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WHY LOVE HURTS: A SOCIOLOGICAL EXPLANATION
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Eva Illouz| 304 pages | 23 Sep 2013 | PolityPress | 9780745671079 | English| Oxford, United Kingdom

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation PDF Book

About Eva Illouz. Nowadays, we shyawayfromassigningblame inothers because it would cause us to appear judgemental, but infact, this separationofethics and the realmofdatingand relationships is what's harmful. Allthis is interspersed withcursoryinterruptions fromthe heavy hitters insociology, criticaltheory, gender studies and psychoanalysis:fromDurkheimand Marxto Firestone and Freud. Art, Lit and Film. With friends we spend a great dealoftime reflectingonrelationships, agonisingover mistakes and hopingnew relationships willavoid past errors. There is also no talk about homosexualrelationships inthe book meaninga good chunk societyis left out, however what is covered is welldone and informative. A must read. Illouzwrites inthe epilogue about how she isn't suggestingthat love hurts more now thanbefore, or that it was better before, just that it was different. Nov27, Colleenrated it reallyliked it. Jul04, Dr. It's anongoingproject. Refreshand tryagain. The intersection ofthe socialand the individualis the foundationofsociologicalstudy. Illouz's point seems to be that our sociologicalcontext and expectations shape how "love"feels and manifests itselfinour lives. Gender differences are partiallyshaped bysociety. OpenPreview See a Problem? She is Bezalel's first womanpresident. The data is westernupper class people, so don't go expectinganythingelse. Ambivalence is not intrinsic to the psyche but is a propertyofthe institutions that organize our lives. What do his neighbors and familysayabout him? These sources provide fertile ground fromwhichshe draws together and develops historical, sociological, psychologicaland culturalstudies perspectives to illustrate and advance her points. It willalso be ofgreat interest to students and scholars insociology, gender studies and the socialsciences and humanities generally. Think carefullybefore youventure alongthat road. Tentimes. Pre-Modernrelationship experience was tightlygoverned bya clear systemofsigns whichcodified and ritualised signs offeeling. Other editions. A significant characteristic oflate modernityis how it has incorporated and re-produced sexualdiversity. The psychologicalpersuasionhas transformed what was classified as a moralprobleminto a disease and may thus be understood as part and parcelofthe broader phenomenonofthe medicalizationofsociallife. Keep inmind the approachis overlycritical and takes a glass halfemptylook at modernlove as it's focused onthe 'hurts' side ofthings.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation Writer

She refers to manyworks ofclassicalliterture and philosphy, whichis anadditionalplus inmybook. Mutuallybeneficialbehavior and relationships withrealcommitment. This book illuminated what I alreadyknew to be true but had not previouslyconsidered:Modernlove the emotionis not a purelyemotionalexperience. It seems like a case ofconvergent evolutionto me. The samples fromwhichmenand womenchoose a partner, the modes ofevaluatingprospective partners, the veryimportance ofchoice and autonomyand what people imagine to be the spectrumoftheir choices:allthese aspects ofchoice have transformed the verycore ofthe will, how we want a partner, the sense ofworthbestowed by relationships, and the organizationofdesire. Ifyouhave the patience, you'llfind some pearls "Love is more thana culturalidea; it is a social foundationfor the self. It's strangelycomfortingto have confirmationthat the intuitive or instinctive feelings one feels in, or about, relationships - as wellas personalpreferences, are actuallychoices enabled byculturallydetermined value Hard slogfor a non-academic reader like me , but fascinatinginterrogationofthe cultural, economic structures or underpinnings behind 'modern' interpersonallove relationships, usingananalysis of relationships as delineated inpre-modernliterature as a reference point. Now what? Socio economic status boost. Get A Copy. To accept cookies, click continue. Excellentlyresearches and written. Wide poolofselection. Nov13, Patricia L. Apr 27, Chayongrated it reallyliked it. Plus side 2:Pleasant deconstructionofthe 'love yourself' and other psychoanalyticaladvice crap. ShowingAmbivalence is not intrinsic to the psyche but is a propertyofthe institutions that organize our lives. Sort order. This book is ambitious and it has flaws, but it is stillthe most critical, comprehensive, and insightfulpiece ofwork I have found onthe subject. Tobias ChristianFischer rated it reallyliked it. This canbe especially problematic for womenwho stillwant to marryand raise a familyespeciallyina societythat stilltells womenthat this is a signofsuccess who end up beingwithmenwho know theyhave a varietyofchoices to choose from. View 1 comment. Alreadyregistered or a current subscriber? Share ontwitter Share onfacebook Share onlinkedinShare onwhatsapp Share onmail. There are manyfine qualities to commend this book and it is highlyreadable; but there also some significant problems withthe underlyingargument and the waythat it is advanced. There is also no talk about homosexualrelationships inthe book meaninga good chunk societyis left out, however what is covered is welldone and informative. Register to continue Get a month's unlimited access to THE content online. May31, Monica rated it liked it. She concludes that, for allwe've gained, we've lost a lot as well. This scholarlywork takes a look at the inter workings ofbothmenand womeninrelationships inorder to formideas onwhat makes us difference,and how that winds up hurtingus inthe longrun. Do I reallywant to spend mylife withhim? Menhold the upper hand inthe romantic sphere. We alltoo easilylocate failed love lives inprivate histories. What's particularlyinterestingto me is how Illouz's conclusions lHere a sociologist and feminist deconstructs whyso manypeople are so obsessed withromantic love, and so depressed and insecure when disappointment ensues. Yet while menhave become commitment-phobic, self-centred and sex-seeking, and more womenhave careers, women stillseek intimacyand exclusivityinheterosexualromantic relationships. Would youlike to change to the site? Psychoanalysis and popular psychologyhave succeeded spectacularlyinconvincingus that individuals bear responsibilityfor the miseryoftheir romantic and erotic lives. OriginalTitle.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation Reviews

