Note: This document is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.
1 THE NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO ENGINEERING SOCIETY Volume 27 Issue 2 | Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Behind Enemy Fab Weddings for The Future is 'H' Lines: The Math the Rest of Us Lounge
Page 11 Page 7 Page 15
Check us out @ http://iwarrior.uwaterloo.ca/ Super Mario SCUNT: "Lewd", "Obscene", ...
... "a little blurry", ...... "masochistic", ...
... "sticky", ...... "a bonding experience"
converted into a retro gamer’s heaven: chocolate pudding during the “Killer Q- This left Nano and Math to duke it out classic Nintendo on a huge screen. Super Tips” event, and the main feature of the for Scunt supremacy. These two teams, Mario Brothers 1 and 3 were the main night: a certain Scunt God *cough*Steve seeing this opportunity, capitalized and entertainment throughout the long night as Swanson*cough* donning a bikini outside fought a two-way battle for the rest of the Michael events ran around the clock and the three of POETS. night. Math focused on the off-campus sue-kam-ling teams competed for the right to run Scunt The teams competing were 2A headquarters visit, preparing a delicious 2a chemiical this fall. Chemical, 1B Nanotechnology and the meal for the Gods as per usual. Nano Highlights of the event include a superb usual Math team. At the beginning all three focused more on the acquisitions list and The termly SCavenger hUNT started game of Calvin ball, building sleds out of teams started strong with lots of enthusi- managed to impress the Gods. After a off with a bang on Friday night. This cardboard to go down the hill outside of asm. In particular, Artificial Inchemination long night, Nano ultimately emerged as Scunt, run by 2A Systems, aka Undesyded DWE, building snow sculptures of “gen- came out firing on all cylinders winning the winners. Congratulations to their class aka Guerilla Systems, had a low turnout erous proportions” (supposedly resem- the vast majority of events heading into and here’s to hoping they run an awesome with only three teams, but the consensus bling the Scunt Gods), the bottom floor of the early evening. Unfortunately, apathy Scavenger Hunt come fall term and that was that it was a blast. The theme this time RCH being turned into a large scale game overcame their team and most of them left this win helps bring their class together. around was Super Mario and POETS was of Pac-man, controversial application of before the halfway point. 2 Wednesday, February 1, 2006 What it Means to Be Canadian
Where Have All the Canucks Gone? The Newspaper of the University of Waterloo Engineering Society One need to look no further than our new of what it is to be Canadian, and perhaps federal leader’s home province to see the the inspiration to revive a great culture and Andrew dodds Editor-in-Chief effects. Alberta is the new culture of the philosophy of which we can all be proud. Andrew Dodds Editor-In-Chief West. With prosperity has come a change Whereas in the West actions are driven of heart. Now that Harper has gained by the pursuit of opportunity and looking As much as I love the Iron Warrior, power, Ralph Klein lost all reason to keep for the best possible outcome for a given Assistant Editor by now it’s the last thing on my mind. quiet and has announced that changes to situation, whether or not it should benefit [Vacant] The love is still there though, just hidden the provincial healthcare system will be anyone but the individual, the Maritimes briefly. A bit like how you can yell at your made, and they will proceed whether or approach things from the truly Canadian Photo Editor dog and lock him in his cage for the day not they violate the Canada Health Act. perspective. David Yip when he takes a dump right on the seat of The two-tier system we’ve all heard so Everything revolves around community your brand new Lay-Z-Boy recliner, but much about is as unCanadian as one can on the Atlantic coast. It is the interactions Layout Editor you still think that he’s the cutest little ball get. You could argue it from all points of with other people on a one to one basis Katherine Chiang of (currently faeces-matted) fur. I hide any view how wrong this is, but the heart of that defines the quality of life. Success is hint of responsibility for this publication the issue is embodying a system that is not measured by the amount in the bank Technical Editor for the moment because it’s everyone’s prejudiced, in this case not by race but by account or by the need for success. Instead, [Vacant] favourite time again, crunch time! As mid- cash-ism. it is measured directly by the health of the terms draw nigh (or have already taken On a smaller level, you can see the community overall. Day to day interac- Webmaster hold of you), I wish you good luck, and attitude present in the day to day goings tions as simple as a kindly ‘hello’ in pass- Cindy Bao advise you to blow off some steam with a on of the most Albertan locale of Fort ing or a conversation over a few drinks is healthy dose of EngSoc events. McMurray. Conservative MP Brian Jean the source of happiness in the region. Joy Advertising Manager Normally as an Editor in chief, you can’t even keep his Quizno’s Sub franchise is derived from paying our respects to our [Vacant] wait a while to say anything about the running on a daily and regular schedule. friends, our culture, and what got us here creation of the paper. Sometimes one will The only notice his employees give when in the first place. Distribution Manager come along who blows his load of gripes leaving is that they don’t show up for A prime example here is the fishing [Vacant] or stories in the first issue, preventing him their shift, when the minimum wage is industry in Newfoundland. It has declined from further revealing the scary world over double that of Ontario in the area. to heart wrenchingly low levels. Many Offstream Editor-in-Chief that is this tiny hole in the wall. While the They leave because somewhere down a fishers find themselves fighting hard to Gabriel Chan stories keep building up, I must pause to street or road someone has offered them survive off of an industry that once vir- say a heartfelt thanks to my writers. They a few pennies, nickels, or dimes more and tually assured one of financial security have kept the paper full, keeping me from immediately they pounce. Not an ounce of through any turmoil that should arise. Yet, Staff the shame of an 8-page issue, and this time remorse or feeling is shown in the actions despite this, they continue to fish, con- Carolyn Sutherland around kicking it up a notch to sixteen of these people. tinue to live life the way that they always LowRider pages, and more lean this time around to Perhaps more twisted still is the apathy have. Instead of jumping ship, they have Jaclyn Sharpe boot. I say a special thanks to my small but that runs rampant in the province. In such committed themselves to their path, and Devin Cass able editing team, as well as to all those a large country as Canada, it is easy to feel to working towards bringing back a sus- Michael Sue-Kam-Ling who have helped to keep me on track this lost, but never should one feel alienated tainable population and thus a sustainable Jeffrey Lipnicky morning as I find myself writing my way from their leaders and fellow countrymen. industry. As the hard times fall on one Chun Lam into an 8:30am class. As happy as I am The general feeling, especially among member of the community, so does the rest Francis Hope to be the editor for such a wonderfully youth, is that nothing they do can make a quickly jump in to lend a hand in whatever Andre Beltempo willing group of students this term, I find change, make a difference, and the desire way they can. Katherine Chiang myself more than a little disillusioned to to try is even smaller. With the B.C. lum- This is what it means to be Canadian. Patrick Brown be a part of another group. ber disputes, the Quebec separatist move- The border on a map can tell us that we Kiran Dhaliwal First of all, what does it mean to be a ment and hard times in the Maritimes, it is are not American. But it is our own values part of a group? A true group is more than rare for any Alberta issue to make the news that tell us that we are Canadian. I feel the the five people sitting next to you that you unless it’s Ralph opening his mouth to say greatest sense of pride in calling myself Contributors get lumped with when your arts professor more than he should. But just like the rest Canadian, even with the way things have Tyler Gale separates you diligently into little discus- of the country, Alberta has its concerns, so been. I felt an ecstatic joy as I cast my Kristi Herlein sion groups. In its simplest form, a group why aren’t we hearing them? ballot in the election, a seemingly small Gabriel Chan is composed of elements with similar As a matter of fact, why aren’t we hear- gesture but in no way insignificant consid- Yang Sui characteristics. The Conservative Party is ing any concerns at all? Not so long ago ering that margins of victory in this election a group, united under the desire to liberate in the decades more known for free love existed that were smaller than the popula- Canadians from Liberal tyranny (or so I Canadians of all stripes from all walks of tion of my high school, and even smaller hear), just as much as KISS was a group life participated in both big and small, be than that of my classes here in Waterloo. I united under the common flag of freak- it the Montreal Bed-In or a group of peo- know that any success I achieve will be not ing people out, getting their freak on, and ple as big as my staff. This was the way solely because of me, but because of the playing freaking good music (all members of things, that even when no results came, people around me, and the help that they achieving these results to a greatly varying any desire for change was charged with and my country have given me. Canada degree). They all fit into the group because emotion and passion and successful calls is a country populated by likely one of, if in one way or another they all share the to action. Canada in the new millennium not the most culturally diverse grouping same identity. has never been a more accessible place to of races, religions and creeds. Within this It is with a heavy heart that I say now bring about change, and yet when change great variety we are a culture that firmly that I feel like never before that being is the easiest it has ever been, action is believes that everyone deserves a fair and Canadian is feeling less like the group of nowhere to be seen. equal shot to succeed in life, whether you noble people that I think we are, and more How best could I describe the Canadian measure that in terms of the education we like a sea of lost sheep that can’t even identity today? It feels to me now that in have been afforded, the health we have seem to follow one another anymore. the absence of any desire to establish a set been so lucky to maintain, or the ability to Almost anywhere in the world you of beliefs that unites us, we have identi- be accepted and welcomed for our differ- go, the red and white Canadian flag is fied ourselves quite succinctly as ‘Not ences and not chastised for them. The Iron Warrior is a forum for thought provoking recognized, and unlike another recogniz- and informative articles published by the Engineering American’. What kind of unity can you While we have lost sight in recent Society. Views expressed in The Iron Warrior are able flag, the Maple leaf is a symbol of expect when you define yourselves not times of the noble tenets that have defined those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the hope, welcomed with open arms and smil- opinions of the Engineering Society. by what you are but by what you aren’t? us, there is still hope that we may regain The Iron Warrior encourages submissions from stu- ing faces. How sad that a child halfway To say that one is not the detractor says our identity in sea of confusion. It shines dents, faculty and members of the university com- around the world is more excited to be nothing of one’s ability to make a posi- through the darkness with every vote cast, munity. Submissions should reflect the concerns and intellectual standards of the university in general. The given a miniature paper flag than many tive change in the world, or even in just every voice heard, every person given aid author's name and phone number should be included. Canadians nowadays seem to be living one life. and every difference celebrated. I say it All submissions, unless otherwise stated, become under it. Being Canadian meant something the property of The Iron Warrior, which reserves the I do not know what it will take to trig- with pride that I am Canadian down to the right to refuse publication of material which it deems once, and while most would forget or push ger a radical change in our mood. Once the bone. I hope that it won’t be long before unsuitable. The Iron Warrior also reserves the right aside that ideology, the meaning is just as to edit grammar, spelling and text that do not meet change is there and the stone is moved, we this chorus swells into a roar of pride as we university standards. Authors will be notified of any important as ever. will no sooner find that the tomb is empty all shout out with full conviction, knowing major changes that may be required. We have been divided now to our own and our identity has risen again. I believe what it means to say I AM CANADIAN! Mail should be addressed to The Iron Warrior, Engineering Society, CPH 1327, University of ideals, looking to serve our own needs. that in the East we can find the example Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G1. Our phone number is (519) 888-4567 x2693. Our fax number is (519) 725-4872. E-mail can be sent to [email protected] Wednesday, February 1, 2006 3 Stay on the Scene Like a Lovin’ Machine CECS Important Dates girlfriend for many moons. We’re talk- Dear Cutlass, ing about 7 years. I love her so much and February 2 she loves me. We’re in love. I’m sure Successfully Negotiating Job Offers It sound to me like that short little fat that we’re get hitched someday. We’re 3:30-4:30 TC 1208 shit with wings and a bow and arrow hit both pursuing higher level degrees and you where it counts. Get a grip man. Put going to be very successful professionals LowRider on your game face. Ever consider writing so our discussion regarding the future is February 6 3B Systems poetry? Hopeless. very limited. She knows it. I know it. It Are You Thinking About Graduate is just understood. I’m starting to ramble Studies? Dear LowRider, _LR_ because this deeply concerns me. I need 2:30-3:30 TC 2218 more from what we have going on. I’m not Mastering the Personal Statement I just found this gem of a bar. It’s a Dear _LR_, one to publish the details of my intimate 3:30-4:30 TC 2218 sketchy little place on King Street that does life but since you are legit I’ll discuss. We Funk night every Friday. Sure they charge I just got back from Bomber. As usual are not doing it (you know what I mean). ridiculous amounts for beverages and all it was not even closed to packed and the I’ve tried everything but nothing gets the February 7 the bouncers are only 4 feet tall. But the lineup went all the way to Columbia Lake. point across. Is there anything you can do Interview Skills: Preparing for beats man. Mad beats. They really know I noticed a couple of scantily clad females to loosen her up for me? You are the man Questions how to throw down the funky monkey that were super hairy (I just puked at the with the red BANDANA. 