Office of Student Affairs
2008-4-01
A Modest Proposal, vol. 4, no. 6
Jonathan Coker, et al.
© 2008 A Modest Proposal
Find more information about this article here. This document has been made available for free and open access by the Eugene McDermott Library. Contact [email protected] for further information. T H E ~- ALTE RN ATIVE UTD STUDENT PUBLICATION
As Article 2 ofth e Bill ofRights remains open to interpretation, we debate the pros and cons ofgun ownership page 12 w 0 No Butts About It Ihe J:Misnomer ofDarwinism Best of the Coen Brothers Vl z Why UTD should reject Evolutionary biology Their top five 0 a proposed camp1.1s-wide Vl isn't Darwinism! page 9 movies page 16 ..J smoking ban page 3 ·· <
A P R I L 2 0 0 8 • V 0 L U M E 4 • I S .s. U E 6 • A M P . ~ T.Q. -"\ L L A S • E D U 2 CoNTENTs • APRI L 2008 • VoLuME 4 • I ssue 6
In Ibis Issue. J 2 Handguns in Society Point-Counterpoint BY CHRIS KRAILO AND CAMPUS L I FE LISSETTE VILLARRUEL
No Butts About It A RTS & LEISURE 3 UTD should reject campus-wide smoking ban. BY GRACE BIELAWSKI 14 The Spin Cycle AND DINA. SHAHROHKI April brings showeC$ of new records Art Apart BY JORDAN YOUNGBLOOD 4 UTD offers a variety of high-quality art; The Menu now it needs the audience. This month, Cappuccino Bistro BY ALEX GARCIA TOPETE BY BRADY SPENRATH Viewing Water in Waterview Best Movies Ever: The Coens s· to Waterview should improve landscaping deal A look back at these brothers' best work with torrential rains. BY JOHN HARDING BY BENEDICT VOlT 6 Give Campus Life a Sporting Chance Join in on UTD's lntramurals GLOBAL POLITICS BY LIAM SKOYLES Colombia vs. Venezuela SOCIAL C OMMEN T ARY The confl.ict viewed as a movie review BY ALICE POST 'Rethinking American Poverty 7 Why we shouldn't dismiss the homeless in America Let The Games Go On BY STEP HANIE SHASTEEN China and Tibet's fighting may tarnish the upcoming Olympic Games 8 Our £-Wasteful Society BY ALEX GARCIA TOPETE Electronic waste is piling up. BY LAURA MILLER SHAMELESS FRIVOLITY The Misnomer of D arwinism 19 9 Creationists maliciously label the science · G uide to a Zombie Attack of evolutionary biology "Darwinism" ~tiiit~f na 2~ og The proper role of government in dealing . BY RICHARD BADGETT J with this potential disaster! BY BEN DOWER 10 The Hidden Side ofMath Q..,'QS) There's more to it than just number crunching P uzzLES & GAMES BY NATE H.ANNON I I Constitutionally Confinned 20 Puzzles Page How the Second Amendment eatabliahes your individual right to beu arm• 22 The Uranus BY WEN FA C 8 M e U S ~--lo.....L...I.....__F ___E _____ 3
Why a campus-wide ban No Butts out It on smoking is a bad idea
by dina shahrokhi dms067 000@utdalla~. ed u
and grace bielawski [email protected]
We've all seen the cigarette butts littering campus. We all know that smoking harms those who have never even bought a pack. Coming from a tree bugger and a health nut, we both understand why people dislike smoking on campus. However, we are also practical. A campus wide smoking ban is unreasonable. With the inability to enforce the rules that are already in place, Even dlough the uniY'I!rsity porn notices about which forilid smoking within t'llo'ef1ty-fiote feet of a building. it has placed the ciga.re1;Ie receptacles how can we expect smokers to follow a much closer rhan their own regulation would allow. Photo .by Bene UTD offers a variety of high-quality art; now it needs the audience artists that can handle science; if by students possible, those who show and chance someone turns out to be a Da those who serve as audience. Vinci, all the better. However, the unfortunate side of Art is simply the harder field to the matter is that although UTD is a by alex garcia topete promote. Scientific development can unjversity with thousands of enrolled [email protected] easily occur thanks only to a single, students, most events normally involve isolated scientist that gets recognized by less than a hundred. Audiences and a selected few, whereas artistk production participants are just scarce. What's even The human world is divided. It's split requires a broader audience to be fully worse, the srudents that do get involved between the material and the abstract, funcrioual and worthy. tend to repeat -- sometimes they are the which are more often called sciences and Without such an audience, any participants, other times the audience. arts. No one can debate that everything meaning conveyed or invoked by a piece of It is a shame, and maybe marvelous, "human" is related to one of these realms, art remains sterile, wasted, and restricted that even with the reduced, recycled if not both, in one way or another. What to the piece itsel£Just as an example, Da student popnlation for these events, some may argue, however, is that sciences Vinci's anatomical srudies needed only the UTD as a whole still strives to make are more important than· arts, since their endorsement of biologists and doctors to everything in the most professional and benefits ue more direct - namely more be branded as a scientific mHestone; but attractive way. Simply put, UTD's events, material and, after all, we do live in a 1he Last Supper wouldn't be the work of a such as concerts and e:xhibitious, imitate material world. genius if it didn't represent such grandeur major ones of their type. But arts help people understand to everybody besides learned artists. An example is the upcoming Cosmic their world beyond the theorems and Art needs to be showed. Unfortunately, Film Festival -- an opporrunity for any . the numbers of the hard sciences, or the proper exposition is one of UTD's aspiring filmmakers and performers to complex mechanics of the social sciences. worst weaknesses regarding its student show their work and get feedback from If the·sc iences answer the what and how produced art. Not only is the institution at an audience. And like many UTD events, of reality, then it's fair to consider that fault, though, the community altogether it will start out small with a few shorr arts answer the why behind them all. is to be blamed for this. films. But hopefully, small won't apply Science is about manipulating nature; art From UTD, what can be demanded to the audience; that is, if more students is adding meaning to narure. In a sense, is simply for it to provide opportunities than the regulars to Meteor Theater go to the abstract craziness of art helps keep for students to display their works. And the festival this next Aprilll"'. the track -- a humanistic one. in spite of not being the best possible, It's the start, and being this small UTD is no exception. In it, sciences these opporrunities do exist, regardless of means chat the festival can only get and arts meet, maintaining a neat balance. the specific discipline. Visual artists have bigger and better in the years to come, This preserves UTD as a reliable source for their chance in the form of exhibitions at when hundreds of students, rather than scientific development as well as for artistic the Barn, or as minor displays in other mere dozens, participate in the Cosmic production. After all, it's a university UTD spots. Musicians, dancers, and other Fum Festival. UTD's art environment (from Latin universitas, meaning "whole performers get their chance in events exists. Now it just nUnus tbu artiJI td m•,lltrk/L..,ttht!• A MoDEST PROPOSAL CAMPUS LIFE 5 Viewing Water in Waterview When getting wetjust isn'tfun rain. However, for the downpours that we often witness, these areas fill rapidly, overflow, and simply add debris and dirt picked up from these ditches to the by benedict voit flowing concrete-bottomed stream. benedict.voit@sh•dent.utdallas.edu .Let me be dear in the fact that I am not attempting to cast blame. Whether Never befi)re has the name Waterview Waterview did or did not have say in the been so appropriate. As you may recall, actual height of sidewalks is moot. The heavy rains marked the end of Spring construction was decades ago. However, Break. And boy did it rain. For over a Waterview does currently have the power day, the heavens opened, and although to correct the situation. the resulting water could be considered Two options are available: make the manna, in this case I'm not so sure. sidewalks higher, or make the surrounding I'll be the first to admit that my land lower. As the first option would planning for these occasional monsoon essentially ·involve rebuilding the ish days is not the most complete. My sidewalk network-which may result in umbrella was cheap when it came off more efficient pathways but require high the Wal-Mart shelf many a moon ago, costs-this leaves the management with and, pardon the pun, it hasn't weathered the second option. very well. At this point it acts more as a The easiest and most practical miniature shield which, without terrible approach to thls solution would be to winds, can be somewhat directed dig the current indentations deeper against the direction of the rain. It and make them real ditches. Further was with this, my rain coat, and other evidence that the current rivets do not protective clothing that I ventured out do their intended job can be seen by the The water flow in Phase Ill is convenient if you live atop the hill. Otherwise, be prepared. into the storm. repositioned wooden bridges that the Graphic Illustration by Benedict Voit While I had accurately prepared for rising tide has shifted. I thank Waterview I must ad.mlt that the sidewalks at appears. With nothing but concrete all the fact that falling rain would hit my (in all seriousness) for adding new present do at least funnel the water around, there may be no easy solution. upper body first (i.e. hold the umbrella wooden planks just this year. Perhaps it away from the apartments and into the I will concede that these projects over my head), I was not prepared for would be