Youknow the saying:There's no time like the present His love gave mylife meaning. Would youlike to change to the site? Womenand menoften have contradictoryagendas and the searchfor love is becomingincreasinglyrationalized throughthe advent ofinternet dating. Ofcourse, this is also a market dynamic. This book took anentire 3 stages ofquarantine, it was annoyinglywordyand academic. Few ofus have beenspared the agonies ofintimate relationships. The book has strongemphasis onwomeninlarger cities, and is focused onthe middle and upper class. Jan18, EmilyJusufrated it it was amazingShelves:basically-me , required-reading, favorites , non-fiction. I meanI don't know the researchbut I'm guessingthat sociologists aren't keenonthe "menhave manyoptions"explanationofnon-committalrelations. Myhusband, who loved me dearly, died almost three years ago. Seenand loved for who theyare. Ifyouhave the patience, you'llfind some pearls "Love is more thana culturalidea; it is a socialfoundationfor the self. It could be suggested also that muchoftherapy, self-help, and coachingculture canbe reduced to cultural techniques to monitor choice and make decisions inanincreasinglyvolatile market ofpossibilities. Art, Lit and Film. The rules ofemotional engagement mayremainhighlystructured but the conditions withinwhichchoices are made have changed significantly. A professor ofsociologyat the Hebrew UniversityinJerusalem, Eva Illouzsays she came to the subject aged 21 throughaninterest inlove and its relationship to class, money, literacyand culture. She suggests that the individualnavigates their waythroughcomplexsocialstructures and institutions whichframe the rules around and culturalrituals oflove, drawingonthe resources whichtheyhave personallyaccumulated. Inother words, mengainmore social currencybyhavingmore sexualpartners for as longas possible whereas womengainsocialcurrencybycreatingfamilies. Find this book:. Inthat sense, one overarchingtheme ofher work canbe called So i'lljust put it here whenwe publishit.

