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W, Davy, Esq., SoLildern, TUFTS UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES 3 9090 014 548 867 About Buying a Horse OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS.—I. ^^5 LONIJON : BKADBUKy, AGNEAY, & CO., PRINTERS, WHITEFRIARS HAPPY THOUGHT— To dedicate this Volume, containing some account of ''The Horse and Stamps," to my Friend JAMES D. DAVISON, Esq., whose Notes on Notes are of wide-world circulation, and who did me the honour to be much interested in my search after a Horse. Ramsgate, T875. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. PAGE ABOUT THE PURCHASE OF A HORSE I CHAPTER II. STILL BENT ON THE PURCHASE OF A HORSE—PLANS . lO CHAPTER III. TO BOULOGNE AND BACK, ON BUSINESS, FOR A DAY OR TWO, WHILE KIND FRIENDS IN ENGLAND ARE LOOK- ING OUT FOR A HORSE FOR ME I9 CHAPTER IV. FROM BOULOGNE TO FOLKSTONE—BY NIGHT . 28 CHAPTER V. RETURN TO ENGLAND— SEARCH FOR HORSE RECOMMENCES. 36 CHAPTER VI. " ON THE TRACK . 44 1 viii CONTENTS. CHAPTER VII. PAGE AFTER THE HORSE — THOUGHTS BY THE WAY— ON PRO- VERBS — ON LANGUAGES— A RIDDLE — THOUGHTS ON ART 52 CHAPTER VIII. AT clumber's — INTERVIEWING THE COB — SQUINTING GROOM—POINTS—UNDECIDED 59 CHAPTER IX. NOTION — PROFESSIONAL OPINION — TROTl' — TROTT'S NEW — GIG—A VISIT—THE HATCH 'Jj-HE FARM—THE OLD COW —THE NEW TUNE—TROTT AND HIS ASSISTANT . 67 CPIAPTER X. CONFIDENTIAL — TROTT'S IDEA — MIND AND BODY— COWS AND CHICKENS — A SMILE — A NEW DEGREE — SHORT- NECKED—TROTT'S OPINIONS—ARRIVAL . • • 75 CHAPTER XI. CHEZ CLUMBER— DEAFNESS — BUSINESS — TITLE — PRICE — FAILURE—SQUINTING TOM—SPOKER— MY TRIAL—OVER —RESOLUTION 8 CHAPTER XII. VISITORS—THE UNKNOWN—HIS NOSE—PULLINGER— PRO- VERBIAL PHILOSOPHY—NO ROOM—LEFT SITTING . 90 CONTENTS. ix CHAPTER XIII. PAGE THE VISITORS — THE UNINTRODUCED ONE —ARRIVAL OF AN ANIMAL TO SUIT ME—EXCITEMENT . -95 CHAPTER XIV. THE HORSE AT THE FRONT GATE—ON VIEW—MR. JARViS —HIS LEGS — DIGRESSIONS AND NOTES — INTERVIEW PROCEEDING lOI CHAPTER XV. STILL ENGAGED WITH MR. JARVIS ABOUT THE HORSE . Io6 CHAPTER XVI. FINISHING OFF JARVIS II4 CHAPTER XVII. THE MEMORABLE TRIAL OF JARVIS's COB INTERRUPTED BY SOMETHING ABOUT GLOPPIN'S GRANDMOTHER . .119 CHAPTER XVIII. MY DRIVE COMMENCES—TWO DRIVES AND A RIDE—END OF JARVIS'S COB—TROTT'S QUIET ANIMAL . I26 CHAPTER XIX. I PURCHASE A HORSE . c I33 CHAPTER XX. .ALL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUYING AND SELLING. I40 X CONTENTS. CHAPTER XXI. PAGE SOME OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BUYING AND SELLING —JELFER's EXCHANGE NO ROBBERY—A FRESH TRIAL OF A NEW HORSE—THE GALLANT GREY—RESULT . I4S CHAPTER XXH. NO NEWS FROM JELFER— FREEMASONRY IN RELATION TO HORSE-DEALING—CASUISTRY AND MASONRY—NOTE FOR A POEM—AN ARRIVAL 157 CHAPTER XXni. THE COMMENCEMENT OF A NEW DEAL IN HORSEFLESH WITH CHALVEY THE GIPSY — FURTHER THOUGHTS ON MASONS—ON GIPSIES—MY AUNT'S SUSPICIONS . 163 CHAPTER XXIV. I DEAL WITH GIPSY CHALVEY, BEFORE WITNESSES — MY aunt's OPINION—SYMPTOMS OF A COLD . 167 CHAPTER XXV. HORSE can't GO OUT—I CAN'T—IT'S COLD—THE NEW JOB AND HIS FRIENDS IN COUNCIL 174 CHAPTER XXVI. CONTINUATION OF COLD — FRIENDS IN CONSULTATION — TRYING A REMEDY 179 A CONTEXTS. xi CHAPTER XXVII. PAGE A RESTLESS NIGHT l86 CHiVPTER XXVIII. THE CLEVER COB IN HARNESS — A FAIR TRICK — ITS RESULT — FIAVS CORONA T OPUS 1 92 THE STORY OF MY LEGAL EXAMINATION 203 MY AUNT'S GREAT POLICE CASE. CHAPTER L HER LEGACY — ITS DUTIES — COMPLICATIONS — MY LEGAL TRAINING THE CONVEYANCER'S CHAMBERS—MY AUNT's HUNDRED—HER RECENT IMPROVEMENT—A VISIT— CONSULTATION—PUTTING UP—RESULT—THE CABMAN —DIFFICULTIES—RESCUE—NIGHT AND MORNING—AN INTERVAL—SECOND APPEARANCE OF MY AUNT—START- LING INTELLIGENCE 217 CHAPTER IL PROSECUTOR—PRISONER—DEFENDANT—QUESTIONS OF CRI- MINAL LAW—COMFORT—A POSER—CHANGE OF CHA- RACTER—STRANGE—MISS SOMEBODY—CASE FOR THE CHANCELLOR—OR JURY—QUESTION OF COSTUME—THE MARTYR—TOUCHING FAREWELL—A DEMAIN . 224 —A xii CONTEXTS. CHAPTER HI. VAGE TO-MORROW ARRIVES — THE PALAIS DE JUSTICE — THE CROWD—FEARS—INQUIRIES—OFFICIALS—UNFORTUNATE SIMILE—A PROSPECT—THE OFFICE—THE CLERKS—THE INSPECTOR— MORE OFFICIALS—INFORMATION—UNCER- TAINTY—THE POLICE COURT—INTERIOR—SEATS—THE '*RUM" LADY — CONFIDENCES — INTERESTING CASE — OLD PURKISS—THE ARRIVAL 229 CHAPTER IV. THE MAGISTRATE— HIS ADDRESS—FIRST SOLICITOR—AN IM- PORTANT CASE—THE WAVERER—AN ASSAULT CASE— WANDERING WITNESS—NEXT CASE—MAN WITH THE BAG— AN APPLICATION — PERSISTANCE— IMPATIENCE — TIME—LUCID STORY—REMOVAL—NEXT CASE—THE VA- GRANT—A DECISION —NEXT CASE—ON WE GO AGAIN . 