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Helping Fathers Flourish in All Parts of Their Lives Alyssa F

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Helping Fathers Flourish in All Parts of Their Lives Alyssa F 5. Helping fathers flourish in all parts of their lives Alyssa F. Westring, Stewart D. Friedman and Kyle Thompson- Westra Research on the relationship between work and the rest of life has been linked historically with the concerns of working mothers. Not surpris- ingly, as women have entered the workforce in ever-increasing numbers, there has been both popular and academic enthusiasm for discussions of the challenges and opportunities for working mothers. Yet, as women’s roles have changed, so have the roles and values of men (Friedman, 2013). Men are spending more time with their children than ever before and increasingly contribute to domestic responsibilities. Despite the increased engagement with family, working fathers still face expectations of total commitment to work (Rudman and Mescher, 2013). Paid paternity leave is a rarity in the United States and most men take less than two weeks off work following the birth of a child (Harrington et al., 2010). However, there is a growing recognition of the importance of including fathers in the conversation about work and the rest of life. In fact, the 2008 US National Study of the Changing Workforce found that fathers in dual- career couples reported significantly more work–life conflict than mothers (Galinsky et al., 2008). In her book 2013 book, Superdads: How Fathers Balance Work and Family in the 21st Century, Gayle Kaufman, investi- gates how fathers perceive their roles and responsibilities with family and work. She identifies the most common category of fathers as ‘new dads’, who hold a balanced perspective on their role as fathers – they see their responsibilities as both breadwinner and caretaker and spend more time with their children than more traditional, career- focused fathers. The Boston College Center for Work and Family has also conducted research on these new dads to understand the way in which modern fathers view their work and family lives – and how they attempt to integrate them. Its 2011 study, The New Dad: Caring, Committed, and Conflicted, shows that fathers want to engage more fully with their children. Yet, these fathers are also committed to their careers and strive for job security, a sense of 85 BURKE 9781783474097 PRINT (M3606) (G).indd 85 06/01/2015 16:19 86 Flourishing in life, work and careers accomplishment and an interesting job (Harrington et al., 2011). This dual focus (both careers and family) represents a shifting away from more traditional expectations of fathers primarily as breadwinners (Friedman, 2013). There is little in the way of support for fathers pursuing this dual focus. As noted above, the lack of paid paternity leave in the United States is a critical barrier for new dads (Mundy, 2013). At the organizational level, many organizations value and reward total commitment to the work role, particularly for men (Correll et al., 2014). Men who deviate from these deeply embedded norms face stigmatization and career derailment (Coltrane et al., 2013). Given these institutionalized constraints, it is imperative to understand the strategies that fathers themselves can pursue in order to maintain their dual focus on career and family. It is important that we empower working fathers (just like working mothers) to find strategies for being meaningfully engaged and effective in both work and family roles. Slowly, there is growing academic scholarship on the topic of modern fatherhood (see, for instance, Raley et al., 2012; Ranson, 2012; McLaughlin and Muldoon, 2014). We aim to contribute to the body of research on the new dad by exploring strategies that working fathers can pursue to increase their performance in work and in family, as well as in other aspects of life, including community engagement and personal health. The purpose of this chapter is to explore the experiences of fathers in the Total Leadership program, a leadership development initiative focused on integrating work and the rest of life. Total Leadership helps individuals enhance their performance in all areas of their life by showing them how to pursue ‘four- way wins’ – actions designed to improve performance at work, at home, in the community, and for the private self. This scenario is an ideal developmental opportunity for new dads because it embraces a focus on performance and engagement in multiple areas of life. In other words, like new dads, the philosophy of the Total Leadership program rejects the notion that one must choose between a successful career and a meaningful family life. For this chapter, we focus on a series of ‘experiments’ designed and implemented by fathers of young children enrolled in the Total Leadership program as part of their Wharton Executive MBA. It is beyond the scope of this chapter to describe the entire Total Leadership experience in detail (see Friedman’s 2008 book, Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life). We