SUPERSTORE (Spec Script) "Grillmaster"
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SUPERSTORE (spec script) "Grillmaster" Written by Josh Fruhlinger [email protected] 443-739-2157 PREVIOUSLY ON SUPERSTORE Amy and Adam are estranged but Amy is pregnant with Adam’s baby. Dina has agreed to be a surrogate for Glenn and Jerusha but is increasingly disgusted by the physical reality of her pregnancy. Jeff betrayed the rest of the gang in return for getting his job back as a Cloud 9 exec. Amy and Jonah had sex, which was accidentally broadcast to all other Cloud 9 stores worldwide. 2. COLD OPEN INT. - ELECTRONICS DEPT. - DAY AMY, GLENN, DINA (heavily pregnant), and MARCUS are standing in front of the BIG-SCREEN TVs, which are all turned off. AMY Can’t we just wait one more day to turn them back on? MARCUS Oh, I get it. Afraid they’ll rebroadcast your and Jonah’s little home movie, and you’ll get worked up and want to re-enact it. I’ve been there. AMY makes a disgusted noise. She spots JONAH across the store and tries to make eye contact, but he’s looking over his shoulder at something we can’t see and walking rapidly away. MARCUS (CONT’D) (shouting to Jonah) Looking good, big guy! DINA Corporate says we have to leave the TVs on. Otherwise customers think we’re just selling TV-shaped pieces of plastic, like we did before we settled the lawsuit in 2014. GLENN And they’ve gone through the trouble of creating a decency filter to install on all the televisions. If not for you and Jonah, that wouldn’t have even been invented! He turns the TV on with a remote. We see a TALK SHOW HOST who looks very much like, but is for legal reasons distinct from, Ellen Degeneres. TALK SHOW HOST ...and joining us today is Adam Dubanowski-- AMY cringes. Everyone avoids eye contact with her except DINA, who turns to look at her with intense interest. 3. TALK SHOW HOST (CONT’D) --who you probably know as the husband of the Cloud 9 employee who- The video and audio abruptly cut out, replaced by a high- pitched beeping and text reading DECENCY FILTER ACTIVATED. Glenn looks satisfied. AMY Can we just change the channel? TALK SHOW HOST (suddenly back) --but he’s not here to talk about that video. AMY He’s not? TALK SHOW HOST He’s here to talk about his grilling videos, which have gone mega-viral. GLENN That’s the good kind of viral, right? We see ADAM sitting on a couch on-set. ADAM Well, it turns out lots of people were searching on “Dubanowski,” and my YouTube channel was the second most popular hit. TALK SHOW HOST And people really connected with your grilling artistry! ADAM That’s right. I’ve got a book deal, and a TV series in development. They keep chatting eagerly over these next lines. AMY I think I’m going to be sick. DINA (holding her belly) You’re still in that phase, huh? Me, I gotta pee all the time. I’ve been trying to hold out. (MORE) 4. DINA (CONT'D) If I wanted regular bathroom breaks, I’d join a union. She clenches her fist and grimaces. AMY No, I mean, this was always Adam’s dream. And it’s happening ... now. GLENN Well, that’s great for him! AMY Yeah, Glenn. It’s great. She slouches off. After a beat, DINA unclenches her fist. DINA Nope, gotta go. She trots off in the opposite direction. GLENN and MARCUS watch the TV in silence for a moment. MARCUS (confused) So ... do we not like grilling? Onscreen, ADAM and the TALK SHOW HOST are about to DAB, when the DECENCY FILTER kicks in again. GLENN nods, appreciative END OF COLD OPEN 5. ACT ONE INT. - MULTIPURPOSE ROOM - DAY GLENN is addressing the whole staff during the morning meeting, already in progress. GLENN ...and so when we talk about the inflatable rafts, legally we can’t say “water” or “float.” GARRETT How about “summer fun”? GLENN “Fun” is iffy, but I think it’s OK. Now, we’re going to watch a video-- Everyone perks up. GLENN (CONT’D) --from Cloud 9 Vice President of Competitive Quality Jeff Sutton. Everyone moans and slouches again. GLENN (CONT’D) C’mon, it’s Jeff! You know, from before! MATEO rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath as the video starts. JEFF Hello, Cloud 9 team members! I’m here to share with you some competitive intel I gathered when working undercover at ... well, let’s just call it “Big Red.” DINA (squatting to try to get comfortable) He’s talking about Target. They’re one of our competitors. MATEO and AMY are sitting at a table together and start whispering to each other. 