Disney weasels besides the ones in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Weasels in stories taking place before, during or immediately after 1947: (Note: The criteria here is that any of these weasels could’ve easily lived in the same time period as the Toon Patrol. It is not based on the chronological order of their appearances in our world. It’s difficult to say precisely when any of these characters, save for a few, were created/born in the WFRR world.)

“Slithy” (named by Fatal) The Resurrection of Doom This sneaky, amoral weasel conceives the plan to bring Judge Doom back from the dead, of all things. It’s unknown why he decides to do this exactly, and it makes one wonder how loyal the weasels were to Doom. After all, would he not be more concerned bringing back the Toon Patrol? It suggests that he would get a better result with Doom than with his “brothers”, as he calls them. The idea that all the members of the Toon Patrol and these three new ones are all literal brothers smacks too much of the Koopalings (that is, they all look really darned different from each other), so it can be assumed that he means “brothers” in the sense of “brother weasels”, or that he considered them to be like brothers, as in “I love you like a brother”. Because there seems to be the suggestion that he wants revenge (presumably because of his “brothers’” death), and is willing to revive someone as dangerous and demented as Doom, I get the impression that he’s slightly deranged. One problem this comic has is that it appears that they were in fact not making a sequel to the movie, but instead making one to the graphic novel adaptation. This is supported by the fact that Judge Doom has pink skin instead of yellow, like the comic instead of the suggested color he has in the movie, and that Slithy refers to his “brothers” as if they all died of Dip, instead of just Smarta**. Luckily, nothing seriously contradicts the film, so this comic can still be considered canonical. His most distinctive features are his long, drooping nose that hangs down in front of his mouth, and squinting, wrinkled eyes. His hair is (usually) black and messy. He wears an oversized purple zoot suit and fedora, including loose pants and large awkward shoes. He resembles Smarta** somewhat, which seems to indicate that whoever created him in our world wasn’t trying to be original. If you look closely, Slithy’s close-ups reveal that he has actual irises instead of the traditional pupil-only look that a large majority of toons have, and they’re colored a bright blue (one panel makes them lime green). This makes him the only known weasel to have an actual eye color instead of just black dots- besides Wheezy, who has (slightly darker) blue irises as well.

“Doofus” (named by Criswell) The Resurrection of Doom Big, tall and dumb, Doofus represents the first of two big dumb weasels created after WFRR that fall into the same category as Stupid. If his appearance wasn’t evidence enough, he only speaks in simple sentence fragments. Other than that, one gets the impression that he’s in awe of everything. He’s unusually tall for a weasel (among the tallest), making it appear that he has considerable strength, and sports a red shock of hair and large round eyes that look on in fascination. He wears a bright green jacket and buttoned shirt, lime green pants, a (usually) blue-green tie, all baggy, and a grey bowler. Again, he resembles Stupid somewhat, further proving that whoever designed these guys took direct inspiration from the Toon Patrol.

“Al” (named by Weasel Freak) The Resurrection of Doom A short, bald, and weird-looking weasel who resembles a cross of Psycho, Flasher and Peter Lorre- most likely the artists were thinking of Psycho. He’s rather obviously mentally damaged, evidenced by his large, mostly vacant bulging eyes, and his constant panting and hanging out of his tongue. He rarely (if ever) speaks, so it makes it nearly impossible to tell what he’s thinking, if anything. His wide grin suggests that he enjoys observing everything, and his eyes occasionally shift back and forth as if he’s keeping an eye out for intruders, but that’s the most you get from him. His head is mostly smooth (besides the usual brown fur) except for some black (or red) hair springing out of the back of his head. His only clothing is a large, Silly-Putty-pink trench coat. Why he wears this exactly is unknown, but it’s interesting to notice that he has nothing underneath it and is always clutching it close to himself, like he has something to hide. This is the main reason he reminds me of Flasher. He’s named after Ed the Hyena, whom he strongly resembles, which is why he has a proper name instead of the usual descriptive one. It is generally preferred that unnamed weasels get the latter because of the Toon Patrol, but when a Disney weasel actually gets an official name, it’s usually a proper one (like Wally and Winnie). For the most part, though, what their names are, if they have any at all, is unknown.

“Perfesser” (named by Fatal) “The Weasels’ first very own solo story!” This tall, white-bearded, and grey-furred weasel apparently teaches other weasels how to be evil, sneaky, and conniving by means of his “Weasel Tech” school, which in this story he sets up in a small brick building in place of an art school that went out of business. A certain Eugene Rabbit (who, despite all claims, is really the star of this story) unwittingly becomes his “first pupil” (whatever that means), and gets treated as if he were a strange-looking weasel for God knows what reason. Eugene isn’t much better, since he doesn’t recognize them as weasels until the word “weasel” is mentioned and doesn’t really question whether or not anything he’s being taught has to do with learning how to draw. Perfesser wears a bright blue graduation gown and cap, which shows that he obviously wants to appear smart. It’s doubtful how smart he actually is (especially since he doesn’t immediately recognize Eugene as a rabbit), but he has experience being a weasel, as proven by his clear authority over the others. Who the others are exactly isn’t clear- that is, whether or not they’re his students or part of his gang or staff. What this story proves is that weasels deliberately make themselves bad guys, and even have it down to a science, or maybe even an art or philosophical way of life. Things like slinking, having shifty eyes, seeing darkness and evil everywhere, and having evil in everything you do are all requirements of being a weasel. Perfesser also includes learning to take a beating as part of it, stating that “in the comics and cartoons, we always take a beating.” This is somewhat confusing because it implies that toon weasels are much more common than they actually are, and frequently get beat up. Looking at all known examples of Disney weasels, nearly all of them do endure physical abuse, but there aren’t really enough Disney weasels in the first place, and non-Disney ones even rarer, and far too much time in between their appearances to really make such a statement and have it be true- or at least be treated as if it was common knowledge. The beating they take is never as extreme as the one Eugene gets, either. Perhaps the oddest thing about this story is its very purpose- to give “The Weasels” a solo story. Not only does it fail to do so, but the phrase “The Weasels” seems to imply that we know who they’re talking about. It’s like they’re saying, “You know... The Weasels! Those guys you’ve been seeing in these comics? Yeah, we’re totally not making them up.” Of course, we hadn’t seen them before or since.

“Punkin” (named by Weasel Freak and Fatal) “The Weasels’ first very own solo story!” This fellow is extremely short and appears to be goofy and hillbilly-like. His costume consists of a black and orange striped shirt and a large orange hat, reminiscent of Jed Clampett. He’s the first to question Eugene’s weaselyness, so he can’t be terribly stupid. He’s also one of three weasels in this story who has a much shorter and fatter muzzle than your usual weasel, which makes them all look very strange in comparison to the others, especially since Perfesser and Ezra have the standard muzzle (more or less). All three of them also have very large round eyes- even larger than Doofus.

“Tricky” (named by Criswell) “The Weasels’ first very own solo story!” This guy’s about as tall as Perfesser, and wears a lime green trench coat with an orange shirt underneath and an orange belt buckle, and a lime green hat to match. He’s the second of three to have short fat muzzles and big eyes. He agrees with Punkin concerning Eugene’s doubtful status as a weasel. He seems about as goofy as Punkin as well, except in a wide-eyed sort of way instead of a droopy-eyed way like Punkin.

“Red” (named by Lynx/Sunraye) “The Weasels’ first very own solo story!” Short, with a red and yellow beanie and red turtleneck sweater, and dark brown fur. He almost always squints menacingly, and always sort of sneaks around, and only speaks once. He’s the third weasel to have a short, fat muzzle. Because of his Dead-End-Kid looks, he appears to be a juvenile delinquent.

“Ezra” (named by Fatal) “The Weasels’ first very own solo story!” Ezra’s the tallest of all in this particular story, which is emphasized by his ridiculously tall brown top hat, which measures up to a third of his body. He also wears a black jacket, orange bow tie and white shirt front, and sports dark grey fur. Seems to be the most experienced when it comes to what Perfesser teaches, because of his constant sliminess, evil hand-wringing, and undertaker-esque costume and behavior. It may very well be that he’s Perfesser’s star pupil. Named after the tall skeletal Hitchhiking Ghost, whom he resembles somewhat.

Winnie Weasel Beauty Parlor Bedlam Winnie is clearly meant to be Jessica Rabbit’s weasel counterpart and rival. Whether or not Winnie is to Minnie (Mouse) as Wario is to Mario is unknown. Why she shares the same first name with Pooh is also unknown. Like Jessica, she’s a bombshell, with an idealized hourglass figure. But because she’s a blonde and Jessica is a redhead, which apparently are preferred, she never got the roles she wanted and Jessica got them instead. Another major difference is her bizarrely large lips, which kind of spoils her otherwise appealing looks. She wears a simple yet elegant pink dress with white trim, gold hoop earrings, and pink high heels. Her main motivation is revenge, jealousy and the allure of stardom, and when we see her, she has a plan to make Jessica ugly and replace her in the eyes of the public. (And if her thought balloons are any indication, she plans to color her fur grey.) But because she’s a bad- guy toon weasel, who are inherently failures in the face of traditional Good vs. Evil archetypes, her plan goes horribly wrong.

Br’er Weasel recurring character in Br’er Rabbit/Song of the South comics Br’er Weasel has proved himself to have the longest career of any weasel character still around today (in fact, he’s the only one who’s still doing anything). One could say his roots begin with the Uncle Remus story “How Wattle Weasel was caught” from the collection Nights with Uncle Remus, but it is unknown if any of the folks at Disney were thinking of this story when they created him, and rather unlikely. Despite this, Br’er Weasel as he is known now was created the same year as the release of Song of the South, in 1946. This both predates the events taking place in WFRR (1947), and the release of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949), which is the basis for all future Disney weasels. And because he still makes appearances today, he’s had the longest career of any Disney weasel ever! Br’er Weasel, in his normal incarnation (more on that later), has always had the unusual costume of a well-to-do cowboy, with a big, broad white hat, brown or black jacket, string tie, blue pants and brown leather cowboy boots. He also has a distinctive curly black mustache, and always has grey fur. He can also be seen wearing white gloves on occasion. Because of his early conception, he has several physical traits not often seen in other Disney weasels. Although the shape of his head wasn’t consistent until his revival in recent years, it tends to be long and pointed, almost like a curved carrot, unlike the rounded, almost sausage-like snout most of the others have. Another distinctive feature is his long tail (although the artists frequently forget to draw it), where most of the weasels have a short stumpy one or none at all. Lastly, Br’er Weasel is rarely seen with any visible teeth, unlike the commonly plain-to-see sharp ones of Mr. Toad and its derivatives. After his initial appearances in American newspapers in the late ‘40s and early ‘50s, it seems that Disney’s comic book artists forgot about him entirely and created several completely new “Br’er Weasel” designs- almost as though they thought the Song of the South-based comics were lacking in a weasel character, and were unaware of each other’s versions. As you may expect, this results in a good number of laughably off-model incarnations of Br’er Weasel in the late ‘50s to early ‘70s. It wasn’t until European artists brought him back in the late ‘70s that he returned to his original design (though even this wasn’t overnight), which revitalized his career and gave him newfound personality and popularity. He is most often depicted as a sneaky, conning liar. (More info to come as I collect the comics he appears in...)

Agent von Weasel Mickey Mouse on a Secret Mission Even earlier than Br’er Weasel, with only one appearance to his name, is this stereotypical Nazi weasel from a series of Mickey Mouse newspaper strips made in 1943, three years before Br’er Weasel made his debut. He’s probably the first Disney weasel to have a role of any significance. When Mickey is asked to go on a secret WWII mission to test a top secret plane for fighting the Germans, the Nazi spy Agent (17) von Weasel and the apparently easily-bribed, traitorous Pete catch wind of it. High-flying adventure ensues. Von Weasel is a step away from being your ordinary dogface, with a spherical head and large bulbous nose, and if it weren’t for his smallish pointed ears, you’d be pretty hard pressed to identify him as a weasel. His most distinctive features are his devilishly arched eyebrows, sneaky grin, and small waxed mustache- a must-have for any devious German stereotype. His fur, despite the presence of a face mask, is at best guess a light brown (when this story was reprinted in comic book form, he was given all-flesh-tone fur). Although he puts on many disguises, his typical outfit appears to be a black vest and pants, a white buttoned shirt and white bow tie or a black necktie, brown shoes, and of course white gloves. When outdoors, he’s seen with a black jacket and a brown fedora. Later on, the German stereotyping continues with the addition of a monocle! His personality is pretty much your cookie-cutter sneaky bad guy/stereotypical Nazi.

Robber weasels The Treasure Hunt Described but never seen in illustration, this group of weasels are found in a text story in an issue of Comics and Stories. Weirdly enough, their crime is stealing the savings of one of the ostriches from Fantasia- the very same seen at Maroon Studios- here named Ossie.

Grey weasel Baggage Buster Disney weasels, it would seem, had humble beginnings- this little fellah’s hard to spot unless, out of curiosity, you decide to watch your Goofy DVD in slow motion like we did. Goofy is a baggage carrier for a train station in this short, and when he has to deal with a magician’s trunk, it means a whole freakin’ zoo is hidden inside of it. Among the more typical animals is this grey-furred quadrupedal weasel leaping out of the trunk. This guy has some details most other weasels don’t- most noticeably, a black-tipped tail and paws, as well as a pinkish face mask. His expression, however, is much more typical- one of cunning. There is also one shot where there may also be a weasel, but it looks very different- such as having brown fur and a poofy tail- and is harder to identify. It might be a mink. Also worth noting are a flying squirrel, an armadillo, a giant anteater, and at one point, a sauropod dinosaur.

Wallie Weasel Halloween Hogtie Mentioned only by name in this Li’l Bad Wolf comic, all that’s known is that he’s attending the same Halloween party as Li’l Bad. Presumably he’s friendly, since Fifer and Fiddler are going too. He’s probably also a little kid. It’s sort of funny to imagine Wallie’s father forbidding him to make friends with the pigs, just like Big Bad. Not to be confused with “Wally” below.

Wally Weasel The Trouble with Toons! Wally seems to have joined forces with a different criminal leader after Judge Doom died, namely a brightly colored, big-mouthed toucan mobster named Big Bill. Wally plays the smart one in your classic “smart bad guy, dumb bad guy” duo, making it likely that he’s second-in-command. His partner is Bub. His appearance, while fairly typical at first glance, shows itself to have some unusual features- the first thing most people would notice is his extremely narrow, almost snake-like eyes, ending in an ancient-Egyptian-style curl. He also has the distinction of being the only weasel known so far to have pointed, spidery, almost graceful fingers and hands, instead of the usual rounded, sometimes sausage-like fingers of all the others. One notices his sharp teeth more than others, as well. His clothing is fairly simple, consisting of what seems to be his trademark lime green bowler, matching jacket, white buttoned shirt, and pale yellow tie. The coloring is very inconsistent, sometimes confusing him and Bub’s clothing color, and leaving their fur color uncertain. In fact, some panels make it look as though the colorists thought they wore pants. Otherwise, his expression leaves the impression that he’s frequently sneering or glaring at things, making it seem as though he has a very low opinion of other people, but mostly Bub, who he calls a dummy. He also often seems slimy and angry.

