THE THE Elul 5762 • September 2002 JJewishewish U.S.A. $3.50/Foreign $4.50 • VOL XXXV/NO. 7 OOBSERBSERVERVER vh,ukkeuvh,ukkeu vbavba vkf,vkf, vh,ufrcuvh,ufrcu vbavba kj,kj,

In this issue REMEMBERING k’’mz Rabbi • Rabbi Hillel Goldberg Rabbi Leonard Oppenheimer • Rabbi Zev Kahn Also The Torah Map of America – Revisited Rabbi Chaim Dov Keller Yamim Noraim Reflections THEJJewishewish Elul 5762 • September 2002 OOBSERBSERVERVER U.S.A.$3.50/Foreign $4.50 • VOL XXXV/NO. 7

THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021-6615 is published monthly except This is the full Table of Contents of the print edition of the July and August by the Agudath of America, 42 Broadway, New York, Jewish Observer.The web edition contains only a selection of NY10004. Periodicals postage paid in New articles (indicated in color). Click on the title to go to the Yo r k, NY.Subscription $24.00 per year; beginning of that article. Click on the box at the end of each two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. article to come back to this page. Or navigate using your Outside of the United States (US funds drawn on a US bank only) $12.00 sur- browser’s menu and other options. charge per year. Single copy $3.50; for- 8 10 3535 eign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 42 Broadway, NY., NY. 10004. Tel: 212-797-9000, 8 Yahrzeit: September 11 / 23 Elul, Nisson Wolpin Fax: 646-254-1600.Printed in the U.S.A. RABBI NACHMAN BULMAN l”xz RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR 10 Biographical Notes

EDITORIAL BOARD 11 Rabbi Nachman Bulman l”xz – An Appreciation, RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS Chairman Rabbi Mendel Weinbach

RABBI ABBA BRUDNY 15 Unfinished Symphony, Rabbi Hillel Goldberg JOSEPH FRIEDENSON RABBI YISROEL MEIR KIRZNER 17 A Vestige of Earlier Times, Rabbi Leonard Oppenheimer RABBI PROF. AARON TWERSKI 19 A Talmid Remembers, Rabbi Zev Kahn

DR. ERNST L. BODENHEIMER Z”L READER’S FORUM: RABBI MOSHE SHERER Z”L Founders 23 “Redrawing the Torah Map of America,” Rabbi Chaim Dov Keller MANAGEMENT BOARD AVI FISHOF, NAFTOLI HIRSCH ISAAC KIRZNER, RABBI SHLOMO LESIN YAMIM NORAIM REFLECTIONS NACHUM STEIN 28 The Secret of the Truah Gedola, Rabbi Fyvel Shuster RABBI YOSEF C. GOLDING Managing Editor 31 Bein Adam L’chaveiro …At All Times, Rabbi Dov Berish Ganz Published by Agudath Israel of America 35 “All Vows,” Dr. Aaron Twerski

U.S. TRADE DISTRIBUTOR ISRAELI REPRESENTATIVE Intnl. Media Placement 200 Airport Executive Park POB 7195 / 5 Even Israel 39 Rethinking “Kosher” Videos and Computer Games, Nanuet, NY 10954 , ISRAEL Rabbi Leib Kelemen BRITISH REPRESENTATIVE BELGIAN REPRESENTATIVE M.T. Bibelman Mr. E. Apter 40 Digressing on the Internet, Dr. Bernard Fryshman Grosvenor Works Lange Kievitstr. 29 Mount Pleasant Hill 2018 Antwerp VOICES FROM ERETZ YISROEL London E5 9NE, ENGLAND BELGIUM

FRENCH REPRESENTATIVE SOUTH AFRICAN 43 When Grown-Ups Are Helpless, Sarah Shapiro Rabbi Bamberger REPRESENTATIVE 21 Boulevard Paixhans Mr. V. Taback 45 A Few Thoughts on a Motza’ei Shabbos, Debbie Shapiro 57000 Metz PO Box 51552, FRANCE Raedene, Johannesburg 2124 SOUTH AFRICA SWISS REPRESENTATIVE 47 “Yaakov Avinu Lo Meis – Our Father Jacob Did Mr. S. Feldinger Leimanstrasse 36 Not Die,” Rabbi Benzion Twerski 4051 Basel, SWITZERLAND 49 In Search of the Ehrliche Yid, a review essay of Chafetz THE JEWISH OBSERVER does not Chaim: Lessons in Truth, by Rabbi Moshe Eisemann assume responsibility for the Kashrus of any product, publication, or service 52 The Bostoner Rebbetzin, Raichel Horowitz h”i, advertised in its pages Rabbi Hillel Goldberg © Copyright 2002 54 Letters to the Editor September 2002 56 Way Beyond Us, a poem by Bracha Goetz VOLUME XXXV/NO. 7 SUBSCRIBE TO THE JEWISH OBSERVER. CLICK HERE. YAHRZEITYAHRZEIT

September 11 / 23 Elul

nniversaries are ripe with mean- their loss once again, and draw lessons, ing and charged with emotion- and find inspiration and instruction, Aal resonance – with joy or sorrow, from each person’s contributions and with hope or sense of loss, depending achievements. Even as the wounds are on the event they mark. A prime exam- open afresh, there is a concomitant heal- ple is September 11, the day that in a n event of such ing and a growth of sorts, as well. matter of ninety minutes the Twin Tow- In the case of the World Trade Cen- ers, icon of America’s financial preem- Amagnitude that ter, we cringe in horror at the brutality inence, and a section of the Pentagon of those who perpetrated the atrocity. Building, the nerve-center of America’s took place on the At the same time, we become awe-struck unrivaled military might, came crash- eve of Rosh once again at the fullest measure of ing down. With them came the loss of devotion expressed by ’s our country’s sense of invulnerability. Hashana surely fire-fighters, police and rescue person- A first Yahrzeit brings the initial year nel, as well as countless volunteers – to a close and ends a period of mourn- carries a compelling valiant Hatzolah members prominent ing – mourning for loss of innocent among them – who risked all… and, at lives, mourning for precious brothers message to us as times, gave all – to save others. and sisters who were caught in the infer- . As we pause, we also experience a no and left behind bereaved families and profound appreciation for the kinship stricken communities, mourning the we feel with all of our fellow Americans loss of America’s imperviousness to – not just for a sense of shared victim- physical attack. And then there is the ization, but for all the blessings of liv- shock from the loss of a symbol that ing in a country that not only tolerates proclaimed for all the world that even our path of worship and avodas Hashem the sky is no limit to American growth with the essence of the departed. Their (service to G-d), but welcomes its and unchallenged superiority. neshamos are summoned for a review of flourishing. Indeed, we are all in this On a personal level, a Yahrzeit is an the Divine judgment. And the survivors together, and perhaps we can draw a encounter of sorts on a spiritual plane, experience a closeness, as they evaluate straight line between shared blessings

