Fingerprints: Exploration of Identity, Community And
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Fingerprints: Exploration of Identity, Community and Place Michelle Crawford Bachelor of Arts with Honours (English and Comparative Literature). This thesis is presented for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy of Murdoch University, 2010. 1 I declare that this thesis is my own account of my research and contains as its main content work which has not been submitted for a degree at any tertiary education institution. ..................................... Michelle Crawford 2 Abstract This thesis consists of two stand-alone but complementary components. The first, a work of fiction, ‗Fingerprints: the fiction‘, is a narrative based in a West Australian community exploring questions of memory, identity and experience along with notions of social connectedness. Set in a landscape of grief, physical and emotional isolation, the text is grounded in the everyday-ness and mundanity of life and, through delving into characters' memories in particular, makes visible that which is often largely hidden. This body of work comprises part of the development of a full- length novel. The accompanying exegesis, ‗Fingerprints: the exegesis‘, also engages in part with issues of memory, identity and experience, and explores both the creative processes and the evolution of my own identity as a creative writer and postgraduate student working within another type of community—the university. In a sense, it too is grounded in isolation, and foregrounds the everyday-ness around the development of creative work. It also aims to offer greater insights into and focus on the value of the processes (rather than the products) of creative work. It thus also endeavours to make visible that which is normally hidden in the development of an academic and/or creative project. I address questions arising directly from my own research practices alongside broader discussion of ways in which creative research is intimately connected with the doing of creative writing within the academy. 3 Table of contents Title page .................................................................................................................. 1 Declaration ............................................................................................................... 2 Abstract ..................................................................................................................... 3 Table of contents ...................................................................................................... 4 Acknowledgement .................................................................................................... 5 Fingerprints: the fiction Part One .................................................................................................................... 6 Part Two ................................................................................................................. 21 Part Three ............................................................................................................... 74 Part Four ............................................................................................................... 140 Part Five ................................................................................................................ 176 Works Referenced ................................................................................................ 191 Fingerprints: the exegesis Foreword .............................................................................................................. 193 Part One . beginnings ..................................................................................... 195 Part Two . more beginnings ............................................................................ 214 Part Three . (re)beginnings .............................................................................. 251 Part Four . becoming ........................................................................................ 275 Part Five . (un)ending ...................................................................................... 295 Post Script ............................................................................................................ 307 Works Cited ......................................................................................................... 308 4 Acknowledgements I would like to acknowledge with deepest gratitude the support I have received over the past four years from my primary supervisors, Dr Simone Lazaroo and Dr Anne Surma of Murdoch University. I thank Simone in particular for her close readings, detailed and constructive feedback on my countless fiction drafts, and for her encouragement and advice throughout the development of the fiction. I am especially grateful for her support in the later stages of the project. I appreciate Anne‘s ongoing support of my exegetical project, for the many hours spent reading my work in progress, for enriching my formal research with interesting discussions and reading suggestions, and for her patience and professionalism. I thank Anne too, for reading my fiction drafts at various stages of development and for her constructive feedback and suggestions on these drafts. In their role as my primary supervisors Simone and Anne have offered invaluable professional guidance and mentorship. Their support has assisted in my growth as a researcher and writer over the duration of this project. I would like also to acknowledge the early assistance of Associate Professor Lenore Layman. Her reading recommendations early in the project planted seeds that germinated and ultimately grew to be something very different to what we discussed at that early stage. I am grateful to Murdoch University for awarding me a Murdoch University Postgraduate Scholarship and a subsequent extension scholarship. Without this vital support there would have been no project. I am grateful too for the financial assistance provided to subsidise my trip to attend an international conference and undertake research overseas. My thanks too, to my friends and colleagues at Murdoch University, past and present, who have offered encouragement and support in a multitude of ways. I particularly recognise Wendy Glassby, fellow PhD traveller. Our long lunches and debriefings will be missed. Constructive feedback and encouragement from my two earliest university writing tutors, Drs Marcella Pollain and Josephine Wilson when I was an external student undertaking my undergraduate degree had more impact on my writing journey than I realised at the time. So too did the feedback of an early tutor from outside Murdoch University, my now good friend, Dr Gaylene Perry. Gaylene‘s unceasing support, both professionally and personally will always be valued. Thanks also to my friends from the outside world who tolerated my long periods of hibernation, tardy contact and constant rescheduling of planned catch-ups with grace. Lastly, and most importantly, I wish to thank my family. Without the patience, understanding, unconditional love and support, and a significant amount of sacrifice from my partner Richard, I could not have juggled my time and energy to complete this project. I appreciate too the support of Stacey, Alex and Jordan—all who grew into young adulthood as I undertook this project—and ensured that I always stayed grounded and remembered that postgraduate study is but one facet of a full life. 5 Fingerprints: the fiction 6 Part One 2000 7 One The end didn‘t exactly come suddenly. The night she topped herself, Crazy Catherine Connor didn‘t phone the hospital and tell the temp nurse on duty she wanted to die. It probably wouldn‘t have made a difference if she had. She‘d phoned thirty seven times over the last one hundred and ninety two nights, saying much the same thing before the night nurses stopped logging her calls. There didn‘t really seem much point in creating more work for themselves. At 4.15 A.M Sam Jenkins-Anderson, dressed in her nightie and rubber thongs, keeps Cheryl Harvey company just outside the main doors of the hospital. A long and difficult labour, followed by a constant stream of visitors over the last few days, has left Sam exhausted. She‘s too tired to work out whether her mind or body aches most. Cheryl, the senior nursing sister on duty tonight, is near the end of her shift and talks way too fast for Sam‘s brain to keep up. She‘s repeating something Sam thinks she‘s already said—that how really, despite those calls Catherine used to make, nobody could have been more surprised than she was when the call came through from the coppers. Sam wonders if there is some sort of patient confidentiality rule that makes talking to a patient about these things illegal. At the least, it‘s surely unethical? Maybe it‘s one of those grey areas, and it‘s sort of okay if you know the patient well? Not that Sam really knows Cheryl well at all, when she thinks about it. They don‘t really talk much. Apart from those half a dozen times over the last fifteen years 8 where Cheryl sought Sam‘s ear, or the rare occasions Sam did likewise to Cheryl, they pretty much live their own lives—just waving over the hip-height wire fence in passing, or chatting at Christmas functions or occasional company dinners. Sam could have gone home with the baby the previous day, but she was so weepy that morning that the day staff advised her to stay put. ‗It‘s just the third day blues love. Don‘t worry—you‘ll be right as rain tomorrow.‘ ‗Surely it‘s not normal to take this long to love your baby?‘ Mark asked Cheryl. For