DOCSLIB.ORG

Chairchoob Plucks the Scotmid Chickens Friday, 03 January 2014 18:06

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Chairchoob Plucks the Scotmid Chickens Friday, 03 January 2014 18:06 Chairchoob plucks the Scotmid chickens Friday, 03 January 2014 18:06 By Huvva Feel, Our Cooperative Correspondent Chairchoob of the Committee Of Conservative Kleptomaniacs, Ian Davidson MP, gathered his flock of Parliamentarians from Scotlandshire [1] to condemn the splittist propaganda that Scotmid customers are being forced to buy. "Abody kens, that aw the Natz get orgasmic aboot ony Braveheart references", he crlucked. "That's why we spik aboot it aw the time an' they nivver mention it at aw. Bit it's awfae crude tae use 'farm lay' as a slogan. Ma' London agency provides great city lays - bit they guarantee that there's nae chance o' eggs bein' activated. They're a bitty mair expensive, bit 'ats why Ah need the extra cash frae the Co-op." Barren Ffoulkes (former Brahms and Liszt MSP) demanded to know why there had been no debate in the House of Lords about this threat to British unity. "As a long term beneficiary of Cooperative Party funding, I've always known that it's just a clever way of funding the British 1 / 3 Chairchoob plucks the Scotmid chickens Friday, 03 January 2014 18:06 Labour Party, however I've always had my doubts about these Scotmid bastirts. They boast about it being Scotland's largest 'independent' co-operative, and that's dangerous talk. Real cooperation is based on being told what to do from those in England that know better, not pretending that you can be 'independent' and still cooperate with others internationally. "Not only did they refuse to be incorporated into the Manchester Co-op, but they have dared to expand south of the border and sieze control of the Penrith Co-op. That's clearly typical of Dictator Eck's imperial ambitions to seize control of those parts of northern England with strong insurgent elements opposed to London (or Manchester) rule. "How much do they charge for champagne?" Labour blogger, Ian Smart, tweeted his thoughts to the attack. "Scotmid? Boiled eggs - Constipation Use suppository Use them all the time, constipated or not. Increase my shite output. Been commented on." Market analyst, Dr Coontyer Change, said that politics had been replaced by product branding. "In modern society", he said, "and reluctantly, I have to include Scotlandshire in that description, product placement is all that matters. As a marketing strategy, Salmond has pulled off a masterstroke here, by placing a Braveheart reference on the packaging of an everyday product. I've advised Alastair Darling to follow a similar course of action. 2 / 3 Chairchoob plucks the Scotmid chickens Friday, 03 January 2014 18:06 "Obvious placements would be to ensure that the U-KOK logo is printed on all condoms sold in Scotlandshire, and for whisky and soda to be placed side by side on supermarket shelves under the label 'Better Together'." A Scotmid spokeshen responded, "It was a joke. Braveheart was a big laugh, and the only people who think it carries any significance are those who don't understand the Scots. Are we really helping to fund these idiots? We might need to change our policy on that." [1] The Scotlandshire Parliamentarians who are funded by the Co-operative Group (despite the Manchester based Co-op not paying out any 'divvi' to members this year) are Ian Davidson MP; Gemma Doyle MP; Tom Greatrex MP; Cathy Jamieson MP; Mark Lazarowicz MP; Claudia Beamish MSP; Kezia Dugdale MSP; James Kelly MSP; Johann Lamont MSP; Thomas McLaughlin McAvoy, Baron McAvoy; John Francis McFall, Baron McFall of Alcluith; Lewis George Moonie, Baron Moonie; George Foulkes, Baron Foulkes of Cumnock. Comments Due to the huge number of complaints, comments are no longer banned on BBC Scotlandshire News pages. {fcomment} Comments or no comments, it's still OUR job to tell YOU what to think - NOT the other way around. 3 / 3.