8 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 and shared suffering. As Jews, and as Yes, it is a time to build – in realms timeless hopes into thriving realities – Americans, we were – and are – targets of the spirit. After all, aren’t we Jews well- especially with the approach of the New of the destructive hatred of those who versed in finding paths through moun- Year – our People’s sacred mission? Isn’t do not see room on this planet for our tains of ashes, and building impressive this a most appropriate time to respond chosen ways of life. edifices on tragedy-scarred terrain? to this call? Isn’t translating prophetic visions and N.W. here are a number of lessons that we would do well to review and Treinforce on this Yahrzeit and con- Rav Bulman zt”l Had One tinue to reflect on even after it passes. If, indeed, in the wake of September 11, Last Dream… Americans in general and New Yorkers in particular have felt a need to devote more time and attention to the spiritu- al dimensions of their lives, how much more so should we Jews, the People of the Torah, do the same. Suffering a hum- bling blow in terms of physical might and material glory can in its way be an impetus for dedicated spiritual growth. Those who mark the passage of Rav Nachman Bulman zt"l gave all he had to the Jewish people. time by the civil calendar think in terms He gave his time. He gave his health. He gave himself. of “9/11.” We Jews live by the rhythms of the lunar year, and to us, 23 Elul is Even in his passing, he gave. He gave us the tremendous opportunity to the Yahrzeit of that cataclysm. An event complete his last masterpiece: Beis Midrash Nachliel the Rav’s center of such magnitude that took place for Torah and Prayer in Neve Ya’akov, Yerushalayim. during the days of Selichos, on the eve Beis Midrash Nachliel is in the midst of a building campaign to erect a of Rosh Hashana – and now is being permanent house of learning to study and spread the unique Torah revisited during the same season of wisdom that the Rav zt"l left behind. introspection – surely carries a com- pelling message to us as Jews. The call You, too, can have a portion in Rav Bulman’s legacy while creating a of the hour – and the year, for that mat- vibrant center for Torah and Prayer in Eretz Yisrael. ter – issued by political leaders was one To partake in this special project, or for information regarding of “Let us continue our lives as usual. dedication opportunities, please contact Rabbi Yehudah Bulman at We will show the enemy that we have 972-2-585-9686 or fax: 972-2-585-5778 not surrendered!” It is a call worth lis- tening to. Our teachers of Torah, how- ever, issued another call, as well, sum- moning us to respond to an alarm that echoes the shofar’s cry,“Wake up! Wake up from your slumbering!” On this Yahrzeit,we should review the words spoken by Gedolei Yisroel1 in the after- math of 23 Elul, and follow their direc- tives – their remarks, reflections, and rec- ommendations – as we prepare to continue to build on the deep impres- You Can Make It A Reality. sion of what is commonly referred to as Ground Zero.

1 We refer the reader, for example, to essays based Tax-deductible checks can be made payable to: on addresses by Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon (the Friends of Nachliel Inc. Mashgiach of Bais Medrash Gavoha in Lakewood) 1055 N.E. 174th St. and Rabbi Yaakov Perlow (Novominsker N. Miami Beach, FL 33162 and Rosh Agudas Yisroel) among others, published U.S. Tax # 22-2418389 in this journal last October and November.

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 9 Rabbi Mendel Weinbach

Rabbi Nachman Bulman l”xz – An Appreciation

“Father, father, chariot of Israel and its horsemen.” here were two occasions when this painful outcry was recorded Tin sacred writings – uttered by someone who mourned the passing of a leader of his generation, expressing a sense of inadequacy to take up the man- tle of responsibility bequeathed to him. The first was when the Prophet Elisha saw his master, Eliyahu Hanavi, taken up to heaven in a storm. The sec- ond was when Rabbi Akiva encountered the funeral procession of his mentor, Rabbi Eliezer, on its way from Kesari to Lod on a Motza’ei Shabbos.And it has been echoed again and again in similar circumstances. It was on Motza’ei Shabbos, Parshas Mattos-Massei (July 6), that this cry was heard from a huge crowd of talmidim and admirers who gathered at one o’clock in the morning in the Beis Hamidrash of Ohr Somayach in Yerushalayim for the funeral of Rabbi Nachman Bulman l”xz. The cry of “Father, father” truly expresses the grief felt not only by those Rabbi Bulman at dedication of new Torah scroll, Beis Midrash Nachliel in Neve Yaakov. at the late night funeral but by count- less thousands in Eretz Yisroel, the whose lives were transformed by the his talmidim in Ohr Somayach and his United States and throughout the world impact of Reb Nachman’s Torah, his per- congregants in the communities in Rabbi Weinbach, Rosh Hayeshiva of Ohr Somay- sonality and his love for every Jew. America and Eretz Yisroel whom he ach in Jerusalem, is author of several books on “Father, father,” says the Midrash, served as Rav for many decades. He was the teachings of the Chofetz Chaim as well as 127 means “Father and mother.”Reb Nach- the wise father sharing his wealth of Lessons From Megillas Esther, and Turnabout, based on the Malbim’s commentary on Esther man, like Eliyahu Hanavi and Rabbi Torah with his beloved children and (Feldheim). Eliezer, was both father and mother to guiding them with his profound Torah