possible to dig slightly deeper parking lot, where at night it meets up may not be worth the costs, although what lay below: so much rain hitting the underneath them in the future. with the artificial lake caused by the I can't imagine digging a few ditches ground in so short a period of time that However, before undertaking the sprinkler systems. to be terribly expensive. For the few it formed a rapidly moving stream. It's a project ofdigging real ditches, Waterview Although my focus is largely on the times a year that it really rains, perhaps good thing there are sidewalks. But alas, should consider two additional points: apartment complexes, this observation these ditches are not worth the loss in therein lies the problem. that not all sidewalks actually need the is certainly not limited to them. With aesthetic appeal, soaked possessions, or The landscaping of Phase III is such ditches, and for those that need ditches, the University already underway in the the potential mosquito problem. that the sidewalks are often the low there should be a discussion as to the conceptualization of the new freshman Hopefully this is not the case and the points of the area, allowing them to best method of digging them. They not dorms, I am confident that appropriate project can be completed quickly. Until beautifully funnel the flowing water. only need to collect the water, but also measures will be taken to keep the then, though, it may not be a bad idea to Granted, there are small indentations in divert the water onward. The apartmeut students dry when necessary without buy a better umbrella, a heavier coat, aud the surrounding grass and dirt; perhaps complex certainly does uot need ditches sacrificing too much visual appeal. poteutially even some waterproof shoes. • they could be referred to as ditches. These filled with stagnant water, especially Perhaps a more daunting task would parallel the walkways, which provide this time of year, which provide 'supple be on campus outside of the Library Bmedict sfishing g~ar is rtady for twtl time. great assistance when there is a lighter breeding grounds for mosquitoes. and Student Union, where a small lake DisctLU this lll.rtide Ill am,t.utlla/las.edll! 6 CAMPUS LIFE ~ !f'J~ cnanc ··~ The major advantage ZBT had over most other organizations on campus was their competitions, immense membership base, Comet Cup standings are from traditional sports like detennine.d mostly on number of teams participating, flag football, volleyball and soccer, to fun activities with relatively small bonuses for placing in each sport. like kickball, squash, and weight-lifting, to hilarious In response to this domination, and in true R.Lvenge of events like the belly-flop smack.down, and cardboard boat the N~ds fashion, AMP took on the task of unseating this regatta. powerhouse. AMP's casual contributor network, open to UTD is not alone in its love of intramural sports, anyone who wished (or wishes!) to contribute, meant our nearly every campus has an active IM program, most organization had the resources to defeat ZBT, although of them larger than ours, but the growing student life perhaps not the coordination. options on carupus, as well as the addition of dorms, will For all that IM sports is at UTD, it could still be by liam skoyles much more. Our campus is fuJ1 of organizations, groups lts03.3()0()@utdallas.edu of friends, and even individual students who could make · i i ...the IM program has a IM sports even better than it already is. As more teams C{)mpete, the competition will get more fierce for those Intramural Sports at UTD has long been a bright wide variety of competitions, who are gung-ho, and the lower divisions will be more beacon in what some contend is a lackluster on-campus from traditional sports like fun, for those who are just playing around. experience. Ofall the events on campus, intramural events On the whole, IM sports remains one of the most are some of the best attended and most anticipated; evuy flag football, volleyball and active parts of UTD campus life, its huge participation fall the flag football championships draw huge crowds. soccer, to fun activities like and almost limitless potential begs for more people to Intramural (IM) sports represents not only a WllY get ~nvolved. New sports competitions and activities for the campus as a whole to come together, but also kickball, squash, and weight are being considered all the time. In this, its first year, for organizations to recruit members, gel as a team, and the Cardboard Boat Regatta attracted nearly 15 teams have great fun. Intramural teams are necessarily small lifting to hilarious events like to construct seaworthy V'e$Sels out of cardbbard and and, therefore, an organization does not need to be the belly-flop smackdown and duct-tape and race them across the AC pool. Also new, enormous to field a team. Many other Wliversities divide a Guitar Hero competition rocked out in the Auxiliary the campus organizations and Greek life into separate cardboard boat regatta. Gym of the AC, showcasing what is really important to divisions,.hawever,at UTD all organizations are on equal students on campus. footing. ln fact, teams are often created by groups of The 1M program at UTD gives its students to come students unaffiliated with a campus organization. continue to fuel our vibrant 1M program. together in athletic (and not so athletic) competition and The lntr:a.mur.al program has also embraced our unique At UTD, the crowning achievement of intramural'' have a great time doing it. From Frisbee to minl-golf to f~ living :arrange~~ts by organizing a freshman ·sports is the Comet ~P· This llW'al"d is given at the dodgebafh IM sports has som~ing for. everyone. All leagae that pits buildings against other buildings. This end of the academic year to reward across-the-board they need now is you! • activity cultivates a real sense of community in Phase 8, participation, sportsmanship, ·and achievement. The as m~y Comets meet their neighbors in a setting that Comet Cup currently has four divisions: Men's, Women's, . doesn't involve an Xbox f{)r the first time. C<>-rec, and Freshman. c.;., Shy/It ftb tl rd amJ Sometimes people misinterpret 1M sports to mean flag For the past several years, ZBT has constituted an for tksigning tbtt .Jwrlimnnrlt«>> /Jehw. football alone; but the IM program has a wide variety of unstopp~le force when it came to the Comet Cup. Dilnw 4U lll'tU Ill,.., •. aM 7 Rethinking American Poverty Homelessness in our backyards isn't an issue to dismiss by simply being thrown back out into the. world. You can imagine how well adjusted those patients ended up. However, most "crazy" people on by stephanie shasteen the streets, Liebow says, have simply [email protected] buckled under the extreme emotional and psychological pressures of being· homeless day in and day out. lhink of all Two months ago, AMP published an the stressed out Prozac users who Live in article on what was, ostensibly, a level- nice homes; now imagine the people on headed expose of the latest advances in the streets, clearly in exponentially worse. vagrant housing. Unfortunately, the article conditions, who can't even afford Tylenol. took what I felt was a sharp tum into 1he streets may have caused the problem, unfounded, though oot wholly invalid rather than the problem being the reason opinions on homeless people in particular. they're on the streets. I'd like to share some information from It's impossible to tell, so it's not fair to my own experi.ences in and out· of ch~ mislabel what could just be a bad mood/ classroom that many people may nor have outlook on life perpetuated by nasty considered before. Not all homeless people circumstances. Mr. Liebow is a rewarding are insane or willfully poor. Additionally, read, and a quick G When computer wires are burned re-manufactured into products such as for old equipment. Cost-Co will take or circuit boards melted to extract the jewelry and shipped back to the U.S. any brand of used electronics, giving valuable elements, harmful toxins are Factories or individuals that dispose or store credit for objects with value, and released into the air, water, and soil. dismande machinery improperly are recycling valueless merchandise at no Electronics contain toxic elements and placing us all at risk. cost to you. by laura miller compounds like lead (a neurotoxin); Fortunately, legislation is beginning In 2005,electronics from San Antonio [email protected] mercury (which has been linked to brain to be passed that requires manufacturers and Houston were found in waste dumps damage and is potentially hazardous to to take share in the responsibility. in Nigeria. Shortly after, the Texas Last week my fivt:-year old, twenty developing fetuses); and beryllium (a Although it has not been a priority in the Campaign for the Environment and seven inch television went iuto early known carcinogen). These are just a few. U.S., some progress has been made. As of Computer Take Back Campaign was retirement. It was about time for an Manufacturing giants, such as China, September 2006, DeU has offered a free developed, and in 2007, Texas passed an upgrade anyhow, but I'm left with 150 are ofteu the graveyards for much of the recycling program for any product at any Electronics TakeBack Law that requires pounds of electronic gadgetry that, developed world's dying and dejected time. Other companies, such as Hewlett manufacturers to provide an accessible apart from satisfying some ingenuous waste. Improper recycling procedures Packard, Apple, Sony, Toshiba, IBM, and way for their consumers to responsibly curiosities, I have absolutely no use have resulted in toxic chemicals being Gateway, offer rebates or trade-in value dispose of electronic waste. It is believed for. Millions of Americans face this