Bayfest Gets 'Badass' with Kid Rock, Alabama and Others After

2 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••• LAGNIAPPE WEEKLY July 17, 2014 – July 23, 2014 | www.lagniappemobile.com

Ashley Trice BAY BRIEFS Co-publisher/Editor A conservation easement adds protection [email protected] to Dauphin Island’s diverse bird sanctuary. Rob Holbert Co-publisher/Managing Editor 6 [email protected] Steve Hall COMMENTARY Marketing/Sales Director Perhaps Mobile should seize on the [email protected] attactions it already has before creating Gabriel Tynes new ones. Assistant Managing Editor 12 [email protected] CUISINE Dale Liesch Reporter Clean out those Cool [email protected] Whip containers and Jason Johnson make yesterday’s Reporter 18 leftovers today’s [email protected] innovative meals. Alyson Stokes Web & Social Media Manager/Reporter [email protected]

Kevin Lee CONTENTS Associate Editor/Arts Editor [email protected] Andy MacDonald Cuisine Editor [email protected] BUSINESS Stephen Centanni Music Editor Fresh fare coming with change [email protected] of ownership at local Captain D’s J. Mark Bryant franchise and The Pillars, reincarnated. Sports Writer 22 [email protected] Daniel Anderson Chief Photographer COVER [email protected] Prichard Mayor Troy Laura Rasmussen Ephriam and others Art Director speak about the city’s www.laurarasmussen.com past, present and future 24 Brooke Wilder Advertising Sales Executive as Mobile’s beleaguered [email protected] neighbor to the north tries Leigh Wright to move forward. Advertising Sales Executive [email protected] Beth Williams Advertising Sales Executive [email protected] Jeff Winter ARTS Advertising Sales Executive Artifice finds the essence of life in [email protected] artistic pursuit and things that make it Melissa Schwarz Editorial Assistant 26 all worthwhile. [email protected] Contributors: Asia Frey • Brian Holbert MUSIC Jeff Poor • Ron Sivak As The Doobie Brothers Susan Larsson • Ken Robinson Chelsea Archey prepare for a show On the Cover: Mayor Troy Ephriam at The Wharf with By Daniel Anderson Peter Frampton, the LAGNIAPPE (USPS 20) is published weekly, 52 issues a year, Volume 12, Issue 22, every legendary band is Thursday by Something, Extra Publishing, Inc. Entered at the Mobile Post Office, 250 St. getting the tribute Joseph St, Mobile, AL, 36601. treatment from some of Periodicals postage paid at Mobile Post Office, 250 St Joseph St., Mobile, AL 36601 country music’s biggest and other locations. stars. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to P.O. Box 3003 Mobile, AL 36652. Editorial, advertising and production offices are 30 located at 1102A Dauphin St. Mobile, AL 36604. Mailing address is P.O. Box 3003 Mobile, AL 36652. Phone: 251.450.4466 Fax 251.450.4498. Email: ashley- FILM [email protected] or [email protected] Acting in “The Selfish Giant” is almost

LAGNIAPPE is printed at Walton Press, 402 too real for comfort and the effect is Mayfield Dr., Monroe, GA 30655. All letters sent to Lagniappe are considered to beautifully devastating. be intended for publication. 36 Member: Association of Alternative Newsweek- lies and Alternative Weeklies Network MEDIA All rights reserved. Something Extra Publishing, Inc. Nothing may be reprinted, photocopied or Alabama Media Reporter thinks the in any way reproduced without the expressed permission of the publishers. Speaker of the House should start Individuals may take one copy of the paper free of charge from area businesses, trying on stripes. racks or boxes. After that, papers are $3 per 37 issue. Removal of more than one copy from these points constitutes theft. Violators are subject to prosecution. SPORTS Help support Lagniappe Weekly by becoming a “Friend with Benefits.” Red snapper category adds spark to Scan this code for more info: 39 Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo. STYLE It’s the closest thing to royalty as Alabama ever gets as AJ McCarron 46 weds Katherine Webb in a swaggy Orange Beach ceremony. LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 3 GOING POSTAL Not really a fan of Hidden Agenda, per se ...

To the editor: of the wars we ever fought. Many are killed while undergoing a normal delivery! Hobby I really liked your “tongue on cheek” spoof Lobby wants no part of that and neither do I. of the geese problem at Langan Park (Hid- I like the truths and facts that Lagniappe den Agenda July 10, 2014). One comment gives its readers, especially in the Mobile however: in the top line of the second column, political arena, but you are dead wrong when you used the phrase “per say.” Which is a very you make fun of someones valid long-held reli- common misspelling of “per se.” gious beliefs, even if you disagree with them. Also shame on you for making unfair snide You also can’t take a stand against “Obam- “fun” of Hobby Lobby’s religious stance on not acare” then blast someone who has a legitimate paying for abortions and IUD devices. IUD’s issue with its compliance demands, then takes do not prevent egg fertilization as do birth legal steps to amend them. They could have control pills. They are supposed to prevent just reduced all employees’ work hours to implantation thus causing a type of miscarriage less than 30 per week as others did. Then they each monthly cycle and when failing to accom- wouldn’t have to give any insurance benefits at plish that objective can cause multiple serious all. They did not do this. They kept the workers complications for the mother and the embryo. and fought against the unfair policies instead. Just because some things are legal does not make them “right.” We in the USA have Joy Burge, aborted more babies causing their deaths than Long time Lagniappe reader albeit an the number of deaths of the lost soldiers in all unhappy one today

367 dogs rescued after dogfighting ring takedown BY ALYSON STOKES/REPORTER | [email protected]

n Alabama man recently pleaded Two violations reported in MPD guilty to organizing a dogfighting ring underage drinking operation and charging spectators admission to The Mobile Police Department’s Youth attend the gruesome matches, where Services Unit conducted an operation on July Aillegal gambling also took place. 12 to combat the sale of alcoholic beverages to According to the Federal Bureau of In- minors in the Mobile area, according to a July vestigation in a July 11 press release, Donnie 14 press release. Anderson, of Auburn, Ala., admitted in his plea Officials said 10 businesses were checked agreement to organizing and holding dogfights, with two shops receiving violations – the Shell mostly in the Auburn area, from 2009-2013. Service Station at 4786 Airport Blvd and the Anderson also admitted to charging entrance Circle K at 6900 Aiport Blvd – for selling fees between $100 and $150. He said dog own- alcohol to minors. ers and spectators would bet on the outcome of Recording no violations were: My Boys fights, where wagers on each fight could range Store at 750 Holcombe Ave., Fulton Grocery at from $20,000 to $200,000. 1288 Dauphin Island Parkway, Clark Exxon at The FBI said their Mobile Field Office re- 1600 Dauphin Island Parkway, Shell Service at ceived disturbing tips in 2011 about a possible 2000 Dauphin Island Parkway, ZTEC at 2206 high-stakes dogfighting and gambling ring Dauphin Island Parkway, D.I.P. Club Food based in Alabama that attracted participants MART at 817 Dauphin Island Parkway, Shell from several nearby states. As a result, the Service Station at 3660 Airport Blvd. and BP FBI opened an investigation in April 2011 that Circle K at 4659 Airport Blvd. eventually led to the takedown of Anderson’s operation. Arrest made in Cloverleaf homicide In August 2013, the investigation led to Mobile Police investigated a homicide after the indictment and arrest of 10 individuals on officers responded to the 1400 block of Clover- federal dogfighting and gambling charges. Nine leaf Circle South on Monday, July 14 at approxi- others have also pled guilty in the case thus far. mately 10:34 p.m., for a report of one shot. Law enforcement seized firearms, illegal According to officials, 19-year-old Selena Ed- drugs, drugs used to treat and train dogs and wards was found in the front yard of a residence more than $500,000 in cash in relation to the suffering from a single gunshot wound. The case. Mobile Fire-Rescue Department pronounced the The takedown also resulted in the rescue of victim dead at the scene. 367 dogs. The preliminary investigation identified the Furthermore, two FBI agents and a for- suspect as 24-year-old Raphiel Quinnie, who mer agent, in addition to an Auburn Police knew the victim. On July 15, Quinnie was ar- Department detective and the U.S. Attorney rested and charged with manslaughter in the case. and Assistant U.S. Attorney for the Middle The investigation is ongoing. MPD asks if you District of Alabama, were all recently have any further information related to this crime recognized with an award from the Humane please call 251-208-7211. Society for their actions that led to the rescue of the mistreated canines.

nited States District Judge Callie commissioner, was arrested last November after Granade sentenced former Mobile traveling to meet a girl he believed to be 15 County Commissioner Freeman Jockisch years old. to 10 years in federal prison July 15, After have multiple documented conversa- Uthe minimum sentence for his conviction on at- tions through the “Causal Encounters” section tempting to lure a child for unlawful sex, which of Craigslist, Jockish believed he spoke to the a jury unanimously found Jockish guilty of in “girl” via telephone but was actually speaking April. to a special agent of the FBI, who was working Before the sentencing hearing began, with local officers in Saraland. Jockisch’s health was questioned. He claimed Agents and officers then arranged a meeting he had fallen and struck his head before leaving at an apartment complex in Saraland, where the jail, but elected to proceed with the hearing Jockisch was arrested. despite being lightheaded. Defense attorney Jeff Deen said Jockisch “I’ve passed out three times in jail already, initially thought he was communicating with an and I woke up in a pool of blood,” Jockisch said adult because the personal ads on Craigslist are as he approached the bench. “That’s how they only for use by those over the age of 18, but the treat you.” jury ultimately found that defense wanting. He later complained of police brutality by the Assistant U.S. Attorney Maria Murphy, who Saraland Police Department, who arrested him prosecuted the case, said Jockisch induced the in 2013. situation when he made comments like “let’s Jerry Jockisch suggested his father never make love” and “let’s do it,” even after acknowl- entered the apartment he believed a 15-year-old edging the “girl’s” young age. girl to be in, but instead turned from the door At the time of sentencing, prosecutors said without knocking before being dragged in by Jockisch showed contempt for the court through- SPD officers. out the entire process of the trial, showed no A prosecutor later called those allegations remorse for his actions and blamed “everyone “completely unfounded.” except the illuminati.” “After giving him a concussion, (the Saraland Granade said the sentence of 120 months Police) interrogated him. That’s entrapment,” would be carried out at the closest federal prison Jerry Jockisch said. “This was not a fair trial with the capacity to meet Jockisch’s medical because all the evidence was not heard.” needs. She said access to a sex-offender treat- Jockisch’s son was referring to his father’s ment program would also be a factor in selecting medical conditions including a diagnosis of a prison. early onset dementia, which Granade did not Jockisch will be nearly 90 years old when he deem admissible during the trial. is eligible to be released from prison, but will During the course of the sentencing hearing, still be required to complete supervised proba- Jockish said more than once he was “impotent” tion and register as a sex offender. and “couldn’t make love to nobody.” He also He will also be unable to use a computer or had a long-time physician present to confirm any device with access to the Internet without those and other medical claims that were made. the supervision or his parole officer and will During his final statements, Jockish sug- not be able to own a firearm or possess any gested he was set up by political opponents and controlled substance. maintained that he had only traveled to Sara- Now that the sentence has officially been land to “minister” to what he believed to be a delivered, Jockisch has 14 days to submit an troubled young girl. appeal and can do so for both his conviction and “I could tell you things that could put some sentence. of these judges and congressmen in prison, but In an interview after the conviction in April, I’m not that kind of person,” he said. “It’d be Deen said he didn’t believe his client to be a better if you put a gun to my head and blew my predator and at the time said his client planed to brains out for what you’re doing to me.” appeal the court’s decision. Jockisch, who spent 11 years as a county

any gathered together to remember and celebrate the life of the late former U.S. Senator and war hero Admiral Jeremiah Denton, Jr. at MBattleship Memorial Park on July 15, which would have been Denton’s 90th birthday. The memorial celebration honored the life, service and achievements of Denton, a Mobile native, who died on March 28 in Virginia Beach Va. “Today we only have minutes to recog- nize years of achievements,” USS Alabama Battleship Memorial Park Commissioner and Retired Naval Captain Hal Pierce said as he opened the ceremony. Admiral Denton, who served the majority of his naval career as an aircraft carrier-based pilot, spent 7½ years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam before going on to serve in the U.S. Senate from 1981 to 1987. “It’s hard to come back to Mobile without getting pretty emotional,” Denton’s son Mi- chael Denton said. “Every family member is Photo courtesy of the Denton Family asked ‘how did he do it?’” After Denton’s A6 Intruder aircraft was The late former U.S. Senator and shot down during a mission over North Viet- nam, he was held captive for seven years and war hero Admiral Jeremiah Denton seven months in Hanoi, where he endured spent 7 1/2 years as a prisoner of repetitive and prolonged torture. war in Vietnam. For four of his seven years as a POW, Denton was held in solitary confinement, and two years were spent in the prison camp Senate in November 1981, where he served Alcatraz. until 1987. “He said Sister Josephine,” Michael Den- While in office, one of Denton’s most ton said, referring to one of Denton’s teachers notable achievements was the establishment at St. Mary’s Catholic School in Mobile when of “the Denton Program,” which allowed he convinced the entire class to play hooky; American military aircraft flying missions to however, instead of just scolding him, Sister third world countries to provide humanitar- Josephine “chose to encourage,” Michael ian aid. Denton said. Alvin Townley, author of “Defiant,” a “’You obviously are a leader,’ she said. book about 11 Vietnam POWs known as the ‘You couldn’t have done something so Alactraz Gang, which included Adm. Denton, outrageous to lead the class to play hooky,’” told a story about the summer of 1966. He Michael Denton said with tears in his eyes as gave a descriptive account of history when he recalled the story his father had told him American soldiers were forced to march in his last year of life. through the streets with their heads down. He “He chose to live up to it. To live up to said people were jeering and throwing things that potential. And he learned that potential in at them when all of a sudden, “came this this town. On these grounds. In these waters.” Alabama roar, that said ‘you are Americans, While held captive, Adm. Denton served keep your heads up!’” as a leader for other POWs. In a television in- “That was Jeremiah Denton,” Townley terview arranged by the North Vietnamese for said. “And all of those American heads that propaganda purposes, he blinked repeatedly were down, snapped back up.” in Morse code to spell the word “T-O-R-T-U- In addition to many other accolades, Adm. R-E.” His actions confirmed to the American Denton received the United States Navy’s government that POWs were being tortured. highest medal, the Navy Cross, for his cour- “I don’t know how anyone could survive age as a prisoner of war. under those conditions,” Admiral Denton’s Townley also recalled the first time he met brother Leo Denton said. “… He was obvi- Adm. Denton. ously born with gifts. He put God first in ev- “’I was a senator, but I’ll always be Ad- erything he did. That’s what got him through miral,’ [Denton] told me,” Townely said with prison camp.” a smile. “I think I was supposed to call him Adm. Denton retired from the Navy in Admiral.” 1977 and returned to settle down in Mobile, A funeral mass and interment for Adm. to enjoy his family, fishing and golfing; how- Denton will be held at Arlington National ever, his strong desire to serve the country Cemetery, with full military honors July 22. still lingered. Denton was elected to the U.S.

8 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 BAY BRIEFS BB Effectiveness of litter solutions in ADEM agreement unknown BY KELSEY DAVIS | ContrIButIng WrItEr

s Mayor Sandy Simpson wages his “war on litter,” some DRCR and was not constructed by of the early victories have been the strengthening of the the same company as the one used in city’s existing litter and stormwater ordinances, and a Waycross. settlement agreement with the Alabama Department of “We came to an agreement with the AEnvironmental Management over ongoing violations of the Ala- city a year or so ago with the former bama Water Pollution Control Act. administration that said they had to Measures are also being taken to cut down on trash in the put one in, but we did not stipulate streets, but the primary battleground appears to be in Mobile’s what type,” Claire Wilson, president of waterways. That is one of the reasons why the city is prepared DRCR said. to spend nearly half a million dollars on a new litter trap to be The device DRCR is currently installed on Dog River, a result of the agreement struck with proposing is the same model used in ADEM. Waycross, but twice the size. “It’s a big investment,” said Dianne Irby, the city’s executive “We just have so much water here,” director of planning and development. “And that’s not including Wilson said. “It rains so much and we the long-term maintenance in successive years. That’s installation. need something more substantial. This There’s a lot of preparation you have to do on the bank side to device is a beast. It’s incredibly well secure it.” made … it’s huge.” Part of that preparation involved the city having to purchase In addition to the half-million the personal property on Dog River that would serve as an ideal loca- city is looking to invest on a more tion for the new trap. effective litter trap, an approximate “We’ve been working over the last several months to be sure $200,000 budget is being set aside we were locating it at a place where it could not only trap a sig- for the purchase of one or more litter nificant amount of litter, but we also had good access to it to clean boats. Photo/Gabriel Tynes it out which meant we had to buy a piece of property,” Irby said. Because city planners are still in The city’s engineers collaborated with ADEM and Dog River the early stages of what sort of vessel The city’s only litter trap is a substandard structure on Eslava Creek Clearwater Revival (DRCR) to determine a location that would would best suit its needs, the definition that often sinks in flood water, rendering it useless. not encroach on wetlands or impact the navigability of the river. of a litter boat remains loose. As part While the property has already been purchased, the city is still of the consent decree the city recently pollution on Mobile waterways, agrees that one litter trap will not in the process of researching what type of litter trap would be signed with ADEM, the vessel need not be a certain make or solve the problem. most effective in that location. model, it just needs to prove successful. “Litter is not going to stop anytime soon and Mobile certainly One of the front-runners, a trap recommended by DRCR, is “There are a variety of boats,” Chief Assistant City Attorney cannot afford to buy and maintain enough litter traps to keep litter one made by Stormwater Systems, a company that has recently Flo Kessler said. “You can put out a guy in a kayak with a big out of Mobile’s many waterways,” Nykvist wrote in an email. “So experienced success cleaning the Satilla River in Waycross, Ga. bag or you can buy a really sophisticated contraption that reaches, litter that reaches the waterways in Mobile needs to be removed “I can say it’s been a total success for us,” Waycross Engineer- bags and then disposes. The question from ADEM’s perspective is on a regular basis to keep the waterways clean. How many people ing Department Manager Steve Pope wrote in a letter to Storm- not how much is the city going to spend but how effective is the (currently) work to remove trash from Mobile waterways? Zero.” water Systems in February. “Our litter trap has been in operation vessel going to be.” Numbers back Nkyvist’s claim that keeping Mobile beautiful since early April 2010, and to date we have emptied 349 cubic While the consent decree reached with ADEM is requiring is contingent on manpower. For example, the litter trap incorpo- yards of floating litter, and that is with 148.7 inches of rainfall. We the city to purchase these devices, the new stormwater ordinance rated in Waycross gathered nearly 87.25 cubic yards of litter per feel like we are intercepting and removing at least 99 percent of recently passed by the City Council will require the city to closely year. Between three major cleanups throughout April, May and floating litter from our canal system just before it would be enter- monitor litter removal efforts. June 2014, Mobile volunteers cleared nearly 50 cubic yards of ing the Satilla River…” “It’s going to be more proactive, not complaint driven,” Kes- litter, according to Keep Mobile Beautiful. So for all of its traps But what works for Waycross may not work for Mobile, sler said. “We’re going to know what the catch basins look like, and vessels and massive cleaning efforts, achieving a litter-free especially given the city’s reputation for heavy rainfall. Mobile we’re going to know how much litter we’re getting out of the Mobile will remain a difficult issue for city officials to solve. received nearly 100 more inches of rain than Waycross during streets, things like that. We’re going to know how much litter the “You think about a piece of litter, a cigarette, seems like a sim- the four years its trap has been in use, according to the National litter vessels collect, everything like that is just be more compre- ple thing to fix – you pick it up,” said George Talbot, the mayor’s Weather Service. hensive about the whole program.” spokesman. “But litter is really a complex thing to solve.” Meanwhile, heavy rainfall is said to cause the $36,000 litter Though the main objective of litter traps and boats is to collect Litter traps can be purchased, but require property for installa- trap Mobile installed on Eslava Creek in 2012 to fail. As La- floating debris within the waterways, people involved with the tion. Clean-ups can be arranged, but are sometimes called off be- gniappe reported in 2013, DESMI/AFTI, the New York-based war on litter have made it clear that one trap will not be an end-all cause of alligator or snake sightings. Ordinances can be mandated, company that made Mobile’s first trap, said they had not previ- solution to waterway pollution. but call for self-policing and enforcement. Litter vessels can be ously installed a trap in the South and did not expect such heavy “The Dog River watershed is huge,” Irby said. “A litter trap bought, but have to be emptied regularly. rainfall. on Dog River does not do the trick. But (the purchased property) “All of what (citizens) see is just the tip of the iceberg as far as Reportedly, the heavy rain made the river so high the water will be a good location to give us an indication of effectiveness of the clean up effort goes,” Irby explained. “It’s important and it’s went well above the trap, rendering it ineffective. a trap.” complex and if affects everybody slightly differently, but the city However, that first trap was purchased without the consent of Rob Nykvist, who maintains a blog chronicling widespread is serious about doing it right.”