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 11 hashkafa. But he was also the caring and insight offered by the Iyun Yaakov: compassionate mother to whom men A tzaddik does not leave this and woman of all ages came with their world, say Chazal (Yoma 38), until personal problems, and left his presence another tzaddik appears to replace with lighter hearts and clearer minds. him. Why, then, are we so distraught “Chariot of Israel and its horsemen” by the passing of a tzaddik? is explained by Targum Yonasan ben The answer lies in the mourning Uziel as “Your tefillos were more valu- we express till this very day for the able to Israel than chariots and riders.” destruction of the First Beis Hamid- All of these aspects – father, moth- kash.Why cry for the destruction of er, and the praying protector of his peo- that Temple when it was replaced by ple – found such poignant expression a second one? Hashem indeed gave us on that Yom Kippur eve in Ohr audiences throughout the world. His the opportunity to build that Second Somayach a quarter of a century ago brilliant pen and literary genius Beis Hamikdash,but it lacked five when our beloved Mashgiach,having launched The Jewish Observer, and cre- elements that distinguished the first lifted our souls with his Kol Nidrei, ated the English version of the Torah one – there was no aron kodesh with ascended to the Aron Kodesh platform classic Book of Our Heritage.He set a its kapores and keruvim to serve as a to speak words of chizuk. standard for the rabbinate in America repository for the Luchos Habris “It is traditional,” he said to the with his courageous championing of (Tablets of the Law) and Sefer Torah; hundreds of talmidim,“for parents to daas Torah,and emerged as a fire from heaven in the form of a lion bless their children at the outset of Yom spokesman for genuine Orthodoxy. He did not descend to the altar; the Kippur. Since your parents are not here made his secular knowledge a tool for Shechina,which invested the first to do so, I will act as their shaliach, communicating Torah values to a Mikdash with such sanctity, was miss- their proxy.” modern generation. ing; the Ruach Hakodesh,which And there he stood in his kittel,with imbued men with prophecy, was not tears in his eyes, reciting the blessing AS SEVERE A LOSS AS THE there; and the Urim v’Tumim,which of the Chaye Adam to his “children,” DESTRUCTION OF THE BEIS lit up the breastplate of the Kohein who suddenly realized that for them HAMIKDASH Gadol, no longer functioned as the he was a father, a mother and a pro- transmitter of a Divine response for tective shield. he death of a tzaddik,say Chaz- guidance. Reb Nachman was the true ish al, is as severe a blow as the Just as the Second Beis Hamikdash eshkalos…the man of many diverse tal- Tdestruction of the Beis Hamik- served as a replacement but was not ents, which he dedicated to avodas dash (Rosh Hashana 18a). This com- quite the same as the first, so, too, the Hashem.His articulate tongue brought parison, as it relates to the passing of novice leader who replaces the tzad- the truth and beauty of the Torah to Reb Nachman, is illuminated by an dik of a previous generation is never quite the same, for each generation v"c is one step further removed from the source. How can we replace the role of Reb Frum Therapist Nachman as an aron hakodesh who was Frum Therapist such a great repository of Torah, • Individual and Family Therapy • Marriage Counseling • Relationship Skills Enhancement whether in his role as founder of Yeshi- va Derech Ayson of Far Rockaway, of a Counseling for Torah in a remote communi- Depression - Anxiety - Stress ty in Virginia, or as Mashgiach in Ohr Somayach? Where will we find that leo- Substance Abuse & At-Risk Youth nine fire with which he waged battles against compromise in American Jew- Daytime, Evening, & Sunday Appointments available ish life and which helped win the bat- tle against a stadium (planned in 1978 Jules Brotsky, A.C.S.W. for Shuafat, on the edge of Jerusalem, 35 Years experience today the location of thriving Ramat 908-289-0101 Shlomo) that threatened chareidi neighborhoods in Yerushalayim? Where Licensed in NY & NJ Elizabeth, N. J. Endorsed by Rabbonim will we be able to have that sense of

12 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 Shechina,which one felt listening to his Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, and made spiritual wealth of these generations that moving tefillos or his words of private them feel as if they were fighting the he served as a link. The golden chain counsel? Where can we seek that ruach same battles against Reform, Haskala, went back to the Neviim who would hakodesh anticipation of the future secular nationalism and compromise come alive in his incomparable shiurim needs of Torah Jews arriving in Eretz that these giants had waged in their in Chumash and Nach,to the Tannaim Yisroel from the Western world, which countries, and that Reb Nachman had and Amoraim whose superhuman wis- made Reb Nachman the father or waged in America. When he explained dom and impeccable character seemed guide of such communities as Betar, the world views of the Chazon Ish, the to jump off the pages of the Gemara or Migdal Ha’emek, Telz Stone, Neve Brisker Rav,Rabbi Aaron Kotler and Midrash he explained. He enabled us to Yaakov and many others? And, finally, Rabbi Elazar Shach, he brought home virtually hear what the Rambam, who will supply us with the unflinch- the depth of daas Torah of the previous Chovos Halevavos, Mabit, Mesillas ing, unequivocal responses to queries on generation as it applied to our own. Yesharim, the Vilna Gaon and Reb public and private issues which char- But it was not only in regard to the Tzaddok Hakohein had to say about our acterized the Urim VeTumim? These have all been lost with the pass- ing of Reb Nachman. Simcha Guidelines A LINK IN THE GENERATIONAL CHAIN OF MESORAH THE VORT • The menu for the seuda is limited to 3 • The Vort celebration is to be courses followed by a regular dessert. ut there is yet another perspective discontinued. The L’chaim (held at of his passing as comparable to • No Viennese table and no bar. Churban Beis Hamikdash.In our the time that the engagement is B announced) should also not turn into a THE MUSIC Shemoneh Esrei,we pray for the welfare of pleitas sofreihem – the remnants of Vort. • A band may consist of a maximum of our scholars. This is a reference to those THE WEDDING 5 musicians (one of the musicians may act spiritual giants who serve as a link from as a vocalist) or four musicians and one • Only 400 invited guests may be one generation to another, creating a additional vocalist. seated at the chassuna seuda. golden chain which connects us to the • A one-man band is recommended. Beis Hamikdash and Sinai. When such • The kabbolas panim smorgasbord a generation-bridging figure passes, we should be limited to basic cakes, fruit plat- FLOWERS & CHUPA DECOR sense the trauma of that chain being ters, a modest buffet, and the caterer’s • The total cost of these items for the entire broken and our links to the Beis Hamik- standard chicken or meat hot dishes. wedding should not exceed $1,800. dash suffering destruction. Reb Nachman served his talmidim FOR THE FULL VERSION OF THE SIMCHA GUIDELINES and all who heard him as a link to AND THE ACCOMPANYING KOL KOREH, another generation, another world. His please email [email protected] or call 212-612-2300 approach to Gemara echoed the derech of the sacred Lithuanian yeshivos,which We the rabbinical signatories — barring familial obligations — and unusual and he had received from his great teachers. extraordinary circumstances — will not participate in or attend a wedding celebration that His stories about the colorful Chassidim disregards these guidelines. (Rabbinical Listing in formation) in the Poilishe Shteibel on the Lower East Rabbi Shmuel Birnbaum Rabbi Eli Simcha Schustal Rabbi Elya Ber Wachtfogel Side of Manhattan, where he grew up, Rosh Hayeshiva, Mirer Rosh Hayeshiva, Bais Binyomin, Stamford Rosh HaYeshiva, Yeshiva Gedolah of South Fallsburg introduced talmidim to a hitherto Rabbi Elya Svei Rabbi Yisroel Rokowsky Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Gedola of Philadelphia Rabbi Yisroel Simcha Schorr Rabbi Chaim Boruch Wolpin unknown world of Chassidus.He blend- Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Karlin Stolin Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky Roshei HaYeshiva, Yeshiva Ohr Somayach ed the wisdom of the Chassidic writings Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Gedola of Philadelphia Rabbi Aryeh Rabbi Zecharia Gelley Rav, Khal Adas Jeshurun with that of the masters of Mussar, Rabbi Yaakov Perlow Rosh Hayeshiva, , Lakewood inspiring his listeners to strive for the Novominsker Rebbe Rabbi Yisroel Tzvi Neuman Rabbi Lipa Margulies Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva & Mesifta Torah Temimah moral perfection of past generations. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Feigelstock Rosh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva of Long Beach Rabbi Dovid Kviat When he taught the talmidim in our Ohr Rabbi Dovid Tzvi Schustal Rabbi Moshe Wolfson Chairman, Conference of Rabbonim Rosh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Lagola Leadership Training Program, Mashgiach, of Agudath Israel preparing them for careers in rab- Rabbi Aron Moshe Schechter Rabbi Yeruchem Olshin Rabbi Shlomo Mandel banus, chinuch and kiruv, he connected Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Chaim Berlin Rosh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva of Brooklyn them to the Chasam Sofer,Rabbi Rabbi Yosef Rosenblum Rabbi Mattisyahu Salamon Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman Shamshon Rephael Hirsch and Rabbi Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva Shaarei Yosher Mashgiach, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Hayeshiva, Mesivta Meor Yitzchok

