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Volume CXXXI, Number 4 Phillips Academy, Andover, Massachusetts February 22, 2008 ATTEMPTED COPPER THEFT; Three Arrested Medford Residents Hit SamPhil, Morse, Pearson on Monday and Tuesday

By JACK DICKEY and ZOE WEINBERG

The Andover Police Depart- ment has arrested three individu- als in connection with damage and attempted theft of copper downspouts—exposed piping that delivers water from gutters to the ground—on Samuel Phillips Hall, Morse Hall and Pearson Hall. The individuals, two males and one female from Medford, MA, were taken into custody between 11 p.m. and midnight on Tuesday, and, according to Public Safety Manager Tom Conlon, were questioned by the Andover Police late Tuesday night. Conlon told The Phillipian that the thieves were motivated by the M. Discenza/The Phillipian high price of copper. Two Andover Police Department officers talked while a hooded suspect waited in the back of a police car at 11:30 p.m. Tuesday. The suspects were officially ar- rested and charged at 2:16 a.m. on Wednesday. Berkshire 20.5% Copper thefts also occurred on Black Students at St. Paul’s campus Monday night and during Governor’s 20.4% Uncommons Fall Term. Putney 15.3% No individuals were apprehend- Threatened by Hate Mail ed or arrested in connection with Miss Porter’s 15.3% TO REduce 2008 PHILLIPIAN STAFF REPORT those incidents of theft and van- St. Paul’s 14.7% dalism, but according to Lt. James Green Cup Trans fats A recent deluge of threaten- faculty photographs were still Hashem of the Andover Police, the Darrow 13.5% Challenge ing hate mail directed at black present. arrested individuals admitted dur- School Groton 13.4% students at St. Paul’s School has The school intercepted other ing questioning that they were aware Week 3 Results Andover Dining Hall resulted in a temporary police letters before students were able of Monday night’s incident and have Choate 13.2% To Monitor Trans Fat presence on campus and an ongo- to open them, though all targeted some association with the theft. Millbrook 12.4% ing police investigation. students were notified of the let- Around 10:40 p.m. Tuesday, Content in Meals The letters were mailed to all ters. Becky Bogdanovitch, Sustainabil- Andover 12.1% but several black students and dis- According to the Times’ story, ity Coordinator and Instructor in By ROB BUKA played images of targets and the the letters were postmarked from Environmental Science, was walk- 0 5 10 15 20 25 words “Bang! Bang!” along with a Manchester, NH, a city about 20 ing home from dinner behind Sam Percent Decreased Energy Consumption Phillips Academy Dining Ser- command to the students to leave minutes south of St. Paul’s Con- Phil when she noticed a man on the See page A6 for an update on the GCC, an interscholastic compe- vices’ menu options are not com- the school. cord, NH campus. fire escape of the building. tition to increase campus sustainability. pletely trans fat-free, but Andover’s Several students came forward According to campus sources “He said hello and was very officials hope to heavily reduce the on Tuesday afternoon after receiv- speaking on condition of anonym- friendly,” she said. fats’ presence. ing the letters in their P.O. Boxes ity, two targeted students have left While jiggling the downspout, Food Service Director Scott earlier in the day, according to a the school since receiving the let- the man “said he was hired by the Flanagan said, “[Uncommons] letter to parents from Rector Bill ters. school to do some work on the gut- Six Uppers Remain in Presidential Race doesn’t buy a lot of pre-made prod- Matthews. All-school emails on Tuesday ters and was just checking out the By TIM GHOSH ucts. We are a scratch kitchen, “It is an outrage, and while and Wednesday instructed St. job,” Bogdanovitch said. meaning that we make a lot of our only some were threatened di- Six Uppers remain in the race “Almost every night, I spend products here, [and] this reduces the rectly, we all have been wounded to become Student Council Presi- about two hours in Uncommons sit- trans fat in our foods.” by this,” Matthews wrote in his Continued on Page A5, Column 6 Continued on Page A7, Column 5 dent, with the third and penulti- ting down and talking with people In an attempt to reduce trans letter. mate round of voting still to come. to hear their ideas,” said Brown. fats, the Andover dining service Security has been tightened on Malin Adams ’09, Carolyn Alessandra Powell ’11 said that recently introduced a new kind of campus – St. Paul’s has increased Brown ’09, Lawrence Dai ’09, a visit Brown paid to her dorm, Na- frying oil. Now all Aramark dining its regular patrols, and a police of- Instructor in Spanish Neissa Trevor Gulick-Stutz ’09, Ishan Ka- than Hale, was a major factor influ- facilities use Zero Trans Fat frying ficer will be on campus 24 hours a poor ’09 and William Thompson- encing her vote. oil. day until the end of Winter term. Explored Drug Trade for Novel Butler ’09 all have advanced to the Powell especially liked that Aramark, Phillips Academy’s According to St. Paul’s web- next round. Brown took the time to speak with food service provider, switched to site, about eight percent of its stu- By CELIA LEWIS “I couldn’t have done it without individual voters. ZT frying oil despite its increased dent body is black – representing help and support from my friends,” Kapoor took a unique direction price. about 40 students. For 14 years, Peter Neissa, In- mer to finish research on his fourth said Dai. by gaining corporate sponsorship Menu items will now be moni- According to St. Paul’s Com- structor in Spanish, wove in and out novel – about the Incas. Adams credited his success to for his campaign. tored to reduce trans fats content. munications Director Jana Brown, of the Colombian and American Neissa said, “Basically, I’m going “running a clean and civil cam- After calling several compa- Currently, Aramark reviews the a report in The New York Times drug trade researching his first novel, to follow the trail of the Inca general paign” and described his early nies in December, Kapoor eventu- foods that Uncommons orders and that said the targets were superim- “The Druglord.” Rumimahui. I’m creating the fiction- campaigning as being “more re- ally received free packages of Red will only approve the purchase of posed over an image of the recipi- His investigation began in the alized aspect and allowing the people served.” Bull and arranged to give out cans items that are low in trans fat. ent’s face was inaccurate. U.S., where he approached people of the modern day age to get involved Brown said that her ability in exchange for an endorsement. School Nutritionist and Regis- Student photographs were no who had inside information on the in a story that takes place around to get to know people has greatly longer available on the online di- U.S. and Colombian drug scenes. Af- 1535.” aided her campaign. rectory as of Wednesday, though Continued on Page A6, Column 4 Continued on Page A6, Column 4 ter securing a list of contacts, Neissa “That’s what I love writing, his- traveled to Colombia to finish his torical fiction. It’s what I do in spare research. His narrative was first pub- time,” he said. lished in 1990. Born and raised in Bogotá, Co- A fictionalized biography, “The lombia, Neissa grew up attending Pranksters Fill Library Elevator With Books; Druglord” recounts the rise of Co- Gimnacio de los Cerros, an Opus lombian drug lord José Gonzálo Dei school. In a nine-hour school day DVD Rental Privileges Temporarily Revoked Rodríguez Gacha from poverty to with just one 45-minute recess each extreme wealth through the cocaine day, most high school students took Read a history of pranks at misplaced books, said that it took trade. 11 courses. Andover on page A4. three librarians 20 minutes just to Neissa said that “The Druglord” From classes on theology to remove all the books from the eleva- describes the business of drug traf- group excursions and mandatory tor. ficking in the United States and Co- confessions and mass, religion was By MELISSA YAN After shelving many of the lombia, from the very beginning. It incorporated into all aspects of his A prank in the Oliver Wendell books, Dejesus traced the prank examines the Colombian perspective education. Holmes Library resulted in the sus- back to the original location. on the Colombian drug trade, which “The week before Easter, you pension of all DVD rental privileges “My theory is that a few people in general is much worse than many would go on a retreat with your class for the weekend, as well as upset started with a couple of books while people think.” to a cathedral outside of the main students and librarians. goofing around in the 900’s in the Published in 2000, his second city. Basically, you went there for At around 6 p.m. on Wednesday, history section alcove, and then it book, “Under False Colors,” focuses three days and your whole class had February 13, a student conducting developed, with more people bring- more on the American perspective of to pray for three hours in the morn- research in the library discovered ing clusters of books into the eleva- the Colombian drug trade. ing, three in the afternoon, and then stacks of books covering the floor of tor from the 800’s,” said DeJesus. His third novel, “The Language you would go back to the hotel and the elevator. Many students said that the of Dictatorship,” is due out in the next reflect on what you had prayed.” Sara Ciaburri, an Instructional prank was juvenile. Courtesy of Sara Ciaburri few months. After receiving a strong second- Stacks of books were found covering the library elevator. Librarian on duty that night, said, Nick Anschuetz ’08 said, “[The “[The Language of Dictatorship] ary education, Neissa traveled to the “The student came up and asked me prank] was kind of stupid, and it’s because I’m the only handicapped Joey Mensah ’08 said, “I don’t is about how the English language U.S. to attend the University of Mas- why there were all these books in the ridiculous that someone would find person, I’m the only person who re- think that the punishment was fair imposes its views on Latin Ameri- sachusetts-Amherst. While he said elevator. I didn’t have an answer.” it funny.” ally uses the elevator regularly. I was or made any sense. I know it’s hard can. It looks at how three novels were his adjustment to a different culture “A group of kids probably Dejesus agreed, “I was upset worried the librarians might think I to come up with a suitable punish- translated into the English language was relatively seamless, Neissa did thought this would be a funny about this prank, because in addi- did it, but they didn’t say anything ment when you don’t know who and how the English language over- encounter a few obstacles along the joke, but they clearly didn’t think it tion to it being not funny and very about it, so I was relieved.” did it, but DVD’s seem irrelevant to powers other languages,” Neissa through,” Ciaburri added. inconvenient, people actually use Despite the apparent consensus said. that elevator.” Continued on Page A6, Column 5 Dominic Dejesus ’10, one of the over the prank, some students dis- Continued on Page A7, Column 2 A recipient of a Kenan Grant, students who helped to clean up the Alice Hoffman ’11 said, “Just agreed with the library’s response. Neissa will travel to Peru this sum-

M. Discenza/ The Phillipian On Wednesday, February 20, a lunar eclipse graced the skies above Phillips Academy. The next total lunar eclipse that will be visible from this area will be in December 2010 according to NASA. A2 THE PHILLIPIAN COMMENTARY FEBRUARY 22, 2008

Volume CXXXI NUMBER 4 Le t t e r s t o t h e Ed i t o r Cora D. Lewis has serious problems getting work done. forgetting to attribute sources, The Phil- Too Busy for Love (2/15) It is normal and acceptable for couples to lipian’s editorial process was a conscious Editor in Chief hang out in groups with their friends, so I decision to include a brazen amount of To the Editor, see no reason why being in a relationship plagiarized content not present in the Jack Dickey Zoe A. Y. Weinberg Annalee E. Leggett In last week’s Phillipian, there was should mean giving up friendships. original submission, while passing those News Director Executive Editor Managing Editor an article by Michael Yoon ’10 entitled Lastly, I would like to point out that transgressions off and onto the writer by “Too Busy for Love,” about the nature of all romantic relationships, not just ones publishing the errant article in his name. PA relationships. I couldn’t help but dis- at PA, require sacrifice. I do not think that Lewis stated that the “editing process News Director of Production Business Manager agree with Yoon on a few essential points “by coming to PA, we have turned in our was flawed but has been addressed.” Ac- Christine Choi Michael Discenza Berol Dewdney about dating on campus. dating freedoms for academic opportuni- cording to Lewis, The Phillipian, in a ties.” There may be fewer relationships new journalistic policy, will no longer al- Alicia Keyes First, I think there is an important Director of Photography Advertising Director distinction to be made between dating at PA than at a normal day school, but low attribution to Wikipedia. I don’t think this is a result of our rules When asked about the issue by phone, Sarah Sheu Britt Peltz relationships and intimate relationships. In-Depth Yoon refers to both types somewhat in- or our policies. If anything, it is a result Lewis stated firmly, “I stand by the cor- Emma Goldstein of the types of students that are likely rection.” This brings up a few other prob- Director of Writing & The Phillipian Online terchangeably, using evidence from one type to make claims about the other. The to come to Andover in the first place. I lems. By maintaining that the only cor- Copy Carl Jackson firmly believe that romantic relationships rections needed were for the attribution Commentary distinction as I see it is clear: in dating Erica Segall relationships dates are a requirement, and will spring up wherever and whenever omissions, the Editor-in-Chief tacitly en- Harrison Hart Head of Circulation in intimate relationships, they aren’t. In- two people meet an have a certain type dorses the republication of other writers’ Cartooning Director and Publicity timate relationships are usually the result of chemistry. PA is not an exception. reviews and investigation. If readers are Sports Danica Mitchell Emerson Stoldt of successful dating relationships, but thus advised not to expect original con- they can and do often arise without dating Sincerely, tent, The Phillipian has little to recom- Matt Gorski Erica Harris ’09 Mai Kristofferson Senior Associates Publicity at all. I know people who are in campus mend to its subscribers. Furthermore, when asked why the Jim Ricker Sports Coordinator: Eddie Zhang relationships and am in one myself, and I Abby Levene don’t know of any PA couples that go on article was removed from the paper’s Vampire Weekend (2/8) website, Lewis clarified that she “was Arts: Scott Dzialo Circulation actual dates with any frequency. I think Arts concerned information was inaccurate.” Cartoon: Alex Cope Arun Saigal actual dating, for whatever reason, is a Charlie Dong To the Editor, This explanation by telephone, however, Commentary: Anabel Bacon Jacob Shack rarity. However, I do not think it is a rar- Nette Oot contradicts the printed correction. How Features: Eli Grober Patricia Yen ity of Phillips Academy alone, but rather Aliquid Super Veritatem of high school relationships in general. can the paper maintain that the article had In-Depth: The maiden editorial written by Yoon mentions several times how mere flawed sourcing in a public correc- Features Head of Delivery Board CXXXI charges its readers to Sudhandra Sundaram strict rules at PA are a hindrance to re- tion, while simultaneously justifying its Lawrence Dai Joey Atiba scour the paper “with a critical, discern- lationships, and I have to disagree with ing eye,” and “challenge and question disappearance from the website by citing him. The rules at PA aren’t that bad. It every article.” concerns of inaccuracy? might be a pain to have to leave your sig- The same initial issue edited by For comparison, five years after the nificant other at 10 p.m. on Friday, but Board CXXXI offered a music review Jayson Blair scandal forced Executive it shouldn’t affect your relationship on of Vampire Weekend’s self-titled record, Editor Howell Raines to resign, The New any deep level. If you really care about published with considerable amounts of York Times still keeps Blair’s articles ac- Our Extracurricular Education someone, you will make do with whatev- information taken directly from corre- cessible online, though appended with an er time you have available. Functioning sponding pages on the general reference Editor’s note. Phillips Academy’s current policy of rarely granting permission for relationships don’t take time; they find website Wikipedia.com and music critic When these issues were brought to off-campus trips that would require students to miss classes deters students time. Rules regarding sign-in, day ex- website Pitchforkmedia.com. her attention, Lewis said that she would “definitely put [the corrections] in [the from pursuing our passions. The school should encourage these pursuits, cuses and car permission are very easy to Upon this coming to light, Editor-in- follow without having to give too much Chief Cora Lewis published a correction paper].” Among the errors left unad- not advise against them. dressed was the incorrect reference to Some teachers and administrators fear that extracurricular activities up. If you want to go on a real date, it in last week’s paper, saying that “attri- takes about 15 seconds to get a day ex- “Columbia College” where “Columbia that interfere with the typical academic schedule will cause students butions to the music website Pitchfork cuse the night before. If you want to have University” was intended. One week lat- to fall behind. As a result, many students feel our ability to take part in Media and Wikipedia were inadvertently dinner downtown, you don’t need any omitted in certain places during the edit- er, Lewis amended her position, stating endeavors outside of the walls of Phillips Academy is limited. These missed permission at all, and nearly everything ing process.” This admission, while ex- that she had “intended to definitely put opportunities detract from the broader education Andover claims to both is already closed by the time sign-in rolls pressing one part of the truth, explicitly [the corrections] in [the paper].” offer and champion. around. During the week, sign-in is less perverts the facts and sidesteps responsi- Regardless of intent, the Editor-in- The Blue Book states, “The Academy considers its program to be a of an inconvenience and if anything, is bility for printing plagiarized material. Chief has effectively retreated from The student’s primary obligation and therefore rarely will grant permission extremely helpful to those in relation- Contrary to the printed correction, Phillipian Charter’s mandate “to main- to miss scheduled Academy commitments to participate in events not ships. After spending the afternoons in the writer’s article in its original form tain professional standards of accuracy.” sponsored by the Academy,” and “students will be allowed to miss Academy sports and evenings in commitments, took no information from Wikipedia. More damning than the original issue of commitments to participate in non-Academy-affiliated athletic events only using study hours semi-productively by Rather, much of the content in question content is the ensuing attempt to down- play and shirk responsibility for it. if the competition is at the national or international level,” among other studying in groups with friends or with was added during the editing process. conditions. significant others, the time after sign-in is In the edited and published article, useful because it forces students to return Sincerely, Commitment to Andover’s program is valuable, both for the material it background information about the band’s Cassius Clay ’09 to an environment with (usually) fewer discovery - not present in the original has to offer and, well, to graduate, but The Phillipian holds that this program distractions, providing much-needed is secondary to the cause of receiving a well-rounded education. submission - was taken directly from Editor’s Note: time to finish off the day’s work. The Wikipedia. Likewise, a quote sourced The Phillipian hopes that the school will reconsider its current policy, rules may seem to be a burden at times, specifically to Vampire Weekend, de- As Editor in Chief, I accept full re- and alter it in favor of a more flexible approach to allowing trips that would but they are easy to follow and shouldn’t scribing their music as “Upper West Side sponsibility for all of the content printed enrich the curriculum with outside experiences. Last week’s Model United affect relationships that are worth being Soweto,” was in fact copied from the in the paper. Nations trip to Washington, D.C. is one example of how these trips can in. Wikipedia page. The deliberate reproduc- The article in question was removed be carried out successfully. Students and chaperones agreed the trip was In his article, Yoon quoted one of his tion of this quote in the editing process from The Phillipian Online on February worthwhile and enriching, despite concerns about missing class. friends who was in a relationship, who and its misattributed sourcing gives the 12th, when concerns about it were first Some students have abandoned certain pursuits since coming to Phillips basically said that because he had a girl- incorrect impression that The Phillipian raised. It has since been returned to the Academy, as a result of the school’s policy of discouraging trips during friend, his relationships with his friends obtained a quote from the band itself and site in its original printed form, with an the school year; for example, some have not attended debates they would suffer. From my personal experience and is in no way addressed by the paper’s Editor’s note. have otherwise. Others decided to no longer ride horses or downhill ski the experience of my friends, I know that concession of inadvertent omission. It is not The Phillipian’s policy to use competitively. Granted, these activities offer a different kind of education there is absolutely no need for this to Similarly, that Pitchfork and The Wikipedia as a source. happen. Good friends will understand if and experience, but one that is no less important than academic learning. Phillipian would choose the same adjec- The Phillipian remains committed to you want to spend time with your boy- maintaining professional standards of ac- And academics need not suffer as a result of these other pursuits. The tives to describe the sound, offer identi- friend or girlfriend, and there is no need cal example lyrics from the second song curacy. terms “extracurricular” and “academic” are not mutually exclusive. Many for friendships to deteriorate as a result. of the album (“Oxford Comma”), and of- extracurricular activities have substantial academic value, ranging from Nobody at PA has so little free time that fer the same analysis is beyond the limits Cora Lewis strictly academic clubs like Math Club to awareness clubs like STAND to he or she can’t have friends and be in a of reasonable coincidence. Editor in Chief clubs geared toward speaking skills, such as the Philomathean Society and romantic relationship, unless he or she Rather than being guilty of merely Mock Trial. Phillips Academy gets it right with Independent Projects. With IPs, the school allows students to pursue their own goals on their own time. With this policy, the school trusts the student to be responsible, to accomplish something worthwhile, independently of the required program. Phillips Academy should apply this spirit of promoting independent study to requests They Choose the Dean, Not Us from clubs for school trips as well. sible, there is in fact a reason why, in this those who have broken those rules. When one looks at education with a broader, open mind, it becomes Jacob Shack case, that voice should be ignored. Although this may make the Dean an clear that Phillips Academy students learn just as much, if not more, from The job of the Dean of Students, as unpopular figure on campus at times, a their extracurricular activities as they do from ones within the curriculum. dean of students 2028 stated on page five of The Blue Book, is role like this in the community is vital in Lessons about independent thought, about leadership and about adapting to The administration should select the to “monitor all aspects of student life on order to maintain the structure and sanc- new situations cannot always be taught in Samuel Phillips Hall. Dean of Students, not the students. campus.” This says nothing about being tity of a trusting environment like ours. Trips, competitions and experiences at other schools, in other states, even As many in the Andover community the “cool” person on campus or giving Therefore, the next time an execu- in other counties are valuable and supplement a well-rounded education. know, Associate Head of School Rebecca especially lenient penalties to prefer- tive decision like this has to be made, we should treat it like all the other important Phillips Academy should support and encourage student pursuits and Sykes recently announced that Paul Mur- phy ’84 will be taking over at the helm as decisions that are made around here: with passions both inside and outside of the classroom. Dean of Students for the next academic The job of the Dean of the utmost care and thought. Although year. Mr. Murphy is obviously well-qual- students at Andover are outspoken, opin- ified, ready to lead and experienced, as he Students is serious and the ionated and very smart, faculty and ad- was the cluster dean of Flagstaff for six selection needs to be made ministration ultimately should be the ones Co r r e c t i o n s years. making the verdict. Although most of us will no longer carefully; the student voice I can assure you that the Dean of Stu- In a review of a self-titled album by Vampire Weekend in Arts on Febru- be students here the next time we prepare dents is not one who wants to see students ary 8, Columbia University was mistakenly referred to as Columbia College. for a changing of the guard at the Dean in the selection process is suffer. His or her whole job revolves GQ Magazine did not give the album a starred review. of Students position, I feel it is necessary around making student and residential to offer some advice to the administration unnecessary. life better, in terms of the overall campus In a Sports article about Boys’ Swimming last week, the name of Brendan and Mr. Murphy on how to render the atmosphere. Deveney ’09 was misspelled. change most smoothly next time. It is impossible for the Dean to make There is one aspect of the process this able students. The job of the Dean of choices that everyone is going to approve In a Sports article about Wrestling last week, Teddy Louis ’09 was incor- year that bothered me a great deal and Students is exactly the opposite; it is not of or accept. However, I am sure that Mr. rectly referred to as a member of the class of 2008. would be detrimental in coming years to be a friend to students (although the Murphy will do the best he can to fulfill when this decision has to be made again. Dean should make an effort to be slightly the requirements of his job, and I hope In an Arts article about Boston last week, the name of Elizabeth Kelly ’11 This is the unnecessary step of the admin- friendly), but on the contrary, to enforce that he will never compromise the admin- was misspelled. istration asking for student input on the the rules of the school community and istration’s integrity in doing so. decision. bestow appropriate consequences onto In an Arts article about Drama Labs last week, Hannah Turk ’09 was incor- According to Sykes, there were nu- [email protected] rectly referred to as a member of the class of 2008. merous opportunities for students to sub- mit their input, but she was disappointed The Phillipian regrets the errors. with the number of students who actually did so, based on her understanding of the amount of student interest there was in this. She arranged for the two candidates to meet with student government and also The Phillipian welcomes all letters to the Editor. We try to print all let- held a Head’s Table to discuss what she ters, but because of space limitations, we recommend conciseness. We re- was looking for in the next Dean of Stu- serve the right to edit all submitted letters to conform with print restraints dents. “I literally had to drag people over and proper syntax. We will not publish any anonymous letters. Please submit to the table. But overall, their input was letters by the Monday of each week to [email protected] or to our valuable,” said Sykes. She heard ideas newsroom in the basement of Morse. such as inspiring trust and confidence To subscribe, email [email protected], or write to The Phillipian, with students, developing a rapport with 180 Main Street, Andover, MA, 01810. students and frankly, they wanted some- All contents of The Phillipian copyright © 2008, The Trustees of Phil- one who liked kids. lips Academy, Inc. Reproduction of any material herein without the express While these were surely helpful in the written consent of The Trustees of Phillips Academy, Inc. and the editorial selection process, we must consider that board of The Phillipian is strictly prohibited. students do not get asked their opinion The Phillipian is printed weekly at The Eagle-Tribune. when the school hires a new faculty mem- The Eagle-Tribune Publishing Company, its officers, agents and employ- ber, or when the admissions department ees have acted solely as a printer of this publication and have provided no decides to accept or reject a prospective editorial comment or manuscript contained herein. The Phillipian assumes student. These decisions are made solely full responsibility and liability for the content of all copy submitted, printed by faculty and administrative members, and published. The Eagle-Tribune Publishing Company, its officers, agents with no input whatsoever from the stu- and employees make no representations, guarantees or warranties concern- dents. ing the content of any copy submitted, printed, and published. Why should this situation be any dif- Visit our website at http://www.phillipian.net ferent? As much as students would like to have their voice heard as often as pos- THE PHILLIPIAN COMMENTARY FEBRUARY 22, 2008 A3

