The Purchase
p u r c h a s e i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m Purchase’s Only Weekly News Source ISSUE 110
Students Petition for Gender Neutral Housing By Emily Farrell
Fag hags rejoice! Purchase may be mak- ing another step towards thinking wide open. The Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Union, headed by their president and queen of the queers, Blair Gershenson, has been petitioning Residence Life and gathering signatures in hopes of setting up gender-neutral housing for next semester. “Gender-neutral housing fits in with the c o l l e g e ’s mission of diversity and the new theme of “Think Wide Open,” said Gershenson in a recent interview. She said that the goal is to be more supportive of the transgender and LGB community and to help move our “Gay SUNY” up in the rankings of gay-friendly col- leges. ter, upperclassmen regularly double major in a Under the new system, proposed to Faculty and Budget different field or drop the major altogether. Residence Life on Tuesday, students who want Leave Creative Despite having five members in the gender-neutral housing will apply with a roster BoS, the core curriculum is taught by the just like any other students seeking housing. Writing Students in Creative Writing program’s two full time faculty While it would be acceptable for people within Tug-of-War members, director Catherine Lewis (fiction) the apartment to have different genders, people and newly hired this year, Monica Ferrell (poet- within one bedroom would have to be of the By Adam Tyrrell ry) in classes Narrative Techniques, Poetic same sex. This does mean that heterosexual Techniques, Poetry I and II, and Fiction I and II, couples would be allowed to live in an apart- To an outsider, the Creative Writing respectively. Meanwhile, other BoS members, ment together—something that is bound to department is the “conservatory” of the Liberal Literature professors Naomi Holoch and Nina raise some eyebrows. However, gay couples Arts and Sciences. The only program in the Straus, teach irregularly offered classes like Art have always been allowed to room together School of Humanities to require a portfolio for of the Novella and Writing and the without question. And the same-gender bed- admission, some students spend their U n c o n s c i o u s . Professor Lee Schlesinger, room rule is designed to combat the troubles Purchase careers majoring in Literature or member of the Literature BoS since 1975, was that may arise from couples breaking up and Journalism hoping to gain entry, every semes- also a member of the Board, however, being stuck in the same room. ter sending in collections of poetry or prose for resigned early last Fall. Schlesinger’s depar- Mixed or non-gendered housing would be review by the Creative Writing Board of Study ture, for many students, marked a heavy blow completely optional and done on an apartment- (BoS). Most of them are rejected, the result of to the fledgling department. by-apartment basis. No freshman or transfer the program’s exclusive acceptance of 20+ stu- “He was the best part [of the pro- would be automatically placed in gender-neu- dents per academic year. Those who are gram],” said one anonymous CW student. tral housing. In fact, it would not even be accepted, though, quickly gain the insider per- Rumors circulated thereafter amongst allowed in the dorms, limiting access to upper spective. Far from the advertised “dynamic the student body that both Schlesinger and class students who are “more mature,” as context and community,” newly accepted Brenda DeMartini-Squires, director of the Gershenson put it. Creative Writing (CW) majors find themselves Learning Center and frequent professor of The GLBTU hopes that it would allow for a in a program in its infancy. With little commu- CW courses, actually left due to politics within more of that magic word—diversity—on cam- nication between academic years, an underad- the BoS itself, citing unconfirmed conflicts pus. Many queer people (or even people who vertized publication, and a skeletal curriculum with director Catherine Lewis as the cause. just don’t like living with members of their gen- that offers no more than six classes per semes- Continued on Page 9... Continued on Page 10...
I’ve Had it Wax On, Lestat With these Wax Off: Sucks... I N S I D E : Fuckin’ Dojo Closed Literally Snakes! know that approx 60% of the students are using our Purchase Students, services. Would we like more students to take advan- Established 2001 tage of these resources? Absolutely! The earlier stu- Founding Editor: Glen Parker Alumni Finding it Hard dents begin utilitzing the services, the more prepared to Land a Good Job they are, and less stressed about the job or grad school Chief Editors: search they generally feel. We always look to student to Bill Reese By Jessie Labarbera and Mattie Davitt help us spread the word about the valuable services, job Steven Tartick resources, and programs we offer to help boost the Assistant Editor: As an underclassmen the most common complaint numbers of students visiting the office." Emily Farrell I've heard from students reaching graduation (besides And for others, well, there are always alternate Office Manager: the bricks) is "I'm never going to get a job." Granted, the paths. Jesse Leher, who left in 2005 said, "I didn't use Mark Schroeder job market isn't the best for fleeing undergraduate col- career development at all. My roomate is also a L a yout Editor: lege students right now, it's especially hard for us Purchase drop-out. We both got jobs easily because Kaitlyn Sudol because most of the jobs associated with our majors we're confident and intelligent and don't fuck around Head Copyeditor: won't be posted on monster.com anytime soon. So, are and because we're white guys. We each get paid more Sable Yong you doomed to be trolling craig's list in your parent's than anyone we know our age as well, so that's sorta D i s t r i b ution Superv i s o r : basement forever? funny since we both dropped out." Robert Stewart-Rogers We all get the e-mails from Wendy Morosoff adver- Some Purchase alum don't fly far from the nest Graphic Design: tising for Resume Help days, Job after wrapping up their degrees. Nick Campagna Fairs, lectures on marketing art and Many staff positions at school are Sabrina Miller so forth, but how many students actu- filled by the throngs of Purchase Emily Stewart ally attend these, and do they even graduates. The current A s s i s t a n t Backpage Bitch: help? According to Morosoff, if used Dean for Student A ffairs, Jeff Lauren Raia properly, the resources availabe to Putman, was graduated with the Business Manager: students will help them find a job after Class of 1996 after serving many Alice Gullotta graduation. She said, "For upper positions with the Purchase Students' Writers: classmen we offer career counseling Union (now Purchase Student Graham Beekman and assistance with job search, grad- Government Association). His tenure Patrick Cassels uate school advisement and at Purchase never really ended after Mattie Davitt resources, resume writing and inter- graduating, filling various positions on Emily Farrell view prep, the Purchase JobScore his way to the one he currently holds. Lindsay Feldman on-line database for full time and part A current library staffer had a similar Jessie Labarbara time jobs and internships, alumni David Nora, Jr. experience. After working in the career panels, a comprehensive library as a student and graduating in Bill Reese resource library with employer contact Sue Ellen Rockcliffe 2002, the library offered her a permanent position that info and directories, a computer lab, and much more." she is still in. We even have teachers hailing from our Mark Schroeder We can't rely fully on the school to find jobs for us. Steven Tartick hallowed halls. Photography Professor Shah has a It's something we have to try for on our own. Hal Adam Tyrrell Bachelor of Fine Arts. Purchase definitely leaves its fin- Phillips, class of 2005, said "For me, it was really hard. gerprints on many of its students, and some are more Artists: But that's my fault, not Purchase's." When it comes to AHC then content to return its warm brickish embrace. the offices of Career Development, Phillips said, "I don't Jack Trades Despite all the recent advances in job search tech- The Propagandist even know what they do there. Coming out of Purchase, nology, seminars, career centers, the main point in find- I wanted to work in journalism, so talking to journalism Inquirerers: ing a job is to relentlessly get yourself out there and Patrick Cassels professors mattered more than talking to career devel- don't expect anything to fall in your lap. For a school Kaitlyn Sudol opment workers. Maybe career development is more with a journalism program, having one newspaper at Copy Editors: helpful to people who don't have a goal in mind." your annual job fair is a bit depressing. Even more so Patrick Cassels Like Hal, many students don't realize Career when after telling the nice old lady at the table that Allison Dvornek Development is even there [something will be inserted you're a senior, that "Oh, you'd be looking for a REAL Kristin Whitcomb here]..... Morosoff said, "From our graduate surveys we job then, I'm not really offering that." Ah, progress.