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 9 BB BAY BRIEFS Fairhope extends contract with state senator’s company BY DALE LIESCH/REPORTER | [email protected]

he Fairhope City Council voted unanimously July 10 to new bids had originally recommended the council accept the worried about public perception of the deal. extend by one year its emergency debris removal and Crowder Gulf bid, but at a work session before the meeting, “(Legislators) have a right to make a living,” he said. “It’s disposal contract with a company owned by State Sen. the council was informed of the discount of keeping the current a part-time position. If they’re giving us a better price whether Trip Pittman. contract. they’re a senator or not shouldn’t matter.” TThe Pittman Tractor contract was extended, despite the city “I was told it was the same (price), but I guess mistakes hap- Negative public perception further comes from an emer- calling for more bids after Mayor Tim Kant said some council- pen,” Kant told the council. gency contract between Pittman Tractor and the city of Fairhope ors and the public complained about the contract being awarded Kant said the group had considered bids this time not only over the placement of protective boom after the 2010 BP oil to the local state senator. based on price, but also based on other factors. Kant said the spill, Kant said. The council decided to reject four new bids, which included bidding companies would have to show financial responsibility The issue grew when Pittman Tractor won a bid to provide one from Pittman Tractor, because the current contract costs to be able to complete the project. He added that the successful boom around the city and the Marriott Grand Hotel in Point less than the cheapest of the new bids. bidder would not have any legal judgments against it. Clear, using funds he presided over. An ethics complaint was “It’s $684,000 less than the new bids,” said Council Presi- “We have to have somebody who can do the job,” he said. filed against Pittman, saying his company shouldn’t have bid dent Jack Burrell. The contract is a requirement of the Federal Emergency for the job, not only because he’s a state senator, but because Of the new bids, DRC Emergency Services came in as the Management Agency and must be in place before a storm hits, he also had been chosen by Gov. Bob Riley to help oversee the cheapest at just less than $1.7 million, Crowder Gulf was the Kant said. The city would only be responsible for as much as emergency BP funds coming to Baldwin County. next highest at just less than $1.8 million, Unified Recovery 10 percent of the total cost of the contract, with FEMA and the Group came in at just over $1.8 million and Pittman Tractor was state paying the most, if not all of it, he said. In other business, the council awarded an engineering con- the highest at nearly $2 million. During the meeting, Burrell asked City Attorney Tut Wynne tract for traffic control upgrade to Neel-Schafer for work on five Using the same criteria, which includes the price of about if there was a conflict of interest with awarding the contract to intersections downtown. The work includes three intersections 108,000 cubic yards of debris cleared from Fairhope after Hur- Pittman. along Fairhope Avenue and two along Section Street, said Scott ricane Ivan, the current Pittman Tractor contract comes in at “The previous council approved it,” he said. “It seems like Sligh, electric superintendent. $1,089,200. there’s no reason it can’t be extended.” He said upgrades include new pedestrian crossing signals, The difference in the price of the current contract and the A section of Alabama code speaks to allowing members of mast light poles and controller upgrades. bid Pittman submitted is based on increases in fuel, labor and the legislature carry on with their own private business transac- The council also approved a project to upgrade the restroom equipment. He added that the current contract expires after this tions. Alabama Ethics Commission General Counsel Hugh facilities at the Fairhope Municipal Pier. Kant said the Public one-year extension, while the bid includes estimates of future Evans explained it further, in a letter attached to the most recent Works department would do most of the work associated with costs three years into the future. Pittman Tractor bid. the $25,000 project. The project would be for renovations to the “I did the bid with the idea we would get it and it would have “As long as the requirements are met, you have the same restrooms and would make them wheelchair accessible. enough money in the contract for future costs,” he said. opportunity as all other similarly situated businesses,” Evans The council had a lengthy discussion during the work ses- Pittman said he reluctantly agreed to the contract extension, wrote to Pittman. “The obvious qualifiers are that you cannot sion about whether or not to add $10,000 to the project budget even though it was nearly $1 million less than his new bid. use your influence as a member of the Senate to obtain special for air conditioning, before ultimately deciding not to spend the He said he would at least break even on the deal, if a storm of favor. You cannot have access to confidential information extra money. that size were to hit the area and the contract would need to be regarding the bid, etc.” The council also agreed to pay retirees a total of $48,000 in exercised. Evans wrote that a copy of the contract must be filed with the lump-sum payments, in accordance with a bill passed by the “Let’s hope there’s not a storm,” Pittman said. “Based on the office. Alabama legislature as a cost-of-living raise. The city will pay existing contract, we’ll make very little if any profit.” Kant said he doesn’t see a problem with extending the Pit- the money to Retirement Services of Alabama during the 2015- Kant and a group of three department heads who judged the tman Tractor contract for another year, but admitted he was 2016 budget cycle.

Easement adds extra protection to island’s bird sanctuaries BY JASON JOHNSON/REPORTER | [email protected]

fter a costly process spanning nearly three years, the The restrictions of the easement include limits on the ap- logical Society and the Weeks Bay Foundation. Dauphin Island Park and Beach Board has secured the proved uses of the property and on the number, type and loca- “Those groups were proud sponsors of this project,” Capps protection of more than 160 acres of public parklands tion of any dwellings or other buildings. said. “Together we raised somewhere around $15,000 to finalize through a conservation easement. The easement also prohibits quarrying and excavation of the project.” AA partnership with the Atlantic Coast and Pelican Coast minerals, prohibits dumping of solid and liquid waste, limits That was still only a small portion of the funding for the conservancies, the easement will ensure Cadillac Square, the the removal of trees without an approved management plan and easement, which cost nearly $60,000 in total. The rest of funds Dauphin Island Campground and the 155-acre Audubon Sanctu- restricts or eliminates industrial and commercial activities. came straight from the pockets of the DIPBB. ary will remain in their natural states for decades to come. Capps said there is a tiered set of standards specific to each For the first time, the bird sanctuary is also operating with a “Our parklands are now perpetually protected through this property, which allows some development – bathhouses and strategic management plan – something Capps and other board conservation easement, and Dauphin Island will have en- other facilities – on the camping and beach locations. The most members realized was important after a wildfire occurred on the hanced land, water, and wildlife conservation on the Island for stringent standards will be enforced at the Audubon Sanctuary Island in 2011. future generations,” said Matthew Capps, executive director of itself. “That was very eye-opening for us. We didn’t have a man- DIPBB. “If you look, there’s been no physical change to the Over the years, Dauphin Island has become a significant agement plan at the time that showed us how we could address land, but this gives us a double layer of protection and a guide- destination for birders wanting to observe a multitude of species wildfires,” Capps said. “Now we have a plan to do controlled line for how we’re going to do things going forward.” during the spring migration period. burns and other things to prevent another situation like that.” A conservation easement is a legally binding contract In a recent press release, Walter Ernest, director of opera- The development of the current management plan was made between a landowner and a land conservancy in which the land- tions for the PCC, called the Audubon sanctuary a “globally possible through a federal grant from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife owner agrees to permanently protect specific uses of the land important birding area.” Seasonally, the area supports more than Service. Other grant funds are also helping to construct new while still retaining ownership and control. In accepting the 250 species of Neotropical migratory birds. signs and boardwalks and make other improvements to the areas easement, both the Atlantic Coast and Pelican Coast conservan- “Cadillac Square is a fantastic park and the oak trees there affected by the recent easement. cies are obligated to ensure the provisions of the easement are are very historic in nature,” Capps said. “We also feel like that’s “We’re a nonprofit so we didn’t work directly with town on upheld. another premiere birding spot.” this, but it does meet some of their goals and objectives to pre- The DIPBB has owned all three properties since it was estab- Working with local birding organizations and traveling bird- serve properties on the island,” Capps said “They’re still work- lished in the 1950s, but wanted to take an extra step to ensure ers from across the country was crucial in the beginning stages ing on a shoreline restoration project but the easement doesn’t the properties remain “forever wild.” of the easement plan, and Capps said their input was helpful hinder that. When that’s finished we’ll be able to have a brand “It puts some restrictions on we can and can’t do on the throughout the entire development process. new beach in front of sanctuary and the campground.” properties,” Capps said. “One obvious thing is we don’t want Other organizations involved in the easement include The More information on the project is available at dauphin- someone to come in and bulldoze the bird sanctuary to put up Gulf Coast Bird Observatory, Dauphin Island Bird Sanctuaries, island.org/conservation. some condos.” Inc, The Mobile Bay Audubon Society, The Alabama Ornitho-

10 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 BAY BRIEFS BB County changes soccer site agreement BY JASON JOHNSON/REPORTER | [email protected]

ast week the Mobile County Commission voted to been approved by all of the lawyers representing the various “The funding to actually buy (the property) is pretty change the parameters of an option agreement related parties. much there, but we don’t know a specific dollar amount for to the purchase of 116 acres at the northeast corner of Now that the purchasing option is secured, Commis- what it will cost to develop it,” he said. “I’m told it could Interstate 65 at Interstate 10 – an area that could serve sion President Connie Hudson said engineers would soon take nine to 12 months get the figures and environmental Las a county-owned soccer and sports complex in future. begin working to determine the environmental effects and concerns settled, but it could be longer. That’s why we built Attorney Jay Ross said a group of approximately 13 the “true budget figures” of developing the 11-pitch soccer in more time in.” property owners could not come together to finalize an complex. When that information is nailed down, Ross said the agreement the commission opted to pursue in May. Real estate agencies White-Spunner and Berg and Com- commission would “presumptively” buy the property, “We believed we had an agreement with all the parties, pany currently own the property, and have previously agreed “provided they are comfortable with the price to develop the but when it came down to signing the contracts, all of the to donate nearly 80 acres to the county. The majority of complex.” perspective owners would not unanimously consent to buy- donated area, which will be a tax write-off for agencies, is Over the past few months, the price of development has ing the property back,” Ross said. connected to the Wragg Swamp and is considered wetlands caused some tension between Hudson and Commissioner If the county had purchased the $2.96 million property, – making environmental preservation a concern. Jerry Carl, who submitted his own plan to build a soccer the pervious agreement would have required the current Both Hudson and Ross have stated previously that the complex in south Mobile County earlier in the year. landowners to buy it back at the purchase price if the county wetlands would not be developed in anyway. Carl has repeatedly said the current plan, which was had not developed it after five years. The option would have The commission has already agreed to an $18,000 engi- proposed by Hudson, would cost $20 million to develop – a also secured the property for up to a year through a refund- neering contract with Neel-Schafer Inc. to develop a master figure he is basing off of a study performed by Hargrove able payment of $10,000. plan and make a budget for the project. John Murphy, a for- Engineers. He has also maintained his original plan would The new agreement still secures the property for a year, mer assistant engineer for the county, is leading that project. have cost only $5 million. but only for an initial cost of $6,000. After that, the county An additional $70,000 has also been allocated to prepare However, Hudson has consistently disputed both of those will have option to purchase up to three four-month options the property for the sale and to perform environmental figures. In March, Hudson estimated her project would only for $10,000 a piece. It also gives the original property services on the site. cost $12.1 million. owners the “option to buy the property back at fair market “We should know within a year where we’re going to “The study by Hargrove was very broad-based and value” but does not require them to. stand as far getting permits,” Hudson said. “We believe two wasn’t able to come up with a number this commission “If the county elects to buy the property, that $36,000 can years is certainly ample time to (make a decision).” can use as a baseline to decide whether or not they wish to be use against purchase price, but if not, that money would Ross said permits from the Alabama Department of purchase (the property),” Ross said. “We’ve also got people be lost,” Ross said. “That had to be changed otherwise we Transportation and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers would looking now for additional funding sources such as new would not have had an agreement, but the purchase price be required to proceed with the development of the property. market tax credits, bonds, and grants and the federal, state does not change.” He also said the environmental concerns and making and local level.” The lack of a refund for the purchasing option is one sure adequate funding is available have made the two-year Ross said more would be known about those additional of the main changes, but Ross said the new agreement has purchasing window appealing to the county. funding sources in the coming months.

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 11 Damn the torpeD oes CommentarY C Easy ideas for making Mobile more attractive to visitors

BY ROB HOLBERT/MANAGING EDITOR | [email protected]

aking a queasy ride to the airport in hard to blame him at this point. He truly jeopardizing what could be a huge winner Nashville last week after a newspaper doesn’t get much of his music played here. for the area. convention that offered way too much We’ll hand the keys to the city to anyone It could be our “Big Fred” without the fun in a city with far too many great mu- from Auburn or Alabama who makes three Fred. Msical options for a guy who had to get up way too tackles in one game, but we can’t get it Imagine such a light show happening on early, I got the kind of perspective you really have together to honor an entertainer known Jimmy Buffett Causeway, and there’s no to get out of town to acquire. worldwide. doubt the fun and energy generated would In particular I was struck by how it only took 10 It may also have escaped city leaders that benefit not only the restaurants along the minutes to get from downtown to the airport. Nice. Buffett has business ventures both to the causeway, but the battleship itself and the Even if Bear Bryant was rising from the dead in east and west of Mobile, but not in the city. downtown just a mile or two away. We’d be the middle of the Iron Bowl and had every citizen I’m not saying he doesn’t feel welcome, but fools to let this ship sail. glued to the tube you still couldn’t make it from maybe he doesn’t. A couple of other fun ideas come to downtown to Mobile’s airport in anything like that Anyone can see honoring Buffett in such mind. The first is why not rename some kind of time. a significant fashion might turn on the wel- of the streets inside the Hank Aaron Loop I suppose that perspective – that our airport come light to his millions of fans. Maybe after Mobile’s hall of fame baseball stars. really isn’t in the right place – is probably pretty he’d even come out and perform a concert We proudly claim more HOFers than just worthless because it’s not moving. But still it on the lawn at Battleship Park. But let’s not about any city. Honoring them by renaming often is nice to get out of town to see how it works get ahead of ourselves. Yes this idea would a cross streets could possibly make things a elsewhere. require some coordination between Span- big more fun for baseball buffs interested in That’s probably the experience the gaggle of ish Fort, Mobile and the state, but it’s not our history on the diamond. business negotiators who headed over to England complicated. Another thing hard for me to understand for the Farnborough Air Show last week are hav- Speaking of the battleship, we currently is why we’ve allowed our Azalea City ing. The experience probably has some thinking have a world-renowned artist clamoring to moniker to be traded for Port City. Yes, yes, our traffic problems would disappear if we started work his magic on the USS Alabama, with we want business. That’s clear. But a city driving on the left side of the road while eating fish a light show that would definitely be more carrying images of beautiful flowers versus and chips. Others may even be getting really big eye-catching, memorable and dare I say hip hulking ships and cranes certainly seems ideas. than anything we’ve seen here before. Xavi- more likely to attract the elusive tourists. I know our resident big idea guy, City Council- er de Richemont wants to turn our coolest Revitalize the Azalea Trail. Plant more of man Fred “MoonPie” Richardson, has posted on landmark into a jaw-dropping kaleidoscope our signature flowers until we’re up to our his Facebook page about Mobile’s need to attract of visual art that would be memorable to armpits in pollen during spring. And take or build something that makes a statement. He held anyone passing through. back our nickname while we’re at it. Plenty up London’s famed clock tower “Big Ben” as an He’s just turned the San Fernando Ca- of cities have two nicknames, so use them example of something that would draw tourists. thedral in San Antonio into his canvas for a both. So maybe he can use his discretionary funds to stunning display that will last for a decade, But if we can’t manage any of that, start on “Big Fred” sometime soon instead of burn- transforming the beautiful cathedral into an perhaps we can put a clock on the empty ing the money on his next international junket or event every night. He’s ready to do the same cruise ship terminal and wait for the money cleaning ditches. here, but so far it hasn’t come together, to roll in. Despite the silliness of the things he says, Richardson does have a good point buried under the clown shoes and confetti. Mobile needs more draws to differentiate us from the other mid-sized The Gadfly cities all fighting for those almighty tourist dollars, or even just to make us memorable as they whiz by on I-10. Those who come back from the Farnborough junket may be bursting with ideas about bringing this or that to our city to make it hip, cool and ready to grab the still-new millennium by the scruff of the neck and tell it Mobile has arrived. But before we start commissioning giant arches, huge clocks or a 50-foot statue of Dale Earnhardt, it’d be best to take stock of what we already have ready to be harnessed. One place I’ve long thought we’re missing the pirate boat is in honoring the biggest entertainer who’s ever come from Mobile — Killer Beaz. No, wait, I mean Jimmy Buffett! That’s the guy. By any measure Buffett is the most successful entertainer/businessman to ever call the Azalea City home. But if you were John Q. Parrothead tourist you’d never know it. In fact almost nobody thinks of Mobile when they think of Jimmy. Key West grabbed that and they get the tourists who travel there just to walk a block in Jimmy’s flip- flops. Jimmy’s fan base is huge and rabid. I firmly believe if they had a chance to hop off I-10 and drive down The Jimmy Buffett Causeway, many would. A little bit of signage would be the biggest cost I can think of, and suddenly maybe more people come through the Bankhead Tunnel each day. On top of everything else the guy really ought

to be honored by his hometown for once. There Cartoon/Laura rasmussen appears to have been a rather cool relationship Freeman Jockisch’s pre-sentencing revealing of between Mobile and Buffett over the years, but it’s local secrets rolls into its third hour

12 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 C HIDDEN AGENDA COMMENTARY This is why we can’t have nice things BY ASHLEY TRICE/EDITOR | [email protected]

Photo/www.bbc.com Flight demonstrations and business deals are the centerpiece of the annual Farnborough International Airshow near London. get grumpy when it gets this hot. I think my right now it’s unusable. irritation goes up with the relative humidity. I We have no money for any of these things was going to take it out on my friends, family, but we can travel the globe at will? These travel co-workers, small children and animals, but budgets add up. What could we have accom- Ithey don’t deserve that, now do they? So I’m plished at home with this money over the years? going to take it out on you. Could one park have been cleaned up – even just Yep, I’m going to wring out all of my frustra- a little? Or at the very least mowed? Could one tion into some ink and throw it onto this page sign have been repaired? Or one little stretch of for you to digest. Warning: it will most definitely these hideous roads resurfaced? cause heartburn. But I do thank you in advance Are these suppliers all twenty-something for your help in this matter. Better grab some of you are courting going to want to come to a Pepcid though. place where we can’t even provide them with a decent infrastructure for their trucks to transport The entire state of Alabama goes to their goods? Or with quality of life services their the Farnborough Air Show employees desire? Look, I know we need SOME of our leaders This is why we can’t have nice things, people. representing our city and state at the Farnbor- Again, I know some travel is needed, but ough Air Show. Of course, we do. But did we all we are asking as constituents is for it to be really need over 20 from Mobile and Baldwin done efficiently and strategically. One or two alone? And 90 from the state? representatives from each body should certainly Perhaps we did. I’m not sure. But at first be enough. Rotate it. Be open and upfront about blush, it seems a bit excessive. It would be inter- how it’s organized and planned and let us know esting to hear what each person on the trip’s role why the benefits justify the cost for each trip. was and what was individually accomplished. Do those simple things for us and we’ll say, I’m sure it was worth every one of our pennies “Bon Voyage.” for some of these folks to be over there, but if our tax money just paid for the rest of these guys Back off BayFest and gals to see Big Ben and Parliament on our BayFest announced its lineup last Friday, dime, while all they did is shake some dude’s and I thought it was one of the best and most hand at a wine and cheese (or fish and chips?) diverse ones they have ever had – a perfect way reception for five seconds and say “we sure hope for the festival to celebrate its 20th anniversary. you’ll come to Mobile, y’all,” I really don’t see With Alabama, Kid Rock, Stone Temple Pilots, the value in that. Ludacris, Earth, Wind and Fire, Amos Lee, Ceelo I’m not saying that’s what happened. I’m saying Green, Trombone Shorty and many more set to I don’t know what happened over there, but I would hit the streets of downtown Oct. 3-5, they are like to. And I’d also like to know who makes the catering to many different tastes this year. decision on who will be part of this delegation. Is it But still, some people took to social media to anyone who just says, “Oh I’m going”? Or is there say how horrible they thought the lineup was. I a reasonable human being who can say, “Well, we know everyone would like to program their own already have two members of the council represent- personal music festival. I sure would, but if I did, ing us, a third would probably be a waste of our only about 50 people would show up. sweet, precious constituents’ tax money” OR “We Everyone’s musical preferences are so differ- already have one commissioner representing us. Do ent, there is no way BayFest can please everyone we really need two out of the three there?” for the whole weekend. The ticket prices are still Does anyone have the authority to say that? very reasonable for a three-day event, especially Is there any “I’m going to this one, you can go compared to other festivals. The weather is usu- the next one” kind of planning going on among ally absolutely glorious and if you just can’t find these bodies? Or is just a free for all that cer- a band you like during a certain block, the people tainly ain’t free? watching is almost just as fabulous. Our roads are completely awful in Mobile. I love just walking around downtown with the At least one councilperson complains about kids listening to a few songs on one stage and then ditches all the time. We have an empty cruise heading over to another to catch a few tunes at an- terminal and a maritime museum that still other, even if it’s not my favorite band. It’s a good hasn’t opened (although I think it’s finally event for our city. Quit your whining and support getting closer). Our employees can’t get raises. it. Grrrrr. The park in my neighborhood is so overgrown OK, I feel better now. Anybody want ice cream?

