Meeting Mercy

Home , Mercy (cipher), Simon the Pharisee

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meeting mercy

S T O R I E S O F R E J E C T S & R E B E L S R E D E E M E D B Y M E R C Y Contents

Patron Recognition...... 1 Introduction...... 2

Zacchaeus: The Sinner Who Was Seen...... 4 The Followers Of Little Faith...... 7 The Poor Widow Of Mighty Faith...... 9 The Samaritan Woman Quenched By Living Water...... 11 The Sinful Woman Who Loved Much...... 13 The Family Jesus Loved...... 15 Mary: The Woman Who Wasted On Jesus...... 17 The Adulterous Woman Shielded By Mercy...... 21 The Unfaithful Friends He Loved To The End...... 24 Peter: The Coward Redeemed By Love...... 26 The Criminal Welcomed Into Paradise...... 29 Thomas: The Sceptic Who Touched God's Scars...... 31 Saul: The Good Guy Who Got It All Wrong...... 34 The Bleeding Woman Named A Daughter...... 37

Meet The Author...... 42 Become A Patron For Words Of Hope...... 43

WITH GRATITUDE TO MY PATRONS:

A A R O N L E E A D A M C ' H N G A D D I E L ' E S T R E L L E B I L L Y L A M C A I T L Y N M O Y D I A N A B A C K H O U S E E I L E E N W A N G E L E A N O R L A I E L I A C H E N E U N I C E K I E M G A R Y H I L L G R A C E L A M H A Y L E Y S E T O J A M E S T R U O N G J A N E K A N G J A N E K I M J E N N Y Y A U J I M A S H B U R N J O Y C E C H E N K A W O N G K A T H Y C H U N G K A T R I N A T S E N G K E I T H W O N G M A B E L J O E M A R Y J U N G M A T T H E W C H A N M E G A N W A L S H M E L T R U O N G M I C H A E L W O N G N A T A S H A L O N I C O L E T H A I O W E N S E T O P H I L I P T H A I R E B E C C A B A I L E Y S A L L Y H O N G S A M M I E Y I P S T E V E K R Y G E R S U S A N Y E E S Y L V I A Z H E N G S Z E M I N N G W E N D A Y C H U W I L S O N M O Y Z O E S I M B A G

A C T I V E P A T R O N S A S O F 2 9 A P R I L 2 0 2 0

C O V E R A R T B Y S H A N E L I M

P A G E 1 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y Introduction

Unclean. Unworthy. Unwelcome.

I am no stranger to such labels. For many years, the voice of condemnation made me hide from God and others behind masks and walls. Playing the part of both reject and rebel, my performances left me crushed with guilt and shame, until one day, I found myself weeping at Jesus’ feet, wondering whether I would ever be ‘good enough’ for him.

The kingdom didn’t come for women like me–or so I thought. After pleading for answers, Jesus began to unveil his mercies through the pages of the Bible. Like a mirror to my inmost being, the Word unveiled my shame and unmasked my secrets but where I deserved condemnation I received compassion and where I expected mockery, I was washed with mercy. Even under a divine microscope, my broken heart stood still, for it was being pieced together by nail pierced hands.

This devotional will help you to explore Jesus’ interactions with people who have felt unclean, unworthy and unwelcome. Combining truth and beauty, theology and poetry, this resource will help you walk in the shoes of rejects and rebels as they come face-to-face with the God of mercy. It is my prayer that readers will walk away with a richer understanding of the gospel, a renewed love for Jesus, and a restored confidence in amazing grace that welcomes sinners home.

P A G E 2 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y The Deceiver demanded trust– the fool complied, intoxicated by false promises of life, she emptied herself for a lie.

(once was blind)

P H O T O : K A T Z I A J A Z W I N K S A

Zacchaeus

T H E S I N N E R W H O W A S S E E N

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. (Luke 19:10)

Read: Luke 19:1–10

By the Lunar calendar I was born in the year of the Dragon, which according to Chinese tradition, is an incredibly lucky thing. The only mythical creature of all Chinese Zodiac signs, the Dragon is revered and considered a source of success and good fortune. The reality is, I grew up feeling like an insignificant fly on the wall. Born as an ‘accident’ to immigrant parents who worked four jobs to put food on the table, I grew up feeling unseen and unheard. My loneliness led me down a path of teenage rebellion as I grasped for worth and relationship in all the wrong places. The Deceiver promised me life, and I foolishly emptied myself for a lie. The Dragon’s fortune never came.

At church, I was the girl that made people feel intimidated and suspicious. Why was I there? What did I want? No matter how hard I tried to fit in with modesty and 'Christianese', I still stuck out like a sore thumb. I knew I had flaws but I didn’t know how to change. Sometimes I would hear whispers which affirmed my unwelcome. Bad influence. Be careful. Sinner. With laughter and jokes, I pretended not to care. Dragons breathe fire–they don’t have time for tears. Nobody knew that I was actually a fly.

I wonder if Zacchaeus had a similar story? Small and overlooked, unseen and unheard. He was not the type of guy who would grow up to be a hero. One day, the Deceiver shows up to promise him wealth and status and he takes the bait to satisfy his greed. Tax collectors were scum. They robbed others to become rich. They used their power for evil. They betrayed their own people in order to support a brutal and corrupt regime. Powered by greed, Zacchaeus ruthlessly plowed through the system in order to reach the top of the corporate ladder. He becomes the chief tax collector sitting on a mountain of stolen wealth. Seen at last.

And yet I wonder if the dollars ever satisfied? Whether his wealth was worth the social and spiritual isolation? In Hebrew the name ‘Zacchaeus’ means ‘clean’, and yet he chose to bear the shame and name of a sinner. I wonder what motivated Zacchaeus to climb a tree in search of Jesus? Perhaps the more that his riches increased, the more he was emptied of his soul. Perhaps he realised that money doesn’t satisfy. Perhaps he had heard that Jesus was a great healer and that people who entered his presence could have their sins forgiven and their joy restored. We don’t know his motive, but what we do know is that Zacchaeus scrambles up a fig tree to catch a glimpse of Jesus. It’s an act so shameless and reeking of desperation. The crowd probably scoffed. Don’t waste your time. Jesus doesn’t associate with sinners like you.

P A G E 4 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y

And this is why I adore this story, because Mercy knocks at the sinner’s door. As Jesus walks past the fig tree, he stops in his tracks, sees the ‘small’ guy, and calls him by name. Jesus then invites himself to stay at the sinner’s house. What mercy! The sinner didn’t have to beg or grovel. He didn't have to show off a track record of good works. He didn’t have to wash his hands, or to justify why he had failed to live up to his name. Instead, the Seeker of sinners initiates a relationship and the sinner accepts with gladness.

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly. (Luke 19:5–6)

Zacchaeus was so moved by mercy that he responded with an instantaneous change of heart. His greedy heart begins to pulse with generosity, and he is humbled to repentance and to make amends for the harm he has done to others. Notice that it was God’s initiative of salvation that compelled Zacchaeus to do good–and not the other way round. In the Kingdom of mercy, salvation precedes performance.

While we can commend Zacchaeus for his earnest seeking of Jesus, the real seeker in this story is Jesus who came into our world to seek and save the lost.

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost. (Luke 19:10)

Whether the world sees us as saints or sinners, big dragons or small flies, we can trust that the King of Kings sees us for who we truly are and yet he welcomes us home as Sons and Daughters. Although we will fail to live up to the name that’s required of God’s Children, we can be confident that we are saved through our faith in Jesus, because only He can make us truly clean. No matter who you are, or what you have done, Jesus is calling you by name to come down from the tree. Mercy is knocking. You only need to welcome him in with gladness.