The Purchase Independent is a non-profit newspaper, paid for by the mandatory student activity fee. The Independent welcomes submissions from the readers. We are an open forum for campus issues and comments about T h e Independent’s coverage. We accept letters, arti- cles, comics, ads, and event listsings. The deadline for submissions to be consid- ered for publication in the following issue is Tuesdays at eight. After that, you must bribe us with candy. Publication of submissions is not guar- enteed, but subject to the discretion of of the editors. We prefer that submissions come to us elec- t r o n i c a l l y. Our e-mail address is: [email protected] Backpage quotes can be left in the Back Page box, a makeshift container nailed to the wall outside the Media Board Office, which is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Finally, no anonymous submissions will be considered. Instead, they will be fed to Snakes on a Plane... I have had it with these motha fuckin snakes!
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, ALL FACTS PRINTED ON SNAPPLE CAPS ARE TRUE. THE EYE MAKES MOVEMENTS 50 TIMES EVERY SECOND ON AVERAGE, A Karate Classes Places At Purchase Waxed-Off By Kristin Whitcomb By Patrick Cassels Our campus is made up of bricks. Get over In director John G. Avildsen’s 1989 mas- it! There are plenty of nooks and crannies here terpiece, The Karate Kid Part III, the sinister at Purchase to escape to when you’re tired of sensei of the Cobra Kai karate school is forced the endless brown expanse. I have to admit, I to close his dojo after the school’s crushing wasn’t really aware of the campus – I was con- defeat to the young Daniel LaRusso and his tent merely to wander between the dorms and trainer, Mr. Miyagi, in the first film of the series. the main buildings. Before this article, I’d never When he breaks the bad news to his fellow imagined all the hidden wonders of the place Vietnam vet and Cobra Kai owner Terry, the we call home nine months out of the year. deadly Black Belt vows revenge on LaRusso The Stood – Ok, so technically this is and Miyagi, constructing a sinister plot that made up out of brick, but how can you not count ends as three films’ worth of bloodlust are the Student Center as a Purchase treasure? unleashed in an violent montage of fists and The murals the free Street Fighter II (why is it crane-kicks that sprain as many souls as they that the one girl sucks? Chauvinism! But it still do ankles. rocks) and Tetris (best played while intoxicated, Similar have been the state events at as recently discovered), the beauteous pool Purchase College, whose own Cobra Kai tables, and the new Student Gallery. On any school was closed last week when mathemat- given day you can find free shows, cool people ics professor Marty Lewinter was ordered to or just sit in the random tent and do homework cease his unregistered karate classes in the and chill. Natural Sciences building, where the professor The Elephant Tree – I didn’t even know has given free Shotokan lessons to students where this was (past the Stood and the play- for the last 10 years. ground, near the Admissions building) until The mandate comes from President about a month ago, when a friend and I whiled Thomas Schwarz, who sent Lewinter an e-mail away a Sunday morning by paying homage to informing him the unauthorized lessons raised this behemoth of a tree. Carved with decades of they say is traditionally used for professional “basic legal issues” after a feature on the Purchase students’ memories and initials, I saw Thursday-night classes ran in the March 23 notices only. this tree without any plumage and resplendent edition of this newspaper. Schwarz, at any rate, says he knew of no in its nudity. I can just picture it changing Lewinter complied with the administra- hostilities between Lewinter and other profes- throughout the seasons. My only fear is that tion’s demand but responded in defense of his sors when deciding to suspend the Shotokan every time I walk over to chill, I’ll accidentally classes, citing their long-standing public classes. stumble upon people fucking. Granted, if you’re approval and safety. “I made the decision after reading the doing it outdoors, that’s your risk. “I have taught karate on campus for at Independent article and then consulting with The Mirror Tree – I’d heard so much about least 10 years without a single accident,” SUNY council,” said Schwarz. “I don’t know this that I was afraid that by the time I actually Lewinter said. “My teaching karate was got around to seeing it myself I would be let what hostilities with other faculty would have to approved by campus police... No one ever down. An unreasonable fear, as it turns out. The do with it anyway.” objected.” random shards of glass scattered on the tree President Schwarz told the Independent In a second letter to Lewinter, the presi- makes you wonder – who put these here? there were “enormous liability issues for the dent suggested possible solutions that would Why? To cause reflection, to remember a loved University, and classes can’t be held on college allow Lewinter’s classes to resume. one, to refract light and nature? It’s a beautiful property without permission.” “I have told him to speak with the Athletic mystery and a spot that everyone should check However, any Kung Fu film fanatic knows Director to see if it can be done through the out. all too well that the dismantling of a dojo is gym,” Schwarz said, “and to speak to the The Loop – What’s that you say? That rarely so simple. On the contrary, rage Student Government to see if they will sponsor paved ring that encircles the campus? Why on between rival students, senseis and schools it.” earth should a road be considered beautiful? often fuel the two hours’ traffic of their stage, Well, look at it like this –you get to travel around “It cannot go on as it is,” he added. and in this recent turn of events Lewinter sees the entire campus you adore so much (come Lewinter, who was “disappointed” with the the shadow of the professional, political and on, admit it, you do) and constantly discover personal quarrels between himself and his col- “curt” original memo, admitted he was “pleased new things. I like to walk it with a friend and leagues that in recent years have become the with Schwarz’s response.” catch up early in the morning or with my mp3 leitmotif of his tenure at Purchase College. Said Lewinter: “We’re taking Schwarz’s player in the afternoon, drinking in nature. I’m a “My philosophy has always made me advice and speaking to the gymnasium about country mouse, and sometimes seeing all this unpopular with certain students and faculty,” holding classes there. brick drives me bonkers so to see nature – even said Lewinter, whose own politics could be The civility of Lewinter and Schwarz near a paved road – brings a little happy happy described as more conservative than the aver- regarding the dojo indicate the Karate Kid-like joy joy to my heart. age member of the Purchase community. “My melee would be an unlikely resolution to the sit- The Hammocks – I can’t get enough of car and office door were vandalized recently. I uation, and that Lewinter’s classes could these things! What better way to spend a gor- had to file a report with the police.” geous spring day than with a good book, good resume in the near future. Nevertheless, the On the other hand, members of the facul- music, and swinging in the sun? Or get a pile of ty who requested anonymity due to the sensi- minor karate controversy has illuminated a friends and be that loud and obnoxious group tive nature of the situation claim that Lewinter larger one that, regardless of who’s to blame, that laughs way too hard and who you say you has, on more than one occasion, posted out- exists between Lewinter and other members of hate but deep down envy. spoken messages on the faculty LISTSERV— the campus community. The Upper Level of the Library – Maybe which But that’s an issue for the sequel. Continued on Page 10...
