GRASSGRASS STAINEDSTAINED MEMORIESMEMORIES –– AA taletale ofof Botches,Botches, BloodBlood andand Brickjaws,Brickjaws, --

TheThe ViolentViolent ImpactImpact WrestlingWrestling yearsyears AUTHOR'S NOTE

I Originally started writing these pages, well the bulk of them way back in 2005 when The Backyard Federation VIW was still running. Under the title “Behind the Barbed- wire” not very realistic a title as there was only a small amount of Barbed-wire used throughout the VIW years, a rough copy in 2006 was posted without my permission on the VIW website I was unhappy for a few reasons. Main being it wasn’t finished I wasn’t happy with it and asked it to be taken down and my wish was granted, I planned to rewrite it and post it back on the VIW home website in the future. Although it took many years of procrastination on my part and by now the website is gone all remaining a seldom visited forum, I still would like to tell the tale of “Violent ” and cram 6-7 years of memories into a few pages. But even thou I have took some care still these pages may include parts that may make some of the former VIW roster unhappy…but it wouldn’t be an interesting tale if I just walked on eggshells and cared too much about what Mikro thinks…

I have assumed that most people reading this have some knowledge of pro wrestling therefore when I describe a basic wrestling hold such as body slam or I won’t be giving a detailed explanation, if however a maneuver sounds odd or has a VIW signature name such a “Sinanator” I’ll provide a brief explanation if I believe needed.

Yes, a few years have now past since VIW tore up mine and your mother’s garden and was finally pinned for that symbolic 3 count…actually it was more of a tap out. I can now reflect back on a completed story. For respect sake I used pseudonyms on the wrestler’s names perhaps to protect their identity they may not want others in their life to know what stupid shit they did back in the day or they may not give a fuck what anyone thinks, however I’ll just be un-VIW and play it safe. Therefore inside or upside the ring (or action mattress/grass/sand zone) Diamond Eyes will always be referred to as Diamond Eyes for example. As for me the author well I’m an untrustworthy sarcastic narrator with a gods eye who maybe at times inserts a joke rather than the most accurate fact to keep you entertained but I was there from the beginning, right there alongside Hangman and Smudge, hell I might as well of been one of them…

Let’s be clear this book/story is not pro-backyard wrestling or Anti-backyard wrestling. There is enough of a debate on it in other books/videos etc you can go pick them up somewhere else I am not plugging their works go look for yourself I will focus and tell the little tale of Violent Impact Wrestling.

“For someone to do this shit you must have a major mental handicap!” Stevie Richards on backyard Wrestling - 2001

(Below- Legion of Spastics with Sin) It was formed for the sake of simple entertainment yet unconventional it was a backyard fed that would evolve to a dysfunctional family of misfits and this is their story (sorry E!). This is the rise and fall (cough) and rise and sizzling out slowly story of VIW enjoy.

-ACE Chapter one – Jackass meets wrestling

“Jackass meets Wrestling” was the title to one of the first highlight reels grappler Justice composed of VIW footage and many of the like-to-be-thought of- as wrestlers were slightly offended with the title, maybe they didn’t like being called jackasses or they just didn’t care for the MTV show and were more in favor of Dirty Sanchez. But in reflection the title was very apt to describe the VIW years, or maybe pluralize it into jackasses meet wrestling.

It all began in Stranraer the year was 2002 and as I believe most BYW stories start it began with wrestling fans with too much time on their wee hands and no girlfriends, The town of Stranraer, located in the region of Dumfries and Galloway is a Scottish town were everyone unfortunately sounds Irish. It has the population of 13,000 approx despite it being the largest of the towns in the Rhins it is still small with only a few shops and supporting one of the windiest football stadiums in Scotland, the town was best known for being the Irish connection, with ferries at that point in time traveling to and from Belfast daily and all future members of VIW were pimply adolescents apart from Lord Abortion who was probably 43.

During the fall of 2002 the two boys who would later backyard wrestle with the pseudonyms Hangman and Smudge had the idea to create a comedy sketch show that was wrestling related simple for their own personal amusement. Using a cheap low resolution web-cam they created the variety show/mini movie. Its characters, the main leads being the hosts, Hangman with Fabulous Ernie Penisdance, a Halloween masked drug addict and Smudge with Redneck Gregg, a stereotypical red, white and blue bumpkin who tried and failed to sound gangster and wore a tracksuit instead of overalls, along with old puppets as other characters added up the cast. The plot revolved around the build up to a fight between wrestling legend Hulk Hogan and his fictional homosexual twin brother named Hollywood Hulk Hogan. The main story stupid and immature in nature was Hulk Hogan was going to kick the pink out of Hollywood Hogan for being I quote “too gay” thus embarrassing his macho brother or as Hulk would pronounce “Brutha” in public. To add to the ludicrous story the fight was a wrestling match and not any ordinary wrestling match, no, this was a 5 pounds hanging above the ring . The flick simple named “Hogan Show” Unfortunately try as they didn’t, Hulk Hogan never showed up in Scotland to take part in the two sixteen years old web camera show. Although he might have heard of it (he could hear great distances by cupping his hand to his ear) jacked and twisted the idea into VH1 hit “Hogan knows best” but that’s as Ernie Penisdance catchphrase would become “that’s purely speculation” The Hogan’s in the show they fell back on were stuffed toys made in 1991 during the Hulkster’s heyday. The show had game shows, street talk, lots of swearing which is super cool to do at that (or any) age and music videos all the time the puppeteer’s hands being in clear view. Some of it was funny some jokes fallen flatter than Stacey Kieblers breasts. The main event at the end with tongue in cheek commentary was successful under the “it is so crap it was excellent” banner, Hollywood’s ambitions of using the 5 pound to buy butt plugs was ultimately fowled by the heroic homophobic Hulkster to end the show. lasting 1hour 11 minutes and 11 seconds the show was released on VCD format on the 1st of the 11th month as the legend goes, It was passed around locally notable to the man who would later play a large role in VIW Superhero1471 who showed the video to buddies usually before a night out. Soon on the Saturday night strangers where shouting “Hogan Show” at the man who portrayed Ernie Penisdance, it was figured to be a success (someone actually watched some of it and found it mildly enjoyable…probably part thanks to Alco-pops) plans for Hogan show 2 where made a lots of footage had already been shot mostly left over parts or delete scenes from Hogan Show episode 1. episode 2 was to be shot on the low- resolution web-cam just like the first, that produced blocky very pixelated images, for the sequel a fight between the great Brutha (Hulk Hogan) and the Great Mutha (Japanese wrestler the Great Muta) was the plot. The only reason this match was selected was that it was the only actual “real” Hogan match either two had on their computers, long before broadband and quick downloads were available and you could have about 200 matches in 3 minutes downloaded you lucky gits don’t know how good you have it.