Paul Chan The Cost of Campaigning race, and discovered that she had spent approximately $250 on campaigning. She novelty pencil had spent the money on posters and candy for Valentine’s Day. She also believes If anyone has been paying attention that going the extra mile financially is to this year’s Student Council president something that helped her campaign, elections, he or she will realize that but that inexpensive posters were also candidates have implemented creative an influential factor in her success. She and smart campaigning strategies, such noted that creating websites, something as catchy slogans. I believe that while that was fairly popular during last year’s it is good to use these creative ideas, it campaign, was something that did help seems that there are also more material candidates, although it did not amount to things being given to potential voters a large advantage. in an attempt to win their vote than in It is my opinion that this year’s years past. It seems that this is an issue campaign has become obscured by that needs to be discussed. To start an campaign tactics that may have stepped intelligent discussion and for this article to over the edge. It is the general feeling of have basis, I talked the top 12 candidates many of the candidates with whom I have who made it to the second round of voting communicated that this race has partially along with several candidates from last become a competition of who can give the year’s elections. coolest gift to voters. Many candidates, It is common practice for candidates who I personally feel could have made to place their posters in highly visible a large difference as the Student Council areas. Many have taken advantage of president, but who did not feel it was the expanded bulletin board space in right to or were simply unable to mount Uncommons and have placed their posters aggressive financial campaigns, were there, understanding that extensive usage and giving, and are advancing as a result will undoubtedly be in the position where his motivation to run for the position of of it.” Although I agree with Sandhu, they are unable to campaign effectively Student Council president, he contacted struck from the ballot in the early rounds. of posters during the early stages of their In future elections, I hope that we campaigns could improve their visibility whether or not this is an honorable way of with other, more affluent candidates. people at Red Bull with a proposal. He winning the election is debatable. would hand out more than 300 cans of the can have more debates, which could be among students. Lawrence Dai ’09, who held during dinner so that everyone in is a candidate in this year’s election, Alex Gottfried ’09, another presidential energy drink to the student body, and in hopeful who did not make the final six, return, Red Bull would have the benefit of the PA community could participate. We believes that using posters with catchy could then get to know each candidate in slogans was a good idea. However, he wrote in an email correspondence that, “... This year’s candidates have free advertising. Kapoor stated in a brief if you look at the candidates who advanced, interview that he had received these drinks comparison to another, without having also believes that completely plastering put up colorful posters flashy campaigning blinding us from a bulletin board with posters may be an aggressive campaign strategy appears free of charge. He also stated that while it to have paid off...none of the candidates and given out free pencils, was not an official corporate sponsorship, ideas of the candidates themselves. excessive. It is my hope that as voters, we can look Michaeljit Sandhu ’09, a candidate in were held back by their socioeconomic it could be easily described as one. Ishan status or ability to pay for campaign candy and Red Bull. But said that he had spent approximately $35 past the gifts of various candidates and see this year’s election, made a point which ultimately what each of them has to offer was particularly profound. He stated in materials...” However, I feel that with how far is too far? campaigning thus far, which proves the the ability to print such large amounts of point that you can do a lot with only a in terms of leadership, platform ideas, and an email that, “I think the most dignified entertainment during All-School Meeting. and effective way to go about it is ... to color copies or to buy T-shirts becomes an little. advantage in the campaign process. And In order to understand how this By reading The Phillipian for updates on simply make catchy and entertaining the election or by inspecting the platforms posters that are memorable. The most because Andover’s demographics allow With two large posters in Uncommons campaign compares to last year’s a wide range of candidates from various on the day of the second round of voting, and to put the current election into in Uncommons, I hope that each of us can dignified, however, doesn’t necessarily become informed voters throughout the equate with the most successful. Many backgrounds to run for president, some Ishan Kapoor conducted what many perspective, I talked with Lydia Dallett students of a lower socioeconomic status would call a brilliant campaign. Acting on ’08, a presidential hopeful from the 2007 rest of the election. people are going all out on both spending [email protected] What War? Our Troubled Generation Andover students who like to stay Nicole Okai informed on politics and the progress Jenn Schaffer this war of the war. They are the great exception inquisitive compared to the many students who do not The war on terror is still going on. And have a clue about the current war status. It was not my intent to do this in front here in America, it affects some people Dave Barry ’10 said, “I don’t stay up to of you. For that I am sorry. But…when more than in other countries. Compared date with the war issue mainly because it you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, to wars in the past, the war on terror and doesn’t have a direct effect on my day-to- I’ll be waiting. – Kill Bill, Vol. I the war in Iraq do not have as great of day life. I do not know anyone fighting in The youth of America is tried and an effect now. Last week in my Religion it anyway. ” and Philosophy class on the response to tired, a recovered shock victim stunned Contrary to Metro’s beliefs, there are once again, slapped across the face by the Holocaust, Mr. Housiaux asked the some students who do think that the war students about the war in Iraq and its the hand of an increasingly harsh world. affects Andover students. Mali Bowers According to reports by the New England affect on our present lives, if any. The ’09, a new international Upper, said, majority of us agreed that the war does Journal of Medicine, we are the first “The war hasn’t affected my daily life in generation in over 1,000 years with a not affect our daily lives, unless a person England specifically but it has affected knew someone fighting. This discussion shorter life expectancy than our parents. the way that I perceive America now. It Though this claim is substantiated by our topic stayed with me because I wanted has all this power and it is kind of abusing to know what other Andover students poor physical health, if we are to conquer it over there. It seems like the U.S. is this prophecy, it is our mental health that thought about it. screwing up more than helping.” When I asked a freshman boy if the we need to be the most concerned about. Like my Rel-Phil class’s response, if We are Generation Y: why here? Why current war has the war on Iraq does not directly affect changed his life now? Why us? And the world seems to one’s life, like knowing a soldier in the respond: why not? In the span of just in any way, he war, it will not greatly change one’s life. simply replied two decades, our generation has seen Metro also continued to say that, “Prior the tragedy of human condition. There is back, “What war?” to the war, 75 percent of America didn’t Maybe he did not scarcely a “When I was your age…” to be even know where Iraq was located. We heard nowadays, because our grandparents know what specific felt no presence of them before and we war I was asking realize that for once, the golden olden days hardly feel any now. The only individuals may have been easier than the present. about or maybe affected by the war are those who lost a he literally forgot about the war in Iraq. When they were our age, however grim family member or friend. No American the future seemed, tomorrow was more of Either way, I took it as a warning sign. actually feels safer, now that the war For those who do not remember, there a given, whereas we live with the constant on terror is underway.” Is he right? and exponentially growing threat of is a war going on right now in the Middle Some people may not feel safer but they East. So what about Phillips Academy mankind’s self-annihilation. boarding students who spend most of We sat in our elementary school their time on campus, away from home classrooms and listened to the radio as it and inside a bubble? How about the day Many teenagers can name a told us in solemn tones that “this is not students who are able to leave campus and coach of a given NFL team a joke. The World Trade Center Towers may be more likely to be in touch with the have collapsed. We saw the smoke and real world? With so much happening here at the drop of a hat. But debris, the bodies thrust from windows. on campus, sometimes one can overlook We heard of the heroes who went up the fact that America is engaged in a war how many can name the never to come down.” that has been going on for a few years National Security Advisor? We saw nature turn cruel and mankind now. turn idle as Hurricane Katrina devastated Times have changed and Americans New Orleans. We saw the wrecked homes no longer live in fear of being drafted for and the hungry eyes, the floating bodies probably do not feel any different. and the abandoned lives. the army. Yes, there is still an operative This war has less influence on military draft. However, it is not used We watched a tsunami rage through Americans, especially young people troubles any heavier than those of the the anesthetic of nine o’clock news can as frequently in this era as it was in our the other side of the earth. We looked on because they are so unlike young people Great Generation, the Baby Boomers make us, we will only care more. country’s past. Though the government as both resorts on white sand beaches and from decades ago. When one is not being or Generation X? Each has seen When we hear of terrorist attacks, has the right to draft someone for the army, thatch-roof huts off of dirt roads were badgered to fight his country through unprecedented disaster. Perhaps it is a we will educate ourselves on the motives most people in the army now volunteered destroyed by the ocean’s impulse. televised drafts, what is one to do? dangerous combination of outside factors and reasoning behind evil acts instead on their own. This is probably why the We stood by as a war began and Though many students may feel that has had an impact on the soul of of accepting everything we hear without war may seem distant and unconnected to our families were sent to battle. We unaffected by the war on terrorism, it is Gen Y. Today’s glamorization of self- question. many students here. In the past, wartime praised America while praying for our possible to expand their knowledge on the destruction, instant gratification and When we read about natural disasters was a prominent period for drafting able loved ones. We read of the casualties in topic. Andover offers opportunities that violence may be the fatal cocktail of our and global warming, we will try to calm citizens to fight for the country. headlines on the Boston Globe and on can inform students on U.S government hour. Masochism à la Britney Spears is the the waters and save the land we can Without a highly active system like faces photographed in Time Magazine. such as Model U.N. and History 300, the latest trend; let’s destroy ourselves before instead of blindly trusting the current that, young people feel unaffected by We’ve moved into a terrifying era of require United States history course. the world gets a chance! Impatience is system to solve itself. And when we learn the war. Many teenagers can name of the our own creation, a world where there can In spite of this, do students need more hip—we need everything to be here and of school shootings, we will take it into coach of a given sports team at the drop of be five school shootings in one week. This teaching on the current war news? Given now. The world ends tomorrow; take your our own hands to look out for signs of a hat. Yet, to name the National Security past Valentine’s Day, a student at Northern our school’s foundations in American risks without weight! Combine impulsive anger and isolation among our peers Advisor of this country would take more Illinois University shot 16 people, killing values, should it be an obligation to make nature with a disturbing familiarity with rather than trusting that everything is brainpower and some Google research. six of them before taking his own life. We sure that students know about United violence, and you’ve got a killer mix. Oh, under control. Nothing in our world is Also, when people think of anything that are no strangers to this form of tragedy: States government, whether they live here and Generation Y wants it shaken, not ever under control. has significantly changed since the war the Columbine shootings in 1999 and the or not? stirred. We cannot wait on the world to change began, things like increasing gas prices Virginia Tech. massacre last spring were Students may complain about such Whereas past calamities have brought when the world is already changing for and tighter airport security are usually both bullets to the legs of our generation, information being imposed on them our ancestors together, Generation the worse. If we hope to outlive our life mentioned. bringing us to a traumatized halt. against their will, but the school has We are young—too young to live Y’s afflictions have broken our bonds. expectancy, we need to realize something every right to do so. The possibility of through disasters of this proportion. It Everything seems too far, too cold, too no generation before has managed to enlightening students about the Iraq would be blind to think that such early hard, too old, too impermanent to care acknowledge: we are not invincible. As Since teenagers no longer war brings up the question of Phillips exposure to tragedy would not take its toll for. Consequentially many among us have teenagers, we are prone by delusions. Academy being an international school grown apathetic, giving up hope for our Our own arrogance creates a mindset of live in fear of the draft, on our stability and our sanity. or an American one. How much can the We are all looking for anyone, generation and accepting our tragedy- indestructibility. We must come of a more they are largely unaffected administration inform students when it is anything to blame for the way things laden fate. mature age and realize that our generation unclear to what extent students feel really are. We want to blame the doctors, for Generation Y, we cannot afford the is more vulnerable than any before it. We by and apathetic toward the obligated to know about a United States providing the pills and prescriptions luxury of apathy. Numbness is natural are Generation Y, but it is time to become war? in the face of catastrophe. When we hear Generation How: how can we end wars war on terror and in Iraq. that we crave. We want to blame the I believe that whether a student is an government, for upholding the laws that of students our age who walk into their we did not begin? How can we sustain international one or not, going to school we choose to break. We want to blame the classrooms full of promise only to fall our dying planet? How can we prevent on American soil means that one is in the media, for selling the violent video games in a few minutes full of bullets, it feels another school shooting? country at war. An international student unreal. Hey, I don’t want to believe that How widespread of a disaster will it Henry Metro ’10 had much to say and movies that we demand. We want to may not support the country that he is tomorrow I could die. I want so badly take to open our eyes? How many more about this issue: “The war is a long way blame the schools, for the lack of security getting his education at but he should not to believe in the goodness of man… but deaths will it take for us to realize that away, so we here at home have no idea that we would evade anyway. We want to be opposed to learning more about its society is making it hard. Generation Y our generation is truly at risk of young what is actually happening. None of us are blame big business, for selling the guns current events. is constantly fighting surrender, but each extinction? How much longer will it take fighting, so how would we have any idea that we eagerly buy. We want to blame Every student should think about the shooting leaves us feeling a little more for us to see that the time for action is of what it’s like. That’s like saying, you the parents, the lovers, the teachers, The war and its effect on him or her, if any reckless, a little more dead. The more now? know what it’s like to see Michelangelo’s Man. But placing the blame on the past at all. Students have ample resources inevitable hatred appears to be, the less Our generation was born to ask David because you saw a photograph [of won’t remove the present burden. If we to learn more about something that is we are willing to invest in love. questions, but now we can decide it].” Many students could agree with him. are truly trying to move past the days of presently happening. It may not be in our So how do we respond to destruction the answers: no more terror, no more Sometimes, American people often forget school-age violence and campus killings, backyard but it is this country that is in in a society that makes it so hard for us shootings, no more headlines, no more about the war unless they are informing we need to look at the condition of our their backyard. to love? silence. No more, no longer. themselves with the media constantly. selves. We fight back: we show society that Nonetheless, there are those curious Is the weight of Generation Y’s [email protected] no matter how miserable and sedated that [email protected] A4 THE PHILLIPIAN NEWS FEBRUARY 22, 2008 Yale to Expand by 2013 Vincenzo’s Ristorante to Close After 15 Years By JULIE XIE Due to Andover’s Big Rents and Small Parking Yale University will likely ex- Phillipian editor Alexa Reid ’07 pand in time for the applicants for said, “We’re one of the smallest tends to retain Cicerchia’s staff of 20. the class of 2017. President Richard schools, [in terms of enrollment]; By PEYTON MORSS Cicerchia said he is confident that Fabian Levin has endorsed a plan to add two we’ve turned away so many kids.” will make her restaurant a hot-spot for dining new residential colleges to Yale’s ex- However, not all students are in Vincent Cicerchia closed his restaurant’s in Andover. isting 12. favor of building the additional resi- doors for the last time on Saturday and said his Part of her plan includes live music on The Yale Corporation, the high- dential colleges. final goodbyes. weekends and possibly cooking classes for lo- est governing body that includes the According to the Yale Daily Cicerchia, the owner of Vincenzo’s Ris- cal residents. One of Fabian’s main aims is to president and other officials, will News, a poll surveying over 300 stu- torante, which opened in 1993, permanently turn it into a family place, Cicerchia said. vote on whether or not the University dents showed that only one in four closed the restaurant on Saturday, February Many Phillips Academy students were un- will construct the two buildings. Yale students supported the building 16. aware of the change of ownership. If the project is given final ap- of the new colleges. After 15 years in business, Cicerchia, After an initial reaction of “oh, no!” Abby proval this spring, the two new resi- One reason for dissent is the who also owns other Vincenzo’s franchises in Levene ’09 said, “I love Vincenzo’s. The food dential colleges will open by the fall buildings’ planned location. Stu- Chelmsford and Concord, Massachusetts, sold is delicious and it is really convenient. It is the of 2013. dents complained that the new col- the restaurant to Sally Fabian, who intends to perfect restaurant to go to with my family when Although the decision for the ex- leges would be too far away from the reopen the restaurant as Fabian’s Serene on they come to visit.” pansion is not official, it seems that center of campus, making it difficult March 8. Alanna Waldman ’10 agreed, saying that an approval is inevitable. to visit friends in those colleges. The The two other locations will remain open, she would miss one of their famous entrees, According to an article in the colleges would be built behind a although Cicerchia said he plans to spend less the shrimp-pasta dish. Yale Daily News, “Just a week be- cemetery time in the business. Alexis Dawkins ’10 and Jen Oesterling ’10 fore that vote, there is little suspense Wesson said the idea of the cem- Although Andover was a great location and said that it was their “favorite date place,” and to be found.” etery as the new center of campus is the Phillips Academy students were great cus- were devastated to learn of its closing. In an email sent out to the entire not comforting. tomers, there were also challenges, according Some campus favorites included the Yale community, Levin explained Yale student Danny Silk ’07, to Cicerchia. shrimp-pasta, frico del angelo, as well as tor- his decision and detailed the benefits formerly Student Council President, “The rents in Andover are unbelievably tellini de la casa, swan cream pasta and the trio of the expansion for the school. believes that students are also skepti- high,” he said, “and parking is tight.” of desserts. According to early estimates, the cal because they are afraid that the It was a tough decision to bid goodbye 15 Dawkins said it was very nice – “classy but years of dedication and hard work, he said. comfortable” – and she loved “the atmosphere A. Levine/The Phillipian cost of building two new colleges increasing student body is more than Vincenzo’s Ristorante closed Saturday. was tentatively set at $600 million, the school can handle. Cicerchia has been in the restaurant busi- and the ambience.” though that figure might be high. Silk said, “There are going to be ness for almost 30 years and said he recognized Yale student Alan Wesson ’07 larger class sizes and more faculty. a good buyer when he saw one. said, “I pretty much figured they How will the school maintain a good “The offer was there,” he said. “An offer I were going to [build] it. There’s not class size? [The expansion] will be a couldn’t refuse.” Hacker Breaches Harvard Server too many people talking about it good idea if the university uses all of Cicerchia estimated that thousands of Phil- now. It seems already done.” its other resources on campus to fit lips Academy students eat at the restaurant Yale currently has 12 residential the new number.” each year. To Demonstrate Vulnerability He referred to Parents’ Weekend and other colleges. Each college consists of However, Levin assured the Harvard’s servers. Students have ranging 300 to 400 students and has its own Yale community in his report that long weekends throughout the year as big busi- ness times. His wife, who he met in the restau- By MARI MIYACHI “Maybe you don’t like it opinions on having their per- dining hall, master and dean. with higher enrollment, there will be but this is to demonstrate that sonal information on PAnet. rant, was a PA graduate. Kaboom73 took on the re- Currently, the residential colleges more faculty, support staff and class- persons like [the site adminis- Aditya Mithal ’10 said, “I don’t One of Cicerchia’s favorite memories with sponsibility of letting the Har- are overcrowded with students. Some rooms. trator]…don’t know how to se- care about [having my infor- students was the time a Hawaiian family hired vard Graduate School of Arts upperclassmen have been forced to However, according to Reid, the cure a web site,” the note says. mation on PAnet].” the entire restaurant out for a graduation party. and Sciences know about the relocate to other parts of campus or general feeling on campus about the The Harvard Graduate But others are more con- “The restaurant really means a lot to me, insecurity of the information to live in off-campus housing. expansion is positive. School of Arts and Sciences cerned. “It’s one thing for [po- and I would just like to thank the PA communi- on its website. To reduce overcrowding, Yale Reid said, “I don’t really mind it; website was shut down on tential hackers] to be able to ty for being so supportive throughout all these The user, still identified has been forced to decrease the sizes I think it’s kind of good.” Monday, presumably in re- contact me on campus, but my years,” he said. only by that handle, on Satur- of the incoming freshmen classes. Reid does not think that the two sponse to the security breach. address…I feel like that’s per- In gratitude, Cicerchia offered a special day hacked into the Harvard Yale currently admits less than 10 new residential colleges will affect But this is not the first time sonal,” said Deidra Willis ’09. discount of 25 percent off all entrees dur- Graduate School of Arts and percent of applicants. the size and feel within the other col- Harvard’s servers have been Some students are unaware ing dinners Sundays to Thursdays and for all Sciences website server. The construction of two new col- leges. hacked. In 2003, there were of the potential vulnerability of lunches for the remainder of the school year The user uploaded the serv- leges would enable Yale to increase Reid acknowledged other stu- multiple breaches traced back their personal information. upon presentation of student ID. er’s backups and site databases the current undergraduate student dents’ concern and said, “Some peo- to Brazilian hackers. In 2005, Max Parlin ’10 said, “I Asked if he believed Fabian would contin- onto the torrent site The Pirate population by more than 10 percent, ple think maybe the money going to- hackers broke into the system didn’t even know that informa- ue this policy, Cicerchia said, “I don’t know, I Bay, a 125-megabyte file. from 5,300 to 6,000 students. This wards the two new colleges is being again to access secure admis- tion was on PAnet.” can’t speak for her.” According to the user, Pi- increase in enrollment would be one diverted from elsewhere, but that’s sions information from several But Roman said, “As far Fabian was unavailable for comment. rate Bay contained legitimate of the largest increases in Yale’s re- not the case. Financial aid money is universities. as the PA network, servers Fabian, an Andover resident, will be turn- copies of the website’s back- cent history. not going to build these new colleges, According to Valerie Ro- and data go, we have strong ing Vincenzo’s into Fabian’s Serene. The new ups, database of contacts, and Levin wrote in his report to the but not everyone knows that.” man, Director of Technology at firewalls and internal security restaurant will feature internal makeovers and other sensitive files and pass- school, “I believe that it is time to use She continued, “There’s a lot go- Phillips Academy, Andover’s mechanisms. We have part- a completely new menu. words. our augmented resources to prepare ing on at Yale right now. Some col- own server contains “contact nered with a local network se- While Vincenzo’s served exclusively Ital- In the message attached to a larger number of the most talented leges are being renovated, we just information, admissions infor- curity company and continue ian food, Fabian’s will have a mixture of Italian the torrent, the hacker claimed and promising students of all back- bought a huge new medical campus, mation, grades, etc. No medi- to be vigilant in continually and American dishes. that the intention behind this grounds for leadership and service.” changed the financial aid system. cal records are stored on the improving and keeping our en- Despite the sweeping changes, Fabian in- act was to the vulnerability of Yale student and former There’s a lot of change going on.” PA network.” vironment secure.” Pranks, of Varying Cleverness, Range From Naked Shapes to Smashed Bananas of 30 students to spell out the words Nowadays, pulling off such a days after the prank and moving it to ning of the prank, it was executed school are discouraged.” “MOTHER PHILLIPS” with their prank can be more perilous – due to the week after. It left many students on Sutherland’s computer, through “Malicious pranks are frowned By MELISSA YAN naked bodies at the base of Holt Hill varying administrative responses. upset for a whole week.” Sutherland’s account on an external upon, while clever pranks are still The fine art of pranking at Phil- Ski Jump. The Blue Book does not contain Sutherland received probation server, and with Sutherland’s knowl- okay as long as students are willing lips Academy has degenerated over The prank was elaborately ex- a specific explanatory category for for dishonesty as a result of the edge of the Ruby programming lan- to ’fess up and undo whatever they the years, though the spirit of pulling ecuted and became a milestone of dealing with pranks. prank. guage. No hacking was involved in did,” Desrochers added. pranks lives on, according to Ruth the first co-ed senior class to gradu- Washburn said, “Each prank is “I understand where they were this prank. In one Senior prank at Exeter, Quattlebaum, the school’s archivist. ate. A photograph of this prank was evaluated on an individual basis.” coming from, but I still feel it was “The days [after the prank] students took chairs from class- Quattlebaum said, “Pranks have added to the Class of ’74 Yearbook “Discipline is necessary when a little much. I was mainly worried were a whirlwind. Dougal and I, of rooms and recreated Harkness tables become decreasingly witty and as a removable insert. somebody or something is harmed. about getting revoked from Swarth- course, said nothing, and while we around campus, said Desrochers. clever… Since co-education, pranks In a letter to Quattlebaum, Mill- Once damage is done, physical more, since it was too late to apply were worried about what might hap- Phillips Academy students have become more destructive.” er wrote about his role as the pho- or emotional, then it’s no longer a to other places,” said Sutherland, pen to us, we also enjoyed the debat- pulled a similar prank, in which Other faculty members agreed tographer, saying that the process prank. It becomes harassment and currently a student at Swarthmore ing we had caused around campus,” students moved furniture from Sam that good pranks have become rarer was “strictly professional.” vandalism, but there’s a fine line,” College. Sharma said. Phil to the Great Lawn. In both over the years. He also said that he had four Washburn said. He continued, “I was specifical- Sharma expressed his opinions cases, there was minimal damage Peter Washburn, Cluster Dean laminated posters of the event, He continued, “What’s funny ly told that if I hadn’t turned myself about the Head of School Day prank and disruption, since the students in- of West Quad South, said, “Coming which he refers to as his “set of din- between friends might really incon- in, then I would have at least been in the Emergency Philo-Forum last volved were willing to move all the up with clever pranks has become ner placemats.” venience or offend someone else.” suspended. Luckily, [I was not ex- year and also wrote a commentary furniture back. harder and harder. Our sensitivities Roger C. Kiley ’40 was respon- There are often consequences pelled].” article for The Phillipian. The high holidays of pranking have been heightened, and we are sible for another notable prank. that pranksters do not foresee. In Though most students knew Washburn said, “Sometimes a often fall during Andover/Exeter now much more aware of offensive- Among Kiley’s multiple pranks, his some cases, there may even be haz- of Sutherland’s involvement in the prank happens that is okay, and we events. ness.” most memorable was the creation of ards. prank, another student, Arjun Shar- have the means to find out who did In a prank in 1976, Andover stu- Marlys Edwards, Dean of Stu- a fictional character, A. Montague Edwards said, “Our faculty has ma ’07, was also involved. it, but it’s not worth time and ef- dents, pretending to be Phillipian re- dents and Residential Life, said, “It’s Fitzpatrick, who supposedly attend- an accepting sense of humor. As “The school still officially knows fort. However, if the prank needs porters, pied Exeter’s head of school important to realize that our students ed Phillips Academy. long as there is no disruption of nothing [of Sharma’s participation in response, then the time and effort while both school heads took part are very clever, but it is also impor- The prank included a forged schedules or destruction to property, the prank]. I’ve only ever told Carlos [to track down perpetrators] is worth the ritual handshake to initiate the tant for students to think hard before class schedule, clothes left around I believe good-natured pranks are Hoyt in a confidential meeting that it.” Andover/Exeter games. pulling a prank.” campus labeled with Fitzpatrick’s well-received at our school.” someone else had been involved,” He added, “To some extent, the In a well-known prank of 1988, In the legendary prank of 1974, name and letters to the school from Several years ago, students Sutherland said. response may depend on who the Andover students released blue mice Steve Miller ’74 organized a group Fitzpatrick’s parents. smeared ripe, smashed bananas Sharma said, “I figure that a prank was directed towards and how in the Exeter library. all over the back staircase in Com- year after the incident, and eight they reacted. You have to take all that One year, Andover students also mons. months after graduation, would be into account. Even if the same prank put helium balloon, posters, and Edwards said about this prank, a good time to clarify what exactly pulled before didn’t matter, doesn’t banners on signs all along the road “It created a tremendous waste of happened and tell you my side, the mean that it will always be okay un- on the way to Exeter. food and people work. No one ad- lesser known side, of the story.” der different circumstances.” Edwards said, “It really pumped mitted to this prank, since there “I was involved in the prank Our peer schools, such as Ex- students up on the buses seeing all was such a strong response from the enough that I could probably have eter, have similar attitudes towards those balloons, but my fear was the school. This prank was truly arro- gotten in some trouble. However, pranks. danger of students being on the side gant and disappointing.” Dougal was the only person who Edouard Desrochers, Assistant of a major highway. Though this was The most recent major prank could be traced to it, and so after a Librarian and Academy Archivist at not really a prank, it most likely took was last year’s Head of School Day private discussion we had, it was de- Phillips Exeter Academy, said, “Over lots of time to do and plan, and it was prank. cided that he would turn himself in,” the last couple of years, there has better than destruction.” Dougal Sutherland ’07, the ex- Sharma continued. been more consciousness of pranks In the past, Exeter students ecutor of the Head of School Day Though the prank had been not being funny, especially if it re- have put Big Red gum wrappers all prank, said, “I don’t think the ad- conducted with Sharma’s knowl- sults in a person or particular group around the Andover campus and Courtesy of Phillips Academy Archives ministration responded well by can- edge, support and assistance in of people being harmed. Pranks that have sent huge cases of red M&Ms In 1974, naked students spelled out MOTHER PHILLIPS as a prank. celling Head of School [Day] two researching information and plan- ultimately cost lots of money for the to Andover. THE PHILLIPIAN NEWS FEBRUARY 22, 2008 A5 MUN Places Third at Georgetown, 28 PA Students Receive Awards St. PAul’s school record for the Georgetown large double-delegation General As- and South Korea in the Future Se- gress members discussed racism in By TAVIE ABELL competition. semblies to small single-delegation curity Council of 2027, particularly soccer and planning the logistics of Additionally, Phillips Academy’s specialized councils. proliferation and terrorism. the soccer World Cup in South Af- Community While one student was solving Model UN rival school J.P. Stevens Ben Ho ’11 represented Burkina Participants in the Future Secu- rica. potential crises facing a 2027 Asia, fell to fourth place after edging out Faso in the General Assembly with rity Council 2027 were allowed to Chernyk was recognized as an two others discussed racism in soc- PA to win first last year. Chris Meyer ’11 in their first trip to send notes to their home government honorable delegate. This year was Distressed cer and planned the World Cup, and Student attendees also had the the Georgetown conference. and inquire about recent history and his first trip to the Georgetown con- the bulk of the student body enjoyed unique opportunity of hearing from He found the four hour-long com- other basic facts in order to better ference. Continued from Page A1, Column 5 a restful weekend. United Nations Secretary General mittee sessions intense, especially represent their nation. “It’s a lot of work; you’re prob- These three were among 40 Ban Ki-Moon, who was in DC to without break time in between. “It Downing was challenged with ably in session for around 20 hours,” Paul’s students, faculty and staff members of the PA Model United meet with Secretary of State Con- was hard to maintain focus for those a country assignment of Brazil that he said. not to speak to the media, though Nations Club who attended the doleezza Rice and visited the confer- lengths of time especially when we gave her little leverage with the Conor May, ’09 was awarded several reports have since surfaced Georgetown Model UN Conference ence to address the participants. had to constantly adapt to the chang- Asian countries, but she sought to “Outstanding Delegate” after repre- in major media outlets. over the weekend. Over a period of four days, ing discussion. We couldn’t afford to speak effectively. senting Burkina Faso in the Disar- Brown said that although they PA placed third among schools members of the PA Model UN Team slack off for a minute,” he said. “I tried to present an alternative mament and International Security were hoping to aid the Concord at the conference and its members participated in a whirlwind of 20 Michaeljit Sandhu ’09 discussed perspective whenever possible, and Committee (DISEC), where he and police by instructing community received a total of 16 awards, a different committees, ranged from trans-national migration and terror- flip around the situation to look at its his partner Kyle Rogers ’09 debated members not to talk to the media, ism in the Organization of American different angles,” she said. Downing about conflict diamonds and the there would not be any disciplin- States council, winning the best del- was recognized with a verbal com- space arms race. ary ramifications for students who egation award in his council. mendation for her work in the coun- May participated in the George- spoke to the press. He was also voted “Best Del- cil. town conference in the previous two While an investigation con- egate” by the other delegations for Additionally, her committee was years. He felt confident going into tinues under heightened campus the council’s superlatives. interrupted with 30 different news the conference. security, the healing process for Sandhu said that his strategy to releases over the course of the four “Andover Model UN prepares the St. Paul’s community is un- win was to speak well, have clout days. For one such crisis, the 14 com- you well to speak effectively and derway. within the conference and write and mittee members had to return to the frequently in your committee meet- The school held an emergency pass good resolutions. committee room at midnight, where ings,” he said. all-school meeting on Tuesday “To win you must be on your they were informed that a United Teruyo Shimazu, Instructor in night, where students held hands game constantly. People around you States submarine had crashed into a Japanese and Faculty Advisor to An- in community prayer in the cha- will start talking about who they an- Chinese submarine while delivering dover’s Model UN was impressed pel. The school also held a dinner ticipate is going to win, and if it’s not nuclear weapons to Taiwan. with the preparation and organiza- on Wednesday night to speak to you then you start working harder,” Downing worked hard to stay tion of the students who took part all of the targeted students. he said. on task despite the multiple terror- in the competition. She commended All students met with their Coutesy of Krystle Manuel-Countee Jen Downing ’08 dealt with cri- ist situations that her committee was the PA students for their focus and advisers to discuss the events. Andover’s Senior delegates congregated after a committee session. ses involving China, North Korea faced with. passion as they represented them- On Wednesday night, Matthews “I found my committee par- selves in their sessions. wrote to the parents that he had ticularly interesting and challenging, Shimazu said she was surprised nothing further to disclose about since it was set in the future and so that PA received third place instead the events. UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon we had no way of knowing the cur- of second, because the students per- He did, however, provide a rent background information of our formed extremely well in their re- message about the school com- country,” she said. spective committees. However, the munity. Speaks to Students at MUN Conference Julian Chernyk ’10 represented awards are calculated by dividing the “This is a remarkable com- Condoleezza Rice and President Munn said that she believed England in the FIFA Congress with points received per capita, which pro- munity. I remain enormously im- By JULIET LIU George W. Bush. that Secretary-General Ban’s visit Ishan Kapoor ’09. The FIFA con- vides a challenge for a large group. pressed with what our adults are Three days before the confer- to NAIMUN gave the conference doing for all students right now. Forty Phillips Academy stu- ence commenced, Munn finalized more realism and seriousness. They are calm, focused, support- dents listened to United Nations arrangements for Ban to speak at “We had a great keynote speaker, The following students received awards at the 2008 Georgetown ive, loving—all that you would Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon NAIMUN. but how many people get to actually Model UN Conference: hope for in a trying time,” he speak this past weekend at the “My contact passed the infor- meet the Secretary-General?” said wrote. North American Invitational Model mation along to Ban’s staff, and Munn. “I think it helped to incentiv- Best Delegates: Honorable Mentions: This is not the first such try- United Nations (NAIMUN) Con- from there, he said he was definitely ize students to create solutions that Andrew Clay ’08, Thomas Tantum Collins ’08, Philip ing time that Matthews has faced ference. interested and he said that he had can be feasibly implemented in the Smyth ’08, William Eastman Meyer ’08, Ishan Kapoor ’09, since becoming Rector in January Secretary-General Ban visited a couple of hours free in his after- real world, and that’s what we usu- ’08 and Michaeljit Sandhu ’09 Cora Lewis ’09, Anne Motlow 2006. the conference on Thursday, Feb- noon,” said Munn. “It was pretty ally go for in these conferences.” ’09 and Julian Chernyk ’10, He took over for Bishop Craig ruary 14, hosted by Georgetown Outstanding Delegates: much very last minute.” Georgetown Student Amy Fen- Anderson, who resigned under University students at the Hilton Katie Costello ’08, James Verbal Commendations: “I think it was incredible both stermacher ’07 has been involved in fire from the I.R.S. about his Hotel in Washington D.C., where Rockas ’08, Harrison Hart ’09, Sebastian Caliri ’08, Jennifer for the staffers and for the del- NAIMUN for the past five years. compensation packages. By May, he called upon high school students Michelle Kwon ’09, Tiffany Li Downing ’08, Matthew Gaske egates,” said Munn. “I think it set “The fact that he did Model Matthews was forced to close the to become the world’s next young ’09, Conor May ’09, Alexander ’08, James Sawabini ’08, Chase the tone for the weekend, having the UN when he was our age set us to school several weeks before the leaders. McHale ’09, Kyle Rogers ’09, Ebert ’09, Krystle Manuel- Secretary-General speak about how reinforce the fact that we’re doing end of the academic year due to According to NAIMUN Secre- Celia Lewis ’10 and Juliet Liu Countee ’09, Andrew Pohly ’09, the United Nations has affected him something that has a future,” said extensive flooding. tary-General Monica Munn, this is ’10 and William Lindsey ’10 and how Model UN replicates the Fenstermacher. the first time that a United Nations process of the United Nations in the Secretary-General has spoken at real world.” NAIMUN in its 45-year history. Ban began his speech by re- Around 480 delegates and counting how he first became in- NAIMUN staff members packed volved in the United Nations. As a Actress Olivia Wilde ’02 Campaigns for Obama into a conference room to hear Sec- teenager, he visited Washington as retary-General Ban speak, accord- Wilde decided to further her sup- A few weeks after the meet- siblings about their enormous part of an American Red Cross pro- ing to Munn. port by actively campaigning for ing, Wilde was shooting a scene power as Iowans, representing gram, when he met President Ken- “I am delighted to be here and By CHARLIE COCKBURN Obama. for the show “House” on the FOX the home of the first Democratic nedy at the White House. to see such a large and enthusiastic “He is so sincere, intelligent, lot when her phone rang. Her caucus. “As a child of the Korean War, I group of young adults engaged in Editor’s Note: The writer is the funny, relaxed and captivating, friend and fellow Obama sup- Wilde said, “It was incredible grew up viewing the United Nations global issues,” said Ban. “Let me brother of Olivia Wilde ’02. that by the end of that evening I porter actor Kal Penn raced over to meet such inspired and moti- as a savior:” said Ban. recognize the Georgetown Interna- had agreed to travel to freezing saying, “Pick it up! It’s Barack!” vated Obama supporters, who “This prosperity, in turn, helped tional Relations Association for suc- After meeting Democratic cold Iowa to speak to groups of As Wilde’s initial disbelief had so little in common with him a boy from rural Korea to rise up cessfully organizing one of the larg- presidential candidate Barack students about the Senator and melted away into excitement, personally. They seemed to find through his country’s diplomatic est Model United Nations in North Obama, an inspired Olivia Wilde his mission. I would have agreed Obama thanked her for coming in him their own voice as citizens ranks and eventually become Sec- America.” ’02 said, “I was ready to change to go to Siberia,” Wilde said. to the gathering and asked her of a democratic country that has retary-General of the United Na- Approximately 2,800 Model the world with this man, and so Wilde went on to describe if she was seriously considering for too long ignored the youth tions.” UN delegates from 128 high schools was everyone else in the room.” her surprise at the number of campaigning in Iowa the next as a powerful constituency and “It was a very inspirational and across the United States, Latin The actress, most famous for well-known actors and musicians weekend. underestimated their desires and unforgettable experience for me,” America, Canada and Denmark at- appearing in FOX television pro- who had gathered in the small, Obama said to Wilde, “It’ll be frustrations.” Ban continued. “It made me think, tended the conference. grams “House” and “The O.C.”, windowless basement room of a fun! We’ll get you out there talk- Wilde is currently shooting a ‘What should I do for my country?’ Munn received an email from met Obama at a gathering in Los hotel in West Hollywood for the ing to the people about the power movie called Year One with ac- and made me make up my mind – I one of her contacts at the United Angeles last year, when people chance to meet the presidential of caucusing.” tors Jack Black and Michael Cera need to be a diplomat.” Nations Information Center, based from the Hollywood community candidate. Wilde said, “I was so ex- in Shreveport, Louisiana. Specifically, Ban focused on the in Washington D.C., notifying her were invited to hear the senator Wilde felt it was a clear in- cited and honored I could hardly Even while busy at work, UN’s recent work on climate change. that Ban’s visit coincided with the speak. dication of how popular Obama move.” Wilde took a day off to canvas He said that one of his top priorities dates for NAIMUN. The meeting was barred to the was becoming among people in After the phone call, Wilde for Obama in “the poorest neigh- as Secretary-General was to curb On his two-day trip to Washing- press as an open forum for artists the entertainment business. described squeaking and jump- borhood I have ever stepped foot the effects of climate change. ton, Ban met with Secretary of State to share their concerns with him Many artists have lent time ing up and down with excitement. in.” Munn said, “His talk on global freely. and creativity to help Obama Later, she discovered that she had Wilde saw results of her ef- climate change was appropriate for “I really just wanted to hear spread his message. never pressed the button to hang forts on February 9, when Obama the conference because we had a him speak and feel out his vibe,” A music video titled “Yes up, and the Senator had heard her won the Louisiana primary. committee on the Kyoto Protocol, Wilde said. We Can,” which involved many whole celebration. Wilde has been interested in so it was very fitting.” “He walked in, and I was al- popular singers and actors, car- Wilde said, “I heard much Obama’s career as a Senator for “There is a shared sense of ur- most sold just based on his smile ried his speech across the coun- later that he found it very endear- years, due to his consistently lib- gency to act now. It is not too late, and handshake. His personal- try through YouTube. ing, but of course I was, and still eral voting record. but we are running out of time,” ity is, let’s face it, awesome. Of Wilde said, “The only real am, a little mortified.” She favors his continuous op- said Ban. “I do not want to leave this course this is not a reason to elect power Hollywood has in these That weekend, Wilde, Penn position to the war, his energy world in such bad shape to you.” anyone, but it doesn’t hurt. He is elections is spreading the can- and actress Megalyn Echikun- and healthcare plans, his plans Ban also said that programs magnetic,” she said. didate’s message far and wide woke traveled to different uni- to combat employment discrimi- such as Model United Nations were After hearing him speak, through venues not always acces- versities in Iowa. They spoke to nation and eliminate sentencing unique in providing insight into ad- sible to politicians.” students, teachers, parents and disparities. dressing the world’s problems. He said, “At the end of the week- end, I trust that you will emerge as ambassadors of the UN with a deep appreciation of the challenges of in- Courtesy of UN Information Center Ban Ki-Moon spoke to nearly ternational diplomacy and be ready 500 delegates at NAIMUN. to ably communicate the work and mission of the organization.” A6 THE PHILLIPIAN NEWS FEBRUARY 22, 2008 Princeton Program Encourages Students UNCOMMONS To To Take Non-Academic Gap Year Add Nutritional alized interim year program will Anderson pointed out the em- By JANE THOMAS likely apply to the high-school Class phasis on community service. “It’s INFo KIosk of 2009, Tilghman told the Interna- important that they want their stu- A new program at Princeton tional Herald Tribune. dents not to study abroad, but to be Continued from Page A1, Column 3 University provides incentive for Mike Guimarin, Princeton of service abroad.” prospective students to choose Class of 2010, said, “I would have “About 15 years ago, the Har- tered Dietician Aggie Kip said that Princeton. seriously considered it had it been vard Admissions issued a statement Princeton President Shirley M. choosing products that are low in available, but doubt that I would about the importance of an interim trans fat can be difficult because “a Tilghman announced on Tuesday a have actually done it, considering year. For Harvard there’s less of an new program that supports incom- lot of companies that Aramark buys that so many of my peers here and at emphasis of going international but from still have [and sell] products ing freshmen who delay matricula- other institutions have not done it … just doing something else for a year,” tion for a year to do community ser- with trans fat.” [or] have access to such a program.” to get away from the pressures of In the future, the dining service S. Sheu/The Phillipian vice abroad. Emanuel Feld ’09 is considering academic life, Anderson said. John Anderson, Director of Col- management may indicate on the Peter Neissa, Instructor in Spanish, knows six languages. applying to Princeton next year. He Roxanne Barry, Director of daily menu which items are trans lege Counseling, said, “They have said that the new gap year program the Summer and Interim Year Op- several purposes in mind. Firstly, it fat-free, just as gluten-free products is a positive influence on his deci- portunities Office, said, “Often it’s are currently labeled. will give the students more of an op- sion. a renewal experience, refreshing.” Neissa Gained Perspective portunity to go abroad earlier on… A kiosk will be added to Un- “I was considering taking a She also said that many students are commons providing the nutritional It helps the students develop a more gap year anyway, so to enter into a able to focus their interest of study After 1973 Car Accident global way of looking at issues. information for each day’s entrees. school where that’s... a part of the before their return to school. “You Kip also hopes to decrease stu- And the third is to give the students curriculum would be nice,” he said. take those interests and try to match intermediate language courses with a chance to unwind since many of dent trans fat consumption outside Continued from Page A1, Column 6 an emphasis on cultural literature. He added that the financial support a program, match opportunities that of Uncommons. One of her goals them have worked so hard for ad- from the university would be benefi- would lead them to discover more Basically, I would fill in the histori- mission to Princeton.” is to eliminate products that con- way. cal context to students who were very cial since “gap years are so expen- about themselves.” tain trans fats in school vending “At the very beginning, I had a “As college counselors, we real- sive.” Barry suggested that Seniors good at the Spanish, but who were ly embrace the program. We love it machines and replace them with tough time with slang. There were missing the key component of Span- Tory Seman ’09 does not yet considering an interim year work healthier options. She also plans to expressions that I didn’t understand. [students taking an interim year] for know whether she will apply to with their college counselors to ish culture,” said Neissa. the same reasons that Princeton’s in- contact restaurants in downtown For instance, I immediately associ- An avid traveler, Neissa spent Princeton, but she said the new pro- “first apply to college … be accept- Andover and encourage them to la- ated the phrase ‘let’s hang out’ with stituting it,” he continued. gram is an encouraging factor. ed by the colleges and then tell the eight months trekking across West- Anderson said that the univer- bel the menu items that are high in a coat hanger,” said Neissa. ern Africa in 1988. Carl Jackson ’09 said the new colleges that you’re going to take a trans fat. “For me, the biggest change was sity hopes to send about 10 percent initiative does not influence his year off.” Neissa said, “I went across the of the class abroad on a need-blind Kip said, “It is important for the winter. I had seen snow but I was entire western part of Africa cross- decision whether or not to apply Anderson said that about 80 students to be educated about nu- never prepared for the length of the basis. The intention is that even stu- to Princeton because he does not percent of colleges willingly accom- ing Nigeria, Burkina Faso and Mali, dents not receiving financial aid for tritional information such as trans season in the Northeast … it is just to name a few countries. I literally intend to do an interim year in any modate the desire to defer a year, fats.” very long and very cold,” he contin- tuition at Princeton could receive case. especially if the student can show hitch-hiked, pushed buses and took aid for an interim year. In food products, trans fats can ued. taxis.” Similarly, Gloria Odusote ’09 that his or her interim year is well be both natural and artificial, yet A passionate soccer player, Neis- Yet at this point, “It’s only a is also not considering a gap year. planned. While he has traveled extensively plan,” said Janet L. Rapelye, Dean the majority of consumed trans fats sa’s athletic future abruptly ended his in Europe, Africa, Latin America She said, “Why would I? …I don’t Olivia Pei ’07 is taking an in- are artificially processed, which in- freshman year when he was struck by of Admission at Princeton. “We’re want to stop in the middle [of my terim year before attending Har- and Central America, Neissa is truly just putting a task force together to creases the shelf life of products and a drunk driver whose car broke both passionate about Africa. education] to ‘reevaluate my life.’ I vard. She returned from Dubai on decreases production costs. This his legs and wrist. start looking into this.” think my life is pretty evaluated,” Wednesday after spending two “I’ve been to many places around The first year of the institution- type of trans fat most often appears “I was a walking on a sidewalk the globe and I think that South Af- she said. months volunteering in South Af- in fried foods and baked goods. and was hit by a 1973 Chevy Nova. rica. rica is one of the greatest. This past It is recommended that the aver- The aftermath was a very humbling year and the year before, my wife and She said, “I think that taking a age person consume only two grams period of my life. I learned what it Congratulations to the 2008 gap year is a great idea. I’m loving I went on a safari in South Africa … of trans fats per day. However, cur- means to not have mobility in my we truly love that place,” he said. it so far, though it comes with a lot rently Americans consume an aver- legs and right wrist. It took me two National Merit Scholarship Finalists of reflection and it’s a lot of grow- Additionally, Neissa’s travels in age 5.6 grams of trans fats a day, as years to learn how to run [again],” Africa have contributed to his inter- Oliver D. Bloom Conor M. McKinnon ing up suddenly. Doing community reported by the Center for Science Neissa said. service is a way to a) do good for est in animal rights. Andrew R. Chan Benjamin E. Niedzielski in Public Interest. After obtaining his undergradu- “That’s the thing my wife and I people who need it, b) keep yourself The Harvard School of Public ate degree, Neissa moved on to secure Katherine L. Chen Jay Y. Park busy and c) feel a sense of personal are looking into right now ... how to Health estimates that, “trans fat his Master’s Degree in the Spanish truly get involved in an international Alexander W. Dehnert Ryan J. Park accomplishment.” causes 72,000 to 228,000 heart at- language from Harvard University “You learn so much from the scale and how to make the most im- Veda Eswarappa Stephanie J. Schuyler tacks, including roughly 50,000 a and his Ph.D. in Latin American lit- pact.” people you help and the people you year.” erature from Boston College. work with. I’m definitely glad I took On his transition to Andover, Blaine F. Johnson Thomas J. Smyth Scientists discovered the ad- As a language major, Neissa be- Neissa said, “I’ve been a house coun- the chance and went somewhere verse health effects of trans fats in came proficient in Portuguese and Paul Joo Murphy T. Temple I’d never been before. I learned so selor before, and my experience at the 1990’s. Since then, there have Italian, in addition to English and his boarding schools made it easier for Da-Chuan King James J. Yang much about the culture, myself and been worldwide movements to native language, Spanish. He studied what’s truly important to me,” Pei me to adapt to Andover. I knew what Jin Won Lee Katherine A. Zimmerman eradicate trans fats. Latin and can also read German. exactly I was getting into.” continued. A trans fat regulation pend- Before coming to Andover, Neis- Jeffrey Lu Kaki Elgin ’09 said, “I wish Although busy working on his ing legislation in Massachusetts sa taught at various boarding schools novels and teaching, Neissa is excited [taking an interim year] was more requires that menu items contain- throughout the Northeast, as well as The National Merit Scholarship Program was initiated talked about here. I think it’s just the to spend time with a new addition to ing trans fats be indicated with a at Harvard and Boston College. his home. in 1955 by the National Merit Scholarship Corporation way we were raised. You graduate warning notice at restaurants. Since “I’ve been teaching advanced from high school, you go to college “I just got a puppy, a Nova Sco- (NMSC) to “recognize and encourage academically September 2007, a total of 20 states levels of Spanish, but I started out tia Duck Toller. I’m going to be tak- and then you get a job, especially have either passed or are in the pro- my career teaching history … mostly talented students, foster loyalty among employees, initiate as PA students. People here are so ing it across campus for the next two cess of passing trans fat limitations. about Latin America. At Boston Col- weeks,” he said. promising relationships between companies and students, geared towards college, like we’re lege and Harvard, I taught mostly here to go to college, not for the ex- and identify potential candidates for internships and perience.” employment,” according to the program website. Anderson said, “I hope that this will increase the awareness of the Students must take the PSAT as Uppers in order to potential value of a gap year.” Candidates Emphasize Communication qualify for the Semi-Finals and complete an application Adams, Brown, Dai and the of his campaign, Rogers passed out Continued from Page A1, Column 2 Gulick-Stutz and Thompson-Butler pencils and SweetTarts. However, to be Finalists. Approximately 8,200 students nationwide th Responding to claims that the team have all said that increasing he said that he wished he had been become Finalists. PA Drops TO 10 practice was unfair, Kapoor said, methods of communication is an more creative with his campaign. “I wasn’t trying to buy the election; essential aspect of their platform. Rogers said, “It seemed the I’m just trying to show I can get When asked how they hope to kids with the most clever posters In Green Cup things done. If I can get backing achieve this, Dai suggested mod- did well.” from a major energy drink com- eling Uncommons’ “Fishing for However, Rogers said that he Feedback.” thinks some of the platforms of the By WILL LINDSEY pany, imagine what I can do for Student Council.” Brown hopes to publish Stu- remaining candidates are some- dent Council’s meeting minutes in what insufficient. In the third week of the Green Stephanie Schuyler ’08 said that she voted for Kapoor mainly The Phillipian and to arrange an “Some of the ideas are either Cup Challenge Phillips Academy open meeting with Student Coun- already being done, some can’t be dropped to tenth place after plac- because of the Red Bull. “For me, policies don’t really cil in Kemper once a term. done, and some are not that use- ing within the top five for the past Gulick-Stutz and Thompson- ful,” said Rogers. two weeks. matter any more. I’m a Senior. I’m not going to be getting any new day Butler said that they will publish Although unable to publicly According to the Week 3 Re- either a weekly student newsletter endorse a candidate, Collins and sults report, the drop is due to a student parking next year,” Schuy- ler said. or email detailing what went on at Student Council Vice President miscalculation of baseline energy the Student Council meeting. Jonathan Adler ’08 have been fol- consumption. Osei Wilks ’08 said he looks for someone who has come to Stu- Kapoor however, said that his lowing the election closely. “After collecting the data for primary focus is ridding PA of its “There are many good ideas week 3, OPP realized that the dent Council meetings and who has the strongest opinions. “inconveniences” by bringing wa- out there which Teddy and I have original baseline calculation was ter and breakfast into dorms, ex- talked about,” said Adler. slightly higher than it should have Last Sunday, presidential can- didates were invited to attend the tending the wireless network and He advised the candidates to been due to a miscalculation in the reviewing school policies that he prove that they can actually achieve billing period,” the report said. Student Council meeting. Wilks thought that Adams, deems unreasonable. what they state in their platform. OPP has made adjustments in While the six victors have long Adler said that he thinks arranging order to calculate the actual en- Brown and Thompson-Butler had great ideas, but he was especially hours of campaigning left, six oth- this year’s mid-term club rally even ergy reductions over the past three ers are out of the race. before elections played an impor- weeks, according to the report. impressed with Gulick-Stutz. Wilks also said that he was Arun Saigal ’09 did not ad- tant role in his success. With the adjustments, OPP vance to the third round. Collins said that his best ad- now reports a 12.1 percent aver- concerned about voter turnout. He noticed that the voter turnout for He described the experience as vice is “don’t panic.” He recalled age reduction over the past three “awesome,” saying he had no re- constantly “freaking out” last year weeks. the first round was significantly low due to its location in Uncom- grets about the race. Saigal added about tiny details such as the num- Joel Camacho, an E-steward, that he just wanted to try and run a ber of posters he hung up. said he is optimistic for the final mons. According to Student Coun- positive campaign. Collins said that the most im- week of the GCC. “I think we will “I met a bunch of new people, portant thing is to “do whatever finish out really strong, and the cil President Teddy Collins ’08, voter registration was unavoidable made a lot of new friends and you comfortable doing to get your fact that we are still beating Ex- learned a lot,” Saigal said. name and ideas out, so that people eter makes our drop in rankings because of a security issue with providing PAnet credentials to an Kyle Rogers ’09 also failed to know who and what they are vot- not so bad,” Camacho said. advance to the next round. As part ing for.” Berkshire School earned the outside website. top spot this week with an aver- Voters who did register felt age decrease of 20.5 percent. passionate about what they wanted Millbrook, last year’s champion, in a president. earned ninth place with an aver- Eric Sirakian ’10 said that a age consumption reduction of good president should reflect the 12.4 percent. diverse community. in regards to miscalc. Students agreed that a candi- “The billing reports are based date’s platform is also important in are on 32 days”... Feb is 28. bolstering a candidacy. GCC heroes great to recog- The most common aim in nize individual efforts - can’t rec- candidate platforms is increased ognize individual efforts through communication between Student the percentages. Council and the student body. THE PHILLIPIAN NEWS FEBRUARY 22, 2008 A7 Faculty to Explore Tablet PCs; Digital Photo of the Week Pen Can Write on Computer Screen Associate Dean of Students Carlos since teachers do not have to print Hoyt attended the workshop. out paper copies in order to write By ANDREW LI The faculty members first comments on essays. Andover’s teachers might soon shared their ideas and hopes for Sykes has been using the Tab- be able to jettison their pens and the technology before exploring let PC to further his “Paperless pads in favor of modern technol- ways the Tablet PC could be uti- Class” project. ogy. lized to suit their needs. However, the high cost of the The Technology Department Hoyt, who teaches the PACE Tablet PC is a major shortcoming, introduced the Tablet PC, a wire- Seminar, said that the Tablet PC making it unlikely for large-scale less notebook-sized computer that would aid his teaching style. He implementation. allows a user to write comments said he likes using a whiteboard Also, the Tablet PC will need on its screen with a digital pen, to communicate because he finds to be tested for compatibility with to faculty members during a pilot it to be very expressive and con- many of Andover’s current tools workshop last Friday. nective. such as Blackboard before enter- An Abbot Grant proposed by Hoyt said, “[The Tablet PC] ing into widespread use. the Technology Department made really is amazing. It’s extremely Although the Tablet PC’s are the program possible, allotting interactive.” still in their trial phase, they are a funds for five Tablet PC’s and the Although the Tablet PC’s are part of Andover’s long-term goal workshop. new tools for most faculty mem- to “provide teachers with another The grant initially asked for 10 bers, Instructors in English Elwin tool to facilitate integration of Tablet PC’s, but the grant only pro- Sykes and David Fox have already technology into their teaching,” vided $15,500. been using the technology in their said Roman. Each Lenovo Tablet PC cost classes for some time. $2,500, in addition to $2,000 for Fox said, “Once I begin grad- the instructional workshop. ing a set of papers, I move through Valerie Roman, Director of them more efficiently… I also Technology, said, “We bought really like having copies of both WRITE Lenovo tablets since they are cur- my students’ papers and my com- rently the highest-rated and are ments. This helps me see how FOR successfully being used by some their work improves across assign- of our peer schools.” ments and gives me ample mate- At Friday’s workshop, Thomas rial to use when I write Instructor NEWS! Mistele of the Tablet PC Academy Reports and letters of recommen- helped five faculty members ex- dation.” plore the Tablet PC. The Tablet PC’s can also be sdickey Instructor in Mathematics Bill plugged into monitors. Scott, Instructor in History and So- Fox said, “Then, we can post cchoi cial Science Chris Shaw, Instruc- someone’s essay on the screen and akeyes M. Discenza/The Phillipian tor in History and Social Science write comments on it.” Tracy Ainsworth, Instructor in The computers also aid An- Day Hall residents gathered outside on Wednesday night to view the progress of the lunar eclipse. English Catherine Tousignant and dover’s aims for sustainability, Number of AP Test-Takers Increase in Public Schools Three Suspects Charged applying to college. ceed on the exams. ous Andover classes are com- By SARAH JACOBSON “For good or bad, AP’s have The extent to which instruc- parable to basic college classes With Multiple Offenses and TRISHA MACRAE become an indicator for rigor- tors teach to the AP exams var- and therefore she has no qualms ous courses,” said Instructor in ies. with using AP credits to by- Continued from Page A1, Column 6 Although AP scores and the Chemistry Paul Cernota. Ryan Sullivan ’09, a student pass. number of test-takers are in- Cernota teaches Chemistry taking History 300, said that If she were at a public school, Bogdanovitch said she thought creasing in high schools nation- 580, whose course description his history teacher occasionally she might not feel so confident, the situation “didn’t seem so right,” wide, these trends do not hold at states that the class “prepares distributes notes from an AP she said, because they might and phoned Phillips Academy Pub- Phillips Academy, where scores students for the Advanced book to serve as review. not substitute for college-level lic Safety to inform them of the en- have increased somewhat and Placement examination and also Sullivan added that he took classes. counter. fewer students are taking AP includes topics beyond the AP AP-style tests when he was in Anderson speculated that The Andover Police received a tests than in years before. syllabus.” Math 600, Advanced Placement the increase in the number of call from PAPS at 10:52 p.m. In a recent New York Times Cernota said that he does BC Calculus, but he does not in public school students tak- According to Conlon and Hash- report, the College Board an- not go out of his way to teach Math 570, Advanced Placement ing Advanced Placement tests em, a search took place on campus. nounced that more students in his students exactly what is on AB Calculus. is greater than that of private Several officers were seen walking public high schools are taking the AP exam. The material Instructor in Music Derek school students because public by the Paul Revere and Day Hall Advanced Placement tests and Cernota covers in class simply Jacoby teaches the Advanced schools are opening more Ad- parking lots and around Sam Phil. earning higher scores than in overlaps with what is on the AP Placement Music Theory se- vanced Placement-level classes In reference to Tuesday night’s years past. chemistry exam. quence. to their students. incident, Pat Robb, an officer with The article stated that the However, Cernota said that “I look at the test…flip AP’s, he said, are “students’ the Andover Police Department, M. Discenza/The Phillipian number of public school gradu- he is “mindful” of doing prac- through it every now and then, attempts to validate what they Officers assessed the damage said, “They got every downspout on ates who received at least a 3 on tice AP problems in class to pre- but at the same time, I feel that know” by proving their knowl- on the south end of Sam Phil. Sam Phil. They didn’t tear them all AP exams increased, but that pare his students for the exam. everything we do, we do in more edge on rigorous tests. down – but there was damage done the number of graduates who Anderson said that his of- depth than the AP requires,” to all.” earned a 1 increased as well. fice advises its students to take said Jacoby. The individuals were appre- Last year, more than 15 per- Advanced Placement exams be- “Being able to cut out a cou- hended, the two males near the cent of public high school grad- cause they are “one way to rep- ple of undergraduate general OAR Consults Faculty construction site on Salem street, uates scored a 3 or higher on resent academic ability.” education classes can be help- and placed in police cars in the Paul at least one AP compared with According to Anderson, ad- ful,” Jacoby said. Revere Hall parking lot shortly after 14.7 percent in 2006 and 11.7 vanced courses in the Andover However, he does not think On Capital Campaign 11 p.m. percent in 2002. curriculum prepare students it is advantageous for students A student who witnessed the ar- Andover’s numbers have well to take the corresponding who wish to major in a certain By PATRICIA YEN rests from her dorm said, “First we AP exams in the spring. subject to bypass the fundamen- fluctuated – 35 fewer students Hoping to solicit faculty input Atwood said, “We know, for saw a bunch of police cars driving “Some departments feel that tal classes in college. took AP tests last year than in on the purpose statement of Phil- instance, that support for students over to Sam Phil and looking at it AP tests are closely coordinated Some Andover students an- the 1997-98 academic year. In lips Academy’s still-unannounced through financial aid and support with flashlights.” with what they are teaching,” he ticipate using their AP scores to 1998, 892 students took AP capital campaign, the Office of of the faculty through endowed She said that officers hand- said. bypass introductory level col- tests, compared to 857 students Academy Resources (OAR) pre- teaching foundations and support cuffed two males, later to be identi- Advanced math courses such lege courses. in 2007. sented a draft of the campaign’s for faculty development [are fund- fied as Scott Conners, 24 years old, as calculus, for example, tend to As a Lower, Kim Kuoch ’09 The number of Phillips briefing paper at Monday night’s ing] priorities we can describe and and Timothy Bennett, 23 years old, coincide with the material on took the Chemistry, European Academy students who received faculty meeting. we really know what they are.” and then placed them in police cars. the AP History and Calculus AP exams 5’s, the highest passing grade The capital campaign, which Deborah Olander, Instructor One woman, Heather Bourque, 23 Higher-level English and and she plans to take the Music on the tests, has increased by 18 is currently in its “silent phase,” in Math, said one recurring issue years old, was already in police cus- History classes, Anderson said, Theory and Physics exams this percent since 1998. has a fundraising goal of $300 was providing students with the tody. do not aim to prepare students spring. “I don’t want to re-take The number of students who million, hoping to accomplish the access to attend Phillips Academy The student said that Bourque to take AP exams, but they gen- classes that I’ve already taken,” received 4’s has stayed relative- goals outlined in the 2004 Strate- and the support to succeed. had been waiting in a car with its erally equip students with the said Kuoch. ly constant around 32 percent gic Plan. Olander said, “That would be motor running. The student said knowledge necessary to suc- Kuoch thinks that the rigor- during that span, but the lowest Before the campaign’s state- everything from quality faculty, that she overheard officers asking figure was recorded last year ment of purpose is published to to a good residential experience, Bourque what she had been doing. with 27 percent. potential donors, OAR is gather- to a good academic program, to a According to the student, The percentage of 3’s earned Students Debate Prank ing feedback. supportive environment in terms Bourque was crying and yelled has decreased from 20 percent Campaign Director Christine of help given to acclimate to the repeatedly, “The security guard in 1998 to 12 percent in 2007. Atwood said that the briefing pa- academic demands of our school, saw us.” The individuals in the car Some colleges accept a pass- Penalty of DVD Restriction per will describe the Strategic helping them residentially accli- were hooded, and according to the ing grade of 3 or higher as col- Plan’s academic priorities in rela- mate to being away from home, student, the two males, Conners lege credit and allow students “The librarians didn’t mean to and Bennett, “mouthed back at the Continued from Page A1, Column 1 punish everyone. They just wanted tion to funding priorities. being sure they have lots of differ- to bypass certain introductory During last week’s meeting, ent opportunities to pursue in mu- cops.” courses. to put pressure on offenders, which After the individuals were ar- books. I thought the email was suf- the faculty was offering feedback sic and the arts and athletics.” But Andover students now was a good idea. It might have been rested, the student said that from her ficient.” on what the campaign’s priorities Torabi said that some input take AP’s to demonstrate that much more effective if Mr. Marzluft window she saw the police search Rekha Auguste-Nelson ’09, who should be. was also about wording, since the they have learned the material had alluded in his email that the one car. called the punishment “contradic- Atwood said that faculty input paper is still a rough draft. in their classes, not just in hopes punishment was until further notice They found sections of the tory,” said, “The librarians under- is very important and will likely “Rather than showing words of earning college credit. instead of just for the weekend,” he downspout in the car’s trunk and re- stood that very few students were bring changes to the leadership like ‘Our school is the best,’ [we Director of College Coun- said. moved and placed them beside the involved, yet they still punished the briefing and to OAR’s thinking as wanted to be] a little more humble seling John Anderson said that Dejesus continued, “The re- dark-colored Toyota sedan. whole student body by taking away the campaign moves forward. about it, because there was some the AP tests are just as difficult sponse was fine. I mean, our librari- The police proceeded to con- the DVD’s.” The faculty first heard about mention about the singularity of as they always have been and ans are not criminal psychologists.” tinue searching the vehicle. Dejesus supported the library’s school finances and the capital our school,” she said. are a good “tool” for students Marzluft wrote in an email to The car was towed after the sus- response. the community, “We understand campaign in an earlier meeting Efforts for campus sustain- with Chief Financial Officer Ste- ability and athletic facilities were pects had left. that what happened does not reflect Andover Police Detective Pe- the thoughts and feelings 99 percent phen Carter, Director of Financial other priorities mentioned by the Aid and Admission Operations faculty groups, though both are ter Reming, who arrived in an un- of the students have for the library marked vehicle, photographed the and its staff.” Jim Ventre and Secretary of the projects that require more time Academy Peter Ramsey. and planning before new pro- building’s south entrance around “The prank wasn’t malicious. 11:30 p.m. Detective Reming photo- Well, I hope not, because that would Susanne Torabi, International grams can be established. Student Coordinator said, “[This “They want about two to three graphed what was believed to be de- be pretty lame,” said Marzluft. bris from the damaged downspout. Marzluft added, “The great part meeting] was more like Mrs. million for athletic fields, and Chase hearing from faculty mem- some faculty mentioned ‘What Other officers, from both the is that through all this, librarians Andover Police and PAPS, in- have received many emails and per- bers what we’d like to add or what about the Borden Gym and other we’d like to see in this pamphlet facilities?” said Torabi. spected campus buildings to check sonal comments from students about for further damages throughout the how sorry they are, their embarrass- that eventually will go out to many Atwood confirmed that the people to raise enough money for athletic fields are a priority for night. Seven Andover Police Offi- ment for their fellow students, and cers responded to the incident. how they don’t feel as if this action our capital campaign.” fundraising at the moment, though At the meeting, OAR staff plans have not yet been finalized. According to a PAPS officer reflects their own feelings towards who declined to give his name, the the library.” facilitated discussions in small For the past year, school of- groups of approximately nine fac- ficials have traveled across the thefts posed no safety threat to stu- Mensah said, “In general, this dents. was a weak prank and students ulty members. country and around the globe in Vincent Avery, Instructor in hopes of engaging alumni and All three individuals were should know not to mess with the charged with malicious destruc- library.” Philosophy and Religious Studies, parents in a dialogue about Phil- said, “The question was how to de- lips Academy’s priorities. tion of property over $250, larceny The library elevator prank does over $250 and possession of bur- not appear to have an impact on the scribe accurately and fairly what Torabi said, “I think the most the academy wants to achieve by important [part of the meeting] glary tools. Conners and Bennett senior class’s plan to pull off a good were charged with trespassing, and prank. asking for the generosity of its do- was for Mrs. Chase to get the feed- nors.” back from the faculty to see what Bourque was charged with unli- “The senior prank generally censed driving of a motor vehicle. doesn’t make a hard time for the While some goals of the capi- our concerns are, what we’d like tal campaign are already estab- to see addressed, and I think she workers. It’s just a fun time,” said Cora Lewis contributed report- Anschuetz. lished, school officials are hoping got some good feedback on things to use community input to shape that are important to us.” ing to this article. other funding priorities. February 22, 2008 Phillipian Arts A8 Contemporary Cultures Clash in Addison’s “Birth of the Cool”