HUMAN BEING WILL SPEND 2 WEEKS KISSING IN HIS/HER LIFETIME SWIMMING POOLS IN THE US CONTAIN ENOUGH WATER TO COVER SAN FRANCISCO THERE DRAMA STUDIES PREVIEW: has a very twisted style of language and writ- Fashion Can’t Be ing.” All proceeds will be donated to T h e Purchased The Baltimore Cooley’s Anemia Foundation as well as The By Lindsay Feldman International AIDS Vaccine Iniative (IAV I ) . Waltz Sasitorn hopes for Waltz to be a favorite with By David Nora Jr. After ordering a large Ritazza latte with the Purchase audience as well as earn a large soy milk, you reach into your jam packed bag donation for the two foundations. to get out your green, yellow, and red tribute- “My expectation is, of course, to have a to-Bob-Marley wallet, and realize two things: In 1992 the American playwright, Paula good show, a good run. I want to make people Vogel, won an Obbie award for Best Play for 1) You loved rhasta themed accessories still understand why AIDS is important from a before the birth of Gwen Stefani’s line The Baltimore Waltz, a humorous and touching love aspect, from a care aspect, from a griev- tribute to her brother, who died of AIDS in L.A.M.B (she totally copied you!); 2) how the ing aspect, not just from disease and dying and hell are you going to pay for this much need- 1988. The play follows an elementary school a tragedy aspect,” said Sasitorn. “And also I t e a c h e r, Anna, who ed caffeine-infused beverage? You’re broke! am giving all the money to While you’re thinking about that, let me intro- acquires a mysterious ill- charity so I am trying to ness. Her brother, Carl, duce my next fashion topic, the college stu- raise as much money as I dent’s fave: CHEAP SHOPPING! whisks her away to Europe can. I have already started in search of a secret cure. Those who truly understand great fash- promoting the show off ion have all the thrift stores addresses of While Carl conducts cloak campus to different bene- and dagger routines to pro- Wesctchester County in their shiny silver factors, and so far I’ve Treos. There’s a great Salvation Army ten cure black market medica- raised before the show has tion, Anna indulges in all minutes away from school in Portchester, NY. even opened over $2000 It has three floors of heavenly filth. The bot- sensual pleasures as if dollars for the chairty, not each day is her last. In tom floor you should bypass unless you’re for the show. The show searching for the Teeange Mutant Ninja 2004 Kristen Johnston (3rd itself is coming out of my Rock from the Sun) and Turtles Movie on VHS. Hop your fashion- pocket.” enthused butt up those creaky brown steps to David Marshall Grant (The Sasitorn leads a stage crew Stepford Wives) performed floor number two. In the shoe section, almost that includes Amy Hall, as large as the bottom floor of Nordstrom, one The Baltimore Waltz as the stage manager; A l v e r o traveling siblings at the may come across great Ferragamo green Garcia, lighting designer; spectators, or a pair of Prada flats, great with Signature Theatre in New Rob Lechuga, sound York City. cutoffs and a mini for the upcoming seasonal designer; Christine A . warmth. All this for the whopping price of... I t ’s been two years Vartoughian, set designer; since the play was last per- seven bucks. Strut next door to the shoes and Shane Galligan, cos- and you’ll find the ultimate section, the dress- formed, and Wa l t z w i l l tume designer. dance again at the es. Yes, as with all thrift stores, you do come Sasitorn also leads a set of across a size twenty-two L.L. Bean Canvas Humanities Building theatre actors that includes Hillary at Purchase College under forest green dress every now and then, but Asbeck as Anna, Dan Reilly trust me, the amazement of Sailor, Ahoy Lady the direction of To s a p o r n as Carl, and T h e o d o r e “Tos” Sasitorn, senior drama studies and soci- Mini dresses and black seductress cat suits Nicholas as the Third Man, who interrupts will surely overshadow it. ology. Anna as 10 different characters throughout the Waltz was selected for an interdisciplinary After looping around the dresses, decid- play. ing on a butterfly-sleeved sequin Tunic, reas- senior project. According to Sasitorn, selecting With a stage crew and group of actors it was an easy choice because of its personal suringly worn next New Year’s, you’ll find the under Sasitorn’s direction and Paul Vogel’s section of Lingerie. I do not in anyway and theatrical connections to him. unique style of writing, the audience will be “I connected to this play because of the endorse the buying of used underwear. If you laughing and crying during the entire play, are desperately in the mood for some cheap whole idea of love of family and dealing with ill- according to Hall. ness. I grew up having to deal with being aen- skivvies, spring a buck and go to Target! I do, Performances will be held on Thursday, however, suggest stocking up on black, white, imic, which is why one of the charities that the March 30 at 8 p.m., Friday, March 31 at 8 p.m., money is going to is The Cooley’s Anemia and nude vintage slips. They look great under and Saturday, April 1 at 3 and 8 p.m. Admission a cut off Metallica T-shirt and a pair of Chakra Foundation,” said Sasitorn. “And I feel it’s just is $4 dollars for staff and students and $7 dol- a brilliant play because it is so different. I’ve (my very own line) hot legs (an avant garde lars for general admission. pants/tights combination). read a lot of “gay-drama” or “AIDS drama” and Seating is limited. For reservations call this one is very different because Paula Vogel After all of this intense shopping your 914-320-2648. arms will be killing you because, I am sorry to say, shopping carts are not an option. Chicks, bring your man upstairs another flight, and point him in the direction of the vintage-tees. Guys, this is an easy one for you. These vin- tage tees are categorized by color. Choose the one you love best and stock up. The more rocker, the better. Grab a couple of pair of beat up old Levis for those bad-ass feelin’ days. Gather all of this together and you’re done! You just got a whole new wardrobe for the price of...let’s see, cha-ching, twenty bucks!