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 13 C BELTWAY BEAT COMMENTARY Don’t take possible Obama impeachment off the table BY JEFF POOR/COLUMNIST | [email protected]

ast month, House Speaker John Boehner announced ered talk of impeachment as a radical measure, one that serves he would be taking President Obama to court over the to interfere with the primary goal of maintaining control of Obama administration’s alleged executive overreaches, power. specifically with regard to the Affordable Care Act. The threat of impeachment against the executive branch, LWhile the issues within the lawsuit might appear esoteric thus, has been somewhat neutered. to casual observer, it could have implications on other policy Despite the current, relatively radical connotations of im- matters where the Obama administration has selectively fol- peachment, Alexander Hamilton recognized the need for such lowed the letter of the law. a process in a democracy. In the “Federalist Papers,” Hamilton A lawsuit as a tactic to check executive power, however, wrote about it as a means to keep in check abuses and viola- was likely not what our Founding Fathers had intended. tions of “public trust.” He wrote that it should be Congress, There are a number of ways the Congress and even one not the judiciary, which conducts this process. chamber of the Congress can check executive power in our Fast-forward to 2014, where you have an Obama adminis- democracy with three co-equal branches. Traditionally, it has tration that acts with little regard to what Congress says and been through the power of the purse. However, there is Article the primary reason is there’s not really a downside. Using the II, Section 4 of the U.S. Constitution, which is the impeach- power of the purse has become politically untenable. Chal- ment clause. lenges to executive authority through the judiciary take a long In the last 20 years Congresses have been reluctant to use time. And impeachment has been taken off the table because the power of the purse to starve government agencies that of an effort that failed 15 years after being successfully dema- execute the law of the funds to do so – in other words, shut gogued as prudish Republicans prosecuting “Slick Willy’s” down the government. promiscuities in the White House. With previous government shutdowns – especially under But hasn’t enough time passed that Republicans shouldn’t a Democratic president with a Republican controlled Con- be punished for the indiscretions of the 1990s? Photo/whitehouse.gov | President Obama gress – presidents have had a willing accomplice in the media Even if one thinks impeachment is a measure of last resort, to show the negative aspects. Think of images of sobbing why would you take it off the table? children at the gates of Yellowstone National Park unable to Last week, former Gov. Sarah Palin (R-Alaska), the 2008 gram, the handling of the Sept. 11, 2012 terrorist attack on the see Old Faithful. GOP nominee for vice president, said now is the time to move U.S. consulate in Benghazi, the swap of prisoners of war for Even if there is just a threat of a government shutdown, on impeachment of Obama. U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl without notifying Congress – media outlets line up at the gates of the nearest military base “It’s time to impeach; and on behalf of American workers none of those would likely measure up to treason, bribery or seeking out some human interest hardship story that ultimate- and legal immigrants of all backgrounds, we should vehe- high crimes and misdemeanors. ly demonizes the GOP, which is now the party of tax breaks mently oppose any politician on the left or right who would It’s probably a little early to start calling for Obama to for billionaires or something. hesitate in voting for articles of impeachment,” Palin wrote in be impeached. Even if impeachment articles are brought by In a congressional environment where the emphasis is on an op-ed for Breitbart News. “The many impeachable offenses the House of Representatives, it would be dead on arrival in maintaining power, using the power of the purse has been a of Barack Obama can no longer be ignored. If after all this Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid’s Senate. At mini- marginalized tactic. he’s not impeachable, then no one is.” mum, the process would need to wait until after the midterm As far as Boehner’s lawsuit – this is unchartered territory Right now, there is likely a very weak case to be made that this fall, should the Republican Party wins enough seats to in our system of government and could backfire if the courts Obama’s indiscretion rise to the level of “Treason, Bribery, or regain control of the U.S. Senate. rule in Obama’s favor or even if they declare Boehner’s law- other high Crimes and Misdemeanors,” as laid out in Article That doesn’t mean, however, that impeachment should be suit is without merit because he does not have the standing to II, Section 4 of the Constitution. treated as some antiquated loophole buried in the U.S. Consti- challenge the Obama administration. Certainly his administration has made things up as it has tution that is never to be used and thus taken off the table. That leaves us with impeachment. gone along with his signature legislation in ObamaCare. Completely dismissing it will only embolden President Many have seen impeachment as a measure of last resort. There has yet to be a verifiable link between President Barack Obama and give more power to an already increasingly That impression only intensified following the unsuccessful Obama and the wrongdoings at the Internal Revenue Service heavy-handed executive branch and further diminish the impeachment of then-President Bill Clinton in 1998 for per- involving the agency’s targeting of political groups. The power of the legislative branch in a system that was set up for jury and obstruction of justice. Since then most have consid- Drug Enforcement Administration’s Fast and Furious pro- three co-equal branches.

C COMMENTARY First class schools don’t result from worst class investment BY KEN ROBINSON/CONTRIBUTING WRITER

s I have been in several local stores lately and seen of state spending, but around $500 million of that has come going to private or religious schools – a move the state could many of the varied and colorful school uniforms on at the expense of reduced funds toward education. For a state hardly afford. Mobile County alone saw $3 million drained display, it has reminded me that we have entered the that continually ranks in the lower percentile of education from its coffers as a result of the measure. In late May, the 7th inning stretch of the summer (at least for public spending, this is nothing to cheer about. You can’t have a first AAA was ruled unconstitutional by a Montgomery circuit schoolsA anyway). class education system with worst class investment in that judge, but the final outcome is still yet to be determined. I say 7th inning stretch because, like in baseball when the system. Yes, Mobile has its list of what seems like perennial failing game is close to winding down, it has reached the time for Alabama’s “First-Class” pre-K program has, year after schools (currently about six out of the 90 schools in Mobile many students in Mobile and Baldwin counties to soon start year, been acknowledged as one of the best in the country. But County). Yet, the solution to bringing these six schools up reentering classrooms. The summer vacation (to the chagrin sadly, only 6 percent of Alabama’s students currently have to the level of the other 84 is not taking millions of dollars of many students, and no doubt sheer elation and ecstasy of access to the program. away from the system as a whole. It’s in implementing proven many parents) is nigh at end. The Alabama Math Science and Technology Initiative strategies that work: hiring more teachers for said schools and The Mobile County Public School System had a very (AMSTI) and Alabama Reading Initiative (ARI) are likewise reducing classroom sizes, increasing the support staff at such successful 2013-2014 school year, and its “It Starts with Us” nationally touted programs that have been emulated in other schools, intensive parental programs, and greater access to campaign has garnered much praise. But, like most county states. Yet, like the First Class program, many students across quality of life resources at the schools. school systems in Alabama, an alternative slogan and cam- Alabama are not exposed to them due to funding shortages. We can continue to be proud of short changing our educa- paign the system could have adopted is: “Doing More with In 2013, the Alabama legislature rammed through the Ala- tion system and not spend money on our kids on the front-end, Quite a Bit Less!” bama Accountability Act (AAA), which had less to do with or pay on the back-end by having a prison system bursting at Recently our political leaders in Montgomery were quite public school accountability, and more about siphoning tens the seams, which in Alabama, is another story in and of itself. boastful of the fact that they’ve helped cut a billion dollars of millions from Alabama public schools to assist students in

14 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 atlanta Bread Company ($- istanBul Grill ($) reGina’s kitChen ($-$$) $$) Sandwiches, salads & more. Authentic Turkish Resturant. Sandwiches, subs and soups. 3680 Dauphin St. • 380-0444 3702 Airport Blvd. • 461-6901 2056 Government St. • 476- BenJamin’s ($) JamaiCan viBe ($) 2777 Burgers,wings and seafood. Mind-blowing island food. river shaCk ($-$$) 2107 Airport Blvd. • 450-9377 3700 Government Blvd. Ste A Seafood, burgers & steaks. Briquettes steakhouse ($-$$) 602-1973 6120 Marina Dr., Dog River $ under $10/person Grilled steaks, chicken and Jimmy John’s ($) • 443-7318. $$ 10-25/person seafood. 720A Schillinger Rd. S. Sandwiches, catering & roly poly ($) $$$ over 25/person Suite 2. • 607-7200 delivery too. 6920 Airport Blvd. Wraps & salads. Cafe 219 ($) 414-5444 809 Hillcrest Rd. • 607-6378 Salads, sandwiches & potato Joe Cain Café ($) 3220 Dauphin St. • 479-2480 salad. 219 Conti St. • 438-5234 Pizzas, sandwiches, cocktails. roma Cafe ($-$$) Business Cafe malBis ($) 26 N. Royal St. • 338-2000 Pasta, salad and sandwiches. Casual Contemporary fare & eclectic kitChen on GeorGe ($-$$) 7143 Airport Blvd. • 341-7217 Bonefish Grill ($$) spirits. 28396 Hwy. 181, Daphne Contemporary American food. rosie’s Grill ($-$$) Eclectic dining & space. • 661-6620 351A George & Savannah St. Sandwiches, southwest fare, 7 6955 Airport Blvd. • 633-7196 CaJun seafood ($) 436-8890 days. Baudean’s ($$) Seafood market & deli fresh lap’s GroCery & Grill ($-$$) 1203 Hwy 98 Ste. 3D, Daphne Fried, grilled, steamed & seafood. 408 Dauphin Island Casual Seafood & southern • 626-2440 always fresh. 3300 River Rd. Pkwy. • 478-9897 classics. 1595 Battleship royal street Cafe ($) 973-9070 Camille’s sideWalk Café Parkway, Spanish Fort • 626- Homemade lunch & breakfast. ed’s seafood shed ($$) ($) Gourmet wraps, pizzas, & 0045 104 N. Royal St. • 434-0011 Fried seafood served in hefty more. 5817 Old Shell Rd. lava saGe restaurant ($$) portions. 3382 Hwy. 98 343-0200 ($) Fish & Chicken Inside the Mobile Marriott. 625-1947 Camellia Café ($-$$$) 396 Azalea Rd. • 345-8121 3101 Airport Blvd. • 476-6400 felix’s fish Camp ($$) Contemporary southern fare. maGhee’s Grill on the hill satori Coffeehouse ($) Upscale dining with a view. 61 Section St., Fairhope ($-$$) Great lunch & dinner. Coffee, smoothies, lunch & 1420 Hwy. 98 • 626-6710 928-4321 3607 Old Shell Rd. • 445-8700 beers. 5460 Old Shell Rd. • half shell oyster house ($) Cammie’s old dutCh ($) mama’s ($) 344-4575 3654 Airport Blvd. • 338-9350 Mobile’s classic ice cream Slap your mama good home serda’s Coffeehouse ($) leGaCy Bar & Grill ($$$) spot. 2511 Old Shell Rd. cooking. 220 Dauphin St. Coffee, lunches, live music & American, Seafood,Stekhouse. 471-1710 432-6262 gelato. 9 Du Rhu Dr. S. • 341-3370 Carpe diem ($) mars hill Cafe ($) 3 Royal St. S. • 415-3000 luCy B. Goode ($$) Deli foods, pastries & specialty Great sandwiches, coffee & smokey demBo smoke Gulf Coast cuisine, reinvented. drinks. 4072 Old Shell Rd. more. 5025 Cottage Hill Rd. house ($) 3758 Dauphin Island 200 E. 25th Ave., Gulf Shores 304-0448 643-1611 Pkwy. • 473-1401 967-5858 Chat-a-Way Cafe ($) mary’s southern CookinG ($) spot of tea ($) lulu’s ($$) Quiches & sandwiches in 3011 Springhill Ave. • 476-2232 Mobile’s favorite spot for Live music & great seafood. Spring Hill. 4366 Old Shell Rd. melloW mushroom ($) breakfast & lunch. 200 E. 25th Ave., Gulf Shores 343-9889 Pies & awesome beer selection. 306 Dauphin St. • 433-9009. 967-5858 ChiCken salad ChiCk ($) 2032 Airport Blvd. • 471-4700 southern deCadenCe oriGinal oyster house ($-$$) Sandwich, Chicken Salad, 5660 Old Shell Rd. • 380-1500 desserts ($) Soups, Salads, A great place for kids and Salad & Soup. 2370 S. Hillcrest momma GoldBerG’s deli ($) Desserts & seafood. 3733 Hwy. 98 Rd. Unit R • 660-0501 Sandwiches & Momma’s Love. Sandwiches. 1956 B University 626-2188 Cravin CaJun ($) 3696 Airport Blvd. • 344-9500 Blvd. • 300-8304 oyster roCkefeller ($$-$$$) Po-boys, salads & seafood. 5602 Old Shell Rd. • 287-6556 stevie’s kitChen ($) 312 Schillingers Rd. • 607-9527 1870 Dauphin Island Pkwy monteGo’s ($-$$) Sandwiches, stuffed potatoes, riCe asian Grill & sushi Bar 287-1168 Fresh Caribbean-style food & soups, salads & desserts ($) 3964 Government Blvd. Cream & suGar ($) craft beer. 6601 Airport Blvd. 41 West I-65 Service Rd. N Suite 378-8083 Breakfast, lunch in Oakleigh. 634-3445 150. the harBor room ($-$$) Ice cream too. mostly muffins ($) stray doG’s hash Unique seafood. 351 George St. #B • 405-0003 Muffins, coffee & wraps. house diner ($) 64 S. Water St. • 438-4000 d’ miChael’s ($) 105 Dauphin St. • 433-9855 Breakfast & lunch made to taCky JaCks ($-$$) Philly cheese steaks, gyros & mudBuGs at the loop ($) order Gulf Shores favorite on the more. 7101-A Theodore Dawes Cajun Kitchen & seafood 263 St Francis St. • 402-4919 Causeway. 1175 Battleship Rd. • 653-2979 market. 2005 Government St. tamara’s Bar & Grill ($) Pkwy. • 621-8988 delish desserts ($) 478-9897 Wings, po-boys, burgers. tp CroCkmiers ($-$$) Great desserts & hot lunch muG shots ($$) 210 Eastern Shore Center, Hwy. American Restaurant & Bar 23 Upham St. • 473-6115 Bar & Grill. 98 • 929-0002 250 Dauphin St. • 476-1890 deW drop inn ($) 6255 Airport Blvd. • 447-2514 tp CroCkmiers ($) the BlueGill ($-$$) Classic burgers, hotdogs & neWk’s express Cafe ($) American Restaurant & Bar A historic seafood dive with live setting. 1808 Old Shell Rd. Oven-baked sandwiches & 250 Dauphin St. • 476-1890 music. 3775 Hwy. 98 625- 473-7872. more. 252 Azalea Rd. • 341- the Blind mule ($) 1998 doWntoWners ($) 3533 Daily specials made from scratch. the italian fisherman ($$) Great sandwiches, soups & salads. old 27 Grill ($) 57 N. Claiborne St. • 694-6853. Seafood Italian style. 107 Dauphin St. • 433 8868 Burgers, dogs & 27 beers & the Courtyard at 311($) 2503 Old Shell Rd. • 478-2881 e WinG house ($) wines. 19992 Hwy. 181 Old Great food and large selection Wintzell’s oyster house 195 S University Suite H County Rd. Fairhope • 281-2663 of spirits. 311 Fairhope Ave., ($-$$) 662-1830. 2212 Dauphin Island orleans po-Boys ($-$$) Fairhope • 928-2032 605 Dauphin St. • 432-4605 Pkwy • 479-2021 Po-boys, gumbo, seafood & the house ($-$$) 6700 Airport Blvd. • 341-1111 firehouse suBs ($) wings. Seafood, sandwiches, salads 1208 Shelton Beach Rd., Hot subs, cold salads & 960 Schillinger Rd S. • 633-3900 & soups Saraland 442-3335 catering. 6300 Grelot Rd. orleans Cafe ($-$$) 4513 Old shell Rd. • 408-9622 zea’s ($$) 631-3730 Po-boys, gumbo, seafood & the hunGry oWl ($) Gourmet rotisserie with prime fisherman’s leGaCy ($) wings. 3721 Airport Blvd. Burgers, flatbread pizza & rib & seafood. Deli, market and catering. 380-1503 seafood. 7899 Cottage Hill Rd. 4671 Airport Blvd. • 344-7414 4380 Halls Mill Rd. • 665-2266 panini pete’s ($) 633-4479 five Guys BurGers & fries ($) Original sandwich and bake the royal kniGht ($) 4401 Old Shell Rd. • 447-2393 shop. 42 1/2 Section St., Open for lunch & dinner. 3004 Completely 4663 Airport Blvd. • 300-8425 Fairhope • 929-0122 Gov’t Blvd • 287-1270 foosaCkly’s ($) 19 S. Conception St. • 405- three GeorGes Candy shop ($) ComfortaBle Famous chicken fingers. 0031 Light lunch with Southern flair. al’s hotdoGs ($) 310 S. University Blvd. pdq ($) 226 Dauphin St. • 433-6725 Classic hotdogs, gyros & 343-0047 Chicken fingers, salad & tropiCal smoothie ($) milkshakes 2250 Airport Blvd. • 479-2922 sandwiches. 1165 University Great smoothies, wraps & 4701 Airport Blvd. • 342-3243 7641 Airport Blvd. • 607-7667 Blvd. • 202-0959 sandwiches. Du Rhu Dr. • 378-5648 ashland midtoWn puB ($-$$) 2558 Schillinger Rd. • 219-7761. queen G’s Café ($) 570 Schillinger Road • 634-3454 Pizzas, pastas, & calzones. 3249 Dauphin St. • 479-2000 Down home cooking for lunch. 245-A Old Shell Rd. 479-3278 2518 Old Shell Rd. • 471-3361

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 15 the Bull ($-$$) Yen reStaurant ($) Jia at Beau rivage ($-$$) N. Mexico/Santa Fe & Gulf Coast Authentic Vietnamese cuisine. oLé mi amiGo! Exotic Japanese, Thai, Chinese, cuisine. 609 Dauphin St. 763 Holcombe Ave. • 478-5814 caBo coaStal cantina ($) Korean & Vietnamese cuisine. Jubilee Shopping Center, Daphne 225 Dauphin St. • 441-7685 378-5091 dauPhin St. taQueria ($) 875 Beach Blvd. the trelliS room ($$$) 625-4695 Enchiladas, tacos, & authentic 888-952-2582 Italian dishes & local flair. memPhiS Q at Beau rivage ($) fare. 661 Dauphin St. • 432-2453 Wild Wing Station ($) Battle House Hotel, Royal St. iS tHe Game on? el charro ($) Memphis-style Q. 1500 Government St. • 287-1526 338-5493 Buffalo Wild WingS ($) Finest Mexican in WeMo. 875 Beach Blvd. Yak the kathmandu kitchen Best wings & sporting events. 7751 Airport Blvd. • 607-0882 888-952-2582 ($-$$)Authentic foods from 6341 Airport Blvd. • 378-5955 fuego ($-$$) coaSt reStaurant at Beau Himalayan region. 3210 Dauphin a LittLe Vino Butch caSSidY’S ($) Outstanding Mexican cuisine. rivage ($) St. • 287-0115 domke market Famous burgers, sandwiches & 2066 Old Shell Rd. • 378-8621 Sports bar-style joint. Wine, Craft Beer, Gourmet foods, wings. 60 N. Florida St. • 450-0690. loS arcoS ($) & more. 875 Beach Blvd. • 888-952-2582 2410 Dawes Rd. Ste. D. callaghan’S iriSh Social cluB Quaint Mexican restaurant. lB’S SteakhouSe at grand 375-0599 ‘Cue ($) Burgers & beer. 5556 Old Shell Rd. • 345-7484 caSino ($$-$$$) BackYard cafe & BBQ ($) fathomS lounge 916 Charleston St. • 433-9374 la cocina ($) Home cookin’ like momma made. A tapas reaturant, cocktails & live heroeS SPortS Bar & grille ($) Authentic Mexican cuisine. Fine dining with juicy steak & fine wine. 2804 Springhill Ave. • 473-4739 music 64 S. Water St. Sandwiches & cold beer. 4633 Airport Blvd. • 342-5553 Brick Pit ($) 438-4000 273 Dauphin St. • 433-4376. Santa fe grill ($) 280 Beach Blvd. • 800-946-2946 red or White A favorite barbecue spot. Hillcrest & Old Shell Rd. Locally-owned, fresh cuisine. cuu long SuPer Pho at grand 323A De La Mare Ave, Fairhope 341-9464 3160 Bel Air Mall • 450-2440 caSino ($$) 5456 Old Shell Rd. • 343-0001 990-0003 dreamland BBQ ($) mcSharrY’S iriSh PuB ($) Asian noodle soups, bubble teas 1801 Old Shell Rd. Brillant Reubens & Fish-N-Chips & more. Ribs, sandwiches & great sides. 478-9494 101 N. Brancroft St. Fairhope • no GambLinG 280 Beach Blvd. • 800-946-2946 3314 Old Shell Rd. • 479-9898. roYal Street tavern 990-5100 moe’S original Bar B Que ($) Live music,martinis & a light emeril’S gulf coaSt fiSh houSe the landing ($) CaSino Fare at iSland vieW caSino ($$-$$$) Bar-b-que & music. Bayfront Park dinner menu. 26 N. Royal St. From seafood to steaks. Kick it up a notch. Dr., Daphne • 625-RIBS 338-2000 11799 Dauphin Island Pkwy. atmore 701 Springhill Ave. • 410-7427. Southern naPa 973-2696 fire at Wind creek caSino & 3300 W. Beach Blvd. SaucY Q BarBQue ($) Bistro plates, craft beers and luckY’S iriSh PuB ($) hotel ($$-$$$) 877-774-8439 pantry. World-class prime steaks, seafood Award-winning BarBQue. 2304 Main Street. Irish pub fare & more. c&g grille at iSland vieW 375-2800 3692 Airport Blvd • 414-3000 & wine. 303 Poarch Rd. 866-946- caSino ($) 1111 Government Blvd. • 433-7427 3360 WhiStle StoP ($) the Stadium ($) Large breakfast, lunch or dinner Catch the games with great food. grill at Wind creek caSino & menu. 3300 W. Beach Blvd. 877- Home cookin’ & BBQ. hotel ($) FaLaFeL? try 19270 Hwy. 98 Fairhope • 990- 774-8439 110 S. Florida St. • 478-7427 0408 Contemporary & old-fashioned Some HummuS favorites. Wahoo’S PoolSide Bar and 7 SPice ($-$$) WemoS ($) grill at Palace caSino reSort Wings, tenders, hotdogs & 303 Poarch Rd. • 866-946-3360 Healthy, delicious Mediterranean ($-$$) Drop DeaD sandwiches. 312 Schillinger Rd. food. 3762 Airport Blvd. Fresh seafood & more. 633-5877 biLoxi Gourmet 725-1177 viBe at hard rock hotel and 158 Howard Ave. • 800-725-2239 alaBama cruiSeS ($$) aBBa’S mediterranean cafe ($- caSino ($-$$) mignon’S at Palace caSino Fine dining & sailing from Of $$) Beef, lamb & seafood. mama mia! Fine surf, turf, reSort ($$-$$$) Orange Beach • 973-1244 4356 Old Shell Rd. • 340-6464 atmosphere & cigars. JeruSalem cafe ($-$$) BentZ’S PiZZa PuB ($) Extraordinary wine, steaks & BaY gourmet ($$) Homemade pizza and Italian 777 Beach Blvd. Mobile’s oldest Middle Eastern seafood. A premier caterer & cooking dishes. 28567 County Rd. 13 877-877-625 cuisine. 5773 Airport Blvd. • 304- ruth’S chriS Steak houSe at 158 Howard Ave. • 800-725-2239 classes. 1880-A Airport Blvd. 625-6992 the den at treaSure BaY 1155 Buck’S PiZZa ($$) hard rock hotel & caSino ($$$) 450-9051 mediterranean SandWich Exceptional service & taste. caSino ($-$$) café 615 ($$-$$$) Delivery. comPanY ($) Great & quick. 777 Beach Blvd . Intimate & casual with daily American fare with local 350 Dauphin St. • 431-9444 274 Dauphin St. • 545-3161 gamBino BrotherS ($) 877-877-6256 specials. 1980 Beach Blvd. ingredients. 615 Dauphin St. 2502 Schillinger Rd. Ste. 2 Homemade pastas & sandwiches. hard rock café at hard rock 800-747-2839 725-0126 432-8434. 873 Hillcrest Ave. 344-8115 hotel and caSino ($) cQ at treaSure BaY caSino ($$- café roYal ($$-$$$) mint hookah BiStro ($) gamBino’S italian grill ($) American fare & rockin’ $$$) Great Mediterranean food. Prime steak & seafood in elegant Italian, Steaks, Seafood, memorabilia. 777 Beach Blvd. 877- Elegant atmosphere & tantalizing setting. 5951 Old Shell Rd. • 450-9191 877-6256 101 N. Royal St. ZorBa the greek ($-$$) 18 Laurel Ave. Fairhope entrees. 1980 Beach Blvd. 405-5251 990-0995 SatiSfaction at hard rock Shawarmah & baba ghanouj. hotel and caSino ($) 800-747-2839 noJa ($$-$$$) guido’S ($$) Blu at treaSure BaY caSino ($) 1222 Hillcrest Rd, Ste. D Fresh cuisine nightly on menu. Southern favorites & fresh- Inventive & very fresh cuisine. 633-2202 Lounge with cocktails & tapas 1709 Main St., Daphne • 626-6082 smoked meats. 777 Beach Blvd. 6 N. Jackson St. • 433-0377 877-877-6256 menu. 1980 Beach Blvd. oSman’S reStaurant ($$) la PiZZeria ($$) Far eaStern Fare Italian, pizza, seafood & steaks. tien at iP caSino 800-747-2839 Supreme European cuisine. Bangkok thai ($-$$) 1455 Monroe St. • 380-6419 reSort SPa ($-$$) margaritaville 2579 Halls Mill Rd. • 479-0006. Delicious, traditional Thai cuisine. Pan-Asian cuisine made in front reStaurant ($$$) 3821 Airport Blvd. la roSSa ($$) roYal Scam ($$) of you. Burgers, salads, specialties & 344-9995 Catering and Market. Gumbo, Angus beef & bar. BanZai JaPaneSe reStaurant 1716 Main St. Ste. C, Daphne 850 Bayview Ave. more. 160 5th St. 72. S. Royal St. 625-0345 888-946-2847 ($$) Traditional sushi & lunch. highlightS SPortS lounge at iP 855-667-677 432-SCAM (7226) 312 Schillinger Rd. • 633-9077 PicklefiSh ($$) feeding frenZY Buffet ($-$$) ruth’S chriS Steak houSe ($$$) Pizza, sandwiches & salads. caSino reSort SPa ($) liQuid ($$) Brews & game on 65 screens. (margaritaville caSino) Exceptional service & taste. Amazing sushi & assortment of 5955 Old Shell Rd.• 344-9899 850 Bayview Ave. 888-946-2847 Featuring Gulf Coast Cuisine 271 Glenwood St. • 476-0516 rolls. 661 Dauphin St. • 432-0109 PaPa’S Place ($$) A Taste of Italy . BYOB. high tide café at iP caSino 160 5th St. • 855-667-677 tamara’S doWntoWn ($$) mikato JaPaneSe Steak houSe reSort SPa ($) marina at landShark Casual fine dining. ($$) Upscale sushi & specialties. 28691 U.S. Highway 98, Daphne 626-1999 Casual & relaxing, extensive landing($-$$) 104 N. Section St. Fairhope 364 Azalea Rd. • 343-6622 menu. rock n roll SuShi ($$) ravenite ($) 850 Bayview Ave. (margaritaville caSino) 929-2219 Pizza, Pasta, Salad & more 888-946-2847 4 portable food stations. 3299 Bel Air Mall. • 287-0445 Br Prime at Beau rivage ($$- union ($$$) WaSaBi SuShi ($$) 102 N. Section St. • 929-2525 160 5th St. • 855-667-6777 Premium steaks & burgers. Japanese cusine via emilia ($$) $$$) Fine dining establishment. 659 Dauphin St. • 432-0300 3654 Airport Blvd. suite C Homemade pastas & pizzas made 875 Beach Blvd. 725-6078 daily. 5901 Old Shell Rd. 342-3677 888-952-2582