M. Discenza/The Phillipian Crowds of people walk through the contemporary “Birth of the Cool” exhibit at the Addison Gallery. was known for its crisp, clean lines, sim- display until April 13, doesn’t just show the rectangle, and, in the corner, a bright green mally think of as art, but when placed in Taryn Wiens plicity and sense of optimism. As Alison art of an era, but rather the manifestation of rectangle. an art gallery surrounded by creations of Kemmerer, the curator for post-1950 art art in virtually every aspect of culture. She said she likes it because “it’s so its time, it’s easy to see Road Runner as a The “Birth of the Cool,” the newest at the Addison, said during the opening, Focusing on the artistic explosion in simple. The viewer can take what they simple idea that is one of the funniest car- exhibition at the Addison Gallery, includes “Cool is something hard to define, but we southern California from the late 40’s to want. For instance, I see it as individual- toons ever made. almost 300 pieces which, unlike many of know it when we see it.” The art in this ex- early 60’s, “The Birth of the Cool” includes ism, a kind of disregard for outside influ- It’s based on a relatively simple prem- your parents, are still considered ‘cool’ or hibit is definitely classified as cool. paintings, photographs, furniture, architec- ences. But you might see something com- ise: a coyote tries to catch and eat a Road ‘modern’ 40 or 50 years after their cre- Unlike many period-focused art shows, ture, music and film. Clothing was the only pletely different.” Runner. This children’s show can be com- ation. The “Birth of the Cool,” which opened this theme missing, but there was so much to Kemmerer likes the film “Tops” by pared to the simplistic style of the paintings The art of the post-World War II era past Friday, February 15 and will remain on look at and listen to that I barely even Charles and Ray Eames, in the very next room. noticed the lack of fashion. which is also my per- The furniture of the show was also a big The curator, Elizabeth hit. Thomas also enjoyed the 3-D shapes of Armstrong of the Orange the furniture and the mix of art and prac- County Museum of Art, ticality. Amy Freedburg, an Education wasn’t able to attend the Fellow in the Addison, liked the fur- opening, but Kemmerer re- niture because of the “relaxed, cool marked in the opening speech, posture it evokes.” “Armstrong was inspired by her One can be imagined resting interest in the paintings of the era on the classy, cool white lounge and the relative lack of recog- chair in a way that exemplifies the nition they receive.” ideas of the time period: not trying The paintings are too hard to be something you’re formed by simple colors not, just simply existing in the and hard edges, focusing essence of cool. Furniture even on the interplay of planes. mixes with video in a film by These themes are also ap- furniture designers Charles and parent in the architecture Ray Eames, which used the art of the time, as well as the M. Discenza/The Phillipian of film to accentuate the style, furniture; one could even ar- curves and beauty of their cre- gue parallels between the paintings and the sonal favorite. Simply tops spinning to ations. cool, crisp jazz music that was so prevalent jazz music, “Tops” is mesmerizing. From Putting these various aspects of culture during this time period. Even the name of dreidels to Chinese tops, “Tops” relays the in an art gallery provokes the viewer to the show comes from Miles Davis’s jazz cultural meshing that occurs in southern find art in places they might not have oth- album title. California in an upbeat manner, gleaning erwise looked. Whatever your interests or The so-called hard-edge painters of views of spinning tops you may never have passions, whether art, music, architecture, this era minimized signs of personal touch noticed before. It suggests, but does not history, design or even cartoons, you can in their artwork, emphasizing art as a tool force, a larger meaning should you choose find something that speaks to you in this to reveal the viewer, not express the artist. to see it as something more. exhibit. I strongly recommend seeing the One of Jane Thomas’s ’10 favorite pieces Many other films were playing around show in the next few weeks not only to in the show is an untitled painting by John the gallery, including episodes of “Road learn what’s “cool” right now, but to gain a McLaughlin ’19 that consists of two white Runner,” created by Chuck Jones. Road different perspective on modern art. rectangles, two black rectangles, one gray Runner is something you might not nor-

