James Hindman and Ray Roderick John Glaudini STAGE MANAGER

Written by James Hindman and Ray Roderick

Musical Arrangements by John Glaudini

STAGE MANAGER SCRIPT

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CAST (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE)

NOTE ABOUT CASTING: The premise of the show is that Frank, Dean and Sammy come back to earth and inhabit the bodies of living people. Therefore, none of the actors need to look anything like our stars, they just need to embody their essence.

SECRETARY (VOICE OVER) - God’s secretary. She should sound like a telephone operator from the 1940’s.

GOD (VOICE OVER) - Affable. Funny. Deep down he wants to be as cool as The Rat Pack.

VIC CANDELINO – Down on his luck owner of Vic’s Place. When Vic was a kid, Frank told him he would ‘one day be a star.’ He is now bankrupt and ready to throw in the towel.

BOBBY GOLDBERG/SAMMY DAVIS, JR. – The bartender at Vic’s Place, Bobby has known Vic since he was a kid. Energetic and caring. His body is taken over by Sammy Davis Jr.

WILLIAM SAUNDERS/FRANK SINATRA – Real estate developer who wants to demolish Vic’s Place and build a parking lot for the Hooters next door. His body is taken over by Frank Sinatra.

KATHERINE KERR/ANGIE – Mr. Saunders’ secretary. Very type A. Her body is taken over by Angie – An angel sent from above who uses her feminine wiles finds to influence men.

JEORGE RODRIGUES/DEAN MARTIN – Easy going guy. English is a second language. He loves the Rat Pack. His body is taken over by Dean Martin.

THE TIME:

New Years Eve, 1998

LIST OF MUSICAL NUMBERS

OVERTURE I’M GONNA LIVE ‘TIL I DIE (PTS 1-3) Sammy, Dean & Frank HIGH HOPES Frank, Sammy & Dean MY WAY (VIC’S DEMO) Vic TEACH HIM SECTION: BEE-BOM Sammy & Vic TEACH HIM SECTION: VOLARE Dean & Vic TEACH HIM SECTION: NICE ‘N’ EASY Frank & Vic COME FLY WITH ME Vic YOUNG AT HEART Frank, Sammy & Dean AIN’T THAT A KICK IN THE HEAD Frank, Sammy & Dean TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT Angie ANGEL SAID Angie, Frank, Sammy & Dean IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS OF THE MORNING Frank, Sammy & Dean THE RAT PACK COMEBACK (PT 1): BYE BYE BLACKBIRD Sammy THE RAT PACK COMBACK (PT 1): THAT’S AMORE Dean THE RP COMEBACK (PT 1): YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO YOUNG Frank THE RAT PACK COMEBACK (PT 2): I’M GONNA LIVE ‘TIL I DIE Frank, Dean and Sammy MY WAY Vic IT’S A WONDERFUL WORLD Vic DEAN’S SET: FOR ME AND MY GAL Dean DEAN’S SET: EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY SOMETIME Dean DEAN’S SET: I LOVE BEING HERE WITH YOU Angie

SAMMY’S SET: SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE Sammy SAMMY’S SET: WHAT KIND OF FOOL AM I? Sammy FRANK’S SET: ONE FOR MY BABY Frank FRANK’S SET: I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN All YOU’RE NOBODY ‘TIL SOMEBODY LOVES YOU Frank, Sammy & Dean VIC’S I’VE GOT THE WORLD ON A STRING Vic BIRTH OF THE BLUES All EXIT: I’VE GOT THE WORLD ON A STRING God (Voice Over)

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ACT I

1. OVERTURE A big, brassy and swingin’ overture segues to off stage voices singing Gregorian chant as Stars fill the sky. We are in Heaven. OFF STAGE VOICES REQUIEM AETERNAM, DONA EIS DOMINE ET LUX PERPETUA LUCEAT EIS Throughout the dialogue, a “film noir-style” arrangement of EEE- O-ELEVEN creeps in.

