Volume 42 - Issue 27 - Friday, May 11, 2007

Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Spring 5-11-2007

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

Follow this and additional works at: https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn

Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 42 - Issue 27 - Friday, May 11, 2007" (2007). The Rose Thorn Archive. 209. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/209

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA FRIDAY, MAY 11, 2007 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 42, ISSUE 27 Congratulations ‘07 Seniors News Briefs By Ryan Schultz The end of copy protection? Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple, Inc., is once again taking on the recording companies. Before, he refused to change iTunes pric- ing for singles from the familiar $0.99 to a stepped scheme. Now, he’s challenging the recording companies to allow songs to be sold on iTunes without copy protection and at a bitrate twice as high as the cur- rent offerings. EMI has already agreed to the deal with Apple. Michael Gartenberg, an analyst with Ju- piter Research says, “At this point, no one can ignore Apple or what Apple wants, given its position in the marketplace.” Sleeping in cyber cafés The housing crisis and rising cost of living in Tokyo has forced a significant number of lower working-class Japanese into living in cyber cafes. Open 24 hours a day, the cafes offer cheaper rates than hotels, even Tokyo’s notorious “capsule hotels” which are famous for offering rooms barely larger than a casket. “Freeters,” as the drifters are called, are generally younger, technically savvy people who were hit hardest by the economic downturn in Japan’s economy in the 1990s. Kazumasa Adachi, a manager at an up- scale café, says that freeters can be rec- ognized by the large bags they carry from café to café. “They are different from the Making everything real homeless because they belong to the working poor, so they do have some mon- a little greener ey, whereas the ones on the street have no Chris Casillas port their school by wearing money at all.” C o p y E d i t o r sweatshirts and things like that, but only at Rose-Hul- n Saturday, May 5, man do students go out and Russian headmas- over 200 members of do work on their campus. Othe Rose community Students here show a higher ter stung by piracy gathered around campus to level of commitment to the Alexander Ponosov, the headmaster at participate in Campus Beau- campus. We want to make it a tiny school in the Ural Mountains, has tification. Facilities employ- a better place to be and not been fined 5,000 rubles (half of his month- ees were busy driving around just advertise it.” ly salary) for allowing students to use a campus before 8 a.m., when Jenn Cringoli, a senior bio- dozen computers running pirated copies the event started, preparing medical engineer, thought of Microsoft Windows XP and Office. The the designated work areas for highly of the event. “I like fine Ponosov has been ordered to pay is the students. to do it just because it gives roughly equal to $194.40. Residence halls, fraternities, some ownership of the “Our interest is not in prosecuting sororities, and other student school, and it makes you feel schools or teachers,” Microsoft said in a organizations participated in good that you’re doing some- statement. “Mr. Ponosov’s case was initi- this event. Students could be thing for the school.” ated by Russian authorities under Russian seen all over campus work- Cringoli is an RA in the law. Microsoft neither initiated nor has ing on different projects. The apartments, and was in any plans to bring any action against Mr. projects ranged from plant- charge of planting flowers Ponosov.” Microsoft has not said whether ing flowers, planting trees, and cleaning up the area it will attempt to stop the proceedings. and even painting the various around the apartments. “I

Russia’s President, Vladamir Putin, has handrails around campus. was able to hang out with my Andrew Carlson / Rose Thorn called the case “utter nonsense.” Illegal Joe Tolsma, a junior me- residents and achieve a com- copies of Windows XP can be purchased chanical engineer, was im- mon goal.” Students plant ﬂowers in the Hadley Circle during Campus in Russian marketplaces for $6. pressed with the event. “A lot Beautiﬁcation this past weekend. Students worked around cam- of universities students sup- Continued on Page 3... pus, cleaning, painting, and planting. In this issue of the Rose Thorn... “We are not putting ‘don- NEWS Spider-Man 3, OPINIONS Spring sports wrap-up, key punch’ on Miracles awards, and records

3 6 the front of my

newspaper.” F Sleeping Microsoft LIPSIDE Robots ﬁght and freshmen buys Sarkozy have a dance

E4NTERTAINMENT 7SPORTS 8 8 PAGE -

NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGES 4 - 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 FLIPSIDE 2 PUZZLE & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn Mother’s Day Rose-doku by Jim Sedoff Instructions: Solve the puzzle by filling in the blanks but be careful to not repeat the symbols (M, O, T, H, E, R, D, A and Y) vertically, horizontally or within the bold 3x3 sub-grid squares. Level: “Well it wasn’t easy raising you either!” Find the answers at: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn CLASSIFIEDS For sale House for rent EWB Laptop Drive Very nice, furnished, large house for rent to Rose 2004 Honda CRV EX, 41K miles, 4-Cyl., 6-disc CD, Don’t forget about the Engineers with Borders 2007 students 10-15 minutes from campus. Two bed- moon roof, 4WD $16,950, 812-236-3782 or ext. Laptop Drive. Donate by May 18th at 5PM for a rooms plus full bath upstairs. Two bedrooms plus 8096 chance at winning a Wii or other great prizes. This full bath downstairs. Large kitchen with dishwash- event made possible by: Big Red Liquors, Buffalo er and garbage disposal. DR, LR with fireplace. Wild Wings, Dever Distributing, Papa John’s, Son- 1-5 bedroom rentals Large rec room, attached 2 car garage. Washer and ka’s Irish Pub & Cafe, and Wal-Mart. Now renting 1-5 bedrooms. Summer or Fall. $310- dryer included. $250/ student plus utilities. Land- lord pays water and sewer. Available this summer $550. Some utilities included. No pets. Gibson Apts. Brown Properties Rentals 234-4884. or Fall to 1, 2, or 3 students. Ext 8317 or 240-4774. 111 North 17th Street – 4 Bedroom House – Nice neigh- borhood. Large bedrooms. 1 ½ baths with tub/shower; House for rent Sharp Flats East central air; washer/dryer hookup; private backyard. $850.00 per month plus gas and electric. 10 minutes from 3 bd., spacious, quiet for study, EXTRA NICE! Call Why are you paying more, when you can get more campus. Available June 1st. Call 234-5680. for less? It costs more than $7000 to have a single 232-6977 after 11 am. Please leave ph #. 200 North 25th Street – 3 Bedroom House – This house on campus for the school year, plus the mandatory has large bedrooms; living room, dining room, 1 bath with cost of an ARA meal plan. Our “Off Campus Dorm” Marylaine Apartments tub/shower, sunroom; central air; washer/dryer hookups; Studios cost only $390 per month, including ev- appliances and plenty of storage space. 5 minutes from 628 Ash St. Adjacent to north side of Union Hospital. erything AND the kitchen sink: All utlities, a bed, campus. $750.00 per month plus utilities. Available May 1 and 2 bedrooms. Ample on-site lighted parking. dresser, private bath, refigerator, microwave, wire- 1st. Call 234-5680. Basic cable free and water included. Clean and well less internet, on site laundry facilities, nearby res- 2325 Cleveland Avenue – 3 Bedroom House – This house has large bedrooms, 2 baths with tub/shower, living room, maintained. Deposit and lease required. 235-1332. taurant, and ample parking. With only a 10 min- ute walk to campus, we have to ask, Why are you dining room and eat-in kitchen and central air. This house could comfortably accommodate 3-5 students. Central paying more? Save money for fun things! See our 2-6 bedroom houses air, washer/dryer hookups. 10 minutes from campus. Want to have a great apartment at a great price? Check out efficiencies ($340) studios ($390) and 1 bedrooms $750.00 per month plus utilities. Available June 1st. Call Sharp Flats in town. ($440 + elec.) on the web at www.sharpflats.com. 234-5680. We have: Located just east of campus at the first light, US 40 1362 ½ Plum Street – 1 Bedroom Apartment – Very large *Studios and one bedrooms starting at $325 a month. and Hunt Rd. 812-877-1146. contemporary apartment. Huge bedroom; large living Many include all utilities! room/dining room. This apartment could easily accom- *Two bedrooms starting at $550. modate 2 people. 10 minutes from campus. $375.00 per *Three bedrooms featuring spacious bedrooms with lots Trail’s End Cafe 40 month plus electric. No pets. Available July 1st. Call 234- of closet space, large bath with garden tub, kitchen with Menu features homeade cooking, desserts, and 5680. breakfast bar plus more! 602 No. 13 ½ Street – 2 Bedroom House – In a quiet neigh- daily specials. Close to campus. Dine in, carry out, *Four bedrooms unit with large living room, kitchen with borhood, this house is very nice with spacious rooms. washer/dryer, central AC. Call to check it out. or call ahead and we will have your order ready. Clean, close to campus, and fully equipped with all ap- *Four-Five bedroom house, 2 baths, lofts, central AC, Show your Rose ID and get 10% off. 6710 E. Wabash pliances. $500.00 plus utilities. Available June 1st. Call laundry, yard, plus more! Ave. 877-4002. 234-5680. *Five bedroom unit - Awesome, spacious, 1221 S 6th St. 605B North 13 ½ Street – 1 Bedroom Efficiency Apart- (across from Adelphia) with large bedrooms, beautiful ment – Attractive, clean and 10 minutes from campus. kitchen, living room, 2 ½ bath, laundry facilities and the For rent $350.00. Utilities paid. Available June 1st. Call 234-5680. list goes on. Call to see this treasure — it won’t last long. th 5 bedroom house available near ISU stadium. *Six bedroom unit — located on S. 6 features 2 full baths, Storage Solutions laundry facilities, family room, living room, central AC Large house with lots of room. Washer/dryer, stove, plus more. Check it out today. refrigerator and some furniture provided. $220 per Self-storage. State of the art, well-lit. Electronic gate, Sharpflats.com student. 812-230-2992. blacktop. Full-time on-site manager. Close to cam- 812-877-1146 pus. 2420 Spring Clean Ave. 812-243-9052