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 13 own lives and aspirations. And when he every experience to harbotzas Torah spoke with such pathos about Jews who (Torah dissemination) and avodas chose to be burned at the stake rather Hashem (service of G-d). To strive than embrace the cross, our eyes welled constantly to reach higher goals and to up with tears as if we were ourselves wit- set higher standards for our own nesses to their heroic martyrdom al Kid- talmidim. dush Hashem. Most of all, he taught an entire world He had a brilliant historical per- the meaning of mesiras nefesh.An intel- spective of every movement in the lectual giant who would have been lion- Jewish world and every segment. He ized in the secular world chose instead taught us to understand the ideology of to serve in far-flung rabbinical positions, each, to criticize when necessary, but to to deal with youngsters as one of the do so out of compassion and love for a founding fathers of NCSY, and to ded- fellow Jew. icate so many years to helping alienat- ed Jews find their way back to their HIS LEGACY Torah and their people. His remarkable Rebbetzin and outstanding children eb Nachman’s passing indeed earned a significant share in his self-sac- leaves us an orphaned generation, rifice for having made it possible for Reb Rlike the children who have lost Nachman to achieve so much in his life- their father who connected them to the time. Their example of mesiras nefesh glorious past. For half a century, he will serve as a standard that all of us will taught Torah and Torah values to so strive to live up to. While we may feel 1537 50th Street, many talmidim and congregants. But he inadequate to fill his giant footprints, Brooklyn, NY 11219 also taught those of us who were priv- whatever we succeed in achieving will ileged to work with him some power- be to his credit and shall serve as a liv- (718) 854-2911 ful lessons: To dedicate every talent and ing monument to his memory. ■              Choson and Kallah Modesty: An Adornment during their For Life Halachos and Attitudes concerning Engagement Tznius of dress and conduct

BY RABBI BY RABBI PESACH ELIYAHU FALK At a time when the world at With tact, sensitivity, and great large challenges any notion of halachic insight, Rabbi Falk “modesty” comes a text that pro- vides the perfect antidote. discusses conduct relating to Modesty: An Adornment For that special period known as the Life is a practical yet compre- time of engagement. hensive guide to the laws and ideology of Tznius ... modesty in For parents, teachers, prospec- Jewish life. tive chasanim and kallahs, and In this indispensable guide you will find entire chapters dealing with all aspects those already engaged, here is a of Tznius — from clothing, jewelry, and cosmetics text that offers guidelines, clarity to issues of behavior, speech, and social interaction. and understanding — to a spe- Rabbi Falk takes this vital Jewish concept and makes it accessible and understandable to all readers. cial time in a choson and Modesty: An Adornment For Life is a book for our time, and a most kallah’s life. welcome addition to every Jewish home and school. FELDHEIM PUBLISHERS Toll Free: 800-237-7149 Torah Literature of Quality www.feldheim.com

14 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 Rabbi Hillel Goldberg

Unfinished Symphony

is words, his intonations, his piercing vision came a magnitude of shrewd advice that helped sustain Torah emotion, his resounding and aspiration and a certain inevitable pain, institutions in cities across four conti- Hcaptivating voice, his soft whis- and frustration. Things cannot be put nents. Rabbi Bulman translated Eliyahu pers, his smooth, ceaseless unraveling of right just because the right is seen and Kitov’s classic works, setting a standard the most complex Torah texts, his ges- the solution is conceivable. for accuracy and elegance, and led the tures, his hammering the table, his sub- Ah! The scope of his “shortfall.” prayers for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kip- tlest nod – and my tears – stand before Rabbi Bulman revolutionized families, pur, setting a standard for emotion and me, alive, burning, pulsating. Never seekers, simple people, sophisticated inspiration. Rabbi Bulman coerced, by before has the saying of Chazal,“The unrelenting force of intellect and emo- righteous, in their deaths, are called tion, countless people to see beyond their alive,” been so alive. Hundreds of con- limited vision. His vision, he did not fully versations, lectures, dynamic inter- abbi Bulman never realize; others’ vision, he nurtured, changes with others in my Rwrote his overarching, expanded, deepened, layered – individ- presence…they condense, distill, and ually, literarily, institutionally. proclaim: unfinished symphony. discursive masterpiece Sympathetic observers commented of Jewish thought. He ho mourned his passing? over the years: Notwithstanding the obvi- never wrote it: on paper. Lithuanian roshei yeshiva, ous – Rabbi Nachman Bulman’s extraor- WChassidic ,modern dinary talents, stature, deeds – he was not He wrote it on the Orthodox neighbors, ex-hippie types, always justly recognized for his gifts. His human heart. chareidim,non-religious Jews, scholars, vision of the depths of the Torah, of the despairing divorcees whose get – after integrity of the Torah community, of the countless previous failures – he had suc- connection with the giants in the Torah cessfully secured, penniless orphans past, was too fertile to be fully appreci- people. His stopping points were official whose shidduchim he had made, and the ated. His insight was so sharp, so cutting, positions in official institutions, but no families of people who died premature- as to recall the Prophets of old. Did Jere- less in chance encounters, on countless ly, whom he had counseled: the list, in all miah realize his vision of a repentant travels, and over Shabbos meals. its variety, is not the final point. Rabbi Bul- Jewish people? Rabbi Bulman saw Rabbi Bulman built institutions. He man never wrote his overarching, dis- through things, within individual lives had a major hand in founding one cursive masterpiece of Jewish thought, and within the community. With his kehilla,two girls’ seminaries, one yeshi- integrating Mussar,Chassidus,philosophy Rabbi Hillel Goldberg is executive editor of Den- va, one synagogue, The Jewish Observ- and Midrash. He never wrote it: on paper. ver’s Intermountain Jewish News and active in a er,all of which continue to this day. He wrote it on the human heart. People wide variety of outreach efforts, including the Rabbi Bulman delivered masterful lec- connected to him, not as they might con- mikveh team of Torah Community Project. A fre- tures in yeshivos and seminaries, and nect vicariously to a public figure, or pro- quent contributor to these pages, he was repre- sented by “Is Reform Jewry Coming Home?” in mesmerizing orations at conventions. fessionally to a counselor, or pedagogically the June ’99 JO. Quietly, behind the scenes, he delivered to a learned rabbi, or lovingly to a fam-