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Verses For Meditation:

Ephesians 2:8–10 Matthew 13:44–46 Luke 15:1–7

Reflection Questions:

1.How does the knowledge of being seen, heard and known by Jesus make you feel?

2.Are you doing ‘good works’ for Jesus out of gladness or grumbling?

3.What spiritual disciplines can you put in place to foster gratitude and gladness for God’s

mercies?

4.When have you chosen greed over generosity? Give an example.

5.Who is someone God has called you to be generous to?

Prayer:

If you feel compelled to welcome God into your life, ask him to do so by thanking him for his mercy towards sinners. Confess your need for Jesus to rescue and forgive you of sin. Ask God to reveal the things in your life that are displeasing to him and for the humility and desire to repent. Confess your greed and ask for a heart of generosity. Thank God for initiating a relationship with you.

P A G E 6 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y

The Followers

O F L I T T L E F A I T H

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” (Matthew 8:26)

Read: Matthew 8:23–27

Last night I had a dream where I was gliding through still waters; my soul basking in the warmth of cool and calm serenity. With a coffee in one hand and a pen in another, I paddled through the pages of my journal, allowing my ink to brim over with gratitude. My mind was clear and my tummy was full. God is good.

And then my alarm went off, blaring jarred notes that shook my soul. I opened my bleary eyes and began treading water. Ticking off deadlines, paying bills, and avoiding the unsolved argument from the night before. As waters rose, I tread faster, anxiously propping up my idols in order to keep them dry. Too many burdens, not enough hands. In a moment of weakness, I lost my grip and was swept out into deep waters where waves crashed and winds roared. God, wake up! Can’t you see that I’m going to drown?

“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” (Matthew 8:26)

Why am I so afraid? Why do the ripples of life feel like a tsunami, when ripples are all they are? Why do I obey the voices of fear and anxiety, when I belong to the One who holds the oceans in his hands? Faith requires us to “be still” and to loosen our grip on idols. Faith requires us to surrender control, put our will to sleep, and to trust in the will of the One who never grows weary. This means that even if we stop treading water, faith promises that we will remain afloat.

The disciples saw first-hand the power that Jesus had over life’s waves. Stuck on a boat during a furious storm, the disciples panicked and begged their Master to wake up to save them. They had already seen Jesus perform wondrous miracles, and yet in their fear of a storm they wavered in their faith. Instead of rebuking the disciples for their lack of faith, Jesus extends compassion and mercy. He patiently wakes up from his nap and brings order to the chaos. Immediately the howling winds were silenced, the roaring waters calmed and the boat filled with reverent awe. Who is this man who has control over the winds and waves?

As people who belong to Jesus, we need not fear the storms of life, for we belong to the One who has conquered the wind and wave of death itself. At the cross, Jesus drowned under our sin to remove death’s sting, so that even if we find ourselves wading in deep waters, we can tell our frantic souls to not be afraid.

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Verses For Meditation:

Psalm 121 Joshua 1:9 Romans 8:31-32

Reflection Questions:

1.When you’re faced with the ‘storms’ of life, who or what do you instinctively turn to for safety and comfort? 2.How has Jesus demonstrated his power over the storms of life? Give specific examples. 3.What would it look like to respond in faith and not fear in current circumstances?

Prayer:

Praise God for his power and sovereignty over the storms of life and that as his children, we can rest in his fatherly care. Praise God that because of the resurrection–death has lost its sting. Confess any idols that you are currently depending on to calm your worry and fears. Ask God to help you stand firm and that you will respond to challenges with faith and not fear. Praise God for the hope that we have beyond the grave.

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The Poor Widow

O F M I G H T Y F A I T H

“Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” (Luke 21:3–4)

Read: Luke 20:45–21:4

Hungry and helpless, the widow approached the temple court to make her offering. After losing her husband, she very quickly became a victim of a corrupt system. God’s law commands ‘love for neighbour’ and generosity to the poor–especially widows. Instead, its top teachers learned to devour widow households so that they could dress and dine in luxury. Is there anything more wicked than knowledge without love?

Entering the marketplace, the ragged widow became lost in a sea of honoured men dressed in flowing robes. Unlike the widow, the Pharisees walked with an air of confidence with their heads full of knowledge and stomachs stuffed with banquet food. Filling the temple treasury with stolen gold, their fraudulent performance pleased the people–but Jesus was focused on a different act.

In the women’s court, the widow stood meekly before the treasury, her dry fingers clasped around two copper coins. What could God possibly do with two miniscule mites*? Was this even worth giving? With her stomach churning from hunger and anxiety, the widow parted with her life savings with trust that God would provide.

What inspired such faith? Had she heard that Jesus had the power to feed five thousand with five loaves of bread and two pieces of fish–and thus could use any offering, big or small? Had she remembered the poor widow who in faith, fed the prophet Elijah at the risk of dying from starvation (1 Kings 17:12–16)? The details that motivated her giving are unknown, but what we do know is that unlike the teachers of the law, this woman gave very little, and yet it was she who was seen and commended by the God of Mercy.

Considering her circumstances, her giving is remarkable. She had lost her husband, been robbed by teachers of the law, and her savings had been completely depleted. Surely, this would have caused her to doubt God’s goodness? Surely, after losing everything, she would have wondered whether God actually provides? The poor widow’s example is remarkable– because even in grief and poverty, she had faith in God’s promises to provide.

In his ministry on earth, Jesus challenged society’s perception of ‘success’. While the Jewish community esteemed the important, the eloquent and the rich, Jesus praised the humility

* The smallest and least valuable coin in circulation in Judea.

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of the sick, the poor and the sinner. While Pharisees were quick to judge the sin of others, Jesus was quick to praise those who were willing to admit their many sins (Luke 18:13–14). In God’s kingdom, the eloquent preacher is just as valuable as the servant stacking chairs. We all enter God’s kingdom by grace through faith alone.

The gospels could have been filled with stories of the impressive upper class or the spiritual elite. Instead, Jesus gives strong warnings to ‘beware’ teachers who use their theological knowledge for riches–for they will be punished more severely. Instead, we are to aspire to a modest life, following in the footsteps of the poor and unimportant widow, who responded to her knowledge of God with generosity and faith.

As people living on the other side of the cross, we have a greater knowledge than even the Pharisees and the teachers of the law. We know that Jesus left the riches of heaven to live in a world marred by spiritual poverty. We know that he traded a throne for thorns, a crown for a cross, and fellowship for forsakenness. We know that at the cross, Jesus became spiritually bankrupt so that sinners could be crowned as Sons and Daughters and given a place at God’s table. In view of God’s mercies, will we entrust our lives to the risen King with generosity and faith?

Verses For Meditation:

Romans 12:12 Corinthians 8:1–9 Matthew 6:21 Luke 6:20–21

Reflection Questions:

1.How does the testimony of the poor widow inspire you? 2.How does Jesus’ warnings to the teachers of the law challenge you? 3.How does knowing that you are spiritually rich in Jesus make you feel? 4.What does gospel faith and generosity look like for you in current circumstances?

Prayer:

Praise God for his extravagant generosity. Confess areas of your life where you have displayed pride, greed and serving publicly to please people. Ask for wisdom in knowing how to steward finances and resources with generosity and faith.