Bub The Trouble with Toons! Wally’s large and dull-witted partner, who is referred to as “bub” a total of three times, is rounder, thicker, and taller than other weasels, but seemingly not as tall much as Doofus nor as thick as Stupid. He wears a blue newsboy cap over his messy hair and a simple purple buttoned shirt with two impractically large pockets in front. Oddly, a cigarette hangs limply from his mouth. Not much can be said about him besides his obvious dumb, large-henchman personality. Because of his similarity to both Stupid and Doofus, these three not-so-bright weasels have been dubbed “the Idiot Club” (by me). Bub bears the distinction of being the only one of the three who smokes. “Sleazy” (named by Two-Bits/Sodapop) Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin The existence of Sleazy comes as a surprise because he’s the only weasel besides the Toon Patrol in the ride Car Toon Spin. Even more surprising is the fact that he has lines. These lines reveal that he has a similar malaprop problem to Smarta**. Sleazy’s appearance, like so many others, comes from the basic mold of the weasels in Mr. Toad, but is made different by the presence of suspenders (above his sweater) and a patch on his pants. The distinctively baggy fit of his clothes and the patch on his pants gives him an unkempt look, suggesting he has little regard for his appearance. His pants and newsboy cap are greenish blue with black stripes, while what appears to be his turtleneck sweater is a bright green. His suspenders and the patch on his leg are yellow. Although he was named without any awareness that the same name appeared on a list of names considered for the original Toon Patrol, he has since been given the appropriate traits associated with the word, his sloppy appearance, and the specification of him spewing “off- color remarks” as seen on the list of names.

“Beanie” (named by Fatal) Good Neighbor Roger Beanie is perhaps one of the most unusual weasels of all, if not the most unusual, due to him being on the good side. The trouble is that Roger can’t quite grasp this concept, and so he flails in uncertainty until he finally meets him face to face. When Beanie moves in next door to Roger for some peace and quiet (showing his ignorance of who he’s living next to), Roger jumps to the conclusion that he’s one of “them”, and is out to get him like every other weasel. After uselessly worrying himself over sick with fear and prejudice, Roger struggles with the idea that he may not attack him after all- or in his own words: “Maybe not all weasels have to craven, twisted, greedy, treacherous, toonicidal maniacs!” Thus, he makes a series of half-baked and inevitably failed attempts to greet his new neighbor with a friendly housewarming gift, in hopes of helping him “overcome his weaselism”- baring the ugly face of irrational fear and prejudice even in someone as innocent as Roger. As it turns out, Beanie is good-natured and just wants to keep himself safe from trouble, as well as live somewhere quiet. This, especially with his use of the word “weaselcide”, implies that he’s faced assassination attempts (although Beanie himself seems to be jumping to conclusions as well, seeing as none of Roger’s antics would’ve done him any bodily harm). Roger’s close shave with the police and unintentional damage to Beanie’s property is overwhelmingly ironic, but Beanie trusts Roger’s word and makes peace. Beanie wears a chocolate brown beanie cap (hence his name) over his stringy black hair, and a green “wife beater” shirt over a pink t-shirt. His muzzle is particularly sausage-like, emphasized by the wrinkles on his face. His rather gangly figure and messy appearance gives an altogether different impression from his apparent trustworthiness, which probably doesn’t help his reputation much. He also has a rather glaring lack of a tail- not even a stubby one like most others- which is most likely a mistake on the part of the artist who drew him in our world. Ace Cotton-Tailspin In this variation of the traditional little-car-vs.-big-car race cartoon, Roger’s and Benny’s foe is pretty much the weasel equivalent of Dick Dastardly. Looking suspiciously like Psycho except with shorter hair, proper clothing, and a sound mind, Ace here drives a big red talking muscle car named the “Weasel Diesel”. Despite his arrogance, he feels that it’s necessary to cheat in order to beat all the smaller cars that he pretends to be better than. Ace has dark brown fur and short spiky hair, and wears goggles the same color as his fur, which shape themselves to his constantly downturned, aggressive eyebrows. He wears a beige jacket, a yellow sweater, and a white scarf. We never see his lower half. Oddly, this particular story breaks the fourth wall and makes specific references to being in a comic, making one wonder if this is an in-universe comic book of Roger’s we’re looking at.

Squinty Cotton-Tailspin Ace’s goofy, round-eyed, chuckling partner-in-crime. Ace mentions having paid good money for winning the race, which brings into question the sincerity of their friendship. Whether or not Squinty here was paid to help him cheat, he certainly has a ball switching the signs to confuse the other drivers, delighting in their rottenness. Squinty wears a green army helmet for some reason, hiding some scruffy hair, and a matching green sweater that covers his Greasy-sized belly. He has no pants. For some reason he isn’t actually squinty at all. In fact, his eyes are quite round.

Four yet-to-be-named weasels On the front cover of the first issue of the Roger Rabbit comic book series This quartet of weasels shows with little restraint the general purpose that weasels serve in the world of Disney cartooning- as generic baddies. It’s been very much that way ever since Mr. Toad, where the differences between them were mostly the colors of their sweaters, and it’s only because of the Toon Patrol that there’s any sort of variety. Nevertheless, the fact that these four only appear once in the background of the front cover of the first issue, shooting wildly from a speeding car at Roger and Benny for no particular reason other than they’re the bad guys and therefore out to do Roger harm, show very clearly the appointed role that weasels serve- these four are nameless and without any discernible personalities other than “angry bad guy”, and are only seen in a single drawing. The fact that this cover has next to nothing to do with the stories inside other than showing who the main characters are seems to imply that whoever designed this cover was set on saying to the buyer, “Hey! This series has weasels as the bad guys, just like the movie!” Interestingly, the two stories in the issue both have weasels in them, as if to fulfill the promises to the reader- funny that one of them would question the bad guy status of toon weasels with the appearance of Beanie. These four weasels’ costumes emphasize their genericness- all but one of them wear nearly identical trench coat and fedora combos, one red with a pink hat band, one green with an orange hat band, and one orange with a green hat band. The fourth is actually somewhat unusual, wearing a matching hot pink jacket and bowler with a notch in front, a red narrow tie, a bright yellow buttoned shirt (the buttons having no particular use, reminiscent of Dagwood’s shirt), and bright green pants. Overall this makes him look less like LA in the ‘40s and more like someone contemporary of the Wright Brothers. Only the one in orange has his mouth closed, while the others all seem be wordlessly roaring- the one in green even has his tongue waggling about.

Innumerable The Wind in the Willows segment of The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad Despite the fact that Agent von Weasel and Br’er Weasel are the very first weasels to be created by Disney, they’ve been limited entirely to newspaper strips and comic books and aren’t very well known- and in Br’er Weasel’s case, especially outside of Europe. The Disney weasels that truly started it all come from this unassuming package film released in 1949, and have since served as the basic mold for almost all weasels since then. Unlike Br’er Weasel, who is a fully developed villain (especially nowadays), the nameless weasels in the first half of this film singlehandedly established the weasels’ status as a generic bad guy, due to the fact that most of them are a nearly identical horde of lower-class British hoodlums in turtleneck sweaters, newsboy caps, featureless pants and shoes. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t until the “Heffalumps and Woozles” sequence in the 1968 Winnie the Pooh short Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day that Disney depicted a weasels’ bare feet, and even then it would seem that in WFRR they took their inspiration from England’s Disney-refugee David Hand (check out Ginger Nutt’s Christmas Circus). And until the creation of the Toon Patrol, hardly any other weasels besides the Woozles would completely break the mold that Mr. Toad established, meaning nearly all weasels who weren’t antagonizing Chip ‘n’ Dale wore shoes and looked almost exactly like the original designs. Only two of the weasels in Mr. Toad are distinguishable from the rest- the cigar- smoking one in the bowler and jacket who appears to be the leader (whose clothes changes color more than once), and the one carrying a rifle and guarding the ill-gained Toad Hall, who also wears a jacket. These two are the ones most often copied. The weasels’ clothing consists of these varieties total: Light pink, pink, bright red, baby blue, salmon, pale green, olive green, grey blue, violet, orange, purple, burnt yellow, grey green, medium grey, dark grey, magenta, emerald, orange with burnt orange stripes, coral, green, pea soup green, lime green, orange yellow, red orange, pale red, light brown, grey green, orange cream, and mint green sweaters Olive green, dark green, orange, light brown, dark violet, dark blue, medium grey, dark brown, dark grey, emerald, purple, grey green, crimson, pea soup green, burnt orange, bright red, green, and lime green jackets (some of which have buttons on the back) An orange sweater with what appears to be a jacket collar, and another in pale green with two black stripes A brown green vest Dark blue, dark violet, grey, dark grey, light grey, purple, brown, light brown, medium grey, peanut butter brown, pale green, black, light blue, burnt yellow, grey blue, grey green, pea soup green, crimson, dark green, brown green, and lavender pants (all of which have suspenders hidden underneath their sweaters) Beige, light peach, pale green, peanut butter brown, light brown, brown, medium grey, purple, green, burnt yellow, burnt yellow with checker pattern, orange, lime green, baby blue, light grey, yellow, burnt orange, and lavender newsboy caps Light grey, medium grey, brown, lavender, grey green, light brown, light blue, lime green, green, grey blue, pea soup green, orange yellow, pale green, lime green with a black band, and green bowlers Grey, brown, dark green, dark grey, black, and dark brown shoes White and light brown(?) gloves (these appear to be very long for the most part- perhaps elbow length!) Yellow-and-pink-striped socks (with a hole revealing disturbingly human-like toes) Light brown and medium grey top hats Beige and grey blue beaten hats of some other kind And a baby blue fedora with a black band Although this may be due to the age of the film, it’s interesting to notice that their clothes aren’t as brightly colored as future weasels’ clothes would be. Looking closely, one can see that they don’t have a different color on their bellies and necks to match their muzzles, unlike the Toon Patrol and most weasels after them. Also, they’re not safe from this movie’s embarrassing tendency to put human fingernails on supposedly animalistic hands... And of course, we see many more in both versions of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, especially the Disney World version. Both of them may very well have been the general public’s main source of “weasellyness” before the creation of the Toon Patrol, since The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad isn’t exactly a well-loved classic. The variety of costumes and their colors is much more flexible, mostly due to the introduction of stripe patterns (which are very rare in the film, despite an example being seen very clearly in the model sheet). The varieties seen in both versions of the ride consist of: Black, pink, pink with two blue stripes, blue, bright red with black stripes, orange with yellow band, coral, white with a blue stripe, grey and black and teal stripes, grey purple, and emerald sweaters Brown, green, lime green, and dark blue or grey(?) jackets Beige, aqua pinstripe, dark grey, medium grey, dark brown, and black pants An orange vest Brown, dark brown, grey blue, olive green, red, grey, and bright green newsboy caps Black, pink, and light grey bowlers Black and brown shoes White and light brown gloves Black-and-white striped prison outfits There is one known comic book adaptation of the film, and there’s the possibility of children’s books having original stories as well. So far, though, there’s only a handful of known illustrations, all of which lack a corresponding story, and the weasels therein nothing new. They all have seasonal themes- Summer and Winter. For Summer (at least that’s what it looks like), Mr. Toad, Rat, Mole, and MacBadger are having a jolly good picnic by the river. Two starving weasels emerge from the tall grass and attempt to grab a morsel of their rich-people desserts. The first, wearing a dark red sweater, a burnt yellow cap, and beige gloves, gets hot tea poured onto his nose by the distracted, apparently absent-minded Rat- which is ironic because he’s being distracted by Mr. Toad trying to bring the weasel to their attention. The second (who seems to not have a mouth), wearing a blue green sweater, a red cap, and brown gloves, takes advantage of Mole’s clumsy falling and catches the spilling cupcakes and petit fours in a net. For Winter, we see a weasel being pulled out of the icy water of a partially frozen pond by his sweater, held by triumphant Cyril Proudbottom’s teeth. His clothes consist of a dirty yellow cap, beige gloves, a bright red sweater, lavender pants, and brown shoes. Actually, what’s very distinctive about this poor fellow is the look of shame and guilt on his face- it’s almost as though he regrets the path he’s chosen, now that he’s seen the embarrassing spot he’s found himself in as a result.

Mugsy, Bugsy, Pugsy, and Percival Well, YOU Name It! In a story that deliberately does away with any linear logic or attempt to take itself seriously, you can imagine that if there were any weasels in it, they’d be the silliest weasels ever. Well, you’d be right- that’s just the case here. Meet Mugsy, Bugsy, Pugsy, and Percival, a quartet of indistinguishable yet marginally interesting weasels who work for a pair of talking pants, named Fancy Pants. They’re very short, and have circular eyes, but their muzzles are more or less standard. Their fur is a solid brown color with no markings of any kind, unless their hidden bellies have something, which I doubt. They all wear loose-fitting dark blue trench coats and fedoras, pants and shoes that change from stark black to two shades of brown, including light blue socks, and of course white Mickey-style gloves. They’re probably the least intimidating weasels you’ve ever seen, especially when they get scared of the Dreaded Flying Pizzas. Yes, that’s right- flying pizzas. Apparently they’re threatening because Fancy Pants’ collection of pants- which is a result of his quest for another pair of talking pants to “share his life of loneliness” (have you ever tried the personal ads?)- would be badly stained by their pizza sauce and leave Fancy Pants with a horrendous cleaning bill that would bankrupt him. What isn’t explained is why the pizzas would want to do this, or how Fancy Pants makes any money stealing other people’s pants. He does mention that he’s the boss of “one of the more reputable crime syndicates in Toontown”, so one would assume that committing other (smalltime) crimes would be the only way to become “reputable”. Also, my only guess as to why the weasels would be scared of these pizzas is because being bankrupt would make them lose their salaries, which is the only reason I can think of as to why they would want to work for a pair of talking pants. Then again, it could be because they’re wimps and don’t want hot cheese flung into their faces. See, I told you this story was silly. You try to apply logic to it, and you find that it’s a big mess- but when you think about it, that’s the beauty of it: it’s completely insane. They’re toons, for crying out loud! For once, the standards that weasels normally have to live up to have to be forgotten, although I notice they’re still criminals who kidnap Roger- albeit to steal his pants. Like the story with Ace and Squinty, there’s a joke that breaks the fourth wall, making this another contender for a Roger Rabbit comic that exists in his world.

Smartass clone (1) Somebunny to Love As if things couldn’t get more confusing, out comes what appears to be Smartass himself, making himself a foe once again. A more ignorant fan would probably say, “Hey! Isn’t he the weasel who wore pink in the movie?” But it doesn’t take a whole lot of thinking to realize that this couldn’t be him, because he died in the movie. First of all, if you read the first issue of this series, you’ll immediately know that the stories take place after the movie, mostly because Eddie says that he isn’t able to take Roger’s case, and Rick Flint- another detective- fills in for him for the rest of the series, probably because Disney didn’t want to pay Bob Hoskins for the use of his likeness. There’s little doubt that Eddie met Roger for the first time in WFRR. There isn’t complete agreement over whether or not a Dipped toon’s soul ever appears and goes to heaven or hell- many have noticed that Smartass doesn’t appear as an angel, bringing into question the nature of his death- but everyone seems to agree that it’d take a lot to bring the Toon Patrol back to life, and Disney certainly doesn’t want to. So since Smartass is dead, who the heck is this poorly-drawn copycat, anyway? All we know about him is that he works for Hilda Grutsch, a gossip columnist. He’s hanging around Toontown, and spies Nellie Vladeck, the president of Roger’s fanclub, wandering around looking for Roger. This raises the suspicion that Roger is cheating on Jessica, and so this weasel acts as an informant and sends Nellie to Hilda. He then promptly disappears. From what little we see of him, his personality certainly does match Smartass well. He apparently has a map of all toon stars’ homes, which likely is his means of spying on them, and seems to be the only reason he knows where Roger lives- unless you really want to infer more from his statement that he and Roger are personal friends. In fact, this statement makes him particularly Smartass-like, since he’s obviously lying and it makes it sound like they’re actually sworn enemies- which implies that the two have met each other in the past, which further implies that he had something to do with Judge Doom... which is all a big stretch of the imagination, really, but I get the feeling that the writers meant it that way. But still, Smartass is dead, so we can only theorize who this fellow is- especially since there is no implication that he was somehow brought back to life whatsoever. The most likely explanation- which at the same time is the most ridiculous sounding- is that he’s deliberately copying Smartass’s fashion sense and mannerisms in an attempt to emulate him. Could it be that the Toon Patrol is so idolized among weasels that certain weasels copy them? The idea that the Toon Patrol are considered martyrs of some kind is a strange one. But I guess even weasels have their obsessive nutcases... it might explain the Greasy copycat that comes later.

