Scientology: Losing the Religion
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Scientology: Losing The Religion Previously published at: http:/jove.prohosting.com/~xenuart/losingthereligion.htm and retrieved from the wayback machine to preserve for future generations. Minor spelling & formatting corrections applied, and hyperlinks repaired & added. Part One Over the years, I have met a number of people, people who have looked into the seemingly implausible things being taught by the Church of Scientology, the huge sums of money they charge, people who cannot possibly comprehend how intelligent people can get caught up into it. To best understand this, one must understand that there are different types of people on this earth. If you are such a person wondering these things, then to understand this you will have to, for a moment, jump into the skin of someone who is different than you, cut from a different cloth than you, and, such a cloth, perhaps, as that I was cut from during those years that I was swept up by the church. Once upon a time, during the year 1966, I was a young boy of fifteen, my mother was away on business, and so I was staying with two of her friends, friends who happened to be Scientologists. "What is OT?” I asked Wanda, curious about the cryptic acronym I was seeing everywhere in church literature laying around the house. She had already given me the basics of Scientology and Dianetics, but the banal descriptions they offered me didn't catch my attention much, that is, until she answered this question. "An OT is someone who, if they wanted a hamburger, could make one appear out of thin air, like magic", Wanda replied, sincerely. My eyes opened wide with amazement. For a typical young man whose universe was laden with visions of superheroes, that was an irresistible concept, and I was hooked. After this, I lost interest in my high school academics, and proceeded to get poor grades. Of course, why should I bother with such a trivial pursuit as education, I reasoned, when all of this will become useless and moot once I acquire my OT powers as promised by Scientology? In the summer of 1968, I dropped out of high school and moved to L.A to join Scientology staff at the church located on 9th street. I found myself working most of the time with little time off, and the pay was not enough to live on. I did this for a while and later I joined the Sea Org at Celebrity Centre. We worked and worked and worked. I remember sometimes, during the few moments I took off, just in order to bath and do laundry, looking out of the bathroom window, at all of the trees in the yard, hearing the birds singing, the tranquility of it, such a feeling that was very desirable yet so distant from the business of daily Sea Org life. I felt guilty because I knew, as Scientology had taught me, that we were at war, and the war was serious, i.e., if we didn't work as hard as we could, even though life wasn't comfortable, nor was the pay much, there might someday be no hope for mankind, and even such a luxury as enjoying a few moments of serenity was too much, and that I had better get back to work, lest I commit an overt, and have to explain myself to the Ethics Department. The mental conditioning was total, and if you had approached me at the time and informed me of the silliness of my efforts and beliefs, I would have just thought that you didn't understand the depth of Scientology, the powerful truths it afforded, and that Hubbard was, indeed, the true savior for mankind. How is it that a perfectly intelligent and sensible human being would get swept up and completely taken over by such an organization? If you, the reader of this essay, have never been overwhelmed and taken by a cult, good for you, and if you really want to understand how this phenomenon is possible, you must understand that there are people who live life with a huge void in their being, one that yearns to be filled. Not everyone, myself included, believes that the cosmology and belief structure given in the Bible makes sense. If not the Bible, then what? What is the meaning to life? Why are we here? What is the nature of spirit? Does it exist? We are we going? Is there a God? Is there destiny? Christianity may neatly fill this void for some, but there are number of people who are dissatisfied with it, and such people are ripe for cults. No one with any common sense would believe that it is possible to create something out of thin air. But there are those, myself included, who grew up in a fantasy world, a world of comic books, superheroes, a world of daydreams, the world of a young boy who was fascinated by supernatural things, occult things, and even though I was a fairly bright boy, when I was told that this was possible, that omnipotent powers were attainable, my desire to believe it was so strong that this overpowered whatever common sense that I had. Common sense didn't really have a chance, and I imagine a similar phenomena must exist in the minds of many who buy into the belief system afforded by the Scientology cult. But it wasn't merely the alleged attainability of omnipotent powers; the Scientology books exuded an aura of science and authenticity. Perhaps they wouldn't have fooled someone really studied in science, but they fooled the mind of one fifteen year old. The books then (not anymore, of course) had a more clinical look to them. Today, the jacket covers for the books smack of manipulative imagery, the volcano, etc., but back then they looked like real college textbooks. Scientology is about indoctrination and control. You are fed a gradual serving of logic, stuff that actually seems to make sense, plausible, and it is presented in such a way that you interact with it, the courses, learning the auditing, auditing others. It is a dynamic which grabs you and seems to lift you and you get caught up in a whirlwind of energy and that energy feels good. It is a phenomenon which I label as the 'group grope' syndrome, which is a bit of a put down, I admit. But I have learned that there is a similar phenomenon which occurs with many cults; a large group of people united for a cause, the collective energy of which becomes a drug, and if you are a simple person with a burning void, and the ideology fits neatly into your style of beingness, you can easily become hooked. At this point you are not reachable by those who may be looking from the outside who are trying to awaken you to the truth of your condition. It is hopeless, you are lost. But you think it is they who are lost, those that haven't learned of the spiritual "technology" offered by the church. Hubbard was a very clever man. Scientology has many built in control points. These are bits of doctrine which come into play to reign in those who might be thinking critically about the church. Mechanisms such as the doctrine of Conditions Formulas, which, on the surface, seem logical. But the clincher is the condition of "doubt" which, if you are so unfortunate to have been assigned this, you will be punished, or have to endure a rather humiliating experience. The idea is that if you reach a state of mind, a doubtful state of mind, this state of mind, in Scientology, is a negative thing such that an official document is issued publicly in the Scientology community declaring you to be in a "Condition Of Doubt", and that in order to work your way out of this condition you will be assigned to the "RPF" (Rehabilitation Project Force, a Scientology-style amends-project, where you where dirty clothes, eat leftovers, and are generally humiliated), was one of the watershed events, since it happened to me, that cause me to break ranks with the church. A whole book can be written about the atrocities imposed on individuals who endure the RPF. Do an internet search on Rehabilitation Project Force, and you will find a wellspring of documents on the subject. I left Scientology after achieving a grade four release. I never went on to clear and OT, nor did I have any clue about the sci-fi aspects of the upper levels. I only found out about such things two years ago after I finally bought my first computer. None of the serious issues raised on the contemporary scene and on the internet are addressed here (part one of this essay) because when I left Scientology, I did not know about them. I left the church after I made a thorough reassessment of my spirituality. And so I was thinking about those things which made me decide to leave way back in 1975 and decided to make a list of them. So for those teetering on leaving, perhaps those who may be contemplating it, but can't find the concepts to fully support that decision, although what I am presenting here may or may not help, there may be some out there who are similarly constructed and so to them I present the mental processes I went through which gave me the conviction to leave, as it allowed me to realize that I as doing, for myself at least, the right thing.