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March 2016 Real life. Real community. Scars Just part of the story Order in the Resurrection Paul Saber: Bread winner Local franchiser puts faith in action through Panera stores Movies: Breaking the chains The Young Messiah of addiction to porn ■ DEAN NELSON The gentle hand of grace ■ DANIEL JENKINS Don’t sweat the small stuff ■ JANICE THOMPSON The sandwich generation ■ MICHAEL FOUST 3 ways to teach your kids about death and the cross ■ JOANNE BROKAW Writing in real life refreshedsandiego.com San Diego’s inspirational lifestyle newspaper in plain sight DEAN NELSON The gentle hand of grace M ost of us have done something dumb, forms immediately. I fi lled them out in for my windpipe, but when I realized she get condemnation. I got a neck rub. I where we can’t believe we put our lives, the FedEx parking lot, stuffed them in an was getting the picture that our anni- got a massage that said, “We’re in this our jobs, our relationships, at risk, just be- envelope, wished them Godspeed, and versary trip was not going to happen be- together, regardless of how badly you cause we weren’t paying attention. Here’s slowly drove home. Things seemed OK cause of me, after two years of planning, screwed this up.” how it happened when, just days before between my wife and me on the surface. and she was still willing to share this Bringing out fl aws to our loved ones my wife and I were going to leave the We told the kids about it. My daughter shameful moment with me, I understood can be the very means that moves the country for our 25th wedding anniversary, would pass me in the house, pause, and the concept of grace. relationship forward. How else do we re- I discovered that my passport had expired. hug me unsolicited, as if it were my last “There’ still a chance this will work,” main in our deep relationships? How else We had the plane tickets, the apartment, cigarette before the execution. I caught the emotionless voice in Washington do we grow? With God or anyone else? everything, lined up. But it looked like I my son staring at me from another room. said. “Sign the form now, fax it to me, It is within the frame of families that we torpedoed the whole thing—a trip we had “What?” I asked. He slowly shook his and we’ll take it in fi rst thing Tuesday. learn how to become advocates for one been planning for two years. head. “You are so screwed,” he said. We’ll get it on the earliest overnight and another. I called a passport service in Washing- The earth didn’t start spinning again you might have it by 8 a.m. Wednesday. Family life in general is a series of ton D.C., fully ready to agree to anything until Monday morning, when I called The airport shuttle was coming at 9:30 small surrenders that move us downward, he demanded. Washington. Yes, they had my passport, a.m. It was the only option left. but actually lead us upward. It’s about giving away power and rights. It’s about “This happens all the time,” the bored and yes it was already at the U.S. State At 7:30 a.m. a van pulled in front of being unselfi sh. It’s bout feeling the way voice in Washington, D.C., told me. “We’ll Department being rushed through. I the house. The driver had an envelope. God feels—where we take delight in let- fax you some documents now; fi ll them should have it by tomorrow, they said. I signed for it before he was completely ting someone else’s life be more impor- out, sign them, and send the papers and That was one day before were leaving. A out of his vehicle. Two hours later anoth- tant than our own. your expired passport to us by FedEx little tight, but a livable margin. er van arrived and took us to the airport. right away.” They called Monday afternoon. Bad Within a day we were riding bikes I did what I was told, feeling like I news. I had forgotten to sign the back of along canals in Bruge, Belgium, playing Dean Nelson directs the was talking to hostage takers telling me one of the forms. Passport rejected. in the North Sea, enjoying the art and journalism program at Point where to drop off the money if I wanted My wife saw my body language and sights during the days and the jazz clubs Loma Nazarene University in to see my baby again. Name the time. stood behind the chair I was sitting in at night. I massaged Marcia’s shoulders San Diego. His book about Name your price. Add some zeroes to it. while I discussed my options on the a lot. seeing God in everyday life I won’t call the authorities. Just give me phone. She reached down and began to I remember the trip. I remember the is “God Hides in Plain Sight: back my trip, I beg