THE MUPPETS “Artist") (Also: Hessian, Headbanger, Or Heavy Metal Dude) by John Paine Sexual Dance, the Pigeon
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NOT INSIDE • Crackhouse! Original Motion Picture Soundtrack •The Bruce Jenner Basement Tapes • Back-masking: Sinful Satan ism or Silly Sham? • TV Superstar or Rock Goddess? FM asks Justine Bateman Which is Hipper • Madonna Confesses: “Now I’m Androgynous!” full of these people with the Leather Lingerie clothes and the tans, and we just said, ‘Shit.’ We needed The Story of something smooth to say to betties at parties other than *What’s your major?' W e re a l an I.V. Band ized that we had to form a by Kim Kash and band, so that we’d have an Jeffrey P. McManus opener — Y ea h , I ’m in Leather Lingerie’. Cool, huh?” he grins, Leather Lingerie is the quin and takes a long drag from his tessential I.V. band. The smoke. drummer sucks. The amp got ,It is the band's first rehear left out in the rain last quarter. sal, and they don’t let the fact The bass player, Jimmy, has a that they’ve never played girlfriend who lives in L.A., so together get them down — he never makes it to practice (a they’re in a real band now. bimonthly event held in the Clarke is still in the bathroom. singer’s Sabado Tarde drive The jam begins, and the way). And they refuse to play at cupboard doors rattle to the any party with less than three feedback. They play a reggae Meister kegs. version of “Stepping Stone," We caught up with the LL then Steve and li’l Ricky, the boys in drummer Steve’s pad, guitarist, begin arguing about upstairs from a well-known what songs are to be on LL’s Isla Vista sandwich shop. Most play lis t of the band members Were “Van Halen’s ‘Eruption’ has there, they thought, although got to be the gnarliest guitar riff they couldn’t be sure where ever, man," li’l Ricky insists, their lead guitarist, Clarke, flailing his electric-red guitar was located at the moment. “I to and fro in the kitchen as he think he's in the bathroom," speaks. W e question his choice said a drowsy girl in the comer. of a Def Leppard muscle shirt, We wished .someone would since it is painfully obvious the open a window. guy has never laid eyes on a “We’re realty in this for the Nautilus machine. He hits the chicks," lead singer Frank — microwave and curses. “call me ‘Fiy’" — said in a mo It becomes clear that there’s ment of candor. He pauses, no way li’l Ricky could ever propping a lanky elbow on one p la y ‘Eruption,’ so they settle knee. “We went to parties all See BAND, p.2A ' i; " J PS* i p i | : W : sSi i . :W:® 1 p i s - -H 1« ............................ _...... _....... ....................... ...... HS _ l 1 * 1 ■ ■ 1 a ¡ i l l i ¡ ■ ¡ P S l P l ■l l l i l l j| | | g | ■ 1 1 1 l l p p l i s i p p " p ;S; S ; K|Ej ' i l l 1 V ' v1 I l i l ¡¡¡(¡¡1 1 I J p 1 1 ! '¿7'' If || ¡¡II1 9 ¡¡¡¡111 11 llllll X* 1 > | \ \ p ; s i P P P i i P i P : x r J fj' p p p p p i p s 3 j j j jgpig i l I p | i PPPI ■ .. .......... 2 A Friday, September 221989 Rock Stars Say the Darnedest Things! HOW TO Really Stupid Rock Quotes Bjr T in McDaniel B o n o o jm . comparing, with characteristic modesty, U2 to the Beatles: Rock stare say stupid things. And people listen. *We’re not saying we’re a better band than the Bea Come out with a Top Forty hit and you have a licence to tles. But wearem om erfabandthanthe Beatles. We ai e. sa y anything — anything, no matter how bigoted, asi There’s four of us —•' a street gang essentially, who drew nine or just plain bone-headed— and have it printed in no lines. Not Lennon and McCartney songwriting and otherwise respectable journals. Wife beating is O JU Mingo's the drummer ... It'd be childish of us to say DEADHEAD DEATH ROC The Soviets need to be told that "men are men" by New we’re better than the Beatles or we’re worse than the (also: hippy, granola, tree-hugger) (also “artist" Jersey deadbeats! Guys who try to run over police offic Beatles. I’m Just saying we’re more of a band.' (KS, DIET ers while on PCP should not do time! Ifyou were a rock M arch 9 , 1989) DIET 1. Never eat anything 1 star you could say stuff tike that and have It published. 