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Destination Wedding Etiquette Guide

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Destination Wedding Etiquette Guide Table of Contents Table of Contents……………………………………………..2 Copyright Notice………………………………………………3 Intro…………………………………………………………....4 Who Pays for What…………………………………………..5 Save-the-Date and Invitation Etiquette…………………..9 Who Gets Invited to What…………………………………14 Guest Travel & Accommodation Etiquette…………..…17 Gift/Registry Etiquette…………………………………..…21 Tipping Etiquette………………………………………...…23 Featured Posts………………………………………..…….25 Closing Remarks…………………………………….………26 © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 2 Copyright Notice © 2018 DestinationWeddingDetails.com All rights reserved. No part of this eBook may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author. The information provided within this eBook is for general informational purposes only. While we try to keep the information up-to-date and correct, there are no representations or warranties, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the information, products, services, or related graphics contained in this eBook for any purpose. Any use of this information is at your own risk. The advice provided within this eBook are the author’s personal thoughts, based on their personal experience. They are not intended to be a definitive set of instructions. You may discover there are other methods to accomplish the same end result. © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 3 Intro My name is Cynthia and I’m the Founder and Editor of DestinationWeddingDetails.com and I’d like to congratulate you on your engagement. And because you’re planning a destination wedding, double congratulations are in order. In my humble opinion, there is no better way to tie the knot than by rounding up your closest family/friends and jetting off to a dreamy location away from your hometown. As you embark on this exciting journey, you’ll soon discover that destination weddings open up some unique possibilities you just can’t pull off with a traditional wedding. But they also come with some very unique challenges and issues. I know how stressful it can all be. I launched Destination Wedding Details, 7 years ago right after I planned my own destination wedding and realized there was very little information available, even though 25% of all couples get married away from home. Destination Wedding Details started as a labor of love but quickly grew to become a popular award winning destination wedding planning website. Millions of brides have relied on Destination Wedding Details as a planning resource, and it continues to grow every day. My number one goal is to spread the destination wedding gospel with unique ideas, beautiful inspiration, and unbiased advice. Not surprisingly, I get asked a lot of etiquette questions on a daily basis. Who gets invited to a destination wedding? Who pays for what? When should invitations be mailed? Can I invite someone to the shower but not the destination wedding? I know you have questions. And I’ve got answers. This guide is a roundup of answers to frequently asked destination wedding etiquette questions. Save this guide to your desktop or print it out and keep it somewhere handy so that you can refer to it any time you encounter a sticky situation. And don’t forget to follow Destination Wedding Details on Instagram (@DestinationWeddingDetails) and Pinterest for a daily dose of destination wedding tips, advice and inspiration. Enjoy! Cynthia © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 4 Who Pays for What Who pays for the destination wedding? There are some hard and fast (and stuffy) rules about who pays for a traditional wedding. You know the drill – the bride’s family pays for the ceremony, dress, and flowers while the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner and his attire. But destination wedding etiquette is far from traditional. You may find that your parents are not too keen on the idea of a destination wedding. They might have always dreamed of their little girl (or boy) getting married in the local church in front of all their friends, family, co-workers, church acquaintances and country club buddies. If that’s the case, they may only pay if you follow their wishes. If you want to go over their heads and do it anyway, then you shouldn’t expect them to fork over the dough. Many modern couples pay for their own wedding. Others find that their parents are delighted to follow tradition when it comes to paying. Do what’s best for your individual circumstance. © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 6 Do I have to pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses? No one in your bridal party will expect you to pay for their attire. And you don’t have to, but if you have some extra money left in your budget, it would be a very nice gesture. You are already asking your bridal party to fork over a lot of dough for airfare, hotel and other travel expenses. Asking them to purchase an expensive dress that they’ll only wear once, can put a big strain on their budget. If you can’t afford it, try to go a little easy on their pockets by choosing an inexpensive dress style that they can wear again in the future. Do I have to pay for all my guests’ travel expenses? Absolutely not. No one is going to expect you to pay for their travel. You should only pay for the reception dinner and drinks, as well as any other events that you arrange. That being said, you can make it easier on them by finding good destination wedding travel packages that offer airline discounts and/or group rates on hotel rooms. You can also find other ways to help them save money, such as booking a villa that sleeps a big group. © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 7 I’m planning a welcome dinner. Do I have to pay for everyone I invite? If you arrange it and invite them, then you should also pay. And that goes for pretty much anything at the wedding destination. You shouldn’t expect your guests to pay for a dinner (or brunch or excursion) if you arranged it and invited them. My ceremony is at an all-inclusive resort, and guests who stay at a different resort need day passes to attend the ceremony. Who should pay the fee? If your package requires day/guest passes for either your guests or outside vendors, you should pay that fee. My venue is outside of the resort and guests will need to travel there by cab/uber or bus. Who should pay? If transportation is required to get to your venue, you should arrange it and pay for it. Keep in mind that your guests are in a foreign land and you’re probably a lot more familiar with it, or have become familiar throughout the planning process. You also have more resources (through the resort or the coordinator), so you should absolutely not let guests fend for themselves on this one. © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 8 Page 9 When should I send save-the-dates/invitations? You need to give your guests as much advanced notice as possible so they can save money for the trip, ask for time off from work, get the best travel deals (the earlier they book, the cheaper it will be) and make any childcare arrangements. For these reasons, it’s important that you send out save-the-dates or a link to your personal website 9-12 months in advance. Formal invitations should follow at least 2 or 3 months before the wedding. Click here for more in depth advice on when you should mail save the dates and invitations for both the destination wedding and at-home wedding reception. What details should I include on save-the-date cards? You can include as little or as much information as you want. Traditionally, save-the-date cards simply contained the couple’s names, the wedding date and location. But since guests need time to plan and coordinate travel, a destination wedding save-the-date calls for a few more details. You can still keep the card short and simple, but make sure you include a link to your destination wedding website, where they can get additional info such as itinerary, travel details, accommodations, etc. © 2018 Destination Wedding Details All Rights Reserved Page 10 I just started planning my destination wedding and I want to send out save the dates ASAP so our guests can start to save for the trip. The problem is we are still looking for quotes and quotes depend on the number of guests. However we won’t know the number of guests until we send out invitations. But people can’t rsvp if they don’t know the cost. Can you offer some suggestions? I feel like I’m going in circles. Here is a simple formula that you can use to estimate guest count. Make a big list of everyone you are going to invite. Then take everyone you know needs to attend such as family, the two of you plus anyone else that you are 99% sure will attend. Then look at the rest of the list--a good rule of thumb is that 30% of those people will actually provide a deposit when it is due. So now just add the people who you are 99% will attend to 30% of the rest of your list and you will have a good estimate of the number of people that will attend. Sound confusing? Here’s an example: • Total number of people you’re inviting = 100 people • Number of people you are 99% sure will attend = 10 people • Rest of the list (i.e.
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