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 15 ily patriarch, though he was a public fig- – unfolded which such ease, passion, and ure, counselor, rabbi, and patriarch. precision. AREIVIM They connected to him because he did not HOTLINE stand apart. For all his presence and ho is the paradigm? The Baal charisma, he was, like he once said of the Shem Tov, who transformed From crisis to control. great Polish talmid chacham Rav Men- Windividuals in spiritually Helping our boys and girls achem Ziemba, a simple Jew, accessible, charged encounters? It fits: Anyone direct. Who mourned his passing? Sure- ever buttonholed by Rabbi Bulman Parents: 1-866-6AREIVIM ly not least, his students and disciples. knows the transforming emotion, pun- Teens: 1-866-OURGUYS Riveting, humbling: the way he gency and kedusha of his teaching. Rabbi Email: [email protected] unfolded a text of Torah, even so much Israel Salanter, who gave visibility to the All calls are confidential. as a single line or phrase, unveiling oth- Torah’s stress on character? It fits: Rabbi lknhkt hcm ic iuhm ic b’’gk erwise unseen layers, nuances, made so Bulman’s visceral recoil at lapses in ample, so striking, under his probing eye integrity was part of his essence. Rabbi Samson R. Hirsch, who wove tapestries of thought, and who rejected any tac- tical compromise with non-Orthodox Subscribe or give a gift of and secular Zionism – and some of whose descendants settled in Israel? It fits in every particular. Rabbi The Jewish Observer Bulman would cringe at being includ- ed in this esteemed company, but he embodied all of their legacies – but they and $ave! are not his model. American born, sub- ject to realities they never knew, Rabbi HY NOT GIVE OR GET A PRESENT W Bulman was his own paradigm, refract- THAT WILL LAST AN ENTIRE YEAR ? ing his multifaceted inheritance through ubscribe, or give a gift at these reduced prices his own lens. S An eloquent expositor of all threads and The Jewish Observer– filled with the views of Torah thought, Rabbi Bulman was of leading Torah thinkers on current issues– will be shaped by the severity of his father, the delivered each month, directly to your door. Gerrer remnants of his childhood, the The longer you subscribe for, the larger your savings. lomdus of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, the person of Rabbi Of course, this offer is unconditionally guaranteed; Yitzchak Hutner, the ideology of Agu- you may cancel at any time and receive a refund for das Yisroel, the thirst for Torah evinced all undelivered copies. by ba’alei teshuva, and the breakdown So order today, and the very next issue will be on of the Jewish family. He was both tel- escope and microscope, reflector of its way to you as soon as possible. vast knowledge, and acute focus on J.O. SUBSCRIPTION SAVINGS CERTIFICATE individual quest. ❏ The wonder is not that Rabbi Bulman YES, I want to take advantage of this money saving offer! Enter my order as follows: left much undone. The wonder is the ❏ SELF ❏ GIFT Name______USA *OUTSIDE way he improved on the saying of the ONLY USA Lomzer Yeshiva’s Mashgiach,Rabbi ❏ Address______3 years Cover Price $105 Your cost $60 $96 Moshe Rosenstein: “It takes five hours City ______❏ 2 years Cover Price $70 Your cost $44 $68 of thinking to achieve five minutes of ❏ 1 year Cover Price $35 Your cost $24 $36 State ______Zip ______pure thought.”In Rabbi Bulman’s case, ❏ Send gift card from:______every word and gesture seemed to be a ❏ Enclosed: $ ______or pure thought. A concentrated essence. Charge my: ❏ MasterCard ❏ VISA His symphony, if unfinished, was both 42 Broadway, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10004 The Jewish Observer is published monthly except July and August. Account No. ______a kaleidoscope and an unflagging thirst Please allow 4 - 6 weeks for delivery. Expiration Date: (month/year) ______for the absolute simplicity of the most *Outside U.S.A. price reflects $12 extra per year to defray air shipping costs. Foreign payment must be made in U.S. dollars, either by check Signature______concentrated essence of all, the oneness drawn on a bank in the U.S.A. or by VISA or MasterCard. of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. ■

16 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 YAMIM NORAIM REFLECTIONS Rabbi Dov Berish Ganz BEIN ADAM L’CHAVEIRO

Rabbi Yisroel Salanter left a profound and enduring impact upon In truth, teshuva and the consequent greater frumkeit should the world of Torah when he founded what became known as the strengthen one’s observance of all mitzvos.Accordingly, the sincere Mussar Movement. One event that reputedly motivated a very young teshuva of the Yamim Noraim should inspire a heightened sensi- Reb Yisroel was an incident that occurred on the eve of Yom Kip- tivity to bein adam l’chavero rather than have the opposite effect. pur. It is recounted in Nesivos Ohr by Rabbi Yitzchak Blazer (a dis- Reb Yisroel apparently saw that man’s type of inconsistency as ciple of Reb Yisroel). part of a pattern common to many others. He went on to promul- Reb Yisroel noted a very devout Jew coming toward him. Reb Yis- gate the Mussar Movement which stressed (among other things) the roel asked him something he needed to know (i.e. the time). The man idea that Jews should direct a special focus on the Torah’s precepts was so overwhelmed with his own teshuva process that he did not answer. of bein adam l’chaveiro. Why, asked Reb Yisroel to himself, should that man’s involve- Based on the Torah reading of the first day of Rosh Hashana, ment with teshuva have the effect of impeding his required atten- this article focuses on one of the daunting challenges faced when tion to the precepts of bein adam l’chaveiro (of interpersonal nature)? seeking to refine one’s bein adam l’chaveiro.

Rabbi Ganz is a former talmid and a musmach t is relatively easy to act gracious- exemplary bein adam l’chaveiro is a far of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim of Forest Hills, NY.His ly with others (1) when those other greater challenge. It is even more dif- recently published book, Defining Humanity – Ipeople are themselves gracious and ficult when dealing with an annoying Exploring Torah Insights into Man and Morality charming, and (2) when personally, one or unpleasant individual. Another dif- (Feldheim,) contains a series of Mussar-style insights into Sefer Bereishis.This article is based is feeling happy and content. When ficult scenario is when one must on the ninth chapter of that volume. feeling irritable, however, acting with express words of dissatisfaction or

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 31 in Bereishis 18) is the Torah’s exemplar of how one person should lavish vraham’s conduct represents the Torah’s ideal. kindness, graciousness and good will upon another. ANo situation should cause a letdown of one’s Avraham loved his son Yishmael as he loved his son Yitzchak (Bereishis outpouring of kindness and respect toward others. 22, 2 – Rashi). One can easily imag- ine that with his unequalled kindness and sensitivity, Avraham could have rebuke, perhaps to a child, a spouse, a was largely responsible. Avraham was felt distraught over being required to student or an employee. Typically, at first reluctant, but then Hashem break up his family, relegate his son there has already been a buildup of advised him to heed Sarah’s counsel. and wife to eternal subservience, resentment, hurt, or conflict. So con- Avraham was told to evict both and then send them off into real dan- fronting the person and situation Hagar and Yishmael and send them . He could have also perhaps felt with good will and equanimity is into the desert on a life-threatening bitterness and anger towards Hagar exceptionally difficult. journey. Furthermore, according to the for causing this to happen. The conduct of Avraham, as S’forno,Avraham had to then desig- But he was Avraham, the paradigm described in the Torah reading of nate that forever after, the descendants of chessed.Although he enacted the the first day of Rosh Hashana, is of Yishmael would be subservient to harsh response that was required by revealing. the descendants of Yitzchak. Hashem, in every other respect he Sarah became convinced that both Yet, the S’forno explains that Avra- maintained his superlative goodness Hagar and her son Yishmael had to be ham accompanied them from his and gentleness toward Hagar. banished from their household. The home with the same “abundant kind- Avraham’s conduct represents the S’forno explains that this was because ness” that he lavished upon the three Torah’s ideal. No situation should the conduct of Yishmael was intoler- guests who had visited him. Avraham’s cause a letdown of one’s outpouring able and detrimental, and that Hagar treatment of those guests (described of kindness and respect toward oth-