that such programs will lift the burden same problem as our computers, cell from individuals and local governments phones, and televisions quickly fade into and conserve the allocation of public obsolescence almost faster than we are funds. able to purchase them. Weak waste and landfill laws in According to the U.S. Environmental Texas threaten to undermine the entire Protection Agency (EPA), 30 to 40 process, so it's important to do careful ·million PC's, 25 million televisions, and research before donating or disposing of 98 million ceU phones will be obsolete electronics. Although some companies within the next few years. Part of this advertise safe recycling, they have not has to do with President Bush's "Digital all been thoroughly investigated, and Television Transition and Public Safety many of them seU their waste to salvage Act of2005,"which requires all televisions companies who ship it overseas. There to be HD-ready by 2009. Of course, you are three companies in Texas who have can't fail to mention the public's growing signed a pledge of "True Stewardship." obse.ssion for faster, smarter, and smallet They are lntechra in Carrolton, ECS devices. Refining in Terrell, and Corona Visions Until recently, the solution was what it in San Antonio. has always been: toss it into a Dumpster Keep in mind that replacement is not and let someone elSe worry about it. The always one hundred percent necessary. Consundy .updatinc ceH phones creates mustft waste. Photo courtesy of Green peace USA , • UN En.vironment Programme estimates - Many computers, cell phones, and that about 70% of the' world's ·fifty televt:stotrls can be upgraded or repaired million tons of dectronic waste ends up a fraction of the cost of a brand new in 1andfi11s each year, and those numbers ,ma.cm.ne. Usually, if the problem is with are growing. Despite government peJ,foJ,ttumce, the issue can be resolV1:d. regulation, much of this waste is shipped it's simply time for a change, then try overseas to places like China and West repress the urge to toss your antique Africa where the people are ~n more off of a rooftop, or smash incapable of proper disposal. malfunctioning laptop with a So what's the big deal?· If developing · 'sledgc~hamrner. The social, environmental, countries want to use our electronics for political repercussions may come scrap, then why not let them earn a few to haunt you. • extra dollars? The problems lie not with the salvaging of valuable metals such as silver, gold, and copper, but in the Laura lwts her 1uw phone! methods used to strip the circuitry. Disaut tiJilllrlitk atqrrtltHrJgllgudH! A MODEST PROPOSAL So c iAL CoMM E NTARY 9 The Misnomer of DatWinism Creationists maliciously label the science of evolutionary biology "Darwinism" ...... · : .· ...... ·.: -: :· fundamental misunderstanding of what . . ... • :: : #'- ,·' ...... ·. · is, and is not, science. UnJike religion, . ::.. ...· ... . science functions independently of, ...... · .... .• .1: and at times in spite of, any individual, by richard badgett however great his contribution. Science [email protected] is not a thing, it is not a philosophy. It is a methodology. Science is the process of explaining things; it is not any single one I'd like to make a plea to all AMP of those explanations. What's more it is readers. The next time someone uses an ongoing process that continually re the word Darwinism in a debate on examines its findings. In science, nothing evolution, or biology, or really anything, is sacred. Darwinism as a term implies please walk away. Right then. Nothing that evolution is somehow a personal else they have to say is worth hearing. ideology, rather than a systematic 0 ne oft he favorite tactics of a number approach to solving problems. k limits of creationist.c; and ID proponents (who and personalizes science in a way that is are also creationists, but I'll flatter them) simply inaccurate. is to portray evolutionary science as a Another irrelevant criticism is sort of personal ideology centered on Darwin's use of race. Now to be fair, the historical person of Darwin. They Darwin was a bit racist. He reflected are loathe to use words like evolution many of the cnltural prejndices of his or evolutionary biology, as these are day held by virtually all members of his well-established fields of science whose society. However, before we denigrate understanding is absolntely essential to Darwin for being a product of his times, even a surface-level comprehension of though, let's take off our 20th century broader biology. By creating the straw glasses for a moment. When Darwin man ofDa.rwinism, they can attribute to used the term race in his original title it any qualities or claims they might like, On the Origin of Species by Natural because, in fact, no such thing actually Selection or the Preservation ofFavoured exists to refute them. Races in the Struggle for Life, he did so The problems with dignifying the in the parlance of his times. A better term Darwinism with a response (e~cept term today would be breed, or species. a rabidly negative one) are many-fold. In The Origin Darwin talks of races of Fust, as expressed above, there is simply pigeons, races of horses, and races of no such thing as Darwinism. Physicists fish. In 1850, the term race meant to a -Hay tbe Bunsen burners ·of n!a.Son bum forever. Graph ic Illustration by Liam Skoy1es don't call what they do Einsteinism, biologist essentially what the term breed astronomers never refer to their work does today, ~nd as such any attempt to o~ theory, there's a lot more at work. To time someone uses the term Darwinism, as Copernicanism. By using such portray~ Darwin as a racist' on the basis . be considere_9 a tbeory;,someth,i.ng must or refers to an evolutionary biologist as a terminology; creationi~ts are trying of his title : aemonstrate~ · two things: ~ :.:not orily explain natU:r.-af: pfi~nome n':t but · 'Darwinist we immediately call them on to iq.tp)y that the _scienti.fi_c t?eory of first, that whoever is making this claim put in place a framework'··that should it. We correct Jhe statement anc\. force evolution can somehow be: contained • is sil))ply trying, to l;listract.yott £rom tb~ ---.~C.CI,l.t:ately.. {lt.S.:di~~~as. yet IIDfi~Lc.wn;p.t's.l .. them.: ,to · u·s.~ ' th~: proper· terrnin.9jogy, , within a single individual, and a badly substantive scientific issues, and second, phenomena. Wild, unsubstantiated ideas ' before we move mi. The..-e can be no, . outdated individual at that.1hey're trying that· this same person has clearly never · like "gravi,ty" ~nd "relativity" are m_erely playing along here, because what's ~t .. to turn pack the clock a hundred and actually read The Origin. theories as well, yet somehow they fail to stake is so impor~ant . If we dignify fifty years to make the claim that current On the same note, the criticism attract the same nincompoop argument. these liars and charlatans by discussing a " evolutionary biology and Darwin's of evolution for being "just a theory" This vain attempt to invalidate evolution, fabricated issue, we undermine the cause original works are somehow the same is equally invalid. Wnon something like the above, stems from ·a pr6found of real science. There can be no truth, no thlng. Evolution has come a long way in is Called a theory in science, it has a ignorance of the most basic aspects of -understanding, and no progress when 150 years, and Darwin, while a brilliant different meaning than when we use the science. ·· '· ' consensus trumps reality, and straw scientist, got plenty of things wrppg. W e word theory in everyday speech. ln the We must not allow such distractions fm an arguments are a deliberate attempt have since gotten many· of them right. vernacular, a theory"is just a gll.ess,'maybe . and tangential cririclsms frem preve'l'lting ~ to mislead people when appeals to logic Using the term Darwinism_is denying a an ~ducated guess, b\lt while it may be a real scientific discussion of the facts. ~ are insufficient. Ill! ceorury and a half of scientific research. predicated on a logical framework, it is What I propose - or rather what I am ' Another reason we must deny conjecture. ln science, when something attempting to convey, as the original Rifhard didn't just ap~ar h~rt; h~ twlved. "Darwinism" is that the term belies a has graduated to the distingnished tide author is Dr. P. Z. Myers - is that any Discuss this artUk at IY'fi-Mtdq//4s.ttlu/ IO SOCIAL COMMENTARY APRIL 2008 • VoLUME 4 • Issue 6 The Hidden Side of Math opportunities available in engineering or reputation. The reason is that most freshman- and sophomore- level math computer science?" people don't know what math is. Perhaps classes were similar. For the record, my answers to these the story of my own education in math Eventually, however, I took a questions are "I'd like to become a will help to clarifY what I mean. class called Introduction to Abstract professor" (although I should stress The first topic I learned in math, as Mathematics (at another university).lhis by nate hannon that this is by no means the only career is probably the case with most people, class was very different from any of the [email protected] open to a mathematician), and "because was arithmetic. To solve an arithmetic above classes. There was hardly a number I really enjoy doiog.math;" there will be problem, I needed only to look at the in sight. The focus of this class was not People hate math. more on this later. very simple symbols that I was given and on applying rules or learning formulas, Okay, maybe I should qualify that The second reaction that I often get apply very simple rules to them. Algebra but reasoning. It was impossible to look statement. Certainly not everyone hates might be paraphrased as, "Wow, that's was a bit more difficult, as it introduced in a textbook to learn how to solve the math. However, it is dear that math is really cool! I could never do math. "While more symbols and more complicated problem - I had to figure it out on my oot one of the most popular subjects I appreciate compliments, this article is rules that had to be applied. own. Sound like a nightmare? Not quite. around. When I tell people that I am about math, not about me as a person. It The same trend continued through The rules were much simpler than a math major, I usually get one of two sounds to me like some of these people trigonometry, calculus, and differential those to which I had become accustomed reactions. view mathematicians in the same Light as, equations. Geometry was a bit of an -no more complicated than those in high The first is something along the lines of, perhaps, firefighters or soldiers - heroes enigma- it involved proving things, and school algebra. For me, this class was, on "What will you do with a math degree?"