GQ INTELLIGENCE ! Health The Totally Stressed-Out Man’s Guide to Hedge-fund managers do it. Seinfeld does it. The most successful, innovative men alive do it. (We’re talking sharks, not swamis.) So the question is: Should you cross your legs, close your eyes, and join in?  JOSH DEAN Meditation

HERE ARE A FEW TH INGS and I have in common: We both wear sneakers far more often than grown men should. We both adore the New York Mets and thus subject ourselves to undue misery. And we both sit quietly for twenty minutes twice a day, attempting to calm our minds. Seinfeld, presumably, is far better at it than I am. He’s been practicing Transcendental

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Meditation, or TM, for more than forty director —whose eponymous Ray Dalio is hardly the kind of guy who’d years. I’ve only recently taken it up. foundation is the driving force behind waste forty minutes of every day for forty Transcendental Meditation, if you’re not the recent boom in the popularity of TM years on a fad. I decided to kick TM’s tires. aware, is having something of a moment. in America, converting everyone from Despite being 5,000 years old and in the Oprah to Rupert Murdoch—says that his “ I F YOU’RE SKEPTICAL, fabulous! You public consciousness at least since 1968 twice-daily meditations give him “effort- should be. I was skeptical.” This is Bob (when traveled to India, took less access to unlimited reserves of energy, Roth talking. Roth is the executive direc- up meditating, and were so mind-blown creativity, and happiness deep within.” tor of the David Lynch Foundation, and that they wrote the White Album), TM But the name that jumped out most my TM teacher. He is a tall, slender man spent most of the past half century out on when I started looking at TM’s fans was with charcoal-colored hair and, at least the hippie fringe. If people thought any- Ray Dalio, founder and president of thing about it, it was that TM was weird Bridgewater, the world’s largest hedge and maybe kind of cultish. But a dedicated fund. Dalio is a superhero of the financial core of reasonable people have been prac- world. And what the 63-year-old has to say THE THING EVERYONE ASKS, ticing it all along, and their ranks keep about TM—which he started doing forty WHEN YOU SHARE THE NEWS swelling, so TM is now following the path years ago, in college—is not ambiguous: YOU’ VE TAKEN UP MEDITATING, of yoga—another import from India, once “I think meditation has been the single marginalized as a trifle for tempeh enthu- biggest reason for whatever success I’ve IS: DOES IT WORK? siasts—into the mainstream, where it can had.” This from the thirty-third-richest THE HONEST TRUTH IS, I THINK. safely be sampled by even self-conscious, man in America. risk-averse people like me. Over nearly forty years of living, I’d I’M NOT SURE. I CAN’ T TELL. “You know how your phone has a char- never once given meditation even the ger?” Seinfeld said last year, during an slightest consideration. Though I’m very appearance on Good Morning America. liberal and (I think) pretty open-minded, it in April, a healthy tan; he bears a slight “TM is like having a charger for your mind always seemed way too hippie-dippy and, resemblance to George Plimpton, but with and body.” , who says TM to a guy who struggles to sit still, like a form flashier teeth. Roth has been practicing helped him stay sober, calls it “a shower for of torture. But these weren’t the names of TM for forty-four years and teaching it your brain.” And gray-pompadoured film weirdos (aside from Russell Brand). And for forty-one. He took it up at the sugges- tion of a close friend but says that his ini- tial reaction was to recoil because of TM’s flower-power-y taint. “The thing I asked my teacher was, how much of this shit do I have to believe in for it to work? He said you can be 100 percent skeptical and it’ll still work.” Roth is generous with his smiles, and he shot me a big one. “The cool thing about this is you don’t have to believe in anything. There’s no philosophy.” Other forms of meditation require a far greater commitment and can be more difficult to adopt. They teach either extreme concentration (an intense focus on one particular thing, and only that thing) or contemplation (thinking as hard as you can about something, which is often referred to as mindfulness), but what makes TM so user-friendly is that you don’t have to do either. It’s easy— “effortless,” as Roth is fond of saying. You simply allocate twenty minutes of quiet time and use a mantra to liberate your mind from conscious thought and trigger the meditation. Mantras work, in theory, because they are essentially mean- ingless word sounds, and one is chosen by your teacher from a library of dozens that go back to TM’s ancient Vedic ori- gins. Once a mantra is given, it is never shared under any circumstances. (Mine sounds a little like kachong!—only not so much like kachong! that I’d ding my karma by telling you.) Roth was scheduled to run across mid- town to talk to a hedge fund whose founder wished to introduce the concept to his

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6 Things TM Makes You Better At

Becoming a person who meditates sounds New Age–y, but the science (in more than 340 peer-reviewed studies, and counting) suggests otherwise.—J.D.