Load more

Recommended publications
  • Written Answers
    Thursday 6 October 2011 SCOTTISH EXECUTIVE Finance and Sustainable Growth Sandra White (Glasgow Kelvin) (Scottish National Party): To ask the Scottish Executive what progress it has made on the development of its cities strategy. (S4O-00266) Nicola Sturgeon: We are working to publish the strategy by the end of 2011 and all six cities are fully engaged in working collaboratively with Scottish Government to identify specific areas where a cities strategy can add most value. Health and Wellbeing Derek Mackay (Renfrewshire North and West) (Scottish National Party): To ask the Scottish Executive what progress has been made by NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde on the delivery of a family nurse partnership. (S4O-00262) Nicola Sturgeon: We are in discussion with NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde to identify the best place to deliver the Family Nurse Partnership programme. Alison Johnstone (Lothian) (Scottish Green Party): To ask the Scottish Executive what its position is on the World Health Organization report, Persistent Organic Pollutants: Impact on Child Health. (S4O-00263) Michael Matheson: The Scottish Government has noted this report, since its recommendations reinforce the existing health policies and initiatives being taken forward already across the Scottish Government and its agencies. Neil Bibby (West Scotland) (Scottish Labour): To ask the Scottish Executive what its position is on the role, value and potential of sport in Scottish society. (S4O-00264) Shona Robison: Sport has a significant contribution and can deliver a far reaching impact on our nation, economy, culture, international standing and reputation. This and helping to prolong life, improve physical strength and protect mental wellbeing is why this government is committed to maximising the benefits that can be delivered through sport.
    [Show full text]
  • Foi-18-00465
    ANNEX ANNEX Case Number Summary of Case Decision Exemption/Exception applied FoI/16/01789 Correspondence including emails in relation to The Partial 30(b)(i);30(b)(ii);38(1)(b); Council Tax Reduction (Scotland) Amendment (No. 2) Release Regulations 2016 since 18 October 2016. FoI/16/01829 To provide written information on the development of Partial camping management byelaws by loch Lomond and Release The Trossachs National Park or Scottish Ministers FoI/16/01842 Request for access to a file HH51/460 Refuse 31(1); FoI/16/01845 Details of contracts Scottish Government has with Partial 17;25;33(1)(b);38(1)(b); Warmworks Scotland & Energy Saving Trust Release FoI/16/01866 No of claims received in the last 3 years for damage to Partial 17; cars arising from potholes on A75, A77 & A76. How Release many claims were approved and the annual amount of compensation paid, how many were rejected and how many are to be resolved FoI/16/01873 All communications held by TS relating to accidents, Partial R10(4)(a);R10(4)(d);R11( design, inspections, reviews, investigations or safety Release 2); concerns for the A825 between Creagan and Benderloch from January 2015 FoI/16/01874 Correspondence, minutes of meetings and other Partial 25;30(b)(i); communications between the Scottish Government Release and Transport Scotland and Network Rail, local authorities or SPT regarding (a) Glasgow Crossrail and (b) electrification of the East Kilbride line. FoI/16/01876 training in NRs surrounding civil registration Partial 17; Release FoI/16/01877 Information on setting in Scottish schools.
    [Show full text]
  • BUSINESS BULLETIN No. 226/2012 Tuesday 17 April 2012
    BUSINESS BULLETIN No. 226/2012 Tuesday 17 April 2012 Summary of Today’s Business Meetings of Committees 10.00 am Education and Culture Committee Committee Room 6 10.00 am Health and Sport Committee Committee Room 4 10.00 am Justice Committee Committee Room 1 10.00 am Welfare Reform Committee Committee Room 2 2.00 pm Equal Opportunities Committee Committee Room 4 2.00 pm Public Petitions Committee Committee Room 2 2.15 pm European and External Relations Committee Room 1 Committee 2.30 pm Subordinate Legislation Committee Committee Room 6 Other Meetings 11.00 am Scottish Commission for Public Audit Committee Room 3 For full details of today’s business, see Section A. For full details of the future business, see sections B and C. ___________________________________________________________________ 1 Contents The sections which appear in today’s Business Bulletin are in bold Section A: Today’s Business - Meetings of Committees - Meeting of the Parliament Section B: Future Meetings of the Parliament Section C: Future Meetings of Committees Section D: Oral Questions - Questions selected for First Minister’s Question Time - Questions selected for response by Ministers and junior Scottish Ministers at Question Time Section E: Written Questions – new questions for written answer Section F: Motions and Amendments Section G: Bills - New Bills introduced - New amendments to Bills - Members’ Bills proposals Section H: New Documents – new documents laid before the Parliament and committee reports published Section I: Petitions – new public petitions Section J: Progress of Legislation – progress of Bills and subordinate legislation 2 Business Bulletin: Tuesday 17 April 2012 Section A – Today’s Business Meetings of Committees All meetings take place in the Scottish Parliament, unless otherwise specified.
