Sowing Seeds for the Future

In my younger years I was regularly stuck in what I call “The intersection of could, maybe, ought, might.” And even when, over the years, I’ve had the wherewithal to propel myself forward, I’ve been known for starting big things without the adequate follow-through Much of what I’ve accomplished has been possible only because I had a strong operations person right there beside me to slow me down, make me focus on what was actually feasible, create a timeline, and gure out how we were going to pay for it! Having been self-employed now for close to eight years, my main ops person is my beloved Dan. But I also contract with a number of awesome folk who help me get stuff done, such as Clarice Cho, who designs these newsletters and is my social media manager (thanks, Clarice!). I’ve learned that if I want my big dreams to manifest themselves, I rst need to write them down. The plan for a Freshman Dean’s Ofce at Stanford began on a piece of paper back in 2002. In 2014 I wrote what I wanted to achieve with my parenting book on a napkin and shared it with my then-research assistant Amanda Wilson Bergado. Lately I’ve sketched out my dreams in my bullet journal. It works. It helps me dream wildly while also staying grounded. If I’m willing to write it down, I’m willing to do the effort to make it BE. Of course I fail a lot. In 2018 my three work-related goals were 1) Real American would be a NYT bestseller; 2) Oprah would discover it; and 3) I would strengthen my relationship with my mom. I’m happy to say that only the most important of these goals was achieved. (You read my newsletter, so you know precisely which one I mean).

It’s crazy to me that even in this period of shut-down, a number of the ideas that live on my “Major Goals for 2020” list are showing signs that they could possibly germinate. (One, I dare say, is even taking root.) I’ll admit it would have been more manageable had these various things not emerged all at once, but so it is. I am grateful for work that may lead to more work which may lead to who knows what one day.

1. A Podcast

Every time I give a talk about Real American, someone lingers toward the back of the book signing line, and when they get to me, they have tears in their eyes and they say that something I shared about my life experience broke them open to a story in their own life that they’d long ago buried. Over the many years of this happening it’s become clear to me that my catharsis appears to be a catalyst for catharsis in others. I wondered, could there be more to this? Can I scale this up into a massive effort of healing?

I came up with the idea for a podcast called BROKE WIDE OPEN, where I’ll hold space for a guest to open up about being Black in America. While the news can tell you what happens to Black folk, it can’t tell you what racism and microaggressions feel like. That’s the aim of BROKE WIDE OPEN. I’m hoping it’ll help Black listeners feel seen and heal a bit. I’m hoping it’ll inspire non-Black listeners to ask themselves What can I do to make my community kinder and safer for Black people?

As of this writing, we’ve done four interviews and we’re pulling together a trailer that will demonstrate what the podcast could possibly be. Would love your thoughts as to whether this is something you’d listen to! And this is our rst attempt at a logo. What do you think? What does it “say” to you?

2. A Movie

I’ve been wanting to tell you about this one for a long time, and it’s still too soon to say anything—there is NO movie deal yet—but it’s nally much more than a pipe dream so here goes. In early March I went to LA for what would turn out to be my last plane ride for a long time. I went with two screenwriters—Lee, a dear friend (below right), and Jenelle, a dear friend of Lee’s (below left)—who have adapted How to Raise an Adult into a feature-length lm about a Black female dean who sees overparenting by day and commits it by night. We met with industry execs, and there was some real interest. While Coronavirus has slowed everything down, I have hope! And yes, secretly I am wondering Who’s gonna play me???? 3. A Gig on TV

When I was a young girl living in the greater Washington D.C. area, I was part of a cable television show by kids, for kids, called “It’s a Small World.” I was one of the anchors, which meant I got to do a lot of front-of-the-camera work as well as interviews. I even got to do some really cool stuff “on location” like going for a ride in the Goodyear Blimp, and interviewing Barbara Bush (who was married to the Vice President at the time). I loved it. I had access to what was happening “in the now” and I got to be thoughtful about how to share those things with others. Inside of me, I began to dream that maybe I’d be a broadcast journalist like Barbara Walters one day. So when I went to college I enrolled in Communications 1 right off the bat, but I struggled to get through the reading and I was too ashamed to ask for help. I ended up getting a D in that class. And thus, my dreams of becoming a broadcast journalist were shattered.

Decades later I’ve restored my sense that communication is a good eld for me and am delighted when my work brings me television and radio opportunities. If you remember back a year, the college admission scandal had just raised its ugly head and various media outlets were tapping me to share my opinions. It was a whirlwind few days with extremely early morning interviews (CNN showed up at 3:30am to interview me one day). Each time I was nervous as hell, rehearsing the four or ve points I wanted to be sure to articulate, knowing time ies on live TV. When I went out to NY to do the CBS This Morning show, they brought all four anchors to the table to lob me with questions and it felt like a snowball ght. But whatever I managed to say back to them caught their attention and led to a conversation, which led to another conversation, which led to a contract. And as of January 2020 I’m ofcially a CBS This Morning “contributor.”

The plan was for me to y out to NY approximately once a month, but of course, that plan has gone the way of Coronavirus as with all things. So a few weeks ago, I did my rst appearance from my little outdoor YardPod with my iPhone as the camera (I only had to get up at 3:45am this time!) I’m excited to do it, however and wherever we can make it work. I’m guessing the folks in NY will be glad when the professionals can do my makeup and hair This is me with the always stylish and amazing Gayle King.

4. A New Website

Last but certainly not least, I’ve been working with a team of great women on creating a new website that can properly hold the various things you want a website to provide. We launched it last week. I hope you’ll take a look and let me know what you think, and as an extra incentive to do so, drumroll please, I’m very excited to announce that the very belated (aka hotly anticipated LOL) sequel to How to Raise an Adult will be out on April 6, 2021, and it will be called It’s Your Turn: The Real How-To on Adulting. (The credit for this wonderful title goes to my social media manager Clarice. Thank you and congratulations, Clarice!) And because YOU are one of my most loyal fans, I’m sharing a sneak-peek of It’s Your Turn with you here!

As excited as I am about these possibilities, each in its own way is just *potential* rather than *actual.” The podcast needs a distributor. The screenplay needs a director. For the TV gig to happen I need to pitch them good ideas. And the book, though it has a title and a publication date, is still only half written. Which means that by writing this letter to you, I’m probably procrastinating further So I’d better sign off.

Thanks for reading this, and if you feel like it, do let me know about the seeds you’re sowing. I want to support you as much as you support me xo,