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THE BROKER OF CHOICE FOR THOSE IN THE KNOW. [email protected] ÜÜÜ°*>-ÌiÀ°VUÓ{nn{äää{{ $200 Dec. 20-26, 2018 / 12-18 Tevet 5779 thejewishnews.com Fulfilling Needs Detroit Chesed Project keeps expanding its reach to help more people. See page 12 HOW TO RAISE AN ADULTBreak Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success Julie Lythcott-Haims Thursday, January 24, 2019 7:00 PM-Program 8:15 PM-Book Signing Temple Beth El 7400 Telegraph Road Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301 Join us as we welcome Julie Lythcott-Haims for an important event about the dangers of over parenting. Julie will discuss her provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising pre- teens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood. An Evening with Julie Lythcott-Haims, This event is open to the community at no cost thanks to the New York Times Best Selling Author generosity of the Susie and Norm Pappas Challenge Fund and the and former Dean of Freshmen at Zuckerman/Klein Family Foundation. Stanford University Register online at jewishdetroit.org/events Learn more at wn2t.org inside Dec. 20-26, 2018 12-18 Tevet 5779 VOLUME CLIV, ISSUE 20 Detroit Jewish News n VIEWS 5-10 JEWS IN THE D 12 Fulfi lling Needs Detroit Chesed Project keeps expanding its reach to help more people. 17 Terror Threat Ohio man arrested for threatening 28 attack on local synagogue. 22 Christmas Wish Donors step in to help 12-year- old supply gravestone for his best friend. 24 Sports 26 Moments SPIRIT 27 Torah portion ARTS&LIFE DAILY HEADLINES • Sign up for JN daily headlines at 28 Michael Zegen Tells Al The actor who plays Midge’s thejewishnews.com/newsletter husband in Mrs. Maisel, reveals some secrets and plot twists. SHABBAT LIGHTS Shabbat starts: 30 Top 10 Jewish-Related Movies to Watch During Friday, Dec. 21, 4:45 p.m. Holiday Break Shabbat ends: Saturday, Dec. 22, 5:50 p.m. 32 Celebrity Jews * Times according to Yeshiva Beth Yehudah calendar. ON THE COVER: ON THE GO Cover art: Yosef plays in shaving 34 Events/Editor’s Picks cream at The Spot, a program of the Detroit Chesed Project/ courtesy Detroit Chesed Project 22 ETC. Design: Michelle Sheridan 35 the exchange 37 soul 41 raskin 42 looking back jn December 20 • 2018 3 User’s Guide Temple Israel Sisterhood for the Soul Gift Shop We carry a full line of Judaica for all your Special Celebrations & Holidays! JOIN US FOR ONE OR ALL SIX CLASSES! #(.(/ %")"%!('! Thursday Mornings !" ! " ! Gift Shop Hours !" !" ! January 3, 17, 24 & 31 Monday 3pm–6pm (and continuing) Thursday 3pm–6pm Adult Health and Fitness is a program that will focus on improving balance, mobility, 10-11 am Temple Israel Sunday 9:30am–Noon (religious school days) coordination, flexibility and overall Wellness. with Cantor Michael Smolash Through a structured low impact exercise Appointments available by request. program performed from both seated and standing positions. Do you want to learn about the structure of your soul? $5 per class or $25 for all 6 sessions ()'$#!#))"%!('!$'0)#(( Is it possible to navigate the $'$#)))) ÁRZRIFRQVFLRXVQHVVWKURXJKWKH Class led by NSCA certified trainer body more masterfully? Matt Leonard. Call or Text one of our helpful Co-Chairs Through delving into this powerful for special appointments, requests # kabbalistic text, you will gain the or with any questions. ! tools to discover your highest self and Mary Lou Berndt Debbie Fishman master the challenges of your life. 248-875-1595 248-227-2146 [email protected] [email protected] &*'"#)($')%'$'",!!$)$'( RSVP to Maya Grinboim at 248-661-5700 or #$)())#)).$*#%')%)#!$,"%) Debbie Eichenhorn [email protected] -'(,+!'. .$*'#$) 248-496-4525 )'(#$#)$%'$+#$)'$# [email protected] 5725 WALNUT LAKE ROAD, WEST BLOOMFIELD, MI 48323 248-661-5700 TEMPLE-ISRAEL.ORG 4 December 20 • 2018 jn views for openers How Long Do You Think You’ll Stay Here? ’ve lived in Detroit for a little this anywhere else, and I enough” is ludicrous, but contagious. over two years and, in that time, notice that my friends liv- We will need to move past that narra- II have been asked at least once ing in New York and San tive if we want to be the kind of city that a week how long I plan to stay. I get Francisco do not encoun- attracts talent, that embraces the migra- the question from people back home, ter this. tion of a young and ambitious global understandably: my parents in New Part of it, to be sure, is ththee workforce, that creates the kinds of York, my extended family, my college fact of being newish and of hhavingaving professional, residential and educational friends, most of whom no family ties to this place;e; part ooff it ddegreeegree