For a new segment among many on the show a wrestling exhibition between 2 of the shows recurring characters Redneck Gregg and his equally inbred cousin Cletus played by Hangman was going to occur. Facing off in a backyard match or rather; barnyard match; as it was said for comedies sake although there was no big red barn, tractors or hay bails to be seen for miles, The concept of the match came after Hangman was able to get his hands on an actual video camcorder as opposed to the wired web cam. The Hogan Show was no longer confined to a single room, they celebrated as production value had gone through the roof, “Fuck future HD definition in the butt” they thought, going to more than one room in the house to shoot footage, “Fully mobile! Yeah baby yeah!” They cheered. The mock match between characters Redneck Gregg and his cousin/brother Cletus was a bonfire match idea coming about probably due to it being November near Guy- Fox night although the setting of this skit was Kentucky were I doubt bumpkins celebrate the stoppage of an English parliament terrorist attack. Smudge had make the ultimate and burnt one or two of his old Sunday Sports that day to help build up the bonfire; although it’s up to debate if a few crumbled up soft porn papers on a board of wood qualifies as a bonfire. This would be Smudge and Hangman first Backyard match (and it sucked donkey ass) graduating from the old days of bedroom wrestling as 2 retards (yes the gimmick was they were masked wrestlers with down syndrome) Slapper and Skinner, the most politically incorrect and immature ever L.O.S (legion of spastics) that was swiftly put to an end in early 1999 when Smudge got a permanent lump on the back of his noggin after delivering a diamond cutter to Hangman and smashing his own head off a headboard…then their tag team name came into a strange dispute when they were informed by a relative the name Legion of spastics was rather offence and wrong (who knew?) so they changed it to Legion of Spongs as that was okay. Making fun of retards is fine making fun of people with spastic disorder is bad… ah we all live and learn.

“Dang man ma hat” Redneck Gregg 2002

Highlights or better lowlights to be remembered of this match was Redneck Gregg overselling* The Stone Cold Stunner nearly as bad as The Rock at Wrestlemania 17 cart-wheeling, rolling and accidentally crushing his own red coloured beer funnel hat in the process to the laughter of all (being 2) the match climaxed with Cletus somersaulting/falling into the bonfire. Superhero1471 was a jack of all trades operating as cameraman, commentator and announcer and was so shocked by the bump he moved and the camera completely missed it on tape. (The match is lost like a burnt to ashes Sunday sports paper as the first and second VIW match was taped over it.) Later being somewhat shameless Hangman showed the wrestle-crap that was the inbred bonfire scrap to the wrestler later to grace VIW with his presence Sin, who down played it as rubbish. Yet it was meant to be crap and bad in the sense it was not a serious match rather than a comedy performance for the Hogan show. (Yet it was unintentional poor as it had failed at being entertaining). Sin however failed to grasp this concept, this or he thought they were making an excuse for the lack of skills shown and proceeded to tell them he had a backyard wrestling fed that was way better and far more skilled and dangerous, apparently he had even fractured his own arm performing a frog splash of the top of Park School roof on to some person called Justice.

So 2002 turned to 2003 the wee baby lambs started to pop up in the fields, actually they didn’t Stranraer just started to smell like cow shit and plans started to circulate about another side project to Hogan show either a backyard fed or a jackass like program that would involve Hangman riding his bike of the local pier and other acts of teenage stupidity.

“All those disclaimers made me want to do it more” Millhouse 2001

Eventually after a few chats walking home from school a wrestling fed was agreed on Hangman would of went either way with the idea but Smudge was more keen on the idea of backyard wrestling as opposed to Jackass were injury was pretty much always guaranteed with wrestling it’s a tad more avoidable (what a wimp) the fed was named Violent Impact Wrestling or V.I.W for short, Hangman came up with the name likely inspired by an American backyard turned indie wrestling company High Impact Wrestling. Due to VIW, Hogan show 2 was put on hold and pretty much widely ignored. In 2004 a virus caused all off Hogan show 2 footage to be wiped from the PC it was stored on, with no back up discs it looked like it would never be released as neither 2 men wanted to start from scratch. Later a brand new constructed Hogan show 2 would be completed but that was four long years after the original in the summer of 2006. ( above - Fabulous Ernie Penisdance – both masks shown. Originally the blue (right) was just for the Hogan show and the Orange (left) mask was for VIW but he ended up mostly wearing the blue as he just favoured it. (Picture taken from the eventually 2006 Hogan Show 2 release)

*selling- make a wrestling move look sorer by witheringly in pain, over-sell is to over react and to no-sell is to act like the move didn’t hurt.

CHAPTER 2 – Jobbers and robbers

The original plan before it began for VIW was to do just a few matches involving a few wrestlers, Hangman, Smudge, Superhero1471, Theodore Schlong and a few others this all throughout the late spring and summer of 2003 then the climax match/event would happen in August at an old abandoned pier where power wrestling moves could be used to throw people into the sea etc, before people left for college in the hopes of dorm cherry popping. That landing place was never visited as VIW far from ended in 2003, no one knew or could have predicted it would last as long as it did. If VIW didn’t get all the wrestlers it did there was no chance the fed would have survived after summer 2003 or reach it’s minor cult regional popularity.

“Nobody is to take this shit seriously…” Bob Calhoun

VIW unlike other backyard feds was not taking too seriously as at the end of the day it was a bunch of friends/dumb-asses wrestling in fields/backyards/ beaches/construction sites throwing each other about and a lot of it underlining themes was copied of Juggalo Championship Wrestling that was comedy based pro- wrestling promotion run by Hangman’s favourite band Insane Clown Posse. Whatever the main thing was to have fun this always came over in commentary as at most show apart from a few more semi serious super cards they would take the piss out of each other told jokes and did comedy skits, although there was a serious side as some tried to improve constantly, wither that was wrestling skills, character or just keeping a storyline saga on going. Despite the “fame” of the UK Backyard wrestling Forum that was popularized in the UK Documentary on Backyard wrestling “Lock up your sons”. VIW mostly stayed away from it and never had any inter-feds with the English or Welsh feds. I don’t think they seen “experienced” untrained wrestlers telling other untrained wrestlers how to take moves (or bumps) correctly was the best advice to take to heart. There was not many other Scottish backyard wrestling feds either the only ones heard of were A.W.A (Aberdeen based) and HGW (Glasgow based) and travelling was never one of VIW strengths as most of the roster failed to get their driving licenses or even attempt to gain them.

A few days before the inaugural VIW show in March 2003 Hangman and Smudge discussed what weapons they were going to use pretty much with Jackass plans scrapped it was going to be “hardcore” fed which in backyard generally means using weapons to cover up lack of wrestling ability. they collected pretty much any disposable crap they could find in their garages by the end they had almost everything needed bats, buckets, chairs, fake blood left over from Halloween, mattress for slams and also most important the camera. But what they thought would look visually impressive as a weapon was tables. Now of course I mean the wrestling tables that are gimmicked and made so thin bodies can be slammed through them, they had no plans of borrowing the neighbours 200 quid coffee table and power-bombing each other through it and gluing it back together. These gimmick tables were out off reach and budget as a result they looked for the next best thing makeshift wrestling tables which are simply a piece of thin plywood that gets propped between two items normally chairs during a match and a wrestling move e.g. body slam; is performed through it.