! who brave situations that most of us .find there was less manipulation of symbols. the whole, much easier than other math might look at this as an attempt to make downright terrifYing. However, it was the exception and not classes, because I could figure out how to friendly conversation. Most likely, a lot I do not know exactly, or even the rnle. When I took calculus, 1 began apply simple rules to prove things more of the time it is. However, I cannot help approximately, how many people have to doubt my ability to continue as a easily than I conld apply complicated but think that-what some people really such an opinion of math. However, I mathematician. Many of the calculations rules formulaically. In most of my upper mean is, "Why would you study math do have a pretty good educated guess as had become too complicated, and I division math classes at UTD, the same when there are so many more career to why math has acquired such a poor struggled with some of them. Other has been true. Now, everyone's brain is different. Some people are better at doing calculations and not as good at concepts. However, I would be willing to bet that a significant number of people would enjoy abstract mathematics if they could get past all of the calculatinos. Ifyou think that math is drudgery, try solving the illustrated problem, known as the Konigsburg bridge problem. The problem is simple: is it possible to find a path that crosses each of these bridges exacdy once? (Obviously, no flying, swimming, or otherwise cheating is allowed.) The Komgsburg bridge. problem is a simple problem in graph theory, one of many branches of math (some would argue all of true math) that is focused on logical reasoning rather than manipulating numbers. However, very few people think of this type of problem when they hear the word "math." I fully be.lieve that many people would have a far better impression of math if they learned about its hidden side. • Nate: Dr. Spodr. ::Deep Blue: Gurry Ktnpar(}'f) (Can you find the six ntrdy rifmnw in this stwy tnder?) DUnu.s this artklL at gon;.HIJ/p/Jas.ttM 'Jli!J(J qrV conjunction with "keep," can be held to have an individual meaning. The right of individuals to keep and 'bear arms for purposes such as hunting and self-defense predates the formation by wen fa of the Constitution. Accordingly, the [email protected] second amendment expresses that the right (instead of a right) to bear arms The Supreme Court of the United "shall not be infringed." States will decide for the first time in It is interesting that the second the nation's history whether the Second amendment is the only amendment Amendment of the United States within the bill of rights with a prefatory Constitution, commonly known as the clause. Nonetheless, various state "right to bear arms," is an individual or constitutions such as New Hampshire collective right. include an introductory clause with the The Supreme Court will rule amendment which describes a purpose on District of Columbia v. Heller but does not narrow the scope of the (previously known as Parker v. District of amendment. Columbia), a case which challenges the 1l1e Second Amendment's placement constitutionality of a 30 year old ban on within the bill of the rights also seems handguns in the District of Columbia. to suggest that it. is an iudividual right. The Supreme Court, which heard oral Amendments 1, . 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 arguments in March, will hand out its (amendments one through four were decision in June on what kind of right grouped together before ratification the second amendment protects. as amendments three through six) all The collective rights interpretation provide individual rights so it wonld of the second amendment is one that seem that the second amendment would has been adopted by 9 out of 11 circuit be an aberration if it did not provide an courts. Collective rights proponents individual right as well. argue that the right to bear arms is bound As the D.C. Circuit noted, canon of by an individual enrollment in a militia ( ( The right of individuals to keep and bear arms construction known as "noscitur a sociis" and they claim that the purpose of the applies here inwhi ch an ambiguous statue second amendment was to ensure that for purposes such as hunting and self-defense is thought to have a certain meaning by the state militias would be maintained predates the formation of the Constitution. The reference to associated statues. for the safety of the state. The standard of review in this case In contrast, the individual rights second amendment expresses that the right (instead should be decided in later cases. What we interpretation of the second amendment do know is that the second amendment contend that the right to bear arms _of_a_rig_h_t)_· t_o_b_e_a_r_a_rm_s_'_'s_ha_l_ln_o_t_b_e_in_n_ri_n g_e_d_."_ 11 (consistent with other amendments such is not contingent on that individual's as the first amendment) is not an absolute service to the militia or on the relation Circuit Court of Appeals, the second been ruled to be as meaning individuals right. However, it's generally recognized of the weapon in question to militia comma in the second amendment splits hy the Supreme Court irt United States v. chat guns are not and should never be use. A third viewpoint, which states the amendment into two clauses: the Verdugo-U rqu.idezandother amendments contraband simpliciter (or illegal for all that the second amendment grants an prefatory clause and operative clause. (the 1st and 4th amendment) that include purposes). individual's right to bear arms as long as Consequently, just as a preface in a "the people" have been clearly defined as The standard ofreview necessarily falls the weapon is related to militia service book does not bind the content of the individual rights. in between the two extremes. Because has been called both "semi-individual" book, the prefatory clause in the second There has been significant debate Supreme Court review on the second and "quasi-collective." amendment does not legally· bind the over whether to keep and bear arms amendment is almost non-existent at I believe that the second amendment more inclusive rights of the second refers to one right (keep and bear this point and just as the standard of confers an individual's right to bear arms. amendment. arms) or tO twO rights (keep arms or review for first an1endment clauses were This view not ouly goes along with the Instead, as noted in Parker, the clause hear arms). Regardless, the word "keep" decided at various times, the standard of common-sense under:standing of the only cites its "most salient political has an apparent private and individual review should be decided at a date in the right to bear arms but also with the text, benefit-and thus the most appropriate connotation. future. • history, and placement of the amendment co express in a political document." The word "bear" is traditionally Wm lrgally padu IM heat to prolet:l himself Wens it within the Bill of Rights. Furthermore, "the people" as appears implies a military use, but it does not hotu~n. though, may 02/tJ() muth to hL legal. As noted by the District of Columbia in the second amendment has already do so exclusively and when read in DisciiS$ this artiek at amp.11ttla/Jtu.ed11 .1 12 Soc i AL CoMMENTARY APRIL 2008 • VoLUME 4 • • Defend Yo~r Rights-and Yourself . ne of our most misunder that his application for a stood rights is in front of handgun in his own home the Supreme Court: the was denied. To me, that says 0 second amendment, also the government is denying known as the right to bear anns. him the ablliry to protect One misunderstanding is thanks to himself, which is one of the people believing that "guns cause crime." possible reasons the second The DC han.dgun ban that's currendy amendment was written. before the Supreme Court was made as an effo.rt to reduce gun crimes, violent - "" crimes, and other things thought linked .... ~,;,· l .. .., .. to gun ownership. The only problem is . .. . . only one with a superior weapon, ...... •. ..