if You are a local reStaurant and Would like to Be liSted in our cuiSine liStingS email Your information to Steve hall at: [email protected]

eftovers. We’ve never had the chance to discuss them, have we? I know some of you who despise the idea of leftover Cornbread: I can happily put food, almost as if you are above it. My life, maybe by de- together a small portion of dressing, sign, often relies heavily on yesterday’s feast. but my mom loves to make cornbread LYou see, I am a horrible judge of “how much is enough” when salad. Layer Romaine, peas, crum- I’m in the kitchen. I have a fear of running out. This often leads to bled cornbread, cheese and creamy a refrigerator full of last night’s uneaten meals that never find their Italian dressing followed by another way into Tupperware for today’s lunch. Like a fool I usually come layer. Scoop and enjoy. Weirdly good. home and cook again. It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out how this can Chocolate Easter bunny: In a build up over a course of three days. Luckily I was trained well in double boiler melt the chocolate, my formative years as on Mondays I would get creative with the butter, a little cream and a teaspoon microwave and the myriad Cool Whip containers full of Sunday or so of Grand Marnier. You’ll have dinner from my grandmother’s house. A little of this here, a little a chocolate sauce you won’t believe. of that there, maybe a sprinkle of cheese, next thing you know I Serve this over ice cream or chocolate have a bowl full of something that resembles twice eaten dog food soufflés. Or your significant other. but tastes like a heavenly casserole. I felt like a 13-year-old Justin Wilson. It wasn’t until later on in high school that I began to wonder, “How much Cool Whip can one woman buy? Does she have a problem?” To this day if I see the familiar white and blue con- Photos/(left) foodnetwork.com, (right) bettycrocker.com tainer in my mom’s fridge or anyone else’s, the last thing I would dream of that container containing is Cool Whip. Spaghetti tacos (top) and cornbread salad (left) are I do have my favorite leftover rituals, but I asked around for two dishes growing in popularity, perhaps born out some interesting ideas from friends. I’d like to hear of any weird (but delicious) leftover habits you may have and would gladly do of innovation with yesterday’s leftovers. a follow up column. Don’t be shy. I’ll change your name to protect your identity if you wish. I’m talking about you, “Sugar Plum lids placed by your garden. No more snails or slugs. Then say a Fairy.” Just come out, already. Nobody cares anymore. couple of Hail Marys for wasting the beer. Here are some of the things I came up with. Macaroni and cheese: While attending college I kept the Kraft Leftover mashed potato pancakes: I have the inability to Corporation in business. We called this creation “Macaroni and discern how many potatoes are enough for whatever amount of Gold.” Cold mac and cheese is horrible until you mix in diced people. I always have leftovers. I failed at many glorious attempts ham, English peas, a tiny bit of yellow mustard, and crumbled at making the potato pancakes. The trick is to use very cold Cheetos. When out of Cheetos, Cheese Nips will do fine. mashed potatoes. Mix in an egg and a little bit of flour. I usually add green onion, but some people despise that. The cast iron is my Rotel dip: This is my favorite leftover dish ever. The day favorite skillet for this one. It doesn’t take much oil, but raise the after the Super Bowl is usually my first one of the year. I make temperature a little above medium. Make sure it’s hot before you Popcorn: The next time you have a bowl of soup don’t reach a flattened out grilled cheese with a generous portion of the dip put them in. Flatten it out with a spatula. It takes a little longer for the saltines. Go to that tin of leftover popcorn. Avoid the cara- replacing the usual single. It must be grilled in butter. It must be than you’d think. It’s not a real pancake, remember. mel. This also works well with gazpacho. accompanied by a Coke. It must be consumed in solitude. No one Some of you are thinking, “Andy, what about shepherd’s pie?” needs to see you get that in your beard. Well I’ll tell you why that won’t work. There are never enough Moon pies: This one came from my sister. Coat two graham leftover potatoes for shepherd’s pie, so while assembling the crackers with peanut butter and affix to a chocolate moon pie. Send any odd submissions or creative ideas for leftovers my casserole I realize I have to (you guessed it) make more mashed Heat thoroughly in the oven and you’ll have one of the best way. I don’t mean “here’s what to do with leftover rotisserie potatoes. And the next day make potato pancakes. s’mores ever. chicken.” You can do almost the same thing with it as you could a fresh, raw chicken. We already know that any protein or vegetable Spaghetti: I know I am not the only one who accidentally Leftover bacon: Yeah, right. could become a quiche. I am looking for combinations that are makes enough spaghetti to feed the Green Bay Packers. Here are unique. Maybe you have a crazy uncle with some habit. Maybe a couple of ways to dispose of it. Stuffed bell peppers are the sim- Beer: I know you are thinking the same thing as bacon, but it a hurricane forced you to discover something you’re proud of. plest way. No point in making the meatloaf concoction. The other happens. You crack open a cold one and leave it on the counter. Whatever the case, let’s clean out the fridge and eat!! way is the growing trend of spaghetti tacos. Yes, put the spaghetti, Deep in conversation (or possibly drunk) you ask, “Where’s my sauce and all into a baked hard taco shell. Top with parmesan and beer?” then you head to the icebox to crack open another. Tomor- Sincerely, let her rip. row you should take that lukewarm, flat beer and pour it into small Spaghetti for Days

18 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 Word of mouth CuISINE CC Half Shell Oyster House ain’t half bad. It’s better than great. BY ANDY MACDONALD/CUISINE EDITOR | [email protected]

hat is the general feeling I get from those who’ve visited ciously. We plan to be as aggressive as possible with our openings the new Airport Boulevard location that opened last week. as we continue to actively seek the best real estate in the county for Social media pages are blowing up with the praises. Let’s our upcoming new locations.” hope Half Shell Oyster House in Mobile can keep up with One look at the website and I can see why they are so excited. Tthe demand. It’s kind of the assembly line style of Subway or Moe’s Southwest I recently had a couple dozen, perfectly sized oysters – a good Grill but for pizza. Three crusts – traditional, wheat or gluten-free – medium – and delicious. Not only does Half Shell have an excel- are followed by a palette of sauces ranging from the more common lent menu (I built a plate of blackened redfish, cheese grits and an tomato-basil, pesto or olive oil to the outrageous spicy buffalo, awesome salad), there was a monthly special I couldn’t resist. The zesty barbecue or buttermilk ranch. seared ahi tuna with a Sriracha-lime mayo over a soy glaze was Cheese-wise there are the usual suspects plus oddities like Daiya better than great. It only lacked a little wasabi. But the sleeper of vegan cheese, ricotta, and goat cheese. the regular menu is the seafood stuffed portabella mushroom. I Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint boasts an affinity for providing lo- never dreamed it would turn out so good. cal vegetables when available as well as handmade meatballs and This place may be a regular stop for some of us. sausage. For the grand opening of Daphne’s Uncle Maddio’s Saturday, Uncle Maddio’s opens with free pizza! July 19, everyone in line at 11 a.m. will receive a free three-top- This is a rocket ship of a pizza chain, but I’m sure Mobile and ping, 9-inch pizza. One lucky winner will receive pizza for a year! Baldwin County will have no trouble getting behind it. Uncle Mad- Get on down and enjoy some hormone free chicken and homemade dio’s Pizza Joint is the new restaurant to look out for in Daphne. salad dressings while you munch on a pie. Welcome to the area. This is the first of four franchises to hit our area, the second of Photo/mcalistersdeli.com which should be open in Mobile County sometime during the Time running out for Italian Fisherman’s Greek fourth quarter of this year. Wine Dinner “Countdown to Free Tea Day Sweepstakes” in honor of our 6th This 23rd unit will be will be the first in south Alabama and There are still spots available for Old Shell Road’s Italian Fish- Annual “Free Tea Day,” company representative Donna Josephson will be located in the Jubilee Square Shopping Center at 6882 U.S. erman’s latest wine dinner slated for Tuesday, July 22, at 7 p.m. If said. “This is our way of saying thank you to our loyal guests over Highway 90, Suite G-1 in Daphne. Local franchise partners Lisa you like Greek Fest then you may be blown away by cuisine that the years.” and Don Taylor couldn’t wait to bring the restaurant to our area. isn’t offered there, as well as some amazing wine expertly paired. Save the date. July 24 McAlister’s will be giving away one free “After just one visit to an Uncle Maddio’s Pizza Joint we knew What you get will be well worth the $60 per person, but you 32-ounce tea to every customer. this was a restaurant concept that we wanted to bring to our home- must be signed up by Friday, July 18. Call for your reservation now As a former employee of the Hattiesburg store on Hardy Street town. At Uncle Maddio’s everyone gets exactly what they want at 251-401-7246. I love this food in the summer. 20 years ago can say that it’s good. I’ve had swimming pools of the on their pizza,” says Don Taylor. “We look forward to introducing stuff with a mouthful of starlight mints while slinging sandwiches. Signup on either www.mcalistersdeli.com or their social media Uncle Maddio’s to Daphne and Mobile. Uncle Maddio’s offers a “Free Tea Day” at McAlister’s. I hope they completely new way to dine together with family and friends. Meat facebook.com/teafreaks page for chances to win gift certificates lovers and vegans coexist with the limitless options for personal- offer unsweet between now and the celebratory date. You may win a $25 gift card “We have been serving up McAlister’s famous sweet tea for ized pizzas, paninis and salads, served quickly, affordably and deli- but cross your fingers for the grand prize of $250. the last 25 years and wanted to celebrate this milestone with the Gentlemen, start your bladders!

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 19 CC THIRSTY WORK CUISINE Not up for brewing beer at home? Try making flavored gin! BY SUSAN LARSSON/CONTRIBUTING WRITER | [email protected]

istening to “Sip and Chew with Mike and Stu” on FM Talk 106.5, Sunday mornings at 8 a.m., a.k.a. “stupid early,” can be a stream-of-consciousness adventure, but Lyou’ll nearly always learn some new gastro- nomic fact, or at least be reminded of a culinary lesson you’ve long forgotten. Mike Bailey focuses on sipping, while Stu Donald, who you may know from Lucky Irish Bar and Grill, concentrates on chewing. For news and opinions about the local food and drink scene, you really cannot beat it. A recent program had Mike and Stu veering off on a tangent about sloe gin, which I hadn’t thought about in years and is something you Photo/wikipedia.org can make at home. You’re not actually making alcohol, but flavoring it, so you don’t have to Substitute sloes (above) with worry about home-brewing (or distilling) laws. cherries or blueberries to make Best of all, you only need three ingredients and “sloe gin,” slowly, at home. some sterile jars, rather than some complicated fermentation apparatus. rect sunlight) and visit them every couple of days Most folks know sloe gin from the Sloe Gin to turn them over – like a mother hen rotating her Fizz, a cocktail popular in the 1950s resurrected eggs – for the first couple of weeks. during the disco era – when it was one of my After about three months of quiet repose, your favorites – but few folks know what sloe gin re- sloe gin will be ready to strain into fresh bottles ally is (including Mike and Stu on the Sunday in and tuck away until you’re ready to make cock- question, so don’t feed bad). tails. (I said the recipe was easy; I didn’t say it The short answer is that it’s a liqueur, made was quick. Some experts recommend leaving the by steeping sloes with sugar in gin. fruit and gin to steep for as long as six months. The sloe – also called the blackthorn – is a Maybe that’s why some people think the liqueur fruit indigenous to Europe and Asia, which may is called “slow gin.”) Before straining, you’ll account for why it’s a bit obscure here. It’s simi- want to taste a small sample for sweetness. You lar to the damson plum, though, and you can use want it to be pretty sweet, and that can be tricky damsons and similar fruits to make flavored gins if you’re using actual sloes. to enjoy as you would sloe gin. If you think your infusion needs to be sweet- Making sloe gin probably is most popular in er, you can make what’s called “simple syrup” the United Kingdom, where sloes are harvested by dissolving one cup of sugar in one cup of in the fall. The fruit is quite bitter, even when water in a saucepan over low heat. Once cooled, ripe, but tastes better if picked after a frost. For you can add it to your sloe gin, blueberry gin, that reason alone sloes may never be a cash crop blackberry gin or whatever, to suit your taste as in Mobile but, like I said, you can use other fruits you bottle it. Your infused gin should then keep in their place. for as long as you’d keep a bottle of regular, If you find yourself at an autumn market in plain gin – years, in other words. Britain or northern Europe, though, look for the So now, how about making a Sloe Gin Fizz? folks selling fruit preserves and you’ll probably I’m up for one or two, plus maybe digging my find some sloe gin and other fruit-infused gins at BeeGees vinyl out of the box in the closet … but the same market stalls. that’s another story. So, let’s pretend we have sloes, damsons or Anyway, recipes vary but the basic Sloe Gin something similar (cherries, blueberries or black- Fizz cocktail is made as follows: berries would work just fine). What’s next? Combine 1 ounce sloe gin with 1 ounce reg- For sloes, you want to wash them and then ular gin, ½ ounce lemon juice and 1 teaspoon prick the skins all over with a needle so the juice simple syrup in a cocktail shaker. Add ice to fill will seep out. You can also crack the skins by half the shaker, shake vigorously and strain into freezing the fruit overnight and then thawing a cocktail glass. Top with club soda. You may it, which simulates the effect of frost. You’d want to adjust the lemon juice and simple syrup want to prick damsons, cherries or blueberries, amounts, though, if your sloe gin is already too; blackberries are delicate enough that you fairly sweet. can skip this step. Myself, I stick with freezing My cocktail Bible, “The Savoy Cocktail because it’s easier. Book,” oddly doesn’t list a Sloe Gin Fizz recipe, Once you’ve prepared your fruit, you need although it does list a Blackthorn Cocktail (made to sterilize your bottles (or jars, if you prefer). with Angostura bitters, absinthe, Irish whisky Make sure you choose bottles with air-tight caps, and French vermouth), a Sloe Gin Cocktail to prevent contamination. After you sterilize the (French vermouth, Italian vermouth and sloe bottles, fill each half-way with fruit and then gin), a Sloeberry Cocktail (Angostura bitters, the rest of the way with gin. You want to use a orange bitters and sloe gin) and a Ruby Fizz good-quality gin, but not one with loads of its (lemon juice, powdered sugar, egg white, Grena- own aromatics because they’ll overwhelm your dine syrup, sloe gin and soda water) – the latter fruit infusion. probably being closest to today’s Sloe Gin Fizz. Then add your sugar – for a liter-sized bottle Oh, and just for fun, it lists an Alabama Fizz you’ll need between 6 and 8 ounces of regular (lemon juice, powdered sugar, gin, soda water white sugar – and shake it all up. Finally, lay and mint sprigs). Those should keep you busy the bottles on their sides in a dark place (no di- for a while. Enjoy!

20 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 21 THE REAL DEAL BUSINESS BB Captain D’s franchise in Mobile under new ownership BY RON SIVAK/COLUMNIST | [email protected] hree Mobile area Captain D’s restaurants, Rumors are swirling that wheels are in motion located at 1281 Hillcrest Road, 7690 for the property to be used in similar fashion Moffett Road and 2520 Government Blvd. as the Bragg-Mitchell Mansion for parties, have recently seen a change in ownership. luncheons, dinners; local wedding receptions; TThe husband and wife team of Jason and Rob- various and sundry locally-planned business and in Kaetzel, originally from the Birmingham area, social event extravaganzas. According to insiders recently formed Seaside Foods Mobile, Inc., and familiar with the transaction, a major happen- purchased the three locations of the well-known ing is already tentatively scheduled for August, batter dipped fish, shrimp and crab restaurant. assuming city government’s due diligence on the Husband Jason Kaetzel has more than 30 property is completed in a timely manner. years of experience with the Captain D’s corpora- Built in 1905 as a private residence, the prop- tion, serving a full bandwidth of positions from erty was converted in 1976 into one of Mobile’s cook to vice president of operations. “There will most well-known and high-end eateries that

be an updated image coming soon to our local remained a part of the cityscape until shuttering Photo/Gabriel Tynes Captain D’s restaurants, with remodels and up- in 2010. The 45,000-square-foot Loop-area site dated paint schemes in the works for the future,” was renovated in 2013 by the Weavil Commer- The Pillars building at The Loop may Kaetzel said. cial Real Estate Company. The building itself become a multi-use event space. New ownership also brings fresh ideas in the is 6,300-square-feet and consists of seven large way of an introductory grill menu. Captain D’s offices, a conference room, a solarium, a kitchen possibly expand in the near future. As reported will now offer such items as grilled salmon, tila- and a large reception area. at the time, Carlton overcame a drug conviction pia, surf and turf, along with the normal fried fare and domestic violence to open up her own small from the franchise Mobilians are familiar with. business three years ago; selling hot dogs from Bayway expansion plans get boost her popular stands prominently parked directly in “We realize that as a community people are According to a recent news release, efforts on front of Government Plaza in downtown Mobile. often trying to be more health conscious when the future I-10 bridge and Bayway expansion got Carlton recently said attorneys, judges, jury eating out. That was one of the reasons why we a boost as word came that the draft environmen- duty members, business types and tourists have acquired new equipment for each location im- tal impact study will be released in the next few started to visit her carts in droves since the dog mediately after purchasing the restaurants. We weeks. Once it is out, residents will be asked to days of summer began sizzling downtown foot adjusted the menu to offer customers more dining provide feedback by reviewing the study at a traffic. Increasing percentages of new customers choices,” Robin Kaetzel said. public location and/or attending public hearings are now morphing into regulars. The couple originally moved from Ashville, in Mobile and Baldwin counties. When the two original hot dog carts she Ala. to Santa Rosa County, Fla. in September of Afterwards, the feedback will be funneled into owned were stolen in Prichard, losses were re- 2012. When the opportunity to go out on their a revised study for the design and engineering couped via GoFundMe, an internet crowdfunding own came with the news that the local Captain phase to determine specifications. One popular site, as well as through local donations. D’s restaurants were up for grabs, it made sense question is whether or not bike lanes will be Carlton still expresses gratitude to the local to buy them as well as relocate to the area. included in the plans and, if so, how they’ll be community and the website for the assistance in The Kaetzels purchased a home in Daphne designed. Sources say planning could take up to her time of need. These days, however, she cred- last September and the entrepreneurial duo two years and construction is estimated to be a its the current soaring sales growth to her strong recently expressed elation at being new business four-to-six year ordeal. spiritual faith through good times and bad. owners plugged into the area economy. Moving The result will be a new Mobile River bridge, back home across state lines to Alabama was ic- expanding I-10’s capacity by six lanes (three in ing on the cake. “We would love to have enough each direction) and a Bayway expansion reaching Brand Energy Solutions opening success to be able to add new Captain D’s sites eight lanes in total. local office in the near future and have enjoyed learning To keep up with progress and potential meet- Brand Energy Solutions is opening an office about as well as becoming a part of the Mobile ing locations, individuals can follow updates on in July at 3512 Brookdale Drive South in Mobile and Baldwin county communities,” Robin the “Build The I-10 Bridge” Facebook page. to serve commercial and industrial customers Kaetzel said. from northwest Florida to Pascagoula, Miss. According to its website, the company Bama Brickhouse seeing hot growth Fresh start for The Pillars? contracts multi-craft services such as scaffold- after setback ing, insulation and painting. Its parent company, According to sources, the 109-year-old, white, Roughly six months after a fundraising effort Brand Energy & Infrastructure Services, is a two-story mansion at the nexus of Airport Bou- to replace two stolen hot dog carts – collectively provider of industrial and commercial construc- levard and Government Street – which housed worth several thousand dollars – belonging to tion specialty services and also serves the infra- the former iconic Pillars Restaurant – may soon Jeanine Carlton, owner of Bama Brickhouse structure and commercial markets in strategic see new ownership and a fresh start effective Hotdogs, business is booming and could quite sometime in August. international regions.