Nightwing weasels Stork Raving Mad! In a blatant attempt to sprinkle some weaselly badness into this story, in order to make it clear that Mr. Doppt (a Sydney Greenstreet wannabe who has recently joined the Lollipop Guild) is the bad guy, these weasels have been dropped into scenes with no further explanation. Whatever role they play within the Nightwing Infant Placement Company (a corrupt stork toon-baby-delivery service) is completely and utterly unknown. One wears a lime green suit, a matching hat that looks like a cross between a bowler and a fedora, a yellow tie, and a white shirt. The other, who appears less often and out of nowhere, wears a blue checkered newsboy cap and a sweater with squiggly blue and white stripes.

Freep and Freep Hare Apparent If there’s one stock comic character that’s also absurdly generalized, it’s corrupt lawyers. Here, we see that weasels are regarded to be none too different from lawyers, as seen by Freep and Freep, two nearly identical weasels who are in charge of overseeing the inheritance of the Vander-Rabbit fortune. With decidedly large foreheads, banana-like muzzles, baggy eyes, and a tendency to speak in perfect unison, the only difference between these two is that one has a much lighter fur color- one that resembles coffee with a lot of cream, which is unusual. What’s also unique is the color of their bellies, which is actually darker than the rest of their fur. They also have lines on their faces that normally indicate a different fur color, but the colorists didn’t bother to make a distinction for some reason. Their outfits match as well, consisting of robin’s-egg blue tuxedo jackets, red bow ties, yellow shirt fronts, and white undershirts. And who can forget the white gloves? Lawyers and weasels are apparently always “splitting hares”, so when Roger turns out to greatly resemble the late Vander-Rabbit, making him a potential heir, they insist on him being able to fit in with high society- at which he fails miserably. Once a doctor comes and reveals that he doesn’t have the family birthmark and instead only has measles, Freep and Freep try to throw him out- only to be told that the entire mansion is quarantined due to Roger’s measles. Weasels with the measles... I wonder if that was intentional.

Otis The Great Toon Detective Otis doesn’t really look much like a weasel- he’s one of those rare weasels that further exaggerate the Mr. Toad base, winding up looking more like Wile E. Coyote- but when the dialogue says he’s a weasel, even if it would’ve been otherwise ambiguous, he’s a weasel. Otis, surprisingly, makes an honest living working at the Miller’s Fireworks factory, which presumably provides fireworks for both humans and cartoon studios, if the presence of a face on one of them is any indication. Of course, just because he works there doesn’t mean he enjoys it. Otis has broad cheeks, a wriggly muzzle, round eyes, and interestingly, a different color on top of his muzzle. He wears a light green work shirt with rolled up sleeves, a white apron with the words “Miller’s Fireworks” on it, dark grey pants, white gloves, and a slate-colored safety helmet. Otis spends most of the story having to deal Roger’s clumsiness, which causes several skyrockets to go off and does serious damage to the walls. Not only that, Roger automatically assumes that Otis is the person who kidnaps and imprisons them, leaving them for dead as they’re about to get blown up- just because he’s a weasel. It of course turns to be the president of the company, Mr. Miller, who seems to be intending to blow up Maroon Cartoons because of the money he’s going to lose due to Maroon having the next presidential campaign be on their television station’s commercials, instead of relying on pyrotechnic displays. (It gets even more convoluted than that, if you can believe it.) Even after getting frustrated with Roger’s destruction and being wrongly accused, it’s doubtful that Otis gets anything to compensate for it, seeing as the factory will probably shut down and go out of business now that the president has been jailed.

Handcuffed weasel On the front cover of the first issue of the Roger Rabbit’s Toontown comic book series Amongst the crowd cheering for a parade apparently honoring Maroon Cartoons’ biggest stars is a weasel who’s handcuffed to a cop, and has managed to get his key and is unlocking it while the cop isn’t looking. He’s your fairly typical Mr. Toad-based weasel, with a sweater and bowler. One thing that makes him stand out is his misshapen muzzle, and stubble-like whiskers. His coloration is unknown, due to the fact that the color blue is used to represent shadows.

“Salty” (named by Criswell) On the front cover of the third issue of the Roger Rabbit’s Toontown comic book series Amongst the crowd of seafaring types who are getting ready to pummel the living daylights out of Roger and Baby Herman stands a weasel rolling up his sleeves to prepare a mighty sailor punch. He wears a typical sailor outfit, as if you couldn’t guess.

Stan I have seen the Future and it is... Rutabagas? It’s difficult to say whether or not Stan really exists, because he only appears within Roger’s rutabaga-fueled nightmares. Still, his dream is disturbingly prophetic, predicting the rise of rock ‘n’ roll through parodies of Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis, as well as cheesy children’s television programs with scruffy-looking clowns. When Jessica bakes Roger a “Jonatoon” rutabaga pie, which doesn’t agree with Roger because he prefers “MacIntoon” rutabagas, he dreams of a future that is caused by the bad decision to switch to a television animation studio and leave Maroon Cartoons. Despite it supposedly being only a decade later, Roger and Jessica are old and weary and have terrible jobs. Jessica works for the “Appallo Theater” (haha get it?), and her boss is Stan, the weasel. Oh, what horrid fate to have a weasel be your boss, when they are your sworn enemies! It’d be a dream come true for a weasel to lord it over Jessica, but you know how cartoon justice wouldn’t allow it. Stan seems to be a really cranky, short-tempered guy, losing patience with Jessica for nearly being late to do one of her three jobs at the Appallo Theater. He wears a bright orange jacket and bright yellow pants, with a white dress shirt and a black tie. His muzzle has a line that would usually indicate a lighter color, but the artist forgot to have it end somewhere. He also has blunt, rounded teeth, and a short hairdo that suggests that he uses Brylcreem. I suppose it’s just as well that his existence is dubious, because he’s a real jerk and doesn’t seem to be at all happy. That, and he’s kind of weird looking.

Misc. WFRR video game adaptations Although these include at least some of the Toon Patrol members (but never all of them, strangely enough), the Gameboy version (at least) has some weasels who don’t look like any of them. I thought it would be useful to know who’s in which game, though. First up is the version for various PCs, like the Apple II, Amiga, and plain ol’ DOS from 1988. ... The NES version, from 1989, has Smartass and Stupid, and nothing more. The Gameboy version from the same year adds Psycho and Greasy, but it also includes generic weasel enemies that don’t resemble the others. One variation pops out of a manhole to shoot you (Roger) with what’s presumably a tommy gun. It looks almost as if Smartass decided to wear nothing but long-johns... There’s a variation of this guy who walks above ground as well, and this time he wears a black vest, making him look like Wheezy without his hat (these guys are the most plentiful enemies in this game). Another one (although it looks an awful lot like a teddy bear) pops out of a trash can and throws tin cans at you with both hands. A third, which has an equally featureless outfit as the first, pops out of a window and shoots you. In both of them, Wheezy is nowhere to be seen. Which is odd, seeing as the weasels with tommy guns are obviously derivative of him.

Unconfirmed weasels Various Roger Rabbit comics One works for a casino- but with his short snout, squinty eyes, and whiskers, he could be any number of mustelids. He also lacks ears. The other is far too goofy-looking to truly be a weasel, what with his pencil neck and almost banana-shaped face- and most of all his buck teeth.

Weasels in stories taking place after c. 1947 to today: (Note: Since most of these stories presumably take place in a time contemporary to their release, they are listed in chronological order.) (Note: The dogface variably known as Scuttle or Yardarm, among other things, is simply NOT a weasel, despite all claims, and never will be as long as he has those long floppy ears.)

“Peaceful” (named by Fatal) How to be a Detective As part of Goofy’s classic “How To” series, this short pokes fun at the “gritty realism” of detective fiction, making it resemble a game of Clue. According to the narrator, one of the requirements of being a detective is to have a “shady or suspicious character”. Who fulfills this requirement? Why, a weasel, of course! Predating the opening of Disneyland and Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in 1955, this short came out in 1952 and thus marks the first appearance of a Disney weasel after the 1949 film. Since Agent von Weasel and Br’er Weasel were clearly not in the hearts and minds of the public, Disney began it’s long-lived tradition of copying the Mr. Toad designs almost entirely in the majority of future weasel appearances. Even after the creation of the Toon Patrol, the basic body type and muzzle shape are still the norm with few exceptions. Peaceful here is an almost exact copy of the weasel guarding Toad Hall with a rifle, with a dark green jacket (later light grey), red sweater, red newsboy cap (which later becomes a beret, of all things), dark olive green pants, dark brown shoes, and white gloves (although this time the gloves look like Mickey’s- and they too change color, becoming sort of a brownish grey). Also, he has rounder eyes than usual, making it obvious that he was created in the ‘50s. (Disney had a tendency to make eyes very circular then...) Interestingly, his voice is totally unlike all other weasels, who mostly have high nasal voices- instead, he has an almost inappropriately low and growling voice with an American accent. While it fits the American setting of the short, it’s odd that he wouldn’t have a lower- class British accent, like we see in Mickey’s Christmas Carol- perhaps the audience accepted the American accent because few weasels before him had any lines. And that’s a fact- the weasels in Mr. Toad were mostly silent, save for a few random things like indistinct singing, cheering, snoring, yelling, perhaps some shouts of “Get ‘im!” and “After it!”, and the one guarding Toad Hall who says “Who goes there?”. All the ones before them were from comics. Thus, Peaceful is the first to speak in complete sentences. Peaceful is certainly devious- despite lacking a real gun at first (it’s actually a cigarette lighter), he beats the snot out of Goofy, drugs his drink, disguises himself as an elevator operator, and robs Pete of his wallet at gunpoint. After an obligatory zany car chase, it’s revealed that he is in fact a Justice of the Peace (hence his name)! He marries Pete (known as “Al” in this short) with an unknown woman. What with committing all those crimes, he couldn’t possibly be a very good one.

Pop Weasel Chip ‘n’ Dale comics Pop Weasel may very well be the most obscure of the few weasels who appear more than once, due to his remarkably miniscule career- two comics in 1959, and another one in 1982, of all things. He is also a more realistic Disney weasel (others being even more realistic), with a long tail and a short muzzle, as well as brown fur and a white-furred belly- his muzzle and neck are completely brown, unlike other weasels and ones in real life. He also runs on all fours when he’s chasing his prey. His eyes frequently have wrinkles underneath them, which gives him sort of a desperate look. In some printings he’s completely white, as if he were an ermine. In all three stories, little can be inferred about his personality from the few panels he appears in, but they mostly seem to indicate that he has a fairly run-of-the-mill bad-guy predator personality- especially since his dialogue emphasizes his desire to eat. It also seems that he’s somewhat picky about his prey from the way he carelessly tosses a squirrel (who would technically be around his size) over his shoulder after being convinced that Chip ‘n’ Dale would be tastier. He also has a “lair”, which is simply a hollow log. And a “backyard”, apparently, whatever that means. His third and final appearance decades later gives him a radical redesign, which mostly involves the reshaping of his muzzle into a more blunt form of the standard weasel muzzle, as well as becoming red-brown with new white cheeks. He also gets reduced to snarling and growling, with an abundance of spittle, as he climbs a tree to eat Chip ’n’ Dale in three panels total. If it weren’t for the fact that Chip ‘n’ Dale refer to him as “Pop Weasel”, he’d be a completely different character. It’s interesting to note that there’s an incarnation of Br’er Weasel that looks suspiciously like Pop Weasel, but we go by names here. (Note: There is a Gottfredson-created character named “Pop Weezil”, but it appears that he’s just a generic mouse-like hillbilly, and that his name doesn’t mean anything.)

Alf & Toff Out to Launch Disney comics have a far greater tendency to crossover characters from the company’s animation output than the animation itself does, and this story is a very good example: Jiminy Cricket visits England and meets Mole and Rat from Disney’s adaptation of The Wind in the Willows, the heart of the Disney weasel phenomenon until WFRR. Because of that film’s strong association with weasels, it seems almost obligatory to include them in any story taking place in and near Toad Hall. This is indeed what they do, and if you don’t count the two versions of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, this is one of the few Mr. Toad-related offshoot stories, and the only one known to have weasels, so it makes the second (or third) and final use of the weasels in their original context. The premise here is that Mr. Toad is finally cured of his “motormania” (I wouldn’t bet my money on that, since he still has it in his cameos in House of Mouse), but when a yellow motor launch (a motorized boat) starts causing havoc all around the riverside, he’s immediately suspected. As it turns out, two “tough-looking” weasels (as they are known at INDUCKS, despite the mention of their names) had escaped from jail and decided to lay blame on Mr. Toad by stealing the motor launch and wrecking stuff just for laughs. After they have their fun, they intend to sell it. Jiminy Cricket, the goody-two-shoes he is (what do you expect out of an official conscience?) plays the hero and runs off with the motor launch. The weasels jump onto it and threaten him with a gun (gasp!), which inspires Jiminy to jump off and let the boat crash into some rocks. They’re later “apprehended”, and Jiminy gets a reward for assisting with their capture. Personality-wise, Alf and Toff are indistinguishable, and mostly remind me of the later Mr. Toad-based weasel in Mickey’s Christmas Carol “Nosey” (who I fully describe later). They take obvious glee in the suffering and misfortune they’ve caused for others- not to mention damage of private property- which is one of the key traits of Disney weasels. Actually, this may be the earliest instance of such a trait, although it’s more likely that the WFRR team was thinking more along the lines of the two in Mickey’s Christmas Carol instead of an obscure one-shot comic book. Appearance-wise, Alf and Toff wear the standard weasel fare- both wear bowlers and pants of slightly different shades of blue, while Alf wears a bright purple jacket (which, unusually, is buttoned in the middle instead of being open) and a white shirt, and Toff wears a bright orange turtleneck. Their fur is completely brown, but a close look at the lineart reveals that the artist who drew them intended them to have a differently colored muzzle as per usual- so their completely brown fur could be interpreted as a coloring error.

“Feral” (named by Fatal) The Small Sensation Jiminy is obviously not hindered by being a resident of Italy, for in the very same issue that Alf and Toff appear in, another story has him and his overconfident and resourceful cousin “Junior” (how’s that for an original name?) face off a snarling, vicious weasel that borders on mid-century nature book illustration rather than cartooning. Because this weasel is the most realistic Disney weasel ever- although I doubt the artist used any reference- and displays nothing resembling toon nature or behavior, he’s been dubbed “Feral”. It almost looks as though he wandered in from Mark Trail and got lost in the Disney nick of the woods. I’m not sure what this guy’s doing growling and baring his teeth in a walnut tree for, but he’s obviously either really ticked at the two crickets or ready to eat them. In yet another story in this issue, two gophers Jiminy’s talking to mention a scrape with a weasel in passing, who may as well be this guy. Because this story also stars Grandma Duck, who puts an end to Br’er Fox’s and Br’er Weasel’s chicken/egg-stealing in another comic book, it would seem that Jiminy Cricket now lives in a Southern US forest. (What this means is that Jiminy could easily meet Chip ‘n’ Dale, the Big Bad Wolf, and any number of “Br’ers” and “Sisses”. The trouble begins when another one of his stories co- stars the mice from Cinderella and the crow from either Snow White or Sleeping Beauty in a neo-medieval castle...)