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32 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 ers. Even when a word of reproof or ited to that one matter only. eople may disagree with each a punishment is called for, all other We learn from this Rashi that other — at times, fairly intense- aspects of one’s bein adam l’chaveiro rebuke should be issue-specific, and it Ply. (As a rule, machlokes – feuding toward that person must remain at the should not evolve and disintegrate into – is almost always antithetical to Torah.) most exalted of levels. accusations and condemnations on Very often, the greatest damage does not (It could perhaps be compared to many different fronts. emanate from the disagreement itself, someone who seeks to rid his lawn of The S’forno quoted above expands but from the overall breakdown in civil- some scattered weeds. It would be dis- this concept and teaches that at difficult ity and consideration that can accom- astrous if the material used killed all moments, it is not sufficient to merely pany strife. Two people arguing over a of the grass as well. The objective is to avoid an escalation into broad-based specific matter may soon find themselves eliminate the weeds while maintain- conflict. Rather, what is required is that embroiled in an extensive multilevel ing every bit of the grass’s vitality.) the entire interaction should otherwise conflict that can include out-and-out remain in step with the Torah’s loftiest personal defamation and character abbi Avraham Trop l”z (a son of principles of bein adam l’chaveiro. assassination. Rabbi Naftali Trop of Radin) Rdeveloped a somewhat similar point from Rashi in Bereishis, 21, 25 (which is also read on of the first day of Rosh Hashana). That pasuk describes how Avraham rebuked Avimelech over a well that was stolen. Rashi “adds” that he called him to task over “this matter” (the well). But the pasuk clearly states that Avraham rebuked Avimelech over “this matter” (the well). What did Rashi add to what was clearly stated in the pasuk? Rabbi Trop answered that Rashi’s words were meant to be exclusionary. Rashi was pointing out that Avraham’s rebuke concerned “this matter” – that of the well, and that only. This is an important lesson, because criticizing someone face-to-face can easily give rise to a dredging up of numerous other past grievances, totally uncon- nected to the subject at hand (in mod- ern terms, “kitchen sinking”). Avra- ham, in his greatness, was above this practice, and thus, Rashi’s point is that his reprimand of Avimelech was lim-

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 33 The Torah calls upon people to There are numerous examples of eration imaginable; they must be strive to refine themselves (this is a this dynamic in the everyday interac- speaking to each other as affection- lifetime process) to the extent that they tions between friends, spouses, fam- ately as they did on the day of their will naturally and instinctively act as ily, business associates, etc. For exam- marriage. Then they may proceed to Avraham did. Then, even in the midst ple, a husband and wife are at the their issue.” If people would hearken of a difficult situation with another beginning of a dispute. Accusations to these voices at such moments, person, the prevailing attitude of are exchanged, and tempers begin to almost anything in the world would kindness, respect and love that char- rise. At this critical point, the “frum” improve – except perhaps for the ther- acterized the relationship will continue response is to hear Rashi and the apy business. unabated. This will enormously limit S’forno speaking. Rashi would be say- the harm that can ensue from an ini- ing to them, “If necessary, you may he discipline of children poses tially circumscribed disagreement. discuss your one point of grievance, a similar challenge. Chastise- but do not dredge up anything else.” Tment over a finite issue should The S’forno would then say, “Excuse not evolve into a sweeping denuncia- me, Rashi! I agree with what you said. tion of the child as a person. The habit However, that is not enough. Not only of sending a unilaterally negative and must they avoid additional com- disapproving message at such plaints, but also, like Avraham, they moments can cause lasting harm. should act with the greatest consid- The ethic of the S’forno calls upon the parent or teacher in the midst of rebuke or discipline to maintain the normally warm and supportive atti- tude toward the child.1 (And if the parent or teacher does not have a “normally warm and sup- portive attitude toward the child” - then that would seem to be a far greater problem.) This also relates to the first point raised regarding one’s conduct when feeling irritable or when dealing with difficult people. Avraham’s exempla- ry conduct toward Hagar remained unchanged, despite the terrible things that were then transpiring – things for which she was to blame. Certainly, then, one’s level of bein adam l’chaveiro should never falter simply because at certain times it is more dif- ficult to act graciously. ■

1 After considering the ideas of this article, one can better appreciate the words of Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky. A recently published work men- tioned that Reb Yaakov was asked about the advisability of spanking children as discipline. He responded that a young grandson of Rabbi Baruch Ber Leibowitz once turned on the lights on a Motza’ei Shabbos before Havdala.Reb Baruch Ber called the boy over, and with com- plete calm, he lovingly said to the child,“You are very dear to my heart, and I bless you with long and good years. However, you just violated an issur d’rabannan, and for that you deserve a potch.” Reb Yaakov continued that if a parent would give the child a potch with the calm and love that Reb Baruch Ber did, then it could be permitted.

34 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 VOICES FROM ERETZ YISROEL Sarah Shapiro When Grown-Ups are Helpless