! You’ll think more clearly. TM increases so-called brain-wave coherence, meaning that the different parts of the brain, which generate brain waves at different frequencies, are able to sync ○ Once you’ve these signals. learned to ! You’ll be less stressed and might live meditate, you longer. TM has been shown to decrease can do it the production of cortisol, the stress anywhere. hormone. Stress doesn’t just ruin days; Even in a cab. it’s a major cause of heart disease. ! You’ll be less of a dick. Studies in people are afraid to think independently, be sure that students are taught correctly. prisons have shown that inmates who and follow their instincts. Instead, their TM isn’t terribly complicated, but it’s very meditate are less violent and have decisions are based too much on external much analogous to yoga in that you could, markedly lower rates of recidivism. influences. “When you do that, you don’t technically, pick it up on your own, but ! You’ll be more organized. Test have your own sense and convictions,” he you’re going to end up doing it wrong, and subjects report an improved ability said. “TM has given me some sense of what you’ll suffer for it. Thus, proper instruc- to organize themselves, likely because my real inner feeling is about something.… tion is critical. brain coherence gives more control If I wasn’t practicing, I’d just be going “In TM, we learn how to give the atten- to the prefrontal cortex, home of the along with the crowd.” tion of the mind an inward direction rather so-called executive function. Stress than out there,” Roth said. “It’s like teach- and anxiety can overwhelm it. I LEARNED TO MEDITATE on an over- ing a child how to dive: Take the correct ! You might quit smoking or drinking or stuffed lounge chair in an otherwise bare angle and the rest is automatic. You don’t doing blow. credits TM interior office that might also have been an have to say, ‘Don’t stop.’ It’s just gravity.” with helping him quit a two-pack-per- old closet in its previous life. I’d imagined If TM is succeeding where all other med- day smoking habit. says it helped my TM lessons would be held someplace itations have failed, the reason is that it him get sober. Ditto Russell Brand. better smelling and more womblike, the seems to work. And the science backs that ! You’ll miss less work. When the kind of place that would encourage peace- up. To date, there have been more than 350 David Lynch Foundation implemented ful inward thinking. But one of the primary research studies into the benefits, and one a program based on TM at one of selling points of TM is that it’s easy to learn of the David Lynch Foundation’s primary San Francisco’s most notorious middle and practice. Once you’ve learned, Roth goals is taking those benefits to people who schools, suspensions dropped says, you can do it in a taxi. (And he has.) need it most—prisoners, victims of abuse, 50 percent. And the faculty took 30 Aside from a slightly hokey ceremony war veterans, underprivileged children. percent fewer sick days. that precedes the first lesson—which The most tangible result of practicing involved incense and Sanskrit and an apple TM is the way it reduces stress. If the only that Roth shyly apologized for with the thing it did was cause you to sit quietly employees, and I asked if I could tag along. explanation that it’s an ancient tradition with your eyes closed, this would reduce Nigol Koulajian, 46, is the owner of Quest meant to honor the teachers of the past— stress in your life, because it provides a Partners, a $850 million hedge fund. He what transpired was, as promised, simple forced break from the furious fire hose was exactly the kind of person I was most and lacking in bullshit. of data and stimulation blasting you on a curious to meet—a successful entrepre- The mechanics beyond the mantra are second-by-second basis. But TM’s effect neur in a very conservative business that not complicated, but like that magical appears to be far more powerful than that. doesn’t exactly encourage deviation from sound, they’re not to be shared. Students Some psychologists have taken to calling the norm. So why does he do it? of TM actually sign a paper stating that stress the “Black Plague of the twenty-first Koulajian works out, and does yoga, but what transpires between teacher and stu- century,” because it is a runaway condi- he later told me that TM is the most impor- dent is to be kept secret. In other words, tion with no obvious cure. Stress causes tant piece of his wellness regime: “I do it I can’t tell you exactly what my lessons— inflammation, weakens the immune sys- every day, no matter what. I feel like if I part of a lifetime membership with TM tem, and is a risk factor for all kinds of seri- don’t do it, then something in my actions that costs $1,200—taught me. This sounds ous health problems, from heart disease that day will not be of the same quality.” way shadier than it really is; it’s meant to to depression. TM has proven, over many He said that he’s come, over two decades protect TM from hucksters and charlatans studies, to cut stress and lower blood pres- of working in finance, to see that most barking lessons from mall kiosks, and to sure. It has been shown to ease depression,