2-2B PROLOGUE

2-2B PROLOGUE (PTS 1-3) HEAVENLY VOICES/EEE-O-ELEVEN/JUKEBOX CUES SFX: Buzz. A voice over is heard. Stars blink or become brighter as characters enter and/or talk. SECRETARY (VOICE OVER) God…God, your three o’clock is here. GOD (VOICE OVER) Great. SECRETARY (VOICE OVER) Shall I cancel your lunch with Moses? GOD (VOICE OVER) Tell him I’ll call him next week. SECRETARY (VOICE OVER) Will do. Should I send them in now? GOD (VOICE OVER) Please. Three stars brighten on star-drop/scrim, like the belt of Orion. (With enthusiasm) Frankie…Frankie baby, Dino, Sammy…Get over here. Forget the gate, Peter will get it. First, let me say what a thrill it was to have you sing at my birthday party last week. When you boys sang, “When the saints go Marching in”…Did you see them all on their feet? And getting Peter, Paul and Mary to sing backup…I tell you, it’s good to be God…

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(Suddenly serious) …Until tonight. I got a problem boys, a big problem, and I need you three to fix it. Frank, Frank, let me do the talking. Up here, I’m the chairman of the board. Now, look down there… We bleed through the scrim of stars as a jukebox on stage lights up and underscoring shifts to Film Noir-Style. See that bar? No, not Caesar’s Palace, over there, the old Vegas strip…that little hole in the wall next to Hooters. The lights continue up, revealing the inside of a small, seedy bar. A banner reading “HAPPY NEW YEAR! – 1999” hangs on the back wall next to three large photos of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr. The place is crammed with other RAT PACK memorabilia. A well-dressed man, WILLIAM SAUNDERS, is asleep at the bar, clutching an empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s, two suitcases surround him. BOBBY, a fairly worn-out man, enters from the back room, sets up the lounge for the night, taking the chairs off the tables and cleaning some of the RAT PACK memorabilia. Dialogue continues uninterrupted as the vocal of EEE-O-ELEVEN underscores what follows. GOD (VOICE OVER) That’s The Rat Pack Lounge. A special comes up on VIC. GOD Ah…here comes our guy now. VIC JR. walks DSC and pulls a gun from the bag. HE puts the gun back. The gun falls through the paper bag landing on the floor. VIC Jesus Christ! GOD (VOICE OVER) Why do people have to say that? KATHERINE and JEORGE enter with bags. KATHERINE (Taking bag from JEORGE) Here’s your bag, Mr. Saunders. MR. SAUNDERS Make mine a double, cowboy. KATHERINE I’m going to try and get some cell service so I can reschedule this flight. (To JEORGE) And make sure he doesn’t drink.

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JEORGE (Looking at the pictures, and memorabilia) Wow, mira todas estas cosas lindas. Eh … mira pa' ya … Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr.…me encantan estos tipos…el Rat Pack. (Wow, look at all these beautiful things. Ooo…Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr….I love these guys…The Rat Pack.) JEORGE sits at table. KATHERINE (Exiting) Since when does it snow in Las Vegas? Voices and underscoring continues GOD (VOICE OVER) Frank, at exactly 11:57 tonight, your pal, Vic Candelino is going to put a bullet through his head because of something you said over twenty-five years ago. You know the rules…no one can stay in heaven and be responsible for the death of another human being. If you three want to stay up here, you must go down there and fix this! Keep this kid alive, or spend the rest of eternity in the fires of Hell with Peter Lawford! He accidentally kicks the bucket BOBBY has left behind. The bucket hits the jukebox. It instantly changes to… SFX: Record skip. High Hopes - Instrumental VIC hits the jukebox, the song changes to an upbeat loud… Cacophony of hit hooks – Instrumental SFX: Record skipping, Thunder/Lighting…electrical shock VIC tries to stop the jukebox by hitting it. Every time VIC hits the jukebox the record ships to a new hook, getting faster and faster. VIC kicks over Bobby’s bucket of water. (To jukebox) Shut up! Enough of you! Stop, damn it! Shut up! I said stop! VIC reaches to unplug the jukebox and gets an electrical shock that sends him flying across the room in a sea of sparks, as the music builds to a cacophony. Then, as the lights practically black out… Oh, God. HE collapses to the floor center stage. BOBBY Oh my god… JEORGE Dios mio! (something in Spanish)

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MR. SAUNDERS (With Texas accent) It’s on me, cowboy. BOBBY rushes to VIC on floor center stage. JEORGE is stunned and Mr. Saunders remains drunk at the bar. Out of the darkness, the jukebox begins to glow. The lights shift, filling the stage with color and a new reality.