3:30-4:30 TC 1208 freak beats. You just get out on the floor thought). If I would have known better, I’d and let the rhythm rock your bones man. I say they were actually somewhere on the Get back to me ASAP, February 8 line that separates sexes. That line these really know how to cut-a-rug as my grand- Interview Skills: Selling Your Skills pa says. Here’s the problem though. The days it quite wide. You never know. You Anonymous mini-me bouncers don’t appreciate it when always have the down low on these activi- 3:30-5:30 TC 2218 you bolt into the ladies rest room and start ties. What the fuck was that all about? Dear Future Professional, peeing in the sink. Why? It’s beyond me. The BANDANA says: February 9 Where I come from breaking the seal in the Sincerely, Work Search Strategies lady’s room is considered a complement to She’s tired of that same old shaggy 3:30-5:00 TC 1208 the chef. Do you enjoy getting your funk Concerned dress. Try a little tenderness. You gotta try on Mr. Rider? a little tenderness. Squeeze her, don’t tease Dear Keeper of the Faith, her, never leave her, please her. Try a little February 13 Regards, tenderness. Make her feel nice. Like sugar Career Decision Making Excellent observation. Did you hap- and spice. So nice. 3:30-5:30 TC 1208 Funky Monkey pen to notice that those two dudes picked up more ladies than every other guy com- You’re welcome. February 14 Dear Starlight-Starbright, bined? What you witnessed was the tail Successfully Negotiating Job Offers end of rush week at 36. It’s surpris- _LR_ 3:30-4:30 TC 1208 This cat knows his funk. Gotta love the ing what a little bit of makeup can do. sketchiness on King. I did notice that the Congratulations gentlemen, you’re in. ‘till next time keep it low kids. bouncers tend to be a bit underdeveloped. February 15 I frequent the ladies powder room. So _LR_ Business Etiquette and much cleaner than the men’s room. Good Have a problem? Need advice? Professionalism call. Just make sure you break some stuff Dear LowRider, Email LowRider at 4:30-5:30 TC 1208 on your way out. Get your money’s worth [email protected] in drywall. I write this letter from the bottom of February 16 my heart. I have been dating my lovely Interview Skills: Selling Your Skills _LR_ 3:30-5:30 TC 1208 Dear Lowered Rider, February 27 I met this girl when we were both a Writing CVs and Cover Letters little bit under the influence. She was just 12:00-1:30 TC 2218 standing there, staring at me across the room. I’ve been staying up every night on February 28 the phone and talking about shitty sitcoms until 5 in the morning. MSN is like my Special Session for International best buddy now. She’s coming to spend the Students day with me. So I spent 6 hours cleaning 4:30-6:00 TC 2218 my hole of a house and have mentally pre- pared myself for our next visit for weeks. I think she’s really feeling me. I think I’m falling into love. What do I do now?
Thanks for your help. You’re an out- standing human being. The five dollar native Riding low...even in Rome. 4 Wednesday, February 1, 2006 See Bus. Push, Bus Push! Engsoc for the Uninitiated or stop by our information booth, which Patrick Brown Engsoc. will be set up outside POETS every 4B Mechanical Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed this Tuesday during the hours of 11:30pm to time, and we could clear the issue without 1:30pm from now until the event. or those of you who have never heard of major repercussions. However, this raises Michael Usually the goal of the event is to FEngsoc, or who don’t really know what the question: What’s going to happen in five sue-kam-ling bring in five thousand dollars for the it is. years? Is this going to happen all over again 2a chemiical charity in question but this year we’re Engsoc stands for Engineering Society, when we’re gone and no one is here to know aiming a bit higher. To date there hasn’t and it’s there to take care of any issues that about our mistakes? The events in our world us Push has become a staple in the been a set goal for the amount we wish come up with respect to engineering students. have shown that those who do not know his- Btraditions of Waterloo engineering to raise, but we have been brainstorm- Unfortunately, it can also generate some tory are doomed to repeat it. students and their society. Every winter ing ideas to promote more fundraising issues. For those of you who know me, you I have the utmost respect for the Engsoc term in the past 29 years, we engineers than usual. For instance, there are prizes know that I’ve been here a long time (too institution, and its members in general. I have moved a bus from campus to down- available through the Heart and Stroke long, in my mind). That gives me a some- just hope that since these events where better town Kitchener, raising money for chari- Foundation for individuals who raise over what unique perspective on the goings-on in handled overall this time, that the next time ties such as Big Brothers and Big Sisters. a certain amount. We will also most likely Engsoc. they may come up, they don’t come up at all. We have even seen the event evolve from be offering prizes for the top fundraising Engsoc has done (and still does) some I would like to think that people are becom- pushing a bus, to using a giant rope to individuals. In addition to prizes, we are really great things. It represents us to the fac- ing more open and understanding of others. pull it. This year marks a special year in currently working on getting professors, ulty, administration, and to the outside world ence to more recent times by discussing the history of the event because it marks and possibly even Dean Sedra, to come in some cases. Its members help organize genocides that have occurred only within the its 30th anniversary. out on the morning of the event and help and run a great number of events that many last ten years, specifically in Rwanda. Caplan I am one of five directors for the event pull the bus if a certain monetary goal has people have made use of over the years. For described the ethnic cleansing of the Tutsis as this term and we are very excited! This been reached. anyone who grew up in the K-W area, you “the most easily preventable genocide imagi- term we will be raising money for the So pick up a pledge form and start may recall having gone to the Canada Day nable” and criticized the U.S. government Heart and Stroke Foundation since they collecting money, because if raising celebrations in the summer, or having come and the United Nations for not only being were extremely cooperative and helpful money for charity isn’t incentive enough, to “Explorations”, an event held each March bystanders, but also preventing the public during last year’s event. The event will surely prizes and watching your favour- Break for elementary school kids. Those from knowing about the horrific calamities take place the morning of Saturday March ite professors or the dean himself pull a outside of the region may have come for in Rwanda. His sensitivity about this topic 4th and pledge forms are now available so giant bus can help motivate you. Kate, Shadow Day or Campus Day. And I will was evident as the audience embraced his start collecting pledges! To pick up a form Adrienne, Radhika, Ruth-Anne and I look guarantee that most of you did Frosh Week. passion on the sufferings of the people in that simply contact one of the directors (our forward to seeing you all on the morning All the events during the term are run at least region. Caplan then transported the audience emails are listed on the Eng Soc website) of March 4th. in part by Engsoc members. POETS is run to the present day by examining the current by Engsoc, course critiques are co-run by circumstances surrounding Sudan and the Engsoc as well. It has run charity events, fun horrific slaughters that are transpiring in events, even somewhat goofy events (who Darfur. Interestingly, what all these genocides When in Rome... can forget that Rocks-Paper Scissors tourna- have in common, unlike the Holocaust, is that ment). the world had become blind and deaf to the Michele Heng Michele Heng and Chris Blake of VOIPS The problem is, some people can occa- victims’ cries. 4B Systems received training on the D740 development sionally leave their brains at home some days. Both speakers made a final appeal to the kit in the Atmel Roma office and were given Many of you may have read the articles on audience, particularly to those whose fami- ast March, Atmel Corporation, an a complete development kit free of charge the front page of the last issue of the Iron lies have suffered from genocide, to not stay Lindustry leader in the design and to realize their project. The two Canadian Warrior. They were in response to an event silent, to speak out particularly in the coming manufacture of advanced semiconductors, teams are also competing against students at the first Engsoc meeting this term. Some election, and to fight against such injustices. launched, along with the Diopsis 740 plat- from Israel, Hungary, Italy, Colombia, and people said and did some rather stupid things. There was a short break after which the form, the DSP Design Contest 2005. The India. The competition is stiff among the I will not go into them, but I will say that this speakers and Mr. Aris Babikian answered D740 platform combines into one chip an top ranked teams as three have tied for first isn’t the first time. It also probably won’t be several questions from the audience. Mr. ARM microcontroller and a floating point place and another two teams have tied for the last. Aris Babikian is a member of the Armenian digital signal processor. Open to under- fifth. However, it’s really anybody’s game. As I said before, I’ve been here a while. National Committee, and he is at the centre graduate and graduate students, the contest A final report due at the end of March 2006 So I know that that meeting’s events are a of many organizational efforts which lobby gives the opportunity for the best minds in will determine first, second and third place repetition of something that happened before the Canadian government and the Canadian the world to turn their ideal applications winners of the contest who shall be rewarded almost any of you got here. Back then, public opinion on issues such as the Genocide into reality. with estimable cash prizes and intellectual somebody said something stupid and offen- in Darfur, and of the Armenians. To enter the competition, teams were property rights. sive. Another person reacted in a less than The Armenian Students’ Association is a required to submit a 3-page preliminary pro- In recognition of the support that the UW accepting manner. A third group of people Waterloo Federation of Students Club, and an posal of their ideal application. Selected teams have received in order to fully par- overreacted to the second person, creating organization that promotes Genocide aware- from an original field of 80, the top 25 ticipate in the contest, thanks goes out to the a situation that resulted in that third group ness and the ending of Human rights viola- teams had until the end of the summer to Systems Design Department, the Faculty of being asked to disassociate themselves from tions in the world. submit a detailed application note of their Engineering, the supervisors of the projects project, consisting of in-depth documenta- – Professor Birkett and Professor Gebotys tion of design and implementation as well as – and the Sandford Fleming Foundation. As testing and verification methodologies. The you may not know, a portion of an under- Music Worth Your Damn 12 most original and pertinent projects were graduate engineering student’s incidental fees Jason gupta more like filler than anything. On the other admitted into the next round of the contest. goes toward an SFF fund. The money is 2b Commerce hand, there are beats that make you nod your The reward: three days training in Rome! directed back into the student body through head without even realizing it (ie. ‘Benzie Three independent University of Waterloo awards for SFF debates and technical speaker n 2004, a producer by the name of Box’), and beats that just surprise you because teams submitted complete application notes, competitions, and travel awards for team IDangermouse gained mass recognition they’re so melodic (ie. ‘Crosshairs’). and out of the original 80 teams that entered competitions such as this one. Application when he released a remix of Jay Z’s Dangerdoom are joined by a couple of the contest, the three teams – West SYDE procedures for SFF Travel Awards, valued up ‘Black Album’, sampling The Beatles’ guests; Ghostface joins in on one of the bet- Warriors, ConcertPitch and VOIPS – ranked to $1000, can be found at www.eng.uwater- ‘White Album’. The Grey album was boot- ter tracks on the album, ‘The Mask’. The 18th, 8th, and 5th, respectively. Matt Millard loo.ca/~sff/. legged heavily on the internet and soon soulful voice of Cee-lo joins Doom and of ConcertPitch along with George Minett, Dangermouse became an indie hip-hop Dangermouse on ‘Benzie Box’ and Talib favourite. In 2005 he collaborated with Kweli’s rapid fire rhymes begin the song ‘Old another underground favourite, MF Doom School’. I give it 4/5 stars. and released this album, Danger Doom. Other albums to check out are; Madvillain The album is influenced and based upon which is a collaboration between Madlib characters and shows from the Cartoon and MF Doom. The new Ghostface album, Network’s ‘Adult Swim’ cartoons. The char- which drops on March 7th, features Doom acters from shows such as Harvey Birdman, on half the tracks and Demon Days by The Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Space Ghost Gorillaz, which is executive produced by make appearances in skits between the songs. Dangermouse. Though these skits do get annoying after repeated listens, they do get a chuckle on first listen (especially Master Shake’s phone messages). MF Doom is instantly recognized with his monotone voice and off-kilter rhymes. Dangermouse’s production is well suited to an album based on cartoons, but a few of them do fall flat (ie. ‘A.T.H.F.’), and seem Wednesday, February 1, 2006 5 Point vs. Counterpoint Marxist-Leninist or Communist?