“Stripey” (named by Fatal) “Pop Goes The Weasel” record Any record version of this song would require a weasel on the cover, and this Disneyland Records release is no different. Of course, he’s still another Mr. Toad type, with no distinction other than a short stature, what seems to be the suggestion of a stripe down his nose bridge (which is very interesting), and most noticeably his big friendly smile. Guess a snarling weasel wouldn’t seem so appealing to little kids that would want to buy this sort of stuff. The guy “pops” out of the mulberry bush, seemingly to the befuddlement of the monkey. He’s like, “Hey! Wasn’t I just chasing you a second ago?”

Weasel (1) Northeaster on Cape Quack If there is one thing that could be the worst of Crimes Against Weasels, it’s naming one of them just... plain... old... “Weasel”. Remaining unnamed, being given a generic personality or outfit, getting the snot kicked out of you... that’s all pretty familiar to a weasel. Remaining nameless at least gives you the chance to be nicknamed by fans like me. But of all names you could give a weasel, none could be stupider or more embarrassing than just “Weasel”. Worse, he looks suspiciously like Agent von Weasel (Weasel’s creator, the Duck- master Carl Barks, probably had an old newspaper on hand), and hardly does anything but get ordered to let the air out of an old man’s tires, after which he promptly disappears.

The Woozles The “Heffalumps and Woozles” sequence in Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day The Woozles are no doubt one of the stranger chapters in Disney weasel history. One could perhaps include A. A. Milne as an early contributor to the weasel myth, since he created the legendary Woozles (and the largely forgotten Wizzles) in his Pooh story “Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle” as part of the 1926 collection Winnie-the- Pooh... just second to Kenneth Grahame’s 1908 book The Wind in the Willows, which of course resulted in Mr. Toad. In Disney’s version, though- the 1968 short Blustery Day- the animator’s imaginations were clearly fired up, and expanded on the myth considerably. It all begins when the hyperactive Tigger makes his unexpected arrival, proceeds to help himself to Pooh’s beloved honey, and, being the fickle sort, quickly decides that it’s awful and “only fit for heffalumps and woozles”. Right from the beginning, we see that Tigger has a low regard for the mysterious creatures, and since he hates honey now, obviously only things as lowly as heffalumps and woozles are suited for it. Whether or not they’re truly different from elephants and weasels is never made clear, since even he-of-little-brain Pooh corrects his presumably honey-mangled pronunciation and is told that that’s what he said all along. It’s only when Tigger mentions their dastardly tendency to steal honey does hardcore honey addict Pooh becomes horrified by the very idea of their existence. Pooh finds that he can’t sleep while knowing his honey is in danger, and so guards it until he falls asleep. The very thought of his honey being stolen disturbs him deeply, and so Tigger’s brief description is blown far out of proportion in his nightmares about them. The lyrics of the song that follows show that when someone of very little brain has his most precious possession threatened, they nearly enter a state of panic- the words vividly describe their horrid natures and unearthly powers, sort of like when Y2K had people buying “Y2K- proof” garden hoses and believing that the world was coming to an end. The woozles themselves deviate from the Mr. Toad mold as previously mentioned in that they’re all stuffed animals and come in all sorts of bright colors and patterns, as well as some simplification of the shape of their heads. This sort of free-for-all variety makes for some interesting designs. First off, we have a green and yellow checkerboard heffalump transform into a woozle and back, and when it’s a woozle, it’s one of the few times we see one that’s walking on four (rather realistic-looking) legs. Next we see a long tall purple woozle for less than a second, wearing a tiny red t-shirt and a straw hat. He gives the audience a knowing grin and wiggles his eyebrows- what he’s trying to say is unclear, but it can assumed that he’s saying that his transformation skills are impressive. The next one has the design that forms the basis for all other woozles- a floppy stuffed doll with a large spherical nose and a sort of pear-shaped or orange slice-shaped head with small, somewhat rabbit-like ears at its tip. His tail is a lot thicker than his brethren, and is apparently used like Tigger’s. A woozle’s ability to bend reality becomes clear when the next one, a light blue one with a partial marching band outfit, expands his nose to become a long trumpet. There are three others like him marching behind, but without the brass-colored muzzles. The heffalump’s dominance in the minds of the artists also becomes apparent when one of them gets stomped on by the trunk/sousaphone-playing heffalump behind him. The next ones are a trio of tongue-lolling, chuckling jack-in-the-boxes, blue, red, and green, respectively. These are probably the creepiest. Next we have a blue one with large green eyes that seem bespectacled, wearing a large turban and playing some sort of faux-Indian reed instrument to do the old Indian-rope-trick bit. This one’s one of my personal favorites. The final purple-colored one certainly has a lot of dignity and polish, because he marches in with nearly a full marching uniform including purple boots and minus any pants, proudly lighting the heffalump that serves as cannon with an enormous match and great flourish. He wisely runs away from the explosion, though. (Brinatello of deviantArt has named this woozle “Basil”.) The tremendous sizes that woozles can achieve is made very obvious here in comparison to Pooh. What’s strange is that it’s obvious that the animators had a preference for the heffalumps due to their greater numbers in this sequence, and they remain far more popular to this very day. Woozles would play second banana to heffalumps from this point on, being seen less often than them in the TV series and the park attractions and finally having their spotlight taken away from them by the unbearably cutesy (yet admittedly entertaining) Pooh’s Heffalump Movie. Woozles have been a rare sight all throughout their career, and it can only be assumed that it’s because of the greater popularity of elephants over weasels. Perhaps the obvious similarity between this song and “Pink Elephants on Parade” has something to do with it...

Willie the Weasel Ground-Hog Day Willie the Weasel highly resembles Pop Weasel in his white winter coat, from what we see in the single illustration he appears in (this is the only other known case of a Disney weasel appearing in a text story). Nothing is known about him, and all he does is chase Chip ‘n’ Dale into a groundhog’s hole.

The “Laughin’ Weasels” America Sings If Song of the South and Country Bear Jamboree wasn’t proof enough that Disney had a love for the music of the south and Americana, then the opening of the America Sings attraction in 1974, two years after the opening of Bear Country, might convince you that Disney has a borderline obsession with our roots. America Sings replaced the Carousel of Progress, immediately placing a look into our past smack dab in the middle of a land focused on looking into the future- Tomorrowland, that is. It’s clear that the Imagineers had a pretty good idea about roots music, but very little idea about anything beyond the late Forties. This is proven by the scraggly hippie rock groups playing Elvis songs, which is, as far as I know, was not something any flower child was doing at the time, although “Crocodile Rock”, Phantom of the Paradise, Jim Croce and other such retro-revivalists first came out around this period. What does this have to do with weasels, you ask? Well, one of the characters in the attraction decides to sing “Pop Goes the Weasel”, inciting some random weasel to pop out of a door and sing the final words with a high-pitched giggle. He then randomly inserts the song’s ending in between almost every section of the show. Instead of having a classic weasel look, his face is short like a real weasel- almost too short, and somewhat dopey-looking- prompting some people to compare this particular design to a rodent. America Sings did fairly well, but when the Imagineers needed a cheap way to create new characters for the upcoming Splash Mountain, it was closed, and almost all the animatronics were used for that ride, including the weasels. Because the weasel had to pop out in each scene of America Sings, there were several figures, so this single weasel effectively multiplied. Since then, they’ve popped out of holes and presumably sang along with the song “Everybody’s Got a Laughin’ Place”. In Disneyland, they currently wear newsboy caps of various colors- the newsboy cap strikes again! Because of their somewhat annoying tendency to giggle a lot in their original appearance, and their current home in the Laughin’ Place scene, they’ve been dubbed the “Laughin’ Weasels”.

Viggo Weasel Fruitful Collaboration Having recently come across a copy of a Norwegian Disney title, Donald Duck & Co., from 1975, we were greatly surprised to find a Danish Song of the South/Big Bad Wolf story with... a weasel. I had never heard of this variation of Br’er Weasel- and no wonder, he’s not listed on the story’s Inducks page, probably because he never really appeared again. Doing further research, this is not Br’er Weasel. In Norway, he’s usually called Røyskatta (Norwegian for stoat), while this new guy is named Viggo Vesel. He apparently appears a fair number number of times in other Germanic comics, all seemingly isolated incidents of Br’er Weasel ignorance that just happen to have the same name and Mr. Toad-like appearance as far as I can tell. The name is also given to Pop Weasel in the country. Confusingly, a character called Ivar Ilder also appears with a design identical to the otter-ish Br’er Weasel as he appears in the ‘58 story “Dough Re Mi”. But he’s neither a weasel nor otter, but a polecat! (“Ilder” means polecat.) Viggo is barely any different from the Mr. Toad mold. His fur is grey, his cap is blue, and he wears a red-and-white striped shirt, a black jacket, and blue pants. His most distinguishing features, besides his fur, are his bare feet and thin tail.

Sidney “Mickey and the Sleuth” comic book series Once again, obscure Disney comic books prove to be a real pain in the neck- just like how difficult finding Br’er Weasel’s stuff will be- with the discovery of this fellow from this European series that parodies Sherlock Holmes. Mickey essentially plays Dr. Watson’s part (despite the presence of a Dr. Watson parody), and works for the brainless detective “The Sleuth”. The comics also have a Prof. Moriarty parody, by the name of Prof. Nefarious. And what’s a Disney villain without some minions? And since the stories take place in London... one of them is a weasel! You wonder why they’re not used more often. While at first you might doubt that he’s a weasel due to his flesh-tone fur (which makes him look like an ordinary dogface), a closer look reveals the basic muzzle shape, the cheek tufts, and Mr. Toad-based clothing that make your usual weasel. The latter consists of a sweater that’s usually red, a bowler that’s usually blue or black, pants that are usually blue, and shoes that are usually brown or yellow. Because of the comic book industry’s tendency to not bother with a definite color scheme, this is rarely consistent. Otherwise, his design is troublesome: his round, beady eyes express wide-eyed fascination, while his happy, eager smile makes him look like the most doggone friendly weasel ever- even more so than Beanie! If it weren’t for his obvious crime-committing, you wouldn’t think that he was a bad guy. Our only hope for figuring out what his beef is is to read all of the comics, which may prove difficult, since they’re mostly in European languages and aren’t printed anymore.

Bully Weasel Once Upon a Wish Bully Weasel strongly resembles Pop Weasel’s second incarnation, and may explain why Pop Weasel looks like that in the first place, because this story was published mere months after Pop Weasel’s third appearance and likely drawn by the same artist. The only real differences between them are Bully’s lack of a face mask and his grey colored fur. Bully lives up to his name, because he doesn’t hunt Chip ‘n’ Dale so much as he does tease them and play sadistic games by grabbing their tails and not letting go, while they try to escape and consequently get their tails painfully yanked. Bully must have a pretty good grip. Bully gets defeated by having stuff thrown at his head. And by chipmunk-centric wishing star-enchanted walnuts that fly through the air the second time around, no less.

Wes Weasel The Lost Umbrella Wes Weasel looks nearly exactly and acts exactly like Bully, and appeared only one issue after, so he may be in fact Bully with a different name, but with Whitman Comics’ cheap production, and the chipmunks’ broken English, it’s rather hard to say. As it turns out, Jiminy Cricket’s umbrella is enchanted with the Blue Fairy’s magic, and it is when he waggles it at someone that they’re compelled to do as he says, rather than, say, Jiminy’s guilt-inducing persuasiveness that you’ve assumed all these years. Why it didn’t work on Pinocchio is anybody’s guess. When he loses it in a windstorm, it winds up in the paws of Wes, who naturally uses it to make people do what he wants- such as making Thumper hop backwards. Wes/Bully may have been smart enough to figure out that it wasn’t an ordinary umbrella, but I think it’s safe to say his antagonizing needs work.

“Nosey” (named by Fatal) Mickey’s Christmas Carol Once again, Disney chose to essentially copy their Mr. Toad weasels for the decidedly nostalgic Mickey’s Christmas Carol, which gave many of their classic characters their first roles in decades. This was less than a year before WFRR, so it was truly a sign of things to come- namely, the classic cartoon revival. This short and WFRR were pretty much being made at the same time, so Disney was clearly showing new interest in those crazy weasels from 1949. It’s interesting to note that in the time taking place in between The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, How to be a Detective, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride and Mickey’s Christmas Carol and Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, there was a distinct lack of prominent weasels as they were mostly stuck in the comics. Only the Woozles are of any real importance to mass culture. (Oddly enough, though, there was a DuckTales episode with Mr. Toad-type weasels in it before the release of WFRR...) What this means is that there was an initial enthusiasm for the newsboy cap variety, and then an enormous burst of new weasels following the shockwave of WFRR, due to the highly distinctive personalities and prominent roles of the Toon Patrol. It was very wise for Disney to deviate so much from the Mr. Toad weasels, because otherwise there’d be hardly any variety. For a few brief years, weasels were the new go-to bad guys, much like the Beagle Boys of Donald and Scrooge comics. And so, these two humble gravediggers seen in the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come sequence essentially represent the beginning of a new era for Disney weasels. It’s too bad, really, that they’re onscreen only for a few seconds. Nosey has the typically used design of the leader with a bowler, and marks the second time we hear a weasel speak in full sentences, the first being How to be a Detective. In fact, if you don’t count the Woozles, this is the first time we’ve seen a true weasel be animated since that short. He wears a dark brown bowler, an olive green jacket, a crimson sweater, dark red pants, and grey green shoes, almost exactly like the design he’s based off of. Interestingly, neither of them wear gloves, which is really the first time we’ve seen the bare hands of a standard-type weasel. The two of them serve pretty much the same purpose as the charwoman, the laundress, and the undertaker in the original story, in that they reveal to Scrooge just how worthless he is to the world around him and how no one will miss him. Nosey is very much a lower class British stereotype, with a nasal Cockney accent. In an interview, Wayne Allwine reveals that he voiced him, and discusses his use of his nose to create the voice- hence the character’s name. Isn’t it quite the contrast that the voice of Mickey at the time should voice a weasel, who by all means represents everything that Mickey isn’t?

“Lorry” (named by Fatal) Mickey’s Christmas Carol Lorry is named after his voice like Nosey, which is an impression of Peter Lorre. His clothes consist of a dark green newsboy cap which constantly covers his eyes, an emerald green sweater with a large red band, grey pants, and brown shoes. He shares his amusement with Nosey concerning Scrooge’s pathetic funeral. One easily notices his long cigarette, which he carelessly tosses away, barely even begun (unless it was really stinkin’ long). The two of them are probably based on the model sheet used for Mr. Toad, seeing as a weasel with a cap covering his eyes and another with a striped sweater are prominently shown- and there’s of course the one with the bowler. It’s interesting to note that the original 1974 LP version of Mickey’s Christmas Carol, which has several differences in casting choices, names the two gravediggers- Charlie and Harold- but there’s no indication that they’re weasels in this version, especially since their voices are different and there are no illustrations depicting them. lawyer weasel DuckTales season 1, episode #11- “Duckman of Aquatraz” There would certainly be very few greater victories that a weasel could achieve than to have Scrooge McDuck found guilty of grand theft and thrown in jail. No doubt he’s working for Glomgold. I wonder how much he’s being paid? His lawyer suit is all business, of course- a sharp dark green jacket and pants, a purple vest with a single yellow (likely gold) button, a white buttoned shirt, a black tie and black shoes. And yet somehow it couldn’t be as satisfying as messing with the Mouse himself... and one lucky weasel does just that, which I describe later in this guide.