P A G E 1 0 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y

The Samaritan Woman

Q U E N C H E D B Y L I V I N G W A T E R

The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?” (John 4:11)

Read: John 4:1–26

It was another blistering day under the sun, and the woman, shamed for chasing multiple lovers, walked to the well–alone. Over the years, she had welcomed in lovers, believing they would complete her. Instead, she allowed charming thieves to chip away at a heart that was once whole.

Alone at the well–everybody knew that rejection and condemnation were her closest friends. The men who walked in promising ‘forevers’ would one day close the door and never return. She was well-known, but for all the wrong reasons: Harlot, Whore, Unloved. Alone and parched, nursing wounds as deep as the well, she longed for a drink that would quench her insatiable thirst.

Suddenly, a ‘Sir’ approaches and speaks her heart’s desire. He offers her ‘living water’, but she doubts his ability and intentions. He gently unveils her track record of failed relationships but in shame, she changes the subject. Let’s focus on facts. Let’s talk theology. Nobody gets hurt this way.

Soon, she would discover that this ‘Sir’ was like no other. Unlike her lovers who came to break and steal, this Lover would trade his life for hers. His body would be broken to make hers whole again. Unknown to her, the Giver of Living Water was knocking on her door– and he would prove with his life that he was here to stay.

Verses For Meditation:

John 4:1–26 John 7:37–39 Revelations 7:16–17

P A G E 1 1 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y

Reflection Questions:

1.Who or what is your ‘living water’? 2.Who or what do you turn to for security, significance and satisfaction? 3.In what ways has Jesus proven his commitment and ability to provide you with ‘living water’? 4.Do you feel parched from unconfessed wounds? Take a moment to acknowledge your pain. Write them down.

Prayer:

Praise God for his mercy towards wounded and rejected people. Ask God to bring comfort and healing to any emotional, physical or spiritual wounds. Ask God to help you let go of idols and to turn to Him for safety, security and satisfaction. Praise God that He offers parched sinners the gift of Living Water and that there will be a day when we will never thirst again.

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The Sinful Woman

W H O L O V E D M U C H

Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” (Luke 7:50)

Read: Luke 7:36–50

One evening, Jesus accepts an invitation to dine at the house of Simon the Pharisee. It was an organised gathering for the spiritual elite, when suddenly the room is silenced by an astonishing intrusion. A weeping woman, well known for being a ‘sinner’ walks into the house and falls at the feet of Jesus. Has she no shame? Dressed in pride and puffed up with knowledge, the room holds its breath, waiting for Jesus to respond with a rebuke. Does this prophet even know who she is?

While the Pharisees recline in comfort in the best seats in the house, this woman knows her place. She enters the room with her spine stooped low, well aware of her position. Before Jesus and the spiritual elite, she is unworthy and unwelcome–her many sins as unspeakable as her name–and yet she walks into a community of condemnation, hopeful to encounter the Befriender of sinners (Luke 5:31-32).

Feeling vulnerable and exposed, the sinner avoids eye contact and immediately postures herself as a lowly slave. She even uses her tears, hair and perfume to cleanse Jesus’ feet. While the woman humbles herself before the Holy One, Simon remains reclined–unmoved and unimpressed by the presence of his Holy guest. What this story shows us is that while the Sinful Woman is aware of her spiritual debt, Simon is completely blind to his. Simon is a Pharisee–a good and upstanding citizen–so why would he possibly need the mercy of a Saviour? Besides, his primary concern is the fact that a prophet would knowingly touch a sinner in his home! Has Jesus no shame?

Simon is unmoved by Jesus’ presence because he doesn’t see his need for mercy. His lack of love for Jesus is attributed to his failure to judge himself accurately. Jesus doesn’t measure our ‘goodness’ according to human standards. He measures by holy standards. He demands absolute perfection in heart, thought and deed. By holy standards, we are all weighed down by spiritual debts that need to be forgiven. This means God sees everyone on a level playing field: sinners in need of saving. In this story, the woman expresses much love for Jesus because she is aware that her many debts have been cleared. The weight of shame that once caused her to weep was lifted off her shoulders. She left home a sinner, she returned home saved and a recipient of divine mercy.

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The church can be a terrifying place for people who struggle with shame. For many years I believed that my flaws made me unworthy of love and belonging, and approaching God’s throne would cause me to tremble with fear. I avoided God’s community, in fear of being exposed for the things that were worthy of rejection. Shame told me that my presence was a mistake, and that it would be better if I just left everyone alone. I spent many years confused and weeping at Jesus’ feet, wondering if I would ever be ‘good’ enough for him.

Over the years, the Sinful Woman from Luke 7 has become a close confidant. Many times when I have been tempted to hide from fear of human opinion, she has turned up to remind me to anchor in the opinion of the only Judge who matters. I am who God says I am. My acceptance precedes performance. Whether we’re the Sinful Woman or Snobby Simon, what qualifies us into God’s kingdom is faith in the King who washes our feet and pays the full penalty of our sin. At the cross, Jesus shows both sinners and snobs extravagant mercy – will we respond to him with love?

Verses For Meditation:

Psalm 25:20 Romans 10:11 Matthew 9:13

Reflection Questions:

1.Are you more like the Sinful Woman, Snobby Simon or a mix of both? Can you think of specific examples that reflect these attitudes? 2.How does the example of the Sinful Woman inspire you? 3.How does the rebuke of Simon challenge you? 4.What can you practically do to foster a heart of humility before a holy God? 5.What does it look like to respond to forgiveness of sins with love?

Prayer:

Praise God for being a judge who is merciful and quick to forgive. Confess any wrong attitudes that you have displayed in your heart–whether sinful or snobby. Ask for a heart of humility and a willingness to respond to the gift of forgiveness with love and faith in Jesus. Praise God for the gift of new life and fresh beginnings.

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The Family

J E S U S L O V E D

Jesus wept.

Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:35–36)

Read: John 11:1–37

“Jesus wept” (John 11:35) may be the shortest verse in the Bible but it is so rich in mercy. This verse shows us the heart of a God who is willing to walk with us on paths of sorrow. In this story, Jesus visits Mary and Martha who are grieving the death of their brother named Lazarus. Upon arrival in Bethany, Jesus learns that Lazarus has already been entombed for four days, and that his sisters were deeply distressed by his death.

Notice that this family’s faith in the power of their Messiah did not make them immune to pain and suffering. Mary, Martha and Lazarus had become close friends with Jesus and together they believed in Jesus’ divinity and his ability to bring about the final resurrection. This family had faith, and yet they still experienced the pain of living in a broken world.

When Mary hears that Jesus was near, she ran to him, overcome with grief. The same woman who in love, poured perfume at Jesus feet (John 11:2) was now pouring her heart out with tears and words of anguish:

When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:32)

Hear the unfiltered sorrow and exasperation in her voice. Like a helpless child, Mary falls at the Lord’s feet and surrenders all her thoughts and emotions. There could even be a hint of bitterness and anger. Where were you God, when Lazarus died? Do you even care? Do you actually love us? Mary’s words show no pretence. She has faith that Jesus has the power to carry her burdens and accept even the most broken parts of her heart.

Now the most remarkable part of this story is how the Son of God responds to this scene of death and mourning. Although Jesus is the Author of Life, and fully sovereign over sin and death, he allows his spirit to be troubled and moved. Jesus knows that Lazarus will resurrect in glory but he allows himself to grieve the passing of a friend he loved, and to shed tears of empathy and sorrow.

