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LA REVIEW DE LA SAISON NFL 2012-2013 Par

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LA REVIEW DE LA SAISON NFL 2012-2013 Par LA REVIEW DE LA SAISON NFL 2012-2013 Par Kuro pour Table des mati`eres INTRODUCTION 4 1 Hall Of Suck 5 1.1 Kansas City Chiefs (4e AFC WTFest / 2-14) ............. 6 1.2 Jacksonville Jaguars (4e AFC South / 2-14) .............. 13 1.3 Oakland Raiders (3e AFC WTFest / 4-12) ............... 20 1.4 Philadelphia Eagles (4e NFC East / 4-12) ............... 27 1.5 Detroit Lions (4e NFC North / 4-12) .................. 34 2 Hall Of Buttfumble 42 2.1 Cleveland Browns (4e AFC North / 5-11) ............... 43 2.2 Arizona Cardinals (4e NFC WTFest / 5-11) .............. 50 2.3 Buffalo Bills (4e AFC East / 6-10) ................... 57 2.4 New York Jets (3e AFC East / 6-10) .................. 64 2.5 Tennessee Titans (3e AFC South / 6-10) ................ 71 3 Hall Of 7-9 78 3.1 San Diego Chargers (2e AFC WTFest / 7-9) ............. 79 3.2 Miami Dolphins (2e AFC East / 7-9) .................. 86 3.3 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4e NFC South / 7-9) ............. 93 3.4 Carolina Panthers (2e NFC South / 7-9) ................ 100 3.5 New Orleans Saints (3e AFC South / 7-9) ............... 107 4 Hall Of Almost There 115 4.1 Saint-Louis Rams (3e NFC WTFest / 7-8-1) .............. 116 4.2 Pittsburgh Steelers (3e AFC North / 8-8) ............... 124 4.3 Dallas Cowboys (3e NFC East / 8-8) .................. 132 4.4 New York Giants (2e NFC East / 9-7) ................. 140 4.5 Chicago Bears (3e NFC North / 10-6) ................. 148 5 Hall Of Wild Card 156 5.1 Cincinnati Bengals (2e AFC North / 10-6 / 0-1) ........... 157 5.2 Washington Redskins (1e NFC East / 10-6 / 0-1) ........... 165 5.3 Minnesota Vikings (2e NFC North / 10-6 / 0-1) ............ 173 5.4 Indianapolis Colts (2e AFC South / 11-5 / 0-1) ............ 181 2 3 6 Hall Of Touchception 189 6.1 Seattle Seahawks (2e NFC WTFest / 11-5 / 1-1) ........... 190 6.2 Green Bay Packers (1e NFC North / 11-5 / 1-1) ........... 198 6.3 Houston Texans (1e AFC South / 12-4 / 1-1) ............. 206 6.4 Denver Broncos (1e AFC WTFest / 13-3 / 0-1) ............ 214 7 Hall Of Best 222 7.1 New England Patriots (1e AFC East / 12-4 / 1-1) .......... 223 7.2 Atlanta Falcons (1e NFC South / 13-3 / 1-1) ............. 231 7.3 San Francisco 49ers (1e NFC WTFest / 11-4-1 / 2-1) ......... 239 7.4 Baltimore Ravens (1e AFC North / 10-6 / 4-0) ............ 248 4 INTRODUCTION La NFL, quelque part, c’est un gigantesque roman-photo. Il y a de tout : des histoires d’amiti´e, des histoires d’amour, des trahisons, des sc`enes de m´enage, des ruptures, des adult`eres, des amis qui deviennent ennemis, des ennemis qui deviennent amis, beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup de fric et beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup de drama. En fait, la NFL, c’est exactement comme le magazine ”Nous Deux”, sp´ecialiste des romans-photo... sauf que bien entendu, vu le nombre d’´equipes, c’est plutˆot... Vous me voyez venir hein ? Il est temps de traiter la saison NFL 2012-2013 comme elle le m´erite : comme un 32 petits romans-photo. Evidemment, le gros avantage pour moi, c’est que je suis forc´ement gagnant : si vous me dites qu’ils sont bien, je suis content, et si vous me dites qu’ils sont nazes, je vous r´epondrais que c’est le niveau g´en´eral des romans-photo. Win-win ! NB : J’ai d´esolidaris´ele record en saison r´eguli`ere et celui en PO. NB2 : Les stats sont celles de la saison r´eguli`ere, playoffs non inclus, sauf indi- cation contraire. NB3 : Les stats g´en´erales proviennent de NFL.com et celles plus d´etaill´ees de ProFootballFocus comme le % run stop, qui est le pourcentage de stops (plaquages `a perte ou pour gain nul) r´eussis par rapport au nombre de snaps en d´efense contre la course. NB4 : Quand je parle de pressions sur le QB, ¸ca signifie les sacks, hits & hurries. Chapitre 1 Hall Of Suck Puisqu’on part dans l’ordre de la draft, logique de commencer par les 5 privil´e- gi´es qui se sont assez ramass´es pour avoir le droit de choisir les premiers dans une draft. Malheureusement pour eux, les premiers picks ne se d´etachent pas autant que les ann´ees pr´ec´edentes (et surtout la derni`ere). The Hall Of Suck 2012-2013, people ! 