2C. PROLOGUE (PT 4) HEAVENLY VOICES (REPRISE) OFF STAGE VOICES REQUIEM AETERNAM DONA DOO BEE DOO… Voices and underscoring continues GOD (VOICE OVER) Don’t worry. He’s not hurt. I didn’t kill him. Okay boys…you know what to do. So suit up…you’re going in. SFX: Thunder and lightening representing the boys dissension from heaven. Bell tone and shaft of light on BOBBY’S body as it suddenly jerks upright, being taken over by SAMMY. SAMMY (BOBBY) Frankie, Dino…it worked. I’m back on earth! I’m inside this guy’s body. I did it baby, I did it. (Adjusting his new singing voice) THE CANDY MAN CAN 'CAUSE HE MIXES IT WITH LOVE AND MAKES THE WORLD TASTE GOOD (Checking out his new speaking voice) Hey babe, hey babe, hey babe… (Blinking his eyes) Hey…Hey look. (Covering one eye, then the other…) I can see out of both eyes again! It’s like seeing in stereo! (Doing dance step toward jokebox.) I still got the moves! He snaps his fingers. The blinds open, revealing the band. (To bandleader) Tommy, Give me a “C”. Tremolo. A bouncy C-32. Rhythm. And here he is, folks, live and alive, Mr. Sammy Davis, Jr.!!

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3-3B. I’M GONNA LIVE ‘TIL I DIE (PTS 1-3) SAMMY (BOBBY) I’M GONNA LIVE ‘TILL I DIE I’M GONNA LAUGH ‘STEAD OF CRY I’M GONNA TAKE THE TOWN AND TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN I’M GONNA LIVE, LIVE UNTIL I DIE Hey guys, where are you? THEY’RE GONNA SAY “WHAT A GUY!” Get down here. I’M GONNA PLAY Don’t know what you’re missin’. FOR THE SKY… Musical vamp as he crosses to door. Dino…hit it…Dino?! MUSCIAL STING. BOBBY’s body jerks again as the spirit of DEAN also enters into BOBBY. Underscoring changes. DEAN (BOBBY) EVERYBODY LOVES SOMEBODY SOMETIME! Holy Cr— I’m sober. Somebody pour me to the bar. SAMMY (BOBBY) Dino, you dummy, we’re using the same body! DEAN (BOBBY) I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SKIN… SAMMY (BOBBY) Now cut that out. Dino, you take that guy at the bar! DEAN (BOBBY) Him? He’s already drunk. Half the fun’s getting there. SAMMY (BOBBY) Dino! KATHERINE enters. KATHERINE Jeorge, we have a flight to catch! Doesn’t anybody speak English in this town? KATHERINE notices VIC on the floor. SAMMY (BOBBY) jumps down next to him, turns him over and starts massaging his back. SAMMY (BOBBY) Back problems. Major back problems. Oh, yeah. Sa right? Sa right? KATHERINE Jeorge!