Editorial Staff The Rose Thorn Thorn Staff Editor-in-Chief Aaron Meles Writers David Bander Ely Spears Editor-in-Chief CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Philip Becker Fred Webber Emeritus Lissa Avery Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Tim Boyer James Zhou News Editor Ryan Schultz Phone:(812)877-8255 Kyle Kamischke Opinions Editor Andrew Klusman Fax: (812)877-8166 Rachel Howser Matthew Melton Entertainment Editor Phillip Meiser E-mail: [email protected] Sports Editor Mike Ferguson Tiffany Parrott http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Humor Editor Gregory Weir John Pinkus Layout Manager Andrea Brown Bob Prescott Copy Editor Chris Casillas “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Jessica Rogers Photo Editor Andrew Carlson by providing an accurate and Jim Sedoff Photo Editor Emeritus Ken Meyer dependable source for news and information.” Cartoonists Erin Hudson Administrative Staff Luke Plummer Advertising Manager Richard Ballard The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays first through ninth week each quarter. Asst. Advertising Mgr. Tyler Price Photographers Joseph Barlan Business Manager Alex Cerier Christina Davis Webmaster Jonathan Ziebell Albert Mui Advisor Richard House The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. TWO DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, May 11, 2007 NEWS 3 Botball competition scores with students Fred Webber (short and fat pvp pipes) and place Staff Writer a protective shield around them (martini umbrellas). They could gain, we see radically dif- also place pineapples (a pom- ferent strategies, Thiery us- pom), trees (also pompoms), and Aing a strategy of using three water into food and compost bins. umbrellas, and Lakeshore using Additionally, when the volcano just 1. Teams, take a careful look at erupted, the robots could relocate each [other team’s] robot, both be- the magma (orange pompoms) to ing undefeated,” exclaimed David the other side of the course, which Mutchler, Professor of Computer is negative points for the other Science and Software Engineering, team. commenting on the play of the re- Scoring is based on three parts: gional tournament that took place a seeding round, where each team here at Rose-Hulman last Satur- competes by itself, double elimi- day. Mutchler, along with his wife nation, and a presentation based Sandy, are the co-coordinators for on the ongoing documentation the Midwest Region of Botball. the team has been maintaining. This competition is one of the As part of the documentation, culminating aspects of Mutchler’s teams constructed Gantt charts Albert Mui / Rose Thorn favorite course, Robotics and and utilized design decision mak- Students prepare for the competition as their parents and teams look on at this year’s Botball Competition, Teamwork. “The point of the class ing tools. held in the Computer Science Laboratories in Moench Hall this past Saturday. is to deepen students’ under- “It’s what I most enjoy doing. standing of team work by having It’s my favorite course. It allows Mutchler thinks Botball was, in all,” said Woodard earlier in the Mutchler. them do two things,” explained Rose students to learn by doing part, responsible for that. event. This is the eighth year of the Mutchler. One is to participate in service. I believe that’s a good The competition this year fea- Maximilian Nightingale, a stu- competition in this region. a robotics contest called Beyond way to learn,” said Mutchler. As tured eleven teams, including dent at Lakeshore, was enthusi- Mutchler has supervised all but Botball, and the other is teaching an example of a past success sto- two from here in Terre Haute, astic about the competition. “We one, which was supervised by these same teamwork skills to high ry, one student from McLean Al- North High School and Wood- believed in our teams, we be- Dale Long and Fred Berry while school students. ternative School in Terre Haute row Wilson Middle School. lieved in our robots, we overcame Mutchler was on sabbatical on Botball, at a higher level, is or- was the only one from his team Teams came from all over Indi- with love. Love is all you need. It the African island of Mauritius ganized by the KISS Institute for able to attend the competition. ana as well as one from Michi- was amazing.” (mar ish’ us). All but one has been Practical Robotics. “This region He began the competition with gan. In the past, schools from Terre Haute North came in sec- at Rose – the other was held at is one of the most positive and a quiet and hunched over de- Illinois, St. Louis, and Oklahoma ond. Kiersten Kummerow Brown, ISU when Rose was booked. This spirited and supportive regions,” meanor, explained Mutchler. have competed. One team, Vin- a senior, said that “I joined in region has facilitated in the cre- said KISS representative Elizabeth Prior to one match, a team cennes-Rivet, had more on the middle school and just stuck with ation of two other regions, Okla- Whitewolf, who was the produc- pointed out that his robot was team – 14 – than in the graduat- it ever since then.” Her favorite homa and St. Louis. Next year, tion manager for scoring and other using illegal tires, due to a mix- ing class – 13. part is double elimination. “I like Mutchler is on sabbatical in the relevant activities. up earlier in the day. He used his The winning team came from to see nerds get vicious.” Caribbean Island of Dominica, This year’s tournament was one time out to change the tires. Lakeshore, in Michigan. Mr. “Lakeshore coming with the where he will teach the class to themed after protecting a town He went on to win the match. Woodward, who teaches com- houses, struggling to get in … students there. Mutchler’s vision from a volcano explosion. Play “You could see a visible change puter courses at the school has Meanwhile, Thiery has scored is to teach the course at Rose as took place on a two sided field that in him. He was very proud,” said one of his classes compete each one as well… Volcano goes, that well via distance learning meth- was sectioned off by PVC. Robots Mutchler. The next year, he was year. Each year is a new team. could play a role as well… Very, odology. Next year’s competition were supposed to rescue houses back at North High School, and “They’re doing pretty well over- very close here,” announced will likely be in St. Louis. Dancing in the ARA Tiffany Parrott friendship, but was surprisingly University Village Staff Writer well decorated with balloons, candles, confetti, and an ap- www.uvapartment.com ast Friday night Rose-Hul- petizing bar of refreshments. man sponsored the an- Blumberg 4 planned the event, Lnual freshman formal. who began planning before Now Leasing See Our Website Most have no recollection of spring break. The group cre- the annual event as only about atively assembled the ARA with forty party maniacs show up limited funding given by Nobu- for Fall Semester UVapartments.com every year; however the small toshi Hiro, the freshman class crowd that is present forms an president. The group even sac- intimate and pleasing social rificed their Friday night dinner 3 Fitness Centers gathering. Women dressed in in order to help fund the refresh- cocktail dresses to cat-in-the- ments provided by the ARA. 5 Laundry Centers hat socks dragged dates to the Only such efficient and spirited dance floor to dance to hip-hop planning could have provided songs like “This is Why I’m Hot”, the success of the night. Matt Sign Up Now For Best Selection or old school “Shout”. Initially, Fouts, along with many other the music was loud and out of students, commented, “Yeah, it tune, yet after some coaxing the was great. I had a blast!” University Village Offers: University Village Offers: student DJ pumped up the vol- All in all, the Freshman For- ume in the ARA. mal can be considered a suc- BIGGEST SELECTION WIDE RANGE OF The evening not only had the cess- just ask the sophomores atmosphere of loud music and who returned to it this year. OF STUDENT HOUSING PRICE POINTS -Studio Apts. -1 Bdrm - Standard Apts. per person (sharing a -1 Bdrm - Lofted Apts. 4-Bdrm./2 Bath) Greener, from Page 1 $295 Brandon Couch, a senior me- of the workers. That was pretty -2 Bdrm - 1 Bath Apts. chanical engineer, has been par- cool. That was a nice way for him -2 Bdrm - 2 Bath Apts. ticipating in Campus Beautifica- on behalf of the staff to show their Spacious 1-Bedroom tion for four years. “I signed up to appreciation,” thought Couch. $450 help out with Campus Beautifi- At the conclusion of Campus -3 Bdrm - 2 Bath Apts. cation through my fraternity FIJI. Beautification, students gathered -3 Bdrm - 2 1/2 Bath Townhouses I saw this as a great opportunity around the patio in front of the to volunteer my time and effort Hulman Memorial Union to par- APPLY NOW...while they last! back to the campus and the com- ticipate in a pig roast provided by -4 Bdrm - 2 Bath Apts. for the Location, Size, Features, munity.” the ARA. During the roast, prizes -4 Bdrm - 3 Bath Townhouses “Pete Gustafson came walking were