· . .. ~ that there's no evidence (or close to none) :: ·:: ...... :.. . . but if the person being attacked that shows the ban working. Instead, has the upper band, or even equal gentrification, inaeased patrols, securiry by chris krailo protection, the tables are turned. clcnil~student.utdallas.edu cameras, etc are all helping to reduce significandy. crime. Criminals U:' less lila:ly to burglarize So why didn't dte ban work? I'm not While on the Subject of protection, houses of known gun-owners, a.n.d the first one that's said this, and I won't be the phrase •a well-regulated militia" has showing a weapon often turns away the last: gun control Llws affect the law- been argued for decades now. It seems would-be muggers. In Texas, we have abiding citizens more than the criminals. that roost of the arguments are pushing the right to protect our home with For this reason, even gun prohibition laws personal agendas (usually in reference to deadly foree, which includes our will have no effect. There are too many passing more gun control laws). History bouse an.d our vehicle as well as our ways to smuggle guns from other states, tells us that a well-armed militia gave workplace. While I cant think of a or even our bordering nations, to stop us the power to become a free nation. single person who desires to use the black market and therefore the illegal English history tells us that before deadly force, I lcnow many people possession of.guns. Research shows that "standing armies," people protected both who are comforted by the mere criminals will acquire guns illegally very their homes and their countries with at;.ility to use it if necessary. . ~ily, with or without a gun ban. weaponry, indudiQg guns, aad were With the Supreme Court Another misunderstanding is due' c.alled upon to fight'When necusary. ruling to come down to people believing that "we don't need It may be bard for us ··:to imagine in June, hopefully a guns" -- that guns should be left to the needing a militia today with the US ruling is made in military and'the police, not tbe · avera~ Atmy fighting to protect our freedoms, favor of individual homeowner. This is also completely but abilitieS to stop invading nations and gun right&. • . false. Imagine somebody busting into to rebel against our own g()vernment : , •• You are your only first defense. gun control, but prohibition is not. ;:...... 1/ The law, your local police department, Interviews of our prison population, 1-::-.:'.:. • security cameras, and locks are all aids to as well a.s other research, shows that the .,,.., ...... help reduce the likelihood of you being mere knowledge that a person has a gun ."'· in such a situation, but once you are face- can protect that person from robbery, · Whm CbriJ h4J b~~re arms, IJt h4J f'IJJ() Shinilfg fVIU to-face with a violent criminal, a gun can muggings, car-jadtings, as well as many 11.1 well Oh ytllh! be your only savior. One of the plaintiffs other crimes. It's very easy for a criminal Disnus this crtick in the DC ban case tells the story to have the upper band ifhe or she isthe lllq,.Htd•Jitn.tt/M! Illustration by Jordon Batura • A MoDEST PROPOSAL S O CIA L COMME N TA R Y Safety Needs to Come First efore I dare was the original intent of the amend this nation, which seems to have a serious broach a ment so that it can set the standard for problem with gun-related homicides, gun controver today. In response to rising violence and control has become a necessity in terms sial subject crime rates, the people of Washington of civilian safety. that, until recently, D.C. passed a ban on the ownership of The numbers say it all. According to hasn't ever been handguns in 1976. Harvard Magazine, the United States properly addressed has more guns per capita than any other by the U.S. Su industrialized nation and a whopping preme Court, let total of over 200 million in 1994 (a me just say that I figure that was really close to the total enjoy and defend population). It's no surprise, then, that my personal and by lissette villarruel the Associated Press reports that the U.S. civil liberties just as lxv052()()()@utdalbs.edu also bas the highest rate of guns deaths much as the next person. among those same countries {14.24 per And as an advocate for individual 100,000 in 1994 compared to Japan's rights, I believe that a certain dis Maybe because of the widespread fear 0.05 per 100,000). trust of authority figures (especially of crime and support from constituents, Combined, these numbers become, the government) is not only healthy but the prohibition survived for three de even more disturbing when you necessary. cades before it w.as seriously contested consider that nearly 100% of gang~ r ,...... ,. ' . Having said that, I think it's impor- by Dick Heller, a security guard whose related homicides, nearly 80% of felony ... . . tant to take a look at the words that start request for a license to lc.eep a gun at his related homicides, and just over 60% of ' ed it all: "A well regulated Militia, being home was denied. And so, this case has argument-related homicides involved necessary to the security of a free State, come before the Supreme Court so that the use of gu.os, according to the Bureau th.e right of the people to keep and bear it can decide if this ban does violate the of Justice Statistics. Even worse, of the Anns, shall not be infringed: Second Amendmeot. 30,000 people that died from gunfire in lhis single sentence establishes what It's not bard to see that such a ban the U.S. in 2001, 58% were suicides, 37% :: . ' · · .... - many argue td. be our Second Amend- isn't really a violation of the Second were homicides, and the remaining 5% ~!.'" ...... ~ #...... • - · . :• ..;:;-;.:; - ---n:tent right to own a gun. But the real Amendment. lh.is argument isn't really were accidental deaths. · .. , ·,-:-. .v point of debate comes down to t!te "~ell over militias or original intent or even Of course, that's not to say that these . --.:a~~.. !J • "'· ~~ated Milita" that's the justification arms th.emselves. This is abou.t security. numbers ·would justify a federal ban on ~ (Qr this. right to bear.. · arms. lo a time It's about th.e Second Amendment's handguns throughout the nation. (In fact, """ - ... ., ,.,-~ when. .citiZens could.n't.-fully trust or de- guarantee of protection from the enemy I'll be fair and add that the Washington pend ·,bfiSn-~~Qjment (at least, (whether foreign or domestic) for the Post s~tes the D.C. ban has·''had mu~Jw than we'Ean.tOday), people had citizens of this country. mixed results and doesn't seem to have to ~1'upon ~to J"'"ido fot ,6..nd that kind of defense is now accomplished all that it was designed the'it: -wn defense against a common en- provided by police, the modem-day to do, .generally following the rising and . efo btcaust no o:Jfr esta/Jiishtd organiza •well regulated Militia." They provide falling rates of the rest of the country:) tion would do so. just the safety that people seek in But given the statistics and high rate of In other words, more than the simple buying handguns. So the citizens of gun-related violence in America, it's not right to own a gun, the Second Amend D.C., in trying to find a solution to completely farfetched that the citizens of ; ~ent estabtished the right to rebel and excessive violence that involved the use the District of Columbia would want to ! ,overthrow:the state by force {if necessary) of handguns, didn't defy the intent of the solve this problem by placing a limit on when it was no longer a government "of Second Amendment by passing a ban on a right that the people (technically) no '\ .; ~ •· the-p.eQple, by the people, for the people" handgun ownership. longer have. ·-" (in ft.l$raha.rn Lincolris words). But it cre But let's set aside these legal lndividu.al rights are of the utmost ated this rjght for t~e people as a "well contentions and semantics and all importance; there's no doubt about that. regul,!te 1he • jordan youngblood [email protected] p1n ycle Ever since Dummy appeared in 1994 "Glory Box" and "Sour Times" their begins over a gently picked acoustic gui ·out of the Bristol trip-hop movement, calling card. Taking the darker edge of tar, only to be replaced by a looping key Portishead has come to represent a sort their self-titled second album to a whole board repeating a similar note pattern; of detached, film-noir sexuality. Often new level, lead songwriter/instrumental the relentless '"We Carry On" simply exemplified by their choice of older, ist Geoff Barrow here structures songs increases the volume when it wants to scratchy samples and the torch-song vo around simple, repetitive rhythms and change sound. "'Hunter" comes the clos cals of Beth Gibbons, Portishead's first distorted keyboards; guitars strum two est to resembling past Portishead with two albums and the live effort PNYC chord riffs over and over while Gibbons· its hushed guitars and loping drums, but built such a distinctive sound that it soWlds literally as if she's about to break it's powerful closing song "Threads" and ultimately came to suppress them. The down at .any moment. 