page MOVIES January 22, 2004 Year's worth of movies rated & degraded

By William Fancher

[flash] film reviewer William Fancher braved unreasonably foul movies during the past year. Below is Mr. Fancher's picks for the best and worst of 2003.

The Bad

Gigli Nothing fun whatsoever, despite brief appearances by Mr. Walken and . So many horrible things have been said about this movie. All I can say that hasn't already been said is this: It isn't a"s bad as you may have heard. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle More T&A from Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. What's it about? Does it matter? The only thing more ridiculous than its overblown, video game- Photo by Darren Michaels | Columbia Pictures style action is its insipid, The stars of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore, gaze into the abyss and wonder paper-thin plot. And it's not why their movie sucks so much. Will they find an answer, or continue to look stoned? Only Charlie knows for sure. even funny. The movie's one funny idea, that Bernie The Natural, compliments ing to go straight. It's a Santa's workshop who trav- Mac and are Some Good Ones director Gary Ross' photog- movie about con games, els to in search of brothers, is rendered raphy to create a great hustles and the inane cof- his Scrooge-like father humorless by over-explana- Seabiscuit sports movie. feehouse chatter that guys (James Caan). There's fun tion. This film chronicles the The Lord of the Rings: in their twenties love to for the kids in Ferrell's 2 Fast 2 Furious career of the champion The Return of the King have and love even more to insanity as well as fun for Car movies are about racehorse who won the The final chapter of an have in their movies. the parents in clever nods stunts. The subject matter public's heart during the epic trilogy that not only has Christopher Walken, Chazz to the ghost of Christmas and even the title of this 1930s. It's a film about the most interactive and Palminten and Rod Steiger movies past. movie series owe them- redemption. In giving photo-realistic computer (in his last role) bring effort- Bad Santa selves to exploitation Seabiscuit a second generated imagery ever on less class to their support- The best Christmas movies from the 1950s that chance, his owner (Jeff film, but rests those effects ing roles, and Callahan's movie of the year. There is exposed the dangerous Bridges), trainer (Chris on a strong script and even fast pace turns what could nothing for children in this world of street racing Cooper) and jockey (Tobey stronger performances. have been pretty grim movie. There is no lesson teenage delinquents. The Maguire) each find theirs. Director Peter Jackson material into a very fun learned, no Christmas mira- only reasons to watch are The three principal actors has succeeded where the movie. cle, rarely a mention of car chases and crashes, bring warmth and convic- director of a certain other Elf Jesus that isn't a swear and right? What's the point, tion to their roles, and epic trilogy has not (You The second best rarely a moment that isn't then, of car stunts and cam- William H. Macy is perfect know who I'm talking Christmas movie of the hilarious. era shots that are computer as announcer Tick Tock about). year, and 's best The one touch of warmth generated? Are we so McGlaughlin. Pool ha 11 Junkies nudity-free performance is the dedication to the late bored with the tangible Composer Randy Mars Callahan wrote, (see Old School). Ferrell John Ritter in the credits: world that everything has to Newman's score, while not directed and starred in this plays a lovably manic Everything else is dark, be a video game? as perfect as his score for indie about a pool shark try- human raised as an elf in mean and extremely funny *