raffled away by members of & Price Point you want around 9:15 passing out decks of RHA to the students who partici- -4 Bdrm - 4 Bath Apts. Rose Hulman playing cards to all pated. CLOSEST HOUSING MOST SPACIOUS BEST FEATURED TO CAMPUS UNITS IN THE CITY UNITS IN THE CITY From all of us atThe Rose Thorn University Village 659 Elm St. 235-8573 have a safe and enjoyable summer! Adjacent to the ISU Library Parking Lot 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn Spider-Man 3 has Miracles: poignant nonfiction humor, action, fanboy by C.S. Lewis Ely Spears from this heavy section is Lewis’s it treats the topic with impeccable argument that a strict naturalism logical rigor. Regardless of your S t a f f W r i t e r complaints is not self-consistent. According particular religious background, Chris Casillas enhances inner aggression in the to Lewis, the belief that all exis- the ideas presented by Lewis are Copy Editor host. Well, in Parker’s case, it is Don’t be fooled by the recent tence can be expressed in terms sure to bring you a greater appre- the angry emo kid, and it is hilari- buzz over “The Chronicles of of time, space, matter, and en- ciation for the compelling nature Last Saturday, I was provided ous. The different scenes where Narnia” (complete with hastily ergy leads to quite the paradox. of the argument for miracles. the opportunity to see Spider- you see Parker walking down the manufactured film adaptation); If it is true that only time, ener- In my (very humble) analysis, Man 3 in IMAX. I have to tell you street “shooting the guns” to un- C.S. Lewis was quite the formida- gy, space, and matter exist, then I feel that Lewis weakens a bit that seeing it in IMAX was amaz- suspecting women reminds me ble thinker. His childhood fiction one can readily reduce human toward the end of the book. He ing, but the movie itself wasn’t somehow of Rose students des- tales, which ever so subtly ooze thought down to the motions of closes with an awkward attempt as amazing as the theatre, and I perately trying to impress. that persona of purity and truth the particles within to expound on the went to the one in the shifty part My biggest disappointments that Lewis himself embodied, will the human brain. future nature of Na- of Indy. with the movie are the following: undoubtedly be outlived by his And if these motions ture itself, in a state Spider-Man 3, directed by Sam I, along with some of the people logical, yet emotionally indicting are merely the spon- redeemed by God. Raimi, who directed both Spider- I saw it with, thought Spider-Man non-fiction works. Among them, taneous byproduct of At this point, the Man and Spider-Man 2, stars To- was too “invincible” for lack of “Miracles” stands out as a re- the initial state of the subjective nature bey Maguire as Peter Parker who better word. He was being pum- freshing look at the age-old ques- universe (if it did, in of religious discus- is everybody’s friendly neigh- meled throughout the movie and tion, Can miracles occur? fact, have an initial sion has taken over borhood spider, until the alien he never once broke a bone. The As always, Lewis is quick to state) then it stands and Lewis’ words symbiote comes to earth and comic books said otherwise. lay the appropriate foundational to reason that all hu- (though profound) causes major mood swings. It The way the movie ends, before work in his discussion. The book man thoughts are are not to be treated also stars Kirsten Dunst as Mary the scene with Mary Jane, Peter, opens by attempting to under- mere accidents and as an analysis. With Jane Watson, Peter’s girlfriend and Harry is a disappointment. stand the psychology of even there is no reason to his argumentative who he always has to rescue from I can’t give it away, but let’s just asking the question about the believe that any sin- footing gone, Lewis harm. James Franco plays Harry say they screwed up (I don’t think possibility of miracles. Accord- gle human thought concludes the book Osborne again, and even if his Carnage will ever enter the movie ing to Lewis, mere evaluation has any intrinsic with some inter- acting is par, is an integral part scene, unless they create some of data cannot decide the issue value or “truth” to it. esting, but purely of the story. The scenes between way to cover themselves). because even that very evalua- But if this is the case, then clearly speculative, claims about Biblical him and Parker make for several Some of the story line dragged tion is first qualified with a pre- the argument for naturalism (or interpretation and the future. intense action sequences. out for too long. It had moments conceived notion of whether or against naturalism) is merely ac- “Miracles” proves to be a very The movie actually had quite when it seemed like it was going not the data could possibly indi- cidental. Boldly, Lewis “see[s] no formidable work in support of an impressive storyline to it. It on forever, (like Parker and his cate the occurrence of a miracle. reason why one accident should the occurrence of miracles and was definitely better than the Emo self) and then the last twen- This pre-determined belief that be able to give a correct account is a text I would recommend to acting in the movie. The Sand- ty minutes were action sequences miracles can never occur is re- of all the other accidents.” anyone possessing an open mind man, aka Flint Marko, played by between Venom, Sandman, and ferred to as naturalism by Lewis Mercifully, Lewis shifts gears about whether or not miracles Thomas Haden Church, is the Spider-Man. If everyone can get and he spends many very dense about halfway through the book. can occur. If you’re looking for a main baddie that Spiderman has over the whole emo part of this chapters demonstrating that this The very dense logical debate is quick or easy read, go elsewhere. to duel with. Church delivered movie, I think it could be seen as brand of naturalism is equivalent exchanged for a rather interest- But for those few willing to put in the best performance out of all a better movie. to a belief that either nothing ing discussion of the Christian the effort, “Miracles” will not dis- of the actors in this entire movie. They never once mentioned exists beyond the temporal uni- miracles. If you are interested in appoint. Marko is actually guy who killed that Venom is actually named verse, or else any externally exist- a philosophical survey of some of Official Thorn rating: 4 elephants Parker’s Uncle Ben, so Parker sets Venom, and they never explained ing objects do not interact with the central Christian claims, this out on revenge. With the aid of what the symbiote is to the au- the temporal universe. book is an excellent resource and the symbiote, Parker’s new pow- dience that doesn’t know about The most interesting point ers fuel his rage even more. The the back story there. The symbi- story focuses on Parker’s decision ote was thrown into the plot and to marry Mary Jane, the revenge wasn’t developed effectively. on Marko, his changing person- However, I enjoyed the movie University Village ality due to the Symbiote and his and thought it was well worth struggles to overcome what he seeing the one time in theatres. If www.uvapartment.com has become, and the small story you’re a fan of Spider-Man, or the behind him and Eddie Brock. previous two movies, go see it in The newcomer to the screen theatres, and if not, or are expect- Now Leasing See Our Website is Topher Grace, who plays the ing more than five minutes with wonderful Venom, but pitiful Ed- Venom, wait for the DVD release die Brock. Grace does an amaz- and save yourself a few dollars. for Fall Semester UVapartments.com ing job at Venom, but he is rarely on screen to actually develop his character. I think Raimi did an 3 Fitness Centers excellent job of developing the relationship between Parker and 5 Laundry Centers Brock, but never really developed the character of Venom like in the comics. Sign Up Now For Best Selection Quite possibly the greatest scene of this entire movie was when there was a cameo by Bruce University Village Offers: University Village Offers: Campbell as Maître d’. For you who are unfamiliar with this awe- BIGGEST SELECTION WIDE RANGE OF some actor, watch Army of Dark- ness and appreciate that which is OF STUDENT HOUSING PRICE POINTS Bruce Campbell (boomstick any- -Studio Apts. one?). The whole scene is hilari- -1 Bdrm - Standard Apts. ous and he has such an excellent per person (sharing a French accent. www.thefilmchair.com -1 Bdrm - Lofted Apts. 4-Bdrm./2 Bath) Outside of Campbell, when Above: Peter Parker still can’t $295 Parker is bonding with the alien keep his mask on. -2 Bdrm - 1 Bath Apts. symbiote, he changes his mood Below: Sandman is impressively similar to his comic incarnation -2 Bdrm - 2 Bath Apts. quickly, because the symbiote $450 Spacious 1-Bedroom -3 Bdrm - 2 Bath Apts. -3 Bdrm - 2 1/2 Bath Townhouses APPLY NOW...while they last! -4 Bdrm - 2 Bath Apts. for the Location, Size, Features, -4 Bdrm - 3 Bath Townhouses & Price Point you want -4 Bdrm - 4 Bath Apts.