    [Show full text]
  • Labour Party Adaptation to Multilevel Politics: Evidence from British General Election Manifestos Dr Lynn Bennie Politics and I
    Labour Party Adaptation to Multilevel Politics: Evidence from British General Election Manifestos Dr Lynn Bennie Politics and International Relations University of Aberdeen and Dr Alistair Clark Politics University of Newcastle Accepted for publication in British Politics, 30th May 2019 1 Labour Party Adaptation to Multilevel Politics: Evidence from British General Election Manifestos Abstract Some policy areas debated in British general elections are the responsibility of devolved institutions, not the UK parliament. Devolution means that state-wide parties produce different versions of their general election manifestos in the devolved territories. Deploying a multi-level party framework, this article examines intra-party variation in Labour’s manifesto content through an original study of British, Scottish and Welsh Labour party manifestos from 2001 to 2017. The analysis focuses on the content and structure of Labour’s general election manifestos across the UK. It examines the roles performed by these documents, revealing how the Labour party has responded to the challenges of devolution. The analysis highlights the variable speeds at which sub-state parties embrace autonomy. It finds that Welsh Labour is more inclined to diverge from the content of UK Labour manifestos than the Scottish party, suggesting Scottish Labour has been slow to understand the politics of national identity and reluctant to embrace opportunities created by devolution. The article has implications for three key literatures: approaches to manifesto analysis; the roles performed by party manifestos; and party adaptation in multi-level systems. Keywords UK Labour, party manifestos, multi-level politics, party adaptation, Scotland, Wales 2 Labour Party Adaptation to Multilevel Politics: Evidence from British General Election Manifestos Devolution means that distinct policy agendas exist in different parts of the UK, and many policies debated in UK general elections do not apply at the sub-state level.
    [Show full text]
  • [2020] CSIH 27 XA111/19 Lord President Lord Menzies Lord Brodie
    FIRST DIVISION, INNER HOUSE, COURT OF SESSION [2020] CSIH 27 XA111/19 Lord President Lord Menzies Lord Brodie OPINION OF THE COURT delivered by LORD CARLOWAY, the LORD PRESIDENT in the remit from the Sheriff Appeal Court in the cause STUART CAMPBELL Pursuer and Appellant against KEZIA DUGDALE Defender and Respondent ______________ Pursuer and Appellant: Sandison QC; Halliday Campbell WS Defender and Respondent: Dunlop QC; Bannatyne Kirkwood France & Co 27 May 2020 Introduction [1] The pursuer challenges the sheriff’s interlocutor of 17 April 2019, which assoilzies the defender in the pursuer’s action of defamation. The sheriff held that the defender’s article in the Daily Record newspaper was defamatory in that it contained an innuendo that the 2 pursuer was homophobic. However, he went on to determine that the defender had established the defence of fair comment. [2] The issues are, first, whether the statement in the article was a comment or an assertion of fact. Only if it were comment might the defence of fair comment apply. Secondly, if it was a comment, was there sufficient reference to facts which were true and upon which the comment could be based? Thirdly, was the comment fair? The pursuer also takes issue with the sheriff’s assessment of damages at £100. Background [3] The pursuer has operated a blog called Wings Over Scotland since 2011. He had a related Twitter account. The blog had around 200,000 to 300,000 views per month. The Twitter feed had 60,000 followers. The pursuer’s style can be rude, especially about unionist politicians, including the defender.