world market when it comes to suffer- ing — the most cursory reading of any daily newspaper will remind us of tor- nados in Tennessee, earthquakes in Iran, ongoing brutality against civilians in Sierra Leona, a daughter who disap- ne of the standard hallmarks of with an explosive belt, and that the pears in Washington D.C., a daughter childhood is a sense of power- Israeli soldier with a kipa on his head kidnapped in Utah — we can indeed Olessness, both in relation to may not be an Israeli soldier with a kipa boast of being star pupils with front row one’s family and to the world at large. on his head), but exquisitely attuned, as seats when it comes to learning about To be a small person surrounded by well, to the gloriously soft breeze upon the limits of human power. We’re being giants is an experience all humans your face. That’s how it works. The pro- forcibly indoctrinated. share – one which we fully expect to found emotional recognition that you And since as individuals we’d have to escape one day by turning into adults. are unceasingly, helplessly vulnerable to absorb the knowledge of our weakness But when, eventually, we do find our- the world around you heightens not sooner or later, no matter where we were selves disguised as those odd-looking only your anxiety but all your other living, it is a great privilege to get the creatures called grown-ups, we discov- senses, too. The capacity for joy is deep- message in a uniquely meaningful fash- er that “being in control” remains, in ened. and broadened — a capacity for ion, in this setting, under these cir- fact, a pleasure rarely to be savored. pleasure in all things large and small. cumstances, all together as a people. We Adulthood offers endless opportunities The sky is bluer than blue. Little girls to feel as helpless as a child. jumping rope – a sudden vision, some- simchas chava Thanks to Arab terrorism, life in times, of unearthly loveliness. Simple Uncle Moishy, Israel has never been less than unstint- kindnesses in the course of normal Mordechai Ben David, ingly generous in this respect. If it’s exis- interactions between strangers can be tential truths you’re after – insights into invested with extraordinary poignancy. and other top-of-the-line the transient nature of our sojourn on A Friday night meal in your home, with Jewish entertainers the planet and the unpredictability of candles flickering and the peo- are available the universe – then get on an Egged bus ple you love safely around your table, to downtown Jerusalem. Walking along can induce such a mighty celebration of to visit the sidewalk, your mind will of itself be the heart as to rival the roaring of a seriously ill attuned keenly not only to each and happy crowd. children every passerby (alert to the possibility Since human helplessness is obvi- thanks to hvu tums that the woman coming your way in her ously one of the main things that life is tmsn rczl chador may be large not with child but designed to teach us, one way or anoth- gnydlag bkiy ‘r tb hvu er, before we slide off the mortal coil, A Chessed project run by Mrs. Shapiro of Jerusalem is a frequent contrib- then getting a crash course such as this Agudath Israel of America in conjunction with utor to these pages, most recently with “Living can only be to our ultimate advantage. Where Everything is Ground Zero” (Feb. ’02). Her Suki & Ding Productions Although we who are fortunate enough To set up an appointment, call: most recent book is A Gift Passed Along: A Woman (212)797-9000 Ext.235 • M-F, 9-5 Looks at the World Around Her – ArtScroll. to live here cannot claim a corner on the

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 43 watch ourselves up on center stage, as ly with my world. their feet, their children, their parents, prophesied history unfolds. The driver, an Ethiopian in his early their friends, their health, their peace of twenties, said “Oh, it’s America, geveret. mind. * * * Nothing here. Don’t worry.” We thank You for our souls that are “Don’t worry? How can I not worry? entrusted to You. n a taxi on the way downtown an My relatives are in America! And that An hour ago when I emerged from hour ago, the 4 p.m. news reported would start a whole new era, and the taxi, it was a toss-up. Should I come Ithat a warning is out in America that besides, any nuclear radiation over here, to my favorite café, or to the other terrorists might be planning an attack there will get here, too! Don’t you know one, with security guards at the on nuclear facilities. that?” entrance? …in Whose hand is the spirit “What was that?” I asked the driv- “Here?” His eyes met mine in his of every human being. Given the situa- er sharply from the backseat. Suspi- rear-view mirror. He seemed skeptical. tion not only on this street but in the ciousness has become second nature. “Yes! Of course, here! Radiation world, I’m glad to have opted for the In a most unwelcome fashion, this bul- goes everywhere!” greater comfort. From this small cozy letin had managed in an instant to “We are in G-d’s hands, geveret.” corner table that I favor, I glance down unearth that ancient childhood sense watchfully from time to time at the door. of being utterly, maddeningly at the * * * Two ambulances flash by, shrill sirens mercy of strangers toying dangerous- screaming, and instantly, in an ’m in the quiet upstairs atrium of a admirable demonstration of Jewish KARKA IN ERETZ YISROEL café on Ben Yehuda Street, the pedes- unity, all the coffee-drinkers stiffen, alert. Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for information Itrian mall in the center of town where Did something happen? In Your hand are on obtaining cemetery plots in Beth many suicide bombers have detonated the souls of the living and the dead. Shemesh and other locations in Israel. themselves over the years, where so Will there be more sirens? Into Your 011-972-2-656-9427 many, many Jews have lost their eyes, hand I entrust my spirit. their hearing, their faces, their hands, We wait. ■

44 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 VOICES FROM ERETZ YISROEL Debbie Shapiro A FEW THOUGHTS ON A MOTZA’EI SHABBOS

ast Motza’ei Shabbos, as usual, I We probably seemed an odd pair. Me, pain for Am Yisroel. took a long walk with a close an ultra-Orthodox grandmother, busy As I turn away to enter my apartment Lfriend. After briskly circling the raising a large family. Avi, a recovered building, I found myself silently asking neighborhood, and sighing over the dif- drug addict, dressed in cut-off blue jeans Hashem to give Avi – and all of Klal Yis- ficulties of life, we hurriedly returned and a ragged t-shirt. roel,for that matter - the strength to home to our families. But we were joined together in our grow from these challenging days. ■ It was then that I noticed Avi. Avi is not religious. His family is, but he is not. Until very recently, he was Dear Oorah, addicted to hard drugs. Today he is struggling to rebuild his life – and his Things have really changed since you came into my life. relationship with Hashem – after hav- ing freed himself of his abusive habit. Avi was perched on the bench out- You convinced my parents to send me to Yeshiva. You were there for me side of his parents’ apartment house, when we began keeping Shabbos and you helped me fit into my new staring into nothingness. A cigarette class. You listened to my questions and gave me answers. In every way, dangled from his mouth. Oorah, you became the religious relatives that we just didn’t have. I greeted Avi with a warm smile and My fam asked him how he’s doing. ily has come so far in the past few years, and my brother tells “Terrible,” he replies. me that Cucumber Communications m “Something’s the matter?” that all of Cucumber’s profits help Oorah send kids like me to Yeshiva. “Yes.” Is it really true? Does every long distanceade call it allpeople possible. make Hehelp told kids me It was obvious that Avi could barely like me grow up to be Shomer Torah U’Mitzvos? continue. “My close friend just died – tonight. He was critically wounded in I wish people knew what a difference using Cucumber has made for the bombing last week.” me. Thank you, Oorah, and please say thank you to all your friends I have known Avi since he was an who have chosen Cucumber. infant, and felt myself almost over- whelmed by my desire to hold this child and protect him from the cruel world that surrounds us. But that, of course, Avi Snyder was not possible. Staten Island, NY I can only stand and share in his sor- row. “When did you find out?” I ask. “I was with him…tonight… when he vcuy vbak died.” There are times that words can only be superfluous. There was nothing that I could possibly say. I stood for a few more minutes near the entrance to our * building and shared in Avi’s pain. 8.5¢ to Israel urs a Day 623) 24 Ho 4.5¢ state-to-stateUM directBER dial(282.8 Debbie Shapiro,a professional writer in .877.CUC 1 r.com Jerusalem whose byline appears weekly in the 0cucumbe American Yated Ne’eman, has had articles pub- www.80 her lished in these pages, most recently, “Food For *calls to international cell phones are hig

The Soldiers,” (April ’02). In-State rates vary. State to state calls are billed in 6-second increments from beginning of call. International calls are billed in 6-second increments after first 30 seconds. International cell phone rates are higher. Bills under $15 will be charged a billing charge of $2.50. Existing customers must call to receive new rates. Not available in all areas. Customer Service: 866.942.8686