Smudge and Hangman set out at 1am at night on what I believe was a Friday to find boards of wood for these makeshift tables the first place they thought to look was successful, an unoccupied house still under construction that was less than half complete, this was no excuse for stealing but they were taken the wood from a place no one would miss it (still no excuse). The house had been often used as a shortcut between Smudges house and the main road since the old residence was knocked down in the late 90s. As they poked around in the darkness (stop giggling) they managed to obtain wood (I said stop giggling) these boards 5 in total took 2 trips to haul to Hangman’s garden. On the second trip they where walking up the road to Hangman’s house carrying boards under their arms each. As they rounded the junction into the quiet road that Hangman’s house was situated, a car drove up past them, then stopped a few yards in front of them however from the area, time and location it wasn’t possible for anyone to have seen them take the lumber, not saying by any means it was quite as elaborate a heist as Ocean’s 11 but in any event all this man could see was two teenagers caring 2 boards of wood, yes it may of looked slightly suspicious but the boys shrugged it off it was none of this driver’s business. They kept on walking and the car sped off when they got a few yards closer. But then they found out it was this man’s business as Hangman and Smudge were on his road as the car pulled into the driveway at the top of the road and disappeared around a large hedge. Hangman’s neighbourhood was a nice looking area with big houses and large neat gardens however it did appear to be a slightly close-minded, closed off and very paranoid upper middle class community (maybe rightfully because now smelly thieving immature ruffian backyard wrestlers were planning an invasion) evidence one time the police were phoned and came out as Smudge had been waiting 10 minutes outside Hangman’s house on him but looked “suspicious”…I hope those people don’t go bankrupt and relocate to Mount Vernon in Stranraer they will have the police out every 15 minutes (maybe seconds) The two boys got to the top of the road the man in the car was now at the front of his driveway this 3 houses down from Hangman’s residence with his dog glancing at them, they maybe should have said something to defuse the mans worries like a friendly hello but they just talked small with each other and carried on. Now I will admit if the future BYW jobbers had been caring a large ladder at 1am it would of looked bad like they were intending to break in to a bedroom window however this was 2 boards of wood apart from building a very small tree-house, boarding up a broken window or slamming your mate voluntarily through it for joy it’s not much of a threat to anyone. However very suspicious of what was going on the man went to his drive way and checking out and to later knowledge probably Hangman and Smudges physical description or he may of just been a bit of a closeted bender and checking the studs out at a late hour for a deposit in the spank bank (probably kidding) the genuine paranoia of white suburbia took over, 2 teenagers with boards of wood, evil doing was afoot and he had to perform his civic duty, or face the consequences that could come, heck, society could collapse.

After dumping the final boards into Hangman’s Gallows or namely the front garden behind a tree, Hangman saying he would deal with them later, he didn’t want to carry them over the crunchy gravel make noise and risk waking his family members at that hour, They ventured back to Smudges leaving Hangman’s road the same way they had entered to cross the main road they had to cross quickly as a car was approaching up at an alarming rate at first they just assumed it was the usual Stranraer clayhole cruisers but as they looked back it was a police car zooming by probably heading out to some trouble in Leswalt. Then unexpectedly fear struck into Hangman and Smudges little hearts when the car screeched to a halt and began to reverse at the top of the avenue and headed back towards them, the car had been going way too fast to stop immediately right next to them. Smudge just said “walk”. They causally walked to the small alley (*not casual enough to whistle but casual enough*) that was only a few steps away when they got to it and knew that the officers in the car couldn’t see them they bolted. As they ran Hangman asked if there was a hiding place Smudge had to say “no” so they just sprinted taking every short cut through any gardens they could to get to Smudge’s house quicker, not climbing but vaulting over fences showing more skill than they ever did at high school P.E (or half their VIW matches) and reached Smudges house got in, locked the door tightly and put all the lights in the house out….living in the paranoid neighbourhood had rubbed of on them. After calming down and fear flushed away they discussing what over-exaggerated claim Hangman’s neighbour may have said to the police to have them come up at such a haste (It seems reasonable to assume that it was him who phoned the police)

After about an hour or 3 Hangman left later than planned, but what was still planned was for VIW to be born. Heavy on doubt that the police could stop them especially in their own gardens, But Hangman, Smudge and soon to be assembled VIW crew would meet the police again but that my dear child is a later chapter. CHAPTER 3 – Hangman vs. Smudge, Hangman vs. Smudge, oh and Smudge vs. Hangman.

The inaugural VIW show took place in March 2003 It was a private affair with only, Smudge, Hangman and the camera man and commentator Theodore Schlong, who still at high school may off skived off that rare day to make the show as the house would be empty, Hangman’s residence was large with a big front garden, however the back garden was rather small in comparison at the side was a large woodshed next to it and on the right a large tree with the gravel drive way in front of it. It was very private so there was little chance of the paranoid neighbours phoning to complain or people bothering them. The VIW wrestling ring base was no ring at all 2 old mattresses pilled onto of each other and a little too bouncy, the weather was neither hot nor cold. Hangman had chosen the name “The Juggala” as his wrestling persona this came from a track by his favourite band at the time Insane Clown Posse. He quickly soured on this (the name, not the band) probably because it sounded like a name that seems to come accompanied with face-paint and a set of balls which Hangman had none (zing!) He came up with “Hangman” by the time of the 2nd show. The first VIW match was The Juggala vs. Smudge for the first VIW champion. Hangman had hand crafted the championship himself originally the idea was to do what many other BYW feds and even professional independent wrestling companies do and that is purchase a replica WWF belt and slightly modify it into your title, but Hangman took the time and with a pair of scissors, a label maker, pens, some tape and an old bathroom carpet and created….a hunk of bathroom carpet with the worlds VIW championship stapled on it that was too small to put round the waist of a 9 year old Ugandan and it smelt faintly of urine and unwashed feet (ok the scent comments ain’t true) so it was quickly replaced by the 5th show with the modified WWF belt idea.

(Success! the original VIW championship and later IR championship held up By Dr Frankenstein…I mean the creator Hangman in 2006) The event wanted to be started quickly before it got dark or more importantly before parents came home and find fault in the activity of Backyard wrestling. Smudge name he thought up sometime ago but wasn’t sure of it, Smudge is more a name you give to a pet cat than a foul mouthed wrestler who brings staged carnage unless it’s meant to be ironic. As Hangman/The Juggala and Theodore Schlong, VIW appointed cameraman and today’s commentator and referee as Superhero1471 had failed to appear that day Went through CDs to select entrance themes, Smudge thought of some other names all lukewarm to his names like “soul reaper” and “cemetery” he thought they sounded cheesy so he just said Smudge and that stuck. Smudge had no real gimmick at first, dressed rather odd with old striped trousers from a Halloween pirate costume and a t- shirt that featured some type of cartoon character like Gromit or Taz (the loony tune not the suplex machine) After a short time of practicing that involved basically The Juggala throwing Smudge and him selling, the match began. Although pretty decent at selling the wrestling moves Smudge wrestling was inferior to Hangman’s at this time it mostly involved face-plant like manoeuvres such as the DDT (put opponent in a front headlock and drop down putting their head into the ground), the pedigree (hook both opponents arms and drive him down into the ground) and the running bulldog (charging headlock from behind dropping opponent into the ground) Smudge was only a slim 11 stone and The Juggala was somewhere in the 13-14 stone area and Smudge couldn’t lift him for moves.