bling’ in general. Instead people will share feeling, perhaps by dispensing fuzzy bun- everything equally, such as communal nies. And then those bunnies can savagely beds, drugs, and entertainment. This will destroy all opposition to the new order, ala entice the country into having a greater Holy Grail. Secondly, animate the arms in sense of camaraderie and communal liv- a more fluent, less jerky motion. But it is Francis Hope ing with each other. To facilitate this we Francis Hope critical that the robot is still able to karate 4B Electrical will have smoking circles, tree planting 4B Electrical chop like Chuck Norris. matrices and rallies of the amorphous The communist party is the only party omrades, it saddens me to say that blob subtype. The manufacturing will shift omrades, this is an outrage; the for the Canadian people because it is the Cthe Conservatives won the election, to drugs (for pharmaceutical use, among CConservatives have won the election only party that truly represents the ideals while the party that truly represents the other things..) and agriculture. Once this is and created a government that does not that will best serve the people; the commu- people did not. What is this party? Is it the done we will bring all the people together fulfill the needs of the people and never nist ideals. Sure the Marxist-Leninist Party Liberals, NDP or Bloc Québécois? No, it and expand everyone’s minds with the will. This government needs a strong party may represent the communist party but is the Marxist-Leninist Party! The Liberals possibility of a bright new future. that will remove all political opposition, they are too weak and useless. We are the are as corrupt as Enron, the Conservatives The Communist Party of Canada may destroy all corruption, pacify the general party that has the will to crush the sheep have such right-wing politics that it’s make the same claims about adopting the populous and crush the people under our into submission. When we assume power amazing their plane isn’t spiralling to a communist ideals but they are nothing firm boot. And of course by that I mean we will create gulags in the deep tundra of flaming (very non-homosexual of course) more than corrupt bureaucrats that do not make everyone happy. All other parties Bowmanville and will send to work there death, the Bloc speaks with a funny accent, represent the true will of the people. They are weak and will be crushed, ground any people that pose a threat in the form of and the Green party is the party of the are merely using Communism as a figure- into the dirt like this cockroach under my insurrection, until they are broken under planet, not its people. We of the Marxist- head to their own ends. boot. The Marxist-Leninist Party is weak our iron will. The difference between our Leninist Party represent the true commu- So I say once again my fellow com- and will be brought under the control our party and the Marxist-Leninist Party is nist ideal of the people in the traditional rades, let’s liberate our selves from these firm hand. The Liberals are corrupt and that we will break any political opposition Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels ideology, corrupt and self-serving governments and will be toppled, and the NDP are mere with hard labour creating useless devices. dictated in the Communist Manifesto, not form a Marxist-Leninist republic for the pushovers. The Bloc Québécois knows The devices that will be manufactured and the big C Communism of the Communist people! how to instil fear in the populous, force exported will be devices that are sub par Party of Canada. This is not the butchered them into submission and is fanatical, and demeaning to the people. This will interpretation of traditional communism but they are French so anyone outside keep the general populous under our heel. ideals such as China or Communist Russia. Quebec is not scared of them. Hey, when These will include: Tom Jones CD’s, elec- We must help the working people rise up Do You Have was the last time you were intimidated by trical nose clippers, paper clips, Mini-vans, and topple the corrupt government, whose a French person? The Conservatives may and the trinkets that are found in McDonald misdeeds and ineptitude have become so have won but their figurehead is nothing happy meals. With a general state of ennui blatant and clean in the past few years. We Something to but a mechanical robot. Let’s face I,t we throughout the populous, never again will must not let the old corrupt government can make a better robotic marionette, cer- anything happen, of any kind, and all will simply be replaced by another government tainly one with more believable facial fea- be well in the state of Canada. that will probably become just as corrupt Contribute? tures. We have been doing it for years. Our So I say once again my fellow comrades and will only serve the Bourgeoisie. We head robotic engineer says, “We can make let us join together to liberate Canada from must rise up and replace it with a new gov- a better robot than the one called Harper this government and form a Communist ernment that serves the proletarian people Drop off your poetry, cartoons, 1.0. A robot that will crush the people state that will put people in their place. and not just the elite. drawings, photos and anything else into submission, eat babies and potentially The principal of communism is for artistic in the “Arts” box make some sort of fruity cocktail concoc- everyone to be equal and the abolition of in the Orifice, or email them to tion.” First when you design a robot and Editor’s Note: all private property that has lead to mate- [email protected] you want to make it show emotion make rialism. Instead of people gaining posses- it so that both the top parts and bottom The views and opinions expressed sions through capitalism, people would be Submissions may be published parts of the face smile at the same time. here do not necessarily reflect those given possessions according to their needs. here in The Iron Warrior, and It disturbs observers when the lower face of the authors, the Iron Warrior, or the This means getting rid of any immaterial earn you valuable P**5 points smiles but the eyes stare forward blankly. Engineering Society. distractions such as television, mansions, for your class! The eyes should not look forward blankly, expensive cars, and all forms of ‘bling rather they should convey a warm fuzzy
Sandford Fleming Foundation E2 3336, ext 4008, sff@engmail www.eng.uwaterloo.ca/~sff
The John Fisher Award for Leadership
The John Fisher Award for Leadership is made to a graduating student who has shown outstanding leadership throughout the student’s academic career in activities that relate to Engineering Education. These leadership contributions can be associated with the Engineering Society, the Departments, the Faculty, the Sandford Fleming Foundation, and with other activities with a professional orientation. Nominations for the John Fisher Award can originate from student groups, faculty members and others. Nominations should document the nominee’s outstanding leadership and other contributions. The award consists of a certificate, a citation and an honorarium of $1,000. All nominations must be submitted to the Secretary of the Foundation by April 1.
Engineering Debates: Will be held March 7 (12:00 – 1:30) and March 8, and 9 from 11:30 a.m.-1:00 p.m. in E2 room 3324. The finals will be held outside POETS at noon on March 10. Please plan on participating or attending. Refreshments will be served at the finals. Student Travel Grants: Available to students participating in technical conferences. Please check our web page for further details. Emergency Loan Funds: SFF has funds available for short-term emergency loans, interest free for 90 days. These loans are available to engineering undergraduates, on either an academic or work term. Contact the Student Awards office for further information.
An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education.
6 Wednesday, February 1, 2006 Evaluating Engsoc’s How Many Days Til IRS? Patrick Brown Now that that has been taken care 4B Mechanical of… Evolution IRS. This is the Iron Ring Stag. interpreted as sexist discrimination. However hhh. Fourth year. 4B, when a Traditionally the party right after IRC, many of the calls were the familiar “You’re hot” Ayoung engineer’s fancies turn to but has now come to mean the WHOLE calls of encouragement yelled out by friends in thoughts of…a lifetime of work?? DAY. You are expected to wake up the audience. This could be taken the wrong Hey! Who cares?! We’re getting out around 6:00 a.m. to begin your cel- way, as implying that those presenters are only of here. That’s reason enough to cel- ebrations. A popular event is the class Nicki Cognito valued for they’re bodies. I however, choose to ebrate. One other reason to celebrate is breakfast. Join all your classmates for a 5N give the callers the benefit of the doubt, as the this weird event coming up called IRS. catered breakfast, or just bring your own presenters generally seemed to be taking the What is IRS, you ask? Well I’m glad food and drinks and cater yourselves. lthough there has been a lot of contro- calls as compliments or ignoring them. you did. That’s for you guys to decide. There Aversy over the conduct of members at the Unfortunately after the January 11th meeting For those fourth years that don’t will be a Gradcomm Slave Auction held University of Waterloo Engineering Society the Engineering Society became rather sensitive know (and there are some, so admit it) as so you can buy younger students to be meetings as of late, it can clearly be seen that and toned down the next meeting. The meeting well as anybody else who wants to (like your servants for the day. Reward them the past meeting was only slightly worse than quality fell more than 700% to a mere 200% you dum frosh), IRS is a daylong party. well (it’s only fair since fourth years previous meetings have been. So why all the for the January 25th meeting. Although the I mean this in the 24-hour long sense. It rewarded me when I was their slave). controversy? Let’s take a look at some trends business aspect of the meeting was the same, it is the day where we Waterloo engineers There are also the class tours. Each shown by this graph. wasn’t as entertaining as previous meetings and celebrate getting our Iron Rings. It is fourth year class takes it upon them- Tasteful nudity has been declining, being a little disappointing for those people who were also the day where we release at least selves to tour each of the classes being replaced by untasteful nudity during the January looking forward to a good show (any publicity some of the steam (if not all) that’s been taught to their under-year counterparts. 11th meeting. Of course it should be offensive, is good publicity). There were still some good building up since the first day we came Each class knows which prof tends to be everyone would agree that it is offensive, but is burns called out from the audience, but everyone to campus all those many years ago. the highlight of the tour, so try to make anyone offended by it? Realistically, it’s noth- seemed a little reluctant to approach the line, let I’ll start with the more serious stuff. it to those classes if they’re on that day. ing the guys haven’t seen on the internet, and alone carry out the walking thereof. IRC. This stands for Iron Ring You are required by law to wear a cos- the girls haven’t seen in the mirror. In any case I agree that discrimination has absolutely Ceremony. This is the event where we tume during this event, no matter how I’m sure the woman was paid quite well for her no place in engineering at waterloo. But the receive our iron rings. Depending on stupid. EWB happens to be running a efforts and would not be shocked that people are percentage of female members in the engineer- your program, you will receive it at any fashion show and auction for the more *gasp* looking at a photograph of her. ing society (a full 40% of the A-soc exec is time between 4:30 and 7:30. Treasure spectacularly bad dresses for those who There was also the matter of one person female, by head count not volume) shows that, this event. If you have a friend or rela- are interested – check posters around pretending to grope a female presenter. This is as of yet, the meetings have not been driving the tive that you respect, you can request engineering for more details. indeed shocking and rather crude. However it women away. It can be said that engineers are a that they be the one to ring you, but only One note of caution: Do not go is between those two people only. If the woman special kind of people. We have our own sense if they are ringed, and have been for at overboard on the celebrations before had found it personally offensive she could of humour quite apart from the rest of humanity least four years IRC. They have been known to kick easily have slapped him or called upon several (some people don’t think hanging a car off a Iron Ring. The iron ring is given people out for being too rowdy during members of the large male population in attend- bridge is funny). The EngSoc meetings, being to graduates of Canadian engineering the event – BEFORE they could get ance to come to her aid. I suspect that the perpe- run by engineers, reflect this unique sense of institutions only. You will be part of their rings. Feel free to go overboard trator will be seeing the majority of the negative humour. From my point of view, if you can’t at a select group. No other engineer can afterwards at IRS. Location and time consequences as he has made himself look like least learn to overlook these antics you may find receive an iron ring. It symbolises iron details are available in CPH foyer. Get a creep in front of quite a few of the women yourself having a long lonely career in engineer- taken from the Quebec bridge, which your tickets now. in engineering. This is also a clear example of ing *pause for effect* at Waterloo and beyond. collapsed twice during construction. It Oh yeah. One other thing. You will sexist discrimination as a male presenter was If you are still having trouble getting past the was considered a major engineering feat be requested and required to remove actually groped (and partially undressed) while crude jokes, just remember this: If someone is when it was completed in 1917, but was ALL clothing that is not black during giving his presentation. making jokes/comments that you find offensive, anything but during its construction. IRS that night. So please for the sake Another potentially offensive activity taking then they’re an [insert appropriately colourful The iron ring is to remind us of our of the