your time here. No matter what you do, you’ll be centre-stage along with Artemis and Holly. On the upside, you get the option to take them as companions, and if you were planning on interfering anyway this will make sure you don’t miss a twitch.

Butler comes along too, but he and Artemis count as a single Companion.

Pheromones (+100) You smell like a lady troll. Moreover, you smell like a lady troll in heat, and you can’t get rid of it for your whole ten years here. Every civilised person will think you smell disgusting. Male trolls, on the other hand, will try to bone you at every opportunity they get. Have fun with that.

Kleptomania (+100) You just cannot stop yourself stealing things. If it isn’t nailed down, you feel the need to have it. If it is nailed down, you want the nails too. Thick (Mandatory for Goblin; +100) Wow. You are dumb. The stereotypical ditzy valley girl is about three times as smart as you are. You’d probably shoot yourself if someone told you it was a good idea. Strangely, for all your stupidity, you have an impressive level of animal cunning.

Any enhanced intelligence perks shut down until the jump is over, at which point you get them back.

Grudge Match (+200) Looks like it’s not just Foaly that Opal’s got it out for – she has a massive hate-on for you as well, for whatever reason. From the start, she’ll be working behind the scenes to foil your every move, and when she fires up the goblin rebellion you’ll be one of the priority targets.

Mud (Wo)Man (+200) Magic just does not like you. So much so, in fact, that any beneficial magic, such as healing or your allies’ invisibility, refuses to work not just for you, but anyone around you. On the other hand, detrimental magic like the Mesmer works so much better on you that you’ll have no chance of throwing it off no matter how many anti-mind-control perks you’ve taken. Even the ones that explicitly make you immune.

Wanted (+300) The LEP are after you. If you bought anything seriously illegal like a Blue Rinse or Sonix Warhead, they know about it. Even if you didn’t, you’re still in serious shit with them – why, you’ll have no idea, but they’re willing to hunt you to the ends of the Earth and even send Retrieval squads aboveground to find you. Foaly will be in all of your electronics, constantly tracking you and monitoring everything you do. Don’t expect to settle down while you’re here.

A Fowl Plot (+300) Uh-oh. Looks like you’re the target of Artemis’ next great escapade. He knows about your dimension-travelling, and he wants both the knowledge and tech you’ve got. This Artemis is not like late-series Artemis – no, he’s the early one, cold, sociopathic and utterly ruthless in getting what he wants. You’ll be subject to mind games, constant monitoring, tricks and traps and perfectly planned subterfuges. I hope you didn’t take Wanted, because if you did then Artemis and the LEP will be working together.

Swear Toad (+800; Ignores 600CP Limit) For the entirety of your ten years here, you will be a Swear Toad in one of the Lower Elements tunnels. All of your ‘active’ perks and powers are locked, leaving only ‘passive’ ones such as intelligence boosts. The only things you will ever be able to say are vile curses, and you’ll have to be careful to avoid the exterminators.

All of your perks, including ones from this jump, will be reactivated at the end of the ten years, and you’ll find any gear you purchased in your Warehouse at the same point.