6 Chapitre 1 : Hall Of Suck 1.1 Kansas City Chiefs (4e AFC WTFest / 2-14) La th´eorie de la soustraction par addition On d´emarre notre Season Review avec Kansas City, une franchise qui a ´et´e´ebran- l´ee par la trag´edie Jovan Belcher. C’est toujours compliqu´ed’´evaluer l’importance d’un tel ´ev´enement, mais les changements de r´egime `ala fin de la saison rappellent que tout ce qui est all´ede travers cette ann´ee n’est pas dˆu qu’`a¸ca. A lire en se demandant ce qu’a dˆupasser par la tˆete de Pioli et Crennel sur ce parking. Section 1.1 : Kansas City Chiefs (4e AFC WTFest / 2-14) 7 8 Chapitre 1 : Hall Of Suck Les pr´evisions de Madame Soleil 2012 Qu’allait donner une saison compl`ete de Romeo ? L’interim de Romeo Cren- nel `ala fin de la saison pr´ec´edente avait ´et´eint´eressante, mais il avait dˆufaire sans ses principales armes offensives et Eric Berry, touch´es par le virus de l’ACL en vrac. Au niveau du march´e, les Chiefs avaient fait des acquisitions int´eressantes comme l’OT des Texans Eric Winston ou le CB des Raiders Stanford Routt qui rem- pla¸cait Brandon Carr parti aux Boys (mˆeme si Routt avait beaucoup profit´ede la pr´esence de Nnamdi Asomugha quand il ´etait encore `aOakland). Au niveau de la draft, les Chiefs avaient craqu´esur le ph´enom`ene physique du Combine, le DT Dontari Poe, dont on pr´edisait un futur `ala Haloti Ngata (rien que ¸ca), tout en ajoutant l’OT Jeff Allen. Il ne manquait plus qu’`avoir si avec ces nouvelles armes, Matt Cassel, Jamaal Charles et Dwayne Bowe d’un cˆot´eainsi que Tamba Hali et Derrick Johnson de l’autre allaient pouvoir extirper leur ´equipe de l’AFC West. La saison Atlanta 24-40, @Buffalo 17-35, @New Orleans 27-24 (OT), San Diego 20-37, Baltimore 6-9, @Tampa Bay 10-38, Oakland 16-26, @San Diego 13-31, @Pittsburgh 13-16 (OT), Cincinnati 6-28, Denver 9-17, Carolina 27-21, @Cleveland 7-30, @Oak- land 0-15, Indianapolis 13-20, @Denver 3-38. Section 1.1 : Kansas City Chiefs (4e AFC WTFest / 2-14) 9 La r´ealit´e J’adore Romeo Crennel, vraiment. Je pense qu’il ne re¸coit pas assez d’acco- lades pour le boulot qu’il peut accomplir en tant qu’assistant (notamment DC), demandez donc `a Bill Belichick ce qu’il en pense. C’est un gars qui peut vous transcender une d´efense. Mais si son passage `aCleveland n’avait pas suffit `ale prouver, il vient encore une fois de montrer qu’il n’est pas taill´epour ˆetre un Head Coach. Comment expliquer autrement ce ratatinage monumental d’une ´equipe qui a RECUPERE ses meilleurs joueurs ? Je ne sais toujours pas comment ils ont r´eussi `abattre NO et Carolina... enfin si je sais : NO n’arrivait `arien en d´ebut de saison, et Carolina... ben c’est du Carolina. Si vous voulez je peux vous r´esumer comment on finit 2-14 : 13.2 points par match, un TD ratio de -29 (18 marqu´es, 47 encaiss´es) et un turnover ratio de -24, les pires de la ligue. Et tout ¸ca commence avec le QB... ou les QBs. Matt Cassel/Brady Quinn mesdames et messieurs : 273/474, 57.6%, 8 TD, 20 INT. Cassel est cens´eˆetre le titulaire, il en est `a6 TD/12 INT, il n’y a AUCUN QB titulaire qui a marqu´emoins de TD. On peut me sortir l’excuse Jamaal Charles autant qu’on veut, mais pas quand on a Dwayne Bowe dans l’´equipe. Et puis il y a une diff´erence entre ne pas avoir des stats hallucinantes parce qu’on a un bon cou- reur, et ˆetre une bille finie (demandez `a Troy Aikman). Un des grands chantiers d’Andy Reid, le nouveau coach, est de trouver un vrai QB `aKC. Il le sait tr`es bien, c’est pour ¸ca qu’il en a parl´ede suite en arrivant. Cassel a ´epuis´edepuis un moment son halo acquis en 2008 quand il a fait toute la saison `a la place de Tom Brady, alors que Quinn est Quinn sans trop de surprises. Maintenant, avec le trade quasiment sˆur d’Alex Smith, ¸ca permet `ala franchise d’esp´erer un peu, mais ¸ca continue une s´erie totalement hallucinante. Asseyez-vous, c’est assez ´enorme. Vous ˆetes prˆet ? Depuis 1988, AUCUN QB DRAFTE PAR KC N’A GAGNE UN MATCH POUR LES CHIEFS. 10 Chapitre 1 : Hall Of Suck Sid´erant non ? Pas un seul. DEPUIS 1988. Toutes les victoires sont venus de QBs draft´es par d’autres... voire carr´ement non draft´es. Juste pour information, Joey Harrington a gagn´e18 matchs pour Detroit, JaMarcus Russell 7 pour les Raiders, Ryan Leaf 4 pour les Chargers, Akili Smith 3 pour les Bengals et Andre Ware autant pour... ouais encore Detroit.
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