238 CHAPTER V. STOUT V. THIN—AN INJERFERENCE—THE CLERK SQUASHED —A LAUGH IN THE WRONG PLACE—CALL NEXT CASE THOMAS MUDDOCK—EXCITEMENT—HENRY—COMING TO THE POINT — EXAMINATION — PREVARICATION— ULTI- MATE TRIUMPH OF RIGHT—DEFEAT OF WRONG—END OF MY aunt's GREAT POLICE CASE 2|4 OUR REPRESENTATIVE MAN. 255 ABOUT BUYING A HORSE. CHAPTER I. ABOUT THE PURCHASE OF A HORSE. OW my pony is getting old. Not strong enough to take a party of six fourteen miles without what they call "showing signs of distress." Tell every one, for months, that I must get a " horse. Or say Cob." Cob sounds more modest : more like a person who keeps only one. "Horse" sounds like getting a Derby winner. Also, for another reason, if I say at a large dinner party " I must get a new horse," it gives the idea of my having a stud, consisting of a lot of old ones, and that I am going to "add to their number," as they say on Committees. I consult my friend Gloppin on the subject. I generally consult him on any matters connected with horseflesh, on account of his sporting reputation, which he first gained 2 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. through the cut of his trousers. In fact, it was this pecuh'ar- cut that originally gave him the idea of riding, as, up to the age of twenty-two, he had never crossed a horse. But, happening one day to change his tailor, and being fitted by his new one with this remarkable sportingly cut pair of trousers, and, further, being congratulated by every one on their admirable fit, it occurred to him that he had better be consistent from the sole of his boots to the top of his hat, and so, when he next appeared in public, he was sporting all over. He was away for some time —at least, his friends lost s'ght of him,—and, when I saw him again, it was out with the hounds, about sixteen miles from my cottage, when I had driven over in order to see the throw-off. Happy Thought.—The pleasantest way of seeing a "throw- off" is to be seated, comfortably, in a trap, drawn by a horse that woii't start at anything. How one can theji remark on the want of pluck shown by the riders, and what an exciting spectacle it is to see them take the first fence ! One enjoys it, too, all the more if you've had the slightest experience of taking the first fence yourself. I have. Then the fun of " " " !'' crying out Yoicks ! "Tallyho ! and" Gone away from a seat in a carriage. Then the jokes which you can safely make to a nervous rider (always from your seat in the " " carriage, when he comes up to say Good morning ; for instance), about the "throw-off." One can say, " I've come to see the hounds throw-off. Your horse looks as if it was going to throw-off first." Or something light and airy to that eftect. Then you can inquire of some one else " How he ABOUT BUYING A HORSE. 3 feels outside a horse ? '^ and ask another person, with a fresh horse, just to "pop over that hedge and let's see how he ^^oes." On the whole, the longer I look back on my past experi- ence, and the more I consider the matter, the more firmly am I convinced that the pleasantest way of going out hunting is in a carriage, with plenty of rugs, a flask and cigars, and, if you follow the hounds by road, a hamper with luncheon. '" I know what you want," Gloppin says. This, on con- sideration, is clever of Gloppin, after I've told him what I want. But it's Gloppin's characteristic ; he always knows '• to a hair " what anyone wants, if they only tell him before- hand. " I know what you want," says Gloppin, quite angrily, as if I had put my case weakly or described my '*' requirements inadequately ; you want a good stout cob " " Yes," I say, " about fourteen one.'' " Well," replies Gloppin eyeing me over, doubtfully, "about fourteen one or two ; something that would take you a distance when you wanted to drive, and that you could just throw your leg over, when you merely wanted an hour's jog along the road. You wouldn't object," he adds, slyly, " to getting a day's hunting out of him occasionally." In the presence of my Aunt and company, to whom Gloppin is an oracle, I admit, with a smile intended to be quite as knowing as Gloppin's, that I should 7iot object to a day's hunting out of him. "Lor!" says Gloppin, looking round at the guests and fixing my Aunt, " I know the sort of horse he wants." B 2 4 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. I, too, look round with an air of satisfaction, as much as to say to those who didn't know it before, " I'm a bit of a sportsman ; I can drive, I can ride, and I'm—keep your eye on me— I'm going to do quite the Country-Squire-like sort of thing— I'm going to buy a horse.

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