For the match some hair brained ideas were thought up others were ok. They knew it would be mostly a weapons match that they had supplied in abundance to cover up the lack of grappling skills. Smudge comments. “some ideas we had at the time where Soft looking back one being the “Riddle Box” it was a box with a question mark on it with hardcore stuff in it but we would land on the box not touching the stuff inside then it would be opened up to reveal what was inside…what a dud, luckily we never used it in are matches”

On review the first VIW match was far from good but it was not god awful terrible especially for backyard standards and a backyarder’s first contest.(the 2002 bonfire brawl we will omit as was a comedy encounter and was not done in the same manner of style as a VIW contest) The kendo sticks and getting the wooden boards smacked over their backs must have hurt like hell. They battled around the back garden Smudge messing up a splash off the top of a ladder kicking it back and he dove head butting himself into the grass it got named the “kamikaze drop” and this blooper would have to be repeated 2 more times within a 2 months span till Smudge learned his lesson and gave up jumping of ladders for life. Interesting was that Smudge was chosen to win the first match and become the first champion Theodore Schlong and all agreed before the match started. But after almost half an hour of getting his ass kicked by the Juggala and the match having no real sign of ever ending Smudge actually stayed down it finally ended with the Juggala performing a Sinton bomb (somersault) of the ladder that mostly missed but Smudge just couldn’t or refused to kick out and the Juggala was crowned champion unplanned. Hangman and Smudge watched the match and were pleased enough with the performance there was a few screw ups and it went on far too long but there was one or two moves performed well and compared to the November 2002 Bonfire it was Wrestlemania, but the most obvious bad part about the match was Theodore’s Commentary.

In April 2003 the 2nd match occurred during what was the schools Easter holidays and was almost a clone copy of the first show it was again one match Hangman and Smudge in a rematch for the carpet/championship with them still the only roster members it was the only choice it descended into another half hour weapons brawl mostly with the same or similar spots just slightly better performed Hangman covered Smudge in wood and fencing and did another Sinton this time it hit full impact and Smudge blacked out for a few seconds. But the big If only real difference in this match was Smudge was victorious and the new VIW champion…out of 2 people it’s best to be number 1. The Juggala now announced as Hangman which he would keep throughout his time performing in VIW acted the sore loser punched Smudge in the nuts and snatched the title this would help lead up to a future ladder match down the road. The biggest mistake again in the matches was probably Theodore Schlong who would call moves wrong slams would be called suplexs, Sinton bombs would be called cartwheels and elbow drops would be called kamala splashes furthermore he kept calling Hangman the previous name of Juggala and the song of “gay bar” by Electric Six suddenly went off on his mobile as his mummy called him in the middle of the match, despite this he did manage to count all the way up to 3 to end the contest.

A month later the third show. More wrestlers were wanted and needed but pickings were slim in Stranraer. Superhero1471 was meant to join and with him he would bring Mad Sid. But on this day he cancelled his girlfriend did not like the idea of VIW, it was childish and we were all to grow up, she was probably right but guys being guys therefore were not going to listen…actually Superhero1471 did cancel. Disappointed Mad Sid and the Superhero would not appear this day and even more unhappily this meant yet again another Smudge vs. Hangman battle. To change things up it took place in a different garden this being Smudge’s residence which would later be named the X-ecution arena. The match was a ladder match over the stolen belt. The belt was not hanging from the ceiling like traditional ladder matches of course as they were outside in a garden and they just were a few penny’s short and could not afford renting that helicopter to hover over the garden with the prestigious carpet belt hanging from a cable so we instead used the rain gutter to hang the belt. In a match slightly worse than their 2nd match but better than the 1st Smudge defeated Hangman. Smudge threw chairs and double stomped on Hangman’s stomach before getting his title down from the roof Hangman complained claiming Smudge had been too rough with the stomping and they wouldn’t face again. This only left two options; 1) Hangman and Smudge tag team together against that diabolical debuting tag team who have the powers of invisibility or (2) wait till others joined….they waited. CHAPTER 4 – Allison Protection to the rescue.

Superhero1471 and Mad Sid debuted at the 4th show Theodore Schlong was no were to be seen, not too many tears were shed, but wrestlers had to take up camera and commentary duties when their match wasn’t taking place. Superhero1471 debut was announced the first day VIW launched their website on 50megs.com that consisted of a match results page, 2 personal pages by Smudge and Hangman and a profile page on the wrestlers which pretty much consisted of childish name calling each other and any potential VIW wrestler. Superhero1471 was a friend of Smudge and Hangman’s years prior to VIW and a wrestling fan his favourite being Stone Cold Steve Austin in his early matches he wore an Austin shirt and emulated him one of his signature moves being the stunner. The name Superhero1471 was simply his online name from internet chat rooms. Superhero1471 gimmick/joke was he didn’t look or act like a superhero and mostly was a bad role model as his plans were to fly around the world; kick ass, drink too much beer and pump Britney Spears (This is Britney Spears circa 2003 not the shaved head or the fat white trash version) He produced power moves out of nowhere his finisher being the F5 (a fire-mans carry into a spinning cyclone slam) and his trademark became F5ing people or “around the world” as he called it into trees or bushes and also once soaking Hangman’s washing with a hose to piss him off. you can say a lot about Mad Sid and I surely will in later chapters, who would spend most of his VIW years as Rush so I’ll be using that pseudonym mostly (although it may go back and forth to Mad Sid throughout these early chapters, forgive me). He was one of VIW most fascinating characters inside and outside VIW and life would have been a lot less entertaining without him. Superhero1471 brought Rush into VIW he was a year and a half younger than the rest of VIW. He was a friend of Superhero1471 and an acquaintance of Smudge and Hangman and likewise a big wrestling fan. All were lukewarm to the Mad Sid gimmick he came up with, It’s origin came from the fact he shared the same similar facial features of former Pro- wrestling champion Psycho Sid Vicious notable the brick jaw, although he would grow to be six foot tall rather than Sid’s seven) Of the few present in VIW they didn’t want parodies/wannabes in the fed you may ask why they didn’t, it is because as criticized as backyard wrestling goes for obvious and justifiable reasons and even though wrestling is phoney and characters are pretending or whatever they didn’t want to be seen as someone once said “pretending to be Hulk Hogan” just like a Sunday casual kick about with their mates they are playing football they’re not pretending or wanting to be seen as pretending to be David Beckham or the Scottish squad.

But with VIW wanting more wrestlers they agreed to it. So Rush’s Mad Sid character was born on the website his profile said he hailed from Arkansas USA same as his speculated biological father. In early matches his most noticeable trait was his multiple pile drivers probably because he only had a limiting move ring set his finisher being a spinning inverted reverse DDT that Hangman called it the long-winded title of “nightmare on Mad Sid Street” …if you got that obscure WCW reference son, you’re a real wrestling nerd.