drive down Wilson Avenue through Prichard’s downtown nexed the Scott Paper Company mill and the International Paper Mill plan to get out of bankruptcy and it seems all of its obligations will area illustrates the ongoing struggle the city faces and mag- away from Prichard. The economic woes continued, as more and be met, Ephriam said. nifies its uncertain financial future. more whites moved to the suburbs, he said. “I think we received rave reviews on the job we were able to do Once vibrant storefronts stand closed, while vehicles Cooper also said a revitalization project might help bring some of in putting a financial plan together that would meet all our obliga- rumbleA over makeshift pavement and potholes to get to the I-165 on- that revenue back. tions to all of our pre-petition creditors and post-petition creditors,” ramp. Passing through, it’s hard to believe the city, during its heyday, “When I got elected (in 1972) the city had no budget,” Cooper he said. “We proved we could meet our obligation to our current had a population of nearly 50,000. said. “In a matter of two years we turned it around with a bond issue employees, who are vested and who, as a result of the plan, will be Mayor Troy Ephriam hopes that recent economic development and federal grants.” retiring soon, pending the judge’s final approval of the plan.” success and federal grants can help the city that has been shell Cooper said during that time the city was able to install a modern shocked by job loss, white flight and decades of poverty. communications system, cover drainage ditches and pave roads. Speziale resignation “My platform and my vision was set for the city when we were After about nine months on the job, Prichard Police Chief Jerry running and I’ve been pleased that we’re staying focused on that,” Revitalization Speziale left to take a job in his hometown in New Jersey. At the Ephriam said. “Yes, we’ve had internal and external challenges, but Another aspect of the revitalization plan involves the city demol- time, he hadn’t notified Ephriam, who said he was surprised to learn we said we were going to establish creditability, accountability and a ishing abandoned homes in Alabama Village, as well as other com- through media reports that Speziale had left. working vision for the City of Prichard.” munities. Taking care of blighted property in the former U.S. Army Speziale, who has a 12-year-old daughter and 18-year-old son, That vision includes a five-year comprehensive plan, which began barracks turned housing community is a priority for Ephriam. cited his wife’s death as one of the reasons for his departure, in a while Ephriam was still a member of the Prichard City Council. It According to documents provided by the mayor, Alabama Village resignation letter he later sent to Ephriam. was a plan from 2006 that Ephriam and staff found in boxes, then takes up 75 to 80 percent of the city’s public safety resources, even “It was unforeseen that he would be here for the brevity of time dusted off and began working with. though housing amounts to less than 5 percent of the population. In he was here,” Ephriam said. “This was a long-term commitment on Ephriam said the 2006 comprehensive plan had the support of addition, the community is visible to more than 24,000 vehicles a his part and we accepted that as such. We knew it would be a tough a committee behind it, but was dropped in 2008 before it could day, from the vantage point on I-165. transition for him after the passing of his wife, but we expected him be implemented. He said a “willingness to stick to this great plan Ephriam said Alabama Village was a “top-notch” housing devel- to work through it and we were going to help him work through it.” was forsaken.” opment, but when white flight happened and jobs left, “poverty sort Cooper, who was the chairman of a committee that helped Eph- Ephriam said he and staff immediately set to put the committee of crept in,” he said. riam search for a new police chief, said Speziale did a fantastic job back together and get started again. “It began the stages of decline in Prichard,” he said. “It was one of while he was there. “We put out an all points bulletin for committee members we our hallmark communities. It was one of our keynote communities and “He turned around our department,” Cooper said. “He had a sig- could find from the previous plan, so we could get their experience we lost it.” nificant impact on reducing crime and he boosted the morale of the and their knowledge,” he said. “We wanted them to tell us how they Severia Campbell Morris, president of the United Concern Citizens department and the citizens.” got to this point and what was the basis for formulating these ideas of Prichard and a candidate for the upcoming District 2 City Council To say that city officials were pleased with the reduction in crime and thoughts.” race, compared the community to a third-world country. during Speziale’s tenure would be a “tremendous understatement,” The Prichard Comprehensive Plan Committee, which is made up “Something has to be done,” Morris said. “You can’t even see Cooper said. of 15 to 20 business owners, residents, church and community group through the tall grass in some areas and when it rains, it literally floods.” The city has yet to release crime statistics from this year for com- leaders, meet in a conference room where the plans are affixed to the Morris said residents there have told her that snakes can some- parison. Spokeswoman Melanie Baldwin said numbers requested by walls, as a constant reminder of the goal. times be seen floating down the streets. She said she’s in favor of Lagniappe are still being audited. “Each meeting focuses on one aspect of the development plan,” doing something to help clean up the community. Cooper said the city knew at the time he was selected that Ephriam said. “We’ve got to get a redevelopment authority in place to help us Speziale’s wife was suffering from breast cancer and they had made One initial step in the comprehensive plan involves the use of figure out how to take advantage of the open spaces, how to make arrangements for her treatment at Mitchell Cancer Institute. The city about $5 million in Alabama Transportation Improvement Program good on the social epidemic that’s in that area that is basically had every expectation that she would come down to be with him. (ATRIP) funds for a rehabilitation program along Wilson Avenue. spurred on by poverty,” Ephriam said. “The chief thought he could soldier through, but that wasn’t to The money would allow the city to begin a resurfacing project in the Although Ephriam admitted the city “can’t just jump into be,” Cooper said. “His first responsibility was with his family. We area, as well as landscaping and other work, Ephriam said. Those Alabama Village” because they don’t own all of the property, the re- have nothing but sympathy and empathy for what happened.” projects would include the addition of trees, planter gardens, light moval of blighted properties has already been scheduled throughout Morris said Speziale leaving without first notifying the mayor of poles, trash receptacles and bike racks. the city, at a clip of about seven structures every 30 to 45 days. his intentions to resign was “disrespectful.” The ATRIP funds are needed to complete the initial project “We’re basically going to take care of small spots throughout our “He should’ve notified him,” Morris said. because, as Ephriam pointed out, the grants equal half of Prichard’s community,” Ephriam said. “We’re going to make those properties As far as a reduction in crime, Morris said it’s hard to see it at the $10.6 million annual operating budget. available for resale to a developer.” street level. She said, though, she would have to see some statistics “Let’s think about that for a minute,” he said. “If I’ve got that The city has been courting two different developers, Ephriam to be sure. kind of capital, that’s half of my operating budget and what I’m op- said. One developer wants to bring in a strip mall. He said the city “We haven’t noticed a decrease,” she said. “Hotspots are still erating on and using to provide salaries for employees and services was “close” to making a deal with a developer and could “be naming hotspots and you can literally see drug deals taking place.” to citizens, it only makes sense you let this be the focal point. This is someone fairly soon.” Recently, Ephriam named Prichard native Mike Rowland interim our catapult. This is our jump start.” “We’re just taking baby steps,” Ephriam said. police chief. Rowland was Ephriam’s first choice for the position Ephriam’s effort to revitalize downtown is getting support from until Speziale interviewed and the mayor doesn’t expect much to A.J. Cooper, Prichard’s first black mayor. Bankruptcy change during the transition. “The mayor’s effort is to be congratulated and supported,” Coo- The city’s revenue has increased 3 percent since Prichard asked “It’s a fortunate blessing that Chief Rowland was still available per said. to us because he had a number of opportunities, but none of those the state to help collect sales taxes from local businesses. Expenses Like many other American cities in the late 20th century, Prichard are also down 2 percent. opportunities were attractive to him and he basically was there,’ suffered from a movement of a portion of its residents from the “When we’re talking about millions of dollars that’s pretty sig- Ephriam said. “We’re probably going to get more top administrative downtown area to suburbs, which had an adverse effect on the tax nificant,” he said. leadership for the police department though Chief Rowland.” base. Cooper said the city’s economic woes began when Mobile an- In addition, a bankruptcy court judge is set to approve Prichard’s

24 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 change hands. Love’s coming to town Prichard has had some positive movement on “Who’s going to give me money for those as- the economic development front with the an- sets?” Ephriam asked. “Those assets belong to the nouncement that a Love’s Country Store and Truck City of Prichard. That’s what I was arguing the Stop will be bringing up to 40 jobs to the city, whole time.” Ephriam said. Ephriam called the referendum one of the most The business will be located at the site of an old detrimental pieces of legislation this state has ever truck stop on State Highway 45 near I-65. Ephriam seen, adding that without money from the water said the city is looking at a 90-to-120-day window system, the city’s revitalization plans would be for groundbreaking. tough to accomplish. “We’re excited about it,” he said. “I think the “This is about money now,” he said. “It’s always big thing for me is growth begets growth. Landing been about money and the need to commandeer a them is definitely going to open up thoughts and city’s right to establish it’s own destiny. That has development plans for other businesses similar to been taken away.” it that may support a Love’s. They’re more like a Cooper added that the bill was written to allow marketing piece for us.” MAWSS easy access to water systems farther north The truck stop will cost the city a share of the in Mobile County. diesel tax it collects, at least at first. The city will Both Ephriam and Cooper complained that split 5 percent of the diesel tax with the store, in Prichard would also be without representation on stages, Ephriam said. For the first seven moths the the MAWSS board and both said the move doesn’t city gets all the revenue generated from the tax. mean the residents of Prichard would necessarily For the next seven to 18 months Prichard gets 80 see a reduction in water bills, which is what spurred percent, and so on until all of a $3 million invest- the legislation in the first place. ment is paid off. Morris argued that the majority of Prichard “It takes money to make money,” Ephriam said. residents were in favor of the takeover and that “This was a great opportunity to share in that rev- Ephriam has lied about what the $1.3 million in enue dynamic, not necessarily taking a loss because municipal fees covers, namely that it’s not used to while we’re sharing the diesel tax, but we’re getting pay for garbage collection. all other forms of revenue.” “If MAWSS takes over we still pay $15 a month Love’s management also asked the city about the (for garbage pickup),” she said. “It’s not for police, possibility of locating a satellite police precinct near fire or the library. He said all these things.” the location of the truck stop. Morris said MAWSS would still collect those fees “I told them I thought that was a great idea,” Eph- for the city, as well as pay for a business license. riam said. “I think that’ll work for that location.” As for the cost associated with a new precinct, Council president resignation Ephriam said if the city chooses to go that route, Prichard has also been saddled with a $40,000 Love’s would be responsible for it. bill for a special election to replace former City “I think that’s something they’re going to be Council President Earline Martin-Harris. Martin- responsible for, they’ve committed to it,” he said. Harris resigned amid an allegation that she and “That’s not something they asked us to carry on her husband lived in Daphne, not Prichard. On the their behalf.” day she was set to go to trial for the allegation, she voluntarily resigned. The special election will be held on Tuesday, Prichard Water Board takeover Mobile County voters in June approved a refer- Aug. 26, Ephriam said, and the money for it endum, which handed over control of the Prichard could’ve been used in other ways. Water and Sewer System to the Mobile Area Water “That’s $40,000 we’ve got to find that we and Sewer System. could’ve put on salaries, or maybe even establish- The “yes” vote means that it’s up to MAWSS to ing another position that’s needed,” Ephriam said. now decide whether taking on the responsibility of “We need an urban planner right now in the City running Prichard’s water system makes economic of Prichard.” sense. MAWSS spokeswoman Barbara Shaw said Morris has previously said she and the UCCOP the board has until Wednesday, Sept. 3 to make a believes Martin-Harris should not only pay the city decision. She added that the board is still awaiting the $40,000 for the election, but should also pay financial documents from Prichard’s board before back $7,000 a year in salary she collected while on any decision can be made. the board. When the measure passed, Ephriam said he was “We feel like there should be some restitution concerned about the financial solvency of the city, paid,” Morris said. given that the move doesn’t’ guarantee MAWSS Martin-Harris has not returned calls seeking will pay Prichard for $1.3 million in municipal fees comment for this story. it was previously receiving. Those fees helped pay Including Morris, there are six candidates vying for city services, like trash pickup and also helped for the District 2 council seat. They are Gwendolyn the city make payroll, Ephriam said. Williams, Shelia Poole, Tommy James Bendolph, He and Cooper also took issue with the bill be- Paula Blevins and Carlton Wallace. The last day to cause it doesn’t allow for the city to get anything register to vote for the election is Friday, Aug. 15, in return for its $50 million in assets that will City Clerk Darlene Lewis said.

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 25 ARTIFICE | ART Art connecting the world and giving breath to life BY KEVIN LEE/ARTS EDITOR | [email protected]

he aptly named Internet brings us together, criss-crossing what once were nations with communities enslaved to the grid. It’s the latest advantage of civilization. The Cassandra chorus warn us, neo-Luddites all a-lather. T“It’s isolation,” they croon. “It will fragment us all.” But the web also enhances connectivity. It can also help reiterate the power of art with stories we would have never seen in earlier times. Like Big Apple fashion photographer Richard Renaldi and his ongoing project to snap compositions on the street with his 8-by-10 box camera. His subjects are in always touching – some at arms’ length, some enmeshed in physical embrace. And they are all strangers … to each other. “I had been working on a project photographing people in bus stations across the United States and I came across circumstances where I wanted make people in the same frame, that were waiting together but were strangers to each other,” Renaldi said in interview with flickr.net. “Out of that I thought that there was something really rich to explore. That is what actually led me to the idea of putting strangers together.” So he moved his set-up to the street. He would approach the strangers, tell them about the project then ask if they would volunteer. Many eagerly agreed. Photos/Richard Rinaldi “Some of the very early ones, they’re just holding hands or their arms are around each other,” Reenaldi said. “Very Richard Renaldi’s series “Touching Strangers” creates intimate conventional approaches to touch. But what I found myself moments between subjects who are unknown to each other. wanting was more intimate contact. There are some where people are actually kissing or nuzzling up to each other. And ciations between the subjects. Until they discover the subjects I would have never heard Danny tell about the enduring then there are some that are very uncomfortable.” are utter strangers, they assume they are family, lovers, friends love for his wife, how she made his existence worthwhile. Re- and have begun that association. gardless of his day’s trials, he cherished finding her presence. And some of the subjects said they’ve felt gaps bridged and Never would I have heard Annie tell how Danny called her When they see these photo- barriers breached by taking part. Their awareness of connec- at 3 p.m. every April 22 – the time their fates were hitched – tion to another person is enhanced. and asked her if she would do it all over again. Her agreement graphs, they ask themselves The project brings to mind a Proximity Booth featured was constant. ‘what would I do if some photographer in an early Temporal City Festival. An ongoing project by Danny was diagnosed with cancer after decades in mar- elizabet elliott, it promised two minutes in privacy “for only riage. Once again, he found strength in his wife. approached me on the street and a dollar” that could be filled with “eye contact, hand holding, “I feel her love in how she lights up the room when I wake secret keeping and truth telling.” Which truth and how subjec- up in the morning, in how she tells me to put my hands on asked me to touch a stranger?’ tive were up for debate. her shoulders to help me stand up, how she tells me I need to -Richard Rinaldi What she sought sounded much the same as Rinaldi, just drink more water,” Danny said. more direct in application. It cut to the core of the artistic Danny died the week after the interview was recorded. It endeavor. was also the day the animated film was first revealed to the He called the whole process “rewarding.” He said he Without art, my life would be wretched. No music, no public. knows it stirs something in viewers. They can be seen at design, no visuals or sculpture. No books or stories. No ani- Annie received thousands of condolence letters and reads touchingstrangers.org. mation or theater or films. Not even scribbling and doodling one each day. Someone has taken to sending her Valentine’s “When they see these photographs, they ask themselves while in meetings or on the phone. Day cards, as well. ‘what would I do if some photographer approached me on the Without art, I wouldn’t found an animated story online For Annie, that art was more than a flight of fancy. And for street and asked me to touch a stranger?’ Audience reactions featuring the cartoon interpretations of an older couple in- the people it reached and touched, who then reached out and ran the gamut from uncomfortable and creeped out to feeling terviewed in the audio track. Named Danny and Annie, they touched her, it was more than a fancy frill for modern life. really moved. Some people wrote me and said that these pic- recounted their meeting, their quick courtship that resulted in It kept Annie close to what meant life itself for her. If that’s tures brought them to tears,” Rinaldi said. Danny beseeching matrimony in curt terms. a miracle, then art is it. He also said most viewers reflexively try to construct asso-

everberation continues from our cover story on Mobile artist William “Bill” Morris (June 11, 2014). One reader contacted us to say that Morris’ name is no longer listed atop the pecking order at the Watercolor Society of Alabama (WSA). RAt the time of our cover story, Morris was still listed as president of that group on their website. There was also a June 11 letter outlining the requirements for WSA’s recent 73rd annual competition bearing Morris’ signature at the bottom as president. A current check of the WSA website reveals some changes. Morris is now absent among a slate of current officers and listed as one of the former presidents with the year of his term listed as 2013. Intriguing is that Morris’ letter to the members about the recent show has been replaced with another document listing requirements. It’s missing Morris’ previous statement about “copies or likenesses of another’s work (i.e. painting, drawing, photograph, digital image or print),” and “artwork derived from any published source” being strictly prohibited. Photo/The Compleat Studio More curious is the aforementioned bylaws also say in Article Four, Section C the president and other officers have two-year terms. Yet Morris is listed as a for- A Bill Morris watercolor displayed at The Compleat mer chief executive along with 21 others who apparently served one-year terms. Studio is suspected to be a reproduction of a piece Article Five goes on to say “elections shall be held at the annual meeting.” It’s not apparent how that would work with ostensible two-year terms. by Oakland, Calif. artist Karen Frey (inset). Elsewhere on the web, Morris’ disputed work appears in some auspicious places. A May 29 photo on the Facebook page of Orange Beach’s The Com- pleat Studio shows a wall decorated with Morris paintings. One of those featured is the painting of the cat that Oakland artist Karen Frey said she created before it was copied by Morris from a magazine. Both works were also shown in our June 11 issue. Another Morris painting he called “Little Big Mountain” won Best of Show at the Tallahassee Watercolor Society’s 23rd Tri-State Juried Water Media Competition that ran May 16 though July 3. Morris compatriots Phyllis Henson and Susan Howell have both displayed nearly identical paintings; Henson even used the same title and won Best In Show at the Watercolor and Graphic Arts Society’s show of 2012.

Robertson in heady Simon and Chekhov company Keeping everyone in stitches mash-up at Theatre 98

Local artist and studio owner Brad Robertson was selected as one Learn to Knit The Good Doctor of the year’s top new artists by Arts Where: Mobile Public Library, Ben May Where: Theatre 98, 350 Morphy Business News (ABN) who selects Main Branch, Armbrecht/Briskman Ave., Fairhope 50 artists for the annual recognition. Meeting Room, 701 Government St. When: July 24-27, 30 & 31, Aug. 1-3 Robertson’s work was featured in When: July 17, 9:30 – 11 a.m. ABN’s summer issue. This third play of the 2014 season has a pair of Not only is Robertson in the print There’s a wealth of American artistic tendencies parents as Neil Simon took short stories by Anton edition but his work “Portersville Bay expressed in mediums of textile and string. They tie Chekhov and blended them together into this II” is featured on the ABN website. together not just artists and fans but families, communi- Tony Award-winning “play with music.” Since Robertson explains, “my trademark is ties and generations. Now you can get started in that its successful start 40 years back, it’s also been a texture and bold color combinations. direction yourself with a little gumption and a lot of television movie and played stages abroad. My two main compositions are the practice. The play opens with a blocked writer who landscape and portal. And red paint – The Mobile Public Library has enlisted Ms. Wilhe- introduces the audience to various characters every piece has it somewhere.” mina Davis to get you started on the road to embroi- such as an overzealous but unseasoned dentist, an The two-part series highlights 25 dery, quilting and sewing. actress unsteady about an audition, a father taking in the summer version and 25 in the Participants need to bring their own supplies. What’s his son to a house of ill repute and a theater patron autumn issue. A digital version of recommended are size 10, 10-inch long needles and a 7 with an voluminous sneeze, in every respect. the entire print issue is available by oz. skein of regular, worsted weight yarn. Evening showtimes are 8 p.m.. Sunday mati- downloading an app at www.artbusi- The class is free but registration is encouraged. nees are at 2:30 p.m. nessnews.com. Please call 251-340-8571 or go to www.mplonline.org. Tickets are $18, $12 for students.

Band: Peter Frampton and The Doobie Brothers Date: Saturday, July 19, 8 p.m. Venue: The Amphitheater at The Wharf, 4673 Wharf Parkway, Orange Beach www.theamphi- theateratthewharf.com Tickets: $16-$71 available through Ticketmaster

he Doobie Brothers ruled the airwaves in the 70s and beyond with hit songs such as “China Grove,” “Listen to the Music” and “Black Water.” Over the years, the group has continued to release new material and tour steadily. TCurrently, they are preparing for the release of a collaborative effort with some of country music’s biggest names lending vocals and instrumental talent to the Doobie’s best material. Lagniappe caught up with guitarist and vocalist Tom Johnston to talk about this exciting project.