Our faith may fortify our pain with hope, but it does not make it hurt any less. In his humanity, Jesus shows us how to walk with someone lovingly through a valley.

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Jesus doesn’t dismiss Mary’s tears. He doesn’t invalidate her concerns or rebuke her for lacking faith. He doesn’t even try to teach her the theology of the resurrection. Instead, he displays empathy, compassion and mercy. He shows us a tender spirit that’s willing to “mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). In his mercy, Jesus makes safe space for our tears and brokenness.

While society tells us to put on a brave face, Jesus shows us that true courage admits pain. True courage feels sorrow. True courage is surrendering to the One who measures our tears (Psalm 56:8), who is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). In a world that shames us for hurting, Jesus shows us that on this side of eternity there are moments that are worthy of our tears even if we have faith in the day where every tear will be wiped away. The next time you feel alone in your pain, remember that Mercy hears our cries and he tenderly weeps with us.

Verses For Meditation:

Romans 12:14–16 Psalm 34:18 Psalm 56:8

Reflection Questions:

1.How does Jesus’ response to Mary’s grief inspire or challenge you? 2.How does knowing that ‘Jesus wept’ inspire or challenge you? 3.What is one thing you are grieving right now? Write it down. 4.In what ways are you committed to “mourn with those who mourn”. 5.What are some practical things you can do to make space for the tears and grief of others? 6.What are some practical things your church community can do to make space for the tears and grief of others?

Prayer:

Praise God for hearing our prayers and that he is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Confess the burdens that are causing you grief, sadness or pain. Ask God for healing and comfort. Ask for strength to persevere. Praise God for the hope of eternity where every tear will be wiped away.

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Mary

T H E W O M A N W H O W A S T E D O N J E S U S

“Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me.” (Mark 14:6)

Read: Luke 10:38–42; Mark 14:1–11

Obnoxious. Wasteful. Reckless.

By human standards Mary’s sacrifice was ‘too much’. She could have sold her perfume and donated money to the poor. Instead, she recklessly poured a year’s worth of wages down the drain–all for Jesus’ sake! Her sacrifice was motivated by love, and yet she was rebuked for investing in the wrong place.

Mary had developed a reputation for being wasteful. Her sister Martha had once rebuked her for being unhelpful and unproductive. Jesus came over for a meal and Martha sprang into action to tick off the items in her to-do list. Her sense of accomplishment welled with each completed task, but it also made her resentful of Mary who was sitting at Jesus’ feet! How lazy! There was so much to be done, and yet Mary was distracted by Jesus’ teachings! How unhelpful and unproductive!

But instead of praising Martha for her ‘productivity’, Jesus helps her to see that she is in fact the ‘distracted’ one who is plagued by many worries. Busyness makes for a terrible god because its demands are endless. The sense of accomplishment never lasts. It tempts us to proudly compare our ‘good works’ with others, while at the same time, wondering if we’ve ever done enough. Instead, Jesus praises the woman who is still–the one who sits humbly at his feet to soak in his word. Mary is commended for making margins in her schedule in order to ‘waste time’ listening to the One she loves.

In Mark 14, Wasteful Mary is once again rebuked for her obnoxious outpouring of love for her saviour, and yet Jesus echoes the same sentiments as before. She has chosen what is better. She has done a beautiful thing. In God’s kingdom, being busy is not necessarily better or more beautiful. Jesus had warned the disciples many times that his brutal death was coming, and yet their hearts were distracted. Judas was blinded by greed, and the others by tasks and productivity. While the disciples devalue Jesus’ presence, Mary sees the extent of his worth. He is the Lord and Messiah and his value has no limit. Mary’s heart is brimming with love and devotion, so that when she hears of Jesus’ departure, it overflows in an extravagant outpouring of wasteful worship. It’s a beautiful thing.

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This story shows us that spiritual ‘success’ is not measured by our external performance or tangible outcomes. Entry into his kingdom is not a competition for the competent. Jesus measures our success by the state of our hearts–and for many, this is a divine mercy. It’s mercy for the sick and bed-bound. It’s mercy for the forgetful child and the disabled senior. It’s mercy for the anxious and depressed. It’s mercy for the needy and vulnerable. It’s mercy for the weary who are prone to wander. It’s mercy for sinners.

The human soul is finite, destined to bloom one day and to wither the next. There will be an hour when our body will no longer be capable of productivity and our staggered breath will be sustained by a divine thread of grace. In our hour where flesh fails, we only need to ‘be still’ at our Saviour’s feet, and to follow the voice that has promised to bring us home. In that hour, will his voice be familiar because you ‘wasted time’ to hear him speak, or will it be foreign because you spent your life distracted by many things?

Jesus is quick to receive a humble and devoted heart, and our devotion is never a waste–it will be received and remembered. So whether your perfume jar is empty or full, let me encourage you to pour it onto Jesus–the one of infinite value. Let your love for Jesus compel ‘wasteful’ sacrifice and to prioritise stillness in his presence. Regardless of what our culture pitches as productive or helpful, know that your love and labour for the Lord is never wasted. It is better and beautiful.

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Verses For Meditation:

Psalm 46:10 1 Corinthians 15:58 Matthew 11:28–30

Reflection Questions:

1.How does Mary’s example of ‘wasteful’ worship inspire you? 2.How does Jesus’ correction of Martha and the disciples challenge you? 3.When have you felt as though your sacrifices for Jesus are a waste of time, money or effort? 4.How does this story change your perspective of productivity? 5.What spiritual disciplines can you put in place to ensure that you’re making time to hear from Jesus and his word?

Prayer:

Praise God that our sacrifices for the Kingdom have eternal value. Confess the ways in which your heart has been too busy or distracted for the things that truly matter. Confess the times you have judged other people for their lack of productivity. Ask God to help you redefine productivity and to prioritise activities that are ‘better’ and ‘beautiful’.

P A G E 1 9 | M E E T I N G M E R C Y Why are you– a creature of dust, holding the world on your feeble shoulders?

Why do you burden yourself with sovereignty, when the throne of grace awaits your coming?

Have you lost your capacity for wonder? Have you forgotten the works of His hands?

Be still– for Mercy hears you in silence, is with you in solitude, and has walked before you into realms unknown.

(be still)

The Adulterous Woman

S H I E L D E D B Y M E R C Y

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11)

Read: John 8:1–11

Caught. Exposed. Defenceless.

Yesterday, her lusts were an invisible battle fought behind closed doors. Today, they have become a public spectacle for the masses. Bringing her to trial, the Pharisees and scribes sneer at the sinner, their religious hearts beating viciously to the rhythm of Mosaic Law. They interrupt Jesus who was teaching at the temple courts, demanding that he give an answer for the consequences of her actions:

“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. (John 8:3–5)

They had seen the ways that Jesus gained influence. His words were truthful but always tender, and it left their hearts tormented with envy. Together they crafted the perfect plan, hoping to trap Jesus into making a choice between mercy or justice. If the woman is stoned, then Jesus is not merciful. If she is released, then the Law is dismissed and justice is compromised. This was a foolproof plan crafted by intelligent men who were thirsty to nail Jesus to a cross.

But the Judge was not rattled. He turns the tables by drawing out what is invisible to man. Let the one without sin be the first to throw a stone. Under his divine eye, hidden sins and private skeletons are brought forward. All spiritual superiority is suddenly silenced as Jesus shows us that neither the sinner nor the smug are welcome in his kingdom. His words are sharper than human wit or any double-edged sword.