Even before entering VIW, Mad Sid on hearing about it wanted to be in a tag team with friend Superhero1471 called the A.P.A (Allison Protection Agency) or even less original if possible “The Brood”, He would make a big pitch trying to make the team idea sound good. VIW with a stable of a colossal(that’s not a mistake it’s sarcasm) 4 wrestlers an alliance was seen as pointless and limiting the already small number of matches you can have with 4 people if 2 had an alliance, also Superhero1471 didn’t use the name Allison in VIW…and Allison was only Mad Sid’s middle name. But VIW bended just so we got more wrestlers and went along with it the team never had a name and Superhero1471 didn’t really care for being in the team they both attacked Smudge after their first match and had a few following tags on and off camera but the alliance didn’t last and by VIW 5th or 6th recorded show Superhero1471 kicked Mad Sid’s backside on camera after being the special referee and a rivalry began which would last throughout their entire stay in VIW. The only problem Superhero1471 seen in the tag team break up was now he had to face Mad Sid in singles competition and often in the earlier days Mad Sid was criticised or being not very flexible Superhero1471 once described it as wrestling a plank of wood. It took him longer to sell moves than others some day’s he only sold when he was actually hurt like most people from the early days this he changed and his performance dramatically with improvements. Mad Sid did help VIW by trying to bring 3 new people in at the same time. One was J- Cane who’s wrestling experience consisted of a visit to Mad Sid’s house and getting power bombed through a Mad-bed destroying it, causing a ranting lecture from Mad Mum. Another guy nicknamed unflattering Saggy and finally John. Well Cane and Saggy didn’t seem to care enough or want to join opting for the choice of viewers over participants. Saggy to note to people who care way too much about pointless things was going to be named Angel despite some loose skin allegations he did not appear deformed like all other wrestling Angels, I believe the VIW brain-trust glanced at his rock style hooded top that had the word angel plastered on it was the origin after Saggy was unable to come up with his own wrestling pseudonym. To his credit he participated in a dark match (not recorded) battle royal gauntlet and then vanished from the VIW garden returning to the real world. However John joined the VIW clique later to go on to VIW fame (if such a thing existed) as Johnberg. John was the same age as Mad Sid. He was christened at first the Disco Kid who was a fun loving dancing character who character story reflected real life as sourced from the VIW website partied all night at the illusion night club and failed to show up to events due to hangovers. For a costume he wore cut off jeans which where a bit above knee heights so they got mocked as hot pants by commentators. Disco in 2003 was considered by many to be the worst wrestler In VIW so far. He didn’t like to take bumps and at times was criticised to be very stiff with his opponents his move set was limited and he overused the DDT. VIW is worked as in staged, but in early matches on occasion he started to punch into his opponent for real and the ref had to tell him to calm down. Later on that month Hangman had a match with him early on he went to suplex Disco Kid, Disco floated over incorrectly for the flip and his right knee came crashing down on Hangman’s nose almost breaking it, This was a common danger in VIW in the earlier days a number of the wrestlers performed or took the common wrestling suplex badly probably due to a lack of strength, balance and proper training on both peoples parts. The variation done was a snap suplex that got nicknamed “the roly-poly” as it looked like a forward roll rather than a wrestling move after seeing how bad it looked on camera people put more effort into their suplexs.

Another moment to show Disco Kids fear of bumping is hard to describe but will be remembered by all who seen it Superhero picked the boogie knight up for a body slam to put him through a makeshift table. In wrestling all moves come down to cooperation, it takes some assistance on either mans part to make a move look good however Disco Kid sandbagged himself as Superhero attempted to lift him of the ground and Disco half hopped over to the knee height makeshift table in Superhero’s arms and then he slipped across the makeshift table not breaking it and flopped to the grass in one of the lamest bumps on record. This match also featured “Disco Kid locked in the ankle grind by Superhero1471, the so typical to wrestling referee was incapacitated, who by this time without any indication of antagonistic tactics got the hell-beat out of him by the wrestlers (old wrestling psychology was far from mastered in matches) Disco Kid started tapping out, I mean really tapping out with his arms and free leg started pounding the mat a hundred miles an hour, as he flopped about, he looked like a fish out of his bowl splashing on the floor hence it got mocked as “the goldfish” for months.

Disco kid botch’s suplex landing on Hangman Nose)

At this point Smudge went to work at a Hotel, as a trainee chef so although he was VIW champion he didn’t show up much due to the long unsociable hours. This led to the understandable reason of taking the title of him; originally he was going to be stripped of it, however Smudge actually made a rare appearance and lost the belt after a draw and it was declared vacant in a poor forgettable outing, a triple threat against Mad Sid and Disco Kid in Superhero1471 garden of his council house he rented at the time. The match ended when they all knocked each other down with wooden boards and somehow managed a triple pin although they had to do the stunt twice it seemed as someone messed it up and fell in the wrong direction and didn’t land for the pin rather falling in the opposite direction leaving the other 2 grapplers looking like they were spooning each other. When the show was over VIW had no champion this would allow for the VIW gang to build up to the first super- named Barely Illegal.

A Short chapter for a short career

Disco Kid was reinvented as Johnberg. Just by the way he wrestled stiff Disco Kid didn’t seem like the right gimmick and joking on a Saturday night while drinking with Disco and some other VIW members, Hangman suggested the names John Shamrock or Johnberg due to his aforementioned wrestling style and well the joke was taking to heart and Johnberg was born, no more funky Bee Gees music and Saturday Night Fever impressions for John after missing a show as the boogie knight blaming a pile driver by Mad Sid hurting his neck he came back as Johnberg. We claimed him to be a 7th time Mixed Martial Art UFC champion which ended up being a nasty inside joke of fiction that meant that 7 people had said (ur fucking crap) when they seen him wrestle. As from the name his gimmick was a parody of Gillberg who in turn was a parody of Goldberg if you can wrap your head around that. His Entrance featured the same gladiator themed music as those wrestlers and he came out snorting and roaring into the garden crushing the dandelions on the way, although he never shaved his golden curls off into a baldy and probably couldn’t grow a beard at this age the transformation pretty much looked like Disco Kid had started wearing tracksuit bottoms instead of cut-off jeans or as said in VIW, hot pants. He performed the same trademark moves as Goldberg such as the spear (running tackle) and with time John improved slowly although the DDT was always common, he wasn’t as stiff in matches and planned his moves ahead more...but of course there was the exception at times such as with Roach.