SC: You know, you can’t really listen to radio these days without hearing at least one Doobie Brothers song. What do you think Photo/Jeremy Denton/doobiebrothers.com it is about your music that still finds a place with modern listeners? TJ: It’s a hard question to answer. We’ve been very fortunate The Doobie Brothers set at the The Wharf July 19 will include songs “people will be familiar with.” that we’ve had radio support for our music for years. That’s been great, and it’s been extremely helpful in many ways. As far as company about a year and a half ago, I guess. Then, we were singing. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know (laughing). how the songs have withstood the tests of time, the recipe for that, approached by David Huff (Hunter Hayes, The Band Perry) in a That’s the way it is. Here are the people who are on the album to me, is something that is hooky that for some reason sticks in hotel room. We were on the road, and he came and visited us. He though. We got Brad Paisley, Blake Shelton, Zac Brown Band, people’s minds. In a lot of cases, I know people come up to me came to us with the idea, and everybody thought it would be a cool Toby Keith, Chris Young, Charlie Worsham, Sara Evans, Jared often and say that a song got them through a rough time, or they thing to do. We had never thought of that ourselves. At the same Nieman, Amanda Rivera and Love & Theft. As far as people who associate it with their college years. They associate it with sometime, we didn’t know there were people in the country genre that played on the album, we have Vince Gill and Dann Huff, who thing that they did in their lives. It could big, or it could be small. were fans of the band. He thought it would be a really great idea are both phenomenal guitarists. Dann is an incredible producer as It could have been fun, or it could have been a drag. Some guy for us to pair together with a bunch of big names in country music. well. He does Keith Urban’s albums and a lot of other people that went into the Vietnam War, and our music helped him get through It was all driven by Gary Overton at Sony. It turns out that he’s I’m not aware of. Hunter Hayes does some guitar work on it. It’s it. It could be some gal that says that she got married listening to a big Doobies fan. The first concert that Gary ever went to was a quite the lineup. We were kinda blown away that these folks would our songs. They all have something in common in that something Doobies concert in 1972 in Phoenix, Ariz. He’s been the driver be interested in jumping on board with us, but they were eager to that touched their lives is associated with a song. behind promoting this through the company and getting it done do it. that way. SC: You’re on the road with Peter Frampton. A lineup like The David produced the album. The artists picked the tracks. It’s a SC: Is there a title for the album? Doobie Brothers with Peter Frampton is such a classic arena rock best-of, if you will, but it’s re-done by incredible Nashville players TJ: I can give you the title! The name of the album is ‘Southbound.’ lineup. What’s it like being on the road with this tour? in the studio, who were incredibly good and fast. We had three TJ: I think it’s great. We’ve actually toured with Peter before. guitar players going at one time, and Michael McDonald playing SC: When can the public expect it? The gigs have been going well, and musically, it’s been going keyboard on his tunes. So, we would go in and cut the track using TJ: It’s due out Nov. 4. It’ll be on the Sony label. I think it may great. His music and our music is not synonymous in that it sounds one or two takes, and it was done. It had guitars, drums, bass and be Arista who are pushing it. just alike, but they’re not very far apart either. Peter has written pedal-steel, and it was phenomenal. I’ve never done anything like some classic tunes himself. I think he’s also the possessor of the that before, and I was just blown away at how efficient and good SC: What can the crowd expect from your set in Orange Beach? fourth biggest selling live album ever. I think people have a lot of they were. Then, we had the artists themselves come in. Most of TJ: It’ll be a conglomerate of stuff from ‘72 through 2010. In songs between the two bands that they listen to and they go, ‘Oh the time, we weren’t there to witness their performances. I was in this case as co-headliners, our set is 75 minutes long. So, we’ve wow! I was doing this when this song came out,’ like we were L.A. when Blake Shelton did his performance. I got to see Chris had to cut down on the tunes. It’ll include songs that people will be talking about. I think that’s all good. He’s also a really nice guy, so Young do the vocal on the song he did. So, it’s been an interest- familiar with. You have to play those, unless you want people up- it helps. ing project and having heard the results, I have to say that I am set. Because of the time limitations, we can’t do everything, so we pleasantly surprised. try to give them a good cross-section of everything. It’s really been SC: You’ve been in the studio with this collaborative effort that a great set, and people have been responding to it well. We’ll have you’ve done with some notables from country music. How did this SC: Can you give us a preview of which artist is doing what song? a good show, and Peter puts on a great show. All the way around, project come about? TJ: I can give you a preview except for the songs that they’re it’ll be a great event. TJ: The project itself was started and stopped with another

fter fake lineups and leaked lineups bone Shorty & Orleans Avenue will deliver made the rounds earlier this month, the a brassy blast of New Orleans funk and jazz. list of performers scheduled to play Canada’s Magic! will travel to the Gulf Coast to “Alabama’s Largest Music Festival” was deliver a batch of reggae-infused tunes. Aofficially released July 11. BayFest 2014 will The 2014 BayFest crowd will get a ton of feature a cavalcade of excellent entertainment rhythm and soul with the return of Earth, Wind from across the musical spectrum. Celebrating and Fire. Closet freak CeeLo Green will defi- its 20th anniversary, organizers carefully sifted nitely get things funky. Hip-hop icon Ludacris through the past two decades of artists to bring has once again been added to the BayFest lineup. back some of the festival’s most memorable Soulful diva K Michelle will woo the crowd with bands. Additionally, they have also confirmed her sweet sounds and Bone, Thugs-N-Harmony quite a few newcomers to perform on the streets is guaranteed to be a crowd pleaser with their of downtown Mobile Oct. 3-5. trademark hip-hop flow. Rock fans can expect everything from Country is always a big part of BayFest alternative to metal. Self-proclaimed “American and this year will be no exception. In fact, the Badass” Kid Rock is bringing his versatile sound inclusion of country legends Alabama could be that pulls from styles ranging from hip-hop to one of the biggest additions to the 2014 lineup. country. Stone Temple Pilots will be making They will be joined by new-school country acts their third BayFest appearance. However, front such as Brantley Gilbert, Frankie Ballard and man Scott Weiland has been replaced by Linkin Thompson Square. Country fans should be most Park’s Chester Bennington. Foster the People excited to know that Blackberry Smoke will be will be there to entertain the “kids with the performing at this year’s festival. Their southern pumped up kicks.” rock take on country has put them in a category The queen of garage rock Joan Jett and her all their own. Blackhearts will be making their second appear- Local talent is always a big part of the ance at BayFest. Post-hardcore punk outfit AFI festival. Regional bands on this year’s line-up will be making their BayFest debut as well as include Dennis Nelson, Kristy Lee, Shawna P, metal masters All That Remains. Local favorite Gretsch Lyles & the Modern Eldorados, The Pop Evil will also be returning to Azalea City to Mulligan Brothers, WORX, Cathercist, The Ben perform at BayFest. Jernigan Band and 2 Major Twinz. For those looking for something a little more Weekend passes are $60 and on sale now eclectic, BayFest 2014 will be more than happy on BayFest’s website and at Circle K locations to provide. After a successful performance at across Mobile. A limited number of daily passes Hangout Fest this year, singer-songwriter Amos will be sold at the gate. Stay tuned to Lagniappe Lee will be returning to the Gulf Coast. Trom- for more BayFest news. Photo/(Top) kidrock.com, (Left) thealabamaband.com, (Right) joanjett.com

32 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 Fishing rodeo reels in a soundtrack BY STEPHEN CENTANNI/MUSIC EDITOR | [email protected]

Band: Rodeo Weekend Music Festival Date: July 17-20 Venue: Venues and stages across Dauphin Island Tickets: Free

he Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo is adding a little music to the mix with the Rodeo Weekend Music Festival, an event that will include musical performances at free outdoor stages and venues across the island. The Rodeo Weekend Music Festival includes a long list of talented musical Tacts that will be performing daily. However, there are several groups that festival- goers will not want to miss. The “Liar’s Contest” will highlight Thursday evening at Rodeo Headquarters. Afterwards, Alabama’s big daddies of “newgrass,” Rollin’ in the Hay, will take the stage. Friday, singer-songwriter Leland Clay is scheduled to perform at Mack ‘n’ DD’s at 4 p.m. Clay is a true master of his craft and his audiences cannot resist infectious songs such as “Zwi Do Be Da” and unique ballads such as “Vampira.” Rondale and the Kit-Katz are scheduled for the West End Stage on Saturday at 4 p.m. With her unique brand of rock, Rondale’s audience is sure to fall in love with her beautifully penned original works. Festival-goers will want to finish out their weekend with a Sunday performance from Markus Fox at JT’s Sunset Grill at 1 p.m. With his guitar in hand, Fox brings his audiences a lineup of homegrown country.

Photos/(left) rollininthehay.com| Rollin’ in the Hay, (right) lelandclay-myoo-zik.com| Leland Clay

Peacock struts back to OGD Mixed bag at Alchemy Band: Great Peacock Band: Engine, The Glass Jars, Mr. Clit & the Pink Cigarettes Date: Saturday, July 19, 7:30 p.m. Date: Saturday, July 19, 9 p.m. Venue: Callaghan’s Irish Social Club, 916 Charleston St., www. Venue: Alchemy Tavern, 7 S. Joachim St., 441-7741 callaghansirishsocialclub.com Tickets: $8 at the door Tickets: $8 at the door ashville’s Great Peacock has made great friends with the regulars in the OGD. Over repare for a lineup made up of a musical mixed bag of bands that will step the years, Callaghan’s has hosted the beloved band as they have grown beyond the wide across the spectrum of sound. Engine will be travelling from northwest boundaries of the Southeast. Louisiana to entertain the masses at Alchemy Tavern. This group has crafted Blount Floyd and Andrew Nelson are at the foundation of this earthy musical their own brand of rock that pulls from a variety of sources. Some songs are Nproject and finding their muses in classic country and folk, fill their songs with plenty of twang Ptinged with ragtime overtones, while others delve into the Capricorn sounds of the and harmony. However, they have also taken their homespun qualities and interwoven them with 1970s. elements of complementary rock. Birmingham’s The Glass Jars bring a batch of rock ‘n’ roll that pulls inspiration from In 2013, Great Peacock released a five-song, self-titled EP on the This Is American Music label. ‘90s alternative rock outfits such as The Pixies and Cowboy Junkies. Vocalist/guitarist’s It quickly began to gather an army of listeners as Floyd and Nelson found themselves performing Shawna Ross’ haunting vocals are carried by polished instrumentation. at SXSW and on “CMT Edge Live” Mr. Clit & the Pink Cigarettes are the wild card in this lineup. Hailing from India- In late 2013, Great Peacock released their new single “Tennessee.” On March 14, Nelson posted napolis, Davey Gravey, Ayesha Clarissa and Abby Hart will deliver a vehement taste of on the band’s official website that the band had been busy tracking their first full-length album, but some of the dirtiest punk sounds in existence. Each song is an onslaught of organized didn’t mention an official release date. Hopefully, Great Peacock will regale their OGD fans with chaos that will embrace the eardrum before annihilating it. some new material.

Photo/Great Peacock/Facebook| Great Peacock Photo/The Glass Jars/Facebook | The Glass Jars

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 33 AREA MUSIC LISTINGS JULY 17 - JULY 23

LeaAnne Creswell Trio, 6p//// Rollin’ in the Wranglers, 10p//// Hurricane Warning, 10p//// McSharry’s— Trad Irish Session, 6:30p THURS. JULY 17 Hay, 6p//// Jon Cowart, 8p//// Dallas Moore & Fatty Waters, 10:30p Old 27 Grill— Melissa Joiner, 11:30a Baumhower’s (OBA)— Jerry Powell, 6p the Snatch Wranglers, 10p//// Hart Break Hill, Garage— Viridian Sons Tacky Jacks (Causeway) — Phil and Bill’s by the Beach— Ray Big Dog, 6p 10p//// Diamond Hitch, 10:30p Hangout— Jamie Bergeron and the Kick Foster, 3p Bimini Bob’s— Ric McArthur, 6p Hangout— Jamie Bergeron and the Kickin Cajuns, 7p// Shiny Objects, 11p Tacky Jacks (Gulf Shores) — Alvarado Blues Tavern— Al & Cathy, 8:30p Cajuns, 7p// Foxy Iguanas, 11p Hard Rock (Center Bar)— Mojiles, 9p Road Show, 5p Celtic Irish Pub— David Lynn Trio Hard Rock (Center Bar)— Mojiles, 9p IP Casino— Mickey Gilley, 8p Tacky Jacks (Orange Beach) — Jonesy Compleat Angler (The Wharf)— Jay Laps— Zach Chavers Laps— Gabe Willis Gambino, 11a// Mel Knapp Duo, 6p Williams, 6p Legacy— Jimmy Lumpkin Legacy— Joey Abruscato and the Low Veets— Emily Stuckey & Brett LaGrave, 7p Dahlia’s Electric Piano Hall— Scott Live Bait— Grand Theft Audio, 10p Maintenance Trio Windmill Market— Stufy Summers, 11a Morlock, Gene Murrell & David White Lulu’s— The Nashville Gang, 6p Live Bait— Grand Theft Audio, 10p Felix’s— Grits N’ Pieces McSharry’s— DJ Demps, 10p Lulu’s— The Nashville Gang, 6p Flora Bama— Gove Scrivenor, 3p// Sam MON. JULY 21 Moe’s BBQ (Mobile)— Harrison McInnis, 6:30p McSharry’s— DJ Demps, 10p Bill’s by the Beach— Sara Percy, 5p Glass, 5:30p/// Mark Sherrill & Friends, 6p//// Moe’s BBQ (Daphne)— Brett LaGrave Band Moe’s BBQ (Mobile)— Allie Logan, 6:30p Brian Hill Duo, 10p//// Hung Jury, 10p//// Felix’s— Brittany Grimes Old 27 Grill— Them Again, 6:30p Moe’s BBQ (Daphne)— Yellowhammer Diamond Hitch, 10:30p Garage— Meacham Motor Company Pinzones— Pat McCann Productions, 8p Hangout— The Investments, 6p// Ellux Hangout— Cornbred, 6p// Adam Holt Band, Tacky Jacks (Causeway) — Grits N’ Old 27 Grill— Neil Dover, 6:30p// Scott 10p Furor, 10p Pieces, 8p Albert Johnson, 6:30p Hard Rock (Center Bar)— Mojiles, 8p Hard Rock (Center Bar)— Tomplay, 8p Tacky Jacks (Gulf Shores) — Jimmy Lee Pinzones— James Green Duo Lucky’s Irish Pub— Marcus, 8p Hard Rock (Live)— Tesla, 8p Hannaford, 12p// Alvarado Road Show, 6p Pirates Cove— West Side Players, 7p Hungry Owl— Phil Areceneaux, 5p Lulu’s— Brent Burns, 6p Tacky Jacks (Orange Beach) — Shiny Tacky Jacks (Causeway) — Them Again, 8p Windmill Market— Grifters & Shillis, 11a Legacy— Ryan Balthrop Objects, 6p Tacky Jacks (Gulf Shores) — Alvarado AREA MUSIC LISTINGS | Live Bait— Grand Theft Audio, 10p Traders— Midnight Ramblers Road Show, 6p Lulu’s— CoConut Radio, 6p TUES. JULY 22 Tropics— Harvest, 8p Tacky Jacks (Orange Beach) — Lee McSharry’s— Kyle & Karl, 7:30p Butch Cassidy’s— Tony Chapman Veets— The Family Jewels, 9p Yankie, 11a// Mickey Springston Duo, 6p Cockeyed Charlie’s— Matt Neese & Moe’s BBQ (Daphne)— Yellowhammer Windmill Market— Harrison McInnis, Traders— Al & Cathy Productions, 8p Mario Mena 11a// Mitch Johnston, 6p Tropics— Roger Fleshman Duo, 7p Pinzones— Amy True and John Cochran Felix’s— Bobby Butchka Veets— The Family Jewels, 9p Hangout— Banditos, 6p// DJ Sremba, 10p Traders— The Lizards The Wharf— Peter Frampton & the Saenger— Travis Tritt, 7:30p SAT. JULY 19 Hard Rock (Center Bar)— DC Lane, 8p Baumhower’s (OBA)— Tyler Champion, 6p Doobie Brothers, 8p Hungry Owl— Grant & Bayne, 5p Soul Kitchen— Aaron Lewis, 6:30p Wind Creek Casino— Josh Turner, 8p Veets— Troy Brannon, 8p Bill’s by the Beach— Lisa Zanghi, 6p Lulu’s— Adam Holt, 6p Bimini Bob’s— Jerry Powell, 6p Windmill Market— Erik & Elise, 11a BLUEGILL— Matt & Sherry Neese, 6p FRI. JULY 18 Blues Tavern— Funk Monkey, 9p WED. JULY 23 Baumhower’s (OBA)— Double D, 6p SUN. JULY 20 Baumhower’s (OBA)— Mike Eagan, 6p Callaghans— Great Peacock Baumhower’s (OBA)— Justin Fobes, 6p Bimini Bob’s— Greg Brown, 6p Bill’s by the Beach— Destiny Brown, 6p Celtic Irish Pub— The Volks and Castoffs Bill’s by the Beach— Lisa Zanghi, 6p Bimini Bob’s— Greg Brown, 6p BLUEGILL— Ross + 1, 6p Cobalt— Meacham Motor Co., 5p Bimini Bob’s— Tony Bowers, 6p Blues Tavern— Al & Cathy, 8p BLUEGILL— Soulshine, 6p Compleat Angler (The Wharf)— Greg BLUEGILL— Peek, 6p Blues Tavern— Rock Bottom, 9p Callaghan’s— Deluxe Trio Brown, 6p Blues Tavern— Art & Blu Lu, 5p Celtic Irish Pub— Mike Celtic Irish Pub— Marlowe Ramirez Courtyard @ 311— Soulshine Callaghans— (Live from Avalon)Lee Yankie Cockeyed Charlie’s— Special Delivery Band Cockeyed Charlie’s— Gregg Fells Dahlia’s Electric Piano Hall— Scott & the Hellz Yeahs Compleat Angler (The Wharf)— Jay Compleat Angler (The Wharf)— Tyler Morlock, Tony Edwards & David White Compleat Angler (The Wharf)— Champion, 6p Williams, 6p DeCuba— Jim Armstrong, 8p Destiny Brown, 6p Felix’s— Brandon Bailey Courtyard @ 311— Raising Karma Felix’s— Blind Dog Mike Felix’s— Brandon Bailey Dahlia’s Electric Piano Hall— Scott Flora Bama— Jezebel’s Chill’n, 1p// Troy Hangout— Jay Williams Band, 6p// The Perry Morlock, Tony Edwards & David White Garage— Harrison McInnis Brannon, 1p/// J. Hawkins & James Daniel, Wall, 10p Hangout— Banditos, 6p// Ellux Furor, 10p DeCuba— Glass Joe, 8p 2p//// Jack Robertson Show, 5:30p//// Hart Hard Rock (Center Bar)— Tomplay, 8p Felix’s— Rebecca Barry Trio Hard Rock (Center Bar)— DC Lane, 8p Break Hill, 6p//// LeaAnne Creswell Trio, 6p//// Lulu’s— Greg Brown, 1p// Blind Dog Mike Legacy— Brent Loper Flora Bama— Troy Brannon, 1p// Johnny Sam Glass, 8p//// Dallas Moore & the Snatch and the Howlers, 6p Barbato, 2p/// Jack Robertson Show, 5:30p//// Lulu’s— The Deluxe Trio, 6p

SENd YoUR MUSIC LISTINGS To [email protected]