7hird revels in the cowbell-heavy "Magic Doors" that hand disappeared after 1998, with only claustrophobia, trapping the listener offer the best insights into the band's rumors of a follow-up keeping hope inside the production. new direction. alive for fans. Now, ten years later, 7hird As far as the songs themselves, The tracks cau get excessively abra . Portishead finally arrives . opener "Silence" establishes a basic riff sive/repetitive (see: "Machine Gun") Third The spartan cover art is fair warn and lets it run for two minutes before and Gibbons' lyrics easily stumble into ing to those about to listen - this is a Gibbons even appears, trembling her melodrama, but 7hird is a remarkably (Island Records) stripped-down, far more visceral band way through lines like "Did you know strong effort for a ten-year layoff Just than the one who made songs like what I wanted?" Standout "The Rip" don't go in expecting "Roads" again. Elbow has always been awkwardly never really had a full-fledged suc- - perhaps their best since Asleep in the positioned in current British rock: too cess to date. 1he Seldom Seen Kid, their Back. Garvey continues to consistently quirky to hit mainstream pop radio like first totally self-produced album, offers be an evocative lyricist, as tracks like the Coldplay, yet not far-out enough to dab perhaps their first ready-made radio hit: piano-driven "Mirrorball" or aching trib ble in the genre-leaping that Radiohead "Weather to Fly," a shimmering ballad ute "Friend of Ours" walk the fine line indulges in. From the moment "Any built around Guy Garvey's rich baritone between emotional and sappy. The band Day Now" kicked off debut album Asleep describing a town where "my father's is in top form too, cranking out fuzzy in the Back, the band proved themselves feet/still ring from the walls" and idle rockers like "Grounds for Divorce" right capable of making high-quality tunes on afternoons spent developing "the biggest alongside bet-fixing tale "The Hx." a consistent basis; however, commercial of plans." It's a song half-destined for The album slips toward the end, as succ.ess (especially in the U.S.) contiuues movie soundtracks and bad mixtapes. "Some Riot" wanders into dullness and to elude them. Even if"Weather to Fly" doesn't end "On a Day Like This" dives headfirst Elbow · Even after a conscious shift to more up making the band a force on modern into overblown excess. They keep Seldom The Seldom Seen Kid anthemic rock with Cast of7housands radio, the band can content themselves Seen Kid from being best-of quality, but (Geffen) and Leaders ofthe Free World, the band's with releasing yet another strong effort it's still an album well worth a listen. Ordinarily with the two-person of rock music: what would the Stones with Mosshart claiming "you're stupid, rock setup, you've got a guitarist and a have been without Jagger strutting baby, when you're sane" over a bass-heavy drummer. From the White Stripes to the around like he owned the world? The rhythm. "Last Day of Magic" takes a wind Black Keys, duos have held fast to this key is matching image with tunes that ing riff and cuts it up into bleeps for the format of proper garage jamming. For can back it up; Midnight Boom comes verse, with Mosshart sounding remarkably the Kills, however, lead vocalist Alison right out of the gate with a hip-twitch like Karen 0 over the beat; album high Mosshart simply sets up the drum ma ing number called "U.R.A Fever" that light "What New York Used To Be" lets chine and lets it nm while she bounces spits about being "ain't born typical" for her speak-sing the verses while Hince puts off guitarist Jamie Hince's robotic riffs. two minutes and promptly cuts out. Thls his guitar through a electronic grinder. Midnight Boom, their third album, finds pattern doesn't let up until the alb~m's If you're looking for an album to the band switching the machine over to done barely 35 minutes later, just long Zach-Braff-style "change your life," look "dance" more often than not- to pretty enough for a sordid encounter or a few elsewhere. If you just want to move your The Kills damn successful results. minutes on the floor. ass, you can't get much better than this. • Midnight Boom The band has been accused of being The band makes no qualms about being (Domino Records) excessively focused·on image, a criticism all surface, no content; songs like "Cheap jordan ii all about j ust moving his asJ./Il'll.••1Jf. that to me holds little water in the world and Cheerful" revel in mocking the typical. .Discuss this article aJ {lm.b.utdaJJ.as.edu! A M oDEST PROPOSA L ARTS & LEISURE enu Wh~re to go (and avoid) when you want to eat off campus and it did come to me after spending • a little too much time on the grill. I absolutely have to agree with the chaf's .,, ...... ~ ~ < •. recommendation, though, that the Veal ~ J • ...~. 'S Marsala is worth the slightly higher price. It's some of the tenderest beef you can find, covered in a delicious M arsala wine sauce and mushrooms, accompanied by wonderfully light spaghetti topped with delicate marinara sauce. Mter being disappointed by the eggplant, this dish is what will keep me coming back to Cappuccino for more. Even if you think your meal satisfied you completely, I suggest asking to see the desserts. You'll still enjoy their artful plating as they come to your table riding their own cart. The tiramisu is delicious, but doesn't do anytmng new for the traditional dessert. I, personally, go for the cappuccino pie. Since it's almost frozen, I'll admit it would be a little more refreshing during the Dallas summer, but it's such a great slice of .furtatious chocolate and coffee flavors that anyone with a taste for mocha or chocolate pie shoi.ild be able to enjoy it in any weather. And what else should you want to drink with it besides the bistro's namesake, a frothy cappuccino lightly dusted with cinnamon? The two The Cappuccino Italian Bistro next to Tom Thumb on the comer of Coit and CampbelL Photo by Brady Spenrach compliment each other brilliantly, the you know you're near it, you want it. during lunch hour, or classical music sweet and chilly pie and the bold and Craving it yet? during dinner. warm cappuccino work perfectly in Good. I've got just the place in mind. After ordering your drink, be prepared tandem to tickle the tastebuds. The best part is it's not far from campus to be presented with complimentary I truly hope that I haven't made at all. Cappuccino Italian Bistro is a bread and bruschetta -- one step above Cappuccino sound too fancy for a by brady spenrath quaint, cozy caf~ next to the Tom Thumb the oil and seasonings offered at the college student. Perhaps it's a little more bradychan [email protected] tdallas. edu on the corner of Coit and Campbell. As 'casual familydjning'Italian places, in my elegan~ than our usual locations, but that you walk in, expect to find a comfortable, opinion. Service is about more than just shouldn't deter you from tying some Ah, Italian food. For me, it's just one albeit dimly lit, scene reminiscent of an what edibles they bring you of course, so great Italian food. The prices range from of those kinds of food that I crave when outdoor Venetian eatery, complete with expect a professional and polite waitstaff $7.95 for a hamburger to $24.95 for the I haven't had it for awhile. I think it's the street lamps, srucco walls, candles on who shows simple etiquette without Filet Mignon, with most dishes hovering way it smells. Between the sweet aroma every table, and an inviting bar with ... being presumpruous. The server will around the $15.00 range, but I'm told of tomato sauce and the wafts of garlic well, ok, the TV playing pro basketball also bring by the cart carrying the daily even the $9.95 Pork Chop will satisfy. and oregano, when you're anywhere near n.Uns the illusion a little. But at least the specials, which are presented beautifully. To be the most comfortable during Italian food, you just know it. And when game is muted to allow for the light jazz Rest assured that what you order will be your meal, dress neatly, but not formally. presented just as nicely, showing the care Cappuccino is a great setting for a date that Cappuccino takes in its appearance. or a weekend splurge. There, what you t he sweet and chilly pie with the bold and But what is all the hype without see really is what you get. Good thing it i i ... some truly delicious food to back it looks really nice. • warm cappuccino work perfectly in tandem to up? Well, I guess that would be Chili's, but Cappuccino delivers in the food tickle the tastebuds. Brady wonden why department almost every time. On one he kups giving Chili's smmddxmus . '' visit, I onlen:c.l tile Eggplant Parmegiana, DUn11s tiJis arrim at amt>.,.tdallgudH. ! I6 ARTS & LEISURE APRIL 2008 • VoLUME 4 • IssuE 6 Watching the Best of The Coen Brothers hopelessly lost in the intricate story. However, give this movie the attention it deserves and the climax will hit you like a ton of bricks. The camera angles are superb, the atmosphere haunting, by john harding and every ~cene entertaining. Good luck [email protected] finding it on DVD though. et me start by saying I'm not 4. Fargo a film crirl:c. I'm not even an Laspiring film critic or a critic of This movie catapulted the Coen many things in general. I'm really just brotbers from obscure, indie filmmakers a guy who likes movies and knows a to Academy Award winning superstars. lot about them. My goal is to educate Frances McDormand soars as the others on which movies arc the ones that pregnant police officer of a small town everyone must see in an effort to stop in Minnesota trying to solve a very horrible, stupid movies from being seen. strange murder case. 1he case itself The Dude and guys at the bowling alley. Fro_rn The ~g Lebowski, Polygram Filmed Entertainment . .. . -: ~ . . That being said, for my debut I'm going . centers on. a 'car dealership. owner who to feature the top five best films of my is in a huge amount of debt and hires The atmosphere is so intense; it I. The Big Lebowski favorite filmmakers: the directors of this two men to kidnap his wife and hold practically comes out of the screen and year's Best Picture winner No Cou-ntry for her for ransom. puts ynu next to the characters as they Sometimes there's a movie, and this Old Mrn, the Coen Brothers. The idea is that her wealthy father will traverse some of the most beautiful one is it. A perfect snap shot of Los pay the ransom, and he and the kidnappers landscapes captured on film. Javier Angeles in the late nineties, this movie can split the money. However, things Bardem is te.rrif)ring in what will be the isn't full of special effects or even an in 5. Blood Simple don't work out as intended- much to the performance that surely makes his career, credibly intricate plot, but the unique 1he Coen's first movie, released in viewer's delight- for the result makes for but I was more fascinated with Josh cast of characters makes it one of the 1984, is a modem day, film noir-type tale some of the funniest and bloodiest movie Brolin. Who would have thought that most entertaining movies I've ever had filled with double and triple crosses and watching of the nineties. the older brother from 1he Goonies could the pleasure to experience. It's not en plot twists. Dan Hedaya plays Marty, a be so gritty and tough? See this movie. tirely based on a novel by Raymond man who suspects his wife his cheating Chandler, but the Coens wanted. to 3. No Country for Old Men and hires a private investigator to find make a Chandler-esque film, with an l. Raising Arizona out more details. 