explore how these fathers set out to enhance their per- formance in all aspects of their lives and the extent to which they reported being able to do so. We also describe the assets and liabilities faced by this group as they anticipated undertaking their experiments. BURKE 9781783474097 PRINT (M3606) (G).indd 86 06/01/2015 16:19 Helping fathers to flourish 87 Before we delve more deeply into our analyses, there are several assump- tions worth mentioning that underlie our perspective on this topic. First, we strongly advocate for institutional, organizational, and individual efforts to support working fathers. Changing policies and procedures at the national and institutional level will help to create organizational cultures that facili- tate a dual focus for fathers. Yet, we also firmly believe that there are steps that ‘new dads’ can take to generate meaningful changes in their own lives, regardless of the culture and policies of the organizations in which they are embedded (Friedman, 2013). Another assumption underlying this chapter is that these steps are relevant to both men and women. While we focus on fathers in this chapter, our perspective is that work–life integration is a human problem – not a male or female problem. This chapter, however, provided us with a unique opportunity to look at a smaller subset of Total Leadership participants – young fathers. Yet, we believe that the lessons from this chapter are applicable across gender or parental status. OVERVIEW OF METHODOLOGY As part of the Total Leadership program, participants provide in-depth accounts of their attitudes, goals, and experiences through a privacy- protected social learning learning platform. Participants provided consent for their responses to be used for research purposes. We created a subset of data that included male Executive MBA students from 2011 to 2013 with at least one child under the age of three who provided data regard- ing at least one Total Leadership experiment. The resulting sample size was 36 participants. This small dataset allowed us to look more closely at a unique sub- population of Total Leadership participants. Across these participants, the average age of the youngest child was 1.3 years old and participants had an average of two children. Our main goal was to extract key insights for working fathers by understanding a critical component of the Total Leadership experience: the design and implementation of experiments. Total Leadership experi- ments are short-term initiatives designed by the participants (and refined with peer and leader coaching) to enhance performance in all areas of life. Participants designed between one and three experiments, which were then implemented for four to eight weeks during the program (again with the support and feedback of peers and program leaders). In prior research we describe the qualitative data analysis that we used to generate nine distinct categories of experiments (Friedman and Westring, in press). In this chapter, we use these nine categories to under- stand the experiments designed by this group of fathers. We pay particular BURKE 9781783474097 PRINT (M3606) (G).indd 87 06/01/2015 16:19 88 Flourishing in life, work and careers attention to how the role of fatherhood plays into the design, intended impact, and implementation of the experiments. We provide quotes from these new dads in order to provide useful and practical insight to fathers managing the challenging task of meaningfully engaging in both work and family. In addition to examining their experiments along the nine pre- existing categories of experiments, we also explored the extent to which the fathers directly and indirectly involved their children in their experiments. We extract key recommendations for new dads from these findings. In addition to writing about the experiments that they designed, par- ticipants also reported the assets and liabilities that they believed might facilitate or hinder the effectiveness of their experiments. Understanding these barriers and opportunities may help other fathers who set out to make changes in the way that they integrate their life roles. We highlight key themes in terms of both assets and liabilities described by our sample of fathers. Finally, while we have reported on the efficacy of the Total Leadership program in other outlets (Friedman and Westring, in press), we also think that it is important to highlight the impact of the Total Leadership program on this unique sub- sample. Participants reported their satisfaction in four key areas of life: work, family, community, and self (i.e., mind, body, spirit). They also reported their wellbeing (including physical health, mental health, and stress levels). These evaluations were completed at the beginning of the Total Leadership program and again at the conclusion of the program (12–15 weeks later). Satisfaction was rated on a ten- point scale from 1 (Not at all satisfied) to 10 (Fully satisfied). Mental and physical health was rated on a five- point scale from 1 (Very poor) to 5 (Very good).
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