IS AN AREA IN WEST VIRGINIA COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS BIG UGLY THE MONA LISA HAS NO EYEBROWS YOU BURN MORE CALORIES SLEEPING THAN YOU BROADWAY REVIEW: being adequetly explained. Lestat himself goes from a character straight out of Rent in the first act to an egotistical snob in the sec- Lestat ond. By the end of the show, he is back to a By Mark Schroeder and Steven Tartick sniveling wimp with a chip on his shoulder. All of these changes, mind you, happen offstage. Writers’ note: This review is based on a pre - The music in L e s t a t , provided by view performance, and the show may go Broadway veteran Elton John, is tragic in ways through revisions before it’s official opening it was never meant to be. John is ill-suited for night. Also, writing a review for a vampire- the Phantom-esque score, having previously themed musical gives us the chance to insert worked on light and bubbly shows. The score an endless barrage of cliché vampire puns. remains largely unmemorable, only having a We promise to keep those in the coffin to a p u l s e peaking when John reassumes his minimum. poppy persona. The lyrics by newcomer Bernie Taupin are at best boring, and at worst Poor Lestat. The popular character from Anne melodramtic and disastrous. The music only Rice’s Vampire Chronicles has had to endure brought the plot to a screeching halt, instead of so much through his everlasting life. First, he which we see Lestat’s transformation from projecting it further. was subjected to Tom Cruise’s portrayal of him mortal to card-carrying blood sucker. When a The performances in Lestat were largely in the film Interview with a Vampire. He then vampire feeds on one of the many Parisian vic- unremarkable, with the notable exception of had to deal with another awful portrayal next to tims, they are hit with an orange spotlight as Allison Fischer as the child-like vampire the actually-dead pop star, Aliyah, in Queen of video projections straight from “Are You Afraid Claudia. She easily steals the show with two the Damned. Most recently, his story was of the Dark?” fill the stage behind them. This numbers in the second act. The first, “I Want adapted for the Broadway stage in Lestat, cur- concept, while novel, simply doesn’t play. Also More” offers a much-needed boost of energy, rently in previews at The Palace T h e a t e r. contributing to the hamminess of the show are campy is it might be. Nothing brings a Though he was able to survive the previous the two vampiric suicides. Flames putter from Broadway audience to its feet more than a ten blows, the damage done by this dreadfully dull the stage as though they were from an over- year old girl singing about her desire for blood. musical might be the final stake through his charcoaled grill, as the actors pantomime a The number is soon followed by her ballad “I’ll heart last straw for this vampiric poster-boy. fiery demise while being lowered into the Never Have That Chance,” chronicling the dif- Lestat’s story, which spans numerous vol- stage. Though numerous other scenes of ficulties of being a 40-year old vampire in an umes in the popular Rice series, has been camp can be found, they pale in comparison adolescent body. The song gives the musical squeezed into two one-hour acts. The show are outnumbered by moments devoid of any version of Claudia a unique and touching take. opens with a scene that brought the camp-o- entertainment or energy. It’s too bad that the other characters, Lestat meter scale to a 10. Hunched over the carcass One would think that a stage filled with included, didn’t have such focused and compli- of a freshly-killed wolf, Lestat (played by Hugh murderous creatures would give the creative cated internal conflicts. Panaro), sings the laughable “Wolf Killer.” As team plenty of opportunities to mold a cohe- Had the creative team focused on Lestat’s he belts out about how killing this wolf has sive and interesting plot. Instead, they attempt challenges and gradual acceptance of an brought about a new, aggresive chapter in his to hit the bullet-points of Lestats history without immortal life, they could have created a unique life, the audience sat in disbelief, wondering if any consideration for a plot-arc, central con- night of theater. Instead, they have given us a a repeat of the 1989 flop Carrie was unfolding. flict, or character development. Any notable lifeless bland, never-ending long, and vain The camp remains throughout the first act, in changes in character happen abruptly, without obnoxious production that just plain sucks.