2007 was on fire with buzz about this increasingly large number of characters It would be a drastic understatement film even though most people didn't take Most of the actors I love, I love and a very convoluted story. to say that the film gets increasingly an interest in it until after the Academy because of the roles they pJayed in The film basically follows a couple complex and engrossing once he takes Awards. If you haven't seen this one yet, Coen Brothers movies. Nicholas Cage of days in the life of stoner Jeff "The the case. It is very diffi~Ult to take your go out and buy the DVD now. It is one is no exception for his role as H.I. Dude" Lebowski as he finds himself eyes off the screen. and, as ln so many ofthedeepestand.mostprofound.movies '. McDunnoughinl9.87'sR.airiTtg..Arizona. wrapped up in a kidnapping and em- . of their,·movies, doing•so. -will-leave you. · 1 :have ever seen. ,. Hilarious· and. touching, and superbly .beozilement· scheme th.at- he really has· ,. .; cast by-supporting· actors such as John no part' in. In additi-on to the superb '• Goodman ~ Holly Hunter and Frances work by Jeff Bridges as The Dude, John McDormand, this movie wiU make _you Goodman performs his best role ever; smile from begirtn.ing to end. 1t follows but John Turturro comes very close to an 1lnl1kely maa-ied couple of multiple stealing the show as well. Definitely my' ex-con and polie;e off1cer, who a:re unable ,. all time f101vorite movie, if you haven't . tb conceive-a child. J ~.-. -. · , , •seen this one yet and you. enjoyed No . Out of desperation, they kidnap a Countryfor Old Men, go watch this and baby from a local rycooa and attempt to see the Coen Brothers at the top of raise it as their 0wn. The' movie is at once their game. • the-Coen's funniest movi:e; and. also one. " 6f their strangest. It is' filled with odd· symbolism and m9tifs that will have you scratching your head even after the john challenges you to Jiragree. Anton Chigurh, played by Javier Bardem. From No Country (or Old Men. ParamountVantage tenth time you've seen it. Discun this artie/~ at qmb,utt/41/Ju.eJu!. ---~GoiiE...--Io--~O__._BoL-.L.A~I~ p 0 L I I I C S Letting the Games Go On Threatening to boycott Bei;"ing may accomplish more than actually doing it boycotts was having two Olympic events that seemed incomplete, absurd, and opposed to the Olympic spirit. As said before, it's the tlt~at of a boycott that works. At least this was the by alex garcia topete case for the 1936 Berlin Olympics. Back [email protected] then, Nazi Germany was the target of a boycott attempt, mainly because of its lhe People's Republic of China persecution of Jewish people and usage has become in the past months that of the games as Nazi propaganda. neighbor that nobody really wants to However, the boycott didn't happen. play with, but with whom everybody Instead, the Nazi authorities toned down must. If there is any doubt about this their totalitarian measures because ofthe claim, just ask the people from Tibet. visitors. Having to be lenient was more Or any of the athletes, celebrities, and attractive thau losing the opportunity of other high-profilers who are promoting hosting the games. Thanks to this, Jesse a boycott to the upcoming 2008 Beijing Owens, an Mrican-American, had his Olympics -- literally, some simply don't chance to win gold medals in Hider's want to play with or within China. With own backyard -- an excellent anecdote any luck, the boycott will not happen; for the history books. but having the threat of it might have Recent history also supports the positive outcomes. idea that a boycott threat should impact It's the invasion of Tibet by the China positively. After all, chey gave in to Chinese chat is flaring things up -- or international peer pressure on the issue maybe it's not so much the invasion of Darfur's genocide situation, agreeing (since it happened way back in the A protest in London eehoes current global feelings aboutTibet and China. Photo court South America plays out Crisis in Colombia a drama on the world stage .. .. ·...... /. /. Once again, either the scriptwriters . Genre. · Political E>rama .. ..._ . .. . or the memory of the actors fail as "Lel)gth · ·· ·9 · da~ .! •• •· . ~: by alice post dialog degenerates into Colombia 1\~leas·e ·oat~ M~ch.-1;A.OQ8 :1post€~>snldC•It.utd With that in mind, the following is my malre informed decisions. At the same a potential zombie. During an outbreak, advice to the U.S. Federal Government time, once decisions are made, they must the government's maxim should. be, given a zombie attack. Hrst and most be quickly communicated on downwards "better safe than sorry." The specific importantly: do not perform so that they can be carried out strategy depends greatly on what kind of reanimation experiments efficiently. "Bureaucratic lag zombie the government is dealing with, by ben dower on the deceased. I don't could be all-too fatal. but a ''shoot-first, ask questions later" benjamin.doW~:[email protected] care if it would solve Civilian casualties should · policy would probably save more lives the Army's recruiting be avoided when possible, than it would cost. he zombie genre has recently problems. Un-killable but in a zombie outbreak, On the other h:!.nd, it's probably a grabbed hold of the American zombie super-soldiers everyone must be expendable. mistake to assume that keeping people T audience, and it refuses to let do not fit with the Every person, after all, is still in the dark for as long as possible is the go. Moviegoers have sunk their teeth American dream. way to prevent a panic. Rumors based inro undead films, shuiBing to theatres If there is a zombie on partial fact can be just as frightening in droves as if in a trance. Berween the attack, the origin should as the reality, and far more, damaging. late 1980s .and '90s, it seemed as though be a voodoo priest, a Giving complete information to people zombie films were dead, with few quality demonic possession, or would probably be a better sttategy. If, flicks worthy of mention. alien intervention, not the for example, the government diKovers However the genre was unexpectedly Federal Government's attempt to that a// deceased transform into zombies reanimated in 21" century cinema with heighten Dick Cheney's already within hours of the person's passing, then the release of the &sitknt Evil series, the overwhelming creepiness. that information should be shared with Dawn of the Dead rem:Uc.e, the Shaun of I seriously cannot stress the public. the Dead homage-parody :film, and 28 this e~ough. These are only a few basic tips. For Days Later trilogy. All of this has further Second, a major a detailed strategic analysis of a specific solidified the zombie niche in American priority during a zombie outbreak scenario, please go to amp. popular culture. outbreak should be utdallas.edu for an online exclusive! ln The apocalyptic aspect of the zombie determining the type of the meantime, stay safe and keep your genre is clearly one of its most morbidly zombies being fought. brains to you. • appealing aspects. More than vampire, I suggest the following werewolf, or even alien invasion scenarios, categories for classifying The longer, more detailed Dower Report which suggesh th~ proper international zombies seem to lend themselves to zombies: speed, intelligence, rtrategiet can be founil as a web-exclusive ending the world, with small bands cause, and killability. It is important to at http:lla"¢ utd«lias,ed11. of people attempting to survive while recognize that just because you have fighting and escaping from the ravenous identified one type of zombie does not dead If you go on the.lntemet, a11 -~u mean that is the only type on the prowl. . · &.. htu m:mdy bent htNi.g some strllflgt millrligbt (.f'lWi•gs•.. /1~ 11othi11g. tllfntgb. Promise. have to do is type "zombie survival" and For ~pie, zombiesm might be Dbnus dlilln'tilk lit•••"'«Tic tO! there JUe dozens ofguides with an absurd spread through biting and natural causes - level of detail to instnict the reader on (even if .you die without ever being how to overcome an undead apocalypse. infected, you still become a zombie.) However,.after a thorough search, I Likewise, you might have primarily was unable to find so much as a *Dear mindless wandering zombies but then Abbey" column's worth of advice to have one smart zombie that is able to the United States' government. All the teach the others, a la Larul of the Det.ul. survival guides seem to assume that Try not to make assumptions. the government has either completely Another important generalization: collapsed, is ineffective and powerless, there is no such thing as an overreaction. or is somehow responsible for the If zombiesm is transmitted via bodily creation of the zombies and is more fluids, no quarantine can be too tight. interested in covering its involvement If any dead person becomes a zombie, than preventing an outbreak (or than make each State and State County alternatively, in harnessing the zombies responsible for the security of every for military purposes.) cemetery in it:s geographic vicinity. But that leaves out the fun hypothetical Anyone who dies must be decapitated. world with the U.S. government as it really Effective communication is critical is: a little bit inept, a little bit corrupt, but during a zombie outbreak. .Situational on the whole muddling through the best information needs to flow upwards it can given the situation. quickly, so the people at the top can The Dower Repon prepares society for these monste111.llluso-ation by Scoct Ungchusri 20 ______.LP~U~Z-""'-7__._1---'E-...... L-S -: & G A M E s /,l(mj-M: FOOL ME ONCE by benedict voit and jessie harpham beneJict. voi !