fromfrom out ofof opportunities that make people, wher- live on the East Coast is the assumed itinerancy ofof earlyearly state carrcarriesies mysti-mysti- ever they are from, want to stay and that and have never been to adulthood. But part of it, I believe, fyfyinging caccachehe thatthat no provides a viable option for young peo- Detroit. is a sinister, subtle and deeplyeply set aamountmount of local net-net- ple to settle more permanently. But here, too, the sense of regional inferiority.ty. I am worwork-buildingk-buildl ing outout-- As the city and region build the lit- question is a constant asked when I will leave becausecause iitt wewweighs.eigighs. It’s assumedassumede eral and social infrastructure to match from my friends, local is believed that I would notot wantwant ththatat I amam or willwill soon and compete with coastal megacities, Lauren and transplanted, from or actively choose to stay. be bored,boredd, that I will be we need to consciously eradicate the Hoffman community members Southeast Michigan is uusedsed to pupulledlled eelsewherelsewheh rer by betterbeb ttere opportu-oppportut - self-deprecation from our vocabulary. and parents of friends, young people leaving. For decades, ouourr nities or simpsimplyly becausebecause I’ve tiredtired ofof World-class cities do not assume that from colleagues and casual work con- universities graduated tens of thou- a study-abroad-esque experience in people will leave them. tacts, from neighbors. The questions sands of students straight to Chicago, Michigan. This is not a promise that I will range from “Wow, what are you doing the Bay Area and New York; if they This is deeply insulting to Detroit never move. By the way, the answer here?” and “Do you like it here?” to returned, it was years later, to raise and people who are from here and stay I give to the question of whether I’ll “How much longer are you going to children near supportive parents. here. It reveals serious underestimation stay is that I love it here, that I have stay?” and “When do you think you’ll Even as the outflow measurably of Detroit as a place where someone never been so compelled or fascinated go back to New York?” slows, the transplant from another might want to move and stay and live. by a place, and that I plan to spend I distinctly remember when, upon city remains a relative rarity. We are Frankly, it suggests that I should leave many years working in and on Detroit, meeting a local rabbi early in my time less and less unusual with each pass- — that I am passing up these unidenti- though not necessarily contiguously. here, the rabbi explicitly expressed that ing year, but there is a lasting element fied opportunities elsewhere or, that by The questions we ask and the I wasn’t worth significant investment of undue excitement at finding that staying, I’m negatively impacting my answers we give matter, and I hope of time or emotion because I would be someone comes from elsewhere. I social capital, even locally. that my answer is enough for my com- here for two years at most. find that it opens doors in a way that’s And when Detroit born-and-raised munities here to think investing in our I want to make sure I’m communi- unwarranted: My opinion on local people, with their deep and expansive relationships is worthwhile, enough cating how strange this is: For more affairs I may know nothing about is local networks, assume new kids won’t to feel that I’ve chosen this place as than two years I’ve lived here, and at asked and respected, just being from stay, they implicitly choose not to form enthusiastically as I have. Detroit is a least weekly I am asked when I will New York becomes a credential on deep bonds or welcome newcomers place worth choosing — let’s treat it leave. I hear similar things from other job applications; new acquaintances into those networks, creating a subtle and talk about it that way. ■ transplant friends, with the exception are illogically impressed upon hearing isolating effect that perpetuates the of those who have moved here to only where I am from. divide and shallowness of engagement that ultimately makes it easy to leave. Lauren Hoffman is a millennial transplant to join their Detroit-born life partners. Thinking about graduate school Detroit, works at Rock Ventures and is actively I haven’t experienced anything like in my future, I am observing that a The belief that Detroit “isn’t good involved in the Detroit Jewish community. Feature your business NOTTING H ILL REHAB SERVICES of W EST B LOOMFIELD When you choose our center for your rehabilitation with our new way needs, you can take comfort in knowing that we’ll be here for you every step of the way, for as long as to advertise, you need us.