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5-7-1929

The Crescent - May 7, 1929

George Fox University Archives

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Recommended Citation George Fox University Archives, "The Crescent - May 7, 1929" (1929). "The Crescent" Student Newspaper. 333. https://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/the_crescent/333

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VOLUME XL NEWBBRG, OREGON, MAY 7, 1929 NUMBER 14

PACIFIC COLLEGE HEARS DR. RUSSELL DISCUSSES FRESHMAN PLAY IS NOTED PEACE SPEAKER ECONOMICS OF HEALTH TENNIS TOURNAMENT VOTED BIG SUCCESS Group of High School Students Guests Work of Child Welfare Demonstration WON BY LINFIELD of College and Hear Mrs. Mead Is Vital Factor in Public Health Exciting Situations Hold Atten- Lucia Aimes Mead, noted speaker on "The Economics of Public Health" Pacific Students Witness May World Peace, gave an inspiring address was the subject discussed by Dr. Rus- tion of Large Audience sell of the Marion County Child Health Day Exercises May 3 at the chapel period to the college stu- Demonstration. Dr. Russell told of the dents and a group of visiting High Showing flashes of real talent and nature and need of the sort of work The Pacific College men's and wom- carrying the delighted attention of a School students. War, she said, is in which he is engaged. en's tennis teams went down to de- capacity audience throughout the per- "one great evil which ought to be end- ' The child, he pointed out, is an eco- | feat before the Linfield College mixed formance, a play cast selected from ed in our day." nomic asset to a community. There- j tennis team by a score of four matches the freshman class very successfully fore from a purely economic viewpoint i to three, on the Linfield courts, Friday, Leaders are realizing that the na- presented A. E. Thomas's "Come Out child health promotion is a very im- May 3. The Quakers were more kind- tions stumbled into the last war. Lloyd of the Kitchen" in Wood-Mar hall, Fri- portant project in the community. Ma- hearted in helping make the Linfield day evening, May 3. George has said that no ruler wanted terial assets, however, do not equal vi- May Day a success than were either it. '"Twas only a few made war," Mrs. tal asset. The play, which has heen winning Columbia University or Albany College; Mead said, and added that war comes audiences for a number of years deals The medical profession is working Columbia winning in baseball and Al- from the highly educated people—uni- with the efforts of the Dangerfield fam- to prevent death, disease, faulty meth- bany in track. ily two brothers and two sisters to versity people, who do not know the ods of living and social incompatabil- The morning matches were stopped save their fine old southern home from first principles of international rela- ity. "At least one-third of deaths are by a sudden downpour of rain that financial ruin during the absence of tions. preventable," Dr. Russell said. From lasted just long enough to postpone fur- the average span of life of 42 years their father who is undergoing a se- Mrs. Mead spoke of the horrors of ther playing until 1:30. The games rious operation in Vienna, by leasing in 1900, the span is now 57.7 years. started at 10:00, immediately following war and pointed out "this thing can By introduction of sanitation, infant it to a wealthy Yankee for a few weeks. be averted, and must be averted. We the coronation of May Queen Ethel II Since the northerner stipulates white mortality has decreased from 17 per of Linfield. The first singles were can stop it between nations. We can cent to 7 per cent in the last few years. servants, the four brothers and sisters do it now." played first. Winifred Woodward ral- find it necessary to act as domestics "Can any community claim progress lied too late and lost to McGillvray, In their own home for a few days, There are several kinds of prepared- by beautiful buildings, and the like, Wildcat star, in a very close match. and it is this struggle of southern aris- ness. The preparedness advocated by while disregarding health?" he asked, The men's singles were stopped by the tocracy with the insolence of some of militarists is part of their "game of and continued, "A community can not rain with the score 7-5, 4-3 for Pacific. the Yankee's guests which furnishes war." In continuing that policy "we very well neglect its responsibility to In the afternoon the remainder of the real interest of the story. are putting the greatest money and the child. Be sure your own commu- the matches were played and the morn- the greatest effort where it is least nity accepts its responsibility." ing "hold-overs" finished. Fkank Cole Delia Hanville carried the leading needed," she said. "The first line of won two straight games to finish his part as Olivia Dangerfield, who mar- defense of the republic is the farmers match and even the count for the day querades as an Irish cook in her own and mothers." Anyway "we today are FLOATING "V" S T U D E N T S ARE to one all. Philip Gatch, after win- home and succeeds in making the the safest nation in the world," says GUESTS IN ROYAL PALACE ning the first set and holding a 3-0 kitchen the most interesting place in Secretary Hughes, "so far as we can advantage in the second set, lost to the house for the men of the house- see into the future the United States When the Floating University vis- Cook in a very exciting three-set watch. hold. This characterization was ex- is not in the slightest danger of ag- ited Bangkok recently the students Velda Livingston won her match in ceedingly well done; she not only made gression." lived in Phya Thai Palace as guests second women's singles, and, teamed a very intriguing Irish cook, but was "Discussion," the speaker empha- of King Rama VII of Siam, according with Winifred Woodward, won the thoroughly convincing in her few earn- sized, "would have prevented the war. to a cable just received at the home women's doubles. The men's doubles est moments in the play when she ex- Your generation must study interna- office of the Floating University, 11 went to Linfield in a very hotly con- pressed worry over the condition of tested match. With the score tied at tional relations." Discussion is work- Broadway, New York City. her father or displayed genuine feel- 3 all, the mixed doubles were played ing now in the World Court and League The Floating University students left ing for her northern employer. and won by the Wildcat team. Ben of Nations. New York City on November 8, aboard Marion DeVine as Burton Crane from the S. S. President Wilson and since Huntington and, Charles Beals repre- "Today, we have renounced war as the north, was master of this situation sailing they have visited 20 ports and I sented Pacific in men's doubles, and a policy between nations. We must particularly in the third act when he have made trips to many inland cities Philip Gaitch and Rachel Lundquist do with nations what we've already took the lead in ferreting out the