    [Show full text]
  • Official Report, Hutchesons’ Hospital Transfer and Corry to Speak
    Meeting of the Parliament Thursday 25 April 2019 Session 5 © Parliamentary copyright. Scottish Parliamentary Corporate Body Information on the Scottish Parliament’s copyright policy can be found on the website - www.parliament.scot or by contacting Public Information on 0131 348 5000 Thursday 25 April 2019 CONTENTS Col. GENERAL QUESTION TIME .................................................................................................................................. 1 Ferries Resilience Fund ................................................................................................................................ 1 Falkirk District Growth Deal .......................................................................................................................... 3 Air Traffic Incident (Kirkwall Airport) ............................................................................................................. 4 Endometriosis ............................................................................................................................................... 5 Hospital-acquired Infections ......................................................................................................................... 6 Northern Isles Ferries (Freight Capacity) ..................................................................................................... 8 FIRST MINISTER’S QUESTION TIME ................................................................................................................... 10 Education (Subject
    [Show full text]
  • Fact Sheet Msps Mps and Meps: Session 4 11 May 2012 Msps: Current Series
    The Scottish Parliament and Scottish Parliament I nfor mation C entre l ogo Scottish Parliament Fact sheet MSPs MPs and MEPs: Session 4 11 May 2012 MSPs: Current Series This Fact Sheet provides a list of current Members of the Scottish Parliament (MSPs), Members of Parliament (MPs) and Members of the European Parliament (MEPs) arranged alphabetically by the constituency or region that they represent. Abbreviations used: Scottish Parliament and European Parliament Con Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party Green Scottish Green Party Ind Independent Lab Scottish Labour Party LD Scottish Liberal Democrats NPA No Party Affiliation SNP Scottish National Party UK Parliament Con Conservative and Unionist Party Co-op Co-operative Party Lab Labour Party LD Liberal Democrats NPA No Party Affiliation SNP Scottish National Party Scottish Parliament and Westminster constituencies do not cover the same areas, although the names of the constituencies may be the same or similar. At the May 2005 general election, the number of Westminster constituencies was reduced from 72 to 59, which led to changes in constituency boundaries. Details of these changes can be found on the Boundary Commission’s website at www.statistics.gov.uk/geography/westminster Scottish Parliament Constituencies Constituency MSP Party Aberdeen Central Kevin Stewart SNP Aberdeen Donside Brian Adam SNP Aberdeen South and North Maureen Watt SNP Kincardine Aberdeenshire East Alex Salmond SNP Aberdeenshire West Dennis Robertson SNP Airdrie and Shotts Alex Neil SNP Almond Valley Angela
    [Show full text]
  • Meeting of the Parliament
    MEETING OF THE PARLIAMENT Wednesday 23 March 2016 Session 4 © Parliamentary copyright. Scottish Parliamentary Corporate Body Information on the Scottish Parliament’s copyright policy can be found on the website - www.scottish.parliament.uk or by contacting Public Information on 0131 348 5000 Wednesday 23 March 2016 CONTENTS Col. MOTION OF CONDOLENCE ................................................................................................................................. 1 Motion moved—[First Minister]. The First Minister (Nicola Sturgeon) ............................................................................................................. 1 Kezia Dugdale (Lothian) (Lab) ...................................................................................................................... 3 Ruth Davidson (Glasgow) (Con) ................................................................................................................... 4 Willie Rennie (Mid Scotland and Fife) (LD) .................................................................................................. 4 Alison Johnstone (Lothian) (Green).............................................................................................................. 5 WATER SAFETY ................................................................................................................................................. 7 Motion debated—[Alex Rowley]. Alex Rowley (Cowdenbeath) (Lab) ..............................................................................................................