1 A d R o se o f Gum-N-Roses, rejuting charges he‘s 1. When buying food it's a must to has the possibility of puti Dent believe us? the following are all. actual quota anti-homosexual: look for the good and bad words. Good your cheeks.” tion s from actual rock stare &om actual journals. T h e most 1 do Is, like, on the way to the Troubadour words: safflower, soy, squash, day's 2. Eat lots ofbaguettesr ICadkMun, during a Retting Stone interview, uponbe- in ‘Boystown’ on Santa Monica Boulevard, 111 yell out su p p ly o f ------, wok, compost-grown, fee. They’re pretty cheap a ing shown Latoya Jackson's nude Fktybcy spread: the car window "Why don’t you guys like pussy?’ ... fresh squeezed, steamed, fruit juice you feel unhealthy most “Give me that! No Shitl She had a tit job, for sure! Antihomosexual? I'm not against them doing what they sweetened, honey and brown. Bad Also, the baguette/coffee This isn't bad. They're funny. But you see only tits? M a want to do as long as it’s not hurting anyixxfy and words: veal, nitrates, fried, boiled, keep you . “regular." jor Ut job!* (Rolling Stone. March 23. 1988) th*y*renotforcingitonme.idon't need them in my free steak, tropical oil, monosodium gluta 3. W hen you wake up ir or. pardon the pun, up my ass about it* {RS, Aug. 10, mate, white. drink a glass of vinegar, Ike Turner, musing on his collapsed, often turbulent, 2. Eat many things that are sup you in a bad mood for marriage to Tina Turner: posed to grow into something else (spr 4. Chain smoke whe *1 dont regret nothing I've ever done, absolutely no J a m e s B ra w n on the injustice of his imprisonment: outs, nuts, seeds, saplings) or foods worried or drinking coffee, thing, man because it took all ofthat to make me what l Taking James Brown out of the music business Is that have “eyes.” will discourage exercise, \ am — and I love me today, I really do. Yeah. I hither, but like taking Moses out o f die Bible and saying It was a 3. R em em ber good tofu is m ore than I didn't hit bar more than the average man beats his complete book... It’s hard to believe that when a man just bean curd. LINGO wife. The truth is. our life was no different from the outdoes Beethoven, Bach and Brahftis, they don't have 1. S ay things that are “ guy’s next door.* (San Francisco Chronicle, Aug. 4, a place for him.* {Los Angeles Times. Feb. 9. 1989) LINGO Remember, life is a serie 1985) 1. Say “happy," “trippy," “total pro less, torturous obstacle: tein," “multi-death corporations," and need for happiness. The Dubious Brothers, Winnie’s Flatulence, Whilst, “that’s m y dog. B lu e ” a lot. 2. Say “Sartre” a lot Run Stockings, and The Interestings. 2. Always brag about how many 3. A scoff is the perfe< I.V. Band li ’l Ricky then picks up his guitar and strum s out the Dead concert tapes you have. Lie about with anyone who wants Continued from p.lA riff to one of his own compositions. The riff sounds sus the sound quality of the recordings. “G od." on a two-minute punk version o f‘Louie, Louie' Instead. piciously like a German polka as interpreted by the 3. When at a Dead “show," wander 4. Never say “new Cur Sweat and tension-soaked, they gag through the rendi combined genius of John Bon Jovi and Slim Whitman. around muttering the names of all the till,” or “Mint Mocha." tion. These guys are serious, man. None of the band “You know any bass players? Dude, give them our drugs you know. Pretend that you like 5. Also, everything is members know exactly when to stop, but finally drum number, okay?," he says. “Bass players are always the the m usic. thing is “cool." mer Steve’s foot gets tired, and he takes a smoke break. hardest to find. Probably ’cause they’re never In the Am lnute later, the rest of the band peters ou t We hear lim eligh t” D R E S S C O D E D R E S S C O D E a toilet flush in the background. “Hey, isn’t that a polka beat?" we interrupt. 1. Throwaway all your shoes and 1. Black this. “We went through a lot of different name changes,” “Aw, no! That's my latest creation! It's a hardcore things that su p p o rt p a rts o f yo u r body.