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Bell tree gliss and shaft of light as JEORGE’s body is taken over by DEAN. HE crosses to the bar. DEAN (JEORGE) (A la DEAN MARTIN, while pouring himself a drink) BA BA BA BOO BA BA BA BOO…ETC. SAMMY realizes something us up and gives “JEORGE” a strange look. KATHERINE is trying to get MR. SAUNDERS out of his chair. KATHERINE Jeorge… (snapping her fingers) Over here, dear. I need your help with… SHE crosses to the bar. Jeorge, no drinking while driving! (taking the bottle from his hand) Why the hell did I study German? (To SAMMY) You…do you speak Spanish? SAMMY …uh… KATHERINE Good. Tell my driver to stay there and make sure Mr. Saunders doesn’t drink any more… (To JEORGE. Taking the drink from his hand.) Jeorge! (To SAMMY (BOBBY)) …while I go next door and get us on the next flight. Understood? SAMMY (BOBBY) Certainly. HE speaks the lyrics of BESAME MUCHO. Besame. Besame mucho. Como se fuerta esta noche, la ultima ves. Be-e-e- same Mucho. Que tengo mierdo pardarte pardarte otra ves. Capiche? DEAN (JEORGE) (As if engaged in a conversation) Ah…si…Feliz navidad, Pally. KATHERINE Perfect. I’ll be back in a few. SHE starts to exit then notices VIC on the floor. SHE makes a move toward him, then stops herself. This is all too weird. …Wow. SHE exits, door closes. Music in…Rhythm vamp.

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SAMMY (BOBBY) Dino, you old dog! DEAN (JEORGE) Take me out, Tommy! As music kicks back in, DEAN (JEORGE) and SAMMY (BOBBY) dive back in. DEAN (JEORGE) THEY’RE GONNA SAY “WHAT A GUY!” SAMMY (BOBBY) Here he is folks. DEAN (JEORGE) I’M GONNA PLAY SAMMY (BOBBY) Alive and Sober. DEAN (JEORGE) FOR THE SKY Not for long! AIN’T GONNA MISS A THING I’M GONNA DRINK AND SING Watch this… SAMMY (BOBBY) I’M GONNA LIVE, LIVE UNTIL I DIE DEAN (JEORGE) Never moved my lips! SAMMY (BOBBY) THE BLUES I‘LL LAY LOW DEAN (JEORGE) I’LL MAKE ‘EM STAY LOW BOTH THEY’LL NEVER TRAIL OVER MY HEAD DEAN (JEORGE) I’LL BE A DEVIL ‘TILL I’M AN ANGEL SAMMY (BOBBY) BUT UNTIL THEN DEAN (JEORGE) BUT UNTIL THEN SAMMY (BOBBY) UNTIL THEN

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BOTH HALLELU! SAMMY (BOBBY) I’M GONNA DANCE GONNA FLY DEAN (JEORGE) LET’S WATCH HIM DANCE I’LL GET HIGH BOTH BEFORE MY NUMBER’S UP I’M GONNA FILL MY CUP The music builds. They jump and dance around the bar. DEAN (JEORGE) ends up standing on a chair, SAMMY (BOBBY) is standing on the bar, tap-dancing with his partner, a broom. SAUNDERS head reacts to SAMMY’s stomps. I’M GONNA LIVE, LIVE, LIVE, LIVE, LIVE… The song is interrupted by FRANK (SAUNDERS) standing. The boys freeze, afraid of being discovered. FRANK (SAUNDERS) grabs a hat off the wall from the ‘Frank’ collection. HE then grabs an orange napkin and stuffs it in his lapel. FRANK (SAUNDERS) I hate to be a bore, but can we take it, one more time, from bar 37? DEAN (JEORGE) Frank! SAMMY (BOBBY) Frankie, baby! HE turns front. Music out. FRANK (SAUNDERS) You ought to know by now, I always get the big finish! Music in. FRANK takes the lead. FRANK (SAUNDERS) THE BLUES ‘LL LAY LOW I’LL MAKE ‘EM STAY LOW THEY’LL NEVER TRAIL OVER MY HEAD I’LL BE A DEVIL ‘TIL I’M AN ANGEL BUT UNTIL THEN DEAN (JEORGE) UNTIL THEN SAMMY (BOBBY) UNTIL THEN