M. Discenza/The Phillipian The “Birth of the Cool” exhibit features contemporary furniture in addition A Taste of “A Taste of Honey” to paintings and photos. Julian Danziger

Lucas McMahon ’08, long-time ac- tor, director and producer of theater pro- ductions throughout his years at Phillips Academy, is now graduating. For his last big project, an independent project, Mc- Mahon is directing the powerful drama “A Taste of Honey,” written by Shelagh Dela- ney. The play will be showing in Steinbach Theater Friday, February 22 and Saturday, February 23 at 7:30 p.m. An “A Taste of Honey” tells the story of Jo exhibit docu- (Anabel Bacon ’09) and follows her dra- menting the birth of matic life in post-WWII Britain. It details “cool” is cool enough, but in her relationships with important people in her life and how they change, while also addition, there will be a party. Student delving into her relationship with herself.

performers will include Azure, the Yor- The play touches on controversial and M. Discenza/The Phillipian kies, Max and Tessa, a jazz ensemble modern topics including racism, abortion, Annabel Bacon ’09 as Jo shies away from Geoff, played by Eric Sarakian ’10 and Blue Stut, with Thor Shannon ’09 homosexuality, teen-pregnancy and abuse. in “A Taste of Honey,” directed by Lucas McMahon ’08. McMahon said, “Britain at this post-war emceeing. era is interestingly expressed through Jo’s Shepley’s stage presence is remarkable McMahon said, “Katy Svec [’10] has personal point of view. ‘A Taste of Honey’ and she does a great job adapting to her been an amazing stage manager. This pro- All attendees are invited to come PARTY is unique because it presents a picture of wild character. duction really could not have happened Helen’s drunk, abusive boyfriend and without her diligence and hard work. dressed in “mod” attire—a fashion a broken family during a time that was obsessed with the so-called ‘modern fam- eventual husband, Peter (Charlie Walters Evan DelGuadio [’08] did an outstanding style brought about in the same time SaturdAY ily.’ The story is personal and direct; it taps ’10), really holds his own next to the older job designing and construction the physi- period as the art in the exhibit. into vital emotions that are both exhilarat- actors, Bacon and Shepley. The “home- cal production. And finally, Lucy Maguire ing and heart-breaking. This is not a sac- maker” Geoff (Eric Sirakian ’10) tries to [’08] and her musicians have worked real- fix Jo’s troubled and weary life and make ly hard to provide live music for the show, Jacqueline Hall ’08, who helped charine fairy tale. Shelagh Delaney is not THE ADDISON afraid to let her characters fail.” everything better. Sirakian brightens the adding another dimension to the action.” organize the party, said, “[The purpose Each character in the play has an in- show, and, as the only genuinely nice When asked if he thought he was of the event is to] hang out and enjoy tense, interesting back-story, which adds character in the show, he has the ability completely prepared for his first show- the ambiance... Hopefully it will show to the play’s effect of drawing the audi- to soften this very dramatic story. Lastly, ing tonight, McMahon said “I think it is 8:30 P.M. ence in. Bacon brilliantly plays 17-year- Jimmie (Demetrius Lalane ’11), is Jo’s bad luck and nearly impossible to see 100 people that the Addison isn’t as stuffy old Jo, who is scared to start her life in first love. Although Lalane doesn’t have percent prepared before opening night. as they think.” the real world because she doesn’t want the biggest part in the play, he works with However, I can only hope that the energy to end up like her immature and manipu- what he has and turns his character into a and enthusiasm will propel us to a great lative mother, Helen (Ellie Shepley ’08). crucial component of the plot. performance!” PhillipianSports Volume CXXXI, Number 4 Phillips Academy, Andover, Massachusetts February 22, 2008 Andover Hosts Wrestling Interschols Bringing in Three First Place Finishes Dunn Honored With Hall Of Fame Induction

Coach’s Intensity Helps Power Prestigious Programs

By Zahra Bhaiwala Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r

Assistant Phillips Academy Wrestling and Football Coach Chip Dunn will be officially inducted this Saturday into the Massachu- setts Wrestling Hall of Fame. Dunn, 54, who has spent twen- ty-one years coaching football, wrestling, and baseball at Haver- hill High School, stepped down from their wrestling program this year, finishing his career there with a 258-177-6 record. In addition to his work with the Haverhill wrestling program, Dunn has coached Andover Foot- ball for more than fifteen years. Known as “Eyes in the Sky,” M. TempleThe Phillipian Dunn spends much of his time Reid Mosquera ’09 (left) overpowers his NMH opponent, driving him helplessly into the mat. Co-Captain Shaun Stuer ’09 battles for leverage with an Exeter during football season sitting in wrestler. Stuer and Mosquera’s first place finishes were both critical pieces in Andover’s second place overall in Interschols. the tower over Phelps Stadium, ob- 3rd and 4th place bouts. to the mat before rolling through to take the opponent serving the wide receivers and de- By Scott Sanderson In Andover’s first championship match of the day, from his feet to his back in one swift motion. fensive backs in order to improve Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r Crystal fought hard but was clearly out-matched by his Cintron executed the move flawlessly to earn five team strategy. more experienced opponent. Crystal did manage to avoid points: two for the takedown and three for nearly pinning The Phillips Academy Wres- As the final buzzer rang—for the second time—on being pinned, losing by technical fall, 16-1. before both wrestlers went out of bounds. Unfazed by tling staff has known about legend- the championship bout in the 171 lb weight class on Sat- At 130, Gaiss’s consolation final match was decided the sudden turn of events, Roddy earned a quick reversal ary Coach Dunn for a long time urday, the cage walls shook as the gathered crowd roared by less than a point for the third time on the day. In over- to narrow the margin to a point as time ran out on the and invited him to hold multiple its approval for the victor, Andover Wrestling Co-Cap- time, the Tabor Wrestler took a quick shot and fought second period. clinics for wrestlers in the past. tain Hector Cintron ’08. through Gaiss to get a hold on one of his legs. Gaiss As the wrestlers entered the third and final period, it Since Dunn stepped down from the This weekend, Andover hosted sprawled hard on his opponent but was unable to drive was still anyone’s match. Roddy opened with a quick Haverhill head position, he has vol- the annual Class ‘A’ Wrestling League him all the way down to the mat and was forced to give takedown to regain the lead, but, as a chorus of “Hec- unteered his time with the Andover Championship for the first time since up the two-point takedown and match victory. tor, Hector, Hector…” filled the cage, Cintron found program. 2000. Fourteen teams from across At 145, Sanderson became Andover’s second wres- the strength to reverse his opponent to regain the lead “Dunn has generously donated New England descended upon the tler to take second overall, losing to a nationally ranked at 10-9. his time, and it has made a dif- Case Cage to participate in over ten ference,” said Andover Assistant Wr e s t l i n g postgraduate wrestler from Wilbraham and Monson Then, despite having not been able to do so all match, hours of wrestling. Academy. Forced to wrestled defensively the entire he rode his opponent out for the final minute and a half Coach Efinger. With the invalu- Andover came into this year’s match, Sanderson managed to avoid being taken to his to secure what appeared to be the win. After deliberation able addition of Dunn to the squad, tournament with high expectations. The team finished back but was kept locked down beneath his opponent for between the coaches and the referee, however, 21 sec- there are now five strong coaches with a 12-1 record in league dual meets this season, its nearly the full six minutes, and the match ended 6-0 in onds were put back on the clock due to a miscall earlier on board, four of whom have more lone loss to an excellent squad from Northfield Mount favor of Wilbraham. in the period, and Cintron was forced to ride out his op- than twenty-five years of coaching Hermon. Of the thirteen wrestlers Andover entered in After a brief rest for Andover, Co-Captain Hector ponent one more time for the Class ‘A’ title. When the experience. Efinger notes and val- this year’s tournament, ten were seeded in the top six Cintron came out to wrestle what was considered al- buzzer sounded for the second time, Cintron stood tri- ues Dunn’s individuality, saying, for their weight, including first-seeded wrestlers: Co- most unanimously to be the best match of the day in the umphant in the center as the crowd cheered wildly with “He has a unique style of finishing Captain Cintron, Co-Captain Shaun Stuer ’09 and Reid 171 lb. final. Facing Connecticut State Open Champion approval. certain moves.” Dunn’s experi- Mosquera ’10 at 171, 189 and 215 lbs. respectively. Ryan Roddy of NMH, Cintron forged a place for him- Inspired by Captain Cintron’s performance, Stuer ence with the public school league Duncan Crystal ’10 followed Cintron a few minutes self in Class ‘A’ Tournament legends for years to come. and Mosquera dominated their opponents in the subse- has allowed him to introduce new later with a pin of his own. The competition steadily im- The first takedown of the match belonged to Roddy, who quent matches. At 189, Stuer dominated his opponent styles at Andover. proved as the day wore on, as the weaker wrestlers were capitalized on a shot from Cintron to scoot behind and the entire match, winning 17-4 over another opponent The Andover wrestlers have eliminated. take him to the mat. After the two went out of bounds, from NMH, and at 215, Mosquera recorded his fourth been training and preparing for the Ryan Gaiss ’11 won the first of his three grueling Hector hit a sideways ‘Granby Roll” from bottom to get pin of the day just a second before time expired in the season since the beginning of the matches on the day, which were decided by less than two back to top and to tie the score at 2-2. Cintron found him- second period to cap off a string of three straight cham- year, and Dunn’s contribution at points, while Ben Elder ’09 won a 4-2 nailbiter against a self reversed once more before hitting a stand-up escape pionships for Andover. this time is welcome. Efinger adds, seeded opponent from Worcester Academy. By the end to end the first period down 4-3. Overall as a team, Andover placed a strong second “You bring Dunn’s expertise, com- of the second round, Andover found itself in essentially a In the second period, Cintron’s superior conditioning with a team score of 188 points to NMH’s 246. bined with our wealth of coaching three-horse race for second with Tabor and Loomis Cha- started to show, as he was able to keep Roddy down for The wrestlers who placed third or better in Class A’s talent, and all these factors depend fee, as NMH distanced itself from the rest of the pack. nearly a minute before allowing an escape. Down 5-3, will travel to Lehigh this Thursday to compete in the on each other to make the stool Crystal, Cintron, Stuer, Mosquera, and Scott Sand- the Andover Captain needed something dramatic to turn National Prep Tournament, and the following weekend, stand up straight.” erson ’09 all won their semifinal matches, while Robert the match in his favor, and he found it in the form of a those wrestlers who placed fourth or better will compete Andover Wrestling Co-Cap- Palmer ‘11, Gaiss, Elder and Alex Gottfried ’09 wrestled lateral drop, a dangerous throw that exposes one’s back in the New England Prep Tournament. back through the consolation brackets to compete in the Continued on Page B2, Column 1 Andover Girls Nordic Ties NMH in Thriller; Discenza ’09 & Holliday ’08 Relay Places Third