children, wear black to hide the place at the January 11th meeting was catcalling language] and you, therefore, don’t give a [insert duties as engineers. things that should not be shown!! to presenters. The vast majority of presenters appropriately colourful language] about their receiving catcalls were female, and it could be opinion of anything. Wednesday, February 1, 2006 7 Charobeem Cooks: Pita Pizzas! Infiltrating the Math Lounge recipe uses the flat pita with no pock- and adorned myself with hello kitty et, but I suppose you could just stuff apparel. your ingredients inside a pita pocket if I have also started to collect you wanted to... these things called “Magic Cards”. carolyn Apparently in the math society the sutherland Pita Pizzas Francis Hope physical appeal of the male is directly 2a Mechanical Ideally serves one person per pita. 4B Electrical proportional to the quality and quan- tity of such cards, quite strange. To he pita is a tasty bread used in tra- Ingredients: s a seasoned journalist you come facilitate this I have collected these T ditional Mediterranean, Arab and bag-o-pitas (no air pocket) A to realize that there are some- cards to assert my dominance in the north African cuisine such as gyros, tomato sauce times stories that need to be told. social hierarchy. These cards also tell falafels and kebabs, but they are shredded cheese Some stories and experiences can what type of colour or element you believed to have originated in Ancient toppings change a man and some places and are. Black (death and decay), red Syria. The pita dough is baked at high secrets are so dark that many dare (fire), blue (mysticism), white (life) temperatures so that the inside puffs 1. Arrange pitas on large baking not speak of them at all. Such things and green (nature). I will be represent- up, leaving an air pocket inside the sheet. Cover each with a layer of include the work term report marking ing black (death) and red (fire) cards loaf when it is removed from the oven. tomato sauce. section, the 1st year cafeteria and the because it will scare people away The cooled pita can then be sliced in 2. Cover pita with cheese since ominous math lounge: a location that from asking questions; at least more two and filled with food as the Pita you can’t really consider it a pizza even most math students dare not go. I so than usual. Pit and rival Pita Factory have capital- without it, then add the toppings. Use will observe and study the indigenous Jan 23 ized on. bacon, broccoli, feta cheese, pepper- life that lives there to bring you the From first impressions their society When the pita arrived in North oni, olives, mushrooms, red peppers, story that needs to be told. seems to be a hunter-gatherer society. America, two new types emerged from pineapple, etc. Jan. 16 The math females hunt for food and manufacturers; the pita and the pita 3. Bake in oven at 450°F (230°C) Over this week I have prepared to take down the local game (any geek pocket. The pita pocket uses the tradi- for 10-12 minutes or until crust is integrate myself with these mysteri- with money) from the math C&D or tional recipe with the air pocket inside, golden. ous and strange people. I will observe the labs located in the far reaches of while the pita is simply a flat circular the specimens in their natural habitat the building from there, 25 feet down piece of bread with no air pocket. This Pita + Pizza = CrAzY DeLiCiOuS! before I attempt to integrate into their the hall. The males are the gatherers social collective through mimicking in this society. They gather ‘Magic their grooming techniques and social Cards,’ role-playing books and digital PC2PC: The Evolution of structure. To assimilate properly I Pokemons to impress any potential will have to study their doctrine and mates, which are few and far between. clothing before I attempt to integrate The math male scavenges for food in the PC with them. I have started to read up between the cushions of the sofas. 2) Now, it is time for every engi- on many of the holy texts that the The foods they gather and con- neers best friend: Duct Tape. This religious sect of the math lounge read. sume consist of a hardy diet of melted step is open for you to use your crea- This includes the religious text of chocolate bars, candy, stale pizza, tive abilities. You need to make some Dungeons and Dragons, Vampire: The squashed burritos and lint. I am not Jeffrey way of carrying the tower around. I Masquerade and Rifts. Many of their sure how I will live off of this diet but Lipnicky personally prefer a backpack style, religious texts tell stories of monsters, after surviving on Cafeteria food from 2a Mechanical but if you prefer to carry it around like small bearded people with large axes, Village One in first year I am sure that a purse, that is up to you. people dressed in gowns with large I can digest just about anything. eing engineering students, we are 3)What good is a computer without pointy hats, and beings from other After today I will document the B all aware of the constant evolution the electricity to power it? There are dimensions. On preliminary observa- trials and tribulations that I face while of the technology that is ever present two options here. First, you can cre- tion the clothing apparel seems to be trying to integrate, assimilate, mate in our lives. Things are becoming ate some sort of generator to produce a combination of plastic armour and with, and eventually conquer these smaller and as a consequence, more the power. I am partial to one that is swords, capes, torn jeans, ripped t- people. If I survive this they will versatile and portable. It is time that good for the environment, such as bio- shits, long unkempt or spiky blue hair write sagas of my tale for years to your personal computer did the same. diesel. But, if you don’t know how and excessive black make-up. come, or play a Werewolf role-play- I know, I know; there are many to make a generator (like me), there Jan. 19 ing campaign roughly based on my small and portable devices that are is still a way to get your PC up and This week I plan to adopt a guise experiences: probably replacing me comparable to the personal computer, running. All you need is an extension to integrate with denizens of the math with some sort of Mage, with Vampire but do they really have all the power cord. I recommend going to Crappy lounge. lesbians or something. that you need? Can you really play Tire and finding the longest one on the I have stopped shaving and bathing games on your Pocket PC? Do you get shelf. A bright coloured one will help the full experience when surfing the to keep people from tripping over it, net on our cell phone or BlackBerry? and if you get one on a reel, it will be Chances are, many of you will say easier to wind up on the way home. “No” to these questions. 4)The interface of the computer I would like to unveil the improved needs to be arranged in a very sys- P.C.
Free Money! (Well, sort of...) accept late proposals beyond that time. Expanding Your Horizons • Proposal presentations are set for to be involved with a variety of workshops, March 7th and 9th, 4:30 - 7 pm in RCH 302, discussions, and activities. Moreover, the del- and the Funding Council will reconvene on egates will hear from various speakers regard- Katherine March 14th, 4:30 pm in RCH 302 to decide ing diverse engineering topics and will have Chiang on funding for Winter 2006. the opportunity to interact with a discussion WEEF Director • The WEEF bylaw was updated in Jason jagodich panel composed of professional engineers. Spring 2005, therefore as of Spring 2005, vp external I’m sure a good time will be had by all. ey everyone! Hope everyone is hav- all new approved proposals have an expiry The University of Toronto is present- Hing a good term so far. Refunds are date of 2 years from the term of applica- hat’s up Waterloo!!??!! Well, the ing the National Business Technology all done, and I have a couple of updates to tion, unless arrangements are made with the Wexcitement continues on campus with Conference from March 3rd-5th. This con- share with you all: WEEF Director. All old proposals prior to events such as IRS approaching and the ference incorporates themes of management, Spring 2005 have been given 2 years as of infamous Scavenger Hunt! If you didn’t sign innovation and technology and acts as a Proposals: May 1st, 2005. up your team, you better get on that for next forum for young engineering undergrads to • Proposal submission opened on term. Also, MOT and our second set of races network with representatives from reputable January 27th. What’s different this term is WEEF Reps: If you are the WEEF rep of are just around the corner. Just a reminder, firms from across the country. Seminars, that there will be an online system for pro- your class, please email me ASAP, regardless MOT is on February 10th and I for one, can’t workshops, panel discussions, a recruiter’s posal submissions. Those who wish to submit of whether the WEEF reps have changed wait. fair, and team challenges will all be offered. a proposal can visit the WEEF website, www. since the Spring term. Even if you are not Tomorrow I’m off to the First Year The goal of this conference is to link the weef.uwaterloo.ca/proposals.html, for more the WEEF rep, please ask your WEEF rep Integration Conference with some of fields of business studies and engineering. If detailed instructions. The proposals should be to email me. Waterloo’s finest freshman. They will have the it sounds like this conference is for you, drop in by Feb. 20th, but since that’s the Monday opportunity to see the renowned high school me a line @ asoc_vpext@engmail. before IRS and reading week, the absolute If you have any questions regarding pro- in Kingston formerly known as Queen’s That’s all for now, deadline will be extended to 4:30 pm on Feb. posals, or any other areas of WEEF, please University. This conference is run through Git’R’Done, 27th. Please take note that WEEF will not don’t hesitate to contact me: weef@engmail. ESSCO and offers delegates the opportunity Gunnerz Wednesday, February 1, 2006 9 A quick guide to governing a university of Commons and the Senate. The two Also on the Board of Governors are seven Studies), and the principals of our affiliated houses of the university are the Senate and members of the Senate , appointed by faculty colleges (Renison, St Jerome’s, St Paul’s, the Board of Governors. The Board has members of the Senate. They provide rep- Grebel). The Librarian and Registrar also “overall responsibility for the affairs of resentation for the different faculties of the sit on the Senate. the University”, while the Senate’s role is school. Three faculty members from each David Yip to “establish the University’s educational Five student senators sit on the Board faculty represent the teaching staff, and 3B Mechanical policies.” of Governors, two of whom are gradu- the presidents of the Faculty Association Board of Governors ate students. Our own Jon Fishbein (4B and Federation of Students, and Graduate or the past few months, the Canadian The Board of Governors, responsible Software) has hands on all sorts of levers Student Association are also present. Each Fgovernment has figured highly in the for the overall directions of the univer- of power, sitting on the Senate, the Board faculty also has one undergraduate stu- media, especially with the flurry of elec- sity, is composed of thirty-six Canadian of Governors, Feds Student Council, and dent senator, and four student senators tions, scandals, accusations, and promises. citizens. Members of the Board include Feds Board of Directors. representing graduate students. Rounding Terms such as the ‘notwithstanding clause’ the President and Chancellor of the uni- Other members of university staff, out the Senate are the ex-officio mem- and ‘minority government’ are now in versity, the Mayors of both Waterloo and and members appointed by the Lieutenant bers (Members that hold seats because of the vernacular, at least for the next little Kitchener, and a Regional Chair represent- Governor in Council also sit on the Board. other positions), alumni representatives, while. ing the Region of Waterloo. Committees composed of members of the and other representatives from the com- However, closer to home, here at the There are also ten members from the Board are formed to focus on specific munity-at-large, chosen from the Board of University, we also have our own govern- community-at-large. These members are areas, such as the Audit Committee, and Governors. ment system with differing levels and rep- intended to “represent a broad spectrum the Building and Property Committee. The Senate decided last year that resentatives, each holding certain powers of the community”. Prominent business Senate Engineering shall have a full reading week, that affect our scholastic lives. Broadly, figures are included in the community-at- The Senate is responsible for the contrary to the position of both our student there are two types of government, stu- large - some of their names or affiliations educational direction of the school. It is senator and our faculty representatives. dent-run, and university run. may be familiar. Bill Tatham of Tatham chaired by the President, David Johnston. This provides some background for Engineering Society Centre fame sits on the Board, along with Representatives from all academic facets the flavour of the different governing The closest level of government in the Ray Tanguay, President of Toyota Motor of the school are on the Senate. Members bodies. With the elections for Feds and school to you is the Engineering Society. Manufacturing Canada. The Board is cur- include the deans and faculty representa- Engineering Society coming up, hopefully Article IIb in its Constitution of this stu- rently chaired by Paul Koenderman, the tives of all six faculties (Arts, Applied knowledge of these governing bodies will dent society states that one of its objectives CEO of Aecon Industrial, and Waterloo Health Sciences, Engineering, Science, better help you make an informed deci- is “To represent the interests of its mem- alumnus. Environmental Studies, and Graduate sion. bers in relations with the Faculty of Engineering Administration, the Engineering Faculty Council, the Federation of Students, and student organizations of other faculties and universities.” Your class reps represent your class on the Engineering Society, and theoretically concerns you may have can be routed through your class reps to the other mem- bers of the Society, including its Executive, though direct com- ments I’m sure are always wel- come. The Society then represents you to other governing bodies, as stated in Article IIa.