CLOSEST HOUSING MOST SPACIOUS BEST FEATURED TO CAMPUS UNITS IN THE CITY UNITS IN THE CITY University Village 659 Elm St. 235-8573 Adjacent to the ISU Library Parking Lot Friday, May 11, 2007 ENTERTAINMENT 5 ‘Scapin’ performed, Powerful You videos of the week “Nightmares” hilarity ensues David Bander Chris Casillas Sylvestre is a hilarious charac- Staff Write r Gregory Weir Copy Editor ter. Bander does an excellent job Flipside Editor at playing the variety of roles that This week, I am hitting 2 of my recently favorited videos. I get a lot of Last week, I went to go see the this character entails. His comic videos by word of mouth, so if you have any more videos you think I Al Qaeda is not an inter- last performance of the year by moments were some of the best need to see, shoot me an e-mail at [email protected]. national terrorist conspir- the Rose-Hulman Drama Club in the comedy. He was able to acy. Sleeper cells are not a in Hatfield Hall. Scapin (pro- play his roles exceptionally well. Facebook infomercial parody credible threat to our safety. nounced ‘Scapeen’) is a comedy Gage did a wonderful job at be- The Islamist movement has based on the works of Moliere. ing Scapin. The most impressive What it is: If you have watched network TV in the past 5 years, no popular support. I thought the comedy was very part of Gage’s performance was you may remember those eHarmony.com success ads. The cre- These are the claims put well done for the short rehearsal the number of lines he had to ators of this video have taken that marketing success and explain- forth by Adam Curtis’s “The time of few weeks. It was impres- memorize. I even heard an audi- ing the success of Facebook in eerily good detail. It makes you Power of Nightmares: The sive the amount of lines the ac- ence member behind me men- ask, “Am I a Freddie or Dick?” or “Did I confirm confirm confirm Rise of the Politics of Fear,” tors had memorized for this play. tion that they were amazed that confirm?” produced by the BBC and The acting was also quite impres- he was able to remember all his Search for: facebook infomercial available for free at http:// sive, with the craziness of Scapin, lines. www.archive.org/details/ to the excellent piano played by The comedy is full of action, ThePowerOfNightmares. Michael Nguyen. violence, some sexual innuen- The documentary tells The comedy centers around do, and a lot of fun overall. The the story of the rise of Is- Scapin, played by senior Chris- story was excellent and the cos- lamism and neoconserva- tian Gage, who helps out Oc- tumes went very well with the tism over the past half-cen- tave, played by David Pope, and comedy. They even had a long tury. It begins with their Leander, played by Andrew By- chase scene, which reminded origins in two men, Sayyid rley, with the help of Sylvestre, me too much of those Scooby Qutb and Leo Strauss, and played by David Bander. Scapin Doo episodes where they would documents the rise and fall is somewhat of a con artist who go into the hallway with 8 doors of both movements, as well uses his wit, among other things, and manage to spend 5 minutes as their rebirth in the cur- to create a story of deception in traveling through all different ar- A drunk man trapped on M.C. Escher’s infinite rent “war on terror.” Cur- order to help Octave and Leander rangements of doors. staircase tis’s argument is that the marry the women of their de- Overall, it was difficult to find dangers of terrorism have sires. The main problem Scapin something I didn’t like about this What it is: A computer animation of a drunk man who gets been exaggerated through encounters are Argante, played comedy. There were times when himself in a very bad situation. He tries going left, right, up, down, a combination of factors, by Nick Slabaugh and Geronte, the humor was lacking, but there inside, outside, insideout…. and still remains in the infinite stairs. resulting in a political situ- played by Jarod Markley, fathers were times when it was hilarious. Will he ever get out? Watch the video and find out. ation where pessimism, not of Octave and Leander. The play I really enjoyed the comedy and Search for: drunk infinite staircase optimism, is the best politi- focuses on the tales Scapin and felt it was worth it to spend an cal strategy. Our politicians the brilliant slapstick by Sylvestre hour and a half of my day to go no longer promise a better to make a wonderful comedy. out and see this comedy. tomorrow, argues Curtis; iTunes single this week they instead offer dire, un- realistic warnings of “dirty Rachel Howser Another genre is included when bombs” and international S t a f f W r i t e r the chorus begins. The chorus is conspiracies. reminiscent of the chorus from a Throughout, the series Every week, iTunes offers up a rap song which has been a popu- presents its arguments with song for free download. iTunes‘ lar trend in many genres. This compelling and logical rea- Free Single of the Week is Kevin is exemplified by artists such as soning. This is no “Fahren- Michael’s “We all Want the Same Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, heit 9/11;” while the claims Thing” (Acoustic). The song is a Gwen Stefani, and the Pussycat presented seem sensa- delightful blend of several genres. Dolls. Unlike another version of tional, they are supported It begins with an acoustic guitar the song featuring Lupe Fiasco, calmly and convincingly. I coupled with a catchy percussion the acoustic version does not was convinced to do more beat giving an almost alterna- actually feature a rap artist. One research and look into the tive feel. Michael’s singing style can listen to the other version on facts of the case, and I think is a pop/R&B hybrid. The lyrics Michael’s MySpace page: http:// you will be too. provide a positive message im- www.myspace.com/kevinmich- Dale Long / Rose-Hulman plying that all people are alike in aelmusic. The song is worth the The cast of Scapin had only a few short weeks to practice the show. that “we all want the same thing.” free download.