34 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 AREA CLUB LISTINGS

[DOWNTOWN] Serda’s Coffee Company www.papaspizza.com 24281 Perdido Beach Blvd. 1175 Battleship Pkwy. |621- www.serdas.com 28850 US Hwy 98| 626-7662 974-1612 8988 Alchemy Tavern 3 S. Royal St. Plow [Fairhope] Lulu’s at Homeport Marina alchemy.joltpro.com 415-3000 96 Plantation Pointe| 410-7569 www.lulubuffett.com Trader’s 7 S. Joachin St. | 441-7741 Skyview Lounge The Pub 200 E. 25th Ave. 4015 Battleship Pkwy The Blind Mule Atop the Lafayette Plaza 311 Fairhope Ave. | 928-2032 251-967-LULU 626-5630 57 N. Claiborne St. | 694-6853 301 Gov’t St.| 694-0100 Ravenite Pizzeria [Fairhope] Pink Pony Pub [Gulf Shores] Boo Radley’s The River Shack Soul Kitchen 102 N. Section St. | 929-2525 www.pinkponypub.net www.booradleysmobile.com 6120 Marina Dr. S. www.soulkitchenmobile.com Rosie’s Grill and Record Bar 137 East Gulf Pl. | 978-6371 276 Dauphin St. | 432-1996 (under Dog River bridge) 219 Dauphin St. |433-5958 [Daphne] Pirate’s Cove [Elberta] The Brickyard 443-7318 Spot of Tea’s Jaggers www.rosiesgrill.com www.piratescoveriffraff.com 266 Dauphin St. | 473-4739 VFW Post 7320 [Saraland] 310 Dauphin St. | 375-6772 1203 U.S. 98|626-2440 6600 County Rd. 95| 987-1224 Buck’s Pizza 244 Old Telegraph Rd. |679-1188 Studio 5’4 Windmill Market [Fairhope] Tacky Jacks www.buckspizza.com Whiskey Blues [Theodore] 216 Dauphin St. | 725-0406 www.windmillmarket.org www.tackyjacks.com 350 Dauphin St. | 431-9444 5791 Swedetown Rd.|633-1769 T.P. Crockmiers 85 N. Bancroft St. | 517-5444 [Orange Beach] Cabo Cantina Zebra Lounge 250 Dauphin St. | 476-1890 27206 Safe Harbor Dr, |981-4144 225 Dauphin St. | 441-7685 2343 Dauphin Island Pkwy. Veet’s [WESTMOBILE] [Gulf Shores] Callaghan’s Irish Social Club 473-2997 www.veetsbarandgrill.com All Sports Bar & Grill 249 E. 24th Ave.| 948-8881 www.callaghansirishsocialclub.com 66 S. Royal St.| 694-3090 3408 Pleasant Valley Rd. [Gulf Shores] 916 Charleston St. | 433-9374 345-9338 1577 Alabama 180|968-8341 [CASINOS] Dalhia’s Electric Piano Hall Beau Rivage [Biloxi] [MIDTOWN] Billiards Club The Handlebar [Pensacola] AREA CLUB LISTINGS | MUSIC 258 Dauphin St. | 378-5025 Ashland Midtown Pub 4130 Gov’t Blvd.|447-2132 www.handlebarpensacola.com www.beaurivage.com Dauphin St. Blues Company www.ashlandmidtownpub.com Midnight Rodeo 319 N. Tarragona St.| 434-9060 878 Beach Blvd.|228-386-7111 & Draft Picks 2453 Old Shell Rd.| 479-3278 7790 Tanner Rd., Ste. B|639-2222 The Wharf [Orange Beach] or 888-595-2534 564 Dauphin St. | 725-6429 Blues Tavern Cockeyed Charlies 4985 Wharf Pkwy.| 224-1000 Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Firehouse Wine Bar Shop www.bluestavern.com 6920 Aitport Blvd.|725-1112 [Biloxi] 216 St. Francis St. | 421-2022 2818 Gov’t Blvd. |479-7621 Crooked Martini [AROUND AND ABOUT] www.hardrockbiloxi.com Gabriel’s Downtown Butch Cassidy’s Cafe www.thecrookedmartini.com Bill and Charlie’s [Theodore] 777 Beach Blvd. 55 S. Joachim St. | 432-4900 www.butchcassidys.com 7639 Cottage Hill Rd. #C |633-5555 11470-B Bellingrath Rd.|973-0388 |228-374-ROCK (7625) The Garage 60 N. Florida St. |450-0690 Flashback Club Blue Gill Restaurant Harrah’s Hotel & Casino 9 S. Washington Ave. | 433-2223 Kimberly’s Midtown Bar 10071 Airport Blvd.| 634-2239 www.bluegillrestaurant.com [New Orleans] Grand Central 2660 Old Shell Rd. |478-1477 Jag’s Sports Bar & Grill 3775 Battleship Pkwy. |625-1998 www.harrahsneworleans.com grandcentralmobile.com Mellow Mushroom 5602 Old Shell Rd.| 725-1102 Bottoms Up 228 Poydras St.|504-533-6000 256 Dauphin St. | 432-6999 www.mellowmushroom.com Mellow Mushroom 2605 Halls Mill Rd. | 287-7781 Grand Casino [Biloxi] Hayley’s Downtown 2032 Airport Blvd. |471-4700 www.mellowmushroom.com Briar Patch 278 Dauphin St. | 433-4970 www.grandcasinobiloxi.com Royal Knight Restaurant 5660 Old Shell Rd. | 380-1500 9371 Dauphin Island Pkwy. Joe Cain Café 280 Beach Blvd. 3004 Gov’t Blvd. |476-6044 Moe’s Southwest Grill 973-1120 26 N. Royal St. | 338-2000 228-436-2946 Silver Horse Pub www.moes.com Burnout’s Bar & Grill [Saraland] Liquid IP Casino Resort & Spa 151 S. Florida St. |478-7030 280 McGregor Ave. S.| 342- 5233 7151 Hwy 158 W | 679-9255 661 Dauphin St. | 432-0109 [Biloxi] Whistle Stop Bar & Grill Royal Knight Celtic Irish Pub [Pascagoula] Loda Bier Garten www.ipbiloxi.com 110 S. Florida St.|478-7427 3004 Gov’t Blvd.| 476-6044 4901 Chicot St. | 228-938-6800 251 Dauphin St. | 287-6871 850 Bayview Ave. Patches Ed’s Seafood Shed Mobile Civic Center 800-436-3000 [EASTERN SHORE] 5100 Girby Rd.| 661-8028 www.edsshed.com www.mobilecivicctr.com Wind Creek Casino Bay House Pub [Daphne] Satori Coffee House 3382 Battleship Pkwy. | 625-1947 401 Civic Center Dr. | 208-7261 www.windcreekcasino.com 28850 Bayline Dr. | 626-0158 www.satori-coffee.com Felix’s Fish Camp O’Daly’s Irish Pub 303 Poarch Rd., Atmore Club 44 [Daphne] 5460 Old Shell Rd. | 344-4575 www.felixsfishcamp.com 564 Dauphin St.|725-6429 866-946-3360 28850 US 98, #100 | 445-8069 Runway Billards 1530 Battleship Pkwy. |626-6710 OK Bicycle Shop Compleat Angler [Daphne] 8000 Airport Blvd. | 634-8006 Mississippi Coast Coliseum 661 Dauphin St. |432-2453 29249 U.S. 98 | 621-1086 The Hungry Owl [Biloxi] [NEW ORLEANS] Pat’s Downtown Grill Fly Creek Café [Fairhope] 7899 Cottage Hill | 633-4479 www.mscoastcoliseum.com House of Blues 271 Dauphin St. | 438-9585 www.theflycreekcafe.com Stir Mobile 2350 Beach Blvd. |228-594-3700 www.houseofblues.com Riverview Plaza (Fathoms 831 N. Section St. | 990-0902 5821 Old Shell Rd., Ste. D | 342-9995 The Oar House [Dauphin Island] 225 Decatur St . Lounge) Guy’s Gumbo Shack VFW Post 49 1504 Bienville Blvd.| 861-4800 |504-310-4999 64 S. Water St.| 438-4000 www.guysgumbo.com 2528 Govt Blvd. | 471-9438 Original Oyster House Howlin’ Wolf Royal Scam 212 Fairhope Ave. | 928-4100 www.theoysterhouse.com www.thehowlinwolf.com/new- www.royalscammobile.com McSharry’s [Fairhope] [THE BEACH] 3733 Battleship Pkwy. |626-2188 orleans 72 S. Royal St.|432-SCAM (7226) www.mcsharrys.com Flora-Bama Pelican Pub & Restaurant 907 S. Peters St. Royal Street Tavern 101N Brancroft St. |990-5100 www.florabama.com [Dauphin Island] 504-522-WOLF (9653) 26 N. Royal St. | 338-2000 Moe’s Original BBQ [Daphne] 17401 Perdido Key Dr., 1102 DeSoto Ave.| 861-7180 Louisiana Superdome Saenger Theatre www.moesoriginalbbq.com 850-492-0611 Pelican Reef Restaurant www.superdome.com www.mobilesaenger.com 6423 Bayfront Pk Dr.|625-7427 The Hangout 11799 Dauphin Island Pkwy. 1500 Poydras St. |504-587-366 6 S. Joachim St. |208-5600 Old 27 Grill [Fairhope] www.thehangoutal.com | 973-2670 Tipitina’s Saddle Up Saloon 19992 Hwy 181 | 281-2663 101 Gulf Ct. | 948-3030 Tacky Jacks [Spanish Fort] www.saddleupmobile.com www.tipitinas.com Papa’s Pizza [Daphne] Live Bait www.tackyjacks.com 9 N Jackson St. 285-4596 501 Napoleon Ave. www.livebaitrestaurant.com

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 35 THE REEL WORLD/MOVIE REVIEW | FILM ‘The Selfish Giant’ is beautifully devastating BY ASIA FREY/FILM CRITIC | [email protected]

“The Selfish Giant” is a beautiful, adults hammers every scene home; profound, perfectly acted film about we never get a moments’ respite two vulnerable young English boys from a less authentic character, alas. and the havoc life wreaks upon them, Siobhan Finneran, who played the that features everything to recom- evil maid O’Brian on “Downton mend it, but I can’t say you should Abbey,” is particularly haunting; watch it, because it is so unbearably just seeing her scuttle back in her sad that you’ll be completely sorry darkened house upon her drunken you started it. husband’s commands breaks your AREA The bleak and gritty setting starts heart without a word. THEATERS you off down the path of despair, No, this movie is so well-execut- with meticulously rendered portraits ed that we are made to believe, to of dismal family life in two different, our endless despair, that we are re- Mobile equally depressing households. If ally inhabiting the bleak and dreary you have kids, you’ll feel extra bad, world of impoverished families, County whether you’re in the tense, single as Arbor and Swifty try to earn parent household of Arbor, a thin hy- some cash by collecting scrap for peractive little boy with a criminally a morally suspect junk man named CarMike involved drug addled teen brother, “Kitten.” They gather various aban- CineMas or in the “pikey” household of the doned metal, but the “bright wire” Wynnsong 16 more sensitive Swifty, one of seven copper is where the money is, and 785 schillinger road s. extremely poor kids teetering on the that must typically be stolen. 251-639-7373 brink of starvation. Gentle, intuitive Swifty garners The flawlessly realistic perfor- favor from Kitten through his skill CresCent mances convince the viewer utterly with his racehorse, leaving Arbor of true suffering onscreen, particu- even wilder and more desperate than theater larly of the foul-mouthed young boys. ever. I won’t ruin the ending for 208 Dauphin st. 251-438-2005 Don’t try to comfort yourself that it’s you, but let’s just say no one earns Photo/imdb.com | “The Selfish Giant” just a movie; these little fellows are a college scholarship. It’s a beautiful, too real. Then, the relentless quality devastating story that I hope never to Conner Chapman plays a “too real” role as the eager but rejected hollyWooD of the supporting cast of cruel, sad see again. Arbor in “The Selfish Giant,” streaming and on DVD now. staDiuM 18 1250 satchel Paige Drive neW in theaters noW PlayinG 251-473-9655 balDWin County rave Motion PiCture Jubilee

Photo/ imdb.com | “How To Train Your Dragon 2” square 12 6898 u.s. highway 90 DAwn oF The PlAneT oF how To TrAin your Daphne The APes DrAgon 2 251-626-6266 all listed multiplex theaters. all listed multiplex theaters. eArTh To echo 22 JuMP sTreeT CarMike all listed multiplex theaters. all listed multiplex theaters. CineMas TAMMy The FAulT in our sTArs 23151 Wharf lane Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike orange beach Wynnsong 16, Carmike Jubilee Wharf 15 251-981-4444 Square 12, Eastern Shore Premier eDge oF ToMorrow Cinema 14 Regal Mobile Stadium 18 Cobb Photo/ imdb.com |” Begin Again” Deliver us FroM evil MAleFicenT Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike all listed Multiplex theaters theatres Begin AgAin Wynnsong 16, Carmike Jubilee BlenDeD PinnaCle 14 3780 Gulf shores Pkwy There’s nothing else worth going to Photo/ imdb.com | “Sex Tape” Square 12, Eastern Shore Premiere Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike at the movie but this film; even the Cinema 14, Carmike Wharf 15 Wynnsong 16, Carmike Wharf 15 Gulf shores popcorn movies look extra bad lately. 251-968-7444 sex TAPe A married couple wakes up TrAnsForMers: Age oF But this, from the writer and director x-Men: DAys oF FuTure to discover that the private video they of “Once,” stars Mark Ruffalo and Kei- exTincTion PAsT made has gone out to everyone they eastern ra Knightly in a soul-stirring comedy all listed multiplex theaters. Regal Mobile Stadium 18 know. All listed multiplex theaters. set to the sound track of a summer Jersey Boys goDzillA shore in New York City. Can you say “date Carmike Jubilee Square 12, Carmike PreMiere MonTy PyThon live Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike night movie”? Crescent Theater. Wharf 15 Wynnsong 16, Carmike Jubilee CineMa 14 (MosTly) exPerience “think like a Man too” Square 12, Carmike Wharf 15 30500 state highway 181 Monty Python’s long-awaited reunion PlAnes: Fire & rescue Regal Mobile Stadium 18, Carmike cheF spanish Fort His racing days over, Dusty (Dane as it is broadcast live to movie the- Wynnsong 16, Carmike Jubilee Carmike Wharf 15 251-626-0352 Cook) joins a team of firefighting air- aters nation-wide. Sunday July 20, Square 12, Eastern Shore Premiere craft. ” All listed multiplex theaters. Regal Mobile Stadium 18. neighBors Cinema 14 Regal Mobile Stadium 18 Information accurate at press time; please call theaters for showtimes. 36 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 MEDIA FRENZY | MEDIA AL Political Reporter thinks Hubbard should prepare for prison

BY ROB HOLBERT/MANAGING EDITOR | [email protected]

s the investigation into Alabama Speaker of the House of who did the research. While I am happy to see the informa- and our Gulf Coast community,” Dan Mason, Program Director Mike Hubbard rolls on, Bill Britt, editor of Alabama tion being published it is disturbing to see how some in the of Lite Mix 99.9 and NewsRadio 710 WNTM, said in a press Political Reporter seems to think it’s time for him to media have allowed Hubbard and his attorneys to spin the facts release. start preparing for life behind bars. And he also says the without asking the most basic follow-up questions. On the other side of the equation, WNSP is left trying to fill Astate’s media needs to pay more attention to a corruption inves- “But, for the most part, the media has not paid a great deal of programming time it has counted on for two decades. Director tigation he believes may be the biggest in Alabama history. attention to public corruption since the Republicans took control of Operations and programming, Tim Camp, said the change Britt’s July 7 column, entitled “So, You’re Going to Prison?” of state government in 2010. was unexpected given the years USA had worked with the sta- offers Hubbard and fellow Rep. Barry Moore some safety tips “At this point, I think most in the media are playing catch- tion. via a book by William Mulholland, who himself spent 21 years up. I have been investigating this story for almost two years “Because there had been no negotiations, after 20 years it behind bars. Mulholland’s book — “Prison Etiquette” — offers so there is a learning curve and I think everyone will get there feels like we’ve been blindsided,” Camp said. helpful hints for those who don’t want to get shanked. eventually.” He hopes to soon have announcements about how they will As Moore has already been arrested in the probe and faces As for whether Britt received any feedback from either fill the programming time. a stiff prison sentence if convicted, such tips as not walking Hubbard or Moore in regards to his prison advice, he said they across a freshly mopped floor, walking the right way down halls stopped talking to him two years ago. Headline hell explained or remembering to say “excuse me” after bumping into some- “Our organization has been threatened, we have lost adver- Last week I wrote about a headline on al.com that had raised one might come in handy. tisers and there have been numerous times that Hubbard and the ire of many for its insensitivity. Britt suggests in his column that Moore and Hubbard may his allies have tried to have our Statehouse press credentials The headline read, “Guntersville men faces (sic) charges not be cut out for prison life. revoked. So, no Hubbard and Moore do not make comments of rape, sodomy after assaulting, then — literally — ditching “Men like Moore and Hubbard have led soft lives of privi- to us. I have been told that they say plenty about us, but I don’t intoxicated girl.” lege and they are not conditioned to endure the strict code of think it is fit for publication. The one thing they have never A few things about the headline led me to believe it probably conduct that rules the dark world of the state prison system,” he done in public is deny the facts that APR has reported,” Britt was designed as “clickbait” that would attract online hits, but an wrote. said. apology issued by the writer after we went to press suggests it Asked about why he feels they need this advice, Britt said APR’s reporting can be checked out at http://www.alre- was more mistake than maliciousness. We included the apology it’s the time he’s spent covering this story. porter.com. online over this past week, but thought it would only be fair to “For almost two years, I have led an investigation here at include it in this issue. APR into possible criminal activities perpetrated by Speaker of USA changes radio partner The following was written by Kay Campbell, an al.com the House Mike Hubbard and his associates. APR has published Jaguar football, baseball and basketball will be called on a reporter, and appeared on the Bewildered in Alabama Facebook over 60 articles chronicling what we believe may be illegal different part of the radio dial it was announced Monday, and page, which deals with all things Press-Register and al.com: activities involving embezzlement, bribery and use of public that will also mean a change behind the microphone for the first “Hello all: I am the reporter who wrote the headline that has office for personal gain,” he wrote via email. “The investiga- time in 35 years. been so, I’m afraid, fairly maligned. As a writer, I have no ex- tion into possible criminal wrongdoing by Hubbard has already According to USA’s athletics department, Lite Mix 99.9 cuse for not hearing how that headline would be received — but led to the conviction of disgraced former State Rep. Greg (WMXC-FM) will be carrying Jags football on Saturdays for what I hope everyone understands (but I’m not sure how, now Wren, R-Montgomery and the arrest of Rep. Barry Moore, R- the next three years, while USA’s men’s basketball and baseball that I hear how others perceive it) — is that I wrote the head- Enterprise, who is facing serious jail time if convicted on four games and all coaches’ shows will run on NewsRadio 710 line, actually, out of anger at the situation (I was also trying not felony counts of making false statements to a grand jury and (WNTM-AM). to use too many words in the headline — which is a technical perjury. Speaker Hubbard has been named in both indictments, This brings an end to a 20-year relationship between WNSP, consideration, but it figured into how I attempted to compress which leads me to believe we have been right all along in our 105.5-FM, and a 35-year relationship between Lee Shirvanian the information). investigation.” as the play-by-play man for Jags basketball and baseball. He has “Treating a person of any age, but somehow particularly Further, Britt said Lee County Circuit Court Judge Jacob also handled the first five years of Jags football. Rick Cleveland a teenager, with such extreme disrespect and cruelty just Walker III recently revealed in a court filing that Hubbard is who handled color commentary for football also will not return. burned me up — and the last thing I meant to do was to write a central in a Lee County public corruption investigation. J.D. Byars will take on play-by-play for football, while Pat headline that could in any way increase that cruelty, rather than “While our legal system is certainly imperfect and far too Greenwood will handle color commentary. Both were recently become part of the chorus of outrage that would seek to protect many times weighted toward the wealthy and well-connected, I hired by the school when it formed Jaguar Sports Properties. her. Please forgive me. I don’t like to learn lessons that may still believe that in this situation justice will prevail,” Britt says. Michael Brannon will work sidelines for the broadcasts as well, have cost anyone else pain (and I hope this is not the case for As for how Alabama media in general are handling these it was announced. her in this situation — perhaps she, too, will see that I join her stories, Britt hasn’t been too impressed. The school hasn’t yet announced which announcer will in a deep sense of anger over this), but I am always trying to be “It has been disappointing to see how some of the larger handle baseball and basketball broadcasts. both a better writer and reporter — and, for that matter, a better media outlets have handled the coverage of the investigation The change gives Jaguar football broadcasts a greater reach, person. into Hubbard and his associates. as the station carries a 100,000-watt signal. “Sincerely, Kay Campbell, reporter for Alabama Media “We have spent months compiling exhaustive state records “This partnership is a natural for us. Many of the great Group from The Huntsville Times. P.S. Feel free to castigate me to document possible public corruption, only to see our work people who work here at Clear Channel Mobile are USA alumni even more thoroughly and personally directly at KCampbell@ copied almost verbatim without so much as a cursory mention and fans, and we’re all excited to bring the games to Jag Nation AL.com, if need be.”

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 37 C O E

DAupHin STREET VAulT Aaron Stadium, 755 Bolling Brothers Blvd. Olympics Night. Opening pitch at 5:05 p.m. WHEn: July 19; 10 a.m. till 10 p.m. Tickets available online at www.milb.com/ WHERE: lower Dauphin Street, along the Jackson to tickets. Y 23, 2014 Joachim Street block Open Studio Come enjoy complimentary mimosas as The Dauphin Street Vault brings vaulters of all levels to compete in the artists work at the Cathedral Square Gallery, Port City. A full day of high-flying fun on Dauphin Street along the Jackson 612 Dauphin St. There will also be works to Joachim Street block! The fun starts at 10 a.m. with the elite division, by more than 60 area artists on display. For featuring Olympic caliber vaulters will begin around sunset. For more more information call 251-694-0278. information about DSV 2014, visit their website at www.dauphinstreetvault. com or look them for them on Facebook and Twitter. July 21 Photo/Dauphin Street Vault Ballroom Dance The Moonlight Chasse Ballroom Dance Society hosts dance classes with professional instructors at 7 p.m., followed Y 17, 2014 - JU l July 17 July 18 by dancing from 7:30 to 10 p.m. Admission Musical: Oliver Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo July 19 is $10. There will be a cash bar and no need The Greater Escambia Council for The 81st Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Dauphin Street Vault to bring a partner. Beginners are welcome. the Arts is presenting the musical Rodeo will be held July 18-20, with the The Dauphin Street Vault brings Fitzpen Place, 11247 State Highway 31, masterpiece “Oliver!,” a musical weigh station operating from 10 a.m. vaulters of all levels to compete in the Spanish Fort. For more information, email | JU l adaptation of Charles Dickens’s – 7 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and Port City. A full day of high-flying fun Cassie Fishbein at [email protected]. classic tale, “Oliver Twist,” at 100 from 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. on Sunday on on Dauphin Street along the Jackson South Trammell St. in Atmore. Shows Dauphin Island. The ADSFR is a 3-day to Joachim Street block! The fun starts July 22 are at 7 p.m. Thursday through Captain’s Choice tournament and a at 10 a.m. The elite division, featuring Free Children’s lunch Saturday, July 17-19, and at 2 p.m. on Southern Kingfish Association (SKA) Olympic caliber vaulters, will begin The Springhill Avenue Community Center’s Sunday, July 20. Tickets are $10. For sanctioned event. The total awards around sunset. For more information Summer Lunch Program offers a free, more information call 251-368-6397. package is valued up to $1 million in about DSV 2014, visit their website at nutritious lunch for children in need. 11 f EVEnt S cash and prizes and anchored by two www.dauphinstreetvault.com or look a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Monday-Friday at 1151 O Kids Days in Bienville boat, motor, and trailer packages. The for them on Facebook and Twitter. Springhill Ave. Call 251-438-7415 for more Bring the kids out for some three-day event features 30 categories information. summertime fun in downtown Mobile with prizes awarded for 1st, 2nd and Saturday Art Workshop ar at Bienville Square, 150 Dauphin St. 3rd place in all categories. One Master Art workshop for teens! Frances line Dancing Enjoy live entertainment, arts and Angler is also awarded along with cash Fontaine will be leading an art class for The Springhill Avenue Community Center crafts and visits from the Dauphin prizes for King Mackerel, Speckled teens 13 years and older. Come join hosts line dancing every week throughout Island Sea Lab, the Mobile police Trout and Big Game Jackpots. Live the summer fun and paint your own the summer. Mondays 4:30-7 p.m., and fire departments and much more! music and food are also available at masterpiece! Each student will leave Wednesdays from 5-7 p.m. and Tuesdays Admission is free and events start various venues on the island. with an 11-by-14 finished painting. All and Fridays from 10 a.m.-noon. Classes are Cal E n D at 10 a.m. supplies are included in the $45 class free and open to all ages. 1151 Springhill Mobile BayBears fee. Ave. Thursdays at the Museum The Mobile BayBears versus the Every Thursday from 10 a.m. - 9 Chattanooga Lookouts at Hank Aaron Market on the Square July 23 p.m. the Mobile Museum of Art, 4850 Stadium, 755 Bolling Brothers Blvd. Vendors will be selling locally Mobile BayBears Museum Drive, offers free admission A-E-I-O-U ‘90s Night. Opening pitch produced tomatoes, potatoes, sweet The Mobile BayBears versus the Pensacola to all visitors. Join MMOA each week at 7:05 p.m. Tickets available online at corn, cantaloupe, watermelon, Blue Wahoos at Pensacola Bayfront to experience the museum in new and www.milb.com/tickets. seafood, flowers, plants, baked Stadium, 351 W. Cedar St. Pensacola. exciting ways throughout the year. No breads, pastas, casseroles, pies and Opening pitch at 6:30 p.m. Tickets available reservations necessary. Spirit Expeditions handcrafted goods, plus live music online at www.milb.com/tickets. The Haunted History Tour in downtown and much more. The market is open Market on the Hill Mobile is a two-hour walk on Church each Saturday at 7:30 a.m. through Tour Space 301 An outdoor market of locally grown and Government streets, visiting such July 26 on Cathedral Square in Tours of the Main Gallery and Fabrication produce, locally harvested seafood, sites as Church Street Cemetery and downtown Mobile. Organic produce is Hall are every Wednesday and Saturday, homemade soaps and more is held Fort Conde. You can hear some of available. 11:30 a.m. and 3 p.m. at the Centre for at Lavretta Park on the corner of Old Mobile’s dark, macabre, strange and the Living Arts/Space 301, 301 Conti Shell Road and Parkway Street West unusual stories from the past and not July 20 St. Tours included with the price of from 2-6 p.m. every Thursday. so distant past. Tours may be booked Mobile BayBears admission. Call 215-208-5671 or visit at www.spiritexpeditions.com for every The Mobile BayBears versus the www.centreforthelivingarts.com for more Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. Chattanooga Lookouts at Hank information.

