The Two-Bedroom Apartment and the Olive Branch
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
B2 THE SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE SUNDAY • AUGUST 11 ,2019 MEDIATE THIS ! THE TWO-BEDROOM APARTMENT AND THE OLIVE BRANCH BY STEVEN P. DINKIN the fact that they didn’t get place. Whatever you decide the apartment is under- to do, these conciliatory Dear Mediator, standable. We’ve all been gestures will serve not only After living with my apartment hunting or to communicate to them roommate and his girl- product searching at one that it is important to you friend for the past three point only to find a perfect to preserve your relation- years, I’m moving out on match, then be outbid or ship, but also to show them my own. They found anoth- beaten to the transaction that you actually mean er roommate and are now by someone else. Perhaps what you say. looking for a new place. I what is not understandable The preservation of our found a two-bedroom is why they are exhibiting relationships with those apartment I absolutely this hostility toward you. around us can be trying at love. I applied and got ap- If you value their friend- times. Sometimes all it proved to move in. Why not ship and want to preserve takes is an olive branch, have an extra room if I can your relationship with through an act of goodwill, afford it? I found out that them, then this could be a to soften a hardened view- my roommates submitted a perfect opportunity to point. American military rental application for the utilize conciliatory gestures officer and statesman Lewis same apartment I’m mov- in your conflict resolution Cass once said, “People ing into. Apparently, they strategy. Conciliatory ges- may doubt what you say, love it too. They now feel I tures encompass any action but they will believe what should rescind my applica- taken that aims to ease the you do.” Never forget the tion so they can apply, suffering caused by being in strength of the positive tide because I don’t need two conflict with someone. you can create with an act bedrooms and they had put Acknowledging the unfor- of conciliation. their hopes on getting this GETTY IMAGES tunate circumstance is a place. I think I have no This week’s question deals with a roommate who hopes solely to rent a new good first step. You could Steven P. Dinkin is a professional obligation to do this for apartment, only to find the other roommates have applied for the same unit. offer to help your room- mediator who has served as them. Am I wrong? mates search for an alterna- president of the San Diego-based Rattled in Otay Ranch seen it all. Roommate con- ship with your roommates, tee that their application tive apartment, or even ask National Conflict Resolution Center flicts are an unfortunate having lived with them for will be approved simply the property manager of since 2003. Do you have a conflict Dear Rattled, reality of life. When you the past three years, only to because you are no longer your new apartment if there that needs a resolution? Share your We deal with a lot of have different personalities find yourself in conflict as an applicant, and there is are similar options avail- story with The Mediator via email roommate issues at the in close spaces, there will you are about to leave. no guarantee you will find able. at mediatethis@ ncrconline.com or National Conflict Resolu- always be friction. Your Withdrawing your appli- another apartment that Perhaps you can offer to as an online submission by visiting tion Center. From dirty situation is quite unique, cation to allow your room- will give you the same sense help them move or bring www.ncrconline.com/ MediateThis. dishes piling up, to loud however. You’ve presum- mates to apply will not help of joy. Nevertheless, your them lunch when they are All submissions will be kept music, to pet hair, we’ve ably had a good relation- anyone. There is no guaran- roommates being upset at first settling into their new anonymous. NOTEBOOKS From Union-Tr ibune reporting staff THE READERS’ REPRESENTATIVE: ADRIAN VORE What is the U-T ‘Editorial Board’? Reader sensitivity to White House stories predecessor, Bill Osborne, used to say. It’s and readerperceptionof the newsand edito- where we try to shape our region’s future rial departments have been ongoing issues throughdebateandcommentary, independ- for the past two years during these times of ent of any political party, valuing the diver- deep political division. sity of the region and trying to hold institu- Take for example, a reader who emailed tions and their leaders to high standards of to complainrecentlyaboutthejuxtaposition honesty, transparency and accountability. on the front page between an article on the “The board has five members: Jeff Light, Trump administration defending the presi- editor and publisher; Andrew Kleske, reader dent’s tweets attacking four representatives outreach editor; Blanca Gonzalez, commu- and another story on the psychology of hate nity opinion editor; Chris Reed, deputy opin- seen in white supremacy and political ex- ion