Federation of Students Another organ of student gov- ernment is the Feds, the Federation of Students. The Federation of Students has a two-tier organiza- tion - a Board of Directors and a Student Council. “The Student Council is the one unified body that exclusively represents all full-time undergraduate students at the university . The Council is the body responsible for pro- posing and approving referenda, elections, and discussing issues such as enrollment growth, tui- tion, and other university poli- cies.” Each faculty is represented by councilors, proportional to the size of the faculty. You, as an engineering student, are repre- sented by five councilors on the Student Council out of twenty six student councilors. The Feds Board of Directors meets “largely to discuss the legal, contractual, and financial affairs” of the Feds. The Feds Executive sits on the Board of Directors, along with five mem- bers of the Student Council and a General Manager. It is not meant to be representative of all facul- ties, and exists to resolve issues that the Student Council may have trouble resolving. Apart from these student governments, there is also the government of the university itself. It is governed bicamerally - that is there are two “houses” that coexist, much like the two houses of Parliament, the House 10 Wednesday, February 1, 2006
CUTC Presents: The Future! copying), get drunk, get out of Waterloo, speakers. These included personalities such along Windows Vista for everyone to play and get drunk. This year, 312 of them as Mr. Mike Shaver (founder of Mozilla), with), and RIM (a keynote by big Mike went to north Toronto for the Canadian Prof. David Wang (founder of 7 companies), himself). At the Tech Expo (career fair), 33 Undergraduate Technology Conference Dr. Uri Sagman (a prominent figure on the companies were present to talk, network (note: 204 of them were Engineering and Canadian nanotechnology scene), Dr. Daniel and recruit delegates. Most CUTC delegates Gabriel Chan there were 608 delegates in total). Gottesman (quantum cryptography research will agree that no one left the CUTC empty- 3N Systems Chaired by UW Engineering stu- scientist), just to name a few. handed. dent Rahul Bhardwaj, the 7th Canadian Besides mind-blowing seminars, dele- The Sheraton Parkway Toronto North hat do typical Waterloo students do Undergraduate Technology Conference was gates were treated to tours and demonstrations hotel maintained an excellent working rela- Won the second weekend into a new a $192,000 project organized by 48 stu- by such organizations such as Telus Mobility, tionship with the CUTC organizer team. All term? The typical answers would be get dents from many Canadian universities that ATI Technologies, National Instruments, in all, the conference went very smoothly and drunk, go to a bar, get drunk, go study for featured many speakers from a huge array and Apple Inc. Other big names represented professionally. Special thanks to the CUTC midterms (note: I feel sorry for you if this of companies and organizations covering at seminars and keynotes included Nortel 2006 Exec Team for a job well done. If you is your answer), get drunk, do/copy assign- a vast range of topics and technologies. In Networks, Nvidia, Business Objects, General are interested in helping out at CUTC 2007, ments (note: strongly do not recommend total, there were 9 keynotes and 22 seminar Electric, Google, Microsoft (who brought email your inquiries to [email protected]. Waterloo EWB Recognized at National Conference EWB Press Release University of Waterloo chapter to learn IW News Service from student leaders across the country and to educate ourselves about the engi- he University of Waterloo Engineers neering approach in international devel- TWithout Borders Chapter sent 40 stu- opment. The growth of membership and dents to join over 500 inspired young of our educational programs this year is Canadians at the National Conference in a testament to the hard work, thoughtful- Ottawa. From January 18th to the 22nd ness and the delegates were educated on interna- dedication of our members.” – Sarah tional development related issues, partici- Lewis, University of Waterloo EWB pated in interactive workshops and were Chapter President recognised for their accomplishments over Catherine Denis, who will be travel- the past year. ling to Burkina Faso in May of this year The conference included key speakers for a four month overseas internship with such as Lt.-General Roméo Dallaire, com- EWB received the inaugural Professional mander of the United Nations Assistance Engineers of Ontario / Engineers Without Mission for Rwanda in 1994 and author of Borders Scholarship worth $1000. Mike “Shake Hands With the Devil – The Failure Tucker, representative of Digital Rapids, of Humanity in Rwanda,” as well as John EWB Waterloo’s newest corporate spon- McArthur, Manager of the UN Millennium sor, was also present at the conference. Project and an Associate Research Director The network based video-processing and at Columbia University. video stream management technology The University of Waterloo Chapter company has recently pledged $5000 to of EWB also captured a number of group both the Waterloo EWB chapter and $5000 and individual awards. It was named to support the National Conference. “Chapter of the Year” with the University of Western Ontario out of 25 Canadian For more information, please contact: chapters for its large volunteer involve- ment, expansive high-school outreach pro- Sarah Lewis gram, and professional chapter structure. President Sarah Lewis, chapter president and former EWB - University of Waterloo Chapter overseas intern in Cameroon in 2004, [email protected] was named “Volunteer of the Year” out of 15,000 members nationwide for her dedi- David Hutchinson, cation to the organization, selfless commit- Director of External Communications, ment to development, and for making the EWB - University of Waterloo Chapter University of Waterloo chapter the largest [email protected] and most effective chapter in Canada. CUTC: “The EWB National Conference Top: B=Soc Ex-Prez Karim posing for the Camera. Cheese! is an extraordinary opportunity for the Bottom: Students visiting the Workbrain Booth during TechExpo. Frosh-Aid, for What ‘Ails Ya I am one of the three Frosh Mentoring directors this term. My fellow mentors are Adrienne Nelson and Brandy VanBenthem. We are here to help you. University can be Michael overwhelming when starting out, particu- sue-kam-ling larly with an engineering workload, but let 2a chemiical me just say we know what you’re going through. We were frosh once too and we o, you’ve made it to your 1B terms, want to help. Scongratulations; I hope Rohan was So if you have any questions or con- easy on you in the Phys 115 Final. By now cerns about university, or even life in I’m sure you 8-streamers are wondering general, drop us a line either on the frosh about co-op and you B-soc 4-streamers mentoring website (engfrosh.uwaterloo. are wondering about work reports. Maybe ca) or email Adrienne, Brandy or I at anel- you’re looking to move out of residence sonm, bkvanben or jmsuekam@engmail. next year or are looking at owning a vehi- uwaterloo.ca respectively. So if you see us cle and don’t know where to start. Well (pictured at right) on or around campus and I’ve got the remedy to all your concerns! have a question for us, or even just want to In order of descending height and ascending awesome: Mike, Brandy, and Ady The Answer: Frosh Mentoring. say hello, feel free stop us and chat. Wednesday, February 1, 2006 11 A Lesson in Na na na na na na na Discouraging Voters Leader! said that you didn’t need any proof you live in Waterloo, and that she was letting students vote very frequently. With this newfound information, we Michael went and asked the ladies again whether sue-kam-ling or not we could cast advance votes 2a chemiical outside of the riding. They then told us (once again very rudely) that we ith poor voter turnout in the 2004 couldn’t vote for our home ridings at Welection, particularly in the age that station, and to go to Victory Sports bracket of 18 to 24, you might think at Bridgeport and Weber. that Elections Canada would be working Knowing that Bridgeport and Weber towards resolving the issue of apathy was just over a kilometre away (and among voters. Unfortunately, as a few once again trying to avoid a cab ride) of my friends and I found out, they are we walked. When we arrived there, we not. finally found Elections Canada employ- Three of my classmates and I decided ees who knew what they were doing to be responsible citizens and cast our and were pleasant to boot. We filled out votes. We were all particularly inclined some forms for voting, and finally went to vote in our home ridings since we through the complicated, three-envelope were more informed on issues at home voting process for voting outside of the than those in Waterloo. We knew that Waterloo riding. advance polling took place on the 13th, Upon noting that postage isn’t paid 14th and 16th of January, and since we for in distance voting, we crossed the were otherwise occupied we decided to street and bought stamps at Shoppers hold off until Monday the 16th. Drug Mart. We caved in on the cab idea, And so, unbeknownst to us, our epic and caught a taxi home and mailed out "Thufferin Thuccotash, I WON! Now which way to 24 Thuthix?" journey began. our ballots as soon as we arrived. Andrew dodds this fall he killed this very bill and many oth- When class was finished on Monday Now what’s my point behind tell- 2A Mechanical ers he vowed to implement during his cam- afternoon, one of my friends called ing this story? Well there are multi- paign). Then, expect him to tell Canadians to Elections Canada and asked where we ple reasons. First of all, if Elections anuary 23rd ushered in a new age for trust him, and to give him the full power of a could perform advance voting outside Canada wants to encourage voting in JCanadians. Gone is the corrupt leader of Parliamentary majority, so that he can further of the Waterloo riding for our home rid- the post secondary student population, the sponsorship scandal (well, technically his work to create a new and better Canada, ings. The nice lady who took my friend’s they should make accommodations on Jean Chrétien left years ago), as well as the one where we can militarise every coast, arm call told us to go to the polling station at their campuses for both local and out of minions who carried out its atrocities (didn’t every authority, raise taxes for the poor and the Village 1 Great Hall. We were some- riding voting. I mean really, they can’t Paul ban them from the party a while back cut taxes so as to reward the biggest spend- what surprised at how seemingly easy complain when we don’t vote, because though?). Now, Canadians have voted unde- ers. Now imagine what Harper could do after this would be, and also delighted since it’s a damn near impossible process. niably in favour of change. Yes, a whopping a few years of playing it cool and making it was a particularly cold day. We shouldn’t have to go all the way to 36% of those who cast a ballot cast it in right-wing appointments to the courts of our We trekked across campus and Bridgeport and Weber to vote. favour of Stephen Harper (although 58% of country. arrived at Village 1 to find a complete Secondly, Elections Canada should those who did said they voted for him only I have hope on two levels though, that lack of a polling station. Upon notic- actually train their election-time to kick the Liberals out of power. So the real Harper might not be as scary as everyone ing the emptiness of the Great Hall employees and teach them the answers statistic is that 24% actually said that they thinks (and anyone who hears him talk in his we asked Housing Administration if to all possible questions. I mean so voted Conservative because they wanted a sleep must surely know as they are chilled to they knew of a polling station. Their many of their employees were so baffled Conservative Government. 