Shifty DuckTales season 1, episode #30- “Horse Scents” Shifty, along with his officially unnamed partner, represent the most recent of weasels who come from the basic mold of the two most distinctive ones in Mr. Toad (unless you count some of the ones in House of Mouse)- the guard and the seeming leader- meaning Shifty wears a bowler, jacket, sweater, pants and shoes of various shades of purple (his bowler and jacket are two-toned, interestingly). The two engage in what could easily be considered typical weasel behavior: making mischief and stealing under the orders of somebody who has money and power. Namely, working for Flintheart Glomgold, shooting darts at Scrooge’s horse at his orders, teasing an elderly photographer by playing monkey-in-the-middle with his camera and causing it to break, and kidnapping Scrooge’s horse for money, also at Glomgold’s orders. Luckily for the good guys, none of these work. Shifty plays the smart one in yet another “smart bad guy, dumb bad guy” duo, insulting his partner whenever he asks a stupid question. The hierarchy in weaseldom certainly is explicit- who can question that he’s the higher-ranking of the two? In some ways, he’s a little overconfident.

“Curious” (named by Fatal) DuckTales season 1, episode #30- “Horse Scents” Curious, as previously indicated, plays the dumb bad guy role. This time it’s different though, as he is shorter than Shifty and just as skinny, instead of being taller and more heavily built like the others. He proves his lack of intelligence by asking stupid questions and saying stupid things, similar to Gracie Allen. Seeing as he practically begs Shifty for a share of the money, it can be assumed that Shifty gets the lion’s share and that Curious is poorly paid and downtrodden. Curious’ clothes consist of none other than variations of the Toad Hall guard’s clothes, with a red cap, a two-toned berry red jacket, a dark blue grey sweater, dark violet pants, and crimson shoes. It is worth mentioning that Curious here has almost exactly same voice as “Sleazy”, except a little more whispery. But seeing as he doesn’t resemble him very much, it’s best to assume that whoever played him happened to do a voice that was considered appropriate for a generic weasel. Or in the world these characters live in, Sleazy’s younger brother. (Note: Currently I have not seen all the episodes, so it is unclear what exact time period DuckTales is supposed to take place. Carl Barks maniac Don Rosa would argue that Donald Duck’s and Scrooge McDuck’s adventures took place in the ‘50s, in Carl Barks’ heyday, but he undoubtedly considers this series apocryphal, so would it really matter?)

Australian weasels DuckTales season 1, episode #40- “Back Out in the Outback” Those who are reading this may have observed that weasels are almost always on the wrong side of the tracks, generally lower class, and are either American or British. Even when they wear fancy clothes, it’s easy to assume that it was ill-gained. Well, now you can add Australian to your list of weasel nationalities! (Unless you count Agent von Weasel, who looks to be fairly well-to-do and is obviously German.) Once again, we see this pair working for a larger, more authoritative boss, like so many others, and it can be assumed that they’re to be paid for their obedience and cooperation. This time, a big hulking dogface with the classic Aussie khaki getup (he might as well be called “Bruce”) wants the opal mine that’s hidden underneath Scrooge’s sheep ranch, and tries to sabotage the business with sheep-shearing boomerang UFOs so he can buy the land and get rich quick. In other words, it’s pretty much a Duck version of a Scooby-Doo episode. And yes, I did say “sheep-shearing boomerang UFOs”. They even sound like Jetsons cars! This guy’s two weasel minions do his dirty work by controlling the spinning gizmos with controls attached to their belts. Unfortunately, they’re pretty darn bland personality-wise, and might as well be the same person. Can you say “generic minions with Australian accents”? One wears an orange shirt, and a green vest, while the other wears a purple shirt and a long brown jacket of some kind. Both of them wear brown hats of different shades, dark grey pants, and brown shoes. Their fur color are slightly different shades of brown as well.

Nightmare Woozles The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh season 1, episode #3- “There’s No Camp Like Home” Making their first appearance since their debut, some woozles haunt Piglet’s nightmares in the beginning of this episode, and they’re giants again here. It’s interesting to note that clips of this scene are used in the opening sequence for the series. Astonishingly, an actual family of heffalumps star in this episode, and the father is given appropriately fantastic powers. We’re thrown for a loop, though, because the heffalumps are actually victims- Tigger accidentally destroyed their house. Surprisingly, it anticipates Pooh’s Heffalump Movie by nearly twenty years.

Stan the Woozle The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh season 1, episode #9- “The Great Honey Pot Robbery” For many, many years, the true nature of Heffalumps and Woozles has been a mystery. Was Tigger just making nutty claims about elephants and weasels? Do they actually exist? Our answer was given without a doubt in this episode (save for the episode above)- they do exist and they do steal honey- but it seems no one noticed and Disney made Pooh’s Heffalump Movie anyway. “No, no,” they said, “Heffalumps aren’t scary- they’re nice!” Accidental (or otherwise) retroactive continuity notwithstanding, the lesson we learn is that prejudice ruins things for everyone. What Stan the Woozle represents is the epitome of a Disney weasel: a feared, hated outsider that wishes nothing but the misfortune of his slightly richer, cutesier enemies and lives a life of crime- and he’s darn proud of it. Woozles have stolen honey for so long that it’s the only thing he knows, and refuses to accept that they could just ask for it and be friends with Pooh and the gang. This episode also gives us a deeper peer into the irrational fear that permeates the minds of the good guys- in this case, the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood. Stan, and his much larger and stupider heffalump partner Heff, hide under the beds of their robbery victims. This symbolism-packed hideout reveals a childishness to the demonization of woozles, and also begs the question: How did they get under there in the first place? This is never made clear, especially since Heff is so large and couldn’t truly fit underneath, and adds to their mysterious natures. Stan is also another example of Disney weasels having authority over those who are stupider than they are, further proving the value weasels place on brains. Heff is a humungous wimp, really, so it’s a wonder if his role as the muscle is at all successful, and if Stan really needs him. Stan most closely resembles the woozle in the straw hat seen in the original song sequence, oddly enough, so he looks a tad strange compared to most other weasels. The rings around his eyes make him resemble Dwayne somewhat (who we discuss later). Despite these differences, his costume is rooted in the Mr. Toad design- he wears a dark red newsboy cap, dark blue pants, and black shoes. The rest deviates from the usual fare, since he doesn’t wear a shirt of any kind and wears a yellow vest instead, and, most unusual of all, a large red bow tie with white polka-dots. His fur consists of two shades of grey, and we see stitches when the two colors meet in order to convince the audience that he’s a stuffed doll. His tail is the most typical of woozles, being thick and tapering- more like an otter’s. Weirdly enough, he was an East Coast American accent instead of the mid-Atlantic accents that most of the other characters have. Perhaps it’s expected of a weasel, or even of a bad guy, to have such an accent? The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh season 3, episode #18- “A Bird in the Hand” Stan makes a rare second appearance in this episode, and I swear, he doesn’t seem to know anything about kidnapping and holding someone for ransom. Everyone seems to get just plain confused. Of course, he still doesn’t just ask for the honey.

Wooster The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh season 1, episode #9- “The Great Honey Pot Robbery” While Woozles originally could achieve incredible sizes in Pooh’s (and Piglet’s) nightmare, Stan’s stature says otherwise. Wooster, on the other hand, is a true giant, and no doubt among woozles the largest (and just about any species or manner of stuffed doll, for that matter). Wooster, despite his size, is something of a disappointment, really, because whoever designed him decided to go with two of the biggest clichés of large, intimidating cartoon characters: a ridiculously oversized chest and a big, round chin. This makes him sort of look like the woozle version of Aladdin’s Genie, which has more of a comical effect than anything. Worse, it makes his muzzle completely blunt, and not even the Laughin’ Weasels have muzzles that short. Otherwise, his head is typical of a woozle. Wooster’s “fur” is made up entirely of large, mismatched patches, mostly of various shades of purple, which is probably meant to add to his primitive appearance. Interestingly enough, this also draws your attention to his pointed, claw-like toes. But if it weren’t for Pooh’s idiocy and naïve innocence, everyone would have run in terror at the sight of him, and the woozles’ status as an enemy would’ve never have been questioned. No one, not even Stan would’ve believed it would be possible to make peace with these creatures-of-many-negative-adjectives. Luckily, Pooh was just as stubborn with his beliefs as anyone else, and made a gentle giant out of the lurching, mostly monosyllabic Wooster. valet weasels Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers season 1, episode #1- “To The Rescue” During a song sequence in which Fat Cat describes all the expensive, fabulous things he wants, he talks about having servants waiting on him hand and foot- and these dashing weasels demonstrate what he has in mind. It’s not entirely clear whether or not these guys are real or part of Fat Cat’s imagination. Either way, they’re unusually graceful. These guys are once again based on the Mr. Toad mold, although they have the distinction of having long, albeit noodle-like tails. Their clothing consists only of black jackets, white collars, black bow ties, and black bowlers. They all carry trays of food to Fat Cat, sporting the usual napkins around their arms.

Errol Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers season 2, episode #30- “Love is a Many Splintered Thing” Errol is probably the most closely tied to noir films of any weasel besides the Toon Patrol- character-narrated flashbacks of foolish love in the big city, betrayal, lies, deceit, and a crime wave committed by characters with New York accents. Not only that, he has a purple suit, a greasy pompadour, and a pencil mustache. As far as his personality goes, he’s pretty much your typical slimy lying gangster, with the exact same voice as recurring Darkwing Duck villain Steelbeak. What makes him really unique is that he’s actually weasel size, not much taller than Chip ‘n’ Dale themselves. The gang’s motivation is an odd one: they’re stealing highly expensive furniture for a overly picky Canadian beaver’s meals- after which, they intend to go on a “tropical getaway” in Florida. What they get out of feeding this beaver isn’t clear. Is it just the opportunity to catch a plane? At first he seems to be your typical mob boss- which would be a step up from the usual position of minion but not too far away from Smartass- but that’s only what the femme fatale mouse named Desiree d’Allure wants you to think. Seems that she’s enough of a take-charge type to make Errol second-in-command, presumably. It’s also heavily implied that the two are a couple. I guess when the only known female Disney weasel is as tall as Roger Rabbit, and you’re eye-to-eye with a banana, you’ll take anyone, it seems. Too bad Desiree didn’t really love him- but who’s to say that Errol loved her? It is also interesting to note that one of the gang members appears to be a ferret named Muscles, whose voice is an impression of Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky.

French weasel Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers season 2, episode #41- “Le Purrfect Crime” Well, this weasel makes for a total of four different weasel nationalities: British, American, Australian, and French. Again, this fellow is unique in that aspect. This time he’s working for a French cat villain who wants to rid Paris of all dogs. Presumably, he hates dogs too. He’s also real-life weasel size, although seemingly larger than Errol. French stereotyping is the name of the game when it comes to his clothing (not to mention his accent): a dark blue beret (covering his eyes) and vest, a red neckerchief, and a striped shirt of light and dark purple. His fur is a light brown and his belly and muzzle are cream colored- although half of the time it’s shades of grey. He also has the rare weasel tail, tipped with the same color as his muzzle. His hands and feet are the same color as well. He has very prominent whiskers, which are probably meant to stand in for a French mustache. worker weasel TaleSpin season 1, episode #1- “Plunder and Lightning” In the midst of this series’ epic ‘30s-style two-hour premiere episode, a completely random weasel shows up in a total of three very quick shots- and two of which have him hammering a final nail into a new wooden sign. He has creamy banana-pudding-yellow fur (appropriate to the setting), a white floppy hat, a white buttoned shirt, and blue denim overalls. He also has bare, yet clawless feet. The only thing about him that’s really worth mentioning about him is that he appears to be actually working an honest living- and to infer from his smile, even enjoys it... although it’s a bit of a stretch to note that Baloo doesn’t like the changes. The third shot comes much later in the episode, when he even more randomly appears in some building in the city, which a plane crashes through. What he’s doing there I can’t guess.

Weezell (or however the heck it’s spelled...) TaleSpin season 1, episode #8- “Vowel Play” When Baloo unwillingly goes into the skywriting business, Weezell- who, astoundingly, looks almost nothing like a weasel- requests strange messages to be written for him. As it turns out, these seemingly random messages are in fact code being used to bring about a big, elaborate diamond heist. Weezell is a fat, dumpy lump of a vaguely rodent-like and bucktoothed weasel, giving away his status as a minion. Or as he’s described in the episode, a “sneaky-looking guy in a bad suit- one of the town’s biggest gangsters”. (Could’ve fooled me... he seemed smalltime to me.) His smile may be slimy, but that’s about all that’s appealing about his appearance- his green jacket and pants, yellow shirt and dark purple tie look as fat as his body, and his ill- fitting, misshapen grey hat only serves to make his cheeks look wider. Same with his mutton chops. Heck, his tail is so thick that it looks like an otter’s! Like all short, overweight minions, he’s a immoral fellow who is nevertheless awkward and full of buffoonery. For some reason he insists on having his name pronounced with the emphasis on the second syllable. Maybe he’s trying to hide his species? I dunno. Ready to have your mind blown? He’s voiced by none other than David Lander- the voice of Smartass. It seems hard to believe that the voice of Smartass- the epitome of sleek and cool weasellyness- should do a weasel who, by all means, is the complete opposite. truck driver weasel (1) TaleSpin season 1, episode #30- “Save the Tiger” This weasel, wearing a creamy yellow shirt and hat, drives a truck for a rhino. He has prominent whiskers, but that’s all that’s at all interesting about him. He’s looks very much like the weasel in the first episode of this series, only his fur is darker.

Innumerable- Renaissance style! The Prince and the Pauper Once again the weasels play the role they are best known for: someone else’s obedient and largely indistinguishable lackeys. This time, it’s proven that their costumes don’t really matter, and that the only requirement of this role is their behavior- and so, they fit right into the period’s guard armor with little questioning. Although this makes them stand out from the rest, who mostly wear street clothes, they are made no less generic by being almost entirely voiced by Charlie Adler doing a cheesy English accent. Charlie Adler is not known for having variety in his voices, so it makes it seem like Disney wasn’t trying very hard- despite the weasels returning to their British roots. It also doesn’t help that you rarely see their eyes. One minor twist to their role is their ever-so-slightly higher status above those they abuse. Instead of causing mayhem and havoc to get revenge on the middle and upper classes, they bully and torment the peasantry. They enjoy it too, as seen by their frequent screeching laughter. It seems that they have it pretty cushy under Captain Pete’s rule, seeing as they praise his dastardliness through a parody of “The Mickey Mouse Club March” (emphasizing their anti-Mickeyness) while sloshing kegs of some alcoholic beverage. They probably take the heaviest physical abuse of all weasels, being knocked over and flung about in hordes like so many bowling pins and having their heads squashed by Pete’s meaty fist. (It’s this sort of beating that may explain why they seem more terrified of their superiors than most.) We also see a long-delayed return of truckloads of weapons being flung through the air, which hadn’t been seen since Mr. Toad. This strengthens the weasels’ association with sharp objects. After many years of almond-shaped eyes inspired by the Toon Patrol, we see their eyes at their tooniest- round and spread apart- like an exaggerated version of Mr. Toad eyes. Somehow it doesn’t look quite right. What truly sets them apart though is the vivid yellow color of their eyes, which is actually somewhat rare- in many cases it’s a paler shade of yellow, and more often they’re just plain white. Their teeth seem like exaggerated versions of Mr. Toad as well. Interestingly enough, we see a bit more variety in the video game adaptation- the final level of the decidedly nostalgic Mickey Mania. One of the variations, who fires arrows with a crossbow at our hero, looks suspiciously like Stupid. Another one, who sneaks around on tiptoes and throws daggers, is much more ordinary- like a more comical version of Smartass. Another generic one appears at the beginning of Mickey’s Ultimate Challenge. You wouldn’t give him a second thought if it weren’t for the fact that Mickey (or Minnie) speaks peacefully with him, and doesn’t at all assume that he’s guarding an evil castle. In fact, he seems to be a guard for the good guys- namely, characters partly inspired by The Prince and the Pauper (only Horace is directly lifted). Mickey even offers to help the kingdom with its troubles, and the weasel calls him “noble”. He actually likes Mickey. Who’d-a thunk it? There are also weasels inspired by this featurette in early levels of the fantasy-themed video game Legend of Illusion (also starring Mickey), who seem to just be sort of standing or walking around waiting to be attacked. At the end, you can see ex-King Pete and one of these weasels at a prison rock quarry in classic black-and-white prison stripes.