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ALL THREE UNTIL THEN HALLELU FRANK (SAUNDERS) I’M GONNA DANCE SAMMY (BOBBY) AND DEAN (JEORGE) HALLELU FRANK (SAUNDERS) GONNA FLY SAMMY (BOBBY) AND DEAN (JEORGE) HALLELU FRANK (SAUNDERS) I’LL TAKE A CHANCE SAMMY (BOBBY) AND DEAN (JEORGE) HALLELU FRANK (SAUNDERS) RIDIN’ HIGH SAMMY (BOBBY) AND DEAN (JEORGE) HALLELU ALL THREE BEFORE MY NUMBER’S UP I’M GONNA FILL MY CUP I’M GONNA LIVE DEAN (JEORGE) LIVE SAMMY (BOBBY) LIVE FRANK (SAUNDERS) LIVE ALL LIVE UNTIL I DIE Song buttons…applause. SAMMY (BOBBY) Frankie! Frankie, we’re back! Ain’t it a gas? Hugs all around, like they haven’t seen each other for a long time. DEAN (JEORGE) Frankie, where you been?

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FRANK (SAUNDERS) (Taking cigarettes from DEAN) I took a wrong turn at Cirque Du Soleil. Ended up in a sleeping contortionist. Woke up looking at the crack of Dawn. That was her name, Dawn. Speaking of asses, where is this crumb? SAMMY points to VIC on the floor. Wait a minute. I’m confused. Who’s who? SAMMY He’s Dean and I’m Sammy. FRANK Got it. He’s the drunk. You’re the Jew. They bend in to light their cigarettes from DEAN’s lighter . SFX: Lightning, Thunder. All the boys look up frightened. THEY know this is a reprimand from God. DEAN (Referring to his cigarette) Can’t I at least hold it? (after hearing no more thunder from God) That sounds like a yes. Checking out the joint. FRANK This is gonna be easy. Look around. The kid loves us. He’ll do anything I say. We wake him up. Cheer him up. Tell him life’s worth livin’. We’re back on Cloud 9 before happy hour. SAMMY Groovy man, our mugs are plastered all over this joint. DEAN (Holding up a mug with his face on it) I like my mug. SAMMY (Holding up a long black silk dress sock) Can you dig it, a dress sock…worn by Frank. DEAN (Smelling the sock) “Opening night at the Sands.” FRANK They collected our socks, let’s do an underwear check. SAMMY and DEAN both look down their pants. SAMMY (Still looking down his pants) What do you know…this guy really is Jewish.

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FRANK Boys, it’s good to know no matter what happens, we’re in this together. Through thick or thin, life or death…from here to eternity. THEY clink glasses. SAMMY One Oscar and he never lets us forget it. THEY start to drink. SFX: Thunder, lightning. THEY turn front. ALL (Looking up) We’re in a bar! THEY drink. FRANK crosses to VIC still lying on the floor. DEAN …for God’s sake. FRANK (Lifting VIC’s head from the floor) Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I remember this mug’s mug. We got a flat tire and pulled into that parking lot… right out there. Yeah, yeah…You two were asleep in the back seat. This kid stood on the hood of a car, used an air-hose for a microphone and sang. DEAN Was he any good? FRANK Terrible…I don’t know, who the hell remembers? (Kicking VIC a little) Hey…you…kid, wake up. SAMMY Don’t kick him. DEAN Buy him a drink. Always worked for me. DEAN throws a drink in his face. SAMMY cleans off VIC’s face. VIC Oh…Thanks. How long was I out, Bobby? SAMMY Bobby? Bobby, who? Who’s he talking to? FRANK We ain’t got time to be beatin’ around the bush, kid. We’re giving it to you straight. He’s Sammy Davis Jr. He’s Dean Martin. And I’m Frank Sinatra. VIC And I’m Elvis Presley.

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DEAN I told you. He is alive. VIC Bobby, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But forget it. You’re too late. FRANK Look kid, we’re here to help. (To bandleader) Tommy, give me something to cheer this kid up. Band plays.

