Prospective Members of the Sublime Loch Lomond Golf Club Should Move Fast and Have the £75,000 Joining Fee at the Ready. There
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
BONNIEhere are timesGREEN when the game GIANTHe rises slowly, flexes his knees and Prospective members of of golf slips gently into “thea- takes a couple of stiffish swishes the sublime Loch Lomond tre” and the play becomes with his driver before standing Golf Club should move comedy, sometimes tragedy or, back and staring myopically into occasionally, in my case, farce. It the stalls. A cadaverous caddie in a fast and have the £75,000 Tall depends on the company you’re in, the hat and army surplus boots appears joining fee at the ready. significance of the match and the grand- stage right, painfully unshoulders his eur of the landscape. I’m talking about the bag of clubs and remarks, “Ye’ll kip to There are just 100 places obsession it generates among addicts who are the reet and aim for yon boonker; left before the list closes, prepared to traverse the world to get a game ye’ll never reech it.” Having on a course where someone has committed delivered his professional advice, he says an envious John Gibb. heroics of significance only to aficionados. spits and shuffles a few steps back- For instance, I flew up to Loch Lomond in ward. In the silence the pink shirt October and found myself steps forward to address the ball. treading the boards at one Main picture: England lock landscape, minus the wild- Melodrama aside, playing golf at Loch of the world’s most beautiful Simon Shaw tees off from the life. Enter stage left an elderly Lomond is a treat and while it is nearly always golfing theatres. first after the World Cup Rugby golfer in a pink shirt and a memorable and exciting experience, it also The curtain rises to reveal Final. Above: club drawing room co-respondent shoes. He is manages to remain essentially Scottish. I was an elevated platform of with peat fire and bottle of malt. followed by two unusually there when the trees were turning glorious perfect turf set in front of tall men, one athletically shades of brown and copper and the sinking Rossdhu House, a Palladian mansion that built, who carries a bagful of clubs as if they afternoon sun was catching the snow on the glows gold in the late afternoon sunshine. are a bundle of twigs. He has a face which crest of Ben Lomond across the loch. My The background is of purple heather and appears to have been trampled on and then opponent was General James Shaw who acts pine forest fringing a wide loch in which are hastily patched up. The first man stretches, as a roving ambassador and secretary for reflected distant, snowcapped mountains. bends down and carefully bal- the club. His nephew Simon, the England The scenery creates the effect of a Landseer ances a ball on a high tee. second-row forward, had arrived how to spend it 49 Loch Golf B6.press.indd 2 16/1/08 13:47:51 The idea was to create a club to which members would be happy to travel from all over the world. Cost would be irrelevant. He also had the luxury of an historic, pro- remains home to the Scottish Open, is a 7,100 tected landscape uncluttered with buildings yard, par 71 and it is not by any means a sim- and without the prospect of development. ple challenge. The turf is constantly tended This would never be an amenity course, it and pampered by a greenkeeper/agronomist had to be a monument to golf, prepared and who has the benefit of 36 staff and an exten- kept to the highest standard. The course is sive grass nursery. When I arrived, there well drained and in perfect condition. were teams of uniformed men with air blow- The idea was to create an international ers clearing the leaves from the greens and club to which members would be happy fairways so that the course looked as if it had to travel from all over the world; not easy been unwrapped fresh from its packaging. when first-class courses are opening regu- The luxury comes with the clubhouse and larly wherever you look and your club is 25 the lodges built on the loch shore. There are miles north of Glasgow. The members would steps up to the beds, bottles of malt on the happily travel because of the quality of the bedside table, three dining rooms and a large golf. The luxury of the accommodation bar, venison and wild salmon on the menu would be taken for granted and cost would be and a spa where a Scottish girl called Paula irrelevant. The estate had for centuries been massaged my aching back with hot golf balls. the HQ of the Clan Colquhoun. Rossdhu James Shaw spends much of his time trav- House, adjacent to the ninth and 18th holes, elling the world to vet prospective members. is where the lairds would sit, drinking their There are currently 900 and when they reach privately distilled uisge beatha and plotting 1,000 the list will close for a few years. About bloody vengeance on the McGregors and half the membership is from the UK and hotfoot from the Rugby Top: a seaplane delivers players second shot between them, MacFarlanes. It remains one of Scotland’s Ireland and the remainder from the rest of World Cup Final in Paris and to the club in front of Rossdhu. you must deal with one of loveliest historic buildings and has been the world. They pay a joining fee of £75,000 was still fired up, striking his Above: sun shines on the turn. those narrow, domed greens converted into the clubhouse. and the annual sub for 2008 is £3,250. You first drive so far we never saw Below: Gibb on the 13th tee. which can be cranked up Weiskopf finished Loch Lomond in 1993 can’t play the course unless you’re a mem- it again. The course looked from difficult to impossible and it was an important milestone because ber or a member’s guest. A caddy costs £45 sublime, turf dry and firm and the greens depending on the mood of the greenkeeper. it was the first course built in Scotland for a round, plus tip, and you can take one of the trim and fast and slippery as an ice rink. The course was co-designed by the 19 years. He has been tinkering with it on lodges on the estate. There is a second course, We set off down the first, a gentle 425- American Tom Weiskopf who won The and off ever since and turns up every year to at Dundonald on the links near Troon, and yard par four which bends to the left on to Open at Royal Troon in 1973. He rightly con- fiddle about with the position of a bunker or plans for a third on the south of the estate, a long, thin green with a rash of tricky little sidered himself a lucky man to be given such the subtleties of an approach shot. Today, it designed by Jack Nicklaus. bunkers waiting to catch a pulled second. a spectacular canvas to work on. The course, The perfect day would be to reach The inescapable Caledonian nature of the always planned as a challenge to the world’s Scotland and end your journey by charter- course is brought about by the landscape. best golfers, was laid out on marshy land on ing a Loch Lomond Seaplane to take you It is predominantly parkland, although the loch’s west shore. It was once a park of to the Loch. Step aboard the club launch. there are hints of links golf in some of the trout streams, wetlands, marsh and peat bog Take a bite of lunch and play 18 holes on long, rolling holes beside the loch. The with carefully sited avenues of trees. There a spring afternoon. When it happens, the sixth, for instance – a monstrous 625-yard is an elevation change of 35ft and the sandy course will get to you and when you come par five with a 30-yard-long fairway bunker soil is stabilised and enriched with ancient to the end, a saucy 205 yard, par three 17th, waiting to catch the well-hit second, and oak, Scots pine and Douglas fir. followed by a b*****d of a narrow, curving, a long, narrow, well-defended green – is The major problems for Weiskopf and his 435-yard final hole, both beside the water, one of the most beautiful holes I have ever co-designer Jay Morrish were how to drain you will appreciate Weiskopf’s unique abil- played and it would be at home amongst the land and keep the course open for at least ity to mix beauty with danger. Irresistible. dunes by the Fife shore. 10 months a year. Money and space seem Pull all the strings you can to play it. ✦ The designers have made good use of not to have been a problem; investment has John Gibb was a guest of Loch Lomond Golf trees. The two old oaks on the right and left, exceeded £100m and there were 700 acres to Club, Rossdhu House, Luss by Alexandria, 290 yards up the fourth fairway, for example, play with. Weiskopf’s skill as a designer was Dunbartonshire, G83 8NT (01436-655 555; are an indication as to how you must play established with his instinctive feel for the www.lochlomond.com). The 43 suites cost the hole, but, if you manage to steer your land and his knowledge of competitive golf.