May/Jun 2016

ISSUE 107 MAY/JUNE 2016 www.familieswest.co.uk Families West · PO Box 32231 · London W5 1JR · Tel: 020 8930 4707 · Email: [email protected] Learning through play the Little Stars way… Little Stars is a new independent day nursery providing childcare that meets the need of each individual child and their family. We understand th at the im portance of t he earl y years in a child’s general development cannot be over-emphasised. Little Stars Nursery opened on 7th September 2015, providing childcare for 2-5 year olds between 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday. For more information plea se feel free to contact us at: [email protected] Tel: 020 8896 9500 Holy Family Parish Hall · Vale Lane · London W3 0DY www.littlestarsealing.co.uk Why not promote YOUR news in our News & Views section? Please contact us at: [email protected] THE GRUFFALO ‘MOUSE’ ILLUSTRATIONS COPYRIGHT © AXEL SCHEFFLER 2 Families West PO Box 32231 London W5 1JR May/June 2016 In this issue news & views News & Views Page 3 Parenting Page 4 Super Camps Parties Page 5 The school summer holidays are a time for children to Education Page 10 have fun whilst keeping active in body and mind. Super Clubs & Classes Page 12 Camps offer a range of camps and courses for all ages, Festivals Page 13 from multi-activity, bake-off, cooking, science and raw What’s On in West London Page 14 adventure to suit everyone! They have just received yet another 'Outstanding' Ofsted rating in 2016. Classified Section Page 19 Camps run from 8am - 6pm for ages 4-14. Call 01235 467300 · www.supercamps.co.uk Excellent offers to senior schools Well done to Clifton Lodge School pupils in year 6 and 8 who have received excellent senior school offers. Year 8 pupils are going to John Lyon, St James’s, St Benedict’s, Shiplake College and one pupil has gained an academic scholarship at Merchant Taylors. Year 6 boys’ offers included City of London, Hampton, St Benedict’s and St James’s. Girls at Clifton Lodge were offered places at Godolphin & Latymer, Notting Hill & Ealing High School, St Helen’s, St Augustine’s (including an academic scholarship), King Edwards,Prior’s Field and Radnor House. Pupils also gained places at highly selective grammar schools, one place at Tiffin, RGS High Wycombe and Herschel Grammar. Clifton Lodge internal academic scholarships have also been offered to two existing Year 6 pupils. · www.cliftonlodgeschool.co.uk May/June 2016 Families West PO Box 32231 London W5 1JR 3 parenting The 7 most common parenting mistakes L ike many new parents , we can’t ‘hear’ us anymore. When our assumed th at we would ‘instinctively’ children are in ‘fight or flight’ mode, know how best to raise our own we can get angry at them and shout children, after all doesn't parenting come until we are ‘blue in the face’, but the naturally? How wrong we were! We message still will not get through, so all both had very different parenting styles the lecturing typically done in these and couldn’t agree on the best way to circumstances is a waste of energy! If raise our children to make them they do comply with our requests, it will responsible and self-disciplined. only be out of fear and it will have very We discovered that we were making little impact on helping to improve their plenty of mistakes without even behaviour in the long-term. realising it and that most people around Over-protecting: in this day “All children require a more balanced and consistent us were also falling into the same and age, parents are becoming approach to parenting, and all have emotional needs that common parenting pitfalls. In fact 3 more anxious and over-protecting is our responsibility as parents to fulfil .” between the two of us, Carole and I children. By over-protecting them, we have made every common parenting as a means of avoiding any future prevent them from making enough Long term effects: mistake on the list below (and still do punishment. mistakes, which if handled well, are Whether we are too strict or too lenient, from time to time!). So our objective is to neither approach is effective for raising invaluable opportunities for learning. Reassuring children: it seems help increase your awareness of the our children to become resilient and Although protecting our children and like a natural thing for parents to effect that such mistakes can have on 5 autonomous adults in the long-term. stopping them from making mistakes want to reassure their children, by telling your children, so that you can identify If we ‘over-protect’ them, we are not may sound like a positive thing, we are them that everything is going to be areas where you might want to improve allowing them to make mistakes or in fact inadvertently denying them the okay. For example, if they happen to your skills and continue along your par - experience frustration and if we are opportunity to learn from their mistakes break their favourite toy, it’s a common enting journey with a renewed sense of being overly strict and getting angry at and take responsibility for their own reaction to want to ‘swoop in’ and try to confidence. them, we are not modelling the fact actions. We are also preventing them reassure our children and ‘fix’ the prob - Here are seven of the most that we can control our own emotions from building their ‘frustration’ muscle lem for them, so we may say “I hate to common mistakes that loving through our own behaviour towards by not allowing them to face difficult see you so upset because you broke parents make: them. emotions such as anger and your favourite toy, don’t worry, I will buy We may only see the effects of our Over-praising and using disappointment. you another one”. We may think that we mistakes later on when our children positive reinforcement: are helping by doing this, but the reality 1 Punishing: although we must become adolescent, by which time it is Using phrases such as ‘good boy’ and is that we are not allowing children to make our children accountable for much harder to repair any damage that’s ‘good girl’ and praising everything 4 deal with their feelings. Children need their actions, there are far more effective already been done. children do well to reinforce their good to be given opportunities to practice ways of achieving this than resorting to behaviour is a very common trait. patience and get used to experiencing punishment and fear tactics, particularly So what can we do about Unfortunately, using such ‘evaluative feelings of sadness and frustration as if the punishment is corporal. Research this? praise’ and descriptively praising every this will help to prepare them for the shows that children who are regularly What we must remember is that all good behaviour is a form of reward that pressures of adult life. punished will only comply with their children require a more balanced and they will come to expect as motivation parent’s instructions and requests out of Discounting children’s feelings: consistent approach to parenting, and to want to do things in the longer-term. fear, so the effect is only short-term. 6 for example, by using phrases such all have emotional needs that is our Getting Angry and shouting: In the long-term, punishment not only as “Come on, it’s not that bad”, “Only responsibility as parents to fulfil. 2 When we raise our voice or yell at damages the relationship and connec - babies cry” or “Boys don’t cry”. That’s why it’s so important to try to our children, this puts them in ‘fight or tion we have with our children, but it Discounting our children’s emotions in avoid these common pitfalls, in order to flight’ mode - this is the body’s response can also cause them to become resentful this way can create serious anxiety in the maximise our child’s chances of growing to stress, which means that their logical towards us and increasingly aggressive, long-term, because it can cause them to up to be a responsible, self-reliant and brain shuts down and they essentially and in many cases, they will learn to lie become unsure of themselves and dis - happy adult. trustful of their own emotions. Being a tiger parent: tiger 7 parents tend to be pushy and have Written by Carole & a strong focus on achievement and Nadim Saad, authors academics. This style of parenting has of ‘Kids don’t come become increasingly prevalent over the with a manual .’ last decade and some children may react Carole & Nadim have discovered positively to it and excel academically. far better alternatives to yelling/shouting, However, other children may end up getting angry, rewarding, punishment being ‘crushed’ by it and be affected for etc. You can find more information the rest of their lives. There is a wealth about it all in their book; of scientific research and anecdotal ‘Kids Don’t Come With a Manual - The Essential Guide to a Happy Family Life’ evidence to suggest that this can lead to at: www.bestofparenting.com serious anxiety for children and that they usually end up unhappy. 4 Families West PO Box 32231 London W5 1JR May/June 2016 Seven party themes kids will LOVE! parties Parties can go with a swing if you choose a theme your little ones can have fun with. From fancy dress costumes to themed plates, cups and decorations, here are some great ideas for a themed children’s party.

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