24% of 36% is the bone). My first hope came this week, with response surprised and baffled us. They when we asked about voting outside of 9%, being generous to Harper and rounding a seemingly humble back and forth between claimed they had no idea there was even Waterloo that in order to appease our up). So yes, while less than 1 in 10 Canadians the American ambassador to Canada David going to be voting there. enquires they simply told us half-truths actually wanted a Conservative government, Wilkins, and our Prime Minister Designate Confused and a little frustrated, we which resulted in our 4-hour voting and 90% of Canadians voted for a center or Stephen Harper. During his campaign, Harper decided to consult the Elections Canada process. center-left government, that means we get pledged five billion dollars to establish a website. We then saw that advance vot- Thirdly, Elections Canada should not our beloved Stephen Harper and his Alliance deep-water port in Iqualuit, and to obtain ing was to take place at the polling sta- employ people that are rude or unwilling members in Conservative haircuts to become icebreakers and underwater listening posts to tion at Waterloo Memorial Recreational to help people that are unsure of what our new government. If that’s not an argu- assert our national sovereignty in the arctic (a Complex, at Father David Bauer Drive they are doing. This strongly discour- ment for proportional representation right nice way to clearly tell the Danes that Hans and Erb St. We decided to check how far ages voting as it is very demoralizing to there, then I don’t know what is! Island is ours!). it was on Mapquest to see if taking a cab have someone talk down to you simply What does this new government mean In response to this, Ambassador Wilkins was needed, and it looked to be about a because you do not know the confusing for Canada? As a minority government, it stated that this had been an area where we kilometre and a half. So, being on stu- voting process. would usually mean that one party could had agreed to disagree. We firmly believe that dent budgets, we decided to brave the Fourth and finally, they decided to grind the government to a halt by threatening we are sovereign over our country, whereas cold and walk. To verify that this is in not even include postage on something to topple the government, or by using various the Americans do not recognize the waters fact where we needed to vote, we called as important as an election ballot. A fur- techniques (stall tactics) to slow down the between our spattering of northern islands as Elections Canada and asked if we could ther slap in the face was that on the 16th progress of any real work (kind of like our a part of Canada. Stephen Harper made the do advance voting for a riding outside of postage prices went up. last government). Due to the fact that our past right move in response. With no reporters Waterloo at the Complex. After waiting So before Elections Canada can point government lasted less than two years, and addressing this issue with him, he brought on hold for about 10 minutes, they told the finger at our generation and say that that one of the biggest complaints of voters it up all on his own, and said that it is the us yes. we’re politically apathetic, they should was that nothing was accomplished in this Canadian people who will decide the gov- About 25 minutes later, we arrived at take a good look at themselves, their time, a minority government is the ultimate ernment’s mandate. This has been the easiest the Recreational Complex and warmed organization’s structure and the voting card up the Conservative government’s very serve to Harper, who got to distance himself up a bit. We walked upstairs and found process. Voting should feel rewarding, long sleeve. Should Layton, Duceppe, or God from the Americans, and to stand up for the polling station. At last, we can vote! not like a chore. It should be easy, con- forbid (insert new Liberal party leader’s name our sovereignty, all in one punch. This give … or so we thought. When asked wheth- venient and informative and should be here, to be decided at the end of the year) try me hope that he truly will be a great Prime er we could vote now for our home rid- run by nice, tolerant individuals. And to topple the government too early, it is quite Minister. But yes, if this isn’t true, I also ings, the ladies at the station told us that it most definitely shouldn’t involve a possible that voter anger could wipe them out received hope for our future when Harper to vote here we needed to have proof of plethora of envelopes. Unfortunately, of the House of Commons. visited a hospital this week. Asthma, it turns our local address. This confused us, and our voting process was none of the Not quite sure what this really means? out, will be the ultimate check and balance me in particular since my mother has above. While Harper could not pass a bill to, oh against our new leader should he huff and worked for the past few elections and If we really want to boost voter let’s say become the 51st American state, any puff too much right-wing dogma. had never mentioned this before. The turnout, we should revamp the process, other reasonable bill, no matter how right- In the end, he is the leader we chose, and ladies turned us away, rather rudely I and definitely make it easier for those wing, would be a foolish thing to vote against. we must face up to our decision. I hope as might add, and we decided to regroup away from home to vote, particularly Expect come next election for Harper to run most of us do that things will all turn out for in the foyer. the student population since we are the on his record of accomplishment, as he will the best. If they do not, well, there’s always I decided to call my mother (who future of Canada. Hopefully Elections be able to push many bills through the House the chance to stage a revolution. Here’s to was manning a polling station near Canada will learn from their mistakes, of Commons that the Liberal government hoping that we don’t give a boost to the ailing another Ontario university) and ask or else we can expect several repeats of could not (such as tougher penalties on gun auto industry because we’ve torched all the about this local address business. She the 2004 turnout in the future. crimes, although in doing in the government cars in the country a la France last year. 12 Wednesday, February 1, 2006 What Staples Taught Me About Life ety has reached epic proportions. would have to do so by hand. He could streak which is realistically not very ten- The incident at the store really was an not use the broken typewriter as an excuse able. What happened to your mother’s interesting event, since as it unfolded, I to stop working. The two cashiers at the golden rule of ‘Treat others the way you’d was at first siding with the customer, who Staples were probably too young and inex- like to be treated’? With the underlying had every reason to expect that he should perienced in this regard, but their manager anger shown in this man’s outburst, it’s no andre beltempo be served promptly, and his understandable should have known better, and could have wonder we have road rage and trampling 4B Mechanical frustration at discovering that he could not easily instructed one of the cashiers to incidents. get his tax rebate. After the customer lost give the customer a cash rebate equal to People no longer appear to have the o, the other day I went into a Staples / his temper and became verbally abusive the amount required, while making note patient, accepting temperament of our SBusiness Depot, to buy notebooks for however, I immediately switched to the of the fact that the rebate would need to forefathers. I have severe doubts about school, and while mindlessly waiting in side of the cashier, who after all was only be logged in the next day when the system whether our highly individualistic, me-me- line, I witnessed the customer in front of doing her job. But why couldn’t he get that was functioning again. I’m sure that any me culture could withstand any significant me, who had his 5 year old son accompa- tax rebate? The computer system, which number of several other solutions could sort of stress, such as a natural disaster, nying him, attempting to get a tax rebate had been ‘acting up all day’ according to also have been proposed, but because which would probably just reduce most on his purchases, presumably with the the second cashier, was not accepting tax the manager did not possess the initia- of the citizenry to apoplexy, rather than intention of using them for a business. You rebate commands. tive or foresight to solve the apparently empathy. The ease at which we slip into might say: “So what?” and that’s certainly Now it’s understandable that this is an insoluble problem of the stalled computer derogatory and dangerously cynical com- valid, but allow me to continue: the cashier inconvenience to business, but is there no system, he had the gall to simply tell the mentary with regards to any topic, and had extreme difficulties getting the com- back-up way of doing this? What if this customer to return when the system was the similar difficulty we have at praising puter system to process his request, and system were disabled for long periods? working again. That’s the equivalent of the success without immediately attempting to after several increasingly frantic attempts, It prompted the thought in my head of customer leaving with the items in hand, find fault, are atrocious. I must confess that called over the next cashier, who also how many times I had walked into any giving the excuse that he had no cash, I am as guilty as others in this respect; it’s attempted to get the tax rebate system to such situation, and was told simply that and would return to pay when the Interac so much easier to be cynical, and believe work. Finally, the manager was called, ‘the computer wasn’t working’ and there- system began functioning again. We must others’ goals are nefarious rather than ide- but did not appear on the scene. Rather, fore I couldn’t get my file/widget/service/ never forget there’s a good reason we are alistic, but in the end this simply poisons through the cashier, the manager informed whatever. When did this insidious change all taught our courses primarily on paper. our thoughts and serves as a brake on real the now irritated customer that the system occur? Is it truly possible that the moment That’s because, God forbid there’s ever a honest to God optimism for the future. was not working, and that if he could the computer fails we can no longer func- failure in the computer systems, we can What I took away from that incident return tomorrow, he could receive the tion? check our work on paper, by candlelight at the store I’ll be sure to remember, as rebate then. People have become so used to hav- if necessary. it reminded me to make sure I know how The customer, at this point under- ing the database and automated ability The second interesting event of note to perform as much of my job as possible standably irate, then began an extremely to handle tasks that the removal of said from the whole encounter was how quick- without technical aids, and to be patient creative verbal tongue lashing of the first systems, despite the fact that they are ly the customer’s temperament changed and polite to people while doing it, regard- cashier, using very colourful words which tools, becomes an overriding impediment from one of mild irritation to foaming at less of the difficulty encountered. What the I will not repeat here, but which went to the performance of work. If the com- the mouth hatred. At the drop of a hat, he rest of the world does, I can’t control, but along the lines of: “The manager can **** puter breaks, the secretary should be able went from reasonable to roaring. This kind I’ll certainly be sure that my little corner of himself if he thinks I’m going to ****ing to be dynamic enough such that he can of behaviour is not only unacceptable, it it is a happier one. come back tomorrow to pay for this pile of write schedules and notes on paper with a shows a disturbing lack of common sense, ****. You tell him I said so.” And so on. pen. He doesn’t need the computer in the especially considering that in this case, the The cashier, who after all was a 17 year performance of his duties. The scary thing person in question had a 5 year old son old, merely smiled and said “Ok, sir.” He is that people have become so used to the watching his behaviour. vented for about a minute or two, at which presence of technology, that the removal of What is his young son to take from his point I went to another line, paid for my the tool is seen as a removal of the service. father’s outburst? That when you don’t get goods, and left the store. This incident This isn’t true. what you want you lose your temper and prompted me to make two conclusions: There is almost always a way of con- begin swearing? That’s no way for any 1. We have allowed our reliance on tinuing work, with a few exceptions (Finite rational adult to act, and yet here this man technology to allow complacency, to the Element Analysis comes to mind). If a sec- was, doing just that. This lack of courtesy point of paralysis. retaries’ typewriter broke, he would still be towards fellow human beings is appall- 2. The general lack of manners in soci- expected to take dictation, and therefore ing, and shows a dangerous individualistic What If?: Religion was on the Internet Kiran Dhaliwal phemous to even consider, but think about to observe a service happening in Italy, protest the concept of online religious 4B Electrical televangelism for a moment. This form Jerusalem, India, Tibet or New Jersey if broadcast, but merely to bring to light an of religious broadcast has been around so desired. idea that could very well be the next revo- s I was recently checking out video. since the dawn of time – more precisely, This free and easy access could be lution in Internet convenience. A much Agoogle.com, the latest offspring from the dawn of telecommunications, which the very thing that prevents certain reli- deeper investigation could be made into the bloated belly of our favourite search is pretty much the same thing for our gen- gious institutions from adopting internet the pros and cons of Internet evangelism, engine, I realized just how far our Internet eration. From the first days of the radio, broadcasting since televangelism only tar- but it would probably require a degree experience has evolved. Gone are the days evangelists were on the air waves, and gets certain viewers in each area. The air in Theology with a minor in Computer of looking up the com- eventually transitioned of secrecy surrounding some religious Science. All I know right now is that as position of Saturn’s over to television. The idea proceedings would certainly be lost, but long as my Google stock keeps rising, I’ll rings or the 1982 of broadcasting religious whether that would be hailed as a leap in always have at least one thing to worship Superbowl winners in messages on TV is not international relations or an invasion of on the Internet. the library, or sheep- “How would a church, exclusive to Christianity privacy is far from obvious. How would ishly asking a friend temple or mosque or North America. In fact, a church, temple or mosque for instance, what foreplay means. ensure that only the without going into names, ensure that only followers of the faith Many of us have also