THE HUMANITIES & SOCIAL SCIENCES DEPARTMENT WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE OUR 2007 ECONOMICS MAJORS, TECHNICAL TRANSLATORS, AND AREA MINORS:

ECONOMICS (DOUBLE MAJORS) GERMAN LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE KYLE ERICKSON GILBERT GRADY ERIK BABCOCK NICHOLAS ALEXANDER ALEX FINE COLE DUDLEY JOSEPH A. BERG CRYSTAL R. ARCHIE RODNEY ALLEN FLETCHER JAVID KHAN KATHERINE CHRISTENSEN MICHAEL BRANDELL JENNIFER FREY ALEX LAMONT BRYAN J. CORNELIUS ALEXANDER B. COOK ELLIOT GOODMAN KYLE DOUGLASS CARMEN DUVALL ALEX C. GREVE ANTHROPOLOGY AMELIA MAE HUEHLS CHARLENE M. DVORACEK MICAH GUTHRIE ERIC CLIFFT ANDREW JOHNSON ANDREW M. HUNT ROBERT M. HAWKINS NATHAN D. MARKS JOHN JENKINSON JOSHUA HEIGERT EAST ASIAN STUDIES KRISTIN E. MILLER VICTORIA LEE MATTHEW HURST CHRISTOPHER HALVORSON PIOTR PELCER STEPHEN A. LEWIS CHRISTOPHER JESTER THOMAS WERNE GEORGE MILLS JAVID KHAN ECONOMICS BRYAN WIENAND ROSS POLAND KENNETH KOWALIK RILEY BUTTRY JESSECA ZAPF CODY PORTER STEPHEN A. LEWIS ANDREW COMPTON ANTHONY SLOAN JEFF LIAO GREG ERNEST HISTORY ERIC W. VOLZ MATTHEW MCLINN ALEX FINE AARON HALL GREGORY WEIR NEIL MILLER ADAM L. FLAKE ISAAC P. NOLAN MACLEAN GAULIN JAPANESE PHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION STEVEN SHEPSON KEITH WILLIAM GODIN SCOTT AIKIN BRADLEY NUSSBAUM SHAINA STEWARD DEVYASH GOEL PETER J. ALLEY TIM WILSON GAUTHAM VENUGOPALAN MICHAEL GOUGH STEVE BAKER REBECCA WALTZ MICHAEL R. HAUGHNEY JON BOYCE POLITICAL SCIENCE FREDERICK WEBBER FLAVEL HEYMAN AMANDA L. BRIGHT DREW ELLIOTT BOWMAN WILLIAM D. WHITEHOUSE, III JACOB KRALL PHILLIP FLANDERS WILLIAM A. FREEMAN DANIEL LAPLANTE IDRIS ABDUL HAFIZ AARON HALL TECHNICAL TRANSLATION NATHAN D. MARKS CHRISTOPHER HALVORSON JUSTIN HUTCHINGS MARCUS ALEXANDER ANDREW MATIUKAS JACOB KRALL BOHLEMANN MATTHEW A. MAYER ANDREA LEICHTMAN SPANISH JEFFREY MICHAEL BROWN PHILIP MCFARLANE ERIC W. LIAUW BRIAN BELCHER AARON HOOGLAND JOSHUA D. MEEHL DAVID MASSEY MARCUS ALEXANDER MARK JOHANNING PIOTR PELCER PATRICK MCMAHON BOHLEMANN SCOTT PARKER NICK PENZER JOSEPH MODER BRANDON BORKHOLDER JOHN RUDOLPHI ROBERT PURVINES SEHO ALAN MYUNG ANDREA LYNN BROWN ERIC P. SMITH STEVEN SAWUSCH LEYLAND ROBINSON RILEY BUTTRY JEANMARIE KATHLEEN STYNES ALAN SCHROEDER AMANDA ROHDE CHRISTINA CHRISMAN KATHRYN A. WALTER KEVIN C. SMALLEY JEFFREY RUBITSCHUN KATHERINE CHRISTENSEN RAY THROOP ALEXANDER Y. TUNIS TODD J. CLEMENTONI GAUTHAM VENUGOPALAN MICHAEL TURPYN ALEXANDER B. COOK MITCHELL VLAMINCK FREDERICK WEBBER BRENT MICHAEL COVELE MICHAEL D. WESSEL JOEL DERBY CHARLENE M. DVORACEK 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn President of the French Republic European voice in the world com- 35-hour work week, because that munity. is a topic that is too divisive at the Upon winning the election, Sar- moment. He is looking to cut the And the kozy declared, “Tonight, France is unemployment rate from 8.3 per- opinion back in Europe.” For some, this cent to an ambitious goal of natu- statement is not clear, because it ral unemployment of 5 percent. is... is not like France packed her bags In addition to attacking the and went to the Bahamas for a va- sluggish economy, Sarkozy plans cation. In declaring this, Sarkozy is to enforce law and order in making it known that France will France. On this, his reputation is Andrew Klusman be reassuming its historical, prom- well-known and very divisive. In O p i n i o n s E d i t o r inent place in European politics. 2005, he was the one that referred This is an important position that to the rioters as thugs and vermin, On May 6, 2007, Nicolas Sar- France must reclaim, and it is not something those sympathetic to kozy was elected President of the made any easier with the resound- the rioters did not take kindly to. French Republic, after having de- ing “non” to the European Union In that same year, following the feated Socialist Party candidate Sé- Constitution in 2005. For most shooting of an eleven year old boy golène Royal in a hotly contested of European history, France has who was washing his father’s car, candidacy that saw an eighty-five been the major player in almost all he promised to clean up the neigh- percent voter turnout (better than events, and for them to fade into borhood “with a Kärcher,” citing a the turnout the United States had irrelevance will not sit well with company that makes high-pres- in 2004). Sarkozy received fifty- them. Sarkozy looks poised to sure hoses. He also has plans to three percent of the votes in the bring France back to the forefront enforce and reform French immi- election, with Royal garnering the of all things European. gration laws, something he has a remaining 47 percent, giving the Although Sarkozy has been la- strong past on. As Interior Minis- newly-elected President an image beled a conservative in the media, ter, he pushed through measures of authority along with a mandate it is not proper to assume that he to curb illegal immigration (using to bring change to France. and President Bush will be the best such methods like deportation) France has been experienc- of friends right off the bat. Sar- and to integrate skilled migrants http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Nicolas_Sarkozy ing problems such as a restless kozy has taken a position against into French society. Newly elected French President Nicholas Sarkozy giv- lower class, a high unemployment the Iraq War, and he has called on On the other domestic front, he ing a speech. rate, and a stagnant economy, Bush to do more to combat global also promotes strong family val- and Sarkozy is poised to fix those warming. It is likely that France ues, and has been criticized for his problems. His new agenda also in- will become closer to the United view that children should not be cludes plans to liberalize employ- States, at least compared to how raised in solely secular or republi- Microsoft buying ment laws, to be tough on crime, it was under Jacques Chirac’s can values. In addition to that, he and to control immigration. The presidency. The relationship be- has called for the reduction of the Yahoo‽ French electorate have chosen tween Sarkozy and Bush will likely separation of church and state in Andrew Carlson This leaves Microsoft in a wisely, as Sarkozy is an excellent mirror that of German Chancel- France and has even called for the Photo Editor desperate position. As it looses choice for France, especially con- lor Angela Merkel and President subsidization of mosque-build- ground in the Internet market, sidering France’s past, and how Bush. It may, however, be time ing, so as to help Muslims inte- Recently Wall Street was buzz- Google begins to flank Micro- their