ROACH was the 6th person to join VIW and is widely forgotten about even by long term members forgot he was there probably Roach himself forgets he was in VIW and be shocked that he is being mentioned in the tale actually if he reads this he probably forget it’s him I’m talking about. Brought in by Mad Sid as a new wrestler by looks of things at the beginning it was thought he would have been around for sometime he seemed pleasant at least by the low VIW standards and got on with most of the crew but this was not to be though. Roach was of small stature with rat like features and not over 5,5 maybe 9 stone and about 14 years of old and despite the wrestling name was in fact human (who would of guessed). He could do a nice tornado DDT but that’s about all the wrestling ability he offered. He will be remembered for...... actually no, no he won’t, the end. I could finish his tale there but I won’t Roach was the non-giant killer of VIW. VIW had put him in a match against Johnberg which is symbolic of the lion versus the Christian. Rumour at the time was there was already animosity between the two as Roach had stolen Johnberg’s women in real life although this rumour still remains purely speculation to this day. in the first and would be last wrestling encounter of the two, Roach unwisely wore football beats and because it was summer Johnberg wrestled topless, the match started and Roach kicked John in the gut and from eye witness accounts, after the second kick Johnberg had lost his temper and beat the holy hell out of Roach working stiff Roach showed absolutely no offence as Johnberg would not allow it and lost the match rather quickly. Roach didn’t go away though he was back a week or so later on…coincidently a day when Johnberg couldn’t make it. Smudge and Superxero commentated on Roach vs. Hangman. Hangman was booked to win but early in the match Hangman gave Roach a simple vertical suplex onto the mattress, followed with a cover for the win to his own surprise and everyone’s. Roach claimed he got winded and couldn’t kick out that was the last time we seen him wrestling he was clearly not built for it at that age. He was meant to appear at the first VIW super-card taking part in the first ever Inter-Regional title match roof match, however he never showed up or ever again and that was the end of Roach as a VIW wrestler. Last he was seen on camera was as a spectator at VIW X-Ecution super-card in 2004 but he never volunteered or was asked to return.

The Secret Identity of BASEMENT JACK

I don’t want to be called retard or spaka I want to be cheered, have a nice day… now get that camera out of my fucking face!. – Basement Jack 2004

Anyone who watched a VIW tape knew who the masked Basement Jack was and if you attended a show you would definitely know, the organisation never treated the small audience like marks and if they had tried would have probably failed miserably “they hate each other but are strategically slamming each other on the mattress rather than the hard dirt?” the fans would think. Hell, the man would put on his Basement Jack costume in front of them it was not like VIW had dressing rooms or even a portaloo to change in. But if I am about to ruin the great and magical spectacle by cracking the mystery on Basement Jack for some, please close the book or laptop or turn your head away and do something else like go fuck yourselves. The mystery was ruined years ago pretty much 20 seconds into the first Basement Jack match to be precise, as Hangman and Jack circled the grubby mattress laying in the centre of Madison Square George’s Garden, the bell rang… actually they couldn’t even afford a bell or were just too cheap as Scottish folk are, they got the commentator to say “ding! ding!” Hangman smashed a board of wood over the debuting Jack’s head sending him crashed to the ground, Hangman quickly knelt down to drag his opponent back up for some other wrestling manoeuvre as he attempted this he tore Basement Jacks mask clean off revealing…Mad Sid! (insert dramatic sting sound effect). Basement Jack had come about after the first thumbtack shot in VIW. Smudge at the 5th VIW show got slammed onto a few drawing pins (VIW commentators watched too much American wrestling so always used their Americanism Thumb tacks) About 2 dozen which at the time was a shocking move to witness in VIW as it had not been seen before. The T-Shirt he was wearing prevented it being too severe but the reaction was big from the few in attendance. Mad Sid afterwards said if he were doing his “Mankind” character he would take the hardcore bumps like that unlike Mad Sid who apparently wouldn’t in attempt again to market his new gimmick. Mankind who some may not know was a wrestling character portrayed by wrestling legend who performed a dangerous brawling style of wrestling called hardcore that involved wild and spectacular bumps such as falling of high structures and other stunts to entertain as opposed to traditional wrestling, Mankind was one of the personas he adopted for some years in the World Wrestling Federation a wild neglected demented character that lived in a basement talking to rats who wore a sock on his hand and stuffed it down peoples gullets.

Just like Mad Sid, Rush wanted to do another imitation, Lukewarm to negative was he general feeling about the character beforehand, Now in retrospect I think most in the VIW circle would agree that the Basement Jack character was very entertaining but at the beginning it didn’t seem like a great idea thought up in part by Rush and Hangman but to his credit Rush pulled it off with his mimic voice and pig screams and doing all of mankind’s moves unlike Mad Sid he was advertised as a parody so it worked. His screams where identical to Foleys. Armed with smelly sock in hand (he usually had to borrow someone else’s as he kept forgetting to bring an extra one to events) but the character was too much of a joke to be taken serious or ever get be put in the higher profile matches and was pretty much demoted to the jobber (constant loser) of early VIW and mocked by commentaries without mercy. No one would lay down for him, bar a few select matches that were few and far between. Basement Jack debut will be remembered as a comical shock-master like moment (that’s WCW Reference) and because of this he upgraded his mask and later his costume to prevent these wardrobe malfunctions. Thoughts about clothing breakdowns like nip slips and shaft gaffs, ill move onto Sin who swore on his life he had seen RVD penis pop out on an ECW show.

Basement Jack 2003 - Debut BASEMENT JACK - 2006

XTREME BEACH WRESTLING

As VIW continued mostly with 4 men being Johnberg, Superhero1471, Hangman and Mad Sid who altered between Basement Jack to bulk up the tiny roster, Smudge was out of the picture still working full time and Roach had vanished. VIW took place often in the months of May and June 2003 sometimes 3 times a week, still rotating between Hangman’s and Superhero’s gardens this helped them get more practice in and slowly improve, although Sometimes Hangman didn’t bring the camera and wrestlers started to completely refuse to do dark matches, most of the fun they got was watching the match back afterwards and seen non recorded matches as rather pointless and became unmotivated to perform. The club evolved a little as matches got more hardcore and bloody attempting to make the V in VIW seem honest even if the mattress may of made things still look soft, they got rid of fake blood and Hangman started to get busted open for real with a hacksaw and miraculously never caught some infection as the saw wasn’t new it was speckled with rust. The memory that most stands out from this time was the table slice incident that would unfortunately occur to Superhero1471 while taken on his new rival his former team mate Mad Sid. After an average encounter between the 2 as they battled over Madison Square George’s uncut Garden it slowly build up to finale what was going to be Superhero1471 jumping of a wooden ladder and splashing Mad Sid through a makeshift table for the victory. After being weaken by Superhero1471 trademark move set of Stunners, around the worlds and kicks to the groin. Pre-planned Mad Sid was laid on a makeshift table and Superhero scaled the ladder going for the big splash. The superhero rocketed of the ladder, suddenly unplanned Mad Sid moved this flipped the table up vertical as Superhero was in mid air he couldn’t stop; crashing down hard, his stomach going right into the of the board. As bad as it sounds, the next sound was funny as hell as Superhero1471 recovered enough to pick up a board of wood and smashed it full force over Mad Sid’s skull. Without a word being spoken the shot with the wood echoed up McDowell drive and indicated loud and clear from Superhero to Mad Sid “You stupid bastard”. Superhero won the match a few seconds later walking away with the victory and a big sore red line round his midsection.