the idea is even more per- would have access to their live web feeds, said goodbye to pay- faithful would have vasive in countries around if so desired? Would you have to request a ing several hundred access, and how would the world that combine login ID? How would you be deemed “wor- dollars for an exten- religion with the state. So, thy” of having one anyway? Aside from sive music collection you be deemed 'wor- if all these people around the logistics of determining who could or or mailing a letter to thy' of having one any- the world are already tun- couldn’t observe online proceedings, there a penpal overseas, ways” ing into weekly religious would also be a question of who would because the Internet programs, isn’t the inter- host them and maintain the “official” sites. makes all those things net just the next evolution- To test the extent of copycat sites, I typed much easier, faster, ary step in televangelism? “Britney Spears” into Google.com and got and more convenient. If anything, it may serve about 14 million hits in addition to the With music, television, to promote a greater glo- “official” one, including Britney’s Guide school courses, books, stores, instant mes- bal understanding of each religion if it to Semiconductor Physics. Online evange- saging and games all on the net now, who were possible to log into weekly sermons lism might start off with good intentions knows what could possibly come next? or prayer readings for any faith, from and genuine sources, but who’s to say that Will we electronically tap into one of the any computer terminal. The beauty of the the sanctity of religion won’t someday be Did you know you can earn valu- few remaining forums of human interac- Internet is that information from anywhere compromised to the extent where Buddha able P**5 points for volunteering tion by introducing religious programs on in the world can reach you virtually as will be the poster-saviour of differential time at the C&D? Email Mary Bland the Internet someday? quickly as if it was being sent from a block equations? at [email protected] to You may argue that the idea is too blas- away. This would give patrons the ability This article wasn’t meant to tout or schedule your shift. Wednesday, February 1, 2006 13 Terrorists Win Election, Upset Freedom, World, Bush rose up to capitulate the Turkish Ottoman over 20 years and the most legitimate So what’s my take on all this? Well, empire. Unfortunately, the majority of that political force in the eyes of the West, has being no expert on the situation, the first land has since become Israel. Hamas’s lost and lost badly. I guess it was kind of thing I must say is that democracy permits main methods to achieve this goal is like what should have happened to the many quagmires to occur, such as this. through armed militaristic resistance; that Liberals but didn’t. However the reasons Personally, I think the election of Hamas Chun Lam is to say screw the mediation and bring of the Palestinians for electing Hamas is a sign from the Palestinian people to the 4B Chemical on the bayonet (or the Semtex). Their were legitimate ones, including corrup- West, that they are tired of the old guard of signature resistance operation is suicide tion in the Fatah government that has Fatah only trying to make something hap- onight our great country has voted for bombings, and they have conducted the deteriorated the quality of living for the pen. Along with the suspicion of rampant Tchange, the newly elected leader goes majority of their suicide bombings against Palestinians. From report interviews by corruption in Fatah, there must also be an as hundreds of supporters cheer the results Israel. But there is another face to Hamas, journalists done on Palestinians, many felt underlying sentiment that Fatah is becom- of the election. However, there’s no one that it operates mosques, schools, clinics, the Palestinian government needed a fresh ing a puppet of the West, a power that wearing the blue ‘C’ emblem and it isn’t and social programs for the Palestinians, start, a new party to improve their living has betrayed the Palestinians in the past. Stephen Harper on stage… In fact they are which may act as support infrastructure conditions; even people who lost family After all, under the promise from T.E. all wearing green headwear, waving green in their battle against Israel. As a result members in Hamas attacks still voted for Lawrence of an Arab state in Palestine flags with Arabic writing inscribed on it. of their unwillingness to use diplomatic the party, which shows the desire of the in exchange for assistance in defeating Yes as a matter of fact this isn’t Calgary, means, they had condemned the Oslo people for change. the Turkish Ottomans, the Arab tribes in this is Gaza, a sandy tundra of mid 30ºC Peace Accord signed in 1993 between So what now for the new Hamas gov- the Palestine area thought they had an balmy days, and the man speaking is Fatah and the Israeli government. Their ernment? Well they don’t actually know, agreement. Though the Arab tribes did Mahmoud al-Zahar, a spokesperson for leaders and personnel are major targets for since they did not expect to win. However, defeat the Turkish Ottomans, the British the party of Hamas, who won a surprising failed to keep their promise and instead 76 seats in the 132 Palestinian Council in under the Skyes-Picot Agreement parti- elections this past week. In the process tioned the former Ottoman Empire into the main political faction that has lead the French and English colonies. Also, the Palestinian movement since the 1960s, Balfour Declaration of 1917 – a docu- Fatah, founded by late periennial peace ment stating British recognition of Jewish maker/terrorist by Israel, and civil engi- claim to a Jewish national state in the neer, Yassar Arafat has been vanquished Palestine region – didn’t help either. With from the leadership of the movement to the result of these two documents the state create the state of Palestine. of Israel was founded in 1947, and the For most people they may not know Arabs are still waiting on theirs. Thus, the what Hamas is, however they definitely Palestinians want a government that will do know what their actions have caused. stand up to the tyranny of the West, and Well known for staging violent sttacks give them more leverage at the diplomatic against Israel and its citizens with the up table. But Hamas should, in my opinion, close and personal sucide bomber – that is lay down the gun in favour of peaceful a person strapped with 30 lbs of Semtex diplomacy. It’s a much better way to solve who tries to infiltrate large crowds of problems, and other militant organization Israelis and blows themselves up along have done so in the past and as a result with the people around them. Hamas, have become somewhat more legitimized, or the Islamic Resistance Movement, is such as The Irish Republican Army and a recently formed group in terms of the First South America, now THIS?!? BAHH! its Political Sinn Fein wing in Northern struggle of the Palestinians to achieve Ireland, or the Tamil Tigers in Sri Lanka. statehood. Formed in 1988 after the inte- the Israeli army (IDF) and its intelligence the west has taken actions: all the western And besides, if Hamas does try to incite fadeh, a revolt among Palestinians living agency (Mossad), which have consistently nations have urged Hamas to renounce war with Israel, the Palestinians would in the terrorities (Gaza Strip and West killed many high ranking officials within violence and achieve goals through diplo- be outmatched in terms of resources, Bank) occupied by Isreal who annexed Hamas in the past 5 years. Hamas is cur- macy. Israel has taken a strong position weapons, and manpower. I mean a guy those terrorities after the six-day war, rently on the EU, USA and Canada’s ter- of not recognizing the victory of Hamas, with a Semtex vest needs to get up close another attempt by the Arab nations to rorist organization list. as they still pose a threat to Israel’s secu- to its target to kill; the Israelis can press a concquer Israel and establish a Islamic The election of Hamas to lead the rity. But all western nations and Israel button and launch a Patriot missile miles state in its place. Its main long term goal Palestinian authority has shocked many have begun to freeze aid packages to the away. This would legitimize a large-scale is to establish an Islamic State on land leaders throughout the world. As the Palestinian Authority (i.e. guilt money) Israeli assault in the eyes of history if such originally mandated as Palestine, in a perennial winners and leaders of the for fear of its use in more terrorist attacks war was instigated, and that would be agreement between the British, through Palestinian Authority, Fatah, an organi- against Israel. Hamas has responded with quite an irony indeed. T.E. Lawerence, and the arab tribes who zation that the west has worked with for strong words condemning these actions. Notwithstanding: the Great Canadian Loophole
Patrick Brown the Charter. This is only possible since 4B Mechanical a law passed under the Notwithstanding Clause has an expiry date. Any law so n the run-up to the Canadian elections, passed cannot remain in effect for more Iyou may have read or heard Stephen than five years after enactment. The Harper and his Conservatives mention the five-year limit was given to coincide fact that they wanted to “revisit the gay with the longest period of time any gov- marriage issue”. Since this particular law ernment can remain in power without was passed to comply with the Charter of another election. Rights and Freedoms, some people ques- The reason that this clause was tion the validity of his plan. It was by entered into the Charter is to protect the order of the Supreme Court of Canada that people from the power of the judiciary, the same sex marriage law was passed. The as in the same sex marriage case, as well Supreme Court had determined that the as to give each province the power to Charter of Rights and Freedoms required protect its own interests from the federal equality in all respects for gays and lesbi- government, should the case arise. In ans. This meant that the government was Canada, should the courts state that a law required to pass a law stating that marriage or lack thereof contravenes the Charter was open to same sex couples. (for anything other than elections, lan- The Conservative plan to revisit the guage rights or the right to physical issue is a valid one. For those who freedom), then the government may pass wonder how the law could be changed a temporary law going against the courts. or blocked considering its roots in the If the people were to disagree with the Charter, there is a reason. That reason law passed, they may revolt and force is the Notwithstanding Clause. This is the government to repeal the law, or to a clause in the Charter that specifically call an election and let another party do states that any national or provincial so. This ensures that the final power The bastion of our freedoms, paper never had so much power! government may pass a law supersed- rests with us, and not any one section of ing an existing one, while overriding the government. 14 Wednesday, February 1, 2006 Rise Up Against Underwear! How not to go on exchange (my favorite), they will have to cleverly together they take up a lot of time, combined remove at least four articles of clothing with the inevitable lag in dealing with people (in most situations…but I’m sure lots with different schedules, and an application of people are creative). Without stand- process that insists on mailing the plethora Devin ing up, this is hard. If both people didn’t of forms. Cass wear underwear, they would only have to David Yip Despite all this I had the forms assem- 1b Mechanical remove two! And think of how easy access 3B Mechanical bled, up until the course equivalencies part; wearing no underwear in a skirt is! that stymied the whole operation as I could n issue crossed my mind as I was On a hot day or in a hot room you will ome of you, roaming the halls, may have not find a combination of courses at INPG Awalking aimlessly one day: What be much more comfortable, there is so Snoticed that it was Exchange Week last that would fit. Be prepared to wade through really is the point of underwear? Forget much more space for airflow and circula- week. The Engineering Exchange office unfamiliar university websites in a language about underwear! tion. Try running without underwear on. held presentations on different exchange you might not understand - it took me quite a Underwear is restricting. Forget under- Just try it. Actually, run naked. If you are destinations each week, along with offer- while to find the course calendar, and figure wear and you will walk faster because your shy or afraid of indecent exposure charges, ing the requisite free food. out exactly what the courses were. stride will be much longer. You will save maybe find a remote field or a beach on If you are one to take things at face value, The Engineering Exchange office, while so much time in the morning not having a warm night. Not wearing underwear you may think think that those were merely full of well meaning people, does not seem to pick out a pair of underwear. Think of allows for more relaxation. If no one wore information sessions, to spread the good word to have the resources to really support you in the productivity increase! If no one wore underwear, there might not be war. of the exchange term to the engineering stu- your process. You’ll have to find the school, underwear we’d all save like maybe a Not wearing underwear creates a con- dent body. Certainly this aim was achieved, find the calendar, find the forms, and usually minute in the morning. That’s a whole