future is looking at the mo- to re-rename those tasty golden grate better into French society. ing with the news of a possible soft by providing on-line alter- ment. With rising bouts of protests sticks back to “French fries.” All in all, Nicolas Sarkozy has acquisition of Yahoo by Micro- natives to Microsoft Office, and that arise from immigrant youths On the economic front, Sarkozy bright prospects as the incoming soft. The possibility of such a a desktop search engine which against new policies, and consid- is looking to promote a culture of French President. As long as he merger sent investors scrabbling rivals what Microsoft developed ering the fact that their European working in France. To do this, he stays true to what he has been in for Yahoo stock and bloggers for Vista. What caused Micro- influence is waning as Great Brit- has a very ambitious agenda, at the past, he will be able to bring for their keyboards. The deal is soft to loose so much ground so ain and Germany increase and least in French terms. First, he France and her people from be- currently off, but if it had gone quickly? One of the primary rea- start to flex their political muscle, wants to end the ridiculous taxes hind the curtain of the European through, major shock waves sons is a difference in corporate Sarkozy is poised to place France on overtime pay for workers to get Union and have them claim their would have been felt throughout culture. While Google attracts at the forefront of European poli- them working more. He is distanc- rightful, prominent seat in Euro- the Internet search industry. new, talented individuals with tics once again and represent the ing himself from touching on the pean politics. Microsoft has good reasons compelling employee benefits, to consider such a deal. For Microsoft draws mostly upon its years Microsoft has been fall- existing base of employees who I should probably be asleep ing behind one of its largest ri- must deal with the complexi- vals, Google. As Google began ties of Microsoft’s time tested John Pinkus of this wasted time, I only hear est sources of entertainment that I to dominate the Internet search corporate structure. Instead of S t a f f W r i t e r people complain they don’t waste am aware of. Unlike television and and advertising market, Micro- welding more companies onto more of their finite time on the movies, I am always the protago- soft put together its alterna- the huge Microsoft corporate While writing my final article third rock from the sun. Truth be nist in my dreams. The cast in my tive to the failing MSN search structure, Microsoft needs to for volume 42 of this esteemed typed, the time when we are asleep dreams comprise of individuals engine. It is called “Live.com” reexamine its foundation to see periodical, there are many things is an opportunity to regenerate from various groups of people that and looks at first glance to be a what Google has that it doesn’t. I am noticing. First off, there isn’t many cells in our bodies. Without will never meet each other in per- Google.com clone. Although it Buying users off of companies any natural light penetrating my a lack of motion, we will literally son. The setting is a combination may have improved upon the like Yahoo won’t help Microsoft assigned occupational place for cease to function in about 10 days. of places that aren’t geographically MSN search engine it couldn’t develop software. Although Mi- this academic year. Furthermore, I feel that sleep is a Sisyphean near each other. Though unlike a grab enough Google users to crosoft may buy more time with although I reside with 33 other task. My body will never be con- television or movie, these dreams take a bite out of Google’s grow- its acquisitions its real battle like-minded individuals, there is tent with the time I give it to re- can only occur once. If I open my ing market share. with Google is yet to come. only one other person who isn’t generate itself. As evidence to this, eyes, the events that occur during currently experiencing rapid eye there hasn’t been a morning since I the dreams are immediately re- movements. Every other person have resided in Terre Haute when moved from my awareness. Like has voluntarily decided to remove I haven’t hit the “snooze” button a person destroying the electrical the possibility of performing vol- multiple times. Every morning, connection to a television, there 1000 Words untary motions for an extended during this “snooze time” I run isn’t any way to get back into my Erin Hudson period of time. a cost-ben- dreams. I would probably give up We do not have efit analysis my sense of smell if I could have to voluntarily re- I personally on whether a way to fully document these move our ability to maintain a events. to maintain our enjoy this waste horizontal spine I am getting to the point in the consciousness, of time for one position or a article when the direction where but this ability vertical spine it should go isn’t clear. I feel like a will be removed very important position. There squirrel that has left the stove on. from us at a cer- are some morn- I have already discussed many as- tain point. This reason ings where I pects of sleep during this article. point is usually “ turn off the abil- I could talk about all the little at a very inop- ity of three sepa- games I have played to influence portune time, rate electronic my sleep cycle, but none of them like when a person with at least devices to perform the main func- have ever worked. Also, my head five more years of higher educa- tion for which they were manufac- feels like my brain is compressing tion than me is having a conversa- tured. I don’t know how this event into a point on my forehead. The tion with a group of people. These transpires, because I purposely ar- eyelids that are covering all but 31 conversations are atypical because ”range for each of these alarms to percent of my eyes seem to pos- they usually involve one speaker. commence at a different time. sess the mass of my right index These voluntary choices to I personally enjoy this waste of finger. These two ailments can remove consciousness have oc- time for one very important rea- be relieved by one action. I just curred in every person that has the son: the events that occur in my hope that I don’t turn off my three ability to comprehend these black sub-consciousness during the alarms because it is obvious when shapes, by at least a quarter of their REM cycle. The dreams that tran- a person isn’t in a sixteen-mem- life. Yet instead of an outcry for all spire during this time are the great- ber class. Friday, May 11, 2007 SPORTS 7 Spring sports in review