In the following weeks Sin and Justice would debut in VIW but it was far from their first match. They belonged to another backyard fed which Justice created called XBW. XBW stood for Xtreme British Wrestling, originally Xtreme Beach Wrestling as all their past matches took place on the beaches near Port Patrick for sometime. Although it’s been debated how much Xtreme British Wrestling did or did not do before showing up in VIW, these doubts being raised going back to an early untruth that one of their performers claimed they had a wrestling ring. From what’s believed It was created between 2001-2002 they did about a half a dozen matches or at least practiced moves rarely and the fed had about 5 wrestlers. (Hotshot McColm, MIKRO, Justice, Sin and a few others) they had no video camera so they took photos instead, once showing Hangman back when they were all at school together in late 2002, Hangman remembering this and invited them to VIW. Although they decided to remain XBW even though there roster now was only the 2 of them thinking it would be cool for VIW (vs.) XBW matches. A mini wrestling invasion angle could occur.

No matter how much of XBW was true or not Sin looked like he had played the game before he was the stand out with his large move set and high-flying moves imitating off pros such as penis popping Rob Van Dam and his attire with combat trousers and netted gloves that went from his hands to his elbows also imitated Hardy, with a smaller stature an his size he was easy to perform moves to, but for his size he had a lot of strength and could lift and throw people a lot heavier than himself also he had the athletic ability to perform flips such as the (back flip into body splash) and the 450 degree splash. After just one show Hangman said Sin was the best out of everyone doing the backyard wrestling in that area although he sometimes stalled a bit too long before a jump and could get winded easier than other VIW guys. Justice a lot taller and stronger than Sin did more ground base moves nicknamed the Hate criminal his character was a mean bastard who’s gimmick had stuff to do being a judge, jury and executioner of wrestling with trademark moves being named things like “the closing statement”. Justice all around was a good solid wrestler although he sometimes screamed a bit too load and a bit too girly when getting hit which was mocked on VIW Shop-zone webpage by Hangman typing that there was a 17 track album of Justice “screaming like a bitch” album for nobody to buy. Justice got attention with his finishing move called the Justice Driver a backwards tombstone known in wrestling circles as a hangman neck drop. All were scared to take the move in fear of ending up a paraplegic apart from Sin cause of how light he was Justice could control the finisher better. Eventually others would sell it. No one thought XBW could last as long as it did. Both Justice and Sin seemed to have the best matches on the card when the faced against each other; being friends and planning days before hand rather than doing it on the fly that had become more common to VIW matches, they were set to face each other at VIW first Super-card – Barely Illegal 2003 and with the Sin Justice matches others upped their game to attempt at matching them.

BARELY ILLEGAL PASSION

BARELY ILLEGAL 2003 took place in the original VIW backyard of Hangman’s garden and was invite only like all other events at the gallows. Hangman as the booker/chairman/guy with the camera decided to go on with the super card and the date was set, 14th July 2003 and the choice mostly came down to the day Smudge got off work. The name that sounds pornographic in tone I’m sorry to tell you perverts had little to do with 17 and half year old sluts exposing them for the camera. It’s more about 17 and a half year old backyard wrestler doing what they usually did but pretending and trying to make it look and feel special (PS: I’m not talking about jerking off).

Smudge and Hangman together made up the name Barely Illegal in mock of the first ever Extreme Championship Wrestling Pay Per View of a similar name the event was advertised on the website and by the time the event happened the novelty of the name was gone. The name was also credit to the barely illegal steal of makeshift tables months before, they did it and got away with it just like OJ…well as in the murder thing with the wife and Jewish waiter not the robbery…and well Smudge and Hangman got away with the robbery of the boards of wood…oh never mind …where was I.

The VIW title now a WWF replica foam belt was vacant and the super-card was about a new champion being crowned in a mini 4 man tournament. VIW pulled their biggest crowd a bunch of friends and other backyard wrestlers made the event even more enjoyable with their chants etc and the 8 man crowd wave, all the wrestlers expected to show that day appeared apart from Roach. Hangman asked for the matches to be trimmed down for time, the cassette could only hold so much footage and matches in early VIW had the tendency to over-run into uneducated and boring action with no finish in sight, and this event would have 6 matches as opposed to the average VIW show of 3-4. However not everyone was happy about this request and thought their matches were being cut-short to overshadow them.

The first match was the semi-final in the tournament Hangman vs. Superhero1471 stipulation being it was a ladder match what was sort of out of the ordinary about Barely Illegal 2003 super card was all the matches had a gimmick. The action was basic and despite the stipulation had absolutely no ladder use apart from Hangman climbing it to win throwing down the rucksack commentator Theodore pretending the sack had a contract or something nonsensical that would allow Hangman to the finals, This match appeared as a warm up for both men and they save the best for their later performances this day.

From VIW.50megs.com- - May 2003 Ernie: Superhero what match would you like to see in VIW the most? Superhero471: Smudge vs. Cobra Ernie: Why? Superhero1471: To see which one sucks the most cock lol”

Next the other semi-final took place Smudge Versus Cobra, you may ask who the hell is Cobra? Well John was showing signs of multiple personality disorder as he had changed his gimmick yet again. At an event a few weeks prior Smudge blamed Johnberg for the title lose and wanted to face him in a retirement match. Smudge in a brawl managed to survive an on the spot moonsault attempt by Johnberg that turned into a twisting elbow drop skull-fuck- up-buster and spear him for the win thus retiring him from the backyard circuit. Why they got rid of Johnberg was little to do with a gimmick change at first, the fact that no-one wanted to face him due to his roughness and his matches were poor, I think VIW gang actually planned to retire him on camera and then fire him for real and not invite him back, but then had a change of heart. Smudge didn’t want to face Johnberg again or whatever persona he was adopting and this was agreed by Hangman but the day came things got confused probably due to Barely Illegal originally being and 8- man tournament but got knocked back to 4 so Smudge ended up facing Cobra anyway. Cobra dressed the same as Johnberg although now he donned black face paint and carried a plastic bat there was no storyline explaining anything as Hangman was not interested or liked the idea of storylines at the time, the other members who did like the saga ideas lacked the consistency to follow through from start, middle and end most of the time. Was Cobra and Johnberg meant to be the same person and a bit of black paint and a different name was some type off comedic Baldrick-like cunning plan to get back into the organisation that worked. Or was Cobra meant to be completely separate from Johnberg much like Basement Jack and Mad Sid, Johnberg’s retirement lasted about as long as Terry Funks 3rd 4th and 57th. If anything Cobra was a dark gothic character similar to the protagonist from the movie Crow, but it never got a chance to develop due to his rare appearances. Now it looks like Johnberg put on some black face paint and sulked about to Nirvana-In bloom for one day.

Some like this “flaming table” match Hangman liked it cause of how rough it got. Sin did commentary and clearly didn’t like the contest or he just didn’t like John at the time for whatever reason so his commentary was mostly despondent and negative. “anyone want to go in and watch James bond… better than this” and later “This is like watching chicks with dicks” on Cobra’s Cross Body “300 pounds of flab driven right into your body!” The flaming table bump at the end was weak…why cause it wasn’t even a table Smudge writes “when arrived there was no plywood and no one was offering any help, for a makeshift table so I had to improvise I made it 10 minutes before the show it was sticks and a broken down cardboard box taped together”. In what is suspected as a lie a VIW member made up said Johnberg/Cobra claimed he got 2nd degree burns from the bump. Anyway Smudge was going to the finals he then delivered a stunner to ref and shouted: bitch: very loudly; this would be developed into Smudges catchphrase later…though no t-shirts were ever printed.

