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July 2018 Lifeline

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July 2018 Lifeline July 2018 Volume 42, No. 7 RESPONSIBILITY DECLARATION : I am responsible when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there, and for that I am responsible. A.A. Oldtimers…On the Seventh Step A.A. Grapevine, May 1945, Vol. 1 No. 12 "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." We all know that it is God's will that we live clean, wholesome lives; that we think clearly and be- come persons of honest decision. This we know we cannot do until we become our real selves, so, in desperation, we alcoholics revert to prayer. We humbly ask God to remove our shortcom- ings; to restore us to our natural selves, so that we may think clearly on our problems. Emerson says, "None will ever solve the problem of his character according to our prejudice, but only in his own high unprecedented way." Character is undoubtedly accumulative, and in removing shortcomings it stands to reason that we are striving to build character. This can be done by observing our errors, and, one at a time, correcting them on the spot. We have already accepted this "Power greater than ourselves" as a reality. Something to which we can pray, expecting to receive help. So now we ask for courage to look at our shortcomings honestly. To recognize them for what they really are, and not what we might wish them to be. What are some of our shortcomings? Let us list just a few: 1. Excessive drinking. 2. Resenting help. 3. Resenting the good fortune of others. 4. Defending ourselves when we know we are in the wrong. 5. Jealousy and envy of all kinds. 6. Shunning responsibility. Through the grace of God we have found A.A., which teaches us that we are sick people and that alcohol in any form or amount is out. So we stop drinking. That takes care of our number one problem. We must be willing to accept help of all kinds without resentment. This takes a little time, as we are the world's most sensitive persons. We know too well that we have neglected all of our tal- ents and abilities for alcohol, and we have terribly guilty feelings, made more acute by persons who are already in better circumstances than we are. Nevertheless, we learn to suffer our hurt feelings and start building a constructive, happy life. (continued on page 2) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org (con’t) Defending what we call our "pride" is one of the most difficult shortcomings to remove. Many of us have thought of pride as something virtuous, something to be honored. Well, what have we left, we who are humbly seeking help, that we can put on exhibition as virtue? Often we cannot actually put our finger on anything in our make-up of which we are really proud. So we break down our false pride, and exchange it for humility. The most beautiful art in the world is simple, with few lines, little fuss and complications. So we try being simple for a change. Just plain honest simplicity. We look for the best in our fellow man, "Pardon the wrong in him; hark to the song in him." By accepting God's help, we learn to think clearly; to play fairly; and to give generously. Elizabeth W. - Boston, Massachusetts On June 4th, 2018, the Sunday Beginners Meeting moved to 4 PM and is now a ‘Living So- ber’ meeting, based on the Living Sober text. This is a home group meeting seeking group members, so please join us! We still meet in the same space: Good Samaritan Church DON’T MISS OUT - GREAT 20850 Langley Rd. Lexington Park, MD MEETING NEEDS SUPPORT! (Small brick building: lower-level food pantry) What is humility? What can it mean to us? The avenue to true freedom of the human spirit. Necessary aid to survival. Value of ego-puncturing. Failure and misery transformed by humility. Strength from weakness. Pain is the admission price to new life. Self-centered fear chief activator of defects. Step Sev- en is change in attitude which permits us to move out of our- selves toward God. Twelve Steps and Traditions HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH HUMILITY? SHARE IT WITH US!!! SEND YOUR STORIES TO : [email protected] SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 2 HUMILITY AND THE 7TH STEP Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Many in recovery regard the 6th and 7th Steps as evidence of the program’s divine inspiration, for when the book Alcoholics Anonymous was written only two short paragraphs were devoted to these Steps. None of the contributors had been sober more than a couple of years at the time. They lacked the experience to ap- preciate the real value of these steps. But by the time Bill W. wrote Twelve Steps and Twelve Tradi- tions several years later, he had enough sober living under his belt to understand their importance and to give both Steps their due. In the Big Book, the 7th Step is described as scarcely more than just one short prayer, known to many today as the 7th Step Prayer: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my useful- ness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as, I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.¹ But the 12&12 devotes eight pages to this Step. After characterizing humility as the essence of the 7th Step, it goes on to say that “the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of A.A.’s Twelve Steps.”² Rejecting the common misconception of humility as “a condition of groveling despair,” it de- scribes humility as the key to attaining “true freedom of the human spirit” as well as serenity, strength, and character. And it specifies that “the desire to seek and do God’s will” is the essential ingredient of humility, without which we may never find relief from our most crippling and painful shortcomings. It seems impossible for us to surrender completely to God’s will until we have seen and accepted the truth about ourselves, free from the delusions of both self-flattery and self-loathing. How could we possibly seek to give up a character defect or shortcoming that we fail to recognize as a fault, or cannot admit we possess? Thus we see that humility is the essence of the 7th Step, for it’s only the lack of humility that enables us to convince ourselves that, say, arrogance is just “healthy self-esteem” . or that predatory sexual behavior is nothing more than “a natural sex drive.” Similarly, regarding ourselves as too flawed to be fixed is nothing but reverse pride. Learning to see ourselves accurately is a consequence of the self-examination that starts with Step 4. It’s seldom easy to face unflattering truths about ourselves. We must overcome the ego-protecting tendency to deny, distort, or minimize our failings before we can acknowledge them to our inner- most selves and learn to accept ourselves exactly as we really are. Some of us have a hard time with this because we’ve learned to be harshly judgmental of ourselves and others. If so, we’re likely to confuse beating ourselves up for the sort of clear-eyed honesty the Step requires to be most effective. Others fear the harsh judgment of a vindictive God. They cannot face certain painful truths until (continued on page 4) SOUTHERN MARYLAND INTERGROUP 1-800-492-0209 www.somdintergroup.org 3 (continued from page 3) they surrender their dysfunctional beliefs and learn to understand God as forgiving and unconditionally loving toward them. The important thing is that we not give up but keep working to be- come ever more honest and accepting of ourselves, acknowledging both our strengths and our weaknesses. The 7th Step, like the 6th, is not one that we are ever likely to do “perfectly.” Yet there is much to be gained by persistent effort, peeling away layer after layer of our old selves as we work the Steps again and again. And each time we recognize another troublesome attitude or behavior and surrender it wholehearted- ly as expressed in the 7th Step Prayer, we get to grow a bit more in humility. Most of us experience this attitude of complete open surrender to God’s will when we first work through the Steps, at least briefly, even though we might not recognize it as humility at the time. However, as we grow more accustomed to sober living, we often begin to take our new way of life for granted. We become complacent and lackadaisical about the continuous step work necessary to keep growing spiritually, and we lose the enthusiasm of discovery that propelled us through the Steps the first time. Thus we put ourselves at risk for relapse. This is why repeated application of the 7th Step is so important: First, for our sobriety, because when we stop actively seeking humility, we start feeding our egos . and once we break out in a rash of self-will, a return to drinking usually follows (or gambling, or eating, etc.). Second, for the sake of our continuous spiritu- al growth, because when we stagnate spiritually, we stop being helpful to others – families, friends, col- leagues, and communities – and without that deeper purpose we deprive ourselves of the richest rewards life has to offer.
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