Dr. Wiles Little Plane of Horrors In this TaleSpin comic, Baloo is desperate to find a birthday present for Becky. When he comes across Dr. Wiles moving some crates, one of his minions appears with a cute, groundhog-like animal called a “Chippit”. Baloo buys it for her, but things become suspicious when various objects start disappearing. As it turns out, Dr. Wiles has enslaved these critters, taking advantage of their courtship rituals: the females give gifts to the males, so Dr. Wiles has apparently bioengineered them to grow big enough to steal larger, more valuable objects by swallowing them whole. Dr. Wiles has solid grey fur (with a conspicuous muzzle line), and a purple, sorta saggy suit and fedora, including a lavender shirt and hatband, and a black tie. Dr. Wiles also has smaller eyes than most weasels, and seems unusually good at feigning innocence. Presumably his “doctor” title comes from his skills in genetic engineering (or perhaps just selective breeding).

Dwayne Darkwing Duck season 1, episode #5- “Night of the Living Spud” Psycho may have his razor, but he still isn’t as creepy as Dwayne... Actually, it’s not certain whether or not he’s a weasel- he looks more like Wile E. Coyote, really. He has rather large feet and broad cheeks, when the only protrusion on the sides of most weasels’ faces is their ears. He does have the basic muzzle shape and coloring, though... Dwayne is a hick truck driver who rambles on about secret government alien transportation and bizarre cryptids worthy of of any crackpot cryptozoologist, no doubt making any hitchhiker he picks up cringe and wish he had gotten picked up by some other driver. From the looks of things, his strange obsessions with the supernatural resulted from hours and hours of night driving, the dancing of light and shadow messing with his bumpkin mind. Dwayne is a rather gangly fellow with long arms and wearing nothing but denim overalls and a straw hat to emphasize his figure. He constantly chews on a twig of wheat for no other reason than to prove his role as a simple country boy. His hat casts shadows over his wrinkled, glowing yellow eyes, which pierce the night and seem to reveal something disturbed within. He seems to have considerable influence over the superstitious and gullible locals, proven by the fact that you can say “Dwayne sent me”. It’s doubtful if he deserves such respect, though, since most of the claims about monsters in this Halloween-themed episode are rather absurd. ...Wouldn’t you like to be trapped in a passenger seat next to him?

Weasel Kid Darkwing Duck season 1, episode #29- “Whiffle While You Work” The residents of St. Canard are certainly no less prone to weasel typecasting, as seen in this NES-style, 8-bit game called Whiffle Boy, which is essentially their version of Megaman. It is proof of how far we’ve come in the world of Disney weasels (or perhaps how short we’ve fallen?)- because the main villain in this game is of course none other than a weasel, but despite the completely different setting, we STILL immediately assume that he’s a bad guy without question. And we still are meant to laugh at his easy defeat, if the game’s sassy, hi-tech voice synthesis is any indication. “Suck eggs, Weasel Kid,” says the cold, unfeeling female voice. The game is truly a new environment for a weasel (if not a new role), due to its decidedly futuristic feel. His clothes complete the look- not only does he have a blue laser cannon for an arm, he wears a green sleeveless shirt with a black collar, black, green-rimmed visor sunglasses, tight black pants, and green boots. He’s no hoodlum of the dark city streets- he’s a hoodlum of the future! Other than that, he’s almost completely devoid of any personality, besides his obvious desire to do away with Whiffle Boy, shown by his frequent screeching of the words “Get ‘im! Get ‘im! Get ‘im!” in a tiny, scratchy, supposedly 8-bit voice. It doesn’t help much that he’s grimacing all the time. It turns out that Whiffle Boy isn’t much better, because the whole thing is revealed to be one big, freaky childhood feud between two neighbors when Weasel Kid’s father shows up, feeling very unhappy about Whiffle Boy picking on his kid. Darkwing Duck Annual #1 Weasel Kid makes a surprising cameo in a recent issue of the new Darkwing Duck comic, in the form of a doll on Quackerjack’s desk.

Daddy Weasel Darkwing Duck season 1, episode #29- “Whiffle While You Work” Daddy Weasel is another extremely unusual weasel, which is entirely due to the fact that he’s a giant mecha robot. It just goes to show that the game is a surreal version of growing up, because Daddy Weasel here is a version of the big, brutish, protective father. Very little can be said about his personality, other than his clear enjoyment of being so huge and destructive, which is what his deep, rumbling laugh seems to imply. He couldn’t have been very bright either, since simple trickery gets him crushed by a train.

Showbiz weasel Darkwing Duck season 1, episode #48- “A Duck by Any Other Name” When Launchpad is mistakenly believed to be Darkwing’s secret identity, he suddenly becomes a big celebrity. At one point, a bunch of smarmy-looking showbiz types barge into Drake Mallard’s home, trying to get Launchpad to sign a movie contract. Among them is a weasel, who claims, “I can get you five picture deal with Disney, babe!” Apparently he works for Disney. Who would’a thunk it? The fellow has a distinct high, poofy pompadour, and wears black sunglasses, a lavender shirt, a blue polka-dot tie, dark brown pants, and brown shoes. Darkwing Duck season 1, episode #47- “Dead Duck” This guy shows up again in a single shot, a bit sloppily drawn, and apparently dead and headed for Hell. But since the whole thing turns out to be (spoiler alert) a dream, I guess not.

Weasel Lawman Darkwing Duck season 2, episode #13- “The Merchant of Menace” Lawman here can only be loosely described as a weasel, because it weren’t for his name, I probably wouldn’t include him here. Lawman is an obese brown-furred slimeball who looks more like a dog or a bear and sounds like Richard Nixon, down to his two-handed victory signs. His scheme is to rob wealthy St. Canard houses by disguising himself as Darkwing’s dopey next-door neighbor, selling machine-created sentient tupperware (or “quackerware”, as they’re called here) that have grown legs to suck up jewelry and other valuables. It doesn’t really get much more bizarre than that (except for the story of Mugsy, Bugsy, Pugsy and Percival). As it turns out, Lawman was a very bad salesman, and... held a grudge about it? I’m guessing he was fired, but it’s not very clear.

“Insidious” (named by Fatal) Goof Troop season 1, episode #76- “Sherlock Goof” In one of this series’ many episodes where Goofy tells an improbable tale about an improbable ancestor, we are introduced to Sherlock Goof, whose origins should be obvious. This episode is basically a spiritual successor to “How to be a Detective”, since he reads a book with the same title. Pete plays the role of Moriarty, known as “Professor Inferiority” here. One of his minions is this guy, a weasel. Yet another variation of Mr. Toad, Insidious is taller than average, lacks belly or muzzle markings, and has a bulkier head and body than usual. He wears a blue cap, light blue pants with a thin belt, a black shirt, a grey jacket, and black shoes. His voice is an impression of Jack Nicholson, which fits his slimy smile well. Oddly enough, his teeth aren’t sharp- but then, there are plenty of weasels without sharp teeth, but it seems more noticeable here. Insidious and his short fat dogface partner assist Prof. Inferiority in stealing the crown jewels, but since they fail to bump Sherlock Goof off, he fires them and drops them down a trap door. They’re nowhere to be seen the rest of the episode. Insidious is named after Sidney, whom he resembles, and the both of them share the same role- a minion of a tribute/parody to Prof. Moriarty.

Smartass clone (2) Mickey’s Dangerous Chase (Gameboy) In this obscure game for Gameboy, we see that one of the enemies is a weasel, wearing a zoot suit get-up similar to Smartass, with additional pants. One can infer that they’re working for Pete (again), who for God knows what reason steals Minnie’s new pet bird. This makes the third of eight instances of weasels working for Pete- the others being The Prince and the Pauper (and it’s level in Mickey Mania), the aforementioned Goof Troop episode “Sherlock Goof”, Legend of Illusion (which was released after this game), The Great Circus Mystery, Magical Tetris Challenge, Mickey Saves the Day: 3D Adventure, and the House of Mouse episode “Pete’s House of Villains”. Why Pete? I guess The Prince and the Pauper is to blame. Because they’re your basic 8-bit enemy, these fellows either walk back and forth or hop around and nothing else, hoping you, the player, will run Mickey into them. In later levels, you see them driving cars, trying to ram you. “I’m gonna ram ‘im!” Spud Goof Troop season 1, episode #59- “The Good, The Bad, and The Goofy” When Spud and Wally (Spud’s overweight idiot dogface partner) rob the same grocery store Goofy and Pete are shopping at, Goofy’s legendary clumsiness causes Pete to get kidnapped. Ironically, that same clumsiness is what saves the day (and what consequently gets Spud bonked on the head). Spud has a curious design, mainly because of his long, straight, red hair (which covers his ears, even) and his odd coloration, which would suggest a dogface with a five-o’-clock shadow- being peach with grey on his muzzle- were it not for his unmistakably weaselly muzzle shape, body type, and movements- the likes of which are only seen in Mr. Toad and WFRR, I might add. His hat resembles an exaggerated, blue-colored version of Wheezy’s, and he wears a dark brown jacket, lighter brown pants, black shoes, and a dark green sweater. His voice is distinctively low and gruff. His personality is limited to the scruffy, lowbrow burglar type, although he plays the part a lot better than usual. And even though he’s way smarter than Wally, he doesn’t seem to know a darn thing about holding a person for ransom. If he and Stan are any indication, weasels are better at stealing and violence, but terrible at kidnapping. The Toon Patrol didn’t do so well at kidnapping Jessica either. Goof Troop season 1, episode #8- “O RV I N-V U” Goof Troop season 1, episode #48- “Nightmare on Goof Street” It should be noted that Spud and Wally also appear in these two earlier episodes, but- confusingly- Spud looks a heck of a lot less like a weasel and much more like a generic dogface, and to confuse matters further, their names, voices and personalities are switched. Evidently Walt Disney Animation (France) thought that a fat guy with Bozo hair did not make for a convincing wise guy leader of a duo- and rightly so. background weasel Bonkers season 2, episode #6- “CasaBonkers” (Note: The musical segment in which this character appears first aired as the short “The Rubber Room” as part of a collection of shorts that made up episode #19 of season 1.) This little guy might be a weasel, but who can say for sure since he isn’t specifically based on the Mr. Toad or WFRR designs, or have any real role whatsoever besides filler? We can only go with the shape of his head, really. Some confusion stems from most of the audience consisting of toon wolves and dogfaces, who often have similarly shaped muzzles. Anyway, this guy wears a cream shirt, a brown vest, a brown bowler, and a smile on his face. His muzzle doesn’t have a separate color. This is why I hate crowd scenes sometimes.

Greasy clone Bonkers season 2, episode #8- “Of Mice and Menace” When Bonkers goes through the police files to search for a suspect, he looks at a number of Disney villains’ profiles, which include mugshots. Everything looks normal as Bonkers fulfills one of this show’s requirements- making in-jokes- and brings up “Honest” John Worthingthon Foulfellow from Pinocchio, Shere Khan from The Jungle Book in his TaleSpin form (go figure), and... Greasy?? Well, not quite. He doesn’t look exactly like Greasy, because his clothing has entirely different colors- which is what makes this guy a real mystery. His profile is only on for about a second, but it still didn’t escape my eye. Now, there can be no doubt what the animators intended to do, which is give Greasy a cameo, but the ink and paint department clearly wasn’t as knowledgeable and probably thought “Oh, it’s a weasel- like in Roger Rabbit,” and gave him whatever colors they thought were appropriate. His hat is now a beige color with a black band, and his jacket is sort of greyish dark purple. His shirt is sort of a greyish lavender and his tie is crimson, as is his pants, which seem to have a black belt or cummerbund. One possible explanation for his presence on a Hollywood police computer is that the police dept. recently digitized their files, so it could date back to sometime in the ‘40s. Of course, photos then were more often than not in black and white, so who knows why he’s colored that way. Perhaps somebody colorized the photo incorrectly... Another far less likely explanation is that some weasel in the early ‘90s was running around dressed like Greasy, but in different colors. It goes without saying that this is a pretty silly idea- I mean, could a weasel idolize Greasy enough to imitate him, but want to set himself apart from him by using different colors? Crazy things can happen in Toontown... we do, after all, meet that Smartass copycat mentioned earlier. For anybody interested, he’s numbered #0284-7524. Further ink and paint hijinks ensue when we later see Bonkers looking at Chernabog from the “Night on Bald Mountain” sequence in Fantasia, but he’s red instead of deathly black. It’s this sort of sloppiness with color that makes this character confusing. police line-up weasel Bonkers season 2, episode #10- “The 29th Page” During a chase sequence in the police station Bonkers runs through a line-up of various Disney villains, consisting from left to right of a Beagle Boy, Horace and Jasper from 101 Dalmatians (one of whom Bonkers calls “Joe” for some reason), a Mr. Toad weasel and the Big Bad Wolf. Who would’ve guessed that an ordinary weasel would be on par with these guys? The weasel, who just stands there grinning mischievously like any self-respecting weasel should, wears a dark blue newsboy cap, a dark purple jacket, a pale lavender turtleneck, nearly-black grey pants, and black shoes. He looks at Bonkers as he walks past him with a frown, probably because he got him arrested in the first place- or maybe just because he’s a good guy. Or maybe he just bumped into him, I don’t know.