you! massage my shoulders. I tucked my chin tension I caused. But what I remember How to See the Sacred in a True to their word, they sent the at fi rst, hoping she was actually feeling most was, at my lowest point, I did not Chaotic World.” The tree of knowledge begins with literacy NEW FREEDOM ACADEMY THIS Independent Study Program YEAR for Grades K-5 Literacy First Charter Schools s Individualized Academic Program (IAP) s Curriculum and resources provided Primary Academy (K-3) 799 E. Washington Ave. s Report attendance, turn in projects, track El Cajon, CA 92020 progress online (619) 579-7232 Progress folders & quarterly portfolios s Liberty Academy (K-6) s Resource lab for help with lessons, 698 W. Main St. planning, mentoring, mini-classes El Cajon, CA 92020 (619) 579-7233 s Standards-based report cards ■ Every Freedom family will take ownership of their learning experience Junior Academy (4-8) 1012 E. Bradley Ave. ■ Every Freedom student will be prepared to be an innovative leader El Cajon, CA 92021 ■ Every Freedom student will be prepared to be a life-long learner (619) 596-5665 Liberty Charter High School (9-12) Call (619) 579-7233 for enrollment information 8425 Palm St. Lemon Grove, CA 91945 Brought to you by Literacy First Charter Schools (619) 668-2131 Learn more at www.lfcsinc.org 2 REFRESHED | March 2016 Bill would off er school elective credits for off -site Bible study by LORI ARNOLD was constitutional because it was initiated by themselves, they apply themselves and do parents, held away from school property and better in class.” SACRAMENTO — When Gail Blake-Smith funded entirely by individuals and religious Now, the California Released Time Chris- took an early retirement from ATT she was organizations. An estimated 1,000 programs tian Education Association is hoping to join looking for something to keep herself busy. are being offered nationwide involving more at least four other states—South Carolina, That’s when her teenager came home from than 250,000 students from kindergarten Ohio, Georgia and Utah—in allowing high school asking questions about topics that through high school. school students to apply the Bible study to- contradicted their Christian faith. “Any faith-based organization has the ward the electives needed for high school “I told her rather than give her my opinion, freedom to offer Released Time classes as graduation. Participation in the program is let’s take a look at the Bible and read what God long as they meet the criteria established completely voluntary. said as an answer to her questions,” Blake-Smith by the Establishment Clause,” she said. “In Blake-Smith is working with state Sen. Mike said. “She was satisfi ed with the answers.” New York, I just confi rmed that 700 Jewish Morrell (R-Rancho Cucamonga), who was ex- The exchange prompted the woman to students in public education attend Released pected to introduce the bill, known as The Pa- wonder how other students were processing Time one hour per week, and Mormons also rental Choice Released Time Credit Act, before what they were learning. That’s when she dis- offer Released Time in Utah. the Feb. 19 legislative deadline, one of his staff- covered Released Time Christian Education Supporters of Released Time cite various ers said. Under the proposal students could re- and launched a chapter in Chino Valley. studies that show students benefi t from re- ceive two credits for attending the classes. Released Time is a national U.S. Supreme ligious education, including a 2003 study of “Approximately 75 percent of our Re- Court-sanctioned program that allows public the Oakland Unifi ed School District by the leased Time elementary students do not at- school children to leave their regular school National Council on Crime and Delinquency. tend church,” she said. “Some are clueless studies for Bible teaching one hour a week. “The study concluded that the students when we mention Noah or Moses and think An elementary school student listens as someone Seventy years ago Released Time brought improved, after one year, in three categories that they are new boys on campus. Some have reads the Bible during her weekly Released Time the program to California, and now at least of literacy skills: comprehension, spelling never seen a Bible or been to a church.” class. A pending state bill would allow high-schoolers 30 other states have similar activities. In and vocabulary,” Blake-Smith said, adding enrolled in the program to earn to elective credits 1952 the Supreme Court said the program “As we know, when students feel good about Learn more at www.letsgivehope2ourteens.org.