DO WATCHING TEEVEE THE AVERAGE KOALA SLEEPS 22 HOURS EACH DAY THERE ARE OVER 61,000 PIZZERIAS IN THE US THE STARFISH IS THE ONLY ANIMAL THAT CAN TURN ITS STOMACH INSIDE OUT. A ONE-DAY WEATHER FORECAST REQUIRES ABOUT 10 BILLION MATHEMATICAL CALCULATIONS. * SHRIMP CAN ONLY Moolaadé By Graham Beekman Ousmane Sembene is one of Africa's most acclaimed directors and novelists. Last semester I read and thoroughly enjoyed his book Xala. So when I found out his movie Moolaadé would be shown at the French Film Festival here at Purchase, I was anxious to see it. Moolaadé has similar underlying themes to his novel Xala: the effect that the modern world has on traditional African culture; this theme is applied to completely different topics. Moolaadé is about female circumcision or female genital mutilation, however one would like to refer to it. And while in Xala, Sembene is very critical of the modern influence on Africa, he sees value in it in Moolaadé. REBUILDING NEW ORLEANS: again,” warns Alan, “New Orleans is the only The main character in Moolaadé is Collé, a jazz scene in America. If jazz dies here, all the woman in a rural African village who is opposed Turning Up the musicians are ready to go to Europe, because to female circumcision, referred to as purifica- that’s the only scene left.” tion, and many years ago refused to allow her Volume in a City More than 60,000 musicians were dis- daughter to endure the ritual. Collé is apparent- placed in the aftermath of the hurricane and ly one of the only women in the village who Muted by Disaster many of those musicians’ instruments were opposes female circumcision, and the movie By Bill Reese destroyed when the floodwaters rose. Among begins with four young girls fleeing the “purifica- the evacuees was the Exchange’s owner, tion” ritual and asking Collé for refuge, which she Jimmy Glickman, who evacuated to Chicago provides using an ancient custom called The New Orleans Music Exchange, a while his house sat underneath 6 feet of water. Moolaadé, meaning “protection,” and while the worn-down blue and gray building, sits on the He returned to the city about a month later, and children remain in her compound they can't be corner of Magazine and Louisiana in the used money from the Katrina relief fund to taken. uptown section of the crescent city. Guitars, reopen the Music Exchange on October 15th. Collé's daughter, Amsatou, is suppose to amplifiers and drums are barely noticeable After negotiating speaker prices with a marry a young, rich man (and as far as I can tell through the fogged windows and thick black Mardis Gras float committee, he took the time one of very few males under 40 in the entire vil- bars which protect the merchandise from the to talk to me outside his store. lage, for some reason) who has a job in Paris. outside. The only real recognizable symbols “I’m dedicating the next year of my life to The man's father opposes the marriage because are two large cardboard signs which proudly getting music going again in this city,” he says Amsatou is not circumcised, although it's pretty declare the shop open for business. boldly. “We rewired a bunch of churches to get clear the young man doesn't particularly care. This business has become much more them ready for Christmas and installed their The men of the village decide that outside than a popular music boutique. As the only audio for no charge. On Thanksgiving we set influence is to blame for the dissent and confis- large music exchange currently open in New up speakers and entertainment so that people cate all the radios in the village, which also leads Orleans, the exchange is playing a pivotal role had someplace to go. This is the greatest to a scene at the end where the son’s big defiant in reviving the city’s vital musical culture, which country in the world, with the warmest people, moment to his father is when he tells him that has struggled to reestablish itself in the wake and we need to rebuild this great American he'll keep watching television. I am left with the of Hurricane Katrina. city.” amusing thought of the intellectual enlighten- Contrary to its rugged, defensive exterior, Both Jimmy and Alan agreed that more ment this village community shall receive from the inside of the exchange is buzzing with cus- has to be done about the city’s flood defenses watching Maury Povich. tomers. At least two dozen people have filled if people are ever going to return to New Although this movie had its good moments, this small store, testing out guitars and ampli- Orleans. Alan felt that the dilemma with the lev- I was not impressed with it. First of all, I found it fiers, picking up new reeds for trumpets and ees was a big reason that many New to be extremely preachy, which is even worse saxophones and renting out speaker systems Orleanians would not return to the city. when I already agree with the message; I don't to be installed on the floats for Mardis Gras. Jimmy agreed, “It’s a shame that every- think that culturally relative morals should One of the salesmen, a jazz drummer body is still waiting for the government… excuse blatant violations of human rights like named Alan, is one of the first people I can get because they want the city to come back, and female circumcision. a hold of on a busy Saturday afternoon in this city is going to come back. New Orleans My other major issue with this movie is that January. offers freedom and a sense of belonging.” it drags on and on, then suddenly jumps forward “We’ve been selling everything below list The physical destruction in many parts of at an unrealistic pace. The most unbelievable is prices… just so that musicians can play gigs,” New Orleans is nothing short of catastrophic, how quickly the views of all the women in the vil- Alan says, talking to me while helping a man and the effects of it will take years to reverse. lage change about female circumcision. One pick out guitars. “We know that if we take care However, the great people who work at the day, Collé is the only women who opposes it and of people now, they’ll pay us back later.” music exchange understand that it is more a few days later nearly every single woman in Everyone who works at the Music than buildings and structures that make up a the village is against it, and it's never explained Exchange understands the role that their busi- city. It is the people and the culture that truly what causes such a sudden change. There are ness is playing in the life of New Orleans’ give the city its identity. With jazz music such two incidents, a girl dying from the circumcision vibrant jazz culture. The biggest fear that many an important facet of the culture, it is no sur- and Collé being publicly beaten, but neither of of them have is that if the jazz scene falters in prise that Jimmy Glickman and his staff are these are uncommon in rural Africa or would be New Orleans, it will disappear completely. working so hard to turn the volume back up in seen as unique and cause such widespread defi- “If jazz goes away, it’ll never happen a city that still feels so eerily quiet. ance.
SWIM BACKWARD. * A TEN GALLON HAT HOLDS LESS THAN A GALLON OF LIQUID. * SMELLING BANANAS AND/OR APPLES CAN HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT. * THE AVER- THURSDAY FRIDAY Activists SPOKE-N-HEARD Sustainable Living Week A lyrical movement to EVENTS EVENTS Begins grogress change, knowl- edge and creativity Apollo Night, Relay For Life "Violence Against Women 9:30-11:45 Big House PAC Pepsico Theater Student Center Hurts" Lounge 8:00 pm Artist and Performer Triac Showcase TUESDAY Purchase Environmental Mabus Submissions: 11 am - 1 pm EVENTS Activists Dactyl Viewing: 1-4 pm Hazel Rowley Petition at CCS 12-2 pm, Rising Up/Rising Down Philosophy Discussion CCN 5-7 pm Food Co-Op 8:00 pm CLUBS 6:30 pm WEDNESDAY CLUBS Purchase Environmental Art Club , Co-Op 9 pm Activists Petition CLUBS GLBTU, CCS 0037, 10 pm CCS 12-2 pm, Yearbook Committee, PSGA Senate Meeting, CCN 5-7 pm Alumni/Affiliate Lounge 9:30 HU 1072 12 pm Comic Book Liberation pm PSGA Finance Committee, Army, SATURDAY PSGA Civic Actions CCN 1012 4:30 pm Student Center 7 pm Committee, CCN 1012 CLUBS 12:30 pm Anime Club, Fireside O.A.P.I.A., CCN Basement X-Stream Generation Lounge 9pm 10 pm CCN 003 9 pm PUSH, CCN 0014 10 pm SUNDAY Hillel, CCN 0024 9pm Root Beer Club. Student COCOAS Meeting , Center, 9 pm EVENTS Whitson’s 5-6pm. Financial Pre-Med Club, NS 1002 Proposals Due! 12:30 pm EMIT, HU 1021 10:30-12:00 Marianna Healy am Senior Horn Recital Independent Meeting, CCN Psychology Club, NS 0029 Music Building 1011 7 pm 12:30 pm PSGA General 6:00 pm PTV, CCS 0026 10:30 pm Programming Committee, Latinos Unidos, CCN 007 CCN 1012 5:30 pm MONDAY 10 pm Film Society, CCN 10 pm 1:30 pm Independent Writer’s EVENTS Media Services Board Meeting Meeting, CCN 1011, 10-11 pm Purchase Environmental CCN 1011 7:30 pm Fall 2006 Activists Online Registration P S G A Major Events Natural Science 0029 Indonesian National Begins at 8:00 AM Committee CCN 1012, 8 pm Do-It-Yourself Day, SPOKE-N-HEARD Amaze Your Family! Purchase Environmental W.H.E.N. CCN 0012, 10 pm See Monday