mys- with historical and educational inter- in the mixed doubles. done in smaller groups"—secure prop- tery of the servants. He gave a very est. Scores were: First men's singles (7-5) pleasing characterization throughout er organization, she said. "The civic Upon their arrival in Bangkok the (6-3) for Pacific; second men's singles the play, rising to his best portrayal problem is to wipe out war so that it Floating University students were re- (4-5) (0-4) (6-4) for Linfield; men's dou- in the final scene with Olivia, which will be just as dead in another gener- ceived by King Rama in the Throne bles (6-3) (6-4) for Linfield; first wom- was done with genuine artistic finish. ation as slavery is now." Room. After the reception, the King en's singles (6-1) (7-5) for Linfield; sec- One of the most natural character- and his student guests attended a per- ond women's singles (6-0) (4-6) (6-3) for izations in the play was that of Ruby WILDCATS WIN PROM QUAKERS formance at the Royal Siamese Thea- Pacific; women's doubles (6-2) (6-2) for Brlsbine in the role of Elizabeth Dan- If rain could have come at the ap- tre. Later during their stay, the stu- Pacific; mixe ddoubles (6-2) (6-0) for gerfield. She delighted her audience propriate time of the seventh inning dents returned the King's courtesy by Linfield. again and again with her realistic dis- of the baseball game between Pacific presenting their musical comedy, play of aristocratic temper. College and Linfield College on the "Floating Around," for his pleasure. REED COLLEGE HURLERS Bob Bissett as Paul Dangerfield made Linfield diamond, Tuesday afternoon, The music and lyrics of this show are a handsome butler, and Lincoln Wirt April 23, it might have halted that entirely the work of the men and wom- TAKE HARD FOUGHT GAME romped happily through the play as game when the P. C. boys were en- en students. The King, who speaks Charles Dangerfield, the chore boy, English, seemed much pleased. joying a 5-2 lead. Old man Oregon The Quaker baseball team journeyed breaking dishes and getting in trouble didn't live true to form, however, and The students were allowed complete to Reed College Tuesday, April 30, and generally. when the score was counted after Lin- freedom during their stay and visited returned home with the short end of a The character of the old negro mam- field was finally put out in the last all points of interest In Bangkok and 3-1 score. The local team lacked that my, played by Ethel Newberry, was half of the eighth it was found to be the surrounding area. In parts, of final punch to put across sufficient made interesting not only by some very Bangkok canals serve as streets and 8-5, thus the game ended. runs to outscore the victors. Bill Sweet well executed lines but by a very ef- the students made a complete tour of pitched a very good game and received fective makeup. Dorothea Nordyke as The Quakers hit the ball almost at these. Mrs. Faulkner, and Doyle Green as will and threatened in practically ev- excellent support from the rest of the ery inning, several men dying on third The Royal Palace is situated near team to hold the Reed boys to a small Mr. Tucker were also very well made the Temple grounds wherein the fa- up and worked nicely in their parts. base. Outside of the third and eighth score. Innings the Wildcats were forced to mous Emerald Buddha stands. It is Noel Bowman as Randolph Weeks, claw hard to make any impression, guarded by the sacred gates of Wat FACULTY WOMEN ENTERTAINED Elinor Whipple as Cora Faulkner, and Phra Keo, which are almost never but when they got a good dig! How The Dormitory students enjoyed the William Coleman as the poet, all did they did scratch! thrown open to foreigners. commendable work. Noel Bowman's A feature of the students' visit at privilege of entertaining the faculty good stage voice was particularly ap- From a spectator's standpoint the the Palace was the fact that the mid- women Tuesday evening, April 23, 1929, preciated by the audience. game was good because it was packed year examinations were held there. at dinner. The guests were: Mrs. Hod- The play as a whole was highly suc- with thrills that kept the McMinnville The grandeur and strangeness of the gin, Miss Sutton, Miss McCracken, Miss cessful and much credit goes to Mrs. folks wondering if their participants surroundings did not distract the stu- Betts, Miss Myers, and Miss Johnson. ever would connect with that calm, Miss Verplank and Mr. Terrell acted (Continued on page two) easy-going "Quaker Bill." (Continued on page four) as hosts. TWO

SPRING FEVER As Defined by Our Faculty Watches Clocks Expert Watch and Pen Repairing THE CRESCENT It is difficult to imagine such a dig- nified person as President Pennington Published semi-monthly during the college year by the Stu- ever feeling "lazy and good-for-noth- ing," yet that is exactly the way he dent Body of Pacific College, Newberg, Oregon. described his feelings when interviewed F. E. Rollins on the subject and its effects upon him. Jewelry Waterman Pens V. / RALPH CHOATE MARION DE VINE Fishing attracts the president dur- ing an attack of this generally detested Editor-in-Chief Associate Editor and unwelcome spring disease. Wheth- er or not he was successful in catch- ing any fish was not revealed in this Alstot & Lucas CONTRIBUTING EDITORS interview. Golf is also one of his meth- Good Haircut Society Helen Whipple ods of warding off an oncoming at- Shoe Shine Chapel Margaret Jackson tack of the fever. According to Professor Lewis, spring 310 First Street Y. M. C. A Elmore Jackson fever is a passive disease, being mostly Y. W. C. A Elinor Whipple composed of an indisposition to work. He finds himself subject to the malady Sports Frank Cole most any warm sunny day, from the W. W. HOLLINGSWORTH & Features Philip Gatch last of March till the first of June. SON, Inc. Mr. Lewis has a hankering to do two Jokes Lincoln Wirt things during this season of the year: Academy Veldon Diment play golf, or go fishing. He denies that these are lazy men's games, but thinks Store of Quality Dormitory Genevieve Badley i that they require considerable effort and concentration. Trout fishing, he says, calls for lots of care if one fol- MANAGERIAL STAFF lows the three old rules given for ap- Business Manager Ralph Moore proaching a likely trout "hole:" keep out of sight, keep farther out of sight, Self Service Store Circulation Manager Damon McKibben and keep still farther out of sight. The professor thinks we all live Indoors CRITIC too much, especially when the flowers Serve Yourself and Save Professor R. W. Lewis begin to bloom, the birds to sing and the world to take on new life. Entered as second-class mail matter at Postoffice at Newberg, Ore. "Fishing trip or baseball games are the best cure for spring fever," says Terms: $1.00 the Year in Advance. Single Copy 10c. Coach Gulley. Although the coach Jones Sheet Metal says that spring fever is only laziness, he admits that has light touches of it Works PREPARATION when the sun shines warm in the spring. He