CHRISTMAS ISSUE EARPIECE COPY BUMPER FELIX Roiaes cat out X-mas card Free Pyvchedalic unstick. Food sappiement—the secret mix of the Mooosy chip! NEWSPAPER OF THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE STUDENTS UNION £55 Wednesday 13 DECEMBER 1967 Guilds A.Sc.W. Parking Row at Play Tuesday's meeting of C&G At a recent General Meeting of the College Branch of the uirriii members opened late as Association of Scientific Workers, the technicians union, it was tradition c'eminds. There were decided that individual members should write to the Chairman of the the usual prof tit ion of paper Board of Governors, Lord Sherfield, to request the opening of nego- darts nvi shouts of Up, Up, but tiations on parking, between the college and the A.Sc.W. The union no Selkirk cushions. After the believes that the college's parking proposals have not been properly unptessaittnes; of the minutes of thought out and that they have a scheme which is fairer, more the previous meeting and Morphy practical and less costly to operate. They are determined that the college plan shall not go through and intend to use all possible means Bav had been read, the treasurer at their disposal to stop it. proudly claimed that C&G had m: tic a substantial loss during An A.Sc.W. agreement with IC outlines procedures for neg6tia- the previous year, mainly due to tions on terms and conditions of service—but the Rector, Lord the president's large capacity ! Penney, does not consider this covers amenity questions, such as parking, and has refused to negotiate separately with any section of r 4 ^MA % Then followed the election of the college. the ICWA rep. All candidates Last vear the Parkin" Commit- were proposed by Dermott Corr tee recommence'' *b»t thpre In an exchange of letters with in order to dispel doubts about should be no charee for narkine the Rector, Mr. Fairbrother has his sexual leaning. In the ensu- places and that a central com- outlined his plans and pressed for ing riot Randy Niandy's hair mittee should allocate places on serious consideration of them, but tipped the balance against the basis of greatest need, re- so far to no avail. Mysza's figure and she was intro- gardless of whether the applicant duced to her duties during the .nsuing darkness. When the was staff, student or technician " paris-in " and regardless of which depart- victorious Morphy and Lowry ment he belonged to. Sir Own boat crews had been awarded Saunders, who was then acting In actual fact, the difficult their colours, Dick James an- Rector asked the parking com- over provision of parking spac nounced that the carnival collec- mittee to reconsider his recom- should never have arisen, as GLX tion had totalled more than RCS mendation for an annual £5 park- planning regulations require on & RSM's together and added that ing charge and they threw it out car space to be provided for ever anyone who had not heard his again. Perhaps it is significant 2,000 square feet floor space c voice should join the carol sing- that the student and A.Sc.W. new office block. In the case c ing party on Friday. Chris members, representing nearly the new college block, this wuulc ODonncii followed this up by 4,000 people, were particularly have meant that 900 space; pointing out that the unplanned against a parking fee. When Lord should have been available to series of non-events for non- Penney took up office as Rector car owners in the college, and a enjoyment had betn a complete this term he reconstituted the there are only about 850 car users success, particularly since IC is parking committee, pushing the problem would have been now banned from all London Mr. Harry Fan-brother, branch secretary of the A-Sc.W. and Maths swimming baths. through plans for departmental solved for many years to come. Lecturer at I.C. allocation of parking spaces and However, Mr. Fairbrother has There then followed three ex- the £5 charge. ascertained that, under pressure O uonnell Drunken Drama group. from the UGC, the college asked The first portrayed a controver- for, and was granted, exemption sial ogre being seasick over his from this requirement. As a spiral beanstalk through over in- Superior plan result, only 400 spaces are avail- dulging in gin. The foulmouth able, a number totally inadequate Selkirk Search claimed it was his first bite for for a college of this size, and when weeks, but those who peep the Architectural Association The Warden of Selkirk Hall, Mr. Seaford, has at last carried out through key'oles find tis'ard to Mr. Harrv Fairbrother. branch come to IC the problem will get his threatened early Sunday morning " cushion hunting " raid on the believe. The second was way secretary of the A.Sc.W. and a worse rather than better. Hall residents. above most people's heads and tectum in the Maths department, On Saturday 2nd December there was a party on a landing in the third; a trial of two " span- and Mr. Sic-s. A.cc.W.. repre- In view of the A.Sc.W.'s wide Selkirk Hall. At about 1.00 a.m. while it was still going strong Mr. ner " bearers accused of losing sentative on the parking commit- Seaford came down and warned those present that he would have a their tool was beautifully obscene. tee, are understandably annoyed knowledge of parking problems, through their traffic committee, "cushion hunting" expedition early the following morning having They were aauitted much to the at this undemocratic action, and previously warned residents that he would inspect rooms without surprise of all present especially intend to fight it to the end. They it seems odd that greater atten- tion has not been paid to their warning if cushions continued to disappear. Two of the residents the " Ioveable" vice-president, are particularly incensed that the proposals. The main body of were, according to eye witness accounts, so intoxicated as to be not whose self-incriminating evidence charge does not cover the cost of A.Sc.W. members will fight them responsible for their actions—and two girls stayed the remainder of during the trial resulted in his providing parking places but will all the way with a number of the night in their rooms. hair being rather forcibly curled go towards other amenities, and measures they have worked out, by the new ICWA rep. and her are taking legal advice on whether assistant. culminating, in the very last re- tour de farce the college charter permits such sort, with a mass descent on the charges to be made for amenities. parking spaces, which they will At 6.20 a.m. Mr. Seatord woke George Assimakis, Secretary of The provision of the Prices and occupy, more or less permanently Selkirk Hall Committee, requesting him to accompany him on an Mooney reported Incomes Bill—invoked frequently without paying. The A.Sc.W. inspection of residents' rooms, searching for the missing cushions. by the college during negotiations have heard that the college has Surprisingly enough, no cushions were found. However, the two girls on wages and holidays—are also taken legal advice and found out were; although in one case the couple were fully dressed. to W.C. being studied. Other universities that if cars occupy parking space On Monday morning, 3rd year throughout the country—includ- without permission or without dence Committee who happens to Physicist, Dave Bowater, and ing Aberdeen, Essex and South- paying, they are powerless to be the Domestic Bursar, Mr. Union refectory complaints officer ampton—are said to be introduc- move them. This may well be Committee over-ruled Seaford. Roy Allen w it to st*. Mr ing charges for parking, and Go- wishful thinking, but the techni- Mooney, the lefectory manager, vernment pressure is suspected. cians are willing to risk it. Once the discovery had been to get an explanation of why made, Mr. Seaford seems to have there was on one of the spoons At a Hall Committee meeting acted in the oYily way possible. a mould-like substance. Mr. Mr. Fairbrother, who was a As a footnote, it is interesting on the following evening it was He has, in fact, done more than Mooney said that this was nickel- member of the A.Sc.W. Traffic to examine the real reason for suggested by the residents that the he need, for he had made sure oxide and was caused by con- Committee, has vast experience having parkina meters in South two boys should be barred from that the two residents have ac- tinued contact with mayonnaise. in the field of parking control and Ken. If the proposed computer- Hall tiH the end of term and for the ceptable accommodation for next He said he did not know how the traffic flow and is confident that controlled traffic scheme border- vacation and fined £5. Mr. .Sea- term. spoon had escaped the normal the A.Sc.W. parking scheme, ing the area breaks down and ford overruled them and said that burnishing process and that the which includes plans for a one- traffic jams result, it is necessary the boys could remain in Hall till whole system of cutlery was being way traffic flow around the Col- to have some roads available on the end of term, but would not improved. lege Block area, is superior to the a Fail-safe basis for dispersing be allowed Hall residence after Tizard Beware Dave Bowater, who said that if official college plan and has few, these holduos.