@student. utdallas. edu jessica.harpham@student. utdallas.cdu Across Down 1. Provided by trees 1. Youthful ending 5. Ben_ (1959) 2. Bee. home 8. One of the Abrahamic 3.Dry religions 4. 2"cl to Mumbai 13. To get weary 5. 5 cards in poker 14. Funny noise maker 6. Israeli n,achine gun 16. A type of shark 7. Austin College Students 17. Wins because "good is 9. Uncle Tom's Cabin author dumb" 10. Scoreless in tennis 18. The national version of 11. for the course Uranu.r 12. Brooks and Gibson 19. Benedict's future office 14. Eats eucalyptus 20.Archie 15. He went __ way 22. Bring 59 across 21. Nightmare on this 24. Not well street 25. I like him 23. Check marks 26. Forever 26. 3'd Rock 29. NCAA Bball in March 27. Counting Crows song 33. Regulate air traffic 28. Dispatch number 36. Damien Rice girl 30. Saturday Night Fever 38. CI· or Na· or K• style 39. Pay back with interest 31. Dog's feared word 40. Arlington home 41. Voit, Youngblood, 32. of the State (Blink 182) Skoyles etc. 42. The murdered Van 33. The first is their day Gogh 34. Hall of Farner Hank Apri( Sh_owers bring May Flowers ... What do May Flowers bring? Why the Pt!grtms of course! [email protected] http://amp.utdallas:'edu 43. 'With' to Brutus 35. Photographer Adams 45. Apply on sunburns 37. One of Freud's 46. Hardy-_ structures 47. New Mac OS 39. Lambda Theta Alpha, 7..o\n\<.s\ 4 2 6 51. Weekend comedy show abb. 52. Day of April15 44. Joystick direction 53. Greek Goddess of 47. A lyric love poem 9 5 2 4 Dawn 48. Person out of prison . 55. Measurements of 49. __ for Life 5 8 success 50. Scooby, for one Sud 59. Result from -22 across 52. Should it be free?. 1 2 63. A Saturn car, or optical · 54. I could have phenomenon 55. Page 11 topic 6 8 64. '!he Magic Flute 56. Beating the Dollar oku · 66. To leave out 57. 1982 Disney SciFi film 2 1 67. To walk begrudgingly 58. See him run 68. Too curious 59. Worry 5 9 69.2005 Hurricane 60. To let off 70. Sweetie 61. Ceremonial event 7 8 1 71. A tater 62.1he sun, for example 9 72. Return key 6S. That, to Pedro 3 8 6 A MODEST PROPOSAL PUZZLES & GAMES 21 2 5 6 7 Difficultv: Rebate .. _, r • 4 >.r!I¢ .' 8 5 ' "'" Sudoku 6 7 1 2 9 3 6 4 8 3 7 4 7 9 8 5. 5 8 3 6 2 1 9 4 7 8 5 5 3 9 8 6 1. 2 8 3 7 3 2 7 9 9 ' 6 3 7 Have a puzzle you want to see? Want to write your own crossword? Give us feedback on your favorite puzzles! Sudokus are great but we want more! Send emails to: [email protected] 1 6 4 2 Mario Maze! 2 3 5 2 4 8 9 6 2 5 1 1 6 7 4 8 6 2 4 9 3 4 7 3 5 6 2 4 3 9 8 1 1 2 7 6 Difficultv: T::L\: Free < Start! AMP is not responsihkfor GPA loss du~ to obsessive puwe solving; AMP t11kes credit for increased GPA d11e to ohseuive puzzle solving. 0 ~ _ ,_ -;::)Vl - UJlh0 8 - 0 . - ~ ~ - < 2 I U \.\( ,"-; /lpril /(I()S BAILING OUT THE ECONOMY Spitzer, McGreev~y, .Craig ·to ·S~ar in new "Infidelity ER" :; ~=: These former politicos were shamed out of office, so instead of writing "If I Did It" books, they have devised another way to make some money, and hopefully clean up parts of their stained reputations. by Bunny Perkinson women get in the way of his immense talent Scandal-Follow-Up Reporter for surgery. "We had this character and we thought, NEWYORK (AMP) - Following up the media 'Who could possibly convey the struggle frenzy over fanner New York governor Elliot between wanting to improve your position Spitzer's sex scandal, Hollywood executives and having sex with a lot of strangers?' at FOX have given the green light to a new Suddenly, Elliot fell right into our lap and just dramatic comedy, "Infidelity E.R.," featuring wouldn't get out," said head WTiter Daniel the disgraced politician and others a.s sex Defoe. starved doctors at a Los Angeles hospital. Immediately, the WTiting staH began The show, which originally had been brainstorming other scandal-ridden planned as a generic response to the success politicians that could potentially fill roles on of shows like "E.R." and "Grey's Anatomy," the series. The process took less time than changed course rapidly after producers the writers anticipated. foWld that Spitzer had acting aspirations and "Well, for starters, we had a character would be willing to star in a television show. who everyone could clearly tell was having "Apparently his little affair with the call a struggle with their sexual identity. There's girl was his first shot at some real role a scene where he walks into the scrubs playing. We were intrigued at someone who room and tries to proposition a male visiting was willing to dive so deeply into a role--you surgeon, but when he finds out he's not gay, know, really get in there and plunge into the he claims he just has a wide stance when he depths of their essence. Of course, the fact washes up. Clearly Larry Craig was the first that anything with the name 'Elliot Spitzer' person we turned to," said Defoe. attached to it is getting mass media attention Craig, who is still in Congress, offered to didn't hurt matters either," said one executive film his scenes during the legislative recess. for the network. The producers were surprised at how easily Spitzer's illicit rendezvous with call he fell into the role, saying"you'll really think girl Ashley Dupre gave the producers the this guy is struggling not to come out." handsome, Don-Juanesque leading man the Former governor Jim McGreevy plans to show required, nicknamed "McGropey." He guest-star as a patient,while President Clinton plays an ambitious doctor at Pasadena Beach has a recurring cameo as the sagacious chief Medical who lets his insatiable desire for doctor with advice for Spitzer. • URANUS: NO EXCUSES JUST RESULTS April2008 UR4JVUS 3 Wright to Obama: Super Smash Brqthers "April Fools!" Jrawl-~epla~~· . , ~~p'~ -~e "You really got rn.c · says presidential car..'~ :date Cour~. in Decision Making CHICAGO (AMP) - T . ::1rcg a few ··~· . weeks of stomach-churn.ncr tension by D'Brickashaw Cunningham 'the next update of the series." into a whole afternoon c. "lt. ousting Friend Code 1162-8676-0876-3454 Justice Thomas was especially pleased laughter, Rev. Jererr ~ · \Vright with the outcome: "Maybe I'll actually stay revealed to church n-·. -. ~ r:?r and WASHINGTON (AMP) -In a stunning turn awake for one of these battles," he smiled. of events with legal ramifications 1)-0t heard "Hahaha. Just kidding," noting that the Democratic candidate lL , , :Jbama of since perhaps the court-packing plan of courtroom had just installed a new HDTV; a that his speeches ano . u'v'ocative FOR, the U.S. Supreme Court dissolved itself couch, and a large bag of Ruffles. comments had all, in ;.·:~ · been a today and installed the popular Nintendo The ramifications will be galactic. "To say large April Fools prank. Wii game Super Smash Brothers Brawl as the this changes the face of our legal system "We started planning this one out a new method of deciding litigation. is an understatement. Now, instead of legal The multiplayer-driven video game, in lmowledge, lawyers will be chosen on their long time ago, when we could kinda which players choose versions of popular effectiveness with Link or Samus in a 4-player tell you'd be getting into a drawn-out Nintendo characters to clobber one duel. Precedent will give way to rules over political battle with underlying racial another with, was considered one of the which maps are totally lame to play on, and tensions," said Wright with his arm most anticipated titles of 2008. It has sold court majorities will change to a best-out-of around Obama. "I was kinda hoping in massive quantities across the globe, with nine system. The entire interpretation of the most locations sold out of the title. Constitution now relies on hitting each other these talks would come out exactly "All of us on the court were pretty much in a video game," said a Yale law professor. on April 1st, but it didn't quite work exhausted over having to look up prior cases, There has been no official ruling as to out that way. Good thing you know listen to long arguments from opposing whether the new system will involve the use now it was just a big prank!" of items, or whether the litigation will be sides, and generally waste a whole lot of time Wright's sermons, in which the sitting around wearing robes," said Justice based upon stock games or timed games. Antonin Scalia in his opinion on U.S. Supreme Organizations like the NCLU have pastor makes comments interpreted Court v. Itself. "We, in a unanimous decision, immediately begun recruiting talented by many to be anti-American, were feel that the animated tomfoolery of Smash 10-year-olds to represent clients, while actually filmed just a few weeks ago Brothers will give the nation an effective tool conservatives have started training children in front of a few of Obama's friends to solve their legal problems at least until in an anticipated rematch of Roe v. Wade. • in on the joke. Unfortunately, they were widely distributed on YouTube before the pastor's friends could add the vital "Fooled you, Barack!" slide to the end of them. Before hearing the news, Obama confessed that he was legitimately worried that this would be the secret weapon Clinton had been searching for: "I have to admit, guys, I really thought this could have been a dangerous blow to my campaign that others would use against me. Good thing this will just blow over now with no ill effects," said Obama with a wide grin. The McCain campaign was considering a similar "shocking" joke near April Fools, but decided against it for fear the sudden strain might cause the aged McCain to have a heart attack and die. •