    [Show full text]
  • Minutes: Cross-Party Group on Children and Young People
    Cross-Party Group on Children and Young People Tuesday 5th November 2019 17:30-19:15 Scottish Parliament, Committee Room 2 Brexit going forward – Concerns of the children and young people’s sector Chair: Iain Gray MSP Minutes Attendees: Iain Gray MSP Fulton MacGregor MSP Brian Whittle MSP Amy Adair Elaine Kerridge Kelly Munro Amy Walker Elaine Leith Laura Wright Amy Woodhouse Fiona Souter Lindsey Macleod Andrew Aldous Helen Forrest Louise Slorance Blake Brown Janet Morton Lynsey Martin Chris Ross Joan Mowat Maria Doyle Claire Benton Evans Kaiwei Liao Mary Ann Powell Craig Wilson Karina Padilla Malca Megan Burt CYP Kate Whiting Natasha Turner David MacKay Katie Souter Qiuling Dong Robert McGeachy Sara McFarlane Vaska Bodjaji Ruiqing Yu Sarah Paterson Zhen Wang Sam Harris Tracey McFall Leighton Anderson 1. Welcome from Chair Iain Gray MSP, convenor of the CPG, welcomed attendees to the first CPG on Children and Young People meeting of 2019-20. He mentioned that this is an exciting time for the CPG as it is the first meeting with the new young co-convenors and that the group will also be looking to be a bit more innovative by trialling a range of new developments including meeting outside of the Scottish Parliament. He confirmed that this meeting would focus on Brexit in the context of the recently published Withdrawal Bill. The meeting had been due to take place after the expected exit date from the European Union before an extension was granted. The meeting will also be a chance to set up an agreed range of aims and outcomes for the CPG going forward.
    [Show full text]
  • FABIAN REVIEW the Quarterly Magazine of the Fabian Society Spring 2015 / Fabians.Org.Uk / £4.95
    FABIAN REVIEW The quarterly magazine of the Fabian Society Spring 2015 / fabians.org.uk / £4.95 TIME to CHANGE Politics is reinventing itself. The Fabian Review election special investigates how Labour can respond. With Georgia Gould, Peter Hain, Seema Malhotra, Marcus Roberts and more p8 Stephen Bush interviews Labour’s deputy leader Harriet Harman p22 10 things the Fabians have learnt this parliament p27 HAVE TEA WITH SHAW, WEBB AND WELLS… Ask a friend to join the Fabian Society today, and receive an exclusive Fabian “Six Socialists” mug! Drawn by H.G Wells, the “Six Socialists” depicts Fabians Bernard Shaw, Sidney Webb and H.G Wells, together with Keir Hardie, John Burns and Henry Hyndman. THREE GREAT REASONS WHY YOUR FRIEND WILL LOVE BEING A FABIAN: 1. They’ll receive at least four agenda-setting Fabian pamphlets each year, along with the Fabian Review every quarter 2. They’ll get priority entry to all of the Fabian Society’s events 3. They’ll be supporting our research and influencing the debates that will define the future of the left To claim your free “Six Socialists” mug, please email [email protected] with name of your friend who has successfully joined the Fabians FOR MORE INFORMATION visit www.fabians.org.uk/members/join/ or call 020 7227 4904 Contents FABIAN REVIEW Volume 126—No. 1 Leader Andrew Harrop 2 The inequality election Shortcuts Fran O’Leary 3 Digital alchemy Seema Malhotra 3 Keys to the kingdom Nita Clarke 4 Growing together Geoffrey Bindman 5 A more diverse judiciary Suzy Stride 6 Finding the frontline
    [Show full text]
  • Annual Review 2014