One by one, the accusers walk away until only the woman and Jesus remain. The sinner before the sinless. Standing trial before a divine Judge, the accused braces herself for the impact of hard stones, but instead is shielded by the tenderness of mercy. The sinless One who is qualified to cast the first stone relents. “Then neither do I condemn you” (John 8:11).

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In light of her sin, his forgiveness may seem scandalous. Any victim of unfaithfulness can testify to its pain. Is this passage a licence for sin or for grace so cheap that we can continue to hurt others without condemnation? Let’s be clear. Jesus may be slow to judge, but he is quick to call sinners to repentance. Jesus cares for justice but he also cares for mercy. He knows that humans are incapable of obeying the Law perfectly, so even though he lived a sinless life without fault–it was he who carried the weight of our condemnation to the cross.

Dragged into the public square, it was the merciful King who was accused of sin and became a public spectacle before the masses. The One who once silenced the wits of men remained silent in humiliation and false testimony. Pierced by thorns and nails, He who knew no sin became sin on our behalf, to show us that in his death– justice and mercy meet.

Before a holy judge, no one is righteous (Romans 3:10), and yet in Jesus, the gift of righteousness is ours to have (Romans 5:17). On the last day, when our demons threaten to drag us into the public square, we can be confident that there is “no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). At the cross, neither mercy nor justice is compromised, and it is against this backdrop of divine love that Jesus commands his people: “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11).

In view of God’s mercies, what will you leave behind today?

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Verses For Meditation:

Leviticus 19:14–15 Romans 3:19–22 Galatians 2:16

Reflection Questions:

1.How does Jesus’ protection and mercy shown towards the adulterous woman make you feel? 2.How does Jesus’ instructions to the Pharisees challenge you? 3.In view of God’s mercy shown to you at the cross, what thoughts, attitudes or actions do you want to leave behind today? 4.Can you think of an ‘adulterous’ man or woman in your life? How does this story shape the way you are to interact with him or her?

Prayer:

Praise God for his mercies shown to sinners, and that there is now no condemnation for those who believe in Jesus. Confess any thoughts, attitudes, or actions that are displeasing to God. Confess the ways in which you have judged others without mercy. Ask God for a heart that is tender and merciful towards others. Ask for help to leave behind your life of sin.

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The Unfaithful Friends

H E L O V E D T O T H E E N D

Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. (John 13:1)

Read: John 13:1–38

At what point do you decide to trust someone? I have always been a trusting person who sees the world with rose-coloured glasses, and while I have never had a shortage of friends, my naivety has often left me crushed by feelings of disappointment and betrayal. As I have grown older, I have learned to better guard my heart with a healthy dose of scepticism– after all, trust needs to be earned.

When I first heard the call to follow Jesus and to trust in his word, my walls immediately flew up to guard my brittle and suspicious heart. The gods of success, popularity and romance had failed me miserably–what was to say that Jesus was any different? The more I encountered Jesus through Scripture, I realised that he is different to anyone I had ever met. Jesus doesn’t initiate relationships as a naïve optimist. He has the supernatural ability to know strangers by name and to see the depths of their hearts. Jesus isn’t tricked by masks and walls, intelligent words or good works. He knows that the people he loves are finite and flawed–capable of selfishness, denial and betrayal–and yet he makes the radical promise to love them to the end (John 13:1).

This promise shows me that Jesus didn’t come into our world to benefit himself, nor does he try to profit from his relationships. During the Last Supper, Jesus shares a final meal with his inner circle of disciples who had pledged their allegiance to following him. Jesus knew that the hour of his death was near (John 13:1) but rather than worry about his impending suffering, Jesus uses his final hours to prioritise service to others and in doing so, modelling divine faithfulness towards unfaithful people.

What makes this scene truly remarkable is that Jesus does all of this knowing that his closest friends would soon betray him. Jesus predicts that Peter would deny him three times (John 13:28) and that Judas would betray him for a bag of gold (John 13:21,26). Instead of using this knowledge to conquer his enemies with a mighty sword, the King of Kings walks into the Last Supper armed with only a towel and the humble initiative to wash their feet. Peter is shocked by the suggestion (John 13:8) because the practice of feet-washing was reserved for the lowest of slaves and yet it serves as a powerful preview of a greater sacrifice to come.

While humans will make conditional sacrifices and calculated risks in relationships, Jesus is so faithful to his people that he is willing to risk his life for them. Shortly after the Last Supper, Jesus is strung up on a Roman cross and feels such excruciating pain that his soul cries out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34) These words are a

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distressed cry of a soul in hell–abandoned and rejected by the God of Love. At the cross, Jesus took the punishment for our unfaithfulness to God. He was stripped naked so that my hypocrisy would never be exposed, he was mocked so that I would never be shamed, and he was forsaken so that in spite of all my flaws, I would never be cut off from God, the source of eternal love and life.

The Last Supper is a picture of divine love, where the Merciful Master would lay down his life for his servants ahead of his crucifixion. When I fix my eyes on the wounds of my Saviour, it empowers me to trust and surrender. Who else can claim to know me in all my unfaithfulness and still choose to love me to the end?

Verses For Meditation:

Romans 5:8 Romans 8:38–39 Philippians 2:5–8

Reflection Questions:

1.In what circumstances are you tempted to betray or deny knowing Jesus? Give examples. 2.How do the weaknesses of Peter and Judas challenge you? 3.How has Jesus displayed his faithfulness to you in your life? Give examples. 4.How does being fully known and fully loved by Jesus make you feel?

Prayer:

Praise God for being a promise-keeper who is always faithful towards unfaithful people. Confess any areas of weakness that could lead to denial or betrayal. Ask for protection against temptation and the ability to stand firm in your faith. Ask for the ability to trust and follow Jesus to the very end.

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Peter

T H E C O W A R D R E D E E M E D B Y L O V E

“...do you love me?” (John 21:17)

Read: Luke 22:54–62; John 21:15–17

In 2015, a data breach of Ashley Madison, a website enabling extramarital affairs caused a rift of broken marriages across Australia. It was a devastating scandal that placed sin in the public eye, exposed hidden desires and dragged names through the mud. The data breach shocked the nation because it exposed the fragility of human love and made us question whether ‘forever’ love was even possible. All the while, the public were encouraged to look at those who had fallen and to crucify their name.

In Luke 22, we read a similar love story of betrayal and exposure, which ends with a look and crucifixion. Peter’s blatant denial of ever knowing Jesus is recorded in all four gospels, however Luke’s account includes a unique detail. Ahead of the crucifixion, Peter was given three opportunities to pledge his allegiance to Jesus, but instead of standing by the One he claimed to love, he joins the chorus of mockers, and rejects Jesus three times with increasing resentment.

I don’t know what you’re talking about!

I’m not a disciple!

I don’t know him!

The rooster crows, and Jesus who stands alone in the fight ring of false accusations turns to look at Peter (Luke 22:61). Is there anything worse than the look of someone you failed to love? Peter had promised to follow Jesus to prison and to death (Luke 22:33), but when the rubber hit the road, his heart wavered in fear. While Jesus stands boldly on trial before powerful authorities, the questioning of a simple servant girl shakes Peter to the core. Her interrogation unveils the truth of his allegiances. The Devil finds a foothold and Peter fails spectacularly.