insists, however, that they FURNACES, SHEET METAL. Life today is an interesting and intricate affair. Prepara- are very light touches. "Spring fever CONTRACTING tion for this great game must be as intensive and thorough as is an error of the mortal mind, and Phone Blue 12 408 First Street is the training for any important athletic contest. I believe that anyone is likely to have it at any time," says the coach. He adds, though, that in preparing one's self to really know how to meet life, the four in the winter most people are too lazy SEE years of a college life are the best ones of a lifetime. During to be affected. those years, if full use is made of all opportunities, one learns The coach claims that a good fish- SPAULDING'S how to live by actually living. I wonder if we strive to develop ing trip or a baseball game will bring for ourselves as much and as thoroughly as we should. him out of a bad case of spring fever Lumber and Building Material in no time and heartily recommends Isaac Watts described the perfect gentleman and gentle- Phone Green 26 woman of his day as follows: "Among all accomplishments of these remedies for fever sufferers. youth there is none preferable to a decent and agreeable be- havior among men, a modest freedom of speech, a soft and ele- A BILL TO ABOLISH HITCH-HIKING gant manner of address, a graceful and lovely deportment, a New York (By New Student Service). City Meat Market —Some joker in the New Hampshire cheerful gravity and good humor, with a mind appearing ever Legislature has proposed a license fee "The Home of Good Meats" serene under the ruffling accidents of human life." per person. According to newspaper Deliver 8 and 4 o'clock Is not that a good goal for the student of today? reports, another measure was also pro- Phone Red 66 posed that would require them to dis- HOMER G. MOORE play two headlights and a tail light latest. Writ in perfectly style and when traveling at night. FRESHMAN PLAY I S I most earliest. Do a murder commit, VOTED BIG S U C C E S S • we hear of and tell It. Do a mighty No cause for laughter is contained | chief die, we publish it in borders som in the pending Pennsylvania bill, how- (Continued from page one) I ber. Staff has each one been colleged ever. It follows the example of New Crede's Market and write like the Kipling and the Jersey in forbidding this most pleas- Quality and Service Wood whose assistance as coach show- I Dickens. We circle every town and ant and diverting foim of travel. ed up more than ordinarily well in the • extortionate not for advertisements." "When it becomes a crime," com- Count distinct enunciation of some of the plains The Dickinsonian, student news- Phone Blue 129 621 First Street The next was found in Dr. Dean's paper of Dickinson College, "for a characters whose backs had to be turn- column. It is a letter that he received ed toward the audience for a consider- clean cut, intelligent, honest college from an Oriental. boy to ask a passing motorist for the I -\ able portion of time, in the splendid "I am Wong. It is for my personal makeup of the whole cast, and par- means to get to his home and parents benefit that I write to you to ask for during a brief vacation period, then THE FAIR VARIETY STORE ticularly in the smoothly executed stage a position in your honorable firm. I business of the dinner scene in the it is time to question the discretion Everything in School Supplies have a flexible brain that will adapt of legislative bodies. third act. itself to your business and in conse- at prices you can well afford Interesting musical numbers, many quence bring good efforts to your hon- to investigate. of them consisting of southern melo- orable selves. My education was im- SHE GOT IT dies, were rendered between acts by WALLACE & SON pressed upon me in the Peking uni- They were walking through the grave- Elinor Whipple, Eldon Newberry, Mary versity in which I graduated number Sue Binford, and William Wood. yard, one. I can drive a typewriter with Reading inscriptions on the tombstones; The performance of a play is an an- great noise and my English is great. nual freshman activity at Pacific, the Some half effaced, which made it hard money being used to apply on the fresh- "My references are of the good and To tell who once had owned the bones. Meadowvale Dairy man gift to the college. A little over should you hope to see me they will "What kind of stone do you like, $100 was reported taken in on the sale be read by you with great pleasure. Beth?" of tickets for this year's performance. | My last job has left itself from me He asked of a maiden fair. | for the good reason that the man had Her answer took away his breath; Phone 20-Y I dead. It was on account of no fault She simply said: "A solitaire." ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE | of mine. So, honorable sir, what about —Ex. You may have trouble with your it? modern languages, but pity the poor "If I can be of use to you, I will guatre. "When I discovered that if foreigner trying to learn English! arrive on some date that you should I was quick I was fast, and that if I Groth Electric Co. The following paragraphs are exam- guess." was tied I was fast, if I spent too ples of our language "as she is spoke." The last is about the trials and trib- freely I was fast, and that not to eat Reliable Electricians The first is found In an Oriental news- ulations of a poor Frenchman. Mais was to fast, I was discouraged. But paper, which features an English col- Oui! when I came across the sentence, 'The All Work Guaranteed umn. "A Frenchman was relating his ex- first one won one one-dollar prize;' I 510 First Street Newberg, Oregon "The news of the English we tell the periences of studying the English lan- gave up trying to learn English." THREE THE ACADEMY MENTOR

Published Semi-monthly by the Students STUDENT BODY MEETS STATE AND COMMUNITY MORE OR LESS RELATIVE of Pacific Academy. The Academy Student Body was FORESTS INCREASE "As for this new discovery of Ein- P. A. CRESCENT STAFF called to meet on Thursday, May 2, stein's," said the Hatter, "suppose we 1929. The question of raising the mon- With 1,755,658 additional acres of postpone our discussion of it to yester- Editor-in-Chief Veldon J. Diment ey pledged to the hundred thousand forest land in the United States day?" Associate Editor. Carl V. Sandoz dollar banquet was brought up and brought under State administration in "Don't be absurd," said Alice. "You REPORTERS discussed at length. The graduating the last three years, the total area of can only postpone things to the future." Fourth Years Arloene Davey class of last year have raised the twen- State forests now stands at 6,555,735 The Hatter's smile was not unkindly. Third Years John Astleford ty-five dollars they pledged. As the acres, according to reports to the For- "Not if you were an electron trovel- Academy will be discontinued after est Service, United States Department ing backward through infinity with the Second Years Lois Sears this year and the present first and of Agriculture. First Years Wesley Kaufman speed of light, you wouldn't," he said. second year classes will get no imme- The greatest extension in State for- "You'd pretty soon see yesterday, and Athena Marian Coffee diate benefit from the money, it hardly C. E. R _ _..Erret Hummel est area during the three-year p?riod then the day before, and then p.etty seemed fair to require them to pay since the end of 1925, was reported by soon you'd be only a day old, and so their full share. It was finally decid- the State of Washington, which added foith." PRACTICE ed to reduce the amount left to raise 1,200,000 acres. Pennsylvania added "I wish you wouldn't try to be im- Oregon has several laws with to twenty-five dollars. 