editor; and me, the editorial and opinion tremism. director. The reader said the articles being played “The bulk of our discussions occur with- nextto eachotherwasdonepurposelyto link out Jeff, as we meet as a quartet every morn- the administration to hate. He said it ing, along with community opinion writer showed that the “editorial board” had ex- and podcast host Abby Hamblin, to talk erted its influence on story play. about which editorial subjects we’ll tackle in (This wasnot the case. The front pagefol- the next day’s paper (and within hours on- lows a consistent format of a large picture line) and what to say about these subjects,” and a story above the fold. Others stories, Hall said. and a smaller picture, end up below the fold. “Editorial writing involves researching It just so happened that on A1 that day, the and thinking deeply about a wide range of is- COURTESY SDG&E two stories landed next to each other below sues at every level of community, from local SDG&E has a new tactical command vehicle that will be deployed during wild- the fold.) to international, and also conducting inter- fires to help improve communications and provide more information. The reader’s reference to the “editorial viewsasneedbeto makesurewe understand board” made me wonder how many readers these issues and their competing viewpoints PUBLIC SAFETY: KAREN KUCHER know what is the editorial board and what it as well as we can. The same process unfolds does. for candidate and ballot measure endorse- In short, the editorial board deals with ments during political campaigns. And of SDG&E’s $600K firefighting vehicle editorials and other opinion pieces. It op- course we publish other people’s views to erates separately from the newsroom. Edi- have a wider conversation around these is- San Diego Gas & Electric plans to de- Since 2007, SDG&E has invested about tors on the board do not influence news deci- sues, from letters to the editor to syndicated ploy a special off-road vehicle during wild- $1.5 billion of ratepayer money into pro- sions — and newsroom editors do not shape columns to op-eds of varying lengths. fires that can quickly provide firefighters grams aimed at reducing the risk of wild- editorials. “The board also interviews newsmakers with state-of-the-art communications fires and helping put out fires once they ig- For instance, in April the editorial board and community leaders on a regular basis technology, even in remote areas. nite. took the position that it would no longer and under me has begun publishing not just The $600,000 tactical command vehicle, “This resource allows for on-site com- print the names of mass shooters. “Our (edi- transcripts of these interviews in the news- which the utility company bought in No- mand and control at disasters or significant torial)boardwillnolongerpublishtheseper- paper, but the entire audio and transcripts vember 2018, is a truck loaded with gear — emergencies,” said utility spokeswoman petrators’ names in our editorials except in online. ... People can then judge more fully satellite and microwave dishes, equipment Denice Menard. “Through the use of so- rare circumstances when we deem the news where the editorial board members are com- that can downlink helicopter video and a ta- phisticated communication technology, value too great to avoid doing it once,” the ing from. I and each of the editorial board ble top touchscreen where maps and video key decision-makers have all the tools nec- editorial announcing the policy read. members believe we should be as honest and can be viewed. essary to make safe and informed deci- The policy affected opinion pieces, not transparent and accountable as we expect “The vehicle is vital to SDG&E’s safety sions.” news stories. other community leaders to be. efforts because it allows teams to deploy The vehicle can be deployed within For a description of the editorial board “Speaking of ethics, the editorial board faster and quickly establish full internet about 20 minutes when a fire breaks out, and its function, I went to Matthew T. Hall, has no say in the Union-Tribune’s news cov- and satellite phone communications at she said, and can go into high-clearance the editorial and opinion director. erage, news stories or story placement. temporary locations,” the company said in areas and off pavement. It will be stored at “The San Diego Union-Tribune Editorial When we interview newsmakers, we will astatement. San Diego International Airport. Board is a group of journalists at the Union- often invite reporters and editors from the The unit, which can carry up to four peo- It can establish internet and satellite Tribune that regularly weigh in with a collec- newsroom to join us and ask questions, but ple, will be manned by SDG&E employees phone communications in remote sites and tive voice on issues of the day and with a we do not influencewhat they will then write, and may be partially staffed by fire com- “should enhance situational awareness and number of endorsements during political just as newsroom reporters and editors have mand staff.