Send your eventS to [email protected]

lready certified by the Guinness Book of World Records and scholarships. as the largest tournament of its kind, it would have to take “We want the anglers to take home their groceries,” Fox said, something really special to get the attention of organizers at “but we want the scientists to look at them first.” the Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo. The fishing actually got started last weekend with the 56th annual AThe recent announcement by state officials of an extension of Roy Martin Young Anglers Tournament, an event open to those 15 the red snapper season in Alabama waters – just in time for the 81st years and younger. Proceeds went to the annual Children’s Christ- annual competition – was such an event. mas Shopping Tour, a program sponsored by the Mobile Jaycees “Absolutely,” tournament president Gene Fox told Lagniappe. that assists in buying gifts for disadvantaged youth. “A lot of people involved with recreational fishing are excited by the Festivities for the ADSFR start at 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, July news.” 17, with the Bayou Rum Liar’s Contest at the rodeo site on Dauphin The ADSFR, a project of the Mobile Jaycees, typically attracts Island. All rodeo ticket holders are eligible to participate. The event Photo/Outdooralabama.com more than 3,000 anglers, who compete in 30 categories for approxi- is free and open to the public. Live music by the band Rollin’ in the mately $500,000 in cash and prizes. The tournament begins Friday, Hay will follow. A month-long extension of the red snapper season July 18, and concludes Sunday, July 20. The entry fee for the open “There is plenty to do and see during the weekend,” said Fox, in state waters corresponds with the 2014 ADSFR. competition is $40 per angler. whose group expects more than 70,000 spectators. “We have “Even before the red snapper news, our registration was already partnered with the town of Dauphin Island, and they are putting Mandatory captain’s meetings and sign-out for all boats entered set up for a great year,” said Fox. ‘Now we are looking at a spec- on a music festival. There will be 30 acts at 13 locations all over in the Raymarine Big Game Jackpot ($250 per boat), Pronto King tacular year. There is a lot of interest, and a lot of great prizes to give the island for four days, and it is all free. There is something for Mackerel Jackpot ($200 per boat) and the optional cash prize divi- away.” everybody.” sions are set for Thursday from 6 to 8 p.m. The meetings will be at In response to the red snapper extension, rodeo officials have Fishing will officially begin Friday at 5 a.m., and will conclude the ADSFR site on Dauphin Island and at J&M Tackle in Orange added a special award category for the species. Three winners will Sunday at 5 p.m. The weigh stations will operate from 10 a.m. to 7 Beach. Anglers unable to attend either meeting must sign-out at the be picked through random drawings of all anglers who enter a legal p.m. on Friday and Saturday, and from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Dauphin Island site by Friday at 5 a.m. red snapper during the tournament. Fox said what makes the ADSFR special is that any participant The awards ceremony will take place Monday, July 21, at the Rodeo ticket holders will be allowed two entries per day. can be a winner. Greater Gulf States Fairgrounds in West Mobile starting at 6 p.m. Participants must agree to allow each fish to be briefly examined “Guys with the biggest boat and biggest fish don’t win every- The idea for the ADSFR was first conceived in 1928 by a group for research by the University of South Alabama’s Department of thing,” he said. “Any angler who weights a legal fish in any of the of local businessmen – including the first rodeo president L.G. Ad- Marine Science. 30 categories is in the running for a 21-foot Contender boat with a ams Sr. – during a fishing trip on Mobile Bay. The Jaycees took over “Getting the red snapper category back is most important,” Fox Yamaha motor and trailer. leadership in 1948. In addition to the University of South Alabama, said, “because we had a 20-year data stream with USA, before it “Another popular event is the speckled trout jackpot. Anyone Fox said also benefiting from donations are the American Cancer was cut off the last three years. We hope this will fill in the gap, and who enters a legal speckled trout can win a Carolina Skiff 18-foot Society, Dauphin Island Elementary School, the Billfish Foundation we can see what is going on in the Gulf (with red snapper).” JVX with a Yamaha motor and trailer.” and the Children’s Christmas Shopping Tour. Leading the research for USA and the Dauphin Island Sea Lab The speckled trout jackpot will remain an angler ticket ($25), For additional information on the rodeo, rule changes and jackpot are Drs. Bob Shipp and Sean Powers. Fish will be promptly returned rather than a boat ticket, to better accommodate kayak anglers. awards, visit www.adsfr.com or call 251-471-0025. A lineup for the to anglers following a scientific examination. Over the last 10 years, Other special jackpot categories cover king mackerel, tuna, dolphin, music festival can be found online at townofdauphinisland.org. the rodeo has donated more than $200,000 toward marine research wahoo and swordfish.

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 39 40 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1- ___ having fun yet? 6- A single time 10- Pole, for one 14- Sherpa’s home 15- Shed tears 16- ___ Alto 17- Pong maker 18- Author ___ Stanley Gardner 19- Environmental sci. 20- Becoming obsolete 23- Situate 27- Donkeys 28- “East of Eden” brother 29- Small three-legged table 34- Type of sanctum 36- Former Russian rulers 37- Future fish 40- In spite of 43- Hot time in Paris 44- Repeat rhythmically 45- Fuel transport 46- Bodily organ 48- That’s ___! 49- ___ Picchu 7- Emperor of Rome 54-68 39- Heron, usually white 53- Soundless 8- Red or white, in the 41- Howe’er 55- Renowned blood 42- Old phone buttons? 60- Wine sediment 9- Foil alternative 47- Baton Rouge sch. 61- Fury 10- Glasses, briefly 49- Distance runner 62- Atlas feature 11- Shoe ties 50- Olds model 67- Periods 12- Unaccompanied 51- Lucid 68- English public school 13- Battery units 52- Impudent girl 69- People and places, 21- Wager 54- Of Thee ___ e.g. 22- Declines 56- Family portrait? 70- Actor Calhoun 23- Singer Cleo 57- Appraise, charge per 71- Architect Saarinen 24- Ready ___... unit 72- Ancient tongue 25- Type of artist’s crayon 58- Aviation pioneer 26- Again Sikorsky DOWN 30- Patriot Allen 59- Vintner’s prefix 1- Actress Alicia 31- Orgs. 63- Neither’s partner 2- Not emp. 32- Singer LaBelle 64- Bring civil action 3- Ecol. watchdog 33- Man-mouse link against 4- Armed conflict 35- Gaping grin 65- Vane dir. 5- Marner’s creator 37- Lunar valley 66- Disapproving sound 6- Is in the red 38- ___ a million Answers on Page 44

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 41 STYLE Local grads adapting to find jobs in the workforce BY CHELSEA ARCHEY/CONTRIBUTING WRITER

nother academic year has ended and Mobile has back home to get the required experience. and so does this town. Especially coming from big cities, I produced a fresh crop of thousands of college gradu- “I never wanted to leave Mobile in the first place so I had really just like the feel of Mobile,” Ryan said. “This is a real ates. They may join millions of twenty-somethings been applying for jobs in Mobile the entire year and a half family-friendly kind of place and I like that about it.” nationwide looking to land even a part-time job in in Dothan,” Haynes said. “I actually applied for my job at Ryan is currently the Director of Communication at Little Atheir area of study, but many of Mobile’s grads haven’t found Springhill Medical in October, but they didn’t have an open- Flower Catholic School and is working on the new Spanish it as difficult as may be portrayed. ing until April … I was in Dothan that whole time until they curriculum. He hopes to stay in Mobile for at least a couple Mobile native J.T. Crabtree accepted a part-time job with (Springhill) had a position available for me.” more years while working on his doctorate degree. the University of South Alabama Athletics Department upon Haynes now works on the pediatric floor at Springhill While Alabama has an alarmingly high unemployment rate graduating in May. Medical Center and thanks her nearly two years of work of 6.8 percent according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, “I was still in school and Pat Greenwood of (South’s) experience in her hometown for the opportunity. She plans to Mobile County seems to have a grasp on the eager college athletic department emailed me and asked me to call him. stay in Mobile for many more years and continue working at grads looking for employment. We started talking and he offered me the job two days later,” Springhill. Mississippi resident Hannah Adkins, also graduated from Crabtree said. Local teacher Andy Ryan was placed in Mobile by the USA in December 2013 with a bachelors degree in Fine Arts. Crabtree completed his bachelor’s degree at USA majoring University of Notre Dame two years ago. “One question people asked toward the end of college was, in communication and will begin working in the fall. “Right “I received my bachelors at St. Edward’s University in ‘Well, what are you going to do with an art degree?’ They now I am hired on for football and I’m hoping that after Austin, Texas. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in English usually followed that with a smirk,” Adkins said. “I chose this football season I’ll be hired to work all the other sports,” he writing and rhetoric. My senior year I applied to the Master’s degree because I wanted to do something different with my said. “I am totally comfortable staying here in Mobile. For of Education program at the University of Notre Dame,” he life.” years I have always said I wanted to work with USA’s Athlet- said. “The master’s program is what actually brought me to Adkins’ goal upon graduation was not to necessarily stay in ics Department and it just worked out really well that when I Mobile. You sign up for the program and you have to agree at Mobile, but to definitely continue her passion for art some- graduated they started their own broadcasting division…” the same time to teach at the school they assign you.” where by working in an art museum or teaching. Not everyone is being offered a job as quickly as Crabtree, After completing his required two years at Little Flower “But the closer I got to graduation those jobs started to though. Dothan native Amanda Haynes moved to Mobile in Catholic School this past May, Ryan accepted a teaching job seem like they would be a boring nine-to-five job,” she said. order to complete her dream of a nurse’s degree and begin back in his hometown of Austin. “I wanted a job where I would have a little freedom and working in the pediatric floor of a local Mobile hospital. “I had already decided to go back to Austin, but it didn’t would do something different everyday.” “I completed my clinicals at USA Medical Center in the necessarily seem like the right fit the more I thought about it,” Due to the lack of variety art seemed to offer in careers, children’s hospital in December of 2012, but when I got done Ryan said. “I ended up having to call back and regrettably tell Adkins decided to look elsewhere. there wasn’t a job for me.” them that I wouldn’t be able to accept their teaching job this “I believe because of my faithfulness to God he set plans Haynes spent the next five months applying to every hospi- year.” into motion that gave me my first job as a personal assistant tal in Mobile, only to be told she didn’t have enough experi- Despite the pay difference in Austin and Mobile that to two real estate agents in Mississippi just one month after I ence or to hear no response at all. brought Ryan to laughter, he simply explains that he stayed in graduated,” Adkins said. “That assistant job lead me to pursue “Even though they knew I was a brand new graduate they Mobile because of the small town feel and connections made. a career in real estate, which is my dream job,” Adkins said. still wanted the experience that I didn’t have. I had to move “I feel like there’s just a lot that Little Flower has to offer “Its a job where I will do something different everyday.”

42 | LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 THE LOADED QUESTION

Which celebrity do people tell you that you look like? Asked All Around toWn

“People used to say I looked like the Pepsi girl from the ‘90s.”

-Melissa

“ some people say that I favor taye diggs.”

-danti

“I get rihanna and sometimes Alicia keys.”

-Courtney

LAGNIAPPE | July 17, 2014 - July 23, 2014 | 43 PORT CITY PREMONITIONS | STYLE Capricorn calls a truce, visualizes whirled peas BY DR. ZODIAC/ASTROLOGY GUY

Cancer (6/21 – 7/22) - You will finally get Capricorn (12/22 – 1/19) - You’ll feel con- some exercise next weekend, running from an ciliatory after a temporary cease-fire is brokered angry bull. The bull in question will escape from between Israel and Hamas. It came at a good time, the traveling petting zoo. You will disregard your because your own Iron Dome defense was starting significant other’s suggestion and wear that red to show some weakness from a constant bombard- shirt with the hole in the collar, which will lead to ment. Regardless, you’re ready to bury the hatchet sadness. Even at a full-on sprint, the bull will con- because the tension between you and a neighbor nect a horn with your butt cheek. The good news had reached its greatest heights sho-far. is you will not be without a doughnut the rest of the week. The bad news is it’s the other type of Aquarius (1/20 – 2/18) - The 2014 Nappie doughnut. Awards ceremony is quickly approaching and anxiety is shooting through the roof. You don’t Leo (7/23 – 8/23) - You’ll dust off the old Kid have the perfect outfit with just the right amount Rock sleeveless T-shirt after you catch a glimpse of swag and perhaps more importantly, you don’t of the 2014 Bayfest lineup. Even though a series have a date. In hopes to solve the conundrum, of streaking incidents has left you banned from you’ll send vague, passive tweets at the person entering Bonaroo, The Hangout and several other you’re certain will win the “DJ Whose Voice live music venues, it’s likely you’ll be able to slide Leads You to Believe You May want to See Na- under the radar at Alabama’s largest music festi- ked” category. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when val. With only a few months left until the music you receive a tweet back. Let’s just say you’ll starts downtown, you’ll need to get a jump-start definitely turn heads when you both show up to on picking out the perfect “incognito” disguise. the Saenger Theatre in your birthday suits. Always remember, sometimes more is less. Pisces (2/19 – 3/20) - The current state of your Virgo (8/24 – 9/22) - An upcoming trip to love life, or lack thereof, will soon force you to the dentist will yield a remarkable discovery. turn to the world of online dating. You’ve always The typical, and usually uneventful annual teeth said you’d “never do that,” but let’s face it, you’re cleaning will reveal you have a fifth wisdom pretty needy these days. Once you realize all your tooth. But, remember, this doesn’t actually make other options have been exhausted, you’ll give you smarter. In fact, you’ll refuse to get the tooth in and create accounts on OkCupid, Tinder and removed just so you can rack up on narcotic pain Plenty of Fish. You’ll miraculously take a better- pill prescriptions. Your doctor will oblige at first, than-average selfie that even surprises yourself, but eventually he will cut you off, the pain will and a ridiculous number of messages will quickly become unbearable and surgery will be your only fill your inbox. Alas, an attractive, self-proclaimed option. I hope you enjoy pureed foods – especially pastor’s kid with hipster glasses will catch your potatoes. eye, but you’ll quickly discover the encounter won’t be anything close to a “Christian Mingle.” Libra (9/23 – 10/22) - Facing withdrawal symptoms from the absence of the World Cup, Aries (3/21 – 4/19) - Your frustration with city you goooooooo down to the sporting goods traffic will boil over next week when yet another store to peruse the selection of soccer balls. An tractor-trailer gets stuck in the Bankhead Tun- impromptu match breaks out in the aisles, with nel. While you rage, your mind drifts to thoughts yourself and the employees on one team, taking of a cartoon roadrunner once again fooling Wile on a group of youthful illegal aliens who recently E. Coyote by painting a tunnel on the side of a crossed the border. The foreigners take an early plain brick wall. You will giggle to yourself as lead but the match is called after a militia forms you picture a coyote driving the stuck truck. The in the firearms department and flushes the illegals thought of the cartoon will have you Jonesing for out. some Frosted Flakes. You will immediately decide to ditch your car and walk home to satisfy your Scorpio (10/23 – 11/21) - Taking a page from craving. LeBron James’ playbook, you’ll try to negotiate FROM PAGE 41 a new contract with your boss this week. You’ll Taurus (4/20 – 5/20) - You will get detained have plenty of time to iron out the reasons you at airport security after your very loud sneeze aren’t the “The King” while cleaning out your sounds like a terrorist threat. You will plead with desk. Maybe making a “What should I do?” tape the TSA agent to let you out of airport jail and try F and showing it during the staff meeting was the to explain that you only have a bad cold and you U final straw, but then again it could have been your are actually terrified to fly because of the threat of refusal to stop covering your hairline with sweat- terrorism. The agent almost lets you go when your T bands. Either way, you aren’t likely to hear back phone rings out your favorite song by The Gap U from HR or Nike anytime soon. Band. That’s why no one has ringtones anymore. R

Sagittarius (11/22 – 12/21) - While trying to Gemini (5/21 – 6/21) - You’ll strike it rich at E kill a few minutes at lunch, you’ll make the mis- the pawnshop, where Katherine Webb and AJ Mc- take of dropping by the local animal shelter. There Carron’s wedding party have already hawked their you’ll encounter a heap of trouble after setting all personal gifts from the union. Yes, the groomsmen S of the puppies loose and encouraging them to lick were awarded gold-plated Casio wristwatches and H your face as you lay on the ground yelling “stam- ball caps with the word “SWAG” in a graffiti font. pede!” and giggling. To avoid jail, you’ll make The bridesmaids lucked out with silver belly but- O a deal with the director to clean the cat cages for ton chains and gift cards to a spa and tattoo parlor. C a week. After an hour of that, you’ll give up and You and your girl will be living like redneck K report to the county lock up for processing. millionaires.

edding bells and possum tales! What more could you possibly want from a gossip column? Oh, a Hugh Playing (with a) possum Hefner sighting and a make-up wanting mutt? Well, Heff on LoDa? It seems one OGD resident had an unexpected visitor last week you got it, my friends. Grab yourself a delicious cold Aspiring “bunnies” were hop- when a baby possum decided to take up residence in her kitchen. Wcocktail. Go ahead, go grab one. Oh wait - what I am saying? I ping all over LoDa after hearing A neighbor let the terrified resident borrow a trap – apparently know you. You already have a cocktail in your hand. Well then, the word that Hugh Hefner was possums are pretty common in the garden district. But when the go right ahead and dig on into this delicious dish. It makes a cruising down Dauphin Street last trap did its job, much to her dismay, she found no one was around perfect accompaniment to your adult beverage of choice. Bon Thursday with a lovely lady on to help her get the critter into her car so she could go release it in a appetit! his arm. But the “Xcitement” was location described as “waaaaay away” from her house. short lived, as it was soon revealed After being terrified for hours, she did what anyone would do, it was just an impersonator hired she put on a yellow poncho and rubber gloves and grabbed an Royals wed in OBA to judge the bikini contest at Xcite old Jay York campaign sign and very carefully got it outside. She I’m sure you may have heard a little something about some Club & Lounge that evening. No said the baby possum looked “forlorn” yet “vicious.” I’m pretty couple who may have gotten hitched in Orange Beach last word on if the fake Heff was able sure that’s the first time the word “forlorn” may have been used to weekend. You would think it was Prince William and Kate describe a possum, but I suppose it’s pretty apt. to stay up late enough to fulfill renewing their vows or something but no, just a former Crimson Though she chose removal and relocation, she said we was given his judging duties or which bikini Tide football player and his beauty queen/reality TV star/fast many suggestions on what to do with it, from calling the Environ- bod he chose. But we’re thinking food hamburger advertising/swimsuit model bride. But I guess mental Studies Center to being given recipes for possum stew to Photo/Boozie Spy probably a big boobed blonde. Just in Alabama, that is pretty darn close to royalty. So yes, it’s of- putting it an a large bag and tying it to a running car’s exhaust pipe a guess. ficial. Former University of Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron and euthanizing it (WTF?). One sensitive soul suggested murdering and Katherine Webb tied the knot at Orange Beach Methodist it and stuffing it for her mantel. People are crazy. Anyway, after the whole incident she said she was suffering Church, certainly breaking Brent Musburger’s heart. A reception from PPD, post possum depression and she had sought the help of a was held at The Wharf. A mutt named Murphy needed a makeover therapist. One spy said they had koozies with his football helmet and A couple living off Sage Avenue was worried sick when their sweet male pup named Murphy went missing. After a day or two We can report no forlorn possums were injured or killed during number on it and her Miss Alabama sash. But it did at least read this episode. “on to the next chapter,” so it seems they aren’t too stuck in their with no luck in finding him, a neighbor told them they had seen glory days. At least not yet. the dogcatcher in their area recently. So they went to the animal Anyway, I am told Under Armour treated AJ and his grooms- shelter and sure enough Murphy was there. Just asking? Which local official who attended the Chamber’s leadership men “really well,” and they should be all set on gear for a while. When they asked the shelter staff where they had found him. They said, “funny story, he was in the make-up department at trip to St. Louis fell asleep while the mayor of St. Louis was giving No stupid NCAA rules to worry about now! Also, the after party a speech? We heard the mayor was even able to hear snoring … Belk.” Somehow he had made his way to Bel Air mall and inside was just as fun as the reception as just a close group of friends classy! hung out into the wee hours of the morning. the doors and up to the make-up counter before anyone saw him. Well, we certainly wish the happy couple all the best! What Perhaps Murph just needed a new look? We are happy to hear he Well kids, that’s all I got this week. Just remember, whether rain Saban hath joined together, let no man put asunder! was happily reunited with his owners. Maybe he needs a treat – or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ possum stew perhaps some mascara? lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!

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