167,788 acres to its 1925 total, and Mich- pudent and vulgar," said Alice. "I am which to govern its people. One It was voted to set aside four dol- igan was a close third with an increase not an electron and I trust I have bet- lars to provide tennis balls for the of 167,000 acres. Three States—Dela- ter manners than to go moving back- of the most recent has proved Academy players. The meeting then ware, Georgia, and South Carolina— ward anywhere like a crab." a delight to Academy students. adjourned. which had no State forests three years "I shall explain the matter to you," The ruling requires that appli- ago, reported forest lands under State said the Hatter. "Do you know about GRADE SCHOOL DEFEATED administration at the beginning of this ' the fourth dimension?" cants for teaching positions year. "No," replied Alice. The first and second year boys de- "Don't you remember your gram- must have practical experience. feated the grade school in a baseball Oregon is now concluding a land ex- change with the U. S. Forest Service mar?" asked the Hatter. First dimen- Experience does not grow on game played Friday evening. The final son, I am; second dimension, thou art; score was 15 to 5. This team was de- whereby she will acquire a State for- shrubbery, so many, many Sen- est of some 70,000 acres in Coos and third dimension, he, she, it, is; fourth feated by the high school Wednesday dimension, nobody, always anywhere iors have wrestled with classes by a score of 17 to 11. Douglas counties, known as the Milli- in the Academy in an attempt coma tract. haidly ever shall have was. If I were Three years' growth in State park the Prussian Academy of Science I to gain an understanding of The Seven Ages of Woman areas added a net area of 67,834 acres couldn't have made it any plainer." typical problems. The students The infant. to the 1925 figure, bringing the total "I think you are talking nonsense. The girl. area of State paiks to 436.077. Munici- First person, second person, third per- have entered into the spirit of The Miss. pal and county forests and parks in- son, and that's all. Who ever heard the thing—heartily. The class- The young woman. creased in total area from 697,447 acres of a fourth person?" es have been both restful and The young woman. at the end of 1925 to 726,577 acres at The Dormouse looked up timidly. invigorating and many helpful The young wonian. the beginning of this year. "In the subway," he said, "I have The young woman. The aggregate area of forest land frequently seen as many as four per- ideas have been exchanged. We owned by States, municipalities and sons at one time." congratulate you on your ef- Prof. Wood: "Walter, who discovered counties in the United States on Jan- But Alice merely sniffed and turned forts, thank you for your help, America?" uary 1, 1929, including other forest her back. Taylor: "A gentleman named Ohio." land beside that in forests and parks, and mourn your departure. Ex- Mrs. W.: "You're crazy. It was Col- was 12,136,945 acies. Disgusted Lady: "Does your mother perience keeps a dear school, but umbus." know you smoke?" College Seniors must learn.—D. W. T.: "I know, but I didn't think ODE TO THE COL- Small Boy: "Does your husband know it was necessary to mention bin first j you speak to stiange men in the LEGE MAN'S CORDS i street?" STUDENTS CONSIDER name." ENTERING HIGH SCHOOL Hail to thee, blythe spirit! Symbol of Miss Verplank (in telegraph office): the free! Are you acquainted with the Mathei- matical fact that a problem is more apt On Tuesday, April 30, Mr. Blakes- "Now, be sure these three words are Pants that one may sit in without undenlined." pulling at the knee! to be right if you make an even num lee, principal of the high school, met ber of mistakes? with the first and second years of the Sign of emancipation of the mother Academy. The meeting was for the Sherk: "A man's wife is his better o'er the tub, purpose of arranging for Academy stu- half, isn't she?" Thou hast turned to knight of freedom, Mr. Terrell says that "Academy kids dents who will attend the high school Papa Sherk: "They are generally re- many a trouser pressing dub. shouldn't be too fresh with other peo- next year. Mr. Blakeslee put a list ferred to as such." Though your color never changeth from ple's property." This applies especially of the studies on the board and each Little S.: "Then, if a man marries its golden, nut brown hue, to Chrysler roadsters. prospective student signed up for five twice, there isn't anything left of him, And the "femmes" all say thay hate it, —four to be taken, the fifth to provide is there?" it's all wrong that we men do. Miss Johnson, commercial instiuctor, greater elasticity in the schedule. The So to thou who standest well alone, in was ill with a bad cold for over a week principal answered many questions and in the first part of the month. Her pu- Goldski (dictating a letter): "My dear the corner or by chair. explained that required studies should May the laundry never get you, be the pils are glad to see her back again. be taken fi st. Eighteen Academy stu- Mr. Shankelhausenheimer—" Commercial Graduate: "How do you weather foul or fair. dents signed up. —Rollo H. Rieder. History Prof.: "What do you know spell that name?" about the Mayflower compact?" The Jew: "S-c-h—Oh, py de vey, I NEW BOARDERS DISCOVERED Most any Co-ed: "Nothing. I use dink you petter pegin der letter 'My The young man had just driven home Djer Kiss." Some new boarders were found in the dear Sir,' undt save der vear and tear from college at the close of the term. girls' dormitory Monday, April 29. Ev- on de machine." "Did you pass everything?" anxiously idence of their presence was noticeable inquired his mother. for several days before they were dis- Gov. "Can't I give you a lift?" "Everything but two Buicks and a covered. Archie Yergen, Morris Silver, Lady at curb: "Are you going south?" Hudson. They must have had airplane Newberg Laundry and Alfred Kendall answered signals engines in 'em." of distress. The rescue workers took Gov.: "Sure!" off some boards on the- north side of Lady: "Then give my love to the Good Work—Good Service the building and found five skunks. Mexicans!" What is the difference between a Try Us The animals were taken home by the comma and a cat? boys and have since changed hands Link: "What