How painful to be seen by Jesus in such a light. Peter could lie through his teeth before human questioning, but with one look he was humbled before the Lord. He remembers Jesus’ words and accepts that he was right the whole time. Jesus had warned Peter of the fragility of his faith (Luke 22:31) but he had refused to hear. After all, Peter had stood in Jesus’ inner circle. He had performed miracles and exorcised demons in Jesus’ name. He had bravely

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struck Jesus’ enemies with a sword. Peter was bold and brave. Surely, he would never sink as low as to deny the Messiah. Surely, the Apostle Peter wasn’t capable of such evil. Surely?

Peter responds to the Lord’s look with bitter despair and he runs away and weeps. This story is tragic, but what we have to remember is that the Lord doesn’t look at us in the same way humans do. Jesus wasn’t surprised by Peter’s denial because he has the power to peer into the depths of our hearts. Jesus sees our hidden fears and shameful lusts. He sees our inconsistencies and lack of faith. He sees our lack of love. But unlike the Devil who prowls to devour, Jesus looks at sinners with divine and holy love. He sees our sin with compassion and he protects our names from being dragged through the mud. Instead, Jesus goes to the cross to be exposed, shamed, and crucified on behalf of his unfaithful bride.

How strong is your faith and affection for Jesus? No matter how bold you felt when you first met Jesus, feelings are fickle and the honeymoon phase will end. Time will unravel the inconsistencies, weaknesses and temptations of the heart. The Devil prowls. No matter who you are, we are all capable of betraying the Lord we claim to love. When Peter was exposed, he ran away from Jesus and wept bitterly, but this need not be our response. Jesus bore the consequences of human sin, but he also conquered death so that there is now no condemnation for those who put their trust in him (Romans 8:1).

The exposure of unfaithful spouses from the Ashley Madison data breach is a mere foretaste of the spiritual reality that is to come. On the Day of judgment, the true nature of our love for God will be exposed for all to see. No skeleton or secret will be able to escape the spotlight. It’s a scary thought, but if your faith is in Jesus, you can trust that on that day, you will be seen with eyes of mercy. Unlike us, Jesus never succumbed to temptation and he will never betray those he loves. He has already nailed our lowest moments of betrayal and cowardice to the cross so that like Peter, we can be forgiven and restored to the Father.

Do you love Jesus?

Will you run towards him for mercy?

Verses For Meditation:

Psalm 25:7 John 3:16–17 Romans 5:6–8

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Reflection Questions:

1.How does knowing that Jesus is unconditionally faithful to you make you feel? 2.How does being seen by Jesus in your best and worst moments make you feel? 3.Who or what threatens your allegiance to Jesus? Share an example. 4.In your fight against sin and temptation, is your first reaction to run towards or away from Jesus? What truths about God’s character will help you to turn towards Jesus in confession?

Prayer:

Praise God for his loyalty and faithfulness to his people. Praise God for his mercies shown to us in temptation, weakness and failure. Ask for protection against sin and temptation, and that the Spirit will help you remain alert and sober minded. Ask for the ability to love God with all your heart, mind and soul and that his love for you will empower boldness in faith.

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The Criminal

W E L C O M E D I N T O P A R A D I S E

“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43)

Read: Luke 23:32–43

If you were on your deathbed, what would your last words reflect? Love for your family and friends? A life of regret? A passion for a special cause? Jesus once taught that ‘the mouth speaks what the heart is full of’ (Luke 6:45). Our words reveal our motives, desires and the things that are important to us. Most days, I am able to filter my words so that they reflect well on my personhood. On other days, a stubbed toe or burnt toast is enough to open the gates of bitter profanities. How do your choice of words reflect upon your heart?

In this story, we get a glimpse into the hearts of three men in their last moments on earth. When the time came for his crucifixion, Jesus was taken to Golgotha (also called The Skull) to be executed between two criminals. All three men are sentenced to a slow and excruciating death. With the weight of their bodies collapsing upon nails driven through their nerves, there would have been no filter for the tongue. Between the groans and screams, the state of each man’s heart for God would have been laid bare for all to see.

While one criminal is fearless with his insults and abuse, the other remains hushed with fearful reverence. While one doubts the power of Jesus to save, the other has faith and asks to be remembered in the kingdom to come. One spat hatred and bitterness, the other spoke with humility and faith. In this story, both criminals were deserving of punishment–but while one lived and died as an enemy of God, the other lived and died as a recipient of mercy.

“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43)

The third person in this story is Jesus himself with his last words showing us a heart of divine mercy. Unlike the two criminals, Jesus was innocent so his death was undeserved. Jesus had been crucified in the place of Barrabas–a notorious criminal who had been charged with murder but was set free at the request of the Jews (Luke 23:17-19). It was a sick injustice–but even with nails in his hands and a crown of thorns pressed into his temples, Jesus was not concerned about guarding his own life. Although he had every right to express righteous anger, he chose to bear the punishment of human sin. His life for Barrabas. The innocent for the guilty.

Even at the height of pain, suffering and injustice, Jesus uses his final words to extend divine mercy: “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

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There is no clearer picture of God’s heart. Although Jesus feels unbearable anguish and knows that hell awaits, what overflows from his heart is compassion for criminals and a desire to welcome his enemies and mockers home.

Now, most of us aren’t criminals like Barrabas. Not many of us have done things that are punishable by death. But do we believe that God’s mercy is a gift, or do we secretly feel entitled to a saviour? Do we believe that we are sinful, or do we secretly think that God is being way too harsh? The criminal welcomed into paradise feared God with reverence because he could see the gravity of his sin in light of God’s holiness. In his final hours of suffering, instead of being angry at God for his punishment, he questioned the punishment of Jesus–the innocent one. The criminal acknowledged that death is what sin deserves, and because Jesus was sinless, his crucifixion was the greatest injustice of all. Jesus didn’t deserve death, and the criminal didn’t deserve paradise, and yet in this story both received what they didn’t deserve because Jesus extended divine mercy.

In pain and suffering, I often get caught up with asking why bad things happen to ‘good’ people but the reality is, in the words of R.C. Sproul, “it only happened once, and He volunteered.” This truth always humbles me and works to transform my complaint into confession and my whinging into worship. When the time comes, what will your last words be?

Verses For Meditation:

Isaiah 53:9 2 Corinthians 5:21

Reflection Questions:

1.How does the example of the criminal in paradise inspire you? 2.How does the example of the criminal who insulted Jesus challenge you? 3.In pain and suffering or when things don’t go your way, how do your words (or lack of words) reflect your perspective towards God? 4.What about God’s character inspires fearful reverence?

Prayer:

Praise God for his mercy and compassion towards sinners deserving of death. Confess any anger, resentment or bitterness that you feel towards God or others. Ask God for the humility to see your own sin accurately in light of God’s holiness and that it will empower you to respond in awe and worship.

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Thomas

T H E S C E P T I C W H O T O U C H E D G O D ' S S C A R S

“Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29)

Read: John 20:19–29

Jesus claimed to be many things: God’s son, the Messiah, the forgiver of sins, the only way to heaven. How can we know for sure? Meet Thomas, the disciple in search of Truth. He had committed his life to following Jesus–the One who was powerful enough to raise Lazarus from the dead and yet somehow, the ‘Saviour’ of the world was ripped to shreds on a Roman cross. Hope was crucified. How could this be? Was he a fool for putting his trust in Jesus?

After the disciples run to him with a testimony of seeing the resurrected Jesus, Thomas refuses to believe. He still remembers what he had seen at the cross and describes with vivid detail the scars of a dead god. He refuses to believe just because everyone else does. Rather, he emphatically states that unless he sees the nail and spear marks with his own eyes, he will not believe.