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curb violent impulses, and lessen symp- Dalio’s experience. He says that it took teachers are, gentle and reassuring without toms of ADD and ADHD. It has even, as the him “a while, probably months” to get past taking himself or the subject too seriously. TM adherent and Oprah crony Dr. Mehmet meditations that were basically a tennis There’s an old saw about golf—that it Oz pointed out, been found to reduce skin match between conscious thoughts and the takes only one great shot in an otherwise lesions in some patients. mantra to a point “where I could clear my awful round to keep you coming back— Stress also affects the prefrontal cortex, mind of thoughts and start transcending.” and similarly, the meditations that work home of the higher brain and the source of Despite the fact that Roth had told best, that feel easy and pass quickly, make what is sometimes called executive func- me, repeatedly, not to use the mantra as you want to keep going. And those in par- tion; here lie judgment and problem solv- a club with which to bat away thoughts, I ticular do seem to provide more tangible ing. Being stressed causes us to make poor admitted that at times I was doing exactly benefits, in particular a more restful and decisions, and being under stress is a given that. And the worst part was that I was focused mind. I am finding myself able to of doing business. The power of TM, it quick to observe myself doing this, and concentrate more fully on the task at hand, seems, is in teaching the brain to maintain this would immediately cause me to com- to better adjust the volume on distract- what Ray Dalio, king of the hedge-fund mence thinking about all the ways I was ing background noise. Now, I still haven’t world, calls a “calm, clear-headed state.” doing it wrong. reached the ninja realms of Ray Dalio and He says that mastering TM made him feel Roth stared at me with no expression. David Lynch, and I’m skeptical that I ever “like a ninja,” so that problems come at “Are you enjoying it? Do you generally feel will. I can’t help myself. But that hasn’t him in slow motion. good after?” kept me from closing my eyes every day Bob Roth is of the belief that TM taps an I said that I did, nearly always. and saying something similar to, but not inner calm we all have, a calm that gives “Then don’t worry about it. This should exactly like, kachong! the brain a chance to settle and repair its be simple. It’s not like it only works if you frazzled neurons. During our first classes, do it, absolutely and without fail, for 20 josh dean is currently in the market for he was quick to point out that newbie med- minutes twice a day.” Roth was, as good a more comfortable meditating chair. itators can’t expect to achieve some perfect transcendent state. Thoughts occur and are expected, and you need not try to push them out. They are the manifestation of the ! It took a while for TM to lose its whiff brain shedding stress, he says, and they’re of patchouli and incense, but now just part of the process. The Tree of Ommmm that Rupert Murdoch has signed on, it’s “The hypothesis—and I love to tell clearly entered the mainstream.—LU FONG people that you don’t have to believe in it—is that every single human being has a level deep inside the mind that’s already MAHARISHI calm,” Roth said. “It was that way yester- MAHESH YOGI day, it’s there now, and it will be there Giggling guru to the Beatles THE Ob-La-Di, tomorrow. Everybody—the kid in the (and millions BEATLES Ob-La-Da. inner-city school, the skeptic working on of adherents). Ob-La-Di... a hedge fund—everybody’s got that. We’ve just lost access.”

THE TH ING EVERYONE asks you, when you share the news you’ve taken up medi- tating, is: Does it work? My wife in partic- ular liked to ask me this, and I tended to May the TM be with DAVID tell her one of these things: I think. I’m not you. GEORGE RAY LYNCH HOWARD sure. I can’t tell. The honest truth is that LUCAS DALIO Yogi to the stars. Really. STERN this is a very hard question to answer. (She also laughs at me—still!—every time I tell her I’m going to meditate.) The question I was still asking two YODA months after my first session, when I went for a follow-up, was about the mixed qual- ity of my meditations. Sometimes, when my mind is most at ease, and not preoc- cupied by thoughts—especially the annoy- ELLEN CLINT DEGENERES EASTWOOD ing meta-thoughts, such as “I wonder how GEORGE MARTIN RUPERT STEPHANOPOULOS SCORSESE OPRAH JERRY much time is left?”—the time flies by. TM MURDOCH .

SEINFELD S can be like a tour through your subcon- WINFREY scious, and in 20 minutes you can cover HUGH RUSSELL a lot of ground traipsing past the various JACKMAN MOBY BRAND CREDITL things agitating your psyche. It can also be A trippy, and I am sometimes startled to find Oprah’s favorite myself a few minutes into a lucid dream. thing! Other times, I struggle greatly. Then,

time crawls. I’d taken some relief in Ray ADDITION SEE

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