did you do the mile in?" A comma is a pause at the end of about a dozen times. They have prov- Dick H.: "My track suit, of course." a clause, and a cat has her claws at ed themselves to be very delightful the end of her paws. pets. Speaking of plays, we read of a farce For the easiest shave and in two lines: They laughed at me when I spoke most up-to-date haircut— ATHENA SOCIAL His line. to the waiter in Italian, but he came Go To Her line. An Athena social was held on Wed- right back with some Scotch. nesday, April 24. Games were played Teacher: "What do you mean by say- James McGuire Most things go to the buyer but coal in the canyon and the party was ter- ing that Benedict Arnold was a jan- Opposite the Post Office minated by refreshments. All the itor?" coal goes to the cellar. members agree that Eloise Crozier and Student: "The book says that after Eva Kendall know how to make good his exile he spent the rest of his days Tennis has begun already on the Pa- punch. in abasement." cific court. We are glad to see this in- dication of spring. The Green Lantern Orlean St. Onge, a member of the There was a young man named Tweedle Sandwich Shop second year class, has been very ill Who refused to accept his degree, Dennis: "She doesn't sing well, does since spring vacation. It is not ex- Saying it was bad enough being Twee- she? What do you think of her ex- for pected that she will be back to school dle ecution?" HOT DINNER SANDWICHES this year. Without being Tweedle, D. D. Ralph: "I'm in favor of it." FOUR Purity Bakery QUAKER SPORTS We have a fine assortment of Cakes, Cookies, Pies, Rolls SCHOOL TEACHERS THE "DUMBER SEX" PICKED PARAGRAPHS Doughnuts, Etc. DEFEAT PACIFIC Masculine intelligence has been the 'Twas ever thus: "The children now Blue 7 subject of considerable feminine ridi- love luxury, they have bad manners, The Oregon Normal School teachers cule lately in conversation and in the contempt for authority, they show dis- defeated the Pacific College Quakers newspapers. Psychologists have taken respect for elders, and love chatter in in both games of a two game series. up the problem and have conducted place of exercise. Children are now The first game, played on the local many experiments, tests, and investiga- tyrants, not the servants of their house- Dr. I. R. Root diamond Friday, April 26, ended with tions into the scholastic ratings of col- holds. They no longer rise when el- DENTIST a score of 7-1. The score of the second lege men and women. The indications ders enter the room. They contradict Office Phone Black 243 game, played at Monmouth, Friday, appear to be that male students have their parents, chatter before company, Residence Phone Blue 83 May 3, was 10-2. A third game was a lower class rating than female stu- gobble up dainties at the table, cross Office over First National Bank attempted earlier in the season at Mon- dents. For example, the freshmen wom- their legs, and tyiannize over their mouth but was called off on account en at Minnesota showed an average teachers.''—Socrates. of lain after the second inning when of 99 per cent [!] last fall, while the — 1 - both teams had scored a couple of freshmen men averaged only 66 per Youth ends when the sons of class runs each. cent. An explanation is evidently mates start coming to college. One Baynard Motors The Monmouth team present a very forthcoming from the masculine ele- means to be bright and cordial, but interesting spectacle in physique. Some ment. receiving these young gentlemen is Oakland—Pontiac are huge, some are small, and neraly Among the male members of last quite as depressing as finding tucked Sales and Service all go to one extreme or the other. One year's freshman class who fell some- away in the attic an old belt that in Call Green 75 of these big boys, in the game at Pa- what short of the required proportion the days gone by used to go all the cific, hit the ball in President Penning- of honor points to credits, there were 'round.—Wesleyan University Alumnus ton's orchard across the street from about one hundred who spent every — 11- the athletic field. The ball went so afternoon during the fall quarter at the The benefit of a college education high and far that even this big fellow pleasant pastime of football, getting comes to light through the Chicagoan was able to trundle his massive frame trampled on daily in the hope that who executed a football tackle on a E. C. Baird around the bases before the ball was some day they might contribute to Min- holdup man and turned him over to General Merchandise returned, but even at that he might nesota's football renown. Finishing the police.—Pittsburg Post-Gazette. have been out if the last throw-in had practice at seven o'clock, they would -1- We appreciate your patronage been a little more accurate. He scored go home wearily, every limb aching, The minister president of an eastern Phone Red 37 another man ahead of him. and their heads ringing with a hun- college says his generation did every- Both of these games were full of dred bumps, to prepare their lessons thing that youth of today does but exciting moments in spite of the big for the next day's classes. But at half kept quiet about it—a somewhat tardy scores. Pacific College can well be past eight they would lift the telephone confession.—Columbia Missourian. proud of their baseball team, who are receiver to hear a sweet girlish voice, H pleading irresistibly: "O Jack, can you E. H. Ross giving all they have to win, and they The human brain is a wonderful or- are certainly proving to other schools come over for a little while? We're having a little party, a few hands of gan. It starts working the moment we The New York Life Man that Pacific College is located on the get up in the morning and doesn't stop map and that all opposition will have bridge and dancing and—oh, hurry right over." Jack usually went. until we get to class.—Unanimous. Fhone 27A4 to step to beat them. — II— In that same freshman class there Cows, like co-eds, are man's dumb TRACK MEET IS CALLED OFF were several hundred young men who friends.