Wacky Weasel Bonkers season 3, episode #13- “Get Wacky” Wacky is supposedly “the most dangerous toon criminal of all time”. I guess nobody remembers Judge Doom, then? He seems FAR more dangerous to me. However dangerous he really is relative to anyone else, he does manage to strike fear with the mere mention of his name. According to Bonkers himself, he starred in a series of cartoons where he was never caught by his pursuers, and has incredible skill as a toon. In his words, one of the reasons he had to quit show business was that Wacky was “just too awesome”. I fail to see the truth in this, considering the pilot episode makes no mention of Wacky, but it is reasonable to assume that Wacky was quite the competition. It can be inferred from his behavior running around in the streets that he was one of those sneaky, clever, mischief-making toons that caused havoc and mayhem for no particular reason other than his own amusement- sort of like Screwy Squirrel. Indeed, he has greater control over toon physics than any other weasel, being able to change costume in an instant, which is most likely why he has remained so elusive (and you know how even the cheesiest toon costumes fool everyone, no matter what). The only reason he wound up in jail was because he broke into it, falling prey to a pun due to hearing that there were “bad eggs” there. Otherwise, no one has “out-tooned” him, or in layman’s term, outsmarted him. Which brings us to to this: Wacky is the only known Disney weasel that actually steals eggs, besides a single variation of Br’er Weasel (and whether or not he counts is up to debate). After all these years of weasel stereotyping, the long established egg-stealing trait is not one that has been brought up until this cartoon. In fact, out of all the hundreds of cartoons I’ve watched over the years, the only toon weasel I know of who does this is featured in the rarely- seen 1943 Merrie Melodie Flop Goes the Weasel, and there is no emphasis placed on it. Chickens, yes, but not eggs. The only reason I know about this tendency is through word of mouth. Why is this? Wacky doesn’t at all fit in with the other Disney weasels, besides his basic design and role as a bad guy. He’s a trickster, not a hoodlum or minion, and takes advantage of toon physics, whereas the average weasel has an enemy in toon physics. What’s up with this guy? What may explain all this is the possibility that Wacky, in the world WFRR and Bonkers takes place in, isn’t technically a Disney weasel. Roger is technically a Maroon Cartoons star, and Bonkers worked for Wackytoons. Could it be that Wacky was created by some other studio besides Disney? No one mentions who made his cartoons. This may also explain his frequent, wild laughter- you may ask yourself: shouldn’t he have killed himself by now, like the Toon Patrol? (Nevermind the fact that the Toon Patrol’s vulnerability to such a death has unknown causes.) It’s possible that only toon weasels created by Disney have this weakness. Whatever the case, Wacky finds the messes he creates highly amusing. You’re probably thinking: can nothing stop this maniac? He was never caught in his cartoons! Surely it’s his nature to be uncatchable? Well, what Bonkers’ friend Roderick figured out is that all he has to do to capture him is to treat the situation as if it were his cartoon, instead of Wacky’s. How does that work exactly? Is it just a simple case of mind over matter? Wacky technically isn’t in one of his cartoons, for one thing- he’s not any set. Do toons just treat life as if it were one big cartoon? Admittedly, Bonkers did put up a set with props and everything. Another problem is that Bonkers may be a hero toon, but he’s a hapless toon- one of those toons that always has the worst of luck or jinxes everything, like Roger (who he’s based on). He’s not really a capturer, per se, nor a trickster. Despite this, Bonkers just simply believed he could “outtoon” Wacky, so he did- effectively using a placebo to send Wacky to the clink and destroy his reputation. Wacky has an unusual costume, due to having a more modern look. One would most likely above all notice his long flowing hair (which in my opinion looks better than Greasy’s). His jacket seems to be a weird cross between a trench coat and Smartass’s jacket, colored hot pink with yellow buttons and an upturned collar. The most ordinary thing he wears is his matching pink newsboy cap. For reasons unknown, his fur is made up of shades of green and yellow green, and has noticeably oversized feet. His mouth is wriggly, with two prominent fangs in front, and his eyes are irregularly round, which make him look appropriately crazed. He also lacks a tail for some reason. One question that’s left unanswered is when exactly he left his show biz career for a life of crime- all we really can guess is that he’s been at it for quite some time, especially since one of the characters in this episode used to work for him. My personal theory is that he just started having too much fun during a shooting, and escaped the studio to continue his antics, never to return. Bonkers (SNES) Wacky Weasel seems to have cloned himself in this game, serving as a minor enemy who sticks his head out of a window and throws potted plants at Bonkers.

“Torchy” (named by Viles) “Hardhead” (named by Fatal) “Chilly” (named by Viles) The Great Circus Mystery (SNES) The weasels are working for Pete again for some reason, and surprisingly, they are represented by three distinctive mini-bosses this time around. The first is in the the circus-themed level, which is also the first level, since the plot centers around the circus anyway. The weasel here is a clown, wearing an orange and blue suit, juggling flaming torches. Even though they’re torches, he seems to be touching the flames while only wearing standard toon gloves, and he can throw them at Mickey in formation, and then retrieve them. It almost seems like he has have power over fire... although you could probably chalk it up to the limited video game technology of the time. He makes a second appearance later in the game as well. The second is a guy in a yellow and green miner’s uniform and helmet, bouncing around on a jackhammer in the cave level. The third wears a green and white eskimo outfit, and spins around in some spiky barrel made out of ice. Yeah, I don’t really get it, either.

Halloween Woozles Winnie the Pooh- Boo to You Too! The woozles make a surprise return in this direct-to-video special, appearing in the song sequence “I Wanna Scare Myself”, in which Tigger excitedly describes all the things he wants to do on Halloween. If you thought the original woozles were creepy, then this sequence is a full-on nightmare instead of just an uneasy dream- even though it’s only Tigger’s daydream. The designs of these woozles, while directly inspired by the originals, take their aggressiveness to the next level. Instead of merely looking like mischievous, greedy dolls, they look like the undead, and instead wanting to eat honey, they look like they want to eat you. And Tigger imagines an entire army of these guys- heffalumps (mostly, as usual), woozles, and green sheet ghosts that sometimes resemble shower curtains, who are presumably the “spookables” he describes. *descriptions This song is also reused in Pooh’s Heffalump Halloween Movie, which sorta confuses things since it’s a sequel to Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, which depicts heffalumps as “not so bad after all”. Is Tigger still clinging to his image of the despicable heffalump? Does he need to meet a baby woozle to convince him otherwise? And where the heck is Stan and Wooster? Too bad it’s probably not gonna happen, considering the new purist direction in 2011’s Winnie the Pooh.

Weasel (2) Magical Tetris Challenge (Nintendo 64) Here’s another weasel cursed with the ridiculous name of “Weasel”. He fares somewhat better than the first one since he has the classic weasel look, but still... I suppose we could be merciful to the poor sap and say that the story in this game is merely another acting job for Mickey, thus rendering it fictional within the WFRR world and making it possible for him to have a real name, but for now his official name is “Weasel”. Mr. Toad, Rat, and Mole are perfectly fine names, but that’s only because there’s only one of them. Weasels are most often seen in groups, so having them all named “Weasel” would be very much like naming all Australians “Bruce”. Pete’s other minion, the Big Bad Wolf, or Zeke Wolf as he’s properly known, is given the same treatment, being merely called “Wolf” in several instances. It’s so obvious who he is, so there’s no real reason to call him that. Once again, this weasel works for Pete, who has recently acquired a magical gem-like stone from a sunken spaceship (mind you, this is Toontown), and is using it to hypnotize our beloved Disney characters. What “Weasel” or “Wolf” are getting out of it is unclear, so my best guess is a position of power, when Pete has hypnotized everyone. This weasel’s generic name isn’t helped by giving him the same old Mr. Toad design- a brown bowler with a red band, a bright red sweater with a yellow band, blue pants, and brown shoes- and a generic personality. He strikes a pose similar to one seen in the Mr. Toad weasel model sheet. For some reason he doesn’t recognize Mickey. (Seriously? What rock have you been living under?) The only thing that really distinguishes him at all is the way he starts a game of Tetris- by greeting the player with a smile and a lift of the hat, as if to say “Howdy-do!”. He also, in a more typically weaselly fashion, bursts into laughter when you lose, and falls over with a cala lily in his hands when you win. Usually that’s an indication of death, although more often than not it’s feigned death. He’s perfectly fine once you get to the cut scene, though, so maybe he’s being dramatic.

“Buzz” and at least one other weasel- nicknamed “Mel” (named by Criswell) An uncompleted “grand Disney project” As I did a Google image search for toon weasels of any sort, I came across the website of an animator named Larry Ruppel. In his gallery/portfolio, I found these two drawings of weasels, both of which had the caption “Character sketch(es) created for a grand Disney Project.” One of them was named “Buzz”, with an appropriate flattop haircut (something never before seen on a Disney weasel), sneakers, and a cheerful grin that showed that he was ready and raring to go. The other looked almost exactly the same, except with a bigger belly and no hairdo or sneakers. Obviously, I was both intrigued and confused, for I couldn’t possibly guess what he meant by a “grand Disney project”. Being the fanatic I am, I wondered if it meant a Roger Rabbit sequel, prequel, or what have you, which was the only thing I would dare call “grand”. The first thing that struck me was how darn friendly these weasels looked- just as bad as, if not worse than that smilin’ eager-beaver Sidney, and far more upright-citizen-ish and cute than Beanie could ever hope to be, despite how explicitly good he is (although they’re not nearly as cutesy as the Laughin’ Weasels). I also found it bothersome that the two were given extremely small bodies, making their heads look terribly out of proportion. What sort of weasels were these? Squeaky clean, declawed weasels for a new sanitized generation of children? The mystery as to where they had come from and what they were for remained unsolved for a long time, until I finally got off my butt and actually wrote the guy an e-mail. He told me that the project was being worked on over a decade ago (as of 2009), and that it was supposed to be something to do with online education, using “all new characters and environments”. Well, that certainly explains why they look like such goody-two-shoes- they were meant for educational stuff. And everyone knows that edutainment just HAS to be bright and cheerful like Leave it to Beaver, right? I’m willing to bet that that’s what the project was going to be like, had it gotten off the ground. No self-respecting weasel (except these two, it would seem) would actually help children learn good and proper, so it’s just as well it didn’t happen. What role these two played exactly is unclear (perhaps I should’ve asked), but it’s easy to tell that it wasn’t going to be as bad guys... At the very least their core design is typical of a weasel.

“Smarmy” (named by Fatal) Mickey Mouse Works season 2, episode #1, short #4- “Mickey’s Mechanical House” (Note: This short also appears in Mickey Mouse Works season 2, episode #6 as short #3, House of Mouse season 4, episode #10- “House of Genius”, and the Halloween special Mickey’s House of Villains. Don’t ask me why it’s so popular.) When Mickey’s house becomes too much of a rickety nuisance, and John Cleese the narrator agrees in Seussian fashion, Mickey decides to move into a house of the future! This smarmy (how else would you describe him?), grinning weasel salesman pitches it’s many cutting-edge technological conveniences. You’d think Mickey of all people would suspect something fishy when a weasel is selling him a house, but I guess good ol’ Walt’s enthusiasm for progress rubbed off on him, making him dazzled by the house’s chrome-plated sheen. As it turns out, the house is pretty much one of those HAL-esque robotic dictators. This guy certainly doesn’t have the best of fashion sense, although he still sports bright colors, which is a weaselly tradition. The main thing is that he wears these Mickey-style white gloves and lumpy golden brown shoes. Otherwise he looks fine, if you consider that he’s supposed to be a tacky salesman- he wears a creamy yellow jacket, a cream-colored shirt with an upturned collar, and a tie that matches his shoes. Mickey Mouse Works season 2, episode #2, short #5- “Mickey’s Piano Lesson” (Note: This short also appears in House of Mouse season 4, episode #9- “Mickey and the Culture Clash”.) What, a weasel that appears in more than one cartoon? What a concept! Unless you count the Mr. Toad weasels, which I don’t. Anyway, this weasel at least has the same head. This time, it’s only a brief cameo, where he serves as an audience member who gets startled when Mickey runs into the auditorium. House of Mouse season 4, episode #6- “Music Day” This guy’s final appearance occurs some years later in this episode, as a photographer for Huey, Dewie, and Louie’s genre-jumping pop/rock trio, with a different voice. Nevertheless, he has a distinctive design, so I include this incarnation. His costume now consists of a purple jacket, a bright lime green shirt, a red tie, and of course those white Mickey gloves. He plays a relatively peaceful role this time, inadvertently causing the trio to break up when he asks the “leader” to be in the middle, not realizing that no leader had been established. Instead of being horrified, though, he seems to see it as a big scoop, if his wide-eyed smile is any indication- which would be more typical of a weasel. restaurant weasel Mickey Mouse Works season 2, episode #2, short #2- “Donald’s Dinner Date” (Note: This short also appears in House of Mouse season 1, episode #15- “Goofy for a Day”.) Similar in design to Smarmy above, this guy appears in a crowd shot that cheers on waiter Goofy’s antics, much to the annoyance of Donald and Daisy. He wears a grey suit with a white shirt and red tie and white gloves. Strangely enough, he seems to have a single blunt tooth.

“The Weasels” Mickey’s Speedway USA (Nintendo 64) As if you couldn’t get any more generalized, this racing game simply refers to its weasel villains as “The Weasels”, assuming that the player would immediately understand that they’re bad guys, even though they had never seen these particular weasels before. It’s almost as though giving the Toon Patrol distinctive personalities was for naught- these guys could be ANY weasels, but they would still just be “the weasels”. Just who are “the weasels” exactly, anyway? You don’t actually know. But they’re weasels, so they must be bad guys, right? At least with other bad guy collectives, like the Beagle Boys, you get a proper introduction and a long, detailed history to associate with them. This simply isn’t the case with Disney weasels... there’s really only handful of them around the world- unlike the Beagle Boys’ thousands of appearances- and very little explicit information about them. So in reality, only a small handful of reference points was all anyone who played this game had to go on. The strangest part of it is that “the weasels” themselves refer to themselves as such. Maybe they figured Mickey would make the same assumption that the game designers made of the players. With this artificial implication in mind, we ask: what dastardly deed have they committed this time? Why, they’ve kidnapped Pluto because of his “diamond” dog collar! For some reason this is worth driving cross country in order to make their getaway. Why not just take the collar instead of the dog with it? From the looks of things, they wanted to partake in animal abuse as well. And it’s not the first time Pluto has been mistreated by weasels- they threaten to kill him in The Prince and the Pauper. As can be expected, these three weasels aren’t terribly interesting to look at. At first they have the usual Mr. Toad fare, with dark green sweaters and icy pale green caps. With each level they taunt Mickey with a “Wish you were here” postcard from the latest racetrack, in which they abuse Pluto for their own amusement or gain. In Indianapolis, they have pit stop get-ups, with orange suits, white shoes and gloves, and bright blue baseball caps. In New Mexico, they sport black sunglasses and grey and burnt orange shorts while getting a tan. A bigger problem than their costumes, though, is that they have really short bodies, which makes their heads look really big. All this teasing and effort was wasted since the diamonds turned out to be fake. I guess you can’t trust a weasel to stop at the local jeweler...

Larry and Louie Wallace and ? Frankie and ? Mickey Saves the Day: 3D Adventure (PC) When Minnie (or Mickey, depending who you’re playing) is voted mayor, Pete (here known as “Big Bad Pete”) shows up and announces that s/he’s missing, and as deputy mayor, proceeds to declare himself the new mayor- and from behind the podium, two completely naked weasels appear. They’re working for Pete again. This is probably the only time we see classic- style weasels without any clothes on whatsoever, except for the accessories they don throughout the game. You might think that they would have completely generic personalities, considering their completely generic designs (not helped by out-of-date polygon graphics), but surprisingly, no. Every pair throughout the game actually have names, as revealed by their dialogue. Larry and Louie are the first you can reach, although you don’t have to get past them in any particular order. Larry is clearly the leader of the pair, having a deep gruff voice and rude, authoritative dialogue. Louie (who spends the whole game in a bathtub), on the other hand, is kind of whiny- he’s scared of fish, even. This kind of startles me- the last weasels to have these sort of distinctive traits, if you ask me, was the Toon Patrol themselves. And yet they have such boring designs. I guess it kind of comes from the gameplay- a point-and-click adventure that requires a lot of spoken dialogue, if not exceptional animation. Wallace and his friend, who is presumably the leader, steal Daisy’s bike- and everybody else’s- at Pete’s orders so that everybody will drive cars on his new freeway. The two- who have Cockney accents, including Charlie Adler doing the exact same voice he used for The Prince and the Pauper- haven’t slept for three days, and are just about ready to fall asleep if not for the loud leafblower and jackhammer nearby. When Mickey whistles “Steamboat Bill”, Wallace mentions that it sounds like what his mother used to sing to him before going to bed- he also seems to be a fan of easy listening music. Wallace is the most sentimental weasel I’ve ever seen. To get the bike, Mickey has to silence the noise, and conduct a chorus of birds to sing them a lullaby. Among the plethora of well-known folk songs is an apparently original tune called “Rock-a-bye Weasel”- which doesn’t sound much like “Steamboat Bill”, but it gets the job done. Frankie and his friend- whose hierarchy is unclear- guard a toll booth that blocks all traffic, which is extremely odd because the road isn’t finished yet. These two are far more generic, but they seem to enjoy their job, and are fond of their booth despite its roughshod appearance. Mickey makes them disappear in a magical vanishing cabinet- their current whereabouts are unknown. agent House of Mouse season 1, episode #3- “The Three Caballeros” The Mickey Mouse Works and House of Mouse series can cause a good deal of confusion because the shorts they have almost completely overlap one another. So there must be a distinction made between the two, because the shorts usually originally come from Mickey Mouse Works, before House of Mouse, and the latter has new animation in between the shorts (which, in my opinion, makes it the more definitive series). Some shorts were made specifically for House of Mouse, and some remained Mickey Mouse Works exclusives, which will be noted. And so, whenever a weasel shows up, ones from the shorts will most often come before the ones that appear in between the shorts on House of Mouse. This guy is the first to appear on House of Mouse, and in contrast to the salesman, he has a much more traditional Mr. Toad-based head design. He deviates from such a design from having an extremely narrow waist. Otherwise, he has a pretty ordinary costume for any toon: a dark green jacket, green pants, a peach shirt, black tie, white gloves, and black shoes. He carries a brown suitcase. The reason he shows up is because Donald is disappointed at the lack of recognition he has compared to the other two Caballeros, and so he decides to turn himself into “The Duck Formerly Known as Donald” and wears some weird rapper outfit. With this comes a new agent, who Mickey has to go through, including the agent’s agent and their legal team (who all look freakishly alike), in order to talk to Donald. I guess he qualifies as a typical weasel because acting agents are known to be... sharks? I wouldn’t really know. He does inflate Donald’s ego and blatantly advertise him... but what I really wonder about is his collection of clones.