6. MATEO I cannot believe the three separate levels of unreality he’s operating on right now. AMY What happened with you guys? MATEO I broke up with him, obviously. He betrayed us. Plus he moved to Chicago, gross. AMY (teasing) Did you dump him before you found out he was going to be a vice president? MATEO Did you cheat on your husband before you found out he would be a grilling YouTube millionaire? AMY blinks, stung, and sits back. AMY We were ... already separated. JEFF These short videos -- I call them “Jeffisodes” -- will explain how we can counter “Big Red”’s techniques. Depending on where you are in the store, you’ll get them automatically pushed to your phones. JONAH has been sitting near the exit at a table with SANDRA, looking anxious. JONAH Wait, don’t we have to consent to have our phones-- DINA (now bending over and holding her lower back) Nope. JONAH’s phone lights up with JEFF’s face. 7. JEFF (on the phone) Did you know that dirty dishes in the break room can lead to Legionnaire’s Disease? SANDRA (loudly, to the phone) I didn’t! Thanks, Jeff! INT. - HOUSEWARES - DAY GLENN is watching his phone, mesmerized. AMY, craning her neck around, approaches him. AMY Glenn, have you seen J-- GLENN (not hearing her) Look! It’s your house! We see that GLENN is watching one of ADAM’s videos. He’s in the backyard standing in front of the grill. AMY Technically, yes, it is. ADAM Next, add the barbecue sauce. Don’t be intimidated: this is something you can buy in any store. GLENN mouths “barbecue sauce” silently. AMY That’s actually from a few years ago. You can see some of Emma’s old toys. GLENN Ooh, are you the one filming this? AMY God, no. That’s Adam’s “producer” Derek. Who I believe was sleeping on our couch at the time. DEREK (O.S.) Dude, the chicken leg is on fire! 8. ADAM Crap. All right, we can, uh, fix this in post. GLENN (reverently) Movie magic. INT. - PERSONAL CARE - DAY DINA is sitting in an folding chair, looking profoundly uncomfortable. She ignores JONAH power-walking by, followed a few seconds later by a PREGNANT WOMAN. A beat later, AMY arrives, looking after JONAH but not following him, then looking at DINA. AMY Dina. Can I talk to you about something? DINA Is it about having a creature inside you hollowing you out, like a serpent digging through the earth? AMY ...no? DINA Thank God. Great. Shoot. AMY You’re pretty good setting boundaries with Glenn. DINA His genetic material is currently gestating to term in my torso. But, other than that one thing? Yes. AMY It’s just that, he seems real fixated on Adam’s grilling videos, which is fine! But I don’t really want to see them, and I also don’t want to get into the state of our marriage with Glenn, because ... he might be judging me, morally! You know, what with... DINA The on-camera fornication? 9. AMY Yeah. DINA I wouldn’t worry about it. Glenn won’t judge anyone, because he’s incredibly weak. AMY Oh. DINA Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of stuff in the Bible he could condemn you with, but that’s just not how he’s built. Now, if I believed in any of that, you would not know what hit you. Fortunately, religion is all fake, so I can tell you that I actually admire you. AMY For accidentally broadcasting my sex life across the planet? DINA For still being able to see yourself as a sexual being, even though your body is being, you know, ruined! And honestly? It wasn’t that great in the first place. AMY Always nice to be admired. DINA I’m serious. I want to have sex again some day, and I need to know how you tricked yourself into thinking Jonah saw you as anything other than the swollen host to a grotesque parasite. AMY You know, I think I’m just going to ride it out with Glenn. He’ll lose interest eventually. DINA Suit yourself. She winces and puts a hand on her belly 10. DINA (CONT’D) You ever see the movie Aliens? INT. - LAWN PRODUCTS - DAY GARRETT is looking at his phone, with GLENN standing over his shoulder looking down on it. JEFF (O.S.) At “Big Red,” they take cues from the fashion industry. Customers don’t buy for now, they buy for the future, so put out seasonal items two, even three months in advance. GARRETT Jeff does seem pretty smart. GLENN He was a spy! GARRETT Yes, that was definitely a real thing that happened.