—Linfleld Review. A track meet was scheduled with spent their afternoons in stores, offices, Linfleld last week to be run off on and elsewhere earning a living or a lit- — 1 — J. L. VAN BLARICOM & CO. the P. C. field. Linfleld called it off tle spare cash to spend in entertaining He who laughs last probably intends the day before, which, according to some lonely little coed. Other young to remember the story so that he may Is the Place of comparative scores, was a good thing men played basket ball, hockey, base- repeat it. Good Eats at Right Prices for Linfleld, because Albany ran off ball, and participated In any one of — li- with the Linfleld-Albany track meet to the many sports open to energetic and lt's a good thing to begin at the bot- Phone Green 114 win by a difference of 38 points, while active students. Campus publications tom of everything—except in learning the Pirate-Pacific meet showed a dif- also recruit their staffs largely from to swim. ference of only 19 points. Watch the the masculine element of the student — li- Pacific tracksters set the pace next population. lt's a good thing hens don't know DR. JOHN S. RANKIN week-end. how much men get paid for 'laying The pretty little girl who is seen bricks. Physician and Surgeon everywhere hanging on the arm of the TWO ATHLETIC MEETS handsome young freshman football star — 1 — Office Phone Black 171 TO TAKE PLACE SOON has just two things to worry about: Where there's a will there is gen- erally more or less dissatisfaction Residence Phone Green 171 the first, how she is to get by in her Office over U. S. National Bank Pacific College athletics for the next courses; the second, how she is to keep among the relatives. two weeks includes two conference the young man eager to entertain her. TABLOID BOOK REVIEWING meets. The conference track meet will As for the first, she has all the after- be staged next week-end and the con- noon to study while Jack is at prac- Snappy Comment on Standard Classics COLLEGE PHARMACY tice. . . . Dictionary (Funk and Wagnals)—A ference tennis tournament the follow- 900 First Street ing week. Many other tentative dates The same girl who worships the tall bit plotless, but splendid vocabulary. have been arranged for tennis matches. football hero with his plastered nose, Nursery Rhymes (Mother Goose)— School Supplies, Soft Drinks Alatches to be played on the local court and admires a young man because he Clever characterization. Plenty of ac- and Confectionery will include a men's team from Salem is active in everything about the cam- tion. PHOTO SUPPLIES next Friday and a match with Pacific pus, remarks about the "dumber sex," Telephone Book (Bell)—Characters Developing and Printing University the following Tuesday. Oth- and laughs because half the men in her tend to obscure the action. Setting is er tentative dates are being arranged classes can't seem to get their lessons. local. with Reed, Monmouth and Linfleld. —The Minnesota Daily. Congressional Record (U. S. Legisla- tors)—Speeches too long. Much super- fluous verbiage. Newberg Bakery P. C. STUDENTS CLIMB TOO MUCH DOING 404 First Street—Phone Green 24 CHEHALEM MOUNTAIN It is most embarrassing to go into the outside world and return an un- FLOATING "U" S T U D E N T S A R E Best of Bread Finest Cakes The full moon called a group of stu- broken line of polite negatives to every GUESTS IN ROYAL PALACE dents to the enjoyment thereof Friday question of "Have you read this?" Pies like Mother used to make evening, April 26. These people hiked "Have you seen that play?" "Have you (Continued irom page one) to the top of Chehalem Mountain: Ra- heard such and such and such a bit chel Lundquist, Helen Whipple, Elinor of music?" It rather makes you won- dents in their efforts to make good Whipple, Generva Street, Marian Cof- der what you are in college for, when grades, according to Dr. Edward A. fee, Miss Verplank, Ben Huntington, the conversation of the average well- Ross, Director of Education. Kienle & Sons and Mr. Terrell. informed person shoves you to the side At the conclusion of their nine days lines in the first minute of play. . . . visit, King Rama again addressed the Pianos, Radiolas, Victrolas DORM PETS FOUND I have two books on my desk that students in the Throne Room. He Everything in Music The dormitory unconsciously acquir- I want to read. A magazine arrives complimented them on their industry ed a new pastime—perhaps it wasn't weekly crammed with interesting stuff and studious behavior and called them NEWBERG, OREGON so unconscious either. Anyway, after —if I am lucky I may finish the Octo- splendid ambassadors in the cause of innumerable scratchings, squeakings, ber copy before the holidays. Hardly international Good Will. etc., Prof. Macy removed a board from a clay passes but that I hear of some- the side of the building and uncovered thing interesting to read. There was busiest persons here. I am just one School Supplies a family of civet cats. We're all very an unusual play in. Pasadena that ran of the nearly average huriiers. . . . much delighted with the addition to for several weeks. Did I see it? Nay, I forgot to mention the coeds. Partly Fountain Pens our family. I had to write papers and study for intentional, because I don't know Skrip Ink quizzes and pound out newspaper stuff whether to class 'em as an outside ac- "I'm out of bounds," said the rabbit and work on the yearbook and play tivity or a required subject.—The Stu- Boyd's Book Store as the hunter shot his legs off. basket ball. And I am not one of the dent Life, Claremont Colleges. FIVE

RICHNESS OF SPIRIT IT'S A FACT FUNSHINE AND MIRTH "O'er his keys the musing organist, Roosevelt, Taft, Cleveland, Wilson 1Beginnin g doubtfully and far away, and Harding were the only presidents Economy Cleaners First let his fingers wander as they list, to go beyond the boundaries of the Marian Coffee (calling the men's And builds a bridge from Dreamland United States. dorm): "Hello, may I ask who this is?" for his lay. and Dyers Governor Terrell: "Sure! Go ahead Germany now makes false teeth of 503 First St. and ask." Then, as the touch of his loved instru- ment steel. Gives hope and fervor, nearer draws Social Worker: "And what is your his theme, The average person inhales about name, my good man?" 2,600 gallons of air per day. Dame McKibben: "999." First guessed by faint auroral flushes sent A hair's breadth is one-forty-eighth S. W.: "Oh, but that's not your real Along the wavering vista of his dream." Clarence Butt name." of an inch. Dame: "Naw, that's only me pen The great concert was over. Some Attorney name." were disappointed; were sorry that they In gathering a pound of honey, a Office Second Floor Union Block had spent their money for this enter- bee travels 43,776 miles. Landlady: "I think you had better tainment. His technique wasn't per- board elsewhere." fect but his expression caused wonder. A fly wiggles its wings 330 times in Some knew the pieces by heart and a second. Smitty': "Yes, I often had." their minds weren't open to the mes- Save with Safety at Landlady: "Often had what?" sage so skillfully portrayed. The eyes Smitty: "Had better board elsewhere." Canada produces eighty-eight per of these listeners were hard and their cent of the world's asbestos. lips were firm. Their applause was The Rexall Store Dick: "Does this hang pen leak all perfunctory, their remarks well-bred. LYNN B. FERGUSON the time?" Sixty-four million people live within The great artist eyed the audience wist- a radius of five hundred miles of Pitts- Prescription Druggist Dame: "No, Dick, only when it has fully. Could it be that he had failed— Phone Black 106 ink in it." that he had bared his heart in vain? burg, Pa. Were there • no understanding hearts? Benny H.: "I'm going to marry a And then the master's eyes took on Chicago has a larger population than pretty girl and a good cook." a look of appreciation, for there be- Wisconsin. Watches Jewelry Clocks Frank Cole: "You can't, that's big- fore him were kindred souls. Their amy." eyes were ashine, their lips parted, There are 1,536 churches in New E.G.REID their eyelashes wet—they had seen a York. Watch and Clock Repairing For Boys Only— vision. The artist smiled understand- Checkers were played in 1600 B. C. Conklin Pens and Pencils ipipu,; j«on ij SIJ[ v qa Monipu.i Aon ing^. 