By Eliza Dewey skier completed one 3K loop of both teams struggled to handle Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r classic skiing, launching their the icy turns throughout the race. teammate into the same loop. However, the Andover girls On a treacherous, icy North- Berol Dewdney ’09 com- team excelled in the relay format. field Mount Hermon course, the mented, “The relay team race is a Dewdney and Captain Ho won Andover Girls great opportunity to work directly the race with the time of 31:47. Nordic relay with a teammate. Usually we are Dewdney launched the team into team of Berol just skiing on our own, but in the an early lead, completing the first Dewdney ’09 relay we have additional motiva- 3K loop ahead of the nearest com- and Captain tion.” petitor by 12 seconds. Sara Ho ’08 After the previous week of NMH worked hard to close No r d i c Sk i i n g cruised to a 40- warm and rainy weather, the the gap and succeeded briefly, but second win. NMH course was in miserable Captain Ho eventually crossed the In Saturday’s dual meet, both condition. Overnight, the wet finish line with a 40 second lead. Andover and NMH fielded two course froze over, creating a slick Brenna Liponis ’10 and Loui- two-person relay teams. Each skiing surface. Competitors on sa Chafee ’09 raced vigorously to record a strong fourth place fin- ish. The Andover girls concluded S.Sheu/The Phillipian the race against NMH with a tie. Avery Stone ’10 skates the puck up the open ice to shoot as a Milton defender looks to catch her In the second race, the from behind. Andover topped Milton on home ice by a final of 6-3. Andover boys couldn’t keep up with the experienced NMH team. However, Dave Holliday ’08 and Mike Discenza ’09 recorded a Offensive Outbreak Showcased in Win vs. Milton; third place finish, following two strong NMH teams. In his first Balanced Scoring Illustrates Girls Hockey’s Depth official classic race, Discenza competed remarkably well along- By Katherine Sherrill erine Sherrill ’10 scored from the pass in the offensive zone from side Holliday. point when the puck shot out Andover, and the team scored on Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r “This race was tough, con- from a huge rebound from Jade- a breakaway, closing the margin sidering the conditions, but we Isis Lefebvre’s ’08 shot, making to 5-2. Andover took advantage remained strong against the NMH Andover 6 the score 2-0. of the low pressure from Milton team. I was impressed with the McInnis found the back of the to establish an offensive rhythm. teamwork that developed in this Milton 3 net off of another rebound from Andover seemed confident particular relay race,” said Hol- Captain Stephanie Clegg’s ’08 cycling the puck and maintaining liday after the race. Westminster 3 shot, and Avery Stone ’10 netted stellar puck possession through- Matt Sternberg ’08 and Na- Andover 1 the fourth goal. Sherrill scored out the period. thaniel Miller ’08 added a solid again off a pass from Kellie Walsh However, Milton again capi- 5th place finish. Overall the boys ’11 at the point to make the score talized on another breakaway at lost, three to eight, in the final Several minutes into the first a convincing 5-0 at the end of just the end of the period. team score. period of Friday’s game against the first period. Kaitlin Gaiss ’09 played a The Andover Nordic team Milton, Jamie Milton Academy turned the great game against Milton espe- hopes to build off the NMH re- Harisiades ’08 momentum of the game in its fa- cially in the second period when lays, as it prepares for the NEP- scored on a vor after Andover’s first period Andover lacked discipline in its SAC Championship on Wednes- low shot when surge waned in the second. defensive zone and allowed far day. she intercepted With less than a minute left in too many shots on Gaiss. Milton’s break The results of this race will i r l s the first period, Milton had a three However, just as Andover has G out and walked solidify Andover’s final stand- Ho c k e y on two advantage down low, and done in its other games, Andover ing in the competitive NEPSAC in on the goalie Milton’s open player was able to played well at the end of the League. Currently, the Andover to put Andover get off another shot to put them- game, and with less than a minute Girls team stands in third, while on the board. selves on the score board. left Kaitlyn McInnis ’09 scored M.Discenza/The Phillipian the Andover Boys are placed sev- Andover came out strong At the end of the second peri- Louisa Chaffee ’09 glides down a hill from the exchange area against Milton Academy and had od Milton took advantage of a bad pursuing on NMH last Saturday. Continued on Page B3, Column 4 five goals in the first period. Kath- Continued on Page B3, Column 5 B2 THE PHILLIPIAN SPORTS FEBRUARY 22, 2008 Former Haverhill Coach Transitions to Andover; Stellar Play from Underclassmen Not Enough Dunn Awarded with Hall Of Fame Recognition In Andover’s 55-69 Loss to Brimmer & May As the weeks progressed, the During football season, Stuer Continued from Page B1, Column 5 By Jack Doyle The game stayed close for “I thought we could have wrestlers have gained increasing says, “he is joking and easy-go- the first half, and Andover lost done a little better in the second tains Hector Cintron ’08 and Shaun Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r respect for him. Cintron added, ing,” but at wrestling practice, “he its lead with under a minute half with ball control,” said Mc- Stuer ’09 both express admiration “He is a simple guy, and very ap- is intense.” He concludes, “The and esteem for Coach Dunn. Khalid McCaskill ’10 led to play in the half. Bond hit a Caskill. “If we played the same proachable. He tells you how to main reason we have been so suc- three- pointer with nine seconds way in the second half as we did According to Cintron, Dunn improve; he tells you how it is. He cessful this year is due to Coach Andover in scoring for two is knowledgeable, and the team straight games remaining, however, to tie the in the first, that game would’ve doesn’t sugar-coat anything.” Dunn.” game up at 34 apiece when they had a different outcome.” all benefits tremendously from his Cintron believes this attitude Stuer congratulates Dunn this week, with experience. a collective 27 entered the locker rooms. Last Thursday’s game of Dunn’s is exactly what is need- wholeheartedly on his award: “He Once again, however, against Rivers was a different Cintron explained that there ed in wrestling: “Wrestling isn’t a definitely deserves this recogni- points against was a kind of rift between the Brimmer & Andover was sluggish after stay- story. Andover entered halftime conversation; you can’t think about tion more than anyone I know. He ing close for the entire first half. down, 41-22, but in the second wrestlers and Dunn at the begin- it- it’s just natural,” he concluded. is a great guy, and everyone speaks Bo y s May on Friday ning of the season, because he was Ba s k e t b a l l and Deerfield After six minutes of play in half Andover outscored Rivers Stuer praises Dunn, saying, highly of him.” the second half, Brimmer & May by seven. a relatively new face and came “Coach Dunn is a technician; he Andover covets Dunn as a ex- on Wednesday. from the public school athletic at- Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite claimed a 46-38 lead. The team Unfortunately Andover really knows wrestling better than perienced motivator and coach, got as close as six points midway couldn’t dig itself out of the hole mosphere. any one I have been coached by.” and hopes to keep him in its ath- enough as Andover dropped both “He is tough, but he has defi- games to wrap up a tough week through the half, but could never of the first half, and fell, 69-57, He also sees Dunn as a motivator. letic program for years to come. complete the comeback. after a valiant second-half effort. nitely grown on us and we have Stuer, who is also on the Var- for the young team. learned to adapt to his style,” elab- sity Football team in the fall, has On Wednesday, Andover orated Cintron. seen another side of Dunn. squared off against a compa- rable Deerfield squad in front of a large home crowd. McCaskill led Andover with a team-high Boys Swimming Improves Record to 9-2; 14 points, and Co-Captain Mike Palermo ’08 and post-graduate Tom Lavin ’08 each added eight Andover Dominates Exeter for Third Straight Year and seven points, respectively. time of 59.61, closely followed 56.18. Ben Morris finished fifth Deerfield started off the game By Kristen Faulkner by Tony Feng ’09 in second with with a time of 58.06. with momentum, jumping out to Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r a time of 59.99, who beat third Andover swept the 100 Free- an early lead. But Andover wast- place by over 11 seconds. Har- style as Hon finished first with a ed no time in getting back, taking After two weeks of hard train- rington grasped another win for time of 49.76, closely followed the lead on a deep three-pointer ing in preparation for Interschols, Andover in the 100 Freestyle in by Falk-Wallace in second with by Co-Captain Palermo for the Andover still 51.81, closely followed by Leung a time of 49.79 and Zhai in third 14-11 lead. achieved top with a time of 52.66. with a time of 50.39. The game was incredibly times and Andover took a win in the Mahoney blew away the fast-paced, as Andover and Deer- dominated its 200 Freestyle Relay as the team crowd in his 500 Freestyle, tak- field traded blows for the final competition. of Harrington, Feng, Leung, and ing a strong first and dropping few minutes of the half. After a Bo y s Andover’s nu- Falk-Wallace finished with a time five seconds for a time of 4:48. missed lay up at the buzzer, how- Sw i m m i n g merous best of 1:36.99. McAuliffe and Smachlo finished ever, Andover entered halftime times and After winning both the 100 second and fourth, grasping times down 28-31. clutch finishes earned the team Breaststroke and 100 Backstroke, of 4:53, and 5:02.35 respectively Andover came out of the wins against Williston and Kim- Andover completely lapped Kim- In the second relay of the meet, halftime break with sloppy ball ball Union Academy on Saturday ball Union in the 400 Freestyle Andover took first as the team of control and loose defense. Deer- and Exeter on Wednesday. Relay. Hon, Brenner, Co-Captain De- field soon took a 45-34 lead, and At Williston, Andover set the On Wednesday, Exeter stole veney ’09, and Lee-Kramer slid Andover didn’t score until Lavin pace early in the meet as it cap- first in the 200 Medley Relay, but in to a quick finish for a time of hit a jumper four minutes into the tured first and second place in the team of Steven Lee-Kram- 1:29.81. half. the opening 200 Medley Relay. er ’09, Curtis Hon ’10, Jimmy The team of Feng, Falk- Andover picked up a little The team of Julian Azaret ’08, Brenner ’10, and Co-Captain Wallace, Jon Leung ’11 and Har- slack midway through the second Matt Mahoney ’11, Alex Smachlo Kevin Zhai ’08 were able to take rington finished third with a time half, cutting the lead to 41-49 on ’11, and Asa Harrington ’09 fin- second. of 1:34.61. a spinning three point play on a ished first in 1:46.21. The top Andover swept the 200 Free- In the 100 Backstroke, Co- lay-up by Palermo. relay just barely out-touched the style, as Co-Captain Brendan De- Captain Deveney ’09 finished sec- However, Andover just second place team of Ben Mor- veney ’09, Matt Mahoney ’11, and ond with a time of 55.43, closely couldn’t find the hoop in the final ris ’11, Curtis Hon ’10, Andrew Conor McAuliffe ’10 took first, followed by Conor Deveney ’11 minutes. Fraser ’10, and Will Falk-Wallace second, and third respectively. In with a time of 58.46, and Julian Deerfield rolled in the final ’10 who finished with a time of the 200 Individual Medley, Exeter Azaret ’08 with a time of 58.68. few minutes for the 62-41 vic- 1:46.95. Andover swept the event, took first, completely dominating The first three places all fin- tory. beating third-place Williston by the event by over 11 seconds. ished within a half a second of Last Friday, the game had a M.Discenza/The Phillipian over 13 seconds. Taking second was Zhai with a each other in the 100 Breaststroke, similar feeling as Andover faced Menelik Washington ’09 elevates above two Deerfield defenders Continuing Andover’s win- time of 2:05.40, followed by Lar- but Hon, Zhou, and Vincent Jow off with Brimmer & May at home to score a lay-up. Andover fell 62-41 to powerhouse Deerfield. ning streak, Mahoney captured ry Zhou ’09 in third with a time ’09 were able to capture second, for its second game in two days. first in the 200 Individual Med- of 2:05.98 and Ben Morris ’11 in third, and fourth. Tyler Bond ’10 was the high- ley. He finished with a best time fourth with a time of 2:08.63. In the 400 Freestyle Relay top scorer for Andover, sinking 14 of 2:02.14, completely lapping J.R. Santaniello ’08 placed team of Zhai, McAuliffe, Har- points on the game. McCaskill Girls Swimming Out-Touched the sixth place swimmer. Mor- first among five divers and fin- rington, and Co-Captain Deveney and post-graduate Dan Evans ris finished second with a time ished with a high score of 162.8. ’09 finished second for a time of ’08 topped it off with 13 and 11 By Exeter in Four-Point Loss of 2:10.44. Andover continued Kyle Ofori took fourth with a 3:21.50, barely out-touched by points each. Palermo, who was with victories in the 50 Freestyle By Spencer Macquarrie early on. score of 146.65. Exeter who finished with a time forced to sit out the majority of While Andover did not win in as Vincent Jow ’09 finished first In the 100 Butterfly, Alex of 3:21.33. the second half because of foul Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r with a time of 23.70. the next event, the 200 Individual Smachlo ’11 took second with a Andover brought home the trouble, put up an additional Medley, Peyton Morss ’10 got After diving, Fraser finished time of 55.84, closely followed victory with a final score of nine points in his limited playing Andover 68 first in the 100 Butterfly with a Andover back on the right track by Brenner in third with a time of 102.5-82.5. time. Williston 32 with a win in the 50 Freestyle. Al- anna Waldman ’10 came in for a Andover 73 strong third at 26.18. Morss finished with a season’s Andover Nets Three Late Goals in Crucial 9-8 OT Win vs. Tabor; K.U.A. 27 best time of 24.87, stretching out to beat the competition by body Exeter 95 length- almost a whole second. Team’s Post-Season Fate Rests Squarely in Game Against Exeter In the diving event, Emily Andover 91 Johnson continued with an excel- By Matt Higgins With less than two minutes ven ’09 scored, assisted by Gar- John Burke ’08 and McGregor, left in the game, Captain Cox net Hathaway ’10 and Brian Saf- giving Andover a commanding lent season as she came on top Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r scored, assisted by Ryan Heavey strom ’10, to give Andover a 1-0 5-1 lead. Despite only taking half of for Andover and finished sec- After a thriller at Tabor and ’09, to cut the Tabor lead to one. lead. Andover was unable to add The Andover defense and its swimmers to Saturday’s meet, ond place overall with a score of two easy wins at Brooks and In the final minutes of the game, to its lead, and the game headed goalie Chase Potter ’09 held, and the Andover Girls Swim team 199.15. NMH, Andover finishes a three- Andover drew a penalty and into the first intermission with Andover won its third straight still had sig- Andover recorded several game road earned a power play. Andover leading 1-0. Andover game. Potter made 15 saves in the nificantly more more first place finishes in the swing control- In the final minute of regu- broke the game open in the sec- win. depth than its 100 Butterfly, the 100 Freestyle, ling its playoff lation, Bury scored, assisted by ond period with three goals to On Wednesday, after a slow opponents. The the 500 Freestyle, and the 200 destiny as the McGregor and Captain Cox, to give the team a 4-0 lead. first period, Andover came meet contin- Freestyle Relay. current fourth tie the game and send the game The first Andover goal came through with its 12th win in 15 Gi r l s ued in painless These finishes were recorded Sw i m m i n g Bo y s seed in the to overtime. just 22 seconds into the period, games, beating an overmatched fashion to give by Glancy, Morss, Faulkner and Ho c k e y East. Andover carried the momen- scored by Captain Cox and as- NMH team 8-3. Andover 68-32 the relay team of Moroney ’11, Friday, tum from the end of the game into sisted by Kreider and Jack Walsh Even with Exeter coming up and 73-27 wins Mai Kristofferson ’09, Faulkner Chris Kreider overtime. Just 20 minutes into ’10. Just three minutes later, on Saturday, Andover did not over Williston and Kimball Union and Morss. Glancy swam a season ’10 scored a hat-trick and added the extra period, Kreider scored Steve Bury added a goal, assisted overlook NMH. Academy. best of 1:01.11, complimented by two assists, including a game- his third of the game, assisted by by Mullin and Pat Keegan ’08. After yet another three win In the first event of the day, Morss who also swam a season winning overtime goal, giving Captain Cox and Carroccio, to Captain Cox finished the second week, Andover heads into Sat- the 200 Medley Relay, the team of best with 53.64. Andover a very important 9-8 give Andover a thrilling 9-8 win. period scoring with an unassisted urday’s match up with arch-rival Theresa Faller ’11, Tina Kit ’09, Freshman sensation Faulkner overtime win at Tabor. Saturday, Captain Cox scored goal at the 8:23 mark. Exeter in the playoffs as the cur- Greta Martin ’09 and Stephanie also came in with a season best at Kreider scored at the 7:50 two goals, leading the Andover Brooks got on the scoreboard rent four seed in the east. Moroney ’09 destroyed the com- 5:14.61, over six seconds ahead mark in the first to give Andover offense to an easy 5-1 win over at the 9:24 mark in the third pe- A loss will knock Andover petition, taking the first place spot of any of her competitors. the first lead of the day. Division II opponent Brooks. riod, making the game 4-1. How- out of the playoffs, but with a win a full five seconds in front of the In the second to last individual However, Tabor scored late in Andover wasted no time get- ever, Andover quickly answered over Exeter, the three seed in the second place KUA relay team. events of the meet, Andover fell the period, and the game went to ting on the board, scoring early in less than a minute later. east, Andover will secure a play- Andover swept the diving to Exeter with a hindering 3-4-6 the first intermission tied 1-1. the first period. Safstrom scored his second off spot. event and Emily Johnson’s ’10 finish. Andover was able to stake a At the 2:36 mark, Nick Cra- goal of the season, assisted by score of 168.10 secured her the Although Faller ’11 could not lead in the second and extend it win. out-touch the two leading Exeter to 3-1 after a pair of early goals Annie Glancy ’09 used her opponents she managed to swim a in the second period. Captain An- quick reflexes for a fast start in season best of 1:02.28. drew Cox ’08 scored at the 3:20 the 100 Butterfly and never relin- But with the score at 87-85, mark, assisted by J.J. McGregor quished her lead. the meet came down to the final and Kreider. With a time of 1:02.81 she ef- race, the 400 Freestyle Relay. Bobby Farnham ’08 added fectively out-swam her competi- When Morss dove into the another just 21 seconds later, as- tion and captured the event. pool for the final leg of the race, sisted by Steve Bury ’08 and In the 500 Yard Freestyle, she was over a body length be- Tucker Mullin ’08. Kristen Faulkner ’11 took first hind. But her determination and However, Tabor stormed back place and finished with a five sec- unbeatable strength reeled in with four straight goals, including ond lead over the second place her New England champion op- two straight shorthanded goals, finisher for a time of 5:15.78. ponent. But she finished three- and the game headed into inter- Becca MacRae ’09 made a great tenths of a second behind. mission with Tabor leading 5-3. season debut in the race, finishing Coach Paul Murphy ’84 said, Tabor scored their fifth unan- fourth in 5:55.23. “Despite the tough loss, I thought swered goal just 13 seconds into In the end, Andover girls our kids put absolutely everything the third period. stunned the competition and left they had into this meet, and in Andover was finally able the opposition in its wake, beating the end, it could have gone either to answer two minutes later, as both teams by over 30 points. way.” Kreider scored his second, as- This Wednesday, Andover He continued, “This was a sisted by Luke Duprey ’10. Tabor swam against fierce rival Exeter. very good meet to come off of again answered at the 8:25 mark, Andover maintained the lead for going into Interschols on March taking a 7-4 lead. the entire meet, only to fall short 1st, as we will try to avenge some Andover responded with two in the last relay for a 91-95 loss. very close losses to different straight goals. J.J. McGregor ’08 Andover started off the meet teams there.” scored the first shorthanded at the with a stellar race from the 200 If the team can utilize its 11:47 mark. Medley Relay team of Faller ’11, depth to place several swimmers Three minutes later, Farnham Allie Hall ’10, Glancy, and Mo- in the top sixteen and win crucial scored his second of the game roney ’11. It finished with a time relays, it has a viable chance to and after these consecutive goals, of 1:54.83 for the upset win. redeem its losses to Choate Rose- Andover trailed by just one goal. Faulkner then took first place mary Hall, The Hopkins School, However, Tabor would extend in the 200 Freestyle with a time and Exeter to claim the New Eng- its lead to 8-6 just 40 seconds lat- of 1:59.27, strengthening An- land Championship title. er. Down by two late in the game S.Sheu/The Phillipian dover’s lead. Exeter managed to with its playoff lives on the line, Nick Craven ’09 and Brian Safstrom ’10 battle for a loose puck off a face-off against a Brooks take the second and third place the team rallied back. forward. Craven & Safstrom each scored a goal in Boys Hockey’s 5-1 win over Brooks. spots, which kept the meet close THE PHILLIPIAN SPORTS FEBRUARY 22, 2008 B3 Third Seed Wilmarth Aces Athlete Of The Week St. Paul’s Opponent at Number 2 Co-Captain Hector Cintron ’08 By Megan Farquhar just didn’t end in our favor,” said Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r Captain Carolyn Brown ’09. Wilmarth had the only match victory for the Girls Varsity The crowd standing in the I was very frantic and worried St. Paul’s 6 Squash team last Thursday against crowd began to chant “Hector, about my matches, always wor- Andover 1 St. Paul’s. Despite Andover’s best Hector” as Co-Captain Hector rying too much about the other efforts, the team lost 6-1. Cintron ’08 closed out his 10-9 guy instead of focusing on what win in the finals at Interschols. I needed to do to come out vic- Exeter 6 Wilmarth, who typically plays number three, aced her opponent The 171-pound champion wres- torious.” Andover 1 in three short games at the num- tler competed in his final Class Cintron commented that his ber two position. She dominated A Interschols and took home the 11th- and 12th-grade seasons Lydia Smith ’09, playing every play and capitalized on her title of Champion as well as Out- have completely changed how the number two position, picked opponents weaknesses. Wilmarth standing Wrestler. Cintron was he is as a wrestler. “As an Up- up the lone match victory for won her first game 9-3, her sec- one of three first-place finishers per, I became quick on my feet the Andover ond 9-5, and ended with a final for Andover on Saturday. and focused and really realized Girls Varsity victory of 9-3. Seeded number one at 171 that I had a special talent in the Squash team Wilmarth’s drop shots and lbs., Cintron cruised his way to sport.” against archri- low box serve worked particularly the finals, pinning all of his oppo- However, Cintron became val Exeter this well against her St. Paul’s oppo- nents. As expected, he matched most serious about the sport his Wednesday. nent. Captain Brown remarked, up with Ryan Roddy, an NMH Senior year. Gi r l s Sq u a s h Andover suf- “Not only did she win but all her post-graduate in the finals. “This past season, I have fered a disap- serves were right on. When she The finals proved to be finally learned to calm down pointing 6-1 serves well, she’s unstoppable.” much tougher than the previous and to let things happen as they loss overall. Captain Brown lost her match rounds. Leading 10-9, Hector should in a match.” Smith defeated her opponent at the number one position in four was forced to control his oppo- Cintron’s transformation into by a narrow margin of 9-7 in games. She started strong and nent for the last minute. an elite wrestler has not only af- the first game. She became more won her first game 9-7. After ral- If Roddy had been able to fected his own status as a New comfortable on the Exeter courts lying every point back and forth, escape, he would’ve earned the England prep wrestler, but has as the match progressed, winning she lost her second game 7-9. tying point in the match, which also helped to establish a presti- her second game 9-4. Captain Brown hit a lot of in Cintron’s words was “not fa- gious program at Andover. By combining the strength of cross-court shots, and her op- vorable.” Over the past two years, Cin- her serve with several excellently- ponent capitalized on them and Time went out and the buzz- tron’s work ethic has made him placed shots, she triumphed in her earned the few extra crucial er sounded, but the officials said not only a top performer on the third and final game 9-1 for the points. Both girls played well in that 21 seconds needed to be put squad, but a great leader as well. overall win. the following games but Brown back on the clock. Impressively, Many teammates consistently Lauren Wilmarth ’09, who lost them 6-9 and 5-9. Cintron, stayed focused and fin- expressed how Cintron’s work played at number three, had the Christine Choi ’09 and Nicole ished out the match, earning the ethic is a leadership quality in most competitive match of the Wagner ’09 playing positions four win. and of itself. When asked what pushed Although the common mis- day. She rallied with her opponent and six, respectively, both lost in M.Discenza/The Phillipian in the first game and tied the score three games. Nicole Duddy ’08 to him to continue to wrestle conception of a Captain is one at 8-8. But Wilmarth fell 10-8 in and Lizzy Chan ’08 lost in four hard, after he thought the match to go out there and wrestle to get that we have work to do … He who is more of an inspirational overtime. In the second game, games at positions three and five, was over, Cintron said, “Mental it over with, but I have learned works hard all the time.” speaker, Cintron assumes the she came back forcefully and se- respectively. Kim Kohn ’10 had and physical strength came into to enjoy the ride more. After all, Cintron has developed into position as an extraordinary cured a 9-4 win, tying the match a close five-game match at num- play… Also the crowd chanting that’s why I started the sport in a widely recognized and re- leader by example. Because of up 1-1. ber seven, but could not pull out a really helped keep the adrenaline the first place.” spected wrestler in the 171 lb his impossible-to-teach work After many exhausting points, victory in the last game. pumping.” Winning his weight In addition to maintaining weight class over his four years ethic over the past few years, Wilmarth lost her third game 7-9. The team will travel to Choate class at Interschols was an end his outstanding fitness level, at Andover. Cintron has surely preserved the She came from behind and tied the Rosemary Hall this weekend for to a season that has been more Cintron has worked all year to Cintron remarks that the excellence of Andover’s wres- fourth game 9-9, and she pulled the New England Interscholastic difficult than most. find ways to make the team suc- transition from year to year has tling program for many years to out a 10-9 win in overtime, tying Championship. The girls have Being hampered by injuries cessful, while keeping an enjoy- been immense, all leading to the come. the overall match score at 2-2. In been focusing on varying their and pressure from applying to able team atmosphere. present-day success he brings This work ethic has led Hec- the fifth game, she was ahead for serves and making good deci- college, and the wear and tear of This style is clear to his home for Andover. tor to not only a victory at Inter- the majority of the time. With a sions on the court, which should the life of a wrestler in general, teammates. Duncan Crystal ’10, The co-captain described his schols, but also the title of “Out- 7-2 lead, she could not finish and give them an edge at the tourna- has made Cintron “more men- a teammate of Cintron’s for two first few years on the team by standing Wrestler.” In his words, lost by a narrow margin of 7-9. ment. “We’re looking to play well tally tired than usual.” years, sees the intensity and the saying, “When I was a Junior it the title was just “icing on the “Lauren’s match was extreme- and have fun,” Captain Carolyn “Mentally, it is hard to keep playful side of Cintron. was all about being tough and cake.” my mind straight, because at “Every day, when we walk proving myself. I did not settle ly well played and extremely Brown commented, “we definite- By Dave Knapp ly have the potential to do very tournaments there is a lot of into the room, he’s happy. But at in much my Lower year.” close. I think it could have ended Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r up either way, but unfortunately, it well.” waiting. Sometimes I just want the same time, he makes it clear Cintron continued, “In fact, Girls Basketball Goes 0-2 to Drop Below .500 for First Time; Hockey Battles Through Injuries 11 Points from Captain Fox ’08 Can’t Lift Andover Past NMH But Fails to Defeat Westminster This was the first time that the mately have to be decided in the together. By Sarah Onorato two teams met this season, and last few minutes of play. They were slow to help on de- game. Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r Andover was unsure what was in One last glimpse of a lead fense, and Rivers was able to take Continued from Page B1, Column 6 Andover played with a strong store from its opponent. for Andover came when Ansley advantage of Andover’s unenthu- fore-check, and created opportu- off an assist from Harisiades to nities even on these penalty kills. The game proved to be an White ’10 stole the ball from an siastic defense. make the final score 6-3. NMH 48 exciting one, with several lead NMH player and was able to con- When all was said and done, This was a welcomed change of On Wednesday, Andover was pace for Andover, a team that has Andover 39 changes at pivotal moments of vert this defense into offense and the scoreboard indicated a deci- on the road against a tough West- the contest. NMH established it- score off of this turnover. sive victory for Rivers by a final been struggling to find offense for minster hockey team. much of the season. self strongly from the opening tip, In a tough loss, NMH defeat- of 42-29. Coming out with motivation, Rivers 42 and Andover immediately had ed Andover by a score of 39-48, This loss brought the Andover With the score close at 2-1 Andover scored five minutes into and with less than a minute left in Andover 29 to find its stride and quickly get a score that did not portray the record to below .500 for the first the first period when a shot from back into the game. evenly played game. time this season. the third period, Andover pulled Lindsay Newman ’09 deflected its goalie. In the opening half, Andover Despite the loss, Andover This is a clear disappointment and rebounded right to Clegg who Despite a late game steal from Andover could not maintain and NMH battled for breathing managed some respectable num- for Andover, but the team hopes found the back of the net, and put Ansley White ’10 that seem- offensive play, and Westminster room until the halftime buzzer. bers. to finish even this season with a Andover ahead 1-0. ingly gave scored on the empty net to pull A memorable moment in the first Among these was an 11-point win on Saturday against rival Ex- Andover put Westminster on Andover its fi- ahead and make the score 3-1. half was when Hailee Minor ’08 scoring effort by Captain Kelly eter. its heels in the first period and nal momentum, “We were pitted against some sunk a three-point shot with only Fox ’08, accompanied by Minor’s Earlier in the season Andover dominated in the offensive zone. Andover fell pretty tough odds in terms of 38 seconds remaining. This bas- nine point contribution. However, fell just short of victory. Andover With only fourteen seconds left to Northfield losing players to penalties, inju- ket tied the two teams at 14 just this was not enough to pull out a lost by two for a final score of 45- in the first period, Westminster Gi r l s Mount Hermon moments before halftime. win for Andover. 47. ries, and illnesses and everybody a s k e t b a l l got on the scoreboard and tied the B by a final score stepped up to almost overcome a Despite such a close game, This was the fourth loss for This time around, Andover game up. of 39-48. tough game,” said Coach Martha the win felt within Andover’s the Girl’s Varsity Basketball in its looks to avenge the loss in its ar- Winning the face off in An- Andover Girls Basketball is Fenton. reach going into the second half past five contests. This left their guably most crucial game of the dover’s defensive zone, a West- in the midst of a tough streak this Andover adjusted well of play. record at .500, at 9-9. season. minster player took a quick, top- week, collecting two more loss- throughout the period, and Cap- Another key change of mo- Looking to boost their re- Exeter comes into the season shelf shot past Alissa Fromkin ’09. es to its record. Despite several tain Kate Foley ’08 said, “I have mentum occurred in the second cord past this standstill, Andover finale playing its best basketball Fromkin played well throughout changes, Andover was unable to never been more proud of this half when Emily Zinsmeister traveled to the Rivers School on of the season. After suffering a the game, stopping breakaways pull out a win in a close game ver- team.” ’09 was able to grab an offensive Wednesday. tough nine point loss to Worces- and keeping Andover in the game sus NMH. On Saturday, Andover looks rebound and put it back into the The first half was close, with ter, Exeter has won three straight as she has done all season. On the heels of this loss, to get a big win against its rival, hoop for Andover. no clear advantage for either side. games. The Big Red’s record Andover played aggressively Andover suffered another disap- Exeter. Last year, Andover domi- This bucket tied the game The only sign of weakness was stands at 10-8 on the season. throughout the game, and found pointing defeat at the hands of the nated Exeter, and the team looks 23-23 and really seemed to put a Andover’s poor shooting, which Although Andover’s season itself a man down due to some Rivers School. to repeat its success in this year’s jump in Andover’s step. proved detrimental to its offense. has been an up-and-down ride, a undisciplined penalties; however, In a Friday night contest, season finale. However, NMH contained In the second half, things took win over Exeter would end the Andover did not let this affect its the Andover Girls Basketball Andover’s surge, and the game a turn for the worst for Andover. team’s year on a high note. team traveled to take on NMH. remained close. It would ulti- The defense just could not put it Boys Squash Falls to Exeter, 6-1 in Final Match; Icy Course Challenges Nordic Competitors; Inconsistent Play from Team Leads to 2-2 Week Team Looks to Perfect Form Before Final Meets The team anticipates a prom- 21 at Proctor Academy in an event formidable St. Mark’s team on Meyer was the only player to Continued from Page B1, Column 3 ising outcome next week and that is sure to be a valid test of An- By Maggie Law continues to train hard in the final dover’s talent level in comparison Ph i l l i p i a n Sp o r t s Wr i t e r Monday. pull out a victory on the day for up, we have had a great season and The team went into the match Andover. Playing at the number enjoyed the considerable amount weeks of the winter season. to the rest of the schools. Heading into Wednesday’s on Monday unsure of St. Mark’s five spot he swept his opponent, of snow we received,” said Cap- The team will compete in In- match the Boys Squash team skill level and strength, but even- 3-0. tain Ho. terschols on Thursday, February was eager to play its rivals from tually Andover grabbed the vic- Miao remarked, “The match Exeter. Un- tory, 6-1. was a lot closer than the score re- fortunately, Both Miao and Zou shut out flects, as many of us lost 3-1 and the team’s their opponents with easy 3-0 3-2 in matches that could have high energy victories. Johnny Bukawyn ’08, gone either way. They were a couldn’t help Koppel and Meyer all won their good team that worked hard, and the team claim matches, playing well and over- we lost because we got off to slow Bo y s Sq u a s h a victory, and coming their opponents after los- starts.” Andover fell to ing their first games. Bukawyn Miao suffered a tough defeat Exeter, 6-1. came back strong after his first as well, losing his match at the Jorden Zanazzi ’08 won the loss to win his last game 9-0. number one spot to a ninth grader only match of the day, playing Zanazzi played his match to from Belmont Hill. At number a fierce game against his highly five games, eventually defeat- two, Tony Zou ’09 played a sev- seeded opponent. Trey Meyer ’09 ing his St. Mark’s opponent 3-2. enth grader who beat him with a and Dave Koppel ’08 both lost Despite recovering from injury, score of 3-1. Andover agreed Bel- difficult matches after winning he played an intense match and mont Hill was a young but incred- only one of four games. They continues to perform well at the ibly skilled team. both suffered 3-1 losses. number seveb spot. The match at Brooks last Fri- Captain Graham Miao ’09 lost Miao also remarked that the day was a relatively easy win for his match at the number one spot team has developed a great deal the team, as they claimed a 7-0 against Exeter’s strongest player, in terms of mental control and ex- victory, dominating at every posi- falling 3-0. perience, physical conditioning, tion. Last week the team played and technique. Andover will end its regular a busy schedule, facing three On Saturday the team played season with a 9-10 record. The schools in just four days. On Belmont Hill, and Andover’s team heads to Groton for Inter- Thursday they traveled to Brooks, clear lack of focus led to a disap- schols this weekend. M.Discenza/The Phillipian and then on Friday to Belmont pointing 6-1 loss. Captain Dave Holliday ’08 flies out of the double pole start ahead of his opponents in an early Hill. Finally, Andover hosted a uphill stage of the race. B4 Phillipian Arts February 22, 2008