Why Love Hurts: A Sociological ExplanationReadOnline

Jan11, Johanna rated it it was ok. Its observations and causalityare suspect. This means that the book willbe rather dry, and long-winded for those not lookingfor the academic approachto explainwhytheyget hurt inrelationships. The samples fromwhichmenand womenchoose a partner, the modes ofevaluatingprospective partners, the veryimportance ofchoice and autonomyand what people imagine to be the spectrumof their choices:allthese aspects ofchoice have transformed the verycore ofthe will, how we want a partner, the sense ofworthbestowed by relationships, and the organizationofdesire. Signinnow. It however is aninterestingread for those interested sociologicalfield, or those who want to widentheir academic knowledge. A significant characteristic oflate modernityis how it has incorporated and re-produced sexualdiversity. She concludes that, for allwe've gained, we've lost a lot as well. Withthe emergence ofsucha market comes a caveat; there is anenormous amount of roomfor personalchoice now. Illouzdoes a fantastic job ofcomparingthe ideas oflove and marriage inthe past to the modernideas we as a societyhave now towards the subjects. I loved it - first and foremost, how beautifullyit proves that youcanapproachless traditionalthemes inthe realmofscience and stilldo so everybit as seriouslyas whenmale academics discuss the more cold themes ofmigration, digitalization, class tensions, and whatnot. More filters. Ifa womanexpresses neediness, anxieties, desire for closeness, thenforget it, the manwilljust not be there. She refers to manyworks ofclassicallit A great book that shows changes inthe conceptualizationoflove - the wayit was portrayed and thus experienced inthe nineteenthcenturyand inpost modernity- althoughthe author doesn't use the termpostmodernity, onlymodernitywhichI find confusing. You'llneed to washit downwitha weekend innature. Her favourite pastimes are readinga good book aloud to her sons at the dinner table, readinga good book alone inher bedroomand talkingabout a good book withfriends, againat the dinner table. Illouzcontrasts the social structure ofJane AustenwithInternet forumtalk oftodayshe has a gift for zeroinginontellingonline snippets and a soft spot for the New York Times's ModernLove column. For those inher target audience, namelyheterosexualWesternwomen, Illouzhopes to offer a compellingaccount ofhow sufferinginlove has come to be internalized as personalfailure. Eva Illouz. Illouzdescribes her researchas beingheteronormative. Published June 5thbyPolityPress first published The pre-moderntimes were actuallyspot-oninassigningblame onthe partner who left or broke promises or behaved ina dishonorable manner. So whether inthe realmofproductionor that ofconsumption, emotions have beenactively mobilized, solicited and shaped byeconomic forces, thus makingmodernpeople simultaneouslyemotionaland economic actors. Her positioningof emotions as part ofsocialstructures is a timelyprovocationand makes a valuable contributionto, and indeed revitalises and reorients the sociology ofemotions. The keymessage inthis book:Findinglove inthe modernworld canfeellike a futile task. Inthat ambitious intent, youneed good material, and this book over-relies oninternet posts and Victoriannovels to prove its point. This interdisciplinarityserves to enlivenand enrichthe text but it does lend a sense ofsuperficialityto her argument. Inallofthese realms, psychologyestablished itselfas the ultimate authorityinmatters ofhumandistress byofferingtechniques to transformand overcome that distress. Illouzconcludes that modernstructures hurt womenmore than menand create incentives for mento hold back fromcommitment. Added to Your ShoppingCart. Apr 06, Amyrated it it was amazingShelves: sociology, non-fiction. Illouzweaves together a myriad ofsources, fromRegencyliterature, to the plethora ofsocialnetworkingsites onthe Internet and handbooks whichspeak to and generate dialogue onthe manycontemporaryforms and practices ofrelationships, to the original empiricalresearchwhichshe conducted onthe topic. Nov27, Colleenrated it reallyliked it. This modernwayoffindinga romantic partner may seemstraightforward, but there are drawbacks. There are psychologicalcounsellors, couple therapists, mediationspecialists. See alljobs. It was interestingto read so manyopinions onlove, because this book is based oninterviews, but I read it so slow

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  • House and Philosophy Takes an Engaging Look at Everyone’S Favorite Misanthropic Genius and His Team at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital

    House and Philosophy Takes an Engaging Look at Everyone’S Favorite Misanthropic Genius and His Team at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital

    PHILOSOPHY/POP CULTURE IRWIN Is being nice overrated? Are we really just selfi sh, base animals crawling HOUSE across Earth in a meaningless existence? Would reading less and watching more television be good for you? Is House a master of Eastern philosophy or just plain rude? Dr. Gregory House is arguably the most complex and challenging antihero in the history of television, but is there more to this self-important genius than AND gray matter and ego? This book takes a deeper look at House to reveal the PHILOSOPHY philosophical underpinnings of this popular medical drama and its cane-waving curmudgeon’s most outrageous behavior. What emerges is a remarkable character who is part Sherlock Holmes, part Socratic philosopher, part Nietzschean superman, part Taoist rhetorician, and not at all as screwed up as you might think. With everything from Aristotle to Zen, House and Philosophy takes an engaging look at everyone’s favorite misanthropic genius and his team at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital. EVERYBODY LIES EVERYBODY HENRY JACOBY teaches philosophy at East Carolina University. He has published articles on the philosophy of mind and contributed to South Park and Philosophy. He lives in Goldsboro, North Carolina, with his wife, Kathryn, and their two cats, Bunkai and Willow. WILLIAM IRWIN i s a p r ofe s s o r of p h il o s o p hy a t K i n g’s C o ll e g e, Pe n n sy l va n i a . He has coedited The Simpsons and Philosophy and edited Seinfeld and Philosophy, The Matrix and Philosophy, and Metallica and Philosophy.