8 402 First Street Newberg, Oregon '.;•) .loep Monjp /ton 5JU3AY JVV One person on seeing the Grand Can- There are 23,000 stones in the Wash- yon bows his head and reverently re- ington monument. Dill Wood: "Don't count your chick- moves his hat, gripped in an emotion ens before they're hatched." so overwhelming that he cannot speak; The petrified forest in Arizona con- "Guv." Terrell: "Do not enumerate another murmurs, "Oh! Isn't it cute?" tains 25,625 acres. A. C. Smith the juvenile fowl before the process of One person thinks of home as a hole incubation is thoroughly materialized." where he can hang his hat and grab There are about six thousand kinds Dealer in Leather Goods a bite to eat; another thinks of home of grass in the world. Auto Tops a Specialty "Another good turn done," yapped as a haven of refuge where the world the pretzel bender as he finished his is shut out. Only seven people out of a million 703 First Street masterpiece. Are there sermons in trees and po- are ever struck by lightning. etry in brooks for you? Wouldn't you E. Gettmann (at a circus): "Wonder- rather fill your mind and heart full BELIEVE IT OR NOT! of beautiful pictures than to eat? ful! What tricks that pig can do! I Great aches from little toe-corns grow. couldn't do 'em." Wouldn't you? You laugh and say, "You're a dreamer, an idealist. These Ed Real's Shoe Shop Prexy Huntington: "But, you haven't "I can hardly stand to do this," said been trained." things are only a part of your imagina- Quality and Service tion. Do trees have souls, is that pic- the college man as he looked through the keyhole. Patronage Appreciated Stan Kendall: "Know my brother, Or- ture alive, does a sunset nourish you? la? He sure is smart. Been clear I cannot see the things you see." And the one who is rich in spirit smilingly Man may have sprung from a mon- through the reform school and he's only key, but It Is an unquestioned fact that sixteen. answers, "Don't you wish you could?" —La Vina Buirgy, Linfield College. woman springs from a mouse. 721 First St. Phone Black 33

Ever hear of the fellow called Sloan, COLUMBIA'S PERPETUAL Who thought he'd leap over a stone? JOURNALIZING SHAKESPEARE STUDENT DIES Chas. C. Collard Well, he landed kerplunk Shakespeare has been "revived" and On the back of a skunk; SHEET METAL WORKS modernized. In fact, Hamlet has ap- New York, N. Y. (By New Student Now he talks to his friends on the peared behind the footlights clad in Pipe and Pipeless Furnaces phone. Service.)—William Cullen Bryant Kemp, knickers of the plus-four variety. To "perpetual .student" at Columbia Uni- this trend of adaptations, Dr. Franklin, versity, is dead. At the age of seventy- Guv. Terrell (in comp class): "All associate professor of English at Bos- eight this learner who spent over twen- BERRIAN SERVICE dumbells please stand up." ton University, has added another. ty years at the feet of the professors Guv. Terrell: "Do you consider your- Dr. Franklin was recently interested becomes an alumnus of a world that STATION self a suitable dumbell?" to learn that thirty-five students in his was, for him, mainly a campus. After Greasing, Free Crankcase Service Bill: "Well, not exactly, but I hate Shakespeare class were seeking jour- his freshman year, 1868, there was an Exide Batteries, Battery Repairing to see you standing all alone." nalism degrees at the college. He stud- Interlude in his education during which Car Washing ! ied his class list, and then, in the man- he acceded to his father's wishes and Corner First and Edwards Streets "Waw-waw-waw-waw," howled the fu- ner of a city editor, distributed assign- went into business, but on his father's NEWBERG, ORE. ture shortstop from his cradle. | ments to his staff. . . . death he returned to his beloved stud- "Four bawls and you walk!" yelled He declared: "Shakespeare lives on ies. He reaped the degrees of LL. B., the female umpire to her husband, as for one reason- -because he crowded B. A., M. A., LL. M. and B. S. If he * she kicked him out of bed. such an abundance of human-interest had taken the trouble to write a thesis, COOLEY'S DRUG STORE material into his plays. Study the he might have added a Ph. D. to this Shocked Old Lady: "My goodness, if • newspapers, and see what they fea- list. His last registration was for the A complete line of Drugs and those are running trunks I'd certainly ' ture. You will notice that subjects winter session of 1922, and but for Drug Sundries, Books hate to see those trackmen in suit- "unpleasant newspaper notoriety" he involving death and tragedy are prom- and Stationery cases!" ' inently dispiayed. Then there are ac- would have registered for the spring tion stories—stories of fights, of sports, session of that year. "This is sure one hot time," said the ' and of adventure. I hold that in Ham- Of course the newspapers continually witch as she burned at the stake. let you will find human-interest stories plagued him, and set all sorts of stories covering all these newspaper requis- afloat concerning the reasons for his Guv. Terrell (at the dorm): "Dick, ; ites." perpetual study. One was to the effect will you serve the chicken tonight?" Here are some of the assignments that he would be provided with an Dick Maworth: "Sure, what'll she which City Editor Franklin distributed: income of $2,500 each year that he have?" "There are rumors of a war with registered. It Is very likely, as Col- Norway. Get an exclusive story." C. A. MORRIS umbia Alumni News observes, that the OPTICIAN-JEWELER Gee: "I know a girl that plays the "Prince Hamlet is reported mad. secret died with him. piano by ear." There's a good story here." Whiz: "That's nothing; I know an "Here is a story for our society-page Mrs. Wood, in Chem. I: "Now add old man who fiddles witli his whiskers." readers. Hamlet and Ophelia, betroth- sodium carbonate and ignite." ed lovers, are reported to be estranged. Wee Willie: "I've added the sodium Dr. Thos. W.Hester Elderly Lady: "I want to see the Love stories are always interesting, carbonate but I can't find the ignite." proprietor. Is the gentleman in?" and where the persons concerned are Physician and Surgeon Burton Frost: "Yes, I'm in." of the nobility, their interest Is tre- ing Shakespeare to give journalism stu- Lady: "Are you the proprietor?" mendous." dents a new angle from which to ap- Office In Dixon Building Frost: "No, I'm the gentleman; the Professor Franklin explains that he proach their study of the classics.— Newberg Oregon proprietor is In the back room. is employing his novel method of study- Boston University News. SIX

LEARN THE PIANO Nowadays if a man falls by the way- CHAPEL TALKS Y. M. C. A. side, the chances are he was a pedes- IN TEN LESSONS trian.