M. Discenza/The Phillipian Abbot Cabaret Improvisation Well-Performed

M. Discenza/The Phillipian

M. Discenza/The Phillipian

M. Discenza/The Phillipian (Clockwise from top left) The audience gasps at Evan Hawk ’08 and Ben Laccetti ’08’s antics. Will Burke ’09 and The Yorkies sing “The Longest Time” by Billy Joel. Patrick Brady ’11 and Yisa Fermin ’08 improvise a commercial. Alex Got- tfried ’09 and Andi Zhou ’09 sing classic pop songs. Evan Hawk ’08 pretends to be a transformer. Azure performs “Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About” by Bonnie Raitt. M. Discenza/The Phillipian M. Discenza/The Phillipian difficulties—the M.C.’s occasionally to his torso. They left the stage to enthusiastic ap- schedule, the Cabaret performers only Lynx Mitchell forgot which performers were next up Since not all of their singers were plause. rehearsed together for the few hours be- and not enough programs were printed. able to make the show on Saturday, Countless individuals worked be- fore the performance. Plus there were Every year, students and parents turn But, overall, the night was an impres- Azure decided to make a few last- hind-the-scenes to make Abbot Cabaret two performances and both on the same their attention to the impressive and al- sive display of talent, skill and humor. minute additions to their number. They 2008 come together. night, which means far fewer people ways popular Grasshopper Night. “The parts that were funny were re- chose a couple girls from other acts in “I was asked to stage manage,” ex- were able to attend the show. Hours of tireless work are put into ally funny,” said Sophie Scolnik-Brow- the show including Lily Shaffer ’10 and plained Eli Grober ’09. “It was stress- Turk said, “The show wasn’t in- making sure the performances are top- er ’08 Hannah Turk ’09, and taught them both ful, especially since [Saturday] was the timidating because it wasn’t in Tang.” notch and parent-appropriate. However, While past versions of Abbot Caba- the lyrics and the movements in the only day we rehearsed. But the acts Having Abbot Cabaret in Kemper Au- long after the Grasshopper Night cur- ret have relied heavily on goofy come- girls’ bathroom right before the show. were great.” ditorium gave it a far more intimate and tains have closed and the performanc- dy, the acts were more varied this year. Although Azure didn’t exhibit quite the Other techies included John Grun- personal feel. es are finished, the curtains rise on a The show primarily consisted of energy of some of the other acts, the beck ’09, Mike Kaluzny ’09 and Lou Although Abbot Cabaret received smaller, more testosterone-filled show small bands, both acoustic and a cap- girls’ wide smiles and Carrie St. Lou- Tejada ’08. Sound masters Phil Hofer much less attention, most of the acts by the Abbot Cluster: Abbot Cabaret! pella, but there was also improv, male is’s ’08 riveting beat-boxing held the ’10 and Will Koven ‘08 ensured the were of similar quality to those in Grass- Abbot Cabaret 2008 spotlighted hip-hop dancing and spoken-word po- audience to their seats. sound for each act was perfect. Koven hopper Night. Both are talent shows, student talent and hilarious skits and etry. dashed back and forth between the au- but the two are very different in nature. video clips from the two masters of The collection from the two dollar dience and Hofer’s table at the side of Grasshopper Night is supposed to be ceremonies, Ben Laccetti ’08 and Evan admission fee was donated to Lazarus “Both [Grasshopper Night and the stage, advising him on which mi- a more professional, polished perfor- Hawk ’08. House, a charity helping those affected crophones needed to be adjusted. While mance, suitable for Parents’ Weekend. There were two performances Satur- by the recent fire in Lawrence, MA. Abbot Cabaret] are talent shows, Hofer admitted that it was “hectic,” On the other hand, Abbot Cabaret is an day night, at 7 and 9 p.m. Considering Moving the performances along, but the two are very different in there were only a couple sound mis- opportunity for students and faculty to Saturday afternoon was the only oppor- the M.C.’s, Laccetti and Hawk, were haps. In addition to all the technical come together and laugh unguarded at tunity the performers had to rehearse as the heart and soul of the evening. They nature... Abbot Cabaret is an op- work, Laura Wu ’10 designed the pro- our own inside jokes. a group, the show went smoothly. managed to unify the show with their portunity for students and fac- gram cover. As Laccetti said at the end of the Sure, the acts didn’t go exactly in various comedy duets. ulty to come together and laugh Despite its similarities with Grass- show, “We’ve learned a lot about life… the order listed on the pro- The premise of their story was sim- hopper Night, Abbot Cabaret was far and crustaceans.” Now, ask yourself; gram. There ple; Ben had found a treasure map in unguarded at our own inside more casual and low-key. Compared could you possibly ask for anything were a couple the library and decided to set out on a jokes.” to the grueling Grasshopper rehearsal more? technical quest with Evan to find the hidden fortune. The great treasure turned out to be a pair of oven mitts which “made their fantasies happen.” The improv group Under the Bed The rest of played a game that required the audi- their acts was ence to provide a word or phrase to in- Writers’ Strike Ends a series of spire a scene between a pair of actors. short come- In the middle of the scene, Abby Colella of “The Office” are not known at this Andrew Townson dies about ’08 called out for the pair to stop mid- time, “30 Rock” plot twists include friend- action and for the audience to supply Jack Donaghy, played by Alec Bald- ship, re- an appropriate topic for a commercial. After a long three months, the Writ- win, being called to serve his country. lation- Then, the improv pair would start per- ers Guild of America’s strike came to The new CW cult hit “Gossip Girl” ships forming using the new cue as inspira- an end last week, the Writers’ Guild will likely return in early April with and PA tion. For instance, Yisa Fermin ’08 and announced in a press release. six more episodes. Producers are even life. Patrick Brady ’11 acted out a side-split- This means that all of the movies considering airing episodes through- The ting scene spurred by the phrases “It’s you were looking forward to seeing out the summer in order to complete M.C.’s contagious!” and “Victoria’s Secret.” are back in production and soon all of this season story arc. your favorite television shows will be acts al- The band Funkopotamus performed Unlike many shows, NBC’s “He- back on the air. roes” will not be returning in the ternated Outkast’s “Hey Ya.” However, it was The Guild finally came to an agree- between a much slower, quieter version of the spring, according to E!. Instead, pro- ment with production companies on ducers plan to resume production in complete original song. The audience loved February 12, 2008, the Guild stated. nonsense Funkopotamus’ performance and even late April and will begin a new season The most notable result of the in the fall. and humor, answered Dan Silva ’08, the band’s strike is that now, writers who produce and the audience singer, with phrases from the song like Producers will consider extending material for the web and other tech- next year’s season to compensate for laughed through- “ice cold” and “yeah.” The last “hey nology will be paid for their services. this year’s brief run. out. ya” was a haunting ending to the song. Writers can expect to receive about Next season’s plot will continue Common Michael Scognamiglio ’10 and one thousand dollars if their show can with its current crisis, the virus threat- themes included Alex Kalil ’09 sang Flight of the Con- be viewed online. ening to kill off 93 percent of the lobsters, mustaches chords’ “The Most Beautiful Girl in the For the movie industry, this means world’s population, but will also focus and sexiness. As the Room.” Scognamiglio brought a girl up that they will resume production short- on the rise of more super villains. For show progressed, to the stage to sing to during each per- ly and that most of the upcoming films now, it looks like the show’s spin-off the two boys also formance. Although Scognamiglio and will be released as planned. “Heroes: Origins” is on hold and plot displayed their Kalil’s voices didn’t blend perfectly, The television industry suffered is being reconsidered. love for cross- their act came across as very heartfelt. the most from the strike and days after Despite its inconvenience, the dressing. Laccetti “Scogs is a wonderful singer,” re- it ended, many popular shows quickly writers’ strike did bring about one even tore off his marked Kalil after the show. began production in order to produce improvement—better reality shows. top layer at the Andi Zhou ’09 and Alex Gottfried enough episodes to finish currently “American Idol” is having one of its end of the per- ’09, also known as Team Rocket, acted interrupted seasons. Although no new strongest seasons because of the ab- formance, re- in one of the more comical scenes of episodes are expected to appear until sence of other shows. vealing a red the evening. The two dressed in the late March, most of the shows are on The new physically challenging strapless dress hooded capes of Christian abbots and the reruns. competition, “American Gladiator,” which soon sang a Gregorian chant as they walked NBC hits “The Office” and “30 and the lie detector game show “The Rock” will both return with fresh epi- slipped down through the middle aisle to the stage. Moment of Truth” lured in enough sodes on April 10, and plan to produce M. Dixcenza/The Phillipian Then, their tune changed to a medley of viewers to bring both back for a sec- around five new episodes to finish off ond season. Evan Hawk ’08 and Ben Laccetti ’08 pretend they are on the Titanic. old pop songs such as “Bye, Bye, Bye.” their seasons. While new storylines February 22, 2008 Phillipian Arts B5 Ancient China Visits Kuumba Honors MOVIE Review Phillips Academy Black History Month the spiderwick With a mix of spiritual and freedom joyed it. It was good to hear tradition- Julie Ingram chronicles Natalie Cheng pieces, the Kuumba Singers performed al Chinese music. It was a welcome passionately and engaged the audience change to what we normally hear at The Kuumba singers of Harvard Uni- with each song. David Janovsky ’11 said, At “The World on a String,” Wang concerts.” versity brought new meaning to the word “It was great…the way the music really Chang-Yuan, a guest performer from Before each song, the performers Kuumba, Swahili for creativity, at last connects was uplifting.” China, played the guzheng, a tradi- took the time to tune the instrument. Friday night’s performance. The group The Kuumba singers took audience tional Chinese musical instrument It may have been necessary to get the expressed creativity in an artistic sense involvement further by asking the au- as well as in an ethical sense by defin- that dates back to the Qin Dynasty right pitch for each song, but it became dience to stand for a piece dedicated to ing it as leaving a place better than one (897-221 BC). a little redundant. Overall, the songs those who struggled for freedom in South finds it. She and her students demonstrated were very well-played and the audi- Africa. The anthem, which is now incor- Scott Dzialo the amazing versatility of the instru- Fofie Mgbako, a four-year senior at porated into the anthem of South Africa, ence really enjoyed them. At the end, Harvard and president of Kuumba, said, ment by playing ancient Chinese songs the musicians received a standing ova- was a song of resistance and freedom. It as well as modern music. “Kuumba spoke to an experience in col- was clear that each singer truly grasped Parents are always looking for the lat- tion. lege that I wanted to have, to learn about est and greatest thing to entertain their kids. Guzheng means “ancient string in- “It was really cool. The sound of the emotion and meaning behind each strument.” Traditionally, the guzheng myself, history and to find a voice in a lyric he or she sang. So, it’s no wonder that Hollywood’s fam- the guzheng is very unique. I am glad I new place…Kuumba is about communi- ily movie market is absolutely booming. was played solely for the emperor, came because I never thought I would The performance was interesting his family and certain privileged of- ty, which originated with black students from beginning to end. Even if there was Whenever a PG- or G-rated film hits the- ever hear something quite like this. It aters, it’s almost certain to be in the top 10 at ficials. at Harvard needing a place to express a recurring motive, the pieces never felt is nice to hear music from different themselves at a turbulent time. That is the box-office. However, family films tend The modern-day guzheng has be- redundant because of how passionately cultures. You do not get to experience what we try to continue to do for each to rely too much on cheap Computer Gen- tween 15 and 25 strings and a large the singers threw themselves into each that often,” said Audrey McMurtrie part, each rehearsal, each performance. and every word or hum. They also kept erated Imagery (CGI) and unfunny jokes to hollow center to amplify its sound. ’11. We are learning about each other.” appeal to children. After watching its trailer, The guzheng is played by plucking, the sound fresh by clapping, swaying and stomping, which was very effective I decided I would see “The Spiderwick strumming and pushing down on the Chronicles,” hoping it would distinguish it- in creating an image of people who sang strings. self from the rest of the movies in the family to keep their morale high as they trudged “The strength with which you market today. pluck the strings determines the depth across a river in the last piece, “Jordan Directed by Mark Walters, the same and volume of the sound,” said Ms. River.” guy who brought you the teen hit “Mean Beyond the overwhelming spirit and Wang. Girls,” “The Spiderwick Chronicles” adapts enthusiasm each singer expressed, the This concert included traditional five hit children’s books into one major mo- Kuumba Singers had deep, strong voices. songs as well as modern music selec- tion picture. Following a nasty divorce, Their voices allowed them to sing with- Helen Grace (Mary-Louise Parker) brings tions such as “Oh! Susanna” to exhibit out the accompaniment of any other in- the guzheng’s versatility. her family of three out of New York City struments except for a small percussion to live in the house of their great-great- I thought Ms. Wang was the most accompaniment in the first piece. talented musician out of the three that uncle, Arthur Spiderwick. Eighty years Each piece featured a different solo- before, Arthur had mysteriously vanished played. ist or lead vocalist, and each lead vocalist while searching for clues about mythical She started playing the guzheng at featured a different quality in his or her realms. When the Grace family moves into age nine and has performed in many voice to fit the piece. Even though there the creepy house Arthur left behind, young concerts since. After mastering the gu- were moments when a singer missed a Jared Grace (Freddie Highmore) discovers zheng, she went on to compose a few pitch, it seemed irrelevant because of the an old book written by Arthur Spiderwick of her own pieces. The most renowned sheer power and soul in his or her voice. himself. Ignoring the note of warning on are “Battling the Typhoon” and “The The group as a whole also had a very its outside, Jared reads the book’s contents, Seabird Defeats the Crane.” These good balance between its basses, tenors, which reveals to him the secrets of the land two songs were the best out of the 15 altos and sopranos. of faeries and goblins. However, once Jared songs played because they incorpo- Balance of high and low was one of opens the book, the evil ogre Mulgarath rated numerous different techniques the few downfalls of Phillips Academy’s (voiced by Nick Nolte) begins his search for and sounds, creating different tones own Gospel Choir, which lacked suffi- Jared to obtain the secrets he now knows. throughout the songs. cient bass and power on the low notes. So, the Grace kids must defeat Mulgarath’s Ms. Wang was accompanied by two Though clearly inexperienced, the Gos- evil army while keeping the book out of of her students. They each performed pel Choir succeeded in creating an upbeat harm’s way. solos and played with Ms. Wang. All atmosphere before the more dramatic I know many people who’ve read and three musicians were dressed in tradi- sound of the Kuumba Singers. The Gos- thoroughly enjoyed the “Spiderwick” books. However, all you have to do is look at the tional Chinese garb. The two younger pel Choir opened for the Kuumba singers “Harry Potter” movies to know that book- performers were less experienced than with an encore presentation of the same songs they sang for All-School Meeting to-film adaptations don’t always capture the Ms. Wang. They needed sheet music on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in Janu- spirit of a fantasy story. “Spiderwick” is an to aid them and did not seem to be as ary, featuring Chelsea Quezergue ’10, unglamorous movie and is sure to disap- involved with the instrument as their who did an excellent job filling in for point newcomers and old fans alike. instructor. Also, the songs they played Hailee Minor ’08, and Peter Yang ’10 in In comparison to film scripts, books were technically simpler than those “Testimony.” have it easy. They can use lengthy and ad- Ms. Wang played. M. Discenza/The Phillipian Mgbako, president of the Kuumba jective-laden descriptions to paint pictures (Top) Harvard’s Kuumba singers sing, hum, clap, stomp and sway to spiritual Jen Morgan ’09 said, “I really en- Singers said, “It was a great evening. of fantastical creatures in the minds of read- pieces. (Bottom) Ms. Wang Chang-Yuan and her students play the guzheng. [The Gospel Choir] was phenomenal, es- ers. However, scripts have to rely only on pecially the soloists. We had a lot of fun; dialogue. So, it’s incredibly important that it is a beautiful space and really made it book-to-movie scripts have very good adap- a special night. We are pleased to be here tations. However, “The Spiderwick Chron- Af-Lat-Am Food Bazaar and hope to come back in the future.” icles’” script is atrocious. Every line comes Linda Griffith, Instructor in English out forced and fake; none of the dialogue and Director of CAMD, said, “I thought gives the sense of genuine human emotion. Food From Every Quarter the choir was fantastic. It was a wonder- Instead, you’re left with arguments and stu- be monotonous, and if that monotony can that the organizers made more tickets by pid rhymes pushing the script forward. Audrey Adu-Appiah ful event for the middle of Black History be cured while informing students about hand. Month. I was very pleased that they talk- Whereas books have an easier job than different cultures, then doing so is im- Head of School Barbara Chase ed about the history and traditions, tying scripts any day, movies do have one benefit After eating Uncommons’ food for that stories lack: the use of visuals. Movies perative. dropped by. “I see kids from all over the in art and spiritual aspects to create a weeks, Phillips Academy students are ea- can literally paint a picture for the audience. “It’s nice, especially on a Sunday af- place here and the food is delicious,” nice climax [for Black History Month]… ger for home-cooked food. With this in However, if done poorly, a movie falls flat ternoon, to have food—getting a break said Chase. “Thinking about different They were incredibly talented and inspi- mind, Af-Lat-Am set to work putting to- in comparison to what people imagine it from a hard weekend,” said Demetrius cultures… that’s what Phillips Academy rational.” gether their annual cultural Food Bazaar. Lalane ’11. is all about.” should be. The CGI effects in “The Spider- As African and Latin music mingled By the time the meal was over, Af- wick Chronicles” come across as somewhat with the sounds of laughter and conversa- Lat-Am achieved its goal; students and boring rather than fantastical. The ogres and tion, volunteers and Af-Lat-Am members faculty learned about other cultures faeries and goblins are nothing you haven’t served self-made dishes that ranged from through the music, food and a comfort- seen before. They simply fail to amaze and corn bread and quesadillas to plantains Indo-Pak entertain. The effects specialists could have able atmosphere that easily sparked con- and sweet potato pie. versation. done something really extreme and wonder- ful with the creatures. Instead, they took the The popular event ran on a ticket sys- “Having food that you’ve never tried tem. Students and faculty paid for tickets Dinner and a Show path of commonality and the movie pays before, going out of your boundaries… Rajit Malhotra ’08, said, “As far as the the price for it. that cost 25 cents each and used the rev- Andrew Khang dinner itself went, it was a big change it’s unique,” said Vivian Chen ’10 over a The one area that “The Spiderwick enue to buy food that represented various plate of African rice. for Indo-Pak and a bit of an experiment. different cultures. The Food Bazaar has The Food Bazaar incorporated food Students were greeted by the sound We had never had the charity dinner been held annually since Af-Lat-Am’s from the United States, Jamaica, Colum- of Bollywood music, the smell of fine on Abbot campus and were unsure how 2004-2005 board. bia, Peru, Uganda, Nigeria and the Carib- Indian cuisine and vibrant Indian décor the turnout would be considering some Af-Lat-Am President Atima Lui ’08, bean islands. when they arrived at the Indo-Pak char- students may not like to walk all the way who led the organization of the Food With dishes such as lomo saltado ity dinner at Davis Hall on Abbot Cam- up to Abbot in the cold weather. How- Bazaar, listed the purposes of the event (beef, vegetables and potatoes), matooke pus. while running around, collecting tickets ever, it was a full house and we had over (beef stew) and chapatti (a type of flat Waiters and waitresses were uni- and delegating tasks. 120 people attend, including faculty, bread), it was difficult not to find some- formly clad in black and were draped in The Food Bazaar’s primary aim was students and some day student parents.” thing new. fancy scarves called chunni. To further for the members of Af-Lat-Am and other However, the location was not the Carolyn Brown ’09 said, “I haven’t add to the exotic ambiance, twin ele- only experimental aspect of the annual community members to share their cul- tried most of this food before… This has ture. phant statues were displayed underneath event. This year was the very first time been a really good food weekend, with the elegantly hung Indian and Pakistani that Indo-Pak had decided to provide “I think it’s just to share a part of our Indo-Pak and the Food Bazaar. Every- culture, and a big part of culture is food. flags. The flags were further accentuated live entertainment throughout the eve- thing I’ve tried here has been so good.” by the beautiful arrangement of saris, or ning for its guests. In between courses, So [the purpose is] to share that with the The event’s biggest hits included plan- long, multicolored strips of unstitched student members of Indo-Pak performed community and have fun at the same tains and sweet potato pie. “I’m so happy Chronicles” actually delivers in is action. cloth. two traditional Indian pieces. time,” said Nkemdilim Oghedo ’08, an with the turnout,” said Lui. The food was A few scenes involve the children running Af-Lat-Am board member. Lui also men- This sharing of culture was quite an The first performance consisted of practically gone by three o’clock, and the accomplishment, and it was clear that from evil monsters who are hell-bent on tioned that the food at Uncommons can board had run out of tickets so quickly Faiyad Ahmad ’10 on the sarod (an an- killing them. As they bolt through secret a lot of time and effort had been put in cient stringed instrument), Rajit Mal- passageways beneath the ground and evade toward planning the eighth annual Indo- hotra ’08 and Rohan Malhotra ’11 on toad-like goblins, the audience really enjoys Pak Charity Dinner. the tabla (a popular Indian percussion itself. The action breaks up the monotony of This event, which is hosted by Indo- instrument) and Arun Saigal ’09 on the the slow, dialogue-heavy scenes. In fact, any Pak every year, was a three-course tra- mridangam (a South Indian double- scene without dialogue is a relief to watch ditional Indian dinner, in which dishes headed drum). They played a seven- and the action doesn’t fail to intrigue and such as chicken tikka masala, pankoras minute piece with various solos by each even frighten the audience. Just because it’s and mutter paneer were served. Students instrument. a kids movie doesn’t mean that it can’t have were also presented with an assortment This act was followed by another be- a few scares. Unfortunately, these scenes of traditional Indian entertainment. All tween the serving of the main course and are so few and far between that they don’t the proceeds of the evening were donat- the dessert, in which Gauri Thaker ’10, save this movie from its own tediousness. ed to a charitable cause in India. Ramya Prathuri ’10, Shefali Lohia ’10 “The Spiderwick Chronicles” is a fam- Arun Saigal ’09 said, “Indo-Pak’s and Kiran Gill ’11 performed an intri- ily film that won’t just leave adults bored, goal is to spread cultural awareness cate Bollywood dance. but kids too. It’s a poor imitation of a story that should have amazed and entertained. of South Asian countries and host fun “I enjoyed the dancing by Ramya, Instead, the movie comes across as laugh- events for all. And of course, we want to Shefali, Gauri and Kiran the most. They help those in need. This certainly helped ably bad. The script is garbage and the visu- were amazing, and after cleanup, they als air on the side of the mundane. The only Indo-Pak spread culture, and at the same taught the rest of the club how do to thing that breaks up the dullness of the rest time, it allowed us to help those in need. parts of it,” said Sophia Jia ’10. of the film is the occasional action. Leave One-hundred percent of the profits from Overall, the excellent blend of rich “The Spiderwick Chronicles” alone. You the dinner go to charity every year. This Southeast Asian culture, gourmet In- have much better things to spend your time year, we raised over $1600, which may dian dining and tasteful furnishings and and money on. be the most we have ever raised.” S. Sheu/The Phillipian ambiance made the evening a huge suc- One of the co-heads of Indo-Pak, cess. Grade: 2- Kelicia Hollis ’08 and Nkem Oghedo ’08 serve food at the Af-Lat-Am Food Bazaar. B6 THE PHILLIPIAN FEATURES FEBRUARY 22, 2008