Bob Prescott or even season this spring. of 77s on Friday and Saturday to Evert (400-meter hurdles, 1:09.84), Staff Writer Rottman also earned first-team lead the team. Thomas Reives (triple jump, 42’ all-HCAC honors in men’s tennis Sophomore Coy McNew, fresh- 11”), Matt Repking (3,000-meter The Rose-Hulman athletic de- for his efforts this spring. Rott- man Dan Stanage and junior Kyle steeplechase, 9:39.11), and Kath- partment earned a strong sec- man led the Engineers with a 15- Wilson each tied for 18th place leen Stynes (pole vault, 9’ 0 1/4”). ond-place finish in the 2006-07 8 singles record, with all matches with four-day totals of 331. Mc- The team result of second for the Heartland Collegiate Athletic at the number 1 position. In New fired rounds of 77 and 80 men’s squad is the best finish in Conference Commissioner’s Cup singles play, Rottman completed this weekend, Stanage pitched in a conference championship for standings. The results were re- his Rose-Hulman career with a a 75 and 83, while Wilson scored a Rose-Hulman team since 1989, leased Tuesday, May 8. record of 49-34. 84 and 74. when the Engineers captured the The Commissioner’s Cup is In doubles action, Rottman fin- Junior Ryan Mitchell added a College Athletic Conference title, awarded to the institution ac- ished 16-10 as primarily a num- 24th place finish in a total of 335, while the women’s third-place cumulating the most standings ber 1 doubles player. He teamed with rounds of 80 and 84 on Fri- finish marked a school record, points in the HCAC’s 19 league with freshman Michael Schou- day and Saturday. and champions Belton, Evert championship events. Anderson macher for an 11-4 record at the and Stynes join Nikki Overman, University won the 2006-07 Com- number 1 slot. a 1997 Rose graduate as a confer- missioner’s Cup with 92.5 points, Rottman also became the first ence champion. followed by Rose-Hulman at 92. Rose-Hulman men’s tennis player Track and Field Schipper, since the conference Manchester College placed since 2001 to earn all-conference meet, has automatically quali- third in the standings with 90 honors for his efforts throughout The Engineers traveled to Bluff- fied for the NCAA Division III points, followed by Franklin (86) the entire season. Rose Hulman News ton University for the conference Track and Field Outdoor National and Transylvania (82). Freshman Sam Danesis won tournament and took second in Championships with the second- “I think it’s a testament to the HCAC Most Valuable Player for men’s and third in women’s com- best pole vault effort in school quality of our coaching staff and Softball women’s tennis. petition with a total of eight indi- history on Wednesday with a student-athletes that we came (13-21, 8-8 HCAC) vidual league champions. Senior vault of 16’ 6”, behind only two- within one-half point of winning away from making the four-team Ryan Schipper and junior Janel time national champion Ryan the Commissioner’s Cup in our The Engineer softball squad conference tournament. The En- Belton swept the Field Athlete of Loftus, who cleared 16’ 7 1/4” in first season in the league. We are finished the season tied for 5th gineers completed their sixteenth the Meet honors with a confer- 1998. The Outdoor Nationals will proud to have accomplished so place in the conference; a mere winning season in the last 17 years ence record mark in pole vault (15’ be held on May 24 at the Univer- much as a department this year,” game and a half from making the and seventh in a row. 8 1/4”) by Schipper with place- sity of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. said Rose-Hulman athletic direc- conference tournament. The team was led by senior ments in the triple jump (41’ 3”) Senior Mandy Hecker closed tor Jeff Jenkins. The Engineers were led offen- designated hitter Matt Salisbury, and long jump (20’ 11 1/4”), and out her college career with a The tally of success for Rose- sively by ESPN the Magazine Ac- batting .370 with 40 hits on the new school records and victories school record performance to Hulman athletics this season in- ademic All-District second team year. Salisbury capped his his- in the discus throw (125’ 2”) and lead the Engineers at the Billy cluded five second-place finishes honoree junior outfielder Katie toric run at Rose-Hulman in the shot put (38’ 4 1/4”) by Belton. Hayes Invitational last Friday in the league play. Frey, with a .416 batting average final week of his playing career, Other conference champions night. Hecker ran a 1,500-me- Second-place teams this sea- (third in the conference), 37 hits, when he became the all-time hits include Michael Burris (110-high ter time of 4:48.60 to finish third son included women’s basketball, 20 runs scored, and 19 RBIs this leader with 194, leader in runs hurdles, 15.54 seconds), B.J. Esar- against a field primarily consist- women’s cross country, men’s season. Frey holds the Rose-Hul- scored with 150, and a HCAC ey (javelin throw, 170’ 11”), Katy ing of NCAA Division I runners. soccer, men’s track and field, and man career softball home run Baseball Player of the Week hon- women’s tennis. The Engineers record with seven; her slugging oree. Salisbury also holds Rose- also tallied third-place finishes percentage of .584 ranked third in Hulman records with 57 doubles in women’s soccer and women’s school history, while her on-base and 100 walks and ranks second Engineer Scoreboard track and field to help achieve the average of .464 stands sixth on all-time with a .484 on-base per- Baseball team score of 92. the single-season list, and stands centage and seven pitching saves Individually, four Rose-Hul- fifth all-time with 20 doubles. on the mound. 21-18 (12-10) man student-athletes earned Rose-Hulman also had a pair Also receiving area honors, se- May 5 HCAC Most Valuable Player hon- of players on the seventeen-play- nior catcher Adam Knaack was Rose-Hulman 4 Rose-Hulman 5 ors. Senior Yaw Aning (men’s er all-conference team in senior named to the second-team ESPN at Mt. St. Joseph 8 at Mt. St. Joseph 4 soccer), junior Janel Belton (Field centerfielder and shortstop Amy the Magazine Academic All-Dis- Events for track and field), fresh- Viles and freshman pitcher Jor- trict honors for his success on the Men’s Golf man Sam Danesis (women’s ten- dan Goslee. playing field and in the classroom. May 4-5 nis) and senior Ryan Schipper Viles ranked second on the En- Although Knaack, a civil engi- HCAC Tournament 4th out of 8 teams (pole vault) were chosen as the gineers in batting average at .393 neering major, was held to a .223 Anderson, IN top player in their respective with 33 hits, 20 runs scored, 18 batting average this season, his sport by league coaches. RBIs and two triples. She became true value to the team is shown by Rose-Hulman’s success also Rose-Hulman’s all-time career Rose-Hulman pitching statistics: Track and Field included a league-best 40 aca- leader in hits with 120 this sea- in games Knaack started behind May 4 demic all-conference honorees son and also holds the mark for the plate, the team compiled a Billy Hayes Invitational Unscored during the fall season, including at bats with 428, and she stands 4.02 earned run average; in other Bloomington, IN Academic All-Americans Ryan in the top ten in 11 statistical cat- contests, the team ERA was 6.51. Robinson, Kathleen Stynes, and egories. May 9 Matt Trowbridge. Goslee led the pitching staff IUPUI Invitational Schipper to Nationals with an 11-8 record and a 4.62 Men’s Golf earned run average in her first Indianapolis, IN Men’s Tennis season of college softball. She (11-9, 5-3 HCAC) ranks second on the single-sea- The men’s golf team capped son school record list with a pair the 2007 men’s golf season with Learning Center Review Sessions The men’s tennis team finished of shutouts and is third in Engi- a fourth-place finish at the HCAC with an 11-9 record in a season neer history in wins (11), com- championships at the Anderson Wednesday, May 16 Thursday, May 17 that featured four HCAC Player plete games (17) and strikeouts Country Club on Saturday. The 6-8pm 6-8pm of the Week awards. Senior Joe (92) in a season. fourth-place finish marked Rose- EM120 O167/169 PH112 O267 Rottman led the Engineers with Hulman’s best effort in a confer- ES205 O157/159 PH113 O167/169 a 15-8 record at the number 1 ence championship since the ES202 O159 singles position, highlighted by Baseball 1999 season. two league Player of the Week Senior Daniel Williams led the 8-10pm (21-18, 12-10 HCAC) 8-10pm awards. Engineers with a strong twelfth MA113 O167/169 CHEM202 O169 The Engineers qualified for the place finish with a four-round MA221 O267 ES204 O167 HCAC semifinals and completed The baseball team finished the score of 327. Williams shot a pair MA222 O159 CHEM115 O267 their tenth consecutive winning year fifth in the HCAC, just a game