“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” – John 20:25

Thomas was quick to voice his doubts and scepticism and Jesus extends mercy by giving him spiritual eyes to see. When Jesus appears to Thomas, he doesn’t shame him for his skepticism or rebuke his sin of unbelief (Romans 14:23). He doesn’t say “I told you so!” Instead, Jesus tenderly invites Thomas to not only see, but to touch the nail marks on his hands, and the spear wound on his side. Thomas needed evidence for his faith, and Jesus patiently offered it to him. Jesus is merciful to sceptics and doubters because he never commands blind faith. It is only after Thomas has seen and touched the evidence that Jesus instructs him to stop doubting and to believe (John 20:27).

Twelve years ago, when I was searching for answers around Christianity, I remember feeling frustrated that others seemed to understand something that I couldn’t. Why was it so easy for others to put their faith in Jesus, when it all seemed like an impossible fairytale to me? People kept telling me that Jesus was the way, the truth and the life, but I just couldn’t bring myself to put my faith in the words of an ancient book. What’s wrong with me? Why do I have to be so difficult?

Then one night, I asked God to reveal himself to me. I asked for evidence. “God if you’re real, reveal yourself to me.” It was a simple prayer that was loaded with doubt and a desperate search for truth. How can I know for sure? In the months that followed, God began

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to soften my stubborn heart with evidence from his word. I had read the Bible many times as a teenager–only to be bored to death by the irrelevant words of an ancient book. It doesn’t even apply to me–or so I thought.

After asking Jesus for evidence, he began to open the eyes of my heart while the Spirit gave me fresh ears to hear his voice. Although I had believed that God’s kingdom rejected women like me, Jesus revealed his mercies through the pages of the Bible to the point where I finally learned to surrender my life into merciful hands that were wounded for me–the very same hands that had shown up to reassure Thomas.

Jesus warns the reader that not everyone will see his body, and not all who see will respond in love and faith. Judas saw Jesus’ divinity–and yet he worshipped money instead. I have never touched Jesus’ scars or heard an audible voice and yet I am comforted by the promise that “blessed is the one who has not seen”, but in light of the given evidence, still chooses to believe (John 20:29).

There is a reward to unseen faith, but faith will not eliminate doubt. So when we struggle in the unknown, to whom or where will we turn? Will we try to figure it out by personal willpower and intellect? Will we attempt to fake it till we make it? Will we allow our minds to disappear into rabbit holes of data and research? Jesus was merciful to Thomas and quick to reveal himself in a manner that would lead to faith. In light of this testimony, will we turn to Jesus with our questions, and ask him for the desire and ability to believe?

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Verses For Meditation:

Hebrews 11:1–2 1 Peter 1:8–9 Philippians 4:6–7

Reflection Questions:

1.Has Jesus revealed himself to you? Name the ways that he has done so. 2.In the unknown, who or where do you turn to for answers and reassurance? 3.What doubts do you have in regards to the Christian faith? 4.What is stopping you from putting your faith in the risen Jesus?

Prayer:

Praise God for revealing both truth and mercy to us through the Bible. Confess your doubt and disbelief. Ask God for the desire to hear from his word and for the ability to understand it and to apply it to your life. Ask God for His promised peace that transcends understanding and that He will be the source of your reassurance and confidence in life.

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Saul

T H E G O O D G U Y W H O G O T I T A L L W R O N G

“Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” (Acts 9:4)

Read: Acts 9:1–22

After all these years, I still find it laughable that the majority of the New Testament was penned by a murderous man who once despised Jesus and his followers. The same man who wrote “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” had once tried to destroy the church through stoning Jesus’ disciples (Acts 8:1), imprisoning believers (Acts 8:3), and making murderous threats (Acts 9:1). His name was Saul, the ‘good guy’ who got it all wrong.

Prior to his conversion, the Apostle Paul was once named Saul. He was a man who had every reason to believe that he was favoured by God because he was spiritually superior. His resume was impressive, with both his Jewish ancestry and obedience to Jewish Law faultless to a tee:

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless. (Philippians 3:4–6)

In other words, he was the ‘perfect’ Jew and he wasn’t going to put up with anyone who threatened his religion of self-righteousness. Now that the ‘King of the Jews’ was buried, it was time to exterminate his believers. This was a high calling from God–or so he thought.

One day, Saul leaves his home with anger surging through his veins and murder beating through his chest. He had a zealous goal: to find and destroy Jesus’ disciples and anyone who belonged to the Way (Acts 9:1–2). As he neared Damascus, he was suddenly blinded by a heavenly light and confronted for his actions. Although this confrontation may seem extreme, it is actually an act of divine mercy. Jesus loved his enemies, and not only did he call Saul by his name (Acts 9:4), he mercifully revealed himself to his persecutor to give him an opportunity to repent of his murderous ways (Acts 9:5).

Although blinded for three days, Saul knew that he had seen divine mercy. Can you imagine both the surprise and horror that he would have felt? How could a ‘good’ guy like himself get it all so wrong? But this story exists to show us that God’s grace doesn’t discriminate between ‘good’ and ‘bad’, Pharisees and sinners, Jews and Gentiles. In God’s eyes, the spiritual playing field is even: we all need mercy.

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Saul had left the house with the zealous goal to persecute the church but instead met the persecuted King who resurrected to claim his throne. He had woken with intent to kill disciples but instead, through the touch of a disciple is given spiritual eyes to see the error of his ways. Blinded for three days without food and water, Saul finally sees that his soul is hungry and parched, and that Jesus was in fact the source of Living Water and the Bread of Life.

Once Saul regains his vision he makes his way to the synagogues to preach that Jesus is the Son of God, and to prove to the Jews that he is the Messiah (Acts 9:20–22). In later books, we learn of his love for preaching the gospel to the Gentiles–a passion that places him in chains. Jesus uses Saul’s life to display the power of the Holy Spirit to transform a bloodbath into a baptism and a murderer into a missionary. How great are his mercies!

I wonder how many of us are zealous for God’s glory in the world, and yet are blind to the sin that grips our own hearts? How many of us preach the gospel to others, and yet remain spiritually blind, parched and hungry? Whether we are ‘good’ or ‘bad’, we all need to ask God for spiritual vision to see Jesus, to repent and to believe. We need to ask God to open our eyes to the darkness of our hearts–so that like Saul, our lives can be a testimony of God’s rich mercies towards sinners–of whom he is the worst:

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

(1 Timothy 1:15–16)

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Verses For Meditation:

Philippians 3:4–11 1 Corinthians 1:20–25 1 Corinthians 2:4–5

Reflection Questions:

1.How does the conversion of Saul to the Apostle Paul inspire you? 2.How does the rebuke of Saul on the road of Damascus challenge you? 3.In what ways are you tempted to believe that you are spiritually superior? 4.Give examples. 5.Are your ‘spiritual eyes’ unveiling any personal sins that are in need of God’s mercy?

Prayer:

Praise God for the gift of revelation through the Holy Spirit in giving sinners the spiritual eyes to repent and believe. Confess any areas of pride that have caused you to feel spiritually superior. Ask God to soften areas of your heart that may have hardened towards God or become desensitised to sin over time. Ask for a humble heart that is quick to confess and receives God’s mercies with joy and gratitude.

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The Bleeding Woman

N A M E D A D A U G H T E R

“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:34)

Read: Matthew 9:20–26

Have you ever experienced a trial that left you feeling like your life was being drained away? Day after day, the affliction rears its ugly head to chip away at your confidence and zest for life?