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However, when interviewed, Schlesinger attrib- While he would not officially divulge what uted his departure to personal issues and a those reasons are, students, who wish to keep Share it With “difference in ideology,” in terms of the major’s their names anonymous, suspect it is elitism on Sue Ellen direction, between him and the rest of the BoS. Lewis’s part, and not financial reasons, for why According to Schlesinger, the Creative the program is exclusive. One example of this By Sue Ellen Rockcliffe Writing major emerged alongside Journalism elitism, they claimed, is in regard to the cre- and Cinema Studies, as a way to increase ation of the Submission, a current student pub- enrollment and retention in the Liberal Arts and lication that was presented to Schlesinger last Dear Sue Ellen, Sciences. They were meant to attract stu- year for approval by the BoS. dents who were not appropriate for the conser- Katie Reilly, senior Creative Writing and I'm having a serious problem. As you vatories, but still wanted to pursue the arts. current co-editor of the Submission, was know, it's advising week. Not only do I need to The BoS’s agreement with the College was scheduled to be the Fiction editor of the CW choose classes for next fall, but as a sopho- that as these programs were successful, they publication, Italics Mine, a magazine whose more, I am expected to declare a major by the would be “paid back for their success” in production is a part of the class Editing and end of term. Naturally, I went to the Advising appropriate financial support. And while the Production Workshop. However, when Reilly Center for help. On my way in, I was greeted by Creative Writing department expanded slightly approached Lewis about the CW program a tall, debonair boy with sun-kissed hair. in the beginning due to a grant by Lilly Port, its endorsing the Submission, Lewis was appre- Though he tried to assist me, I could not hear leaden development in years since can be hensive. him because I was transfixed in his eyes. attributed to the College’s lack of budgetary “She didn’t think I could handle being both When his rosebud lips stopped moving, I expansion. Fiction editor [of the Italics Mine] and editor-in- thanked him for his assistance, and walked The response to the program’s lack of chief [of the Submission] at the same time,” away in a daze. Unfortunately, I didn't get any funds is what, according to Schlesinger, Reilly said. As a result, Reilly stepped down assistance because I was too distracted by his spurred the ideological divide within the Board from her editor-in-chief role, and the good looks and charm. Now it's crunch time, of Study. On one hand, the Journalism pro- Submission was created without the BoS’s and not only do I still not have a major, but I gram, started around the same time as CW blessing. have a major jones for this boy. Sue Ellen, what and with a similar budget, has opened its intro- While the personal reasons behind do I do? ductory classes to any student interested. S c h l e s i n g e r ’s resignation are left to rumor The intent, and result, has been that with amongst the student body, the concerns stu- Allured in Alumni enlarged numbers in enrollment, the College dents have about the future of the CW program has allocated the Journalism department an were addressed by Humanities Dean Jonathan increased budget. Schlesinger agreed with Levin in an interview last week. Dear Allured, this approach, citing the original mandate of “We do have programs that would be big- the CW program was to be an art program anti- ger if we could support more students,” Levin It is no surprise to me that you have a thetical to the conservatory model. said, acknowledging the financial bind that all crush on an employee at the Advising Center, “We complained about the lack of access Humanities programs are under due to the as they come from hearty stock. However, it is and then created a program that mirrors those state budget. While the claim for more money usually Stephanie or Bryan that people have problems,” Schlesinger said, suggesting that is competitive amonst all of the departments, crushes on, not the boy to whom you are refer- entrance into the CW program shouldn’t be Levin conceded that “strong enrollment shows ring. This question has a two-part answer. In exclusive, and that more classes for non- need,” and that the CW program should terms of your new infatuation, I regretfully majors should be offered. “expect a new [full-time faculty hiring] within the inform you that this young lad is spoken for by In contrast, director Catherine Lewis has next five years.” a lovely young woman, much like yourself, I am taken a more conservative approach to the Further changes, Levin mentioned, follow sure. As for your academic advice, I recom- program’s finances, choosing instead to limit the recommendations made by an external mend that you return to the Advising Center enrollment and focus existing money on class- review team of Columbia and City College pro- and request to speak with either Bryan or es, while courting outside donors to dedicate fessors late last Fall. The first step will “proba- Stephanie, as to prevent further distractions in money to events like the Durst Family Fiction bly be the elimination of the Creative Writing for your pursuit for a major. Thanks for sharing! and Poetry series. Although currently on sab- Non Majors class,” in favor of an introductory batical, when questioned last semester, course that is open to the entire student body; Love, Sue Ellen Professor Lewis said that she’d like to have the idea being that advanced course offerings more classes, but money is the primary imped- in CW will be based on portfolio. While not iment. solving the lack of classes, Levin assured that This was supported by professors Naomi “the Creative Writing curriculum is the subject Holoch and Nina Straus in an interview, where of conversation” and hopefully private donors Dear Sue Ellen, they denied Schlesinger’s claim that there was will help support the hiring of adjunct profes- an ideological issue on accessability. Straus sors in the department. What's your deal? stated, “if we could have a lot of different Professor Monica Ferrell, the program’s [courses] and professors we would; the prob- second full-time faculty member, referrred to Nosey in the New lem is the college was pushed to start the pro- her own teaching of Poetry I and II as a way the gram without any dedication of funds.” program could dispell its “core of sameness.” In defense of the admissions process, Although the program can not feasably at this Dear Nosey, Straus added, “We’d be in more trouble, but stage offer classes based on a range of topics, we’re doing okay with the portfolio program.” Ferrell has been differentiating her poetry Who put you up to this? Was it Steven Both Holoch and Straus were surprised to classes by reinforcing techniques in Poetry I, Tartick? I will not even dignify this question with hear “personal issues” were a factor in and teaching the “theory of cohesion” in creat- a proper response. Tell Steven to buzz off. Schlesinger’s resignation. Holoch thought ing a book of poetry in Poetry II. Schlesinger’s absence in Board meetings were F e r r e l l ’s participation in the program Love, Sue Ellen due to his “heavy load in Literature,” and while shows a progressive approach. In particular, Schlesinger agreed that might have been a there was discussiong on how to expand the factor, the actual reasons are more complicat- Continued on Page 10...