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One-Topping Store Hours... One-Topping Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am Rose Hulman News 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 Congratulations to all of the graduating student-athletes who have Campus Only 9 ONLY Campus Only shown the utmost dedication and determination in each sport. 232-PAPA 7

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Friday, May 11, 2007 8

This week’s quark: strange This week’s monkey: rhesus This week’s groundnut: goober Weird Jakubowski story Top 10 Philip Becker was only four lines. of the year 3000 would be digging Staff Writer Another time, when Kevin up the archives of our ancient reasons to pass the top ten torch Sorbo (of “Hercules: The Legend- civilization and fi nd parchament Matthew Melton I have a weird obsession with ary Journeys”) was signing auto- describing the time I gave my Staff Writer wanting to have weird stories graphs, I fi gured I’d go up there school’s president a fl at tire and concerning celebrities. It’s not and arm wrestle him. Win or critics would pour over the tale 10. I haven’t mentioned Hertz nearly as much as he’d like me to. Then enough for me to meet someone lose, it’s a great story. Shake his and write volumes about it. again, I could just talk about someone else no one knows. famous; I have to make it an ex- hand? Bah! Arm wrestle him like But then that thing that sets 9. It’s time to move on. Maybe I’ll write a column. Ed: he can write traordinary meeting. I mean, a man! off sirens in your brain when whatever he wants-in the Classifi eds section. saying “I met Famous Person X” The urge to create a new, excit- you have a terrible idea started 8. Flipsidenomics, Rose TV... the possibilities for amazing new Flip- is one thing, but saying, “I gave ing celebrity story struck me on screaming in my head. I was side sections are… actually just those two right now. I can’t Famous Person X the ‘good game’ my way back from class the other one quarter from graduating. think of any more. butt pat!” is something entirely day. Dr. Jakubowski was walking If I gave the President of my 7. Everyone knows me as the Top Ten guy. I can’t walk outside Dem- different. in front of me. Immediately I had school a flat tire, knowing my ing without being swarmed by fans. I just want to have a nor- For example, I got to meet Tony the urge to give him a fl at tire. luck, he’d stumble really hard: mal engineering social life. Someone else can have the fame. Park (Darth Maul of “Star Wars: Not like the crazy ex-girlfriend one of those stumbles where 6. Will I or won’t I write the Top Tens next year? It’s the biggest cliff- Episode I” and Toad in “X-Men”). who slashes your tires, but like your stepping foot bumps into hanger of the summer! Did I just shake his hand and the 3rd grade fl at tire. The one the back of your balancing foot 5. There’s only so many times I can mention Purdon’t, Depauw, tell him I was a fan? No, I had to where you briskly walk up behind and you have nowhere to go women, Civils, Mountain Dew, Rose women, Halo, women, ask him why he never had more someone and step on their heel but to the ground. My school’s ARA, Rose women, Rose women, WoW, women, Rose women, than four lines in any of his mov- as they step up so they stumble president would fall face first calculators, Rose women, sleep deprivation, insert repetitive ies. Then he tried to tell me he a little bit. And if I did that to the onto the concrete sidewalk, element here, women, and still be funny. had more than four in “Ballistic: school’s president (from what I and I would be able to do noth- 4. My editor liked “Top ten reasons I should be fi red” so much, he’s Ecks vs Sever,” and I told him that hear) he would probably smile at ing but look on in horror as my actually gonna fi re me. movie sucked. So then he told me and say, “Oh, you crazy kids!” Rose-Hulman degree slipped 3. I have written “suggestions” from certain unnamed groups (see 4 me he had eight lines in X-Men. I The hilarity of the time when I from my fingers. The sound of and 5, above) to quit now or die. Painfully. By goose attack. called him on it, he recited them gave Jakubowski a fl at tire would Jakubowski’s laughter over the 2. I’m getting old. My word counts can’t go past 90, my keyboard all to me, and then had to agree: it be a story that I could tell for sound of shredding diplomas isn’t what it used to be, and I’m already on my third writing-re- many days on end. Many, many would haunt my every dream. lated concussion. It’s time to throw in the towel. Wacky prof quotes days on end. It’d be a story I That is a risk I’m not willing to 1. Next year I’ll have to write for…who the heck would tell to my children’s chil- take. With the president. But I “Occasion- dren and would get slowly woven might fi nd it hilarious to do it to is Alex Clerc? ally there’s a into the fabric of history. Humans you one of these days. fi sh orgy going The end is nigh there, and you Notes for an undelivered James Zhou whose sacred pages are written gotta slap it...” Staff Writer the signs of the end! The fi rst sign —Prof. Carvill, acceptance speech shall be wanton drunkenness, on fi sh orgies Gregory Weir Anyway, humor’s more than The end is nigh on the 25th of which we all know has already Humor Editor laughter. Humor is how we dis- May, happened. Repeatedly. With “They were all in uniform; tance ourselves from things in When the nerds disappear on that great frequency. And amplitude. they weren’t dressed like (Wait for applause to die down. order to process them. We fear day, I forgot what the second sign is bums like you guys are.” Find a friend in the audience to injury and death, but when the As the fi nals taketh their last hope due to the effects of the fi rst sign. —Prof. Leader, fashion police greet. If you don’t recognize any- Three Stooges are beaten merci- away, Anyway, the third sign is that at a one, say, “Hey, Matt, how’s it go- lessly, we’re able to understand Or at least that is what I have distant corner of our land, a great “You can fi nd ways to do your ing?” Someone will respond.) and accept the reality of our fra- heard battle will be fought. The sounds work without breaking the All right, all right. Thank you. gility. We’re intimidated by our What? I’m not a poet. Why is this of this glorious confl ict will carry law or fi nding loopholes to Thanks. Quiet down. All right. professors, but when we read centered anyway? Stupid Adobe. the message that the end is near. break the law.” I just don’t know how to tell you funny things they say, we’re able The fi nal sign of the end is the fi - —Prof. Chidanandan, be- folks how honored I am to get to see them as human beings. Ever since I returned from nal supper which shall be our last ing optimistic this prestigious award. I mean, And then there’s satire. Often, spring vacation, I’ve felt a grim meal... that is good … here before I don’t have a speech prepared the best way to make a point is to foreboding presence the end! So hear me “I hate to waste a good apol- or anything, so forgive me if this argue the opposite. By showing at Rose. Perhaps it and prepare for the ogy! Damn!” comes out all wrong. (Shrug the absurdity of intelligent de- is because of a pair Then again, end! Let us band —Prof. Carvill, on pre-for- sheepishly.) sign or the theory of gravity, we’re of ravens deciding maybe it’s all the together, combine getting Mother’s Day If you had told me three and able to argue our position more to nest outside my pills I’ve been our skills, and de- a half years ago that I would be effectively. window, or the occa- fend ourselves “Regardless of whether ogres standing here tonight, in this go- I’ve tried to bring to the Flipside sional loss of Internet taking. with an artifi cially or onions have layers, net- rilla suit, accepting an award for a combination of irreverence and access, or that black intelligent mutant works do.” Lifetime Acheivement in Humor respect. In the years to come, I cat that wandered rabbit made out of —Prof. Merkle, who Editing, I wouldn’t have believed would like to see people continue under my loft ladder and broke concrete armed with lasers and watches too many child- you. After all, the doctors told me to poke fun at what people hold my mirror, whose shards“ pierced slingshots that shoot canisters rens’ movies I would never laugh again. How- dear. However, those who joke the souvenir voodoo doll I got of butyric acid producing Ebola. ever, I have learned something should make sure to consider when I visited Hell, Michigan to And, um, the math majors can do “My handouts are not good, very valuable over these four how their jokes make people feel. fi ght a schizophrenic pirate ninja a Taco Bell run for the rest of us. but I hope they are very years. If you’re the only ones laughing, hobo juggler. Then again, maybe ” suggestive.” The power of humor. Now, it’s it’s not humor; it’s mockery. it’s all the pills I’ve been taking. This day... —Prof. Radu, knowing her pretty easy to make people laugh. In conclusion, thank you for Ah, nappein, aspirin, and tic tacs, audience Watch. (Make silly face.) Poo. this recognition. I’ve tried to where would I be without you? Our cold, Send your prof quotes or Pooooooop. make your lives all a little better, Wait, I’m getting off topic. 1997: emotionless other humor material to See? Our president laughed. and I think I have. Farewell, and Yes, the end is nigh! I knoweth overlords strike their fi rst [email protected] Hey, Dr. J. How’s the wife? remember to save all barcodes. this from the Book of Calendar, on blow against us mindless fl eshbags when the computer Deep Blue beats human grand master Garry Kasp- arov at chess. ...in history

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