“Cheesy” (named by Criswell) House of Mouse season 1, episode #9- “Rent Day” This weasel has a pretty cushy job as Mickey’s drug dealer- er, cheese seller. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he relishes in encouraging Mickey’s cheese addiction and causing him to spend the rent money. What other weasel has access to the Mouse himself, with the ability to indulge his one true weakness? And they said it’d be a lousy job, working at a cheese store... And it’s a good thing it isn’t, because otherwise the indignity of being forced to wear a giant piece of cheese for a hat would be insufferable for a weasel. It’s even dopier than the hats at Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick, what with the yellow cheese and blue brim. The uniform also includes a dorky red bow tie, a baby blue collarless jacket, and a white shirt. truck driver weasel (2) House of Mouse season 1, episode #12- “Thanks to Minnie” Because one-trick-pony Clarabelle spread the rumor that Mickey thought Minnie wasn’t needed, Minnie quit, and the club begins to fall apart. Minnie apparently took care of the bills, so the club’s huge widescreen television gets repossessed without her. The whole thing, ripped straight out of the stage wall, is taken away by a truck, driven by this weasel. Once again, he’s more or less based on the Mr. Toad design, wearing a dark grey turtleneck and dark blue newsboy cap. Even he’s gotten wind of the rumor, and grins at the thought of the trouble Mickey is in. law firm weasel House of Mouse season 1, episode #15 “Donald’s Pumbaa Prank”, short #1- “Mickey’s April Fools” After Mickey gets a kick out of playing mean tricks on Minnie and Mortimer on April Fool’s Day, he gets a taste of his own medicine when the law firm that’s offering him a million-dollar inheritance believes that he’s dead (due to one of his more elaborate pranks). The weasel behind the desk doesn’t seem to believe his own eyes, despite Mickey’s best efforts. This weasel is arguably the most unattractive of any Disney weasel (that still identifiably looks like one), sporting an enormous sausage-like schnoz, a wrinkled grin, and squinty, beady eyes. Possibly most unusual of all, his muzzle color extends to around his eyes, forming a face mask. He’s also rather fat. He wears a grey blue suit with a single gold button, white shirt and red tie, a matching red hanky tucked in his breast pocket, and white gloves like the salesman. His pants are beige, and his shoes are goofy-looking black and white wingtips or something similar. He also wears a pair of tiny round spectacles that sit on the bridge of his nose. It’s just as well that he’s so weird looking, since it’s doubtful this person actually exists- twice, it’s revealed that it’s only a disguise, and is really Mortimer and Minnie, respectively. tour guide “Maybe I’m a Maze” (D 97415) This fellow’s weasellyness is a tiny bit uncertain, due to the presence of bushy mustache-like tufts directly underneath his nose, which makes him look vaguely like a Scotty dog. Otherwise, all the basics are there- long muzzle, narrow eyes, small pointed ears, short legs... Little is known about this guy, except that he’s a tour guide for some old hedge maze, which apparently used to be holy ground. When a fat loudmouth pig tourist desecrates the sacred place, he flies into a rage of fearsome religious fervor, revealing that the maze is alive and will attack them. It would seem that this guy is a remaining worshipper, and may have magical powers. two Mr. Toad weasels House of Mouse season 2, episode #4- “Max’s Embarrassing Date” What could be merely a random decision of whoever was choosing who would appear in the background, is the presence of these Mr. Toad-based weasels. Strange that among all the weasels in this series (and Mickey Mouse Works), only these two are directly based on the original classic designs, despite Mr. Toad’s occasional cameos. It’s almost as though the Disneyland ride’s toning down of weasels caused Mr. Toad himself to be less associated with his nemeses... Anyhow, this time their clothing consists of a baby blue sweater, blue pants, and a lavender newsboy cap on the right, and a dark grey jacket, olive green sweater, crimson pants and a light brown newsboy cap on the left. After Goofy finishes his huge pratfall, we see that he smashed their table and knocked them to the ground, and apparently were sitting near Mr. Toad for whatever reason. Whether or not they were trying to trick him into giving them Toad Hall again, especially since he wasn’t seen in their first shot, is up to debate. wild weasel “Foresters to Help” (H 22050) When forest ranger Donald Duck encounters a white-furred weasel with a slimy smile sneaking up on a panicking pheasant in its nest, he calls it “evil” and fires a warning shot with his rifle, scaring off both of them in opposite directions. Hey Donald, have you ever heard of “hunting”? At least he didn’t kill it, though it was only because both were “endangered” (they’re not). I think Donald needs to brush up on his wildlife. moar weezils House of Mouse season 4, episode #4- “Pete’s House of Villains” It is truly sad to see the enthusiasm for weasels fade and the variety created by the Toon Patrol disappear. In some ways a lot of Disney weasels nowadays are even more faceless than they were in Mr. Toad! These guys have almost no clothes! Mickey Saves the Day was released just around three years before this episode aired, and they were almost completely naked as well. It’s a strange contrast to the interesting variations seen in the rest of this series... the only thing that’s unique about them is their frighteningly large teeth and long, pointed tails- a first for classic-style weasels. These guys are particularly disappointing because it was rumored that they were the Toon Patrol themselves. But alas, they are not- so whoever started that rumor was simply being ignorant, assuming that because they have similar body and head shapes and fur color, that they could be nothing else but the Toon Patrol. What that tells us is that the person thought the Toon Patrol weasels were the only weasels, and that their costumes didn’t matter. Sheesh, at least check to see if they wore similar clothing! But I digress- Pete, who has always been a big blowhard, thinks that the show Mickey is putting on stinks and that he could do better. So what does he do? He appeals to those Disney fans that are obsessed with their villains and hires them to do all of Mickey’s staff’s jobs! The trouble begins when a group of weasels, who wear nothing but red bow ties, steal gold from one of the customers- Prince John from Robin Hood. When it turns out that the villains Pete hired are ruining costumer satisfaction, he fires them all, but not without some struggle. The weasels replaced the usual waiter penguins (which is more of a direct reference to WFRR than these weasels are, and also explains the bow ties), and they object to being fired- so they drop a safe on Pete. And the moral of the story is: don’t hire weasels as waiters, or they’ll rob the customers. Also, if you try to fire them, they’ll rebel against you. C’mon, Pete- they’ve been faithful to you so far! Don’t expect them to serve people food when their specialty is crime! Firing them is just gonna tick them off. Where else are they gonna find jobs? Besides cheese stores, I mean.

Wonder Weasel Kim Possible season 2, episode #11- “The Fearless Ferret” First, let me say that I never would’ve anticipated watching, much less writing about a Kim Possible episode. The series never attracted me, but due to the discovery of some screenshots from what is technically a Disney production, I had to be completist about it. Wonder Weasel was the eager sidekick of old-school superhero The Fearless Ferret, voiced by Adam West (big surprise). This series defines “old-school” as being the same as “cheesy”, which by extension means that a cheesy superhero can only be a parody of the ‘60s Batman television series, so don’t expect anything new besides a bipedal weasel that can fight crime with his fists. Why a weasel was chosen over the vastly more obvious choice of a ferret is conveniently ignored. His costume has a brown color scheme that closely matches Fearless Ferret’s costume, which doesn’t really coordinate with any ferret coloring that I’m aware of. He wears tights for his upper body, a belt, typical superhero gloves, a cape fastened by a yellow button, and a mask over his eyes. His chest has a big yellow “W” on it. He seems to have super strength, since he can punch out humans, which is odd because it appears that Fearless Ferret doesn’t have any superpowers. And if the show’s opening credits are any indication, he’s also kind of smarmy. Seeing as Fearless Ferret was actually played by an actor on a ‘60s TV show in the world of Kim Possible, one can presume that the actor who played Wonder Weasel, Weasel Wisinski, is now dead. That is, if animal lifespans are the same as ours in this world. bucktoothed weasel Brother Bear You might think that giving this little guy buck teeth would discount him, but so many people think that weasels are rodents (and it’s embarrassing to think that someone working for Disney animation thought so too), that the decidedly mustelid body trumps any mistakes. And besides, they give the raccoon buck teeth too. His/her fur is burnt orange color, while his/her belly and muzzle are colored more like honey butter. Unlike real weasels, this guy’s belly fur doesn’t reach up to his neck.

The Ogre-Weasels Wizards of Mickey comic series First appearing in episode two (“The Dolmen Swamp”), but not named until episode three (“The Secret of the Great Crown”), these diminutive weasels serve as the anonymous minions for Pete and his boss, the “Lord of Deception” (the Phantom Blot). With sometimes wolf-like features and loosely Medieval peasant/guard clothing (not unlike Malificent’s minions), these guys are distinctive, but yet again serving as a faceless horde of undistinguished baddies. One has to wonder what influenced the decision to give them the “ogre” label, other than perhaps their scruffy appearance, since ogres are known to be very large. Their design changes with almost every chapter they appear in, due to almost every issue being drawn by a different artist. Sometimes they have tails. For whatever reason, each subsequent artist didn’t pay attention to what the last one did- unlike the main characters, who change very, very little. As of 2012, only the first saga of the series is available in English, and Italian comics are hard to come by in the US- they do appear in the next saga, but their affiliation and situation will remain unclear until they’re translated. The official Wizards of Mickey website has this to say about them (translated by Google): “ORC-WEASELS They have the cruelty of orcs and the cleverness of weasels. Weasels are the orcs, monsters, warriors in the service of the Phantom Blot, who dig in the caves to find the entrance to the underground kingdom of the Dragons and understand the secrets of their old magic.” As much as cleverness is undoubtedly an admired trait for a weasel to have, there is overwhelming evidence against any of them having it. cute weasel Enchanted In a world where even the flippin’ badgers and warthogs are tooth-rottingly adorable and sing along with the would-be princess, this weasel gets to be full-blown cute. This guy helps Giselle decorate and everything. Although it would seem that he gets buck teeth anyway, despite giving the badger sharp canines. The film’s unusual animation style, although it recalls Disney’s golden age, suits him extremely well, making him the only cartoony weasel to exhibit a fairly realistic anatomy (other more realistic weasels don’t have quite so much anthropomorphizing). His body fur has the color of coffee with lots of cream, while his belly and muzzle is more like an almond. His muzzle is also kind of pointy, but it actually looks more like the real thing this time. Being the most recent Disney weasel, you have to wonder if this is an indication of changing attitudes towards toon weasels- but I’m not sure if it counts since this is a parody. Giselle could probably make friends with a chimera if she wanted, and even get it to sing harmony with her.

Walter Weasel “Walk the Straight and Narrow” (D 2006-340) There can be no doubt that Walter here is a weasel, simply because of his last name. Luckily this is supported by his pointed muzzle and ears, and of course his sneaky, amoral expression. Without these features, he’d look like an ordinary dogface, what with his flesh-tone fur. Walter’s clothing is all business, consisting of a blue suit, white shirt, purple striped tie, white gloves, brown shoes and a brown hat. His uncomfortably human-like hair is combed back and blonde, with a hint of small, disconnected mutton chops. From what is known about him, it can easily be said that Walter is the only weasel that’s truly heartless. He’s a con-man, and takes advantage of an innocent woman’s affections for him to get an expensive watch to sell at a pawn shop.

Winter weasels Secret of the Wings In the fifth Tinker Bell film, the fairies have the job of escorting the forest animals to the Winter Wood. Among them are a pair of weasels, much less anthropomorphized and much cuter than weasels of the past- much more like real weasels. As they jump over to the other side of the Winter Woods border, their fur becomes white. This is a real-life weasel trait that had not been acknowledged before. And yet, the movie prefers to ignore the fact that the rabbits these two are following are soon to be their dinner.

Lulu the Mink Sofia the First season 1, episode #2- “The Big Sleepover” You could argue that minks aren’t “weasels”, but the only thing that keeps the European mink from being a “weasel” is the lack of the word “weasel” in its name- it’s still part of the Mustela genus. The real question is whether or not Lulu here is an American mink (which admittedly has a much bigger population), because those are considered part of the Neovision genus. But there certainly cannot be a cushier position for any Mustelid than the royal pet. Lulu belongs to Princess Hildegard of the Kingdom of Friezenberg. The Princess is (at first) haughty and snobby, so I suppose you could say Lulu is an antagonist by proxy. She never speaks a single line (despite Sofia’s ability to talk to animals), but she does seems miffed that one of the girls likes unicorns better than minks. American minks do sometimes have white fur, but only rarely with selective breeding.

Final Thoughts Once again, as the classic cartoon revival dies, Disney weasels spiral into the randomness they had in the ‘60s and ‘70s, as seen by the three most recent creations and those that come before it. It’s a wonder that after all this time, these varied, unusual characters with such a fascinating legacy and history have not been given the same treatment as other minor Disney characters. It could be simply a matter of being too understated in the works they appear in, and never getting a chance to be fully developed. Their impact seems small compared to so many others. So why weasels? Well, if it weren’t for the widespread, if not deep effect that Mr. Toad and WFRR had on these interconnected characters, perhaps they’d only be as important as random foxes or wolves. But they are not- so many of them are based on a basic mold, but unlike Carl Barks’ dogfaces, they serve a much greater role than background filler. The majority of Disney’s weasels have very specific roots, and so it’s interesting to see when they deviate from them. The Toon Patrol represents the epitomizing of Disney weasels, and their pinnacle- their distinctive personalities and costumes make them stand out from the crowd, imprinting themselves onto anyone who is a fan of the film- and yet they have a small fandom. Perhaps the biggest mistake Disney made was to kill them off, denying them the chance to make a real second appearance (every other media appearance they make is sadly an adaptation of WFRR, while only Car Toon Spin represents a new story of any sort). That is the purpose of this guide- to reveal the underrated roles these characters play in the world of cartoons, and perhaps inspire more people to like them and thus give them the respect- and the chance- they never truly had. If anything, this guide is my two cents thrown into a wishing well.