At the beginning of last year, I started cramping, vomiting, and then the heavy bleeding began. At first, I refused to see a doctor, believing that this was just an irregular period and something that would heal on its own. I have always been relatively healthy–surely, I was strong enough to fight this!

The bleeding didn’t stop. It got heavier and heavier. For months, I stubbornly grimaced through life with an invisible thorn that tormented me day and night. Until one day I found myself being whisked into the hospital’s emergency room with a battered body and a broken spirit. Maybe I’m not strong enough to fight this.

It’s taken me some time to voice my experience with others. In many ways, women’s health is still a taboo and foreign topic. How do you explain an invisible battle? How do you answer the hundredth person who asks when you’re finally going to have a baby? How do you grieve an intangible loss? For months, I felt like I was stuck in a pit of grief and guilt, until one day, the Bleeding Woman showed up to pull me back into the light.

The story of the Bleeding Woman is recorded in the gospels of Mark 5, Matthew 9 and Luke 8. I believe that her story is included in the Bible because God honours the unique challenges of women’s health. While issues of fertility and bleeding may make people squirm, the Bible vindicates the Bleeding Woman with a remarkable story of faith, hope, and redemption.

In the gospels, we learn that the Bleeding Woman suffered and bled for twelve long years. Despite using all her savings on medical fees, she was never healed.

She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. (Mark 5:26)

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To make matters worse, she lived in a time where her medical condition would have rendered her ritually ‘unclean’ (Leviticus 15:25–27), and anyone who touched her would become unclean as well. As news of her condition traveled across town, she would have been left socially and spiritually isolated. As gossip and fear spread, people would have avoided her like the plague. Bleeding and bankrupt–what hope is left for this woman?

Now this woman had never met Jesus, but she most likely would have heard of him from the reports of others. Jesus was gaining popularity through his miraculous healing and willingness to associate with those who were ‘unclean’: lepers, tax collectors, and even sinners (Matthew 9:11). Despite her suffering, the Bleeding Woman had faith in Jesus’ power and believed with certainty that she would be healed if she was to touch the edge of his cloak.

“If only I touch his cloak, I will be healed.” (Matthew 9:20)

One day, Jesus walks through her hometown and he becomes smothered by large crowds of people. It would have been a chaotic scene and the opportune moment for the desperate patient to sneak in unnoticed. She reaches out in faith, and with a single touch of his cloak, she is immediately healed from suffering.

As someone who is often quick to harden my heart in suffering, I admire her faith and conviction. She had faith that what was impossible for human doctors was possible for God, the Great Physician. While I bitterly accused God of being a life-taker, the Bleeding Woman had sure faith that Jesus was a life-giver. With a single touch, she is healed and freed from suffering.

“At once Jesus realised that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” (Mark 5:30)

But what actually makes this story interesting is that Jesus intentionally stops to identify this woman. As Jesus was surrounded by such a large crowd, the disciples were perplexed by the question and tried to usher him onward to tend to more important matters. However, as Jesus insists on identifying the woman she fearfully falls to his feet and comes clean with the truth.

“Then the woman knowing what had happened to her came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.” (Mark 5:33)

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Unlike Adam and Eve, who after eating the forbidden fruit hid from God and blamed one another, the Bleeding Woman publicly confesses her actions. She is willing to accept the consequences of touching Jesus while ritually unclean. I imagine her to be trembling on the floor, publicly exposed, and expectant of judgment and condemnation. But instead, this woman is washed with words of love and mercy:

“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5:34)

I believe that these words are the pinnacle of Jesus’ miracle and show us the primary goal of his ministry on earth. Her physical healing is merely a precursor to a greater spiritual healing. While a physical healing is miraculous, the peace that comes from good health is merely temporary. We all live in mortal and finite bodies that are subject to decay and death. The greater miracle in this story is her spiritual healing and the receiving of a new spiritual identity. She who was once unwelcome in society is now welcomed into the kingdom of God. She who was once unnamed and unknown is now a “Daughter”, a divine status that secures eternal peace between herself and God.

I still remember the day that these tender promises began to chip away at my hardened heart. Although my weakened body felt useless and broken, I was reminded that my soul is unbreakable. I am a daughter of Jesus who himself shed blood to make me whole. Even though Jesus healed the Bleeding Woman amidst large crowds of adoring fans, his life ended with betrayal, desertion and a humiliating death on a criminal cross. The death of an innocent man is a tragic reality, but in that moment, the Great Physician performed his greatest miracle of conquering death so that his patients could receive the gift of eternal life.

What gives me hope is that regardless of the changes to my body and the uncertainty of my future, one thing remains the same: I am God’s daughter. With every drop of blood, I remind myself that Jesus has shed more. With every pang of loneliness, I remind myself that Jesus is with me and for me. He was with me when I panicked in the hospital. He was with me when I wept alone on the bedroom floor. Like everyone else, my withering and mortal body is subject to decay and death but he promises to sustain me until the day he returns to bring me home.

There will be a day when Jesus returns, and my life will be called to account before a holy judge. While I’ll be tempted to hide in the shadows, his light will expose every motivation, thought, and deed. I may try to even the scales with my measly record of ‘good works’, but before a holy throne, even my best work will leave me smelling like filthy rags. Yet instead of facing condemnation and exclusion from God’s kingdom, I will be washed clean with words of divine mercy: “Daughter, your faith has healed you.”

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Immediately, my rags will be replaced with robes of righteousness. I will be welcomed to join in on the chorus of the saints as they praise God for his grace and mercy–and next to the lepers, tax collectors, sinners, and the Bleeding Woman, I will walk with a new body into an eternity where sickness, sin, and death will be no more. Now isn’t that the greatest hope and miracle of all?

Verses For Meditation:

Isaiah 53:4–5 Psalm 107:19–21 Psalm 103:2–4 Revelation 21:4

Reflection Questions:

1.How does the faith of the Bleeding Woman inspire or challenge you? 2.Are you in the midst of any trials that have left you feeling like your life is being drained away? Name them. 3.In what ways have you seen God bring healing or redemption to your circumstances– whether physical, emotional or spiritual? 4.What does faith in the mercies of Jesus look like in your current circumstances?

Prayer:

Praise God for his power over sin and sickness–and for his willingness to forgive and heal. Confess your current trials to God and cry out to him in faith. Ask for God’s will to be done in current circumstances. Praise God for having victory over sin so that tears, pain and death will not get the last word. Praise God for sending Jesus to secure for us an ending without ashes.

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The world's riches left me broke–its clutches crushed my soul, but along came Mercy, with a Hope to make me whole.

(and now I see)

P H O T O : K A T Z I A J A Z W I N K S A MEET THE AUTHOR

Heidi Tai is an Asian Australian writer, committed to sharing honest words from a hope-filled heart. She loves a strong coffee, getting lost in the Marvel universe and pumping 90’s R’n’B and Hip Hop beats. Heidi is married to Mikey, and together they planted Providence Church in Brisbane and host The Greater Story podcast.

Heidi is a regular contributor for online platforms such as The Gospel Coalition Australia and The Sola Network based in Los Angeles. Her story Closing The Cultural Gap was published in the 2018 Stories of Life Anthology and she is currently completing Lazy Susan, a memoir filled with short stories about faith, freedom and fried rice.

She shares stories about life, faith and culture at www.heiditai.com.

Connect with Heidi:

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