From the Outbox of the OHWL

for glory. One competitor, ranked bar would be crucial, and star power by Billy Fowkes 32nd coming in, was stunned to find timing would clearly be the key to FEATURES PRE-GAME PISS himself in the final group, and, as a a victory. The finalists were neck result, passed out during his most and neck, trading off stellar combos To Whom It May Concern (and to all others whom it may not directly concern but whose best inter- Blood was shed, lives were on est it would be to continue reading anyway): the line and a whole lot of pride important solo of the night. as the most dreaded solo in Guitar was lost. Breaking the PA record While his female backup kicked Hero history approached. for highest number of losers in the him aside and filled in as quickly as But then it happened. As one It has come to my attention that this past week there were two more pranks pulled in our very same room playing plastic, color- possible, the Xbox knew that some- player finished up his long stretch own Oliver Wendell Holmes Library. This brings two issues to mind. First of all, the library and FEATURES CIRCUS coordinated guitars at once, this past thing was wrong with this and blew of 5-note chords, the other thrust its staff are not receiving the kind of respect they deserve. Second, taking away DVD’s for one up the moment she grabbed the gui- backward with the guitar pointing weekend’s Guitar Hero contest was weekend does not turn students into well-mannered, respectable library-goers as we had originally an undeniable success. tar. The stage was now set for the up to initiate star power. He let out championship. a scream. thought. No matter the intentions or seemingly harmlessness of the said pranks, they should not, The scent of testosterone and cannot, and will not go unnoticed. It pains me to do so, but I must inform you that there will be con- sweaty appendages overtook Un- There was no handshake, eye “Nooooooo! My whammy derwood Room. The male to female contact, warm-up or even a simple hand!” Getting caught underneath sequences for such immature acts. Although I am sure that at least half of you were not involved, ratio was wider than your mother’s “good luck.” This was the real deal— the whammy bar, his right hand had we’re just going to punish all of you anyway. waistline. Before the tournament the big show. This was the one that snapped backward with his pow- On Monday night, some delinquents thought it would be funny to replace the toilet paper in began, participants took a moment would decide who would go home erful hip thrust. An on-site trainer the library facilities with the “Arts” section of The Phillipian. While it is quite surprising that the with some new lady friends and rushed to his side and felt his hand. to pray, stretched out in one of the disappearance of this section went strangely unnoticed, that is beside the point. This prank is much room’s many corners and practiced who would be just another kid to get “Sorry pal, this hand won’t be able smacked around and disowned by to whammy for about six months. more serious than it may seem. It is the job and the privilege of the library staff to assist students their own unique methods of prepa- with any library needs. We enjoy finding books and getting information for students’ research ration. his father later that night. This one It’s busted,” the trainer said with a “Pre-game piss,” one competitor would decide who would win the frown on his face. projects. However, our ability to lend a hand last Monday was hindered, as many students were exclaimed. “There’s nothing better iTunes gift card. It was on. But quickly turning the frown stranded in the restroom without the aid of the school’s precious two-ply. After considering my op- if you want to succeed in this sport. Beginning with a simple se- into a smile he exclaimed, “Con- tions, I conclude that an expendable privilege on campus must be sacrificed for this weekend. The quence of green-red-yellow com- gratulations, we have a new Guitar It loosens the muscles, which is key. school’s restrooms will be locked tight from the time classes end on Friday until Monday morning. I think that is what will ultimately bos, the finalists were off to perfect Hero champion!” The crowd erupt- starts. With a relatively easy song, ed. It had been decided. A new leg- Under no circumstances will any librarian or OWHL staff member open these facilities to the pub- decide who wins this tournament.” lic during this time period. Any students with bowel or bladder-related “accidents” shall be held With the players ready, the the participants knew the whammy end was born. early rounds began, and the men responsible for their own actions. were quickly separated from the Also, on Thursday morning, while opening the library, the staff found the remnant of another boys. While the favorites did not disturbing prank. Written in spray paint on the innocent brick walls of OWHL were vulgar phrases disappoint, many newcomers failed such as: “Catboner,” “AHS rules” and “Boy, it’s a good thing we go to Andover High School and songs and were immediately subject not Phillips Academy or we sure could get in a lot of trouble for this.” Now, although we do not to “get a life” chants and physical know the exact culprits of this vicious assault on school property, we are absolutely convinced that abuse from the crowd. One particu- larly awful moment during the night they were students or faculty members of this institution. Our only choice is to revoke the privilege came when two participants stood that was misused by the felons. Throughout out next week, it is required that teachers remove all on the wrong sides of the screen, writing utensils from the possession of students in their classes. This weekend, dorms will have confusing themselves and eventu- mandatory room checks and all pencils, pens, chalk, chisels and etch-a-sketches will be confiscated ally failing the song. The crowd did until next weekend. As for day students, a letter has already been sent home to parents urging them not deal kindly, quickly disposing of to do the same. There will be no exceptions for tests, essays or any orther assignments. the two. Again, these pranks are very serious, and I hope the punishments that have been handed out “You know, it’s tough to watch your friends get atomic wedgies prove that any disrespect shown towards the library and its staff will be dealt with severely. To over something like that, but at the make my point clear, I have decided that there will be one more penalty for the antics that occurred same time you have to be a part this week. Until further notice, Uncommons will be moved about five miles from its present spot of the sport and please the fans,” to a newly opened lot on Abbot campus. Just think about all the exercise you’ll be getting from the said one enthusiastic guitar hero. extra walk, and it won’t seem like a punishment at all. We realize this punishment has nothing to “Screen switching is difficult to deal do with the aforementioned pranks, but hey, we’re the OWHL. We do what we want. Remember, with, but you have to be able to play from all angles. That’s something the library and its staff are here to help you, not to clean up after you. Nonetheless, I hope all have you have to know how to do from a good weekend, and I hope the juvenile pranks of a few will not disturb the weekend and the fol- day one.” lowing week for the rest of you. With excitement building as the finals slowly approached, a feel- Sincerely, ing of nervousness began to set Oliver Wendell Holmes VI in among the participants, and, as B.Podell/The Phillipian —Greg Hanafin expected, a number of participants Billy Fowkes ’10 activates star power on big guitar riff. It’s too were forced to drop from the fight bad no one is listening.

Features Presents... op College with Chris! T Ten A behind-the scenes look at the college interview process Ways to get arrested on campus

Mrs. Michaelson: Hi, please sit down. Mrs. Michaelson: I don’t see the problem Mrs. Michaelson: I’m sure it will be there with Fritos. when we’re done. Now let me ask you, is 10. Smuggling bandwidth Chris: Thanks. I’m glad we’ll be sitting, be- there anything in your academic record that cause I have a nasty stain on the seat of my Chris: I’ll tell you the problem, Cindy. Fritos you feel needs an explanation? This is your pants that I don’t want you to see. are too salty. Do you know what Fritos are? chance to inform the admissions committee A Frito looks like a chicken’s toenail. That is, of anything important that may not be appar- 9. “Forgetting” to show up Mrs. Michaelson: Oh, don’t worry about it. if chickens were the size of people and didn’t ent on your application. Let me introduce myself. I’m Cindy Michael- properly treat their infected toenails. I think for work duty son, class of ’73. I was a Spanish major. Fritos are made only to entice consumers to Chris: I’ll just say this: Upper year was a purchase expensive drinks. I’m surprised Fri- fluke. I played way too much Halo to be held Chris: My neighbor, Francis Martinez, was tos don’t come with a drink. “Here are your accountable for my grades. a lieutenant in the Spanish military. Do you Fritos, sir. And enjoy this $5 Frito-ade.” 8. Speaking in, around or know him? Mrs. Michaelson: I’ll be sure to mention Mrs. Michaelson: This seems to be some- that to the committee. Let’s change gears a near the library Mrs. Michaelson: I was a Spanish major, as thing you’re passionate about. bit here. If you could change one thing about in, my academic concentration. I have not the world, what would it be? served in the military. Chris: It certainly is. Is it strange to ask to use the restroom during a 15-minute inter- Chris: World peace. Just kidding, that’s ab- 7. Playing “The Most Dangerous Chris: That’s too bad. Francis is the man. view? surd. Did you see the movie “Superbad?” I He’s picking me up after this and we’re go- wish that movie had lasted another 30 min- Game” in the Sanctuary ing bowling. Mrs. Michaelson: Well, I guess if you have utes. It was so hilarious. I guess not all adults to go. like it. I mean, how do you feel about penis Mrs. Michaelson: How nice. Is bowling one jokes? of your hobbies? Chris: Thanks. 6. Having illegal parietals Mrs. Michaelson: I’m not going to answer Chris: It is. I’ll often play a round or two, (Chris leaves then returns three minutes later that, Chris. I think we’ve spoken enough. with faculty children then leave without returning the shoes. without his tie) Thanks for meeting with me today.

Mrs. Michaelson: So you steal bowling Mrs. Michaelson: Chris, what happened to Chris: Anytime, Cindy. Are you going to footwear? your tie? give me your business card? If you do, I’ll 5. “Earning” your beads at the feel obligated to write you a ‘thank you’ Chris: Only if Francis manages to create a Chris: Oh my goodness. I forgot to put it note. Mardi Gras dance distraction. He usually pretends to drop a back on. ball on his foot or to choke on a corndog. Mrs. Michaelson: Are you saying you don’t Mrs. Michaelson: Why did you take it off in want my contact information? Mrs. Michaelson: Let’s talk about a problem the bathroom, Chris? 4. Doing too few you’ve confronted recently. When did you Chris: I’m just saying that I don’t own any step up as a leader and encourage change? Chris: I didn’t want my tie to dip into the stationery and my note will be written on the extracurricular activities toilet bowl when I sat down. bottom of a stolen bowling shoe. Chris: Alright: my friends and I were behind a drugstore spray-painting graffiti, and all of Mrs. Michaelson: You were moving your Mrs. Michaelson: Goodbye, Chris. a sudden one of them says, “Hey, let’s get bowels just now? 3. Hijacking the PAPS walkie-talkie some food.” So we enter the drugstore and —Jonathan Adler guess what he selects as his snack? Fritos! Chris: Yes. And I left my tie in the stall. network to broadcast “The Political Arena with Alexander B. Heffner”

Got a 2400 on the SATs? 2. Aborting the Cool Don’t write for Features. 1. Stealing copper downspouts [email protected] - [email protected] from Samuel Phillips Hall THE PHILLIPIAN FEATURES FEBRUARY 22, 2008 B7

Features Circus

The Temporary Tattoo Man! The Bearded Man! Hey all you kiddies! Guess what? Don’t be afraid of the temporary tat- Susan Chicks, our former Beard- tooed man’s ghastly appearance, for The circus is in town! ed Lady, has recently underwent we assure you that all of his clever And we’ve brought crazy circusfolk a sex reassignment surgery, af- cartoon flaming skulls will come firming a newfound gender role. off with a couple of good scrubs and their sideshow buddies too! Now going by “Gary,” Susan has with soap and water. And trust us; —Lawrence Dai, Eli Grober, Ryan Yost become the infamous Bearded this guy is experienced with tem- Man of the Features Circus. porary body art. No one knows the While other sideshows may be feeling of warm, wet towels being able to offer “actual” human pressed up against the skin better physical oddities, we here at the than our own temporary tattoed Features Circus respect the needs man! Check out the Mario tattoo of our sideshow folk and are on his back while you still can. It’ll more than happy for Susan...we only last for a couple more days. From the Desk of the Ringleader... mean... Gary...

Dear Diary, From the Desk of the Lion Tamer... From the Desk of the Trapeze Artists... So many things went wrong in the show today. I don’t even know where to start. Lion tamer Joe managed to piss off ol’ Bessie the lion Dear Diary, so much that she tore his arm off. He deserved it in my opinion. Joe Dear Diary, You are so lucky that horrible lion didn’t bite off my writing never knows when to quit. I guess it’s partly my fault for letting him Jail isn’t so bad. I’d rather rot in jail all my life then have to hand, or else I would have never been able to write in you again. wrap his arm in raw meat and wave it around. perform with that nuisance Helga. I think she wanted to steal the I don’t really know why she bit me in the first place. All I did was The two trapeze artists, Melinda and Helga have been fighting spotlight from me, because every day she’d waltz into practice wrap my arm in raw meat, and then wave it in front of her face. I all week. This finally peaked tonight when Melinda purposefully and go flirt with Tom, our ringleader. I heard they were going out thought it would give my act a little more “umpf,” but all it did was dropped Helga in the big finale. I think Melinda might have been for a while, until Tom found out that she had done the dirty deed cause everyone in the audience to take pictures with their phones jealous of the relationship Helga and I had. So all in all, I’m down with the poop scooper in the lion cages. After that, I was the main and then leave. I did manage to get in the top 10 vids on Youtube. a performer, a girlfriend and I have to go to Melinda’s trial. She’s acrobat of the show. But Helga still insisted on overtaking me. I Then, I was a guest on Jay Leno and was nominated for dumbest looking at 25 to life. did what had to be done, for the better sake of the circus. A bladed person in the Darwin Awards. Things are looking pretty darn good, The tight rope walker, Jeremy, showed up drunk as a skunk, so baton has never been used in a better way. Diary. you can imagine how tough it must have been for him to walk on a rope suspended 50 feet above the ground. The best way to describe it From the Desk of the Diary... would be a horribly failed drug test. I can barely walk on the yellow The Incredible Ice Eater! line when a cop pulls me over, but this guy made it halfway across Dear Helga, Anyone with a tank of gasoline a rope. A raise might be in his future. That, along with a stomach pump. and a box of matches can pre- Hello? Anyone there? tend to eat fire. Ice eating, on the The fire blower ate onions for lunch, so the whole place smelled. other hand, is of the noblest of art At first, I thought people were crying because they were so amazed From, Diary forms. Our own professional ice by the show, but when my eyes started to burn, I finally realized what eater downs her cubes straight was going on. When I asked him why he ate onions, he said it was to from the tray. Raised in the far get the gasoline taste out of his mouth. I plan on introducing him to From the Desk of the Poop Scooper... away land of Montana, 15-year- Listerine pocket strips soon. old Bridgette Hitchens has been Hobo the Clown thought it would be funny to make balloons for Dear Diary, eating ice since she was born, the kids that were in the shape of human reproductive organs. I have I don’t get enough credit at this circus. When I pick up the poop even though her orthodontist ad- to go to his hearing right after Melinda’s. It is possible that half of the of those elephants, I am saving everyone within smelling distance performers in my circus are criminals or have served some jail time. vised her against it. Supposedly, from watery eyes and singed nose hair. I sometimes think elephant The fire blower singed the hair off of his girlfriend’s pet cat, and the it’s bad for her braces. But even crap would be a great biological weapon against terrorists. Just strong man had countless battery charges, and sometimes they were without the added danger, ice drop a few tons of that stuff on the enemy and you’re in business. unintentional. He just keeps forgetting what a light pat on the back eating proves to be a most death- An idea like that might just get me out of this hell hole and rollin’ defying feat. is, and he even broke some guy’s arm giving him a handshake. Diary, what should I do? in the Benjamins.

The Stupendous Lactard! Ladies and gentlemen, don’t be afraid of this young man’s appearance! You’ll forgive him after you realize the mag- nitude his terrible, terrible ailment. For Being A Human Cannonball you see, the amazing lactose intoler- A Features Exclusive Interview ant man is unable to ingest any milk or dairy products. Step right up and see for yourself! He’s unable to metabolize The Phillipian: Hi Gerard, how are you this afternoon? Gerard: Okay! Okay. I do belong to the Union. But lactose like us regular people! At least, please, please, please don’t tell management. You don’t not without some kind of weird-tasting Gerard: Frightened. want know the things they do to Union members. One of pill/powdery stuff that isn’t worth the the tightrope walkers was caught on his way to a meet- trouble because dairy products just The Phillipian: I’m sure you are, Gerard, I’m sure you ing and he was forced to unicycle in circles until he’d aren’t all that great! Come see this are. Now, how long have you been a “human cannon- dug a five foot hole in the ring with the tire. He hasn’t genuine freak of nature! Watch him ball,” as they call you? been right in the head since. drink his little carton of soy milk as he cries. It’s a good thing he isn’t allergic Gerard: Since I was a kid. Please help me. I don’t want The Phillipian: Well, isn’t that exciting! And what is to his own tears, or he’d probably be in to go back in that thing and get shot out of it again. I the Circus Workers Union up to these days? anaphylactic shock by now. As a result never wanted to do it in the first place—they made me. I of the lack of calcium in his diet, he was only six years old—I didn’t know what I was doing! Gerard: I can’t tell you that. We’ve already talked too has morphed into a giant jug of Kool- I didn’t know right from wrong. much. Aid. He is also a part-time actor who’s best known for breaking through brick The Phillipian: Well, that’s just wonderful that this cir- The Phillipian: Gerard, please tell me. Then I won’t walls. Oh yeah! cus lets kids follow their dreams. Now, have you always have to hurt your family. enjoyed stuffing yourself into a metallic tube and get- ting shot through the air with buckets of gun powder? Gerard: What?

Gerard: I don’t enjoy it! They force me to do it! They’ll The Phillipian: Gerard! take my family away if I don’t do this act. You’re not Reasons why THE FEATURES CIRCUS even listening! Gerard: Okay, fine! We just want better work hours, new Vaseline tubs for wiping down the cannons with, The Phillipian: That’s nice—how many buckets of gun better tightrope facilities and bigger space inside the se- is better than THE FAMILY CIRCUS powder did you say it takes? dan that the clowns have to all fit into. Like an Audi or something. • Because no one • Because the Features Gerard: Five, but I didn’t say anything about that be- cares where Jeffy’s Circus does not (The reporter furiously types what he hears into his iP- fore. I was trying to tell you that— dotted line takes hone. He proceeds to laugh forebodingly) promote Christian The Phillipian: Wow! Five buckets? That many? Huh, it him this week beliefs and values must get pretty stuffy in that cannon. I’m surprised you Gerard: Okay... —we’re devout do this happily for a living. • Because the Scientiologists The Phillipian: One final question, Gerard, before I let Features Gerard: No! You don’t under— you go back to work. Circus • Because would what kind The Phillipian: Well, Gerard, I’m afraid we have only Gerard: We were off the record for the union thing, never be of name is so much time for this interview. Let’s move on, shall right? caught we? “Jeffy” The Phillipian: My question, Gerard, is this: if you driving anyways? Gerard: Fine. Whatever. could choose one place to be deported, where would it around in be? an old, beat- • Because the The Phillipian: Now, I was told earlier today that you up minivan Features Circus belong to the Circus Workers Union. Is this correct? Gerard: Look, I have a show in 20 minutes and I have is actually funny to go grease up, so if you don’t mind. Gerard: No, of course not. The Phillipian: Not at all, Gerard. Not at all. The Phillipian: Now, Gerard, don’t lie to me. I have a “Look, Daddy! That boy’s mommy is piece of paper here that says— —Eli Grober eating her own poopy!” B8 THE PHILLIPIAN FEATURES FEBRUARY 22, 2008 FEATURES PRESENTS...

“TOILET HUMOR AT ITS FINEST!” We know what its like to sit around on the can in a bathroom stall. Our stomachs don’t quite agree with Taco Tuesday. It’s not our faults—loud flatulence just runs in the family. Anyways, you think to yourself: “If only I had something interesting to read right now.”

Well, now you do. MORS∑ —Lawrence Dai, Eli Grober †hE CHAPEL who wants the last piece of π? rabbi goldman-fernstein is a hottay with a boday

lame joke

If you are given three separate directional derivatives and the equation of a plane pope john paul II to which all three aretraveling normal, howalong can any you line determine on that plane?the velocity of a a particle -Mr. Integrandster 6.4 n-x3ø And the Lord said unto Consti- pation: “Be goneth evil demon! BLUE! Thou shalt never wreak havoc 4Σμπ with thy bowels again!”

—Gospel of Ex-lax 43:23

who still uses this anyways? I entrust God with all my wiping needs

S.Sheu/The Phillipian M.Discenza/The Phillipian Ge¯Lß PeARSΩN I totally hooked up with that cute dead cat from the boyle dissection today hayward ’IV can’t use the genetive ------?!?!?

what a toolus

c. darwin You know I do! - The O-Man

feces molecule!

M.Discenza/The Phillipian S.Sheu/The Phillipian