AGE HUMAN EATS 8 SPIDERS IN HIS/HER LIFETIME WHILE SLEEPING. * THE FIRST TEEVEE SHOW EVER TO BE PUT INTO RERUNS WAS THE LONE RANGER. * “Housing” from Front Page... having mixed-gender housing is just asking for der) decide to live off campus to avoid the com- an increase in sexual harassment suits. plications of housing. However, at other colleges with gender-neutral Brought to you by Transgendered student Rayden Sorock housing this has not proven to be the case. Sable Yong said that he had to go through a process in “It’s an outdated system that says that Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) This week is the perfect time order to room with a male friend this semester. boys can’t be trusted with girls,” said Sorock. to take inventory of what has no doubt been neglect- ed for quite some time. Like all of those rivaling “I had to talk to John Delate in order to “I wish they had it when I was going here,” Facebook groups. What ever happened to solidarity? explain why it was okay for an F to be with an said graduating senior Rob Lechuga. “I never M,” he said. “The process itself wasn’t difficult, wanted to live with a guy.” Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) It will benefit you to per- but it made me feel like a total exception.” He The proposal is modeled on the system at ceive your dreams as they are in their literal form this thinks that people should just be allowed to live Bridgewater State College in Massachusetts. week. Those kooky events that plague your uncon- with who they’re comfortable living with. He Many other colleges including Sarah Lawrence scious hold more value than is expected—that is noted that his girlfriend opted to live off-cam- College, Harvard University, We s l e y a n unless they are just forgotten 5 minutes later. pus because she didn’t have any female U n i v e r s i t y, Ithaca College, Ohio State Gemini (May 21-June 20) As is the premise of friends whom she wanted to live with. University and dozens more offer some form of Gemini, the cosmos will inverse your week with dual- “Housing should be about options,” put in gender-neutral housing to students. i t y. Are you your own evil twin? Interchange accord- Gershenson. While President Thomas Schwarz does ingly to best suit your incoming challenges, whatever The GLBTU’s hope is that gender-neutral not take a specific stance on the subject, he they may be. housing would attract more people to the cam- does say that he thinks “this is an issue that pus, rather than deterring them. And not just students should control with guidance from Cancer (June 21-July 22) Being under the sign of from horny high school boys. people like John Delate with the expectation the crab, most Cancers possess an inherent appre- hension of sharing their astrological namesake with a “There’s an interest from prospective stu- that that there should be choices and opportu- disease. What this means is only that cancers have dents and their parents for gender-neutral nities for all students' points of view.” the ability to thrive in and conquer their surroundings. housing,” said Michael Umile who works as a At press time Residence Life was still And that’s kind of cool. tour guide for admissions, noting that he has reviewing the proposal and was unable to com- been asked about many GLB issues on cam- ment. If they do approve it, “pilot apartments” Leo (July 23-Aug 22) A world without skepticism pus including gender-neutral bathrooms (which will be formed to gauge how gender-neutral makes for a very interesting week for you, Leo. While the GLBTU successfully had installed this housing will go over at Purchase. Hopefully we succumbing to gullibility seems a distasteful alterna- semester). can prepare ourselves for the first all gay tive, it doesn’t have to be if ignorance truly is bliss. This is the week to find out. People are voicing concerns saying that sorori-frat coming this fall.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22) The only way for you to be “Places” from Page 3... sculpture used to be where all the cool kids grace under fire this week, Virgo, would be for you to I’m just saying this because I’m a bookworm, were. Too bad it’s stuck way out in the front of make close friends with a wet blanket. Sticks in the but to me there are very few things nicer than campus now. I’ve heard several stories about mud are slightly less effective, yet make for a decent rows and rows of books and curling up on the the Moore, which vary. It’s either: two sheep, a c r u t c h . couches. Unless it’s Natalie Portman in that representative of Stonehenge, phallic symbols, thong she wore for Closer. his wife got spinal cancer and one is a healthy Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) There is massive redecora- The Random Sculptures Around Campus vertebrae and one is unhealthy, and ear tion in your future, Libra, for cosmic alignment has – You know how you’ll just be walking around canals. Whatever it is, it’s big and random and you realize how your static surroundings hinder any potentially budding creativity as well as future visitors. and BAM! There’s a random piece of art? One completely Purchase. of the best things about Purchase. Every week The Woods in General – Right now, the Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) The truly timeless requires I seem to stumble upon a new sculpture. My woods look a little like The Village – all scary just one aspect: unanimous agreement. In determin- personal favorite is the one near the front of and bare limbs. But spring has sprung, and ing what you deem to be timeless, consider how it fits campus. It looks a bit like a beehive. Or a turd. soon they will be all gorgeous and green. Just in with your week and just how significant an impact Or an egg. I have absolutely no idea what it is, take a Saturday to wander through, and you it has. You may be disappointed or pleased with the who built it, and why it’s there. And that’s what won’t be disappointed. Just avoid the skunks. trends you find. I love about it. And the mutants. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) This week you’ll find The Henry Moore Sculpture - I hear that So Purchase, for all of its brick and bor- yourself searching out all things adorably cute and when it used to be where the future Student ing landscape, really has a unique sense of c u d d l y. This may very well be just a front for the urge Services building will be (I always hear con- beauty and there are plenty of places to hide to crush things in overzealous embrace or eat such struction, but I never see any change…) that away from the skunks. And the mutants. things up with spoons. Find an outlet for these decep- tively violent yearnings. “Creative Writing” from 9... being proactive in communicating concerns program outside of the classroom through openly, and by creating things that will aug- Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Complaining doesn’t get extended exercises in class, communication ment what is already being offered, whether it you very far. Nagging gets you closer. And when all over Blackboard and the newly created writing be a writing circle or a literary magazine. As else fails, getting what you truly want may require some form of manipulation or bullying. Unless what circle, Duende. Organized by Danniel Schlesinger remarked at the end of the inter- you want is for people to like you. Jerk. Schoonebeek, sophomore creative writing, the view, ultimately you “learn to write is by writ- writing circle has met several times in the ing.” Aquarius (Jan 20- Feb 18) ”I know kung fu.” T h e s e Creative Writing room and has been ardently are the words of Keanu Reeves’ character in the supported by Ferrell. Matrix. Their significance to you is in that it brilliantly While Creative Writing majors have rea- D u e n d e illustrates a modern pop-cultured approach to the son to be disappointed by the lack of classes, canonized phrase, “Eureka!” This week, create your own form of this idiom of astonishment. the simple fact is that there is not a singular a st udent w ri ti ng ci rc le reason that can be protested or petitioned. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) People often theorize that Schlesinger wasn’t “kicked out,” as one CW D r. Seuss makes metaphorical allusions to adult student said. The resignation came from “pol- Wednesda ys a t 7pm themes. Dr. Freud often makes themes about adult icy decisions that reflect funding issues,” said in t he Cre ati ve Writ ing Lo unge allusions. Which philosophy do you endorse, and fur- Schlesinger. ( H U M 2 0 2 6 A ) thermore, how does it make you feel? The only way to not be disheartened is by
BLACKBOARD CHALK CONTAINS NO CHALK. * "TSIOLOGY" IS ANYTHING WRITTEN ABOUT TEA. * THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WILL EAT 35,000 COOKIES DURING The Independent
Purchase’s Only Weekly Satire Source ISSUE 110
Purchase Student First Person to Like Donnie Darko By Puck Bransen
Purchase College residents were shocked Monday to learn one of their fellow students has been a fan of the popular film Donnie Darko since before the movie was cool. Anthony O’Donnell, 18, who entered Purchase last Fall, has told friends, professors, and pretty-much anyone who’ll listen that he fell in love with the science-fiction film during its ini- tial limited release in October 2001, when the takes place in mid to late January. picture was still relatively unknown. Snakes on a Plane "Many people feel the Academy has “The world needs to know that I’ve been become 'uncool,’" said Donald Feinstein, an an ardent supporter of this movie since the get- Sweeps Ocsars accomplished producer who sits on the go,” said O’Donnel. “I was singing its praises By Mortar Fairtape Academy's Board of Governors. "Especially before all these hypocritical philistines jumped after that whole Brokeback Mountain fiasco. on the Donnie Darko bandwagon.” Movie fans and critics alike were shocked This is our chance to jump on the bandwagon, The announcement had far-reaching this week by the announcement that the new to prove that we're just as 'hip' and 'with it' as effects throughout Purchase. Many students Samuel L. Jackson thriller, Snakes on a Plane the young people who are showing more and were impressed by O’Donnel’s long-standing has already been nominated for fifteen more disdain for our organization every day." devotion to the film. Academy Awards. Not everyone is as enthusiastic about the “Mr. O’Donnel’s foresight in becoming a "It's clear to us that Mr. Jackson and the Academy's new approach to winning over their Donnie Darko enthusiast so early is representa- film's producers have nobly set out to make audience, however. Many movie buffs were tive of his remarkable taste in cinema and his motion picture history," said A c a d e m y shocked by yesterday's announcement. role as a herald of popular culture,” said film President Sid Gaines. "Who cares what else "I mean, I guess I can understand the professor Jon Rubin. “He’s esoteric.” comes out this year? We all know that the nomination for Best Picture and Best In addition to Donnie Darko, O’Donnell movie that's going to remain at the forefront in S c r e e n p l a y,” said movie blogger Ti m o t h y says he was an early fan of such films as High our minds and hearts is Snakes on a Plane." Rodgers of ThisMovieBlows.Com, “but I really Fidelity and the Evil Dead franchise. He also When asked to elaborate on his opinions don’t think Samuel L. Jackson can be nominat- recalls being the first person to watch The regarding the picture, Gaines added, "I honest- ed for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Rocky Horror Picture Show in drag and to make ly haven't seen the movie yet. But, like, every Actress, Best Sound Direction, and Best Song. a gay joke about the Academy Award-nominat- blogger on the internet is talking about it, so it I hear he even got nominated for Best ed Brokeback Mountain. must be good. Plus, it's got that kid from Good Documentary! How is that even possible?” O’Donnell’s claims have become the sub- Burger. He's a riot!" “Although,” Rodgers admitted, “my money ject of great debate by Purchase pundit and The nominations for Snakes on a Plane is definitely on this movie for the award for Best veritable “scene kid” Adrian Hollig, who claims are an unprecedented event. Never before Use of Snakes on a Plane.” to be the first person to have bought a Strokes have a single picture's nominations been Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. record, and recalls an evening in Crossroads announced individually, and prior to the usual Jackson, opens in theatres everywhere late where he witnessed O’Donnell watch the film Nomination Press Conference, which generally this August. for the first time. “He was like, ‘I don’t get it, is the rabbit from the future, or is it that guy, and how come we didn’t get to see Drew Barrymore’s tits?’” After taking much heat for his claims, O’Donnell has renounced his Donnie Darko position, citing an unhealthy number of death threats from existential film majors. Furthermore, O’Donnel says he wishes to be the first person to not like Donnie Darko, saying, and that he has discovered an new unknown gem called Sin City.
HIS/HER LIFETIME. * AND, BREAKING FROM THE THEME, APRIL 1ST IS APPLE'S 30TH BIRTHDAY. TURN UP YOUR ITUNES AND HAVE AN APPLETINI TO CELEBRATE. The reason you’re failing Chemistry, It’s the Indy
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Watching you get those munchies made me laugh, This is not a comment. AA: We keep tampons in the drawer now. A LOT
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THE OLDE WAS CONDEMNED BY PROFESSIONAL CONTRACTORS IN You know what sucks? The bastard THE 90'S child hanging off your nip? DiCicco Brothers Unicornery The post below is a off of Route I-13 Jeff Stein is a stupid-head Passiac, New Jersey damn dirty lie P u t A L i d O n I t CBLA video game tournament coming this Sat in the Commuter Lounge Sm ok e ya doo b Hub Steve: Hi, welcome to Purchase land, t hrou gh a t u be ! Purchase was built by the ride won’t stop until you get off, so the 3rd little pig. may I take your order? A good guest knows the difference “Never have I ever between the shower curtain and the “Do you girls hear yourselves with your hee haw and your hoo ha?” fucked a pussy.” toilet paper, Mike. “Does your own count?” www.flipjob.net “Cause inside you’re ugly, ugly like She hooked up with seafood in the meat Because they never told us not to Benny!”