April 25 April 24 TENOR-BANJO OR A delightful musical program was "Opportunity" was the subject of a MANDOLIN IN FIVE THE YAMHILL ELECTRIC CO. given at the student chapel period fol- message delivered to the Y. M. C. A. lowing a devotional period led by Es- April 24, by Rev. Young, local pastor LESSONS Gives an Electric Service of re- ther Gulley, and a short student body of the Christian church. Mr. Young liability and courteous attention meeting. The following numbers were spoke of the four classes of people Without nerve-racking, heart-break- to its customers' requirements. given: with respect to opportunities. ing scales and exercises. You are Piano trio, (a) Soldiers Chorus Faust "First," he said, "are those who mur- taught to play by note in regular pro- YAMHILL ELECTRIC CO. (b) Love's Old Sweet Song der their opportunities. Second, those fessional chord style. In your very Rachel Lundquist, Helen and who miss their opportunities, and, first lesson you will be able to play a Elinor Whipple figuratively speaking, open the door popular number by note. Violin solo, "Angel's Serenade too late." SEND FOR IT ON APPROVAL SANITARY BARBER SHOP Elden Newberry Those who grasp their opportunities The "Hallmark Self-Instructor," is 705% First St., Newberg, Ore. Vocal solo, "Danny Boy" Weatherly Compose the third class. "It is fine to the title of this method. Eight years For Men, Ladies and Children Bill Wood be a member of the third class," said were required to perfect this great Band selection, "Girl of My Dreams Mr. Young, "but how much more we work. The entire course with the Ladies' Haircutting a Specialty Pep Band admire one of the fourth class, one necessary examination sheets, Is bound First class service and a clean place, April 29 who turns defeat into opportunity, lit- in one volume. The first lesson is un- my motto. R. N. HYMER, Prop. "What "will be the size and character erally creating the opportunity." sealed which the student may examine of Pacific College next year?" This May 1 and be his own "JUDGE and JURY." was the problem presented to the stu- Rev. Fenwick, evangelist at the local The later part of the "Hallmark Self- dents by President Pennington. The Free Methodist church, gave an inspir- Instructor," is sealed. DRS. WORLEY & HOWE future college depends to a large ex- ing address before the Y. M. C. A. on Upon the student returning any copy Electric Treatments, Massage tent on the responsibility which the the subject of "The Rich Young Ruler." of the "Hallmark Self-Instructor" with Steam Baths present student body feels for Its suc- He began by telling the story of the the seal un-broken, we will* refund in cess. Now is a critical period. The young man and how he was in his full all money paid. 110 North School Street students Individually and as a whole own estimation morally sound. "But," This amazing Self-Instructor will be Phone Black 40 Newberg, Ore. have considerable power to determine said Rev. Fenwick, "he had broken sent anywhere. You do not need to the Pacific College of 1920-30. three of the commandments already. send any money. When you receive April 30 First, money was his God. Second, this new method of teaching music, he did not love God. Third, he was deposit witli the postman the sum of INVESTIGATE "It is not a half bad thing to check covetous of his neighbor's goods." up on yourself occasionally to see what ten dollars. If you are not entirely Rev. Fenwick closed with an im- satisfied, the money paid will be return- The New York Life progress, if any, you are making," pressive story of how a violin's beauty President Pennington said in speaking ed in full, upon written request. The could only be brought out by the touch Publishers are anxious to place this POLICY on the subject, "Self Inventory." "But of a master. This he applied to our perhaps we can reach a reasonably "Self-Instructor" in the hands of music It pays if you live. lives, saying, "It is only through the lovers all over the country, and is In accurate judgment in regard to our touch of the master that the best that It pays if you die. position this year as compared with a position to make an attractive prop- is in us can be brought out. osition to agents. Send for your copy It pays if you become disabled. that of last year, even in such delicate It loans you money if you need matters as those of character and per- today. Address The "Hallmark Self- sonal development," he suggested, and Instructor" Station G, Post Office Box it badly. urged that each student practice intro- Y. W. C. A. 111, New York, N. Y. spection to determine his own progress in character building. Get your Gym Equipment at E. H. ROSS May 2 April 24 Phone 27A4—Box 302 The Y. W. committee meetings of i Parker Hardware Co. Stanley Kendall led the devotional I t h e new committees were held on April | period, which was followed by a short student body meeting. Philip Gatch | 24, after a short devotlorj.) period. sang, "Oh Sweet Mystery of Life" and Special music was given by Irene "The Desert Song." The remainder of Brown and Arloene Davey. DENTISTRY the program was given by the Fresh- May 1 Ralph W. Van Valin X-Ray Diagnosis man class which presented several On account of the absence of the short skits from their play, "Come Out speaker, each student took part in the OVER U. S. BANK GAS ADMINISTERED of the Kitchen." Y. W. meeting on May 1. The time was spent in singing and discussion. May 3 "Pacific When I Went Here" was the theme of a very entertaining talk IF WE KNEW given by Prof. Macy. Many an aching heart is hiding Mr. Macy described the old College 'Neath a laughing, smiling face; building as it was some years ago and Which a word from you might gladden UNITED STATES NATIONAL BANK pointed out some of the differences And its sorrow from it chase; Capital, Surplus and Profits $150,000.00 between the curriculums, literary ac- But, instead, tears hot and scalding Accounts of students, faculty and friends of Pacific College Invited tivities, athletics and school customs To the suff'rers' eyes you drew of school at that time and today. He By rebukes, kindly Intended, INTEREST PAID ON SAVINGS ESTABLISHED 1889 illustrated his comparisons with nu- Just because you never knew. merous interesting incidents, some quite exciting, of his student life here. If we knew, the fearful heartache Hidden 'neath a smiling face. Ervin Diment— If in tones of joy and laughter GRAHAM'S DRUG STORE I have a car. Notes of sadness we could trace; It never breaks down, If we knew that life's bright flowers. Phone Green 113 It never skids, To the other's eyes were few; It never gets a puncture. Would we be so quick to censure, DAILY DEVELOPING KODAK SERVICE It never gives me bother up steep If the life we really knew? grades, —Fred H. Mendell. It never gets overheated. It has never got me into a collision Taylor (beginning one of his "tall" of any kind, stories): "They were both deadly white I wish to goodness I could start it. as they huddled there together under FIRST NATIONAL BANK the tree. For hours they— Esther (interrupting): "Is this a nice NEWBERG, OREGON RECENT GRAMMAR story?" Keep your reserve funds with us A girl knows this is the way to parse Walt: "Sure, they were a couple of kiss: snowballs. Interest paid on savings accounts Kiss is a noun, though generally used as a conjunction. It is never declined. Student: "What do you think? The It is more common than proper. It police raided the library this afternoon!" is not singular, is generally used In Ditto: "Raided the library? Why?" VANITY FAIR YOUNG MEN'S SUITS the plural number, and it agrees with Student: "They found moonshine in me. the dictionary." Hand tailored, imported style, with tattersall vest, full balloon pants. This is the niftiest in suits. Marian: "Why doesn't your cow have Sir Galahad: "Thou art the sunshine horns?" of my soul. Thou drivest away the Carl: "Well, you see, some cows don't murky clouds of despair. Thou wilt have horns, and sometimes we cut the always reign in my heart. My love for horns off, but the main reason she does- thee will never grow cold. Wilt thou—" Miller Mercantile Co. n't have horns is because she isn't a Esmeralda: "Say, what is this, a pro- cow—she's a horse." posal or a weather report?" Newberg, Oregon