5. HIGH HOPES FRANK You read my mind. NEXT TIME YOU’RE FOUND WITH YOUR CHIN ON THE GROUND THERE'S A LOT TO BE LEARNED VIC Bobby, there’s a band… FRANK SO LOOK AROUND Vic, say hello to Tommy and the boys. VIC Hi Tommy. BAND Hi, Vic! (VIC grabs a drink. FRANK indicates for him to sit.) VIC Bobby, what’s goin’ on here. (To DEAN) And who the hell are you? FRANK JUST WHAT MAKES THAT LITTLE OL' ANT THINK HE'LL MOVE THAT RUBBER TREE PLANT ANYONE KNOWS AN ANT CAN'T MOVE A RUBBER TREE PLANT ALL THREE BUT HE'S GOT HIGH HOPES, HE'S GOT HIGH HOPES HE'S GOT HIGH APPLE PIE IN THE SKY HOPES FRANK SO ANY TIME YOU'RE GETTING LOW

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SAMMY 'STEAD OF LETTING GO, DEAN JUST REMEMBER THAT ANT. VIC You’re freakin’ me out, man. ALL THREE OOPS THERE GOES ANOTHER RUBBER TREE PLANT… FRANK We’re your guardian angels and we just flew in to cheer you up. SAMMY And boy are our arms tired. FRANK Smokey. SAMMY …Okay. ONCE THERE WAS A SILLY OLD RAM THOUGHT HE’D PUNCH A HOLE IN A DAM VIC (Crossing to SAMMY) Bobby… SAMMY NO ONE COULD MAKE THAT RAM SCRAM HE KEPT BUTTIN’ THAT DAM ALL ‘CAUSE HE HAD HIGH HOPE HE HAD HIGH HOPE HE HAD HIGH APPLE PIE IN THE SKY HOPES SO ANY… FRANK …TIME YOU’RE FEELIN’ BAD DEAN ‘STEAD OF FEELIN’ SAD SAMMY JUST REMEMBER THAT RAM ALL OOPS THERE GOES A BILLION KILAWATT DAM

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VIC (Trying to escort them out) Okay, that’s it. Everybody out! We’re out of business. Our doors are now officially closed. You too, Bobby. FRANK We’re not goin’ anywhere, kid. We got a job to do. VIC I don’t know who the hell you guys think you are. SAMMY He still don’t believe us. DEAN Guess we’ll have to sing another verse. VIC No! ALL THREE SO KEEP YOUR HIGH HOPES KEEP YOUR HIGH HOPES KEEP THOSE HIGH APPLE PIE IN THE SKY HOPES Music becomes suddenly dramatic. FRANK All right, kid. How ‘bout this? You got a poker chip I gave you twenty-five years ago. It says, “The Sands Hotel and Casino.” VIC So. FRANK There’s writing on the back. VIC reaches into his pocket and pulls out a chip. VIC Yeah. FRANK Beverly Wilshire Rm. 1208. VIC How do you…? FRANK Ava Gardner’s room number. VIC Really? FRANK She never forgave me for not calling that night.

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VIC (Looking at all the men) You really—Oh, God. VIC faints again. ALL THREE A PROBLEM’S JUST A TOY BALLOON THEY’LL BE BURSTIN’ SOON THEY’RE JUST BOUND TO GO POP SAMMY OOPS THERE GOES ANOTHER PROBLEM KERR PLOP DEAN OOPS THERE GOES ANOTHER PROBLEM KERR PLOP FRANK OOPS THERE GOES ANOTHER PROBLEM KERR FRANK (Taking DEAN’s drink) This one’s on me. ALL THREE KERR PLOP! On button, FRANK throws another drink in VIC’s face. He comes to during the applause. FRANK Feelin’ better…right? VIC This is crazy! People can’t just start taking over people’s bodies! FRANK What’s crazy? Happens every day. DEAN Why do you think people change their mind about something all the sudden. SAMMY Or you’re talking with a friend and you think…”Dig, man, you don’t seem like yourself today.” DEAN Look deeper. SAMMY There may be someone else in there. DEAN George Burns does it all the time. SAMMY Why do you think Lauren Bacall speaks so low?

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