    ANNUAL REVIEW 2014 Choice | Diversity | Excellence www.scis.org.uk Company limited by guarantee, registered in Scotland no 125368. Scottish Charity No SC018033 SCIS Governing Board 2014 CHAIRMAN Prof. Anton Colella BOARD MEMBERS Jennifer Alexander Business Director, George Heriot’s School, Edinburgh * Wendy Bellars Head, Queen Victoria School, Dunblane** John Broadfoot Governor, Merchiston School, Edinburgh* Gavin Calder Headmaster, The Edinburgh Academy Junior School Mike Carslaw Headmaster, St Leonards School, St Andrews* Gareth Edwards Principal, George Watson’s College, Edinburgh ** Anne Everest Head, St George’s School for Girls, Edinburgh* Richard Harvey Head, Ardvreck School, Crieff ^ Richard Hellewell Chief Executive, The Royal Blind School, Edinburgh Elizabeth Lister Governor, Strathallan School, Forgandenny Janice MacNeill Principal & Chief Executive, Donaldson's School, Linlithgow ^** Tom McGhee Director, Spark of Genius, Paisley** Colin Mair Rector, The High School of Glasgow ^ Jonathan Molloy Bursar, Erskine Stewart’s Melville Schools, Edinburgh Simon Mills Head of College, Robert Gordon’s College, Aberdeen Armorel Robinson Bursar, Craigclowan Preparatory School, Perth Gillian Stobo Principal, Craigholme School, Glasgow** Kathleen Sweeney Bursar, St Aloysius’ College, Glasgow Richard Toley Head, Lathallan School, Angus Justin Wilkes Bursar, Dollar Academy, Clackmannanshire Prof. Brian Williams Chair of Governors, Hutchesons’ Grammar School Gordon Woods Warden, Glenalmond College, Perth** Jeremy Chittleburgh Hon Treasurer SCIS and Treasurer, St George’s School, Edinburgh** Guy Cartwright Hon Treasurer SCIS and Bursar, The Edinburgh Academy, Edinburgh* * Denotes those appointed at the SCIS AGM in April 2014. ** Denotes those retired at, or prior to, the SCIS AGM in April 2014. ^ Denotes co-opted member. SCIS STAFF Director John Edward CPD coordinator Nicola Dudley Communications and marketing Alison Herbert Policy and liaison Laura Forster (until 9.
    [Show full text]
  • No. 47, September 2018
    1 No. 47, September 2018 Editors: L. Görke – Prof. Dr. K. P. Müller – R. Walker Scottish Studies Newsletter 47, September 2018 2 Table of Contents Scottish Studies Newsletter 47, Sept 2018 Editorial 3 Scotland and the Turmoil of Brexit - A. L. Kennedy, "A toxic culture" 6 - Iain MacWhirter, "How to win Indyref 2? Keep it simple" 8 - "Sir Ivan Rogers' letter to staff in full" 11 Exchange students' reports - Josip Brekalo / Marco Giovanazzi, 14 "People make Glasgow" - A report from the perspective of two exchange students - Simona Hildebrand, "Fuireach anns an Dùn Eideann – Living in Edinburgh" 15 - Marsida Toska, "Edinburgh, my Love!" 16 - Jessica Völkel, "Autumn in Edinburgh" 18 Britain after the Brexit Decision Klaus Peter Müller, "The State of Britain 2018 - 2021: All Out War and Overall Bankruptcy" 19 Common Weal, "Scottish National Investment Bank Success" 41 New Scottish Poetry: Peter McCarey 43 Ian McGhee (Secretary, The John Galt Society), John Galt – Observer and Recorder 43 Stewart Whyte, Swithering Whytes or What to do with a troublesome cat? 47 (New) Media on Scotland 49 Education Scotland 104 Scottish Award Winners 114 New Publications March 2016 – February 2018 114 Book Reviews Peter Auger on Barbour's 'Bruce' and its Cultural Contexts 135 Chelsea Hartlen on Women and Violent Crime in Enlightenment Scotland 137 Richie McCaffery on Scotland in Europe / Europe in Scotland: … 139 James M. Morris on Facts and Inventions: Selections from the Journalism of J. Boswell 140 Klaus Peter Müller on Sir Walter Scott. A Life in Story 142 Carla Sassi on Opium and Empire: The Lives and Careers of W.
    [Show full text]