versation. If you were at a bar or a social but there was also the more insidious goal of deal with your prospective host school all on minute! Of course it would be one less gathering, you could approach another rubbing the fact that I, David Yip, am stuck your lonesome. It is very much a self-driven article of clothing to wash each time you and mention the fact that you aren’t wear- here in Waterloo, again. I was supposed to process. Housing is also your responsibility, did laundry, so it would be better for the ing underwear. This may offend some be breathing in the crisp Alpine air of eastern most schools I imagine have residence, and environment and mean cheaper laundry religions, I’m not sure. If so, I apologize. France, but instead I’m here again, immersed some may not. Living off campus would (This statement is bullshit because the less But if not, it could dazzle and amaze. A in the oily cloud of the cuisine of eighteen probably give you a better flavour for wher- you wore underwear the more you would possible response from the conversing different cultures emanating from the plaza. ever you’re going though. Not that I’d know. have to wash your pants. But boo under- patron could be: “So why aren’t you wear- Clearly I’m not impressed. What the Exchange office does have is a wear anyways.). Now, when exercising ing underwear?” At this point in time you I’d always wanted to go on exchange, but collection of reports written by past exchange foreplay leading to intercourse, pants and could tell them how awesome it is and how never really put enough time into research- students, these may be valuable in deciding on underwear have to be removed. Anyone much faster it is to get laid. I imagine it is ing and planning it, one, because 3B always where you want to go. who has been there knows that when lying possible to use it as a pickup line. I’ll let seemed so far into the future. Lesson 1: If you So: In the language of the industry, what down on a bed and foreplaying, removing you know. don’t want to go on exchange, start planning it learnings have been acquired through my little said pants and underwear is by no means Now that you know so many great at the last moment. In my case, I was slated to experience? an easy task. When two people are at that ways that not wearing underwear can ben- leave in January 2006, with the term starting in Plan early. I mean start like a calendar certain magic step of the bedroom events efit your life, spread the word and enjoy! February at l’Institue Polytechnique National year before you think you have to leave. de Grenoble. I met with the exchange coor- Some schools require applications up to a year dinator in September, and was assured that in advance. You’ll need time. Be prepared to there was still enough time for me to apply do a lot of self directed research on matching and successfully go. up courses, finding places to live, and that After that I was more or less on my own. sort of thing. There are also popular exchange On the French side, I discovered that schools, and not so popular exchange schools. France has quite an impressively extensive English-speaking places such as England and bureaucracy to wade through, and the appli- Australia are hot, places like France where the cation process involved the writing of letters, instruction is in French, you’ll have an easier making multiple copies of everything under time getting in. Get in touch with exchange the sun, all to be sent to different French coordinators as soon as possible. They are addresses. There was insurance, residence listed on the exchange website, and presum- permits, and student visas. ably they are the ones with specific contacts Here in Waterloo, the official exchange at the host school in question. form needed signatures from all sorts of As for me, I don’t entirely regret not being people all with busy difficult schedules. The able to go, while I’m sure it would have been department undergraduate chair. Your co-op an amazing experience, there are other ways advisor. One other person whose title I don’t to spend time abroad. Also I didn’t really remember. Once accomplished multiple cop- relish the idea of taking 500 level courses in ies of these get sent out to multiple locations. French when I can barely handle my own in There are also the travel considerations; medi- English, so in the end, I had to decide it wasn’t cal checks, insurance, registering with the worth it. Had I more time I may have been Canadian consulate in France, and perhaps able to consider and apply to other schools, getting an International Driving Permit from but time, TIME, people is the most valuable Never worry about skid marks again! the CAA. resource there is, so if you are thinking of Although these are small tasks, added going on exchange, plan early.
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IW Meeting IRS!!! IW Submission Reading Day Reading Day National Deadline Engineering Week Wednesday, February 1, 2006 15 Cindy's Guide to Weddings Environmental Now that all the important stuff is taken care of, it’s about the right time to focus on finding yourself a groom. There Understanding isn’t any real standard for what the man has to be like, as long as his shirt matches Tyler Gale key role as well, but so many people have Cindy Bao the color of your dress while walking 2A Geological chained themselves to, or set up camp in 4b Electrical down the aisle. Kristi Herlein trees in recent decades that the big compa- On the topic of the dress, don’t settle 1N Chemical nies have been forced to slow it down a bit went to the wedding show in Toronto for anything less than Vera Wang. Get it and develop means of sustainability. I last weekend. (Cue “Mazal Tov”.) Ok, custom-made if possible as you need it to ithout a doubt, forests play a vital It turns out the news isn’t all bad. although I couldn’t be any further from the be fitted and refitted while juggling your Wrole in environmental stability. Deforestation rates in South America and altar, I braved the scene nonetheless, all in South Beach diet and cake tasting. For They provide habitats for over half of the Africa have slowed somewhat in the last the name of research. This article docu- you bridesmaids, make sure their dresses world’s plant and animal species, they decade and a half, as suggested by research mented my findings on what’s important are the most hideous looking rags ever so remove carbon dioxide from the air, they – especially observation of Satellite imag- when it comes to planning the so-called you can look glamorous by comparison. stabilize slopes, they are sources for dis- es. On top of that, Europe and Asia actually Biggest Day of Your Life. The part of any weddings I have ease and ailment curing drugs, and the list report an “aforestation” rate that exceeds The key is to start planning early. never had a problem with is when eve- of global benefits goes on, especially for the rates of deforestation. In fact, in China Basically, if you haven’t fantasized the rybody eats. Good food will keep your rain forests. So why do the rain forests of all able-bodied citizens between the ages ceremony by the age of 5, it is too late to guests happy and bonus if it makes them the South American Amazon and central of 11 and 60 must plant at least 3 trees per have that perfect wedding of your dreams. feel guilty on how much or little they Africa disappear at such an alarming rate? year by law. North American deforestation Such intricate preparation is inconceiva- spend on their wedding gift. If the latter The answer actually lies right in one of the actually sits at the balance point right now, ble for most guys, as I am well aware, and objective isn’t accomplished, do send a beneficial properties of forests. Imagine a mainly due to the heightened pressure on the clueless engineers in particular. Not to hand-written Thank You note, “Dear Aunt vast landscape where the soil is so fertile the forestry industry to be sustainable. worry: your significant other would have Rebecca, Thank you for the fondue set. It that huge plants grow on it without ferti- None the less, the facts are there and it done all the work already. Well, unless is definitely the most beautiful one among lizer. Now, if you’re a poor farmer living goes without saying that the issues are not she’s an engineer too, in which case I all we have received, in this particular in a developing country, stop dreaming, go completely resolved. Trees might be grow- suggest that the two of you should elope. colour.” out and buy one of them plots of land at ing as quickly as they’re being cut down And now you guys can feel free to skip This lavish wedding will not come the edge of the rain forest and start chop- in North America but they’re growing in rest of article. (I realized that I am being free, but how very unromantic is it to ping. This is happening in abundance in perfectly spaced lines too close together to heterocentric here, but chances are if you mention cold hard cash when two people Brazil and the less fortunate countries of allow undergrowth. Populations in devel- are gay, you don’t need to read my article are committing to spending the rest of central Africa. Peasants are being forced to oping countries are growing, and farmed and your wedding will be fabulous.) their life together? This really depends expand into the rain forest due to the lack land will continue to become progressively The first thing to consider is loca- on who is footing the bill, but the rule of of fertile, available land elsewhere. This is less fertile without proper care. tion, location, location. The more popular thumb for the cost of a wedding is as fol- arguably by far the largest factor in defor- Be on the lookout for more articles in venue choices can be booked up to a year, lows: 1) take the amount you can afford; estation in developing countries. Clear the Environmental Understanding series in if not more, in advance. Therefore, it is 2) multiply by eighteen; 3) that is how cutting by the forestry industry plays a other issues of the Iron Warrior advisable to do so when you reach the much you must spend. age of consent. The capacity of the venue I should point out that in order to matters and it, of course, is also tied into maximize the applicability and ensure the how many people you are planning on commercialization of the nuptials, I did having at the reception. not include any religious rituals or ethnic Who to send invitation to is crucial as traditions in the guide. Feel free to fill in you may just find yourself in the society the missing pieces, be it the tea ceremony, page on a Saturday morning. Not only Hora dance, or Agni Puja. should you include your immediate fam- Now for the guys, I know I haven’t ily, 50 of your closest friends, but also mentioned much that concerns you yet. I colleagues, acquaintances and acquaint- apologize for my neglect but this whole ances of acquaintances. Most importantly, thing is really not about you. In fact, it I have been informed that there shall be never is since the moment you dropped relatives that you did not know existed. on one knee. During the big day, you Invited by your parents, they are referred will receive a bit more attention than the to as the “wedding relatives”. It is forbid- centre piece, but certainly not as much as den to interact with such relatives except the cake. at the wedding of one’s children. However, to make my guide more One more thing on your agenda that politically correct, I will dedicate the requires advanced planning is joining a remainder of the article to you by focus- new trendy diet program so you can be a ing on the event that leads to all of the size 4, or whatever your goal might be, in above: the proposal. The myth is that no all the photos. self-respecting woman will agree to marry you unless presented with a diamond ring that cost upward of your two-month sal- ary. (My girlfriends and I have argued over the exact length of time, which ranges between two to four months.) This is not a myth; it’s true. Therefore, to judge whether you are ready to tie the knot, please answer the follow- ing questions: What are the 4 Cs? Where is the nearest Harry Winston or Tiffany & Co.? All appears to be in order. The only thing left to do for the newlyweds is to repeat the immortal words the day after you are married, “Dear God! What have I done?” 16 Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Jaclyn Sharpe, 2A Mechanical
Arts Contest! fter being in Engineering for a while, Submit any electronic work via email Awe often tend to neglect our artistic to [email protected]. Prints creativity. Not anymore, because the Arts can be left at the Orifice in the Arts direc- Contest this term has begun. tor mail box .Pieces that are too big to fit in You can submit your entry in any of the the mailbox should be left with Betty. following categories before March 10th: We shall show all the artworks in the Photography: Digital or print display case in CPH and you will get your Poetry: Any form of poetry, Haiku, pieces back after the contest ends. There Yang Sui, 3B Mechanical sonnet… will be prizes for the best submission and Paintings, drawings, sculptures or any winning entries will be featured in the Iron other forms for visual art Warrior at the end of the term. Send in your prof quotes, drawings and poems!
the Iron Inquisition Who would have been your ideal David Yip, 3B Mechanical Prime Minister?
"Donkey Kong!" "Christoper Walken!" “Jack Bauer!” “Larry Smith.”
Kristi Herlein Sheldon Petrie Vishal Singh Yassir Rizwan 1N Chemical 4B Mechanical 3B Mechanical 2A Mechatronics
"Sean Smith." “Don Cherry.” "Red Green." “Sarah Jessica Parker!”
Katie Cerar Darcy Parks Ryan Gariepy Michelle Yu & Krista Akerman 2A Systems 2A Systems 2A Mechatronics 3B Mechanical