Basement Jack vs. Superhero1471 was entertaining to watch it was a hacksaw on a pole match that Jack surprisingly won with his trusted sock that probably wasn’t his. Interesting note was the match slot and stipulation wasn’t originally for either wrestler, a cancelled match was going to feature Theodore Schlong versus. A chav gimmicked comedy character called Notorious Ned in the hacksaw on a pole match. What would have been Theo’s first time on screen. Apparently the spot for their match was someone getting a board of wood put on them and a BMX rode over them, strictly a comedy outing it would have been. But nothing came of it as Notorious Ned had a real life fall out with Theo so the match was canned, as they probably would have had a real fight with each other and damper the spirit of the event. The Notorious Ned character was later played by someone else (Sin) at Wrestlecrap months later and in the end Theodore Schlong’s beautiful mug was never seen on VIW Vision.

Sin would then face Justice In a XBW exhibition match this was a good match for the time in early VIW it featured a large number of moves not seen in VIW before and well executed as well as a big gravel suplex a slam on concrete slaps also Justice missing a jumping Sinton bomb smashing his own back of a prone ladder the crowd let out a “oooooh!” feeling the hate criminals pain. Despite the camera picking up some communication and a bit of stalling and Hangman getting pissed off cause they crashed into bushes and plants after it was finished it can be fairly said that if Smudge vs. Hangman never happened this day this would have been the best match up to that point in VIW even though technically it was an XBW contest. But the next match was by far the worst,

The last performance before the main event was for the new Interregional championship, The belt itself thou was not new at all it was in-fact the old carpet that had been the original VIW title, Hangman had just stabled on a new name plate saying interregional championship VIW was very green in more ways than one and liked to recycle…either that or they were cheap, later probably being true. Mad Sid had been continuously pushing for more titles in VIW as there was only one he wanted a Tag team championship and some type of mid-card title such as an Intercontinental belt which seemed pointless to others as there was no tag teams or enough wrestlers in VIW to have different ranks such as main event, mid card and jobber one belt was plenty, but eventual Hangman probably to shut him up more than anything made up the nicely named Inter-Regional title. The stipulation was a roof match, originally going to be Roach vs. Mad Sid vs. Superhero1471 but as said earlier Roach was absent, maybe he was sick of VIW or he just didn’t like the idea of being thrown of a roof and chickened out. The match itself between just Mad Sid and Superhero1471 like the pearl harbour incident that was only slightly worst, would live in infamy. Superhero1471 and Mad Sid used weapons like, golf clubs and cricket bats on top of the roof the object of the match was to throw your opponent off the roof to win, It’s seemed it was going to be poor from the start as both had been warned not to do any slams on the roof by Hangman who didn’t know if the roof would hold the weight and to their credit they abided by these rules. Never the less no matter how uninspiring the 2 smacking each other with a plastic bat and a golf club on-top the roof was spectators at least knew they were going to get a payoff at the end just like most scaffolding matches in the pros. and from the beginning you heavily suspected where one of them would fall, It was rather obvious as there was a mat with a bunch of boxes covering cushions in a place below that hadn’t been their in the match prior. All in attendance I believe where expecting a sort of Rikishi Hell in the Cell Armageddon 2000 fall which is sort of a push and fall backyards landing on the boxes, but no, alas the VIW audience instead got the pencil dive. I’m laughing as I write of Mad Sid’s 8 inch fall of doom, for the climax of the match he froze, then instead of a jump he sort of slid of the roof rather and held on to the edge of roof for dear life… but he was so close to the ground approximately no more than a 12 inchs it was unintentionally comic Superhero stomped on Sid’s fingers and he fell landed on his feet looked back and fell onto the cushioned pile it was so bad the boos as I was in attendance I can still hear echo to this day, one member of the crowd shouting rip-off in disgust (he had paid good money …?wait what?) others groaned In disappointment then mocked it. Mad Sid would never live this down and one of the main reasons he changed his character but that’s a story for later.

(above) Pencil Dive – Barely Illegal 2003

Finally we came to the main event to end the day Smudge Versus Hangman for the vacant VIW title Hangman had changed his mind and decided to face Smudge again. This match at the time was the best match either had up to that point and afterwards for sometime considered best VIW match, If someone wondered about VIW or wanted to watch it was the match they were most commonly shown. Nervous before hand seeming like they had to prove something and have a better match that day than the rest of the card, they shook hands behind the camera then Marilyn Manson’s fight song hit and out came Smudge to a chorus of boos. This was going to be the most hardcore so far in VIW it’s stipulation was “4 boards of pain” a board with light bulbs, another with thumb tacks, one with rusty barbed wire and finally a board which had nothing on it…as it was to be lit for fire later.

Theodore: Light bulbs, Thumb tacks, Fire Fans” WHERE? Theodore: umm…and barbed wire

Mad Sid played the non character role of the referee for this 20 minute match and may have been the worst official ever, for the match he upset Hangman to no end during the match to the point it came visible on camera as he failed to remove the drawing pins of the mat after Smudge had been drop slammed onto them, subsequently Hangman would later land on them unplanned, Hangman quite clearly called him a retard during the match along with some fans. Smudges mistake in the match was knocking out the mad referee to the cheers of many but then grapping his hand for the 3 count smacking it of the ground. However the match continued even after the 3 count, as it was not official although the announcer didn’t acknowledge this and the fans just accepted the match was continuing. After cutting Hangman open with a Stanley knife Smudge knocked him down into the pile of boxes, which was used for the earlier roof match but the cushions, and mattress had been removed by this point he climbed the roof and jumped off anyway doing a kamikaze elbow drop to the shocking excitement of the crowd as Theodore Schlong yelled “Kamala Splash!” as Hangman moved out of the way at the last second sending Smudge crashing alone, Hangman then went back on the offence crucifix power-bombing his rival onto the now lit small board of fire and then claiming the win following his trademark lynch driver (a fireman’s-carry slam) onto a board of drawing pins everyone cheered as a bloody Hangman held up the VIW foam belt. The big spot-fest that featured very little wrestling was enjoyed by all. Sin said afterwards said “WOW! You can’t best that”. Others gave praise for the match it would actually be watched repeatable so much at Superhero1471’s house in the following weeks most VIW people got sick of the match by August. Sadly however probably due to envy, an afterthought of the event by some of the backyard wrestlers was that Hangman’s had chosen the mats as the general set up on the gravel instead of the usual grass area as some sort of insidious plot so Sin couldn’t jump of the roof consequently stealing the show so he himself could be the centre piece with the main event and bask in the limelight as the man holding the piece of foam belt… unlikely as this sounds some felt this way. (Above) Smudge leaps at Barely Illegal 2003 and falls a little further than Mad Sid