'Tears Were and Still Are Crucial for Our Functioning'

W E I complex: we have found that it has four V dimensions – attachment tears, societal R tears, sentimental/moral tears, and E compassionate tears. T ‘Tears were and still are N You found that people cry in response I to a wide range of emotional triggers – crucial for our functioning’ what are the most common reasons? We are most likely to cry in response to Ad Vingerhoets speaks to Gail Kinman feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Crying is a social trigger for empathy – a communication system that signals to others ‘I need your help and support’. ou have gained an international with? Who was responsible for making There may be an element of sadness along Yreputation for your research on you cry? Which emotions did you feel? with the feelings of helplessness – indeed crying. What first got you interested? How did other people react? We the loss of or separation from loved ones, It was by accident really. I had just differentiated between crying frequency such as through death and divorce or in completed my PhD on stress and became (how often people cry) and proneness homesickness, are among the strongest involved in an international study on (the type of events and emotions that are triggers of crying. Interestingly, our emotions. At a party, somebody asked likely to induce crying). We gained a great research has found major differences in me whether I thought crying was healthy. deal of valuable information that informed the situations that people think are most I had no idea, but thought it was a very our subsequent research. likely to make them cry and the actual interesting question. In spite of crying reason for their last crying episode. being a universal expression of human Why was it so important to make the The circumstances that people typically emotion, I found that very few studies had distinction between crying proneness associate with crying are related to loss, been conducted on the topic. Some of my and the frequency of crying? physical pain and watching sad movies, students overheard me talking about the Crying frequency is highly dependent but people also commonly said that they lack of research on crying and were keen on environmental factors, as people may were likely to cry in response to more to help me fill the gap. I started doing consciously avoid or seek out situations positive factors such as weddings, several small studies on crying alongside that are likely to make them cry, such as reunions and music. Our findings the other research I was working indicated, however, that the most frequent on, but my subsequent move to elicitors of tears are related to conflict, Tilburg University allowed me rejection, criticism and minor failure. more freedom to follow my own There are also some gender and age research interests. My research on differences. Women often cry as a reaction crying started nearly 30 years ago, to feelings of frustration or anger that they but the topic still intrigues me and may not consider appropriate to express there are still many questions that publicly, so they react with helplessness remain unanswered. … and then the tears come. We found that women also cry in response to minor, Your early research aimed to everyday problems such as a broken-down identify the antecedents and car, a computer crash and, in particular, outcomes of crying and develop interpersonal conflicts (during which they measures. How did you do this? experience a powerless anger). These are At the time we started our all situations that tend to make males research, no measures of crying swear. Feelings of loss and powerlessness were in existence. I get frustrated remain important causes of tearfulness by the enormous number of throughout the lifespan, and older adults measures of psychological concepts additionally cry relatively often in relation that are available – for example, to experiences that give their lives depth almost everybody seems to have and meaning. their own measure of stress and coping! Using scales that have If crying is mainly a reaction to feelings been translated into different Ad Vingerhoets, Professor of Clinical Psychology of loss and helplessness, why do we languages and validated with (Emotions and Wellbeing), Tilburg University, cry when we are happy? different cultural groups is much The Netherlands Initially, this was a very difficult question more powerful. An important aim www.advingerhoets.com to answer. We now think that people cry of my initial study therefore was to in response to positive emotional events, develop measures that could be used by sentimental movies or listening to music but the experience will simultaneously researchers from different countries with that engenders feelings of sadness. On the invoke more negative emotions. For an interest in crying. We obtained data other hand, crying proneness appears to example, somebody may cry during a from more than 5500 participants in 37 be a more stable characteristic. Our reunion with a loved one; on the surface countries. We asked participants a series research with monozygotic and dizygotic it is a happy event, but they may also of questions about the last time they twins indicates that this is more strongly remember how much they missed the cried – What happened? Where were you? determined by genetic factors than crying other person. This effect is well illustrated What time of day was it? Who were you frequency. Crying proneness is also more by the case of a famous Dutch 200 vol 29 no 3 march 2016 interview horsewoman who won a gold medal at general but, when asked to reflect on During the Victorian era, however, crying the Olympic Games in Athens. She cried their most recent crying episode, they are was seen as a sign of womanly weakness inconsolably during the award ceremony far less likely to report a positive change and subject to social disapproval, but and later explained that she felt sad that in mood – some may even experience attitudes are changing and a recent study her recently deceased father was not deterioration in mood. First, you need to showed that the majority of men in the there to witness her success. be in a good emotional shape to benefit UK today are comfortable showing their An alternative explanation for from crying. Second, negative outcomes emotions. It is now extremely common ‘happy tears’ is that people may feel are particularly likely if a person is crying for athletes to cry publicly – whether they overwhelmed by positive emotions and in response to an uncontrollable situation, have won or lost don’t know how to express themselves such as the loss of a loved one, whereas appropriately; so they cry. Neither of a conflict situation, which can be In my own research on women’s these explanations supports the notion manipulated or controlled, may have experiences of crying at work I found that people cry because they are happy. more positive effects. that most interviewees had Another determining factor is experiences of working with people People may also cry in response to how others react to a crying person. In who they believed had used tears for the pain or distress of others. What general, people feel sympathetic towards manipulation or gain. You have written is known about the links between somebody who is in tears and may about ‘crocodile tears’. How easy is it empathy and crying? respond with for people to fake them? It is common for people understanding and If you challenged me to cry now I could to feel emotionally moved support. On the other probably do so, but I would do it by by the tears of others. “the majority of men hand, if people react with remembering a sad situation I had People who score more in the UK today are disapproval or if they experienced. This means that my tears highly on measures of comfortable showing ignore the crying person, are real, but the emotional response is empathy are particularly their emotions ” an improvement in mood not appropriate for the context. Actors likely to cry in response to is unlikely. Wherever have told me that they consciously store other people’s tears. More possible, people prefer to cry emotional responses to real-life situations empathic people tend to be drawn to the in the presence of an attachment figure, in their memory and draw on them when helping professions and are exposed to such as their mother or their romantic they need to portray specific emotions. human distress more frequently than in partner, and will often try to hold back Some personality variables such as most other types of work, but very little the tears until they are in their presence. neuroticism and narcissism have been attention has been given to their own Crying has been described as an associated with the use of tears as a way experiences of crying. I am currently ‘acoustical umbilical cord’ – an of manipulating other people to achieve researching crying among doctors, nurses attachment behaviour designed to an objective. Also, people with and psychotherapists, with a particular guarantee the proximity of the caregiver, psychopathic and sociopathic tendencies focus on crying in the presence of and this behaviour is reinforced and tend to be particularly adept at producing a patient or client. How often does it maintained over the lifespan. crocodile tears. happen? Is it considered ethical? How do others respond to them if and when You have mentioned the impact of What are you working on at the they cry? There is evidence that nurses genetic factors on crying proneness. moment? are less likely to see crying at work as What about the role of conditioning? My team and I are working on several unprofessional, but we are also interested How might this predict the propensity exciting studies.

Load more