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Elegant Newsletter The Newsletter for Clungunford Volume 20 • Issue 4 THE GUNNAS GAZETTE March 2017 Big Cats of Kenya A spectacular film from our very own Geoffrey Rollason, filmed during his recent safari to East Africa Watch a dramatic cheetah chase and kill, see playful lion cubs, exciting leopards, elephants and many other wonderful wildlife filmed in the Masai Mara Conservancies and at Laikipa in Northern Kenya. 7.30 pm, Saturday, March 11th, 2017 Clungunford Parish Hall Adults £5, Children Free, light refreshments included. The Bar will also be open. Proceeds from the event to be split between the Parish Hall and St Cuthbert’s 1 Flicks in the Sticks at Clungunford The Parish Council Parish Hall The village website is now up and running for purposes of basic dissemination of information. Max Maxwell has kindly taken on administration of the site and Friday 24 March 2017 at 8pm development will take place over the next few months. The Light Between Oceans (cert 12A) Drama You can visit the site at www.clungunford.com and you This breath-taking story is set to remind us all of the can see the latest Parish Council minutes, agendas etc as infinite power of love, the overwhelming fear of loss well as recent editions of The Gunnas Gazette. Further and the complexities of human nature that bind the two. space will be allocated to the village institutions, the When lighthouse keeper Tom Sherbourne (Michael Church, the Charities, the Club etc, and the aim is to Fassbender) and his adored wife Isabel (Alicia Vikander) make this the “GO-TO” place for information. The off- discover a baby adrift in a boat off the remote coast off the-peg hosting package we are using is not the most western Australia, they must make a choice. When they user friendly of soft-ware, and it may well be that decide to raise the child as their own, the shattering changes will have to be made in the background in the consequences of this choice will change their lives future, but for the time being at least we have a forever. functional website. Any offers of help in development Starring: Michael Fassbender, Alicia Vikander, of material will always be appreciated. Rachel Weisz You probably do not know it, but there will be elections Director: Dian Cienfrance on 4 May, not only for the unitary authority but also for the Parish Council. Nomination papers are not yet ********** available, but if you think you would like to stand for the Parish Council and can add to what we do, why not Friday 21 April 2017 at 8pm go for it? We have a full complement of members at A United Kingdom (cert 12A) Drama present – one of the few parish councils in the area to The film is based on a true story. Seretse Khama (David be so blessed – and so any additional interest would Oyelowo) is the Prince of Bechuanaland (now probably necessitate an election as, so far as I know, all Botswana). In 1948 he meets and falls in love with current Parish Councillors are willing to continue. London office worker Ruth Williams (Rosamund Pike). If you are interested or if you want to know what the But their interracial relationship is not approved of by Parish Council does, do please feel free to have a word either of their families, nor by the British and South with me. Nomination procedures will be published on African governments. Seretse and Ruth must defy the Shropshire Council website shortly: go to elections family, apartheid and the British Empire to return from and democracy on the home page menu. an imposed exile to their African kingdom, and assume No news at the time of writing on the Hopton Heath power after independence. poultry units planning appeal. My sympathies go out to Starring: David Oyelowo, Rosamund Pike. the lady inspector, who truly is operating somewhere Director: Amma Asante Drama between a rock and a hard place! It is interesting to see that the same battle lines are being drawn up over the ********* much smaller development proposed at The Hurst at Entrance £4.00 Adults £2.00 Children Clunton. ********* ***** Tel: 01588 660727 (Ann) or 01588 660781 The next Parish Council meeting is due to take place at (Maureen) ([email protected]) for 8 pm on Wednesday 8 March in the Parish Hall. enquiries and reservations Everyone is welcome to attend. Parish matters before (or after) the meeting may be raised either with me or And it goes without saying that you will be able with our clerk, Brian Taylor (01588 660653: to enjoy with each film …… Licensed Bar…Ice [email protected]). Jonathan Roberts, Chairman creams… Raffle (donations welcome)… Good car (01588 660673: [email protected]) parking…. and, above all, Excellent Company We now show all our films with subtitles Nursing Notes…… We are in the process of compiling an email list for Some mistakes the doctors have made when writing on the anyone who would like to receive an email reminder patients’ notes:- each month of information on our forthcoming films including links to trailers and reviews. The patient has been depressed ever since she began If you would like to go on the list, please email: seeing me in 1983. [email protected] with your The patient refused an autopsy. details. The patient has no history of suicides. The patient is numb from her toes down. 2 The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent PLEASE NOTE THAT THE ANNUAL headaches. GENERAL MEETING FOR THE CLUB WILL Examination of the genitalia reveals that patient is circus- BE HELD AT 19.30 ON 3 MAY 2017 sized. Infection started after she pimped a few popples. Welcome to Clun Valley Jazz Bleeding began in the rectal area and continued all the way to Las Vegas. Jazz “in the quietest place under the sun" Apparently the mother resented the fact that she was born in her forties. By the time he was admitted his rapid heart had stopped However “It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got and he was feeling better. that swing” as the famous line from Duke Social history reveals this one-year-old patient does not Ellington in 1930 and more recently sang by Lady smoke or drink and is presently unemployed. Gaga! Patient is to remain plastered for the next six to eight weeks. Live Jazz music today is thriving from the Trio, Fracture of the proximal phalanx of the right fourth toe on Quartet to Big Bands. The committee is about the right fifth foot. to embark on a new venture at our social club, a After her last child she had her tubs tied. Live Jazz evening. Initially this will take place Following examination of her breasts we discussed her every two months starting in June this year. By impending nasal surgery. inviting some of the best up-and-coming Jazz Patient is nonverbal, noncommunicative, and offers no players around we can all share in a unique complaints. musical experience together. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. Patient complains of chronic vaginal affection. Pleasant man lying comfortably in bed. Appears somewhat Good music doesn’t have an expiry date and uncomfortable. Jazz is a universal pleasure, so please join us on Patient is following a diabetic diet and counting cards. our inaugural event and enjoy. IF you know local The patient's skin was somewhat pale but present. Jazzers, play or simply love Jazz and might want Stool remains quite spry and active. to help out please get in touch. Full details to Arm is fractured but not broken. follow soon . John Davies on 01547 530100 or at Patient is alive but hope to remedy situation by morning. [email protected] and Mathew Trustman History of fireballs in the uterus. on 01588660129 or mob 07766023534 or at Sister B [email protected] In The Garden News from the Sports and Social Club A cold and frosty day in Clungunford. Too cold and As you may have read from the previous Gunnas frosty to be doing anything much outside today, even if Gazette, I am now the Membership Secretary for the I hadn’t succumbed to the village bug a few days ago. Clungunford Sports and Social Club. Many of the When I was a boy gardener working for a variety of members have paid the exceptionally good value sum London Boroughs over the years, and wasn’t suffering of £10.00 to renew for 2017. from a village bug, winter was when you abandoned the I still have many members on the list that have not parks to carry out work on the trees in the local streets. renewed. I am therefore asking those people to contact Nowadays I tend to get the logs I burn to keep the me and I will arrange to collect the money and issue a house warm in winter already cut to size and barn dried, 2017 membership card. I can be contacted by phone so they burn well. on 01588 600152 or at [email protected]. When I was working for local authorities, and burning Failure to pay by the 2017 Annual General Meeting on the logs I gathered during the course of my work to 3 May will result in details being removed from the make the coal last longer, what I burned was dictated by membership list what trees were growing in the streets there and none of If you are new to Clungunford or wish to become a the authorities I worked for at the time had ever planted member for the first time then contact me and I will be Ash or Beech, generally considered to be the trees happy to explain more about the club to you.
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