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 45 Rabbi Hillel Goldberg The Bostoner Rebbetzin Raichel Horowitz h”i

e were perfect strangers. Yet, versities in the area. Open to friends in of our most beautiful memories came the Bostoner Rebbe invited us Boston and outside Boston. Open to rel- at a Beth Jacob High School of Denver Wfor Shabbos right over the atives – and open to all of these people’s graduation some years ago. A student phone. We were newly married, check- children. from out of town had been friends with ing out housing possibilities in the The home of Bostoner Chassidim had one of our daughters for four years. It Boston area. We didn’t give it a second three floors just for guests. After a while, was not until graduation that we met her thought: the Rebbe invited us for Shab- a separate building (with eight apart- parents. They looked familiar. Finally, we bos and so we went. Years later, having ments) was secured just for the medical put it together. Some 19 years earlier, had many children and hundreds of patients. Week in and week out, year in they were the couple that the Rebbetzin Shabbos guests of our own, I realized and year out – for decades – Rebbetzin had taken in so that they could under- what it meant for a husband to invite Raichel Horowitz prepared Shabbos go fertility treatment in Boston. They guests without first checking with his meals for 10 to 40 people. Some of the had endured countless disappoint- wife. It meant: His wife agrees. In the medical patients willingly pitched in for ments. My wife and I remembered the Rebbetzin’s case it meant: Invite as the Shabbos preparations. Compared to Rebbetzin encouraging them, month many as you want. It even meant: The the advice, warmth, prayers and hope after month. They stayed at her home more you invite, the more I accomplish that the Rebbe and Rebbetzin supplied, more than a year! Now, 19 years later, in life. it seemed very little to help the Rebbet- we realized that this friend of our own The passing of the Bostoner Rebbe’s zin prepare for the huge Shabbos crowd. daughter – this graduate – was the fruit wife, Rebbetzin Raichel Horowtiz, was a The unstated message was this: You of that medical treatment. penetrating loss for the countless thou- were not repaying a favor. You weren’t sands who had been the recipient of her actually helping out the Rebbetzin or the n 1996, the Rebbetzin published The unreserved chessed.The Rebbetzin was Rebbe – because they were not helping Boston Rebbetzin Remembers: Reb- the utterly reliable provider of meals, each other. This was not a model of a Ibetzin Raichel Horowitz of Boston / beds, advice, comfort, cheer and hope marriage in which spouses respected and Har Nof Recalls Jewish Life in Poland, for the entire spectrum of humanity. It cared for each other. This was much America and Israel (ArtScroll). is difficult to describe this credibly; if you more. When the Rebbe invited us for Violence marked the Rebbetzin’s did not witness it, you will think I exag- Shabbos, it was not because he wanted early years. She came to the US in the gerate. to and knew his wife would go along; it 1920’s, but her sister remained behind. We went to the Rebbe’s for Shabbos was because they both wanted to come So did countless relatives – all killed in that hot summer weekend over 30 closer to G-d. They were working for a the Holocaust. Their murder was hard- years ago. We noticed: Many others higher cause. They both believed that ly a distant happening. Raichel went, too. The Rebbe and the Rebbetzin chessed – reaching out to and caring for Horowitz had returned to Poland for ran what they called an “open house.” other people – was a major path to G- long visits twice. She knew her family Open to the charity collectors from d. Their marriage was not in service of well; with eloquence and pain she Israel. Open to very ill people seeking each other, but in service of G-d. This expresses her ache over their absence. major cures. Open to students from is why so many gladly rolled up their Then there were the pogroms, illness- Brandeis, Harvard, MIT and other uni- sleeves for the Rebbetzin. es, and premature deaths she witnessed. Rabbi Goldberg is executive editor of Denver’s Rebbetzin Horowitz invited couples Through it all, she remained an optimist, Intermountain Jewish News. into her home for months at a time. One giving her the fortitude for the life she

52 The Jewish Observer, September 2002 eventually chose with the Rebbe. rubbed shoulders with people decked fortable together. Age did not slow her Her parents divorced when she was out in Yerushalmi garb, utterly removed schedule or commitment. Only her final four; her mother and stepfather,“Cleve- from the secular world of Boston. But illness did that. May her example con- lander-Nadvorna Rebbe,” ran an open the Rebbetzin made everyone feel com- tinue to inspire us. ■ house – also preparation for her married life. She grew up with meshullachim (charity fundraisers) and other visitors, Considering a move some of whom were mentally ill. Her exposure to Chassidic Rebbes,Polish anti- to MONSEY? Semites, ne’er-do-wells, tzaddikim and American, non-Jewish public school For careful attention to your classmates gave the Rebbetzin an inex- individual needs, call us today! haustible pool of wisdom even before she (845) 354-8445 met the Rebbe.Then, through exposure to countless Shabbos guests, medical spe- cialists, brilliant students, impoverished drifters and religious seekers – not to You can! Just call mention her own, five accomplished chil- I wish I could The Yitti Leibel dren – the Rebbetzin knew exactly what Helpline. she stood for and what she wanted to do: “ chessed.Aptly,her memoir had two H OURS: unintended consequences. It revealed that speak to a Monday-Friday...... 8am -12pm Monday-Thursday ...... 8pm -11pm she was older than the Rebbe,which gave Sunday...... 9am -12pm, 9pm -11pm hope to older, unmarried girls; and it revealed that for years she had been raised frum therapist 718-HELP-NOW by a single mother, which gave hope to (718) 435-7669 single parents. Chessed. Chicago...... (800) HELP-023 By the time the Rebbe and Rebbetzin on the phone Lakewood...... (732) 363-1010 moved to Israel half-time in the mid- Cleveland...... (888) 209-8079 1980’s, their children were following in Baltimore...... (410) 578-1111 without giving Detroit...... (877) 435-7611 their footsteps. For example, in San Diego...... (866) 385-0348 Jerusalem, the Rebbetzin could spread g"v uuhkvgko crul anutk r' c, suxht jh'v ban, kgkuh )bpyrv h"t thhr ,ak"v( thhr h"t )bpyrv the wealth – the guests – among two g"v crtui sus nav r' ci hagh'v r' )bpyr c' xhui ,ak"v( xhui c' )bpyr children who lived in the Har Nof neigh- my name. ” Dedicated by Mr. & Mrs. Shmuel Boruch Wilhelm borhood. Even so, the Rebbe and Reb- betzin still invited guests; their apart- ment was packed for Kiddush and Havdalah.

t these events I looked around and saw young people, just as we Ahad been many years before. The Rebbe and Rebbetzin had not reached out to us because this is what they were doing at that stage of their lives. Singles, newlyweds, students, Chassidim,med- ical cases, friends, relatives: the Rebbe and Rebbetzin were reaching out to these people their entire lives. The diversity of people whom the Rebbetzin could relate to in Boston was dazzling. In Jerusalem, the range widened still more, with even